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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,444 --> 00:00:02,776 Self, I don't buy it. 2 00:00:02,863 --> 00:00:04,694 And you say to me, self. 3 00:00:04,778 --> 00:00:06,678 I say, yeah, who's... 4 00:00:06,761 --> 00:00:08,729 [explosion] 5 00:00:08,811 --> 00:00:13,248 Yeah, self, I got bigger fish to fry. 6 00:00:13,348 --> 00:00:15,179 The six-ton guppy in the room 7 00:00:15,263 --> 00:00:17,390 is to find my father's killer. 8 00:00:17,481 --> 00:00:19,244 Everywhere I go, I look. 9 00:00:19,329 --> 00:00:22,492 And everywhere I look, I see clues. 10 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,079 Son! 11 00:00:24,168 --> 00:00:27,137 It was you who killed me! 12 00:00:27,225 --> 00:00:29,090 What kind of stupid 13 00:00:29,174 --> 00:00:30,368 name is Yoohoo? 14 00:00:30,451 --> 00:00:32,646 Well, when I find that demon, 15 00:00:32,736 --> 00:00:34,897 I shall slay him... to death. 16 00:00:34,988 --> 00:00:36,888 Yoohoo! Yoohoo! 17 00:00:36,971 --> 00:00:38,097 No, no, no, no. 18 00:00:38,181 --> 00:00:39,170 No, not Yoohoo. 19 00:00:39,255 --> 00:00:40,449 It was you, damn it! 20 00:00:40,532 --> 00:00:42,227 You, Xavier... you killed your 21 00:00:42,314 --> 00:00:44,874 own father! 22 00:00:44,968 --> 00:00:46,299 Me? 23 00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:47,812 It was I who... 24 00:00:47,892 --> 00:00:49,223 I killed my... 25 00:00:49,303 --> 00:00:50,668 No! 26 00:00:50,748 --> 00:00:54,514 [Echoing] No! 27 00:00:54,612 --> 00:00:56,705 The pride I feel for finally 28 00:00:56,797 --> 00:00:58,890 fingering my father's killer is 29 00:00:58,981 --> 00:01:01,108 dampened only by the fact that I 30 00:01:01,198 --> 00:01:03,098 promised to kill my father's 31 00:01:03,181 --> 00:01:04,239 killer. 32 00:01:04,323 --> 00:01:06,951 I fingered myself to death. 33 00:01:07,046 --> 00:01:09,241 That closed circle of violence 34 00:01:09,331 --> 00:01:11,322 ends here at the tip of this 35 00:01:11,413 --> 00:01:14,075 razor of justice against my throat. 36 00:01:14,169 --> 00:01:14,999 Die, killer. 37 00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:17,306 Goodbye, killer slayer. 38 00:01:17,395 --> 00:01:18,487 What you doin', boy? 39 00:01:18,571 --> 00:01:19,401 [Neck cracks] 40 00:01:19,478 --> 00:01:20,945 Fulfilling a promise 41 00:01:21,024 --> 00:01:23,015 I made to a worthless murderer. 42 00:01:23,108 --> 00:01:24,905 I was just about to cut one. 43 00:01:24,989 --> 00:01:26,047 Well, don't. 44 00:01:26,132 --> 00:01:28,157 You're sitting on my hat, freak. 45 00:01:28,249 --> 00:01:29,307 Please. 46 00:01:29,392 --> 00:01:30,324 Leave me alone. 47 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,868 I've got a piece of business to attend to. 48 00:01:32,953 --> 00:01:35,148 Y'all got a business license? 49 00:01:35,238 --> 00:01:36,899 No, I don't. 50 00:01:36,985 --> 00:01:39,044 What is you, a Wisenheimer? 51 00:01:39,136 --> 00:01:41,036 Hold the heimer. 52 00:01:41,118 --> 00:01:43,450 I'm just a man of great wisen. 53 00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,369 Now squeeze that heimer till it 54 00:01:45,454 --> 00:01:47,422 pops, like a ballonafor feasting 55 00:01:47,503 --> 00:01:49,198 on the lifechops of his own 56 00:01:49,285 --> 00:01:50,309 demise. 57 00:01:50,394 --> 00:01:51,554 [Neck cracking] 58 00:01:51,636 --> 00:01:53,399 That's it! Hold my books. 59 00:01:53,484 --> 00:01:56,180 I'm gonna rip you a new a-hole. 60 00:01:56,274 --> 00:01:57,571 Oh, yeah! 61 00:01:57,652 --> 00:01:59,882 Provide him with a fresh rectum. 62 00:01:59,970 --> 00:02:01,767 Hold my wallet and sunglasses 63 00:02:01,852 --> 00:02:02,944 while I whoop him. 64 00:02:03,029 --> 00:02:04,519 Oh, you're going down! 65 00:02:04,608 --> 00:02:06,371 Best hold my contact lenses, 66 00:02:06,456 --> 00:02:08,151 too, and my silk shirt. 67 00:02:08,236 --> 00:02:10,670 Don't want to get any blood on it. 68 00:02:10,757 --> 00:02:11,724 Oh, yummy! 