Original subtitles

[Thinking] Certain days

scald the soul with a

searing ember, like Tuesdays and today...

The 20th anniversary of my father's murder.

Each year, I mourn by reliving

our last day together.

I'll take a cotton candy, please.

Do you want one, dad?

Dad? Dad!

Don't make this poor, pathetic vendor wait.

Every year, this guy!

[Thinking] I've not

known joy since my father was

scorched alive, blanched from

the clutches of my heart.

Daddy, take my picture with

the funny man!

[Thinking] I shall

never smile again.

Smile.

For this trick, I need a victim...

I mean, volunteer.

Look-see, honeybee.

Hey, what about you?

I'm a victim.

Just stand right there.

I'll shed some light on the

situationism.

Hot potato, two potato, three

potato not.

Four potato, hot potato, six

potato, eight.

Who did this to you guys?!

Our son.

I know it was arson

[our son] Dad, but who did it?!

Daddy! I shall venge thee!

...six potato, eight.

Whoo! Hot nuts for sale! Youch!

Want to kiss my boo-boo, make it better?

Thank you!

I don't get paid down here at

the wharf, so give what you can.

Hot potato!

How dare you attempt

to tame dame flame!

She shall burn thee, I promise thy.

No, oh, no, fire is a

tactical, majestical force... a

swirling, shimmering, succulent

dance in that luminous nether

mention twixt light and heat.

Fire is freedom personified.

No! Fire should be

shot in the back of the head for

killing my parents.

I vow to never rest until I've

found my father's slayer.

What about your mother?

She knows what she's done.

So, if you don't get paid down

here at the wharf, how do you

pay rent?

[Scoffs]

I'm too unique to pay rent!

I'm punk rock personified.

If I need money, I sell my seed,

and I live in Squatopia.

Don't tell me you've never heard

of Squatopia.

As soon as you pass this line,

you will enter Squatopia...

a fully self- sustained, anarchist

commune, a land with no rules

and no laws to bind and restrict

the soul and the heart.

Freedom personified.

Squatters' rights!

So long, square!

That guy just stole

my significant crystal.

That's impossible, brah.

There's no stealing here, for

this is Squatopia!

I know.

That other guy told me.

You knew, brah, and you still

made me do that ridiculous

introduction, dude?!

You sick sack of... you're all right.

Gooble-gobble.

Let me show you around.

I really just need my

crystalline necklace back.

Yep, we were the first to

squat a whole town, brah.

Okay, these are the crash couches.

Rip some z's, if you please.

This is the freedom fountain and

the public toilet.

Hey, squatters' rights!

All: Squatters' rights!

Yeah, but, you see,

the crystal belonged to my father.

He was murdered.

This is the wreck [rec] center,

brah, where we wreck things.

And over there, that's Chinatown.

Hey, squatters' rights!

You get out of here now!

Only one rule here, brah...

No rules.

Anyone caught with rules has to

wear the scarlet "F."

Fascist.

That crystal is the

most important... two potato.

...thing in my life.

If I need any cash, I just

sell my seed, brah.

If I'm really desperate,

I scrape the seed off the couches

and sell it.

One day, we'll squat the globe.

The thief had a unicycle.

Did you see him?

That was puggler.

You should have asked me before.

You'll never catch up to brah now.

He went to B.M.

In the freedom fountain?

No, burning man.

Actually, this year, we're not gonna be sexist.

We're calling it burning person.

In today's day and age, women

can be set on fire, too.

Hey, meet a dude brah of mine.

This is 'Tude. 'Tude, brah.

What's up, Broham?

Thanks for coming, man.

Listen, you got to get me out of here!

I'm going stir crazy with all

this freedom!

I'm smothering here, man!

I've got my own

problems, lady.

I'm sick of living off my seed.

I want to work with my hands.

I got to shake these shackles of anarchy.

Why don't you just leave?!

If I leave, that's a choice, man.

I can't stand any more choices.

You got to break me out, man!

Sneak me into a prison.

I'll smuggle you out

of here if you show me the way

to burning person, to find my crystal.

But I can't go there.

It's too free.

I crave structure.

Well, the effigy at

burning person is the biggest

structure in North America.

I'll get us there by way of

underground railroad.

Deal. Start digging.

That's not the way an

underground railroad works.

We need money for shovels.

Give me some pocket dollars.

I don't even have pockets.

Then go sell some of your seed.

That would be a choice, fascist!

Why don't you sell your seed?!

Ma'am, I'd like to

make some seed money.

Hello? I'd like to peddle my

puddle, ma'am.

Yoo-hoo! I'd like to hawk my loogie.

