All language subtitles for Two Doors Down s03e01 Burns Supper.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:04,800 There she is! 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:06,880 Eric, it's huge. 3 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,960 Well, what we don't eat tonight we can keep and eat tomorrow. 4 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,800 Huh! YOU can eat tomorrow - one night a year eating 5 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:16,160 the insides of a sheep's quite enough for me, thank you very much. 6 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,360 National dish of Scotland, that is. 7 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,640 You say to anybody in the world, "Name something Scottish," 8 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,800 - and they'll say? - The Proclaimers. 9 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,320 - No. - Heart disease. - No! 10 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:27,960 - Knife crime, heroin, Greggs... - No! 11 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,120 They'll say, "haggis"! 12 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:41,120 SYNC by DakinPEX SUBSCENE 13 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,000 RADIO PLAYS "MAGGIE MAY" BY ROD STEWART 14 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,800 - Hi! - Hi, Beth. Happy Burns Day! 15 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,320 It's no' Burns DAY, Cathy, it's Burns NIGHT. 16 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:56,840 Oh, who gives a fuck? 17 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,680 So, you been out doing a bit of the old haggis hunting, have you, missus? 18 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:01,960 Oh, yes. 19 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,760 Here, listen, some tourists do actually believe that 20 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,520 a haggis is a real wee animal. ERIC LAUGHS 21 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,600 CATHY LAUGHS WEAKLY 22 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,360 DOORBELL CHIMES 23 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,840 Sit yourselves down. 24 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,840 Ah, yes! 25 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,720 - Christine! - Hello, Beth. 26 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:21,240 - Everything all right? - The least said the better. 27 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,120 LAUGHTER 28 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,840 Oh, hi, Christine. 29 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,120 - Hullo. - Sit down. 30 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:37,160 So, eh, how you doing, Christine, all right? 31 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,520 - CHRISTINE SIGHS - I'm OK, Eric. 32 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,720 I'm...OK. 33 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,240 Beth was saying you've been away down seeing Sophie. 34 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,880 - That's right. - Oh, big Sophie, how is she? 35 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:52,560 She is living in council accommodation with a man who 36 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,160 comes down the stairs in the morning in his underpants 37 00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:00,800 and bare feet and watches cartoons with his headphones in. 38 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,600 - Where is it she's moved to again? - North Wales. 39 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,000 Boy, oh, boy, some journey that, eh? 40 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:10,880 Oh, you're tellin' me - seven hours I've been on that Stagecoach. 41 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,400 Oh, my arse was numb - I still cannae feel my right cheek. 42 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,120 Well, look, let's get you a drink. 43 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:20,600 Oh, and how's the baby, Christine, how's wee...baby...? 44 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,800 - Madison. - That's it! Madison. 45 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,680 Col - I told you she was called after our bedroom 46 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,280 furniture from that brochure. 47 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:31,480 She's a wee angel, so she is. 48 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,280 - ALL: - Awww... 49 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:38,520 She's quite heavy-set round the chin and she's got the reflux as well, 50 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:42,480 so, no sooner has she got the bottle doon her than she's spewing it 51 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,520 - back up on top of you but apart fae that... - Aw, bless her. 52 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:49,360 Honest to God, Eric, she is the only thing that kept me going. 53 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:53,280 Well, that and the big bar of Galaxy that 54 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,520 I got for a pound at the service station. 55 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,520 OK - who's for a wee dram? 56 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,360 A wee whisky, well, it would be rude not to on Burns Night. 57 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,560 I'm not a big fan of whisky. 58 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,480 - Oh, what would you like then? - Just a large one with some Diet Coke. 59 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,840 I cannae really take spirits on an empty stomach, Beth. 60 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,200 - Would you like a... - Aye, a wee packet of crisps to go along with it, aye. 61 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:16,000 So what's the drill tonight, then, Beth? 62 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,000 Well, there's haggis, neeps and tatties and shortbread for afters. 63 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,240 Whit, naebody doing a poem or a song? 64 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:25,000 Woo-hoo! Sing-song - Colin is a brilliant singer - 65 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,920 he knows the words to stuff. 66 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,760 Aye, but I don't know any Burns songs. 