69 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,197 There gonna be blood! 70 00:02:13,277 --> 00:02:14,972 Please, walk away. 71 00:02:15,058 --> 00:02:16,889 I can't be responsible for what 72 00:02:16,974 --> 00:02:18,839 I'll do if you beat me to death. 73 00:02:18,922 --> 00:02:19,980 That tears it. 74 00:02:20,064 --> 00:02:21,088 Hold my prosthesis. 75 00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:23,005 Oh, you are in for a nubbin'. 76 00:02:23,089 --> 00:02:25,080 I've got no beef with you. 77 00:02:25,172 --> 00:02:26,366 I'm woefully beefless. 78 00:02:26,449 --> 00:02:28,781 Well, I'm about to make you teethless. 79 00:02:28,869 --> 00:02:30,131 Oh, hold on to my teeth. 80 00:02:30,213 --> 00:02:31,703 [Muffled] And hold on to my 81 00:02:31,792 --> 00:02:33,089 tattoo and my robotical. 82 00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:34,831 I ain't never seen him this 83 00:02:34,918 --> 00:02:36,215 heated since the incident. 84 00:02:36,296 --> 00:02:37,661 Please, hop away. 85 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:38,968 You seem like smart guys. 86 00:02:39,051 --> 00:02:40,882 Don't turn stupid all of a sudden. 87 00:02:40,966 --> 00:02:41,898 That's slander! 88 00:02:41,975 --> 00:02:43,340 All we gots to do now is sit 89 00:02:43,419 --> 00:02:45,512 back, let the judicial system do 90 00:02:45,603 --> 00:02:48,436 its job, and watch the dollars roll in. 91 00:02:48,527 --> 00:02:49,357 Come on! 92 00:02:49,434 --> 00:02:50,560 Or... I could let 93 00:02:50,644 --> 00:02:53,112 Clarence Thomas here serve out 94 00:02:53,198 --> 00:02:55,860 his own brand of black justice. 95 00:02:55,953 --> 00:02:57,853 Oh, you want I should hold 96 00:02:57,936 --> 00:02:59,494 your toupee, too, while you fist 97 00:02:59,582 --> 00:03:00,412 him up, boss? 98 00:03:00,490 --> 00:03:02,822 You weren't supposed to tell about the... 99 00:03:02,909 --> 00:03:03,739 T-that's it! 100 00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:05,078 Take that. Taste the pain. 101 00:03:05,161 --> 00:03:05,991 Take that. 102 00:03:06,067 --> 00:03:07,432 Taste the tou-tou-tou-pain. 103 00:03:07,512 --> 00:03:09,241 You might as well 104 00:03:09,327 --> 00:03:10,760 just finish me off. 105 00:03:10,839 --> 00:03:12,932 I's gonna do you one worse. 106 00:03:13,023 --> 00:03:15,014 I'm gonna shave you down and 107 00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:18,076 make me a wrist-hair moustache. 108 00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:21,156 This W.H.M. Is gonna be sweet! 109 00:03:21,256 --> 00:03:22,086 Huh?! 110 00:03:22,163 --> 00:03:23,858 I-I didn't know. 111 00:03:23,944 --> 00:03:25,707 I-I'm sorry, mister. 112 00:03:25,793 --> 00:03:27,090 Come... come on, tater. 113 00:03:27,171 --> 00:03:28,604 What happened, boss? 114 00:03:28,682 --> 00:03:30,115 These numbers. 115 00:03:30,195 --> 00:03:31,560 What could they be from? 116 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:32,867 I need concentration. 117 00:03:32,950 --> 00:03:34,474 Concentration... That's it! 118 00:03:34,563 --> 00:03:35,723 It's a phone number. 119 00:03:35,806 --> 00:03:37,501 It must be my reprieve, a 120 00:03:37,587 --> 00:03:39,555 last-minute cosmic pardon from 121 00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:42,037 the governor of circumstance. 122 00:03:42,124 --> 00:03:42,954 [Dial tone] 123 00:03:43,031 --> 00:03:44,055 [Telephone rings] 124 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,266 Self: Hello? Hello? 125 00:03:45,349 --> 00:03:46,281 Hello? 126 00:03:46,358 --> 00:03:47,416 Self: Who's this? 127 00:03:47,501 --> 00:03:48,627 Who's this? 128 00:03:48,710 --> 00:03:50,575 Self: I'm asking the questions. 129 00:03:50,659 --> 00:03:51,591 I called you. 130 00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,396 No, I called you. 131 00:03:53,482 --> 00:03:55,313 And you sound like the ugliest 132 00:03:55,397 --> 00:03:56,955 son of a bitch I ever heard. 