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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,440 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,960 - ON TV: - 'Springwatch starts on Sunday, 23rd May on BBC Two.' 3 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:09,360 Aw, for.. 4 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:14,720 Hello? 5 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:17,320 - 'Hi, it's me.' - Oh, hello, me(!) 6 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:19,720 Listen, what about a short-sleeved shirt? 7 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,960 - What about it? - For your birthday! 8 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,040 How? Can you not afford one with long sleeves? 9 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,240 Eric, you need a short-sleeved shirt. 10 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:28,560 'Look, Beth, I told you - you don't have to bother.' 11 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,160 I don't want anything. 12 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:33,440 - Oh, they've got some nice linen ones. - I've got a linen shirt! 13 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:37,280 - What? That stripy one? - 'Uh-huh.' - No, that is horrendous! 14 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,480 - What's wrong with it? - You look like Jocky Wilson on safari! 15 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:42,560 Listen, I told you! 16 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,880 - I don't want anything! - Or a fleece! 17 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,320 - I don't... - 'Oh, or a body warmer?' 18 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,520 They've got reversible body warmers! 19 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,960 - And what am I going to do with one of them?! - Um, turn it inside out? 20 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,360 'Honestly, Beth, you don't need to worry. It's fine.' 21 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,280 The best present you can get me is 22 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:00,040 a bit of bloody peace and quiet - that'll do me! 23 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,720 I don't know why I bother, honestly! See you later. 24 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:06,400 Aye, see you later. No hurry. Take your time. 25 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,320 Ah... 26 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,960 - ON TV: - '..Eggheads in 45 minutes.' 27 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,320 Oh, dear God! - 'But before that, 28 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,440 'another game of Pointless Celebrities.' 29 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:26,480 We've come to talk to you about the role of religion in your life. 30 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:27,880 Ha-ha! 31 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,360 It's funny you should say that. 32 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:31,960 I was just saying a wee prayer to myself on the way to the door. 33 00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:33,280 Ha-ha! 34 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,600 (Unfortunately, it wisnae answered.) 35 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,360 Aw, are we interrupting you having your dinner? 36 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,280 - Well... - What are you having? 37 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:02,400 - Aw, just a shepherd's pie thing. - Aw, gads! 38 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,360 - I've no' long just had mine, in't that right, Cath? - Aye. 39 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:07,480 - Cooked him a steak. - She did. 40 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,760 - Ribeye! - It was beautiful! 41 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,360 Wee pool of blood round it. 42 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,080 I says to Catherine, she put it down, 43 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,000 "A good vet could get that back on its feet." 44 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,920 - Where's Beth? - Er, she's at the shops. 45 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,960 Aw, late-night shopping! 46 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,400 Why did she not say? I could've gone with her! 47 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,360 - Eric... 48 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:30,120 - What's this? - Now, I know it's not till tomorrow, but that's from us. 49 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,360 - Happy birthday, Eric! - Oh. 50 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,000 - Oh? - Oh, sorry. - Ha-ha! 51 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,960 Och, you didn't need to, honestly! 52 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,800 We wanted to! 53 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,040 Well, SHE did. I'd forgotten all about it. 54 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:42,840 I always remember your birthday, Eric. 55 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,560 It's exactly nine days before the date we had the Alsatians put down. 56 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,000 Now, I know we usually get together on your birthday, 57 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,360 but this year, unfortunately, we can't. 58 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,000 Aw, that's a shame! 59 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,920 - We're away sailing tomorrow, aren't we, Col? - Sailing! 60 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:57,480 That's right. 61 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:58,880 In a boat. 62 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,080 On the sea! 63 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,160 On a boat. On the sea. 64 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:03,360 Oh, right, aye. 65 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:06,480 Well, it's very kind, but you shouldn't have bothered, honestly. 