[Scoffs] We pay by the cup

or by the noseful.

Um, cup, please.

I'm kind of nervous.

I've never plopped my glopper.

Been saving myself for marriage

or at least consent.

Don't worry, it doesn't hurt.

Take these and go into stall 3.

Huh!

I wonder what's inside these

saucy magazines anyway.

Ohh!

Oh, Rubislaw!

I really was backed up.

[Whimpering]

Get off me!

[Whimpering]

Go on!

Get out of here! Scram!

[Panting]

This isn't fetch.

Get lost.

Sorry, I couldn't get any tools.

Cool, dude!

You brought a buddy along for the trip.

Come, buddy.

I'm not bringing that

Johnny-come- lately with us.

Well, he could dig for us.

So, what's so special about that

crystal anyways, brah?

What's that necklace, daddy?

It represents my feelings for you.

Where'd you get it?

What's that necklace, daddy?

I'll give it to you when you

become a [echoing] man.

Well, at least you had a dad.

I never knew mine.

Sometimes I think the structure

I truly crave is the family structure.

Shut it.

We must have connected to an

existing tunnel system.

Maybe this is the original

underground railroad.

[Mumbling]

Dude, there's an old slave

still hiding down here.

That's hard-core, man.

[Mumbling]

He must be 187 years old.

I'm gonna call you 187, 'cause

it's 187 on the mother-loving...

Right, up top?

[Mumbling]

I totally know what you went

through, man.

I was a slave to TV for a while,

and then I was a slave to pop

culture, and I craved the grave.

Total bummage, man.

Can we get going?

Man, I must have wolfed a

mind burrito 'cause I just had a

massive brain fart.

We got to take 187 with us to

burning person!

He said he's never partied before.

What better party than the

ultimate party?!

[Mumbling]

We're gonna go to

burning person, he's gonna get

his dad's crystal, you're gonna

get to freedom, I'm gonna get

the structure I crave. [Whimpers]

What's that, little fella? [Whimpers]

And we're gonna get this

little guy laid.

[Mumbling]

[Whimpers]

[Laughter]

Oh, man, I'm getting in the

bubbler!

Sweet!

Oh, my God, dude, that was so dope!

Burning person rules!

Wait!

Did you touch soap, dude?!

No-o-o!

Dude!

Okay, you find puggler, and I'm

gonna go find the structure.

Man, where's 187?

This guy is slave to the

beats, man!

Get away from me!

Have you seen puggler, the

punk-rock juggler?

He's wearing a top hat.

I think I saw him over there.

Puggler!

Who's puggler?

I'm pester, the punk-rock jester

who lives off his seed.

Puggler?

No, brah, I'm junk, the

juggling punk who lives off his seed.

I'm looking for puggler.

I think he took off, man, to

go to burning person or something.

We're at burning person.

I went to burning person this year?

Such a structure, bro.

This is just what I needed for fulfillage.

This year, we can truly leave

no trace on the playa, with the

de-garbage eco-vaporizer.

Oh, dope!

I want to leave no trace!

What a great

environmentalist.

He went off the grid.

Won't you go off the grid?

Dude! Dude!

I've been looking all over for you!

I intuited you'd be here, 'cause

I know how you crave structure.

There's something I have to tell you.

I'm your father.

I have a dad!

I'm a puggler by blood!

A puggler!

And, mostly, I wanted to give

you this precious heirloom.

It's been in the family for as

long as I can remember right now.

The serpentine crystal!

I can't accept this for

myself, 'cause I hate you, dad!

You're smothering me, man!

Just get off my back!

Give me space, fascist!

[Echoing] No!

[Panting]

Your spunk in the

face of my cruelty has made me

realize that I haven't been a

good father to you.

From now on, every day, I'm

going to tell you about the

birds and the bees.

But, like, the bees are

totally... that butthole.

And now you are a [echoing] man.

Hey, everybody!

Me and 187 are getting hitched!

Never thought that slave

would get tied down.

Hey, everybody, they're

igniting the effigy!

[Panting]

[Crowd cheering]

We're all special!

We're all part of this!

This is more like it!

Burning people!

This is democracy

personified!

Me, me, me!

How do you suppose this

happened anyway?

I think it was arson.

It was my son.

[Scoffs]

Where does this vaporizer stuff

go anyway?

Go, planet, man!

I think I'll make myself at

home, brah.

[Mumbling]

Sorry, brah brah, have to ask

you to bail.

I got here first.

[Echoing] Squatters' rights!

Three potato, not.

It's my squatter's right to life.

[Punk rock plays indistinctly]

Yeah.

[Echoing] Skull!

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