133 00:03:57,044 --> 00:03:58,568 Self: You sound like the 134 00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:00,317 physical manifestation of some 135 00:04:00,403 --> 00:04:01,665 loser's inner demons. 136 00:04:01,748 --> 00:04:03,306 Well, you sound 137 00:04:03,394 --> 00:04:04,759 like some total chode's 138 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,330 inability to confront the 139 00:04:06,419 --> 00:04:08,284 reality of his past actions. 140 00:04:08,367 --> 00:04:10,130 Self: If I ever get your 141 00:04:10,215 --> 00:04:12,240 stinky mug in my line of sight, 142 00:04:12,332 --> 00:04:14,163 I swear to jack off, I'll cock 143 00:04:14,248 --> 00:04:15,078 your clock off. 144 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,520 Well, I'm going to be 145 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:17,897 the bigger man and hang up fi... 146 00:04:17,978 --> 00:04:18,842 [receiver clicks] 147 00:04:18,919 --> 00:04:21,752 Damn it! 148 00:04:21,842 --> 00:04:23,309 Listen, we don't cotton to 149 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:24,855 freaks 'round these parts. 150 00:04:24,934 --> 00:04:26,026 Scram, weirdo. 151 00:04:26,110 --> 00:04:27,441 Self: Oh, yeah? 152 00:04:27,521 --> 00:04:29,045 I don't polycotton to 153 00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,966 copingtropes, even my own. 154 00:04:31,050 --> 00:04:32,312 So why don't you split? 155 00:04:32,393 --> 00:04:34,486 Looks like I already did. 156 00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:36,341 You're the sad figment of my 157 00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:38,690 twisted psyche's tragic dividend. 158 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:39,938 You're the un-me. 159 00:04:40,022 --> 00:04:41,011 I'm the real me. 160 00:04:41,097 --> 00:04:42,223 You want to be me? 161 00:04:42,307 --> 00:04:44,036 Self: Kiddo, I was the real 162 00:04:44,121 --> 00:04:46,385 me when you were still in my short pants. 163 00:04:46,474 --> 00:04:47,839 Hate to break it to 164 00:04:47,919 --> 00:04:49,147 you, but I wore them first. 165 00:04:49,229 --> 00:04:50,924 Me bequeathed thee the 166 00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:52,375 psychopathological 167 00:04:52,455 --> 00:04:53,285 hand-you-down. 168 00:04:53,362 --> 00:04:54,693 Self: So you're the one who 169 00:04:54,774 --> 00:04:55,604 stained them. 170 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,705 Whoever found it browned it. 171 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,129 Self: You'd like me to be 172 00:04:59,209 --> 00:05:00,073 you, wouldn't me? 173 00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:01,048 But it's too late. 174 00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:02,114 You snoze, you loze. 175 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,065 You sleeped, you weeped. 176 00:05:04,149 --> 00:05:06,208 Self: You nap-uh, you get slap-uh. 177 00:05:06,299 --> 00:05:08,267 You slumber, a cucumber. 178 00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:09,782 Self: You catch up on some 179 00:05:09,861 --> 00:05:11,351 zeds, you get out of my heads. 180 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,431 You slumber, ham... burger! 181 00:05:13,524 --> 00:05:14,650 I don't want to talk about 182 00:05:14,733 --> 00:05:15,563 nothing else. 183 00:05:15,641 --> 00:05:17,040 Self: Listen, this psyche is 184 00:05:17,119 --> 00:05:18,108 not big enough for two 185 00:05:18,195 --> 00:05:19,184 metaphysical seekers. 186 00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:20,532 You couldn't seek 187 00:05:20,615 --> 00:05:22,207 your way out of a cardboard bag. 188 00:05:22,295 --> 00:05:23,887 Self: Yeah, I know, 'cause it 189 00:05:23,974 --> 00:05:24,872 would be an egg. 190 00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,211 [Thinking] Ooh! 191 00:05:26,294 --> 00:05:27,886 This guy might be better than me. 192 00:05:27,974 --> 00:05:28,998 Self: You're right. 