66 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,040 - Do you no want to see what it is?! - I kind of know what it is. 67 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,200 But do you now? 68 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,240 Could be anything in there! 69 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,400 - Let's have a look. 70 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,000 - What is it? 71 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,400 What's in the bag? Here, let me look. 72 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,720 Oh... 73 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,480 A beautiful bottle of wine. 74 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,560 Now, you'll enjoy that. 75 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,840 It's...it's kind of fruity, but it's no' too fruity. 76 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:37,000 It's smoky, but no' too smoky and it's woody, but... 77 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,120 Well, anyway, a glass of that, along with a tin of macaroni, 78 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,560 it's beautiful. 79 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,680 - Actually, I'm not drinking at the moment. - You...? 80 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,400 - Say again? 81 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,400 - I'm off the drink. - You're not drinking? - No. 82 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,640 - You're not drinking ANYTHING? - No. - Not even a beer in the morning? 83 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,520 There's more calories in booze than there is in food. 84 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,280 You're not drinking ANYTHING? 85 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,840 My doctor said to try it. 86 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:00,720 I've lost three pounds already. 87 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:02,840 Really?! 88 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,560 And here's us bringing you a bottle of wine! Dear me! 89 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:09,360 Well, never mind. I mean, you can keep it for a special occasion, 90 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,800 - like a...like a celebration, can't he, Cath? - Aye. 91 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,360 Like when he starts drinking again. 92 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,760 Here, you get it, Eric. We'll sit down. 93 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:23,560 - Hiya, Dad. - Oh, it's you! 94 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,160 - Hello, Mr Baird! - Aye. 95 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,000 - We just came to drop this off. - Oh, right. 96 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,680 Oh, look who it is! 97 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:32,640 Hiya, Ian! Mwah! Hiya, Jaz! Mwah! 98 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:36,520 - Jaz, have you had your teeth whitened? - Er... 99 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,640 Come on! Come on through! 100 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,760 - Choo-choo! - I... 101 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:46,440 Aw, Jaz, you're so cuddly! Look at the two of you! 102 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,200 Two cuddly little gay things! 103 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,280 - We're not interrupting your dinner, are we? - No, no, you're all right. 104 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,800 Her mince is awfy salty. 105 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,360 Do you two want something to drink? 106 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,240 - You got a beer? - No. I've no got any beers. 107 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,920 - Aw, of course - you're off it. - Are you not drinking, Mr Baird? 108 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,280 - Not at the moment. - You've got wine, Eric! 109 00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:08,040 - Wanting a wee glass of wine, Ian? - Aye, I'll take a glass of wine. 110 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,960 - Jaz? - No, I'm driving. - Are you sure? I've got some peppermints in my bag. 111 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,400 How many days has it been now, Mr Baird? 112 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,880 I've got an uncle that's in AA. He's doing really well. 113 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,640 He's not wet the bed in three years. 114 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:23,120 - Er, no, I'm just doing it to lose a bit of weight. - Course you are. 115 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,840 Go and get a bottle opener, Eric. 116 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:27,080 My liver thinks my throat's been cut. 117 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:35,080 Thanks, driver. As I say, a sad, sad day, but a lovely buffet. 118 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,320 In fact, if you'll take a tip from me, 119 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,920 you'll get yersel back down there. 120 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:43,040 There's going to be a lot of folk wanting taxis. 121 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,480 Maybe put some plastic doon in the back. 122 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,520 Single malts on top of a lot of pan bread, know what I mean? 123 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,760 - Right, Mum, come on. - Right you are, driver! 124 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,520 Right you are. 125 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:57,600 In life and death, O Lord 126 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:03,640 ? Abide with me. ? 127 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,480 What a lovely day! 128 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,240 That service was heartbreaking! 129 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:13,400 Did you see her on my left roaring and greeting into the hanky? 