67 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,000 Yeah, but we won't be doing any of that shit. 68 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,440 Right, here we are. 69 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,000 Walkers prawn cocktail, if you've got them, Beth. 70 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:40,120 We have got a really, really expensive bottle of whisky 71 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,480 that we bought at a distillery up near our time-share, haven't we, Col? 72 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,080 - We have, aye. - That sounds lovely. How old is it? 73 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,720 It's about two weeks ago now, that we bought it, Eric? 74 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,120 OK, shall we have a wee toast? 75 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,760 Aye, that's a good idea! 76 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,000 Woo-oo-oo-f! 77 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,440 THAT is actually not bad. 78 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:04,720 DOORBELL CHIMES 79 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,000 Cheers! 80 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,040 Happy Burns Night, Mrs Baird! 81 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,600 - Hiya, Mum! - Oh, I like that! 82 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,200 Oh, thank you!! I wanted to wear a kilt but he wouldn't let me. 83 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,320 Aw, why not? 84 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,880 Naw, there's no need for a kilt, you're not even Scottish! 85 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,440 I said I was happy not to wear pants under it. 86 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,960 - Come in, come in. - Actually, could I just use your loo? 87 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:30,120 If I had worn a kilt I'd be able to walk straight in there and just go for it, wouldn't I? 88 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,280 IAN LAUGHS NERVOUSLY 89 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:34,320 LAUGHTER 90 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,560 - Hey! - Hey! It's Ian. 91 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:40,160 - Hi, Ian. - All right, Christine - I thought you were away... 92 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,120 It's all right, Beth. 93 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:48,040 I was, Ian, but let's just say I came back slightly earlier than expected. 94 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:51,360 - Right. - We'll draw a line under it. 95 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,320 OK. 96 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:56,960 Do you know they had me sleeping with a cushion off the couch for a pillow? 97 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,080 - Hello, hello, hello! - Hey! - Oh, it's Gordon! 98 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,120 There he is, gay Gordon. 99 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,000 Gay Gordon, Colin! 100 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,240 - Are you going to do us a dance, Gordon? - Dance! Dance! 101 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,440 - Deedle, ee, dee, deedle... - Cathy! 102 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,200 - Yee-ee-ee-ha! - CATHY! 103 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,600 - Hullo, Gordon. - Hello again, Christine. How are you? 104 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,640 I've been in Wales. 105 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,600 You've had your toilet done up, I see, Mrs Baird? 106 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:26,320 Yeah, yeah. Well, new wallpaper and a lick of paint. 107 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:27,600 What's this, Beth? 108 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,400 Oh - have you been doing things in your wee toilet 109 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,200 - and not telling anyone? - The difference is incredible! 110 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,800 What is it? 111 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,480 ERIC: Oh, we redecorated the wee downstairs loo. 112 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,280 Aw, Beth - I liked your toilet. 113 00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:43,480 Well, it did need a bit of a freshen up, didn't it, Eric? 114 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,760 Oh, it did, aye. 115 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:48,400 - COLIN: - I can't think what it was like - I've been in your upstairs 116 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,080 one, at least I think I have. 117 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,760 You have, Colin, remember you were sick in it once 118 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,480 when Beth did the cottage pie with the cheap mince. 119 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,920 So I was! 120 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,320 - Ah, let's get a look at it then. - What? 121 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,320 - Well, I'm needing SOMETHING to cheer me up. - I don't think... 122 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:06,520 Beth, come on, don't be shy, show us your loo. 123 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:09,320 DOOR CREAKS 124 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,200 Oh, that's lovely, Beth. 125 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,280 Oh, yes, I like it, Beth. 126 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:15,720 I can see myself in here quite happy. 127 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,280 Cheap toilet roll, Col. 128 00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,360 So, what did you say you'd had done to it? 129 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,920 Well, new wallpaper, new light shade. 130 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,400 Painted the pipe chase, it was really... 131 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:28,280 It needed painting. Put down a new carpet as well. 132 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:31,520 - Oh very nice, very nice, who did it? - Eric did. 133 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,360 Ah, you should have said, Eric - I'd have come and given you a hand. 134 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,800 Colin's brilliant at DIY - he's got two paint brushes 135 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,320 and I'm going to buy him an axe. 136 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,560 He did very well, he's done a great job. 137 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,280 That wallpaper's running off at an angle there. 