193 00:05:29,082 --> 00:05:30,014 I am better than me. 194 00:05:30,090 --> 00:05:31,352 Look, buddy, know 195 00:05:31,435 --> 00:05:32,527 when you're defeated. 196 00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:33,804 Accept your defecation. 197 00:05:33,887 --> 00:05:34,945 Self: No, thanks. 198 00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:36,520 I'm full, 'cause I eat pussies 199 00:05:36,609 --> 00:05:37,803 like you for breakfast. 200 00:05:37,886 --> 00:05:39,046 Look at you. 201 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,563 You look so superficial, you 202 00:05:40,642 --> 00:05:42,132 probably judge things by their 203 00:05:42,221 --> 00:05:43,188 physical appearance. 204 00:05:43,263 --> 00:05:44,127 Self: Oh, yeah? 205 00:05:44,204 --> 00:05:45,398 Your mom's so shallow, she 206 00:05:45,481 --> 00:05:47,381 probably thinks this quip is about her. 207 00:05:47,464 --> 00:05:48,863 You're about as deep 208 00:05:48,942 --> 00:05:50,500 as a bowl of soup, and your 209 00:05:50,589 --> 00:05:52,113 tongue is about as sharp as a 210 00:05:52,201 --> 00:05:53,031 soup spoon. 211 00:05:53,108 --> 00:05:54,871 Self: Hey, say what you want 212 00:05:54,956 --> 00:05:56,719 about me, but lay off the soup. 213 00:05:56,804 --> 00:05:58,533 If you love soup so 214 00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:00,416 much, why don't you marry soup? 215 00:06:00,501 --> 00:06:02,059 Self: 'Cause I'm already 216 00:06:02,148 --> 00:06:03,308 married... to justice. 217 00:06:03,391 --> 00:06:05,052 Yeah, only a blind 218 00:06:05,138 --> 00:06:06,503 girl would marry you. 219 00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,175 Self: I know everything 220 00:06:08,263 --> 00:06:10,356 you're gonna... say. 221 00:06:10,447 --> 00:06:12,915 And I know everything you're gonna... 222 00:06:13,001 --> 00:06:13,831 Self: Don't. 223 00:06:13,909 --> 00:06:14,933 Oh, yeah? 224 00:06:15,018 --> 00:06:16,451 Well, when God was passing out 225 00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:17,895 insight, you thought he said 226 00:06:17,974 --> 00:06:19,908 that when God was passing out 227 00:06:19,991 --> 00:06:21,925 holy prophets, you thought he 228 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,872 said, "oily faucets," 'cause 229 00:06:23,956 --> 00:06:26,015 your soul has diarrhea of the 230 00:06:26,107 --> 00:06:27,165 mouth faucet. 231 00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:29,241 Self: Are you so dumb you 232 00:06:29,332 --> 00:06:30,765 even answer rhetorical 233 00:06:30,845 --> 00:06:31,675 questions? 234 00:06:32,223 --> 00:06:33,884 I don't know. Do you? 235 00:06:33,970 --> 00:06:36,564 Self: We can play this game all night. 236 00:06:36,658 --> 00:06:37,317 First of all, it's 237 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,059 daytime, and this is no game. 238 00:06:40,152 --> 00:06:41,119 Self: Checkmate. 239 00:06:41,195 --> 00:06:42,025 Oh! 240 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,330 So you admit that you're 241 00:06:43,412 --> 00:06:44,970 checking me out and you want to mate. 242 00:06:45,562 --> 00:06:46,392 Self: Ooh! 243 00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:47,937 You got a license to sell 244 00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:49,210 hot dogs, chico man? 245 00:06:49,293 --> 00:06:50,191 No. 246 00:06:50,268 --> 00:06:51,792 They wouldn't give it to me 247 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,575 because when I was filling out 248 00:06:53,661 --> 00:06:55,288 the application, my penis was 249 00:06:55,376 --> 00:06:56,206 sticking out. 250 00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:57,340 Self: Oh, yeah? 251 00:06:57,425 --> 00:06:58,687 You only got one peni? 252 00:06:58,769 --> 00:07:00,100 Let me see it. 253 00:07:00,180 --> 00:07:01,545 See with your eyes, 254 00:07:01,626 --> 00:07:02,558 not with your mouth. 