130 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,280 She seemed to settle quite quick 131 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:18,760 - when they pulled the foil aff that buffet, eh? - Aw, come on! 132 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,280 I'm getting gooseberries aff of that 133 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,920 and sort of vanilla tones, are you, Cath? 134 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:29,880 - Ah! Oh, yeah. - What about you, Ian? - It's all right, yeah, quite nice. 135 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,120 Eric, how's yours? 136 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:35,800 - Fizzy! - Did you I tell you - I gave up the drink once? 137 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,840 - Did you? - Aye. I felt great. - What made you start again? 138 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,520 I met Cathy. 139 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,600 - Ha-ha-ha! - Ha-ha(!) 140 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,840 I always said that she had money. Apparently, that nephew of hers 141 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:52,320 - was round her like a sandfly. - Mum, please! - Heartless bastard! 142 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,640 And I will tell him that to his face when I'm down there tomorrow 143 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:58,920 picking up that gravy boat the sister promised me. 144 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,360 What time is it? 145 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,360 It's still early! 146 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,760 - Why don't we go and say a quick hello to Beth? - Aw, no! 147 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,720 Oh, she'll be desperate to see 148 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,440 that selfie you took of me with the hearse. Come on! 149 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,000 Are you sure you're not wanting a wee dribble, Jaz, yeah? 150 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,840 No, I can't. Honestly, I'm driving. 151 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,960 - Aw, get a taxi! - Och, leave him, Cath! 152 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:24,120 He can get a bit of Eric's Fanta. I tell you - they're like hawks, 153 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,920 - these police, when it comes to drink-driving. - Oh, they are. 154 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,160 I got stopped and breathalysed last year, 155 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,960 on the way back from the airport! 156 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,120 - Remember, when we'd been in Florida? - I remember. - Luckily, 157 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:38,960 I'd been refused alcohol on the plane, so I was just under. Phew! 158 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:41,960 Oh! 159 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:50,360 - Hello, Eric. - Christ, is it Halloween? Ha-ha! 160 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,120 We've been to a funeral, Eric. 161 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:55,040 - Oh, I'm sorry. - It's all right. 162 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,800 - It was a very emotional day, wasn't it, Sophie? - Yup. 163 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:02,360 - Still, it was her time. - Was it someone very close? 164 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,480 Aye, it was a cousin of my mother's. 165 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:07,040 The pair of them were like that, so they were! 166 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,520 So, I says to Sophie, "This is not going to be easy, 167 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:13,880 "but you and me are going to get down there to represent the family 168 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,000 "and pay our respects to Irene." 169 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,520 Isobel! 170 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,840 Isobel. Is Beth in, no? 171 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,680 - Er, no. No, she's out. - It's all right, I'll just let myself in. 172 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:29,480 Oh, you've got a houseful. If I'd have known that... 173 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,320 Well, I'd probably still have come across. Ha-ha! 174 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:35,840 Hello, everybody. 175 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:39,840 - Have you been to a funeral, Christine? - Yes, I have indeed. 176 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,560 Aw, has someone died? 177 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:45,080 No, we bury folk alive here in Scotland, don't you know(?) 178 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:46,520 Whose was it? 179 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,160 - SOPHIE: - Och, some woman my gran knew. It was a nightmare! 180 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,360 I've been there since 10 o'clock this morning! 181 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:55,480 A sad day, Cathy. Sophie, where's that order of service 182 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:59,320 till I talk Cathy through it? Full Latin mass, Cathy. 183 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,160 My arse was fucking numb! 184 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,600 Cath, a wee top-up? 185 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:09,080 - Eric? - Er, no, no, I'm fine with the orange. 186 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,800 Aw, what's the matter with you? 187 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,520 - He's on the wagon. - Why are you on the wagon, Eric? 188 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,440 I just decided to lay off it for a while. 189 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,200 My uncle was always trying to stop, but he couldn't control it. 190 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,440 Aw, well. If it's making you fat, 191 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,880 and making you spit when you talk, why not? 192 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,120 I've said for years that you've had a problem. 