138 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:47,720 - What? - And your skirting board could do with another coat. 139 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,280 Same silly wee sink, I see as well. 140 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,320 OK. Everyone seen everything they want? 141 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,800 New wallpaper, fresh paint, same silly wee sink, 142 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,760 oh, but we did get a new toilet roll holder. 143 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,720 - New toilet roll holder? - Yes. - How come... 144 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,640 Eric pulled it off the wall. Right, everyone back through please. 145 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,000 Lovely... 146 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,680 So, is this your first time at a Burns Supper then, is it, Gordon? 147 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,360 - Yeah. - I think that deserves a kiss. 148 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,040 You've never been to a Burns Supper, Gordon? 149 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,520 Nope. 150 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,520 Aw, you don't know what you're missing. 151 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,000 Aw, you'll love it - you'll absolutely love it. 152 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,800 - I'm really enjoying it so far. - You enjoy yourself, Gordon. 153 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,840 You deserve to enjoy yourself and to be happy. 154 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,880 Forever. 155 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,080 Him too. 156 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,800 Wait till later, wait 'til it gets going - 157 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,320 because there's nothing like a Burns Supper in full swing. 158 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:49,840 - What happens? - Everyone gets totally fucked. 159 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:53,000 Obviously, though, this is just a stupid wee thing in a house, 160 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,320 but see some of the properly organised ones that they have... 161 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:59,320 - They are unbelievable, Gordon! - Really? 162 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:03,160 We went to this one in Edinburgh Castle, there was bagpipes, there 163 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:07,440 was barrel loads of malt whisky, log fires burning, remember it, Cathy? 164 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,120 - Erm? - Remember! 165 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:13,320 We went back to that hotel with the bath in the middle of the room? 166 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,240 No. 167 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:20,080 Aw, no, right enough - that's when me and Yvonne were together. 168 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,480 But honestly, Gordon, what a night that was. 169 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,560 It was absolutely tremendous! 170 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,960 It's a shame Christine's trip down to see Sophie didn't go so well. 171 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:32,960 Aye, who could have predicted that, eh? 172 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,040 That is a long bus journey too. 173 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,600 Certainly for the poor bastard sat next to her. 174 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,920 Eric! Christine's hardly seen that baby since it was born. 175 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,520 Aye, right enough. OK, we all done? 176 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,440 - Yep. - Good. 177 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,040 RADIO PLAYS "SAY WHAT YOU WANT" BY TEXAS 178 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,440 It's nice that Ian's brought Gordon, isn't it? 179 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,040 Give him a wee taste of the old Scottish traditions. 180 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,960 - CHRISTINE: - Beth - I've spilt this fucking whisky down the arm of your chair. 181 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,840 Robert Burns is basically like a national 182 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,760 hero in Scotland, Gordon, isn't he, Cath? 183 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:06,880 Yes. 184 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:12,240 Cos as well as being a poet, he's sort of a...a romantic hero. 185 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,040 - He was a heart-throb in his day, wasn't he? - Was he? 186 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,800 Oh, aye, all the experts, all the historians, they all agree, 187 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:22,600 he rode just about every lassie he met. 188 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,680 - I'm sweating like mad with this on. - Take your jacket off. 189 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:29,440 Wish I had worn a kilt now. 190 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,360 Have you got a kilt yourself, Gordon? 191 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:32,560 No. 192 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:34,880 - I've got three. - Have you? - Aye. 193 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,600 I've got a really, really, short tartan skirt that 194 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,240 I sometimes wear, Gordon. 195 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,720 Mine cost a fortune, made to measure, 196 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,040 none of your off the peg tourist shite. 197 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,280 - What tartan are they? - Don't know. 198 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,120 But see that Burns Supper I was tellin' ye aboot, they were 199 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,000 all in kilts - see when the dancing started, God, 200 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,480 Yvonne's eyes were just about popping oot her head! 201 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,920 - Yes, all right, Colin. - What? 202 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,320 - Yvonne, Yvonne, Yvonne, Yvonne... - I'm only just... 203 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,760 Yeah, we could all be sitting here banging on about our exes, Colin. 204 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:07,360 I mean Ian's not sitting here talking about Jaz, is he? 205 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:11,040 "Oh, Jaz this, Jaz that, Jaz was so lovely, he was so lovely..." 206 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,600 He was so much better-looking than Gordon, he had 207 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,880 nicer eyes, better teeth, bigger bulge. 208 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,680 But he's not, is he? 209 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:22,520 Ian - do you ever hear fae Jaz? 210 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,600 I'm only just telling him about the Burns Supper we went to. 211 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:29,280 - He just happened to mention her, Cathy. - Oh... 212 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,080 - OK, everyone? - No, we're not! 213 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,920 Colin is obsessed with his ex-girlfriend. 214 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:50,040 - Excuse me? - Beth - did you ever notice Jaz's willy? 215 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,480 - What? - Look, can we just leave Jaz's willy out of this? 216 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:57,160 I'm fine with it, my ex was quite well hung as well, Mrs Baird. 217 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,840 Look, I don't know what's going on in here 218 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,880 but can we just draw a line under it? 219 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:07,960 Well, you wouldn't be saying that if Eric was going on about one of his exes in front of you. 220 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,000 - What? - Just saying. 221 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,960 Beth, was Eric not involved with a woman that 222 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,680 worked on the railways before he met you? 223 00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:19,280 Eric, what was the name of that woman that you used to go 224 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,080 - with before you met Beth? - Sorry? 225 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,280 You said she had awful wirey hair, Beth. 226 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:27,720 - Do we really have to do this? - Linda, that was it. 227 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,680 - You're talking years ago. - How long, Eric? 228 00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:34,720 Oh, well, it was certainly before they electrified the line out to Helensburgh. 229 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,160 I'm sure it was Linda. Was it? 230 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:40,360 I don't know - I mean I wasn't really serious with 231 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:43,720 anybody before I met Beth, I went out with a few people. 232 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,360 Did you? 233 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,320 Well, not loads. 234 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:48,840 - COLIN: - I always said to Cathy, 235 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:52,880 I bet when you were younger, you had a nose for it. 236 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:57,680 Oh, aye, I can just see him - buying women fish suppers 237 00:11:57,680 --> 00:12:00,640 and then trying to corner them in bus shelters. 238 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:04,000 Excuse me! I didn't do anything that everybody else wisnae doing. 239 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,960 Look, everybody's got exes, have we not? 240 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,520 What's important is who we're with now, the past is the past 241 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,560 - and today's today. - Hear, hear. 242 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:17,480 - BETH: - Good idea. Cheers, everyone, happy Burns Night. 243 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,800 - Happy Burns Night! - ALL: - Burns Night. 244 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,640 Burns Night! 245 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:28,640 Here, Gordon, what's that tartan that you're wearing? 246 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,800 - It's McIntyre. - Aw, that was Yvonne's surname. 247 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,960 Oh, God! 248 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,720 How long does it say for Gordon's vegetarian one? 249 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:43,160 It's, eh, 20 minutes. 250 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,640 - You all right, Cathy? - I'm fine. 251 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,520 All right if I use your lovely new toilet, is it, missus? 252 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,760 Of course, Cathy. 253 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:57,200 RADIO PLAYS "IN A BIG COUNTRY" BY BIG COUNTRY 254 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,800 - So, are you a haggis man yourself, Ian? - I'll take a bit. 255 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,360 - Not a massive fan. - I tell you what, 256 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:09,280 it's good for the environment cos it's using up all the bits 257 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,440 of an animal that would normally end up going into an incinerator. 258 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,000 Or to feed other animals. 259 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,840 It's the circle of life, Ian. 260 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,040 How did your daughter meet her new partner? 261 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,280 Online, Gordon. Which I am not keen on - 262 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,640 I mean how do you know that somebody is 263 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:29,720 who they say they are on the internet? 264 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:33,840 True. He must have been really keen if he drove all the way up from Wales to meet her. 265 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:36,640 Well, he'd not seen a photo. 266 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:40,360 But, yes, up he came, took her for a Chinese meal 267 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,840 and within three days, she had her bags packed and her 268 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:48,320 and wee Madison were halfway down the M6 in the back of a Toyota. 269 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,480 What a shame. 270 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:55,920 Still, if that's what she wants, who am I to stand in her way? 271 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,400 Yes, there have been some harsh words 272 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,480 but I wish them well, 273 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:02,600 I really do. 274 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:06,200 - They can always come up and visit? - She can, he can get to fuck. 275 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,040 TOILET FLUSHES 276 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,960 Oh, Beth, it really is lovely in there. 277 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,040 Oh, thank you, Cathy. 278 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:20,520 You should be so proud of what you've done in that toilet, Eric. 279 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,240 Right. 280 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,840 RADIO PLAYS "LITTLE BIRD" BY ANNIE LENNOX 281 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,400 So, potatoes OK, are they, missus? 282 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,680 Yes, fine. 283 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,800 And haggis? Boiling away too? 284 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,240 Uh-huh. 285 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:41,040 And the, orange veg? The...the... 286 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,240 - Turnip. - Turnip, yeah, that's OK too? 287 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,480 - Yes, all fine. - Eric, would you..? 288 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,280 Mm? 289 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:50,880 Would you leave Beth and I alone with the haggis for a minute, please? 290 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,200 Er, aye, sure. 291 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:56,680 Why don't you go and put the napkins out? 292 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,840 Put the napkins out, Eric, give people something to spit into. 293 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,240 So, how long you been in Scotland then, Gordon? 294 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,920 - Just under a year. - You settling in all right, are you? 295 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,360 Yeah, yeah. People have been brilliant 296 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,400 but I still find the accent a bit tricky, sometimes. 297 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,440 Och, yer baws, it is! 298 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,240 She disagrees. 299 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:18,320 ERIC: Scotland's renowned as being one of the most welcoming 300 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,120 - countries in the world for foreigners to come to. - That's true, Eric. 301 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:25,000 - Very few get attacked for no reason. - I love it here, I really do. 302 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,600 Aw, that's lovely. 303 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,640 So, Ian - you and Jaz definitely finished then? 304 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,440 - Look at this. - Who's that? 305 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,240 THAT is Yvonne. 306 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,800 Who's Yvonne? 307 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:43,560 That's Colin's ex - that's the one he's been going on about earlier. 308 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:47,520 - Oh, Cathy. - I mean, look at the tits, they're implants. 309 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:50,800 And the pout there, oh, she's had her lips done an' all. 310 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,280 And the teeth - I mean, they're quite good, actually, 311 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,320 I wonder where she got them done. 312 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:00,600 Oh, look, oh, look - the holiday shot. Oh, look, there 313 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:05,240 she is on the balcony, look at me, glass of wine, I'm in the Bahamas. 314 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:09,040 Are you fuck, love - you're on an all-inclusive cock hunt in Corfu. 315 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,920 Cathy, this is NOT a good idea. 316 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:15,000 Oh, my God, oh, my God, look at what she's posted! 317 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:19,960 "Happy Burns Night, everyone, should auld acquaintance be forgot - 318 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,440 "big shout-out to friends old and new". 319 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,120 Well, we know who that's aimed at, don't we?! 320 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,440 - Right, you are going to put an end to this right now. - What? 321 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,520 You and Yvonne, I don't want you being in contact with her. 322 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,360 I haven't spoken to her in years. 323 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,800 Oh, really? Then how do you explain this? 324 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:47,160 - Christ, she's not aged at all. - She's a slut! 325 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:51,040 - Hey, hey, hey. - Oh, shut up, Eric, excited about haggis. 326 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:54,440 Look, I just mentioned Yvonne because I was telling Gordon about the Burns Supper. 327 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,560 Right, OK, well, 328 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,280 I want you to tell her that she is never to contact you ever again. 329 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,680 - Eh? - Am I being unreasonable, Beth? 330 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,080 - Well... - Thank you. 331 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,360 You tell her that all lines of communication between her 332 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,000 and you are now officially closed. 333 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,280 OK, OK, OK. 334 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,920 - How am I meant to do that? - Send her a message on Facebook. 335 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,560 No, don't, don't! No more secret messages. 336 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,720 - Phone her! - I've not got her number. 337 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:22,000 - Well, then, get her to phone you! - What?! - Oh, shush! 338 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:26,520 OK, send her a message on Facebook, give her your number, 339 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,040 tell her to phone you and when she does, 340 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,280 tell her that she's never to contact you ever again. OK? 341 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,480 OK. 342 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,160 NOW! 343 00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:41,960 - This happens a lot, Gordon. - Does it? 344 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,360 Aye, she goes fucking cuckoo with the drink. 345 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:50,840 Well, anyway... 346 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,640 Is it not about time we had a poem or a song or something? 347 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,040 - Oh, I've got one. - What is it? 348 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,000 It's one about wild oats. 349 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:00,320 - No, no, no, we'll not have that. - I could do Tam o' Shanter. 350 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,320 Oh, Eric, that goes on forever. 351 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:05,920 Did you know Sophie won a prize at the school for doing a Burns poem. 352 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,160 GORDON: Did she, Christine? 353 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,920 Or was that for her project about the Egyptians? 354 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:16,480 Eric, was Robert Burns by any chance part-Egyptian? 355 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:20,520 - No. - No. I didn't think so. 356 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,520 GORDON: I could do a song. It's not Robert Burns, though. 357 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,360 But it is Scottish. 358 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:30,760 - Go on, Gordon, you sing! - WHISPERS: - Is he shit, Ian? 359 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,800 Is it Danny Boy? 360 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,760 Oh, remember Eric sung that at your father's funeral, Beth? 361 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,360 That was a terrific night. 362 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,240 OK, OK, OK. 363 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,560 Shhh... 364 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,560 HE HUMS INTRO FAINTLY 365 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:51,280 When I wake up, well, I know I'm gonna be 366 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,120 I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you 367 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:58,520 When I go out, yeah, I know I'm gonna be 368 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,760 I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you 369 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:06,720 - If I get drunk... - Yes! - Well, I know I'm gonna be 370 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:10,560 I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you 371 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,480 ? And if I...haver... ? THEY LAUGH 372 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:18,040 Yeah, I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you 373 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:22,920 ALL: But I would walk 500 miles 374 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:26,840 And I would walk 500 more 375 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:31,720 Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles 376 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,560 To fall down at your door 377 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,720 Da, da, da, da Da, da, da, da 378 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,680 - Da, da, da, da - Da, da, da, da 379 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,080 Da, da, da, dun, diddle, un, diddle, un, diddle, uh, da, da 380 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,360 - Da, da, da, da - Da, da, da, da 381 00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,560 - Da, da, da, da - Da, da, da, da 382 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,720 ? Da, da, da, dun, diddle, un, diddle, un, diddle, uh, da, da. ? 383 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,440 - THEY CHEER - Gordon! 384 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:56,880 Oh, do you remember the two of them with the specs, eh? 385 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,960 I mean what's the matter with them? 386 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:02,480 All that money and they cannae afford contact lenses! 387 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,480 They're famous all over the world, Craig and Charlie. 388 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,360 - Craig and Charlie who? - The Proclaimers. 389 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:10,840 - Oh, aye. - Same as Robert Burns. 390 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,120 In fact, this is what Burns Night's all about, isn't it? 391 00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:17,280 Celebrating Scotland's contribution to the world, isn't that right, Eric? 392 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:18,520 Aye, that's right. 393 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,480 Just think about it - see, at this very moment, 394 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:25,160 there'll be Scottish people in every town 395 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,360 and every country 396 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,680 and every corner of the globe - 397 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,120 getting fucking hammered. 398 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,320 - BETH: - OK, folks, nearly time for the haggis. Eric... 399 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,560 Ooh, right. THEY CHEER 400 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,280 Up to the table! 401 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,880 Ooh, thanks, Gordon, son. 402 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,960 Oh, you're a nice boy. 403 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,760 He's good fun, isn't he, Ian? 404 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,480 - Aye, aye, he is. - Aw, thanks. 405 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,800 I tell you what, Jaz would never have got up 406 00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,840 and made a fool of himself like that. 407 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:05,160 Beth - no haggis for me. And...no potatoes. 408 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,760 And, em, no, em... Argh! Turnip! 409 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,960 - So, nothing at all? - No, I'm having another whisky. 410 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,160 God, we're going to have loads. 411 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,480 Everybody else'll take a good helping. 412 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:22,520 Eh, Dad, just potato and turnip for me, I don't really fancy any haggis. 413 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:26,440 RADIO PLAYS "A GIRL LIKE YOU" BY EDWYN COLLINS 414 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,600 - You're a vegetarian are you, Gordon? - Yeah. 415 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:36,160 Cos you feel sorry for animals or do you just like the attention? 416 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,680 Oh, there's the mashed tatties there. 417 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,400 Eh, Christine, get a bit of the old mashed tattie aboard ye, eh? 418 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,720 Tatties means potatoes, Gordon, 419 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:50,040 and mashed is...all mashed up. 420 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:53,040 - Dad, did you get Gordon his veggie one? - Yep, just coming. 421 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:56,040 I dread to think what's in that, eh? 422 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,840 - It cannae be any worse than a real one. - What is it that's in haggis? 423 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:02,640 - Everything. - It's all the livers and kidneys and stuff, is it not? 424 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,720 No, I'll tell you what's in it - in a proper one you've heart, lung, 425 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,760 and liver all minced up with onion and oatmeal 426 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,840 but you've got to soak the oatmeal in blood. 427 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,240 And then it gets stuffed inside the lining of a sheep's stomach 428 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:17,960 and boiled. 429 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:23,000 - Right. - You'll no' try even a wee bit, Gordon, no? 430 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,320 OK, turnip. 431 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,040 - ALL: - Woo! - Right, are we all ready? 432 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,560 - ALL: - Yes!! - Hang on, hang on. 433 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:34,760 - Everybody got everything they need? - Aye, oh, aye. - Yes, indeed. 434 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:38,520 - OK, ready now, Eric. - Here she comes! 435 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:40,320 Oh, here she comes! 436 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,920 Haggis! Haggis! Haggis! 437 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,920 THEY CHEER 438 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,600 - Take a look at that! - It's massive. 439 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,120 - Oh, there's its wee baby beside it. - That's the veggie one. 440 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:58,960 Oh, that is tremendous, a real traditional Scottish haggis. 441 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,000 - Where d'you get it, Beth? - Aldi's. 442 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,000 Right, come on, Eric, get it dished out, I'm starving. 443 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,240 Hang about, hang about. 444 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,520 You've got to do the Address to the Haggis first. 445 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,320 - Oh, no, not the whole thing, Eric. - Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. 446 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,800 This is the bit where we talk to the haggis prior to 447 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:15,360 stabbing it with a knife, Gordon. 448 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:17,240 ERIC CLEARS THROAT 449 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:23,720 Fair fa', your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin'-race. 450 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,160 - What's he saying? - Just skip to the middle. - What? 451 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,880 - We don't need to hear the whole thing. - We're ready for our dinner, Eric! 452 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,720 Awright, awright. 453 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:37,720 His knife see rustic Labour dight, An' cut you up wi' ready slight... 454 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:41,720 - Ho-ho! - Look at that, eh, Gordon! 455 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,800 That is so gross. 456 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:47,560 Trenchin' your gushing entrails bright, Like ony ditch; 457 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:51,760 And then, O what a glorious sight, 458 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,520 Warm-reekin', rich! 459 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,320 Right, right, OK that'll do us. Come on, plate it up. 460 00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,080 Here we are, there we are, Eric. 461 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,360 Cheers Gordon, thanks, son. 462 00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:11,360 PHONE RINGS 463 00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:15,440 - Who is it? Is it her? - Aye. Will I call her back? 464 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,040 - No, speak to her now. - We're just getting our dinner. 465 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,960 Answer it. 466 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:23,440 Ian, pass us over the potatoes over, will ye? 467 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,680 A bit o' gravy as well... 468 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,640 Hello? 469 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:34,040 Hi, hi, Yvonne. How you doing? Aye, long time no speak. 470 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,520 How's things? Oh, are you? 471 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,120 Oh, that's smashing, 472 00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:43,840 No, I remember you saying that you'd always wanted them done. 473 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:49,360 Look, hen, what it is, Yvonne, I mean I was really just dropping you 474 00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:52,600 a line to say, em... 475 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,840 Don't ever contact me again. 476 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,760 DON'T EVER CONTACT ME AGAIN. 477 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,640 You... You are a... 478 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,920 You are a fake-titted slut. 479 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,880 OK? Right, bye, now. Bye, bye. 480 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,840 PHONE BEEPS OFF 481 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,480 Actually, Beth, I will have something to eat. 482 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,720 I'll just have some potato, though, none of the other shit. 483 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:37,520 Not bad, Eric, not bad at all. 484 00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:43,160 GORDON: So, em, will your daughter be having a Burns Supper tonight? 485 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,960 I don't know. 486 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,800 - I don't know and I don't care. - Oh, Christine. 487 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:50,560 GORDON: It's a shame to think of her missing out. 488 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:53,040 ERIC: Do you not think you should give her a wee phone, Christine? 489 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:54,840 just sort all this out? 490 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:56,440 - I certainly will not. - GORDON: Or a text? 491 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,800 - Just something tae let her know you're thinking about her. - Aye, a wee peace offering. 492 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,760 GORDON: If she's in Wales, she might not be able to get haggis there. 493 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:10,400 - You could send her some. - Eh? - That's a good idea, you could send Sophie some of this haggis. 494 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,920 - Does she like haggis? - Oh, yes. 495 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,360 She enjoys all meat-based products, Beth. 496 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:19,480 - COLIN: - Well, why don't you send her a bit? 497 00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:23,800 I mean, think about it. Haggis gets exported all over the world. I mean, surely, 498 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,400 we could manage to get a wee bit of this to North Wales, eh, Beth? 499 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,720 - BETH: - Well, it's a lovely thought. 500 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,200 Beth, there's loads of it - none of us want it. 501 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,040 There's plenty I can give her here. 502 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,120 She can have some of mine. 503 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:45,000 Right. Great. 504 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,200 Right. 505 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:47,880 Fire it in. 506 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,880 - Put a wee bit of turnip in as well. - Mm-hm. 507 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:57,840 Aye, a bit of potato - Ian, some of your mash to send to Sophie. 508 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:01,280 There you go. 509 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,560 That's it - right, zip it up, Cath. 510 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:08,320 Oh, listen, she'll be slaverin' when she opens the jiffy bag and sees this. 511 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,560 That's lovely. 512 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:19,200 I'm getting quite emotional seeing it all in the bag there. 513 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,280 Do you know, this tastes a bit funny. 514 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,160 - What d'you mean? - Well it's sort of crumbly. 515 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,280 A wee bit dry. Yours? 516 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,040 Fine. 517 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,240 Naw, it's definitely... 518 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,880 - BETH: - Gordon. - Mmm? 519 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:51,160 I think you might have the wrong plate there. 520 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,440 Oh, it's all right, Gordon, it's only a wee bit of, 521 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,200 - what did you say was in it again? - Sheep's guts. 522 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,880 DOOR SLAMS, GORDON RETCHES 523 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,240 Your lovely new toilet, Beth. 524 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:21,040 MUSIC: I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers 525 00:28:21,090 --> 00:28:25,640 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 42648

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.