255 00:07:02,634 --> 00:07:03,999 Self: I'll call your bluff. 256 00:07:04,079 --> 00:07:05,410 I'll see your penis with your 257 00:07:05,490 --> 00:07:07,253 mouth, and I raise you with my hand. 258 00:07:07,338 --> 00:07:08,327 Ante up. 259 00:07:08,413 --> 00:07:09,471 Self: Oh! Damn it! 260 00:07:09,555 --> 00:07:10,783 What's wrong? 261 00:07:10,867 --> 00:07:12,858 Self: I crapped out, but I'm tough. 262 00:07:12,949 --> 00:07:13,881 I can suck it up. 263 00:07:13,957 --> 00:07:14,821 Okay. 264 00:07:14,899 --> 00:07:16,366 Count of three, we show what's 265 00:07:16,444 --> 00:07:18,105 under the loincloth. 266 00:07:18,192 --> 00:07:19,557 Wiener take all. 267 00:07:19,636 --> 00:07:23,595 Both: One, two, three. 268 00:07:27,869 --> 00:07:29,666 Self: I guess there's only 269 00:07:29,751 --> 00:07:31,241 one way to settle this. 270 00:07:31,331 --> 00:07:34,562 Both: A Shakashuri blowdown. 271 00:07:34,657 --> 00:07:36,181 Self: I assume you're 272 00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:38,170 familiar with St. Louis rules. 273 00:07:38,252 --> 00:07:39,344 Fine. 274 00:07:39,429 --> 00:07:40,953 We'll blow to the death. 275 00:07:41,042 --> 00:07:44,409 Self: Okay. Ladies first. 276 00:07:47,998 --> 00:07:49,124 [Grunting] 277 00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:50,196 Fine! 278 00:07:50,283 --> 00:07:52,114 I'll blow first. 279 00:07:52,198 --> 00:07:55,429 [Low-pitched melody plays] 280 00:08:00,902 --> 00:08:04,030 [High-pitched melody plays] 281 00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:11,726 [Low-pitched melody plays] 282 00:08:18,509 --> 00:08:22,036 [High-pitched melody plays] 283 00:08:27,279 --> 00:08:30,442 [Low-pitched melody plays] 284 00:08:36,857 --> 00:08:40,384 [High-pitched melody plays] 285 00:08:45,728 --> 00:08:51,758 [Low-pitched melody plays] 286 00:08:51,877 --> 00:08:54,971 [Unicorn grunts] 287 00:08:55,070 --> 00:08:57,834 [High-pitched melody plays] 288 00:09:04,209 --> 00:09:07,110 [Low-pitched melody plays] 289 00:09:14,391 --> 00:09:17,451 [High-pitched melody plays] 290 00:09:21,616 --> 00:09:24,779 [Low-pitched melody plays] 291 00:09:28,672 --> 00:09:31,835 [High-pitched melody plays] 292 00:09:36,804 --> 00:09:39,739 [Low-pitched melody plays] 293 00:09:47,692 --> 00:09:50,684 [High-pitched melody plays] 294 00:09:50,784 --> 00:09:52,649 [Low-pitched melody plays] 295 00:09:52,732 --> 00:09:54,700 [High-pitched melody plays] 296 00:09:54,782 --> 00:10:01,119 [Low-pitched melody plays] 297 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:04,032 [High-pitched melody plays] 298 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:18,280 [Low-pitched melody plays] 299 00:10:29,527 --> 00:10:35,295 [High-pitched melody plays] 300 00:10:35,408 --> 00:10:40,675 [Melodies harmonize] 301 00:10:40,785 --> 00:10:42,116 And that's time. Whoa! 302 00:10:42,197 --> 00:10:43,630 Heck of a Shakashuri match with 303 00:10:43,708 --> 00:10:44,697 a lot of fast action! 304 00:10:44,784 --> 00:10:45,716 What did you think, 305 00:10:45,792 --> 00:10:47,123 Tad B. Holyburn in the scoochie booth? 306 00:10:47,203 --> 00:10:48,192 I think a lot of things, but 307 00:10:48,278 --> 00:10:49,176 you're probably gonna cut... 308 00:10:49,253 --> 00:10:50,618 you know the stakes, Tad. 309 00:10:50,697 --> 00:10:52,221 Whoever wins gets his own show. 310 00:10:52,311 --> 00:10:53,710 And guess what, folks at home. 311 00:10:53,789 --> 00:10:54,619 You get to decide. 312 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:55,526 That's right. 313 00:10:55,604 --> 00:10:57,071 Write down on a postcard who you 314 00:10:57,150 --> 00:10:58,344 think won and send it off. 315 00:10:58,427 --> 00:10:59,621 Send it where? You decide. 316 00:10:59,704 --> 00:11:01,934 You choose. It's up to you! 317 00:11:02,022 --> 00:11:05,389 [Echoing] It was you. 318 00:11:05,439 --> 00:11:09,989 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 20115

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