193 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:28,320 - I don't have a problem! - Honestly, that's exactly what he used to say. 194 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,760 - Oh! - How come you're having to stop, then? 195 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:32,480 I'm just taking a break from it! 196 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,400 - Oh? How long are you taking a break from it for? - I don't know! 197 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,560 - You'll have one tomorrow, though? - Probably a wee one. 198 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:40,880 That's no' much of a break, that! 199 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,080 Well, that's the end of that! 200 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,440 - Open another one. - Aye! You get anything else, Eric? 201 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,920 - ERIC SIGHS - Oh, here, Eric! 202 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,640 Take that out the road, will you? It's giving me the boak! 203 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,280 Here, I didnae know there was food on the go. 204 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,720 Mind you, we had quite a bit of that buffet. Ha-ha! 205 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,480 I'll maybe take some crisps or something, Eric? 206 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,720 What about you, Sophie? You want a roll? 207 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,840 - No, thanks. - No, she's fine. 208 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,360 But I'll take one, with cheese. 209 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:08,720 Uh-huh. 210 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:09,760 No, ham. 211 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,560 No, cheese AND ham! 212 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,400 Oh? I see someone's enjoying themselves. 213 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,880 Aye! Well, it's no' me! 214 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,800 - I thought you were having a quiet night? - I was! 215 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:30,760 - CHRISTINE: - Where's my roll? - COLIN: 216 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:34,160 Quiche, baby chicken satay on skewers, 217 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,800 sausage rolls, all to the left. 218 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:40,280 Then your sub rolls with tuna mayonnaise, roast beef 219 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:45,440 and horseradish, egg and onion, all to the right, wasn't it, Sophie? 220 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,640 I'm just going to go to the toilet. 221 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,440 She's taking it awfy sore. 222 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,920 - She's hardly said a word all day, poor thing! - Aw! 223 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,680 - Were they quite close? - Who? 224 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:59,240 - Hi, Sophie! - Hi, Mrs Baird. Is it OK if I use your toilet? 225 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,040 - Of course, on you go. - How great thou art! 226 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,880 ? How great thou art! ? 227 00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:12,320 - Aw! There she is! - Hiya, Beth! 228 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,520 Beth, you'll never guess who got planted the day! 229 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,320 Oh, Beth, show us what you got! 230 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,880 Hey, you, ya bandit, wind your neck in! 231 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,680 - I - was talking to her! 232 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:24,960 I'll give you a clue - it's not Pat fie across the back. 233 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,520 She's still with us. Mind you, going by the looks of her, 234 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:32,440 I think I'd better keep this frock to the front of my wardrobe. 235 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,760 - So who was it? - Isobel! 236 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,800 - Who's Isobel? - A cousin of my mother's! 237 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,480 Well, when I say cousin... 238 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:44,000 not really her cousin, more sort of bingo buddies. 239 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:51,160 So, I said to Sophie, "This is our chance to say our goodbyes 240 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,040 "and to give Irene the respect that she deserves." 241 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,520 - Isobel! - Isobel, that's right. 242 00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:00,440 - Colin? - Oh, hang on, let me finish the decent stuff first. 243 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,200 Mmm! 244 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,320 Right, fire it in. 245 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,160 Ooft! 246 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,440 Reminds me, I'll need to be getting diesel for the lawnmower. Ha-ha! 247 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,440 Oh, wow! 248 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:18,200 - Wow-ee! - Och, it's just a wee thing. 249 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,640 I had no idea what to get you! You're a nightmare to buy for! 250 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,680 I'm a grown man, I'm no' needing bloody birthday presents! 251 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:29,120 - An electronic photo frame! - Oh, what's this for? 252 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,800 - It's Eric's birthday. - When? Today? 253 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:35,000 - Tomorrow. - Aw, happy birthday for tomorrow! 254 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,040 Aw, let's have a wee look. 255 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,120 - We were looking at them, weren't we, Cath? - Were we? - Aye! 256 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,000 It was the dearer ones, though. 257 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,600 - What is it? - It's a digital picture frame. 258 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,480 You transfer all the pictures from your phone to it. 259 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:50,440 - And then what do you do? - Well, you...you look at them. 260 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:54,080 So, say I've got a phone, but I don't have any pictures on it? 261 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,520 Well, you wouldn't be able to dae it. 262 00:12:56,520 --> 00:13:00,240 - Aye, I don't want one, then. - What have you two got him? 263 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,800 Come on, don't be shy! 264 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,000 I saw you giving it to your dad earlier. Come on! 265 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,320 - Aw, that's just... - There it is! 266 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,840 Ooh! 267 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,960 Aw, you might have wrapped it! 268 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,040 An electric blanket?! That's the last thing he's needing, 269 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:18,200 isn't it, Beth? You said he sweats like a pig as it is! 270 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,720 It's theirs. They lent it to us. 271 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,880 - Ah! - The radiator in our bedroom was knackered, so we borrowed it. 272 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,720 - We actually forgot it was your birthday. - Aw, don't worry about it. 273 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:29,880 - Ian, that's terrible. - He was always an awfy selfish wee boy, that one. 274 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:33,640 I gave him vouchers 14 years ago for his Christmas 275 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:36,000 and I'm still waiting on a thank you card. 276 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,240 There's still time! I could nip along to the garage? 277 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,040 No, no, you don't need to go to the garage. 278 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:43,680 Make him go to the garage, Eric! Go to the garage, Jaz! 279 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:45,200 Pick me up 20 Silk Cut silver 280 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,200 and he could get a bottle of that wine, Col. 281 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,720 - You'll not get that in the garage. - Where'd you get it? 282 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,360 - It's Tesco Finest. - Don't bother, Jaz. 283 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:55,560 - No, don't bother, just stay where you are. - Oh, boo! 284 00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:59,040 It's fine! You can come round tomorrow. We're not doing anything. 285 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,720 Cath, Colin? You'll be round tomorrow, will you not? 286 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,160 - We can't tomorrow, Beth. - Er, we're away sailing. 287 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,560 - Sailing? - Yup. - On a boat. 288 00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:09,240 On a boat, on the sea. 289 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,520 Here, Jaz, if you are going to the garage, 290 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,680 will you bring me a packet of Rennies? 291 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,760 That quiche is coming back on me. 292 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,360 Big lumps of Stilton! 293 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,560 - Oh, I'm getting onion as well. 294 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,200 - You OK, Soph? - CATH: - Come and sit down! 295 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,680 Oh, you poor thing! 296 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,720 It's all right. She's all right, Christine! 297 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,760 Aw! I know how you're feeling, hmm? 298 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,440 Every dog we've ever had ended up getting put down 299 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,160 and it never gets any easier! 300 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,280 - I really am sorry, Dad. - It's fine! 301 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,480 Here, Jaz, there's �1.20. 302 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,320 Jaz, I'll gie you the money when you get back, yeah? 303 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,080 - Mrs Baird? - Hang on, Sophie, love. 304 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,720 Beth, give that to Jaz. I don't want to break a fiver. 305 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,760 He's not going to the garage, Christine! 306 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,560 Why don't we see if we can get a photo on this? 307 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,480 Mrs Baird, can I talk to you for just a minute? 308 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,840 Hang on a minute, Sophie, love. 309 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:08,880 Ian, let's get a photo of all of us and see if you can get it onto this. 310 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,240 - Where's your phone? - Where'd you get that, Beth? 311 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,320 Did you get it from the wee Chinese place? 312 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:17,520 Oh, that's a great shop, that! I saw this thing in there. 313 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:22,320 It was a hand on the end of a stick and, when you press a button, 314 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:24,280 the hand goes like that. 315 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:28,280 - And what's it for? - Don't know! Going like that! 316 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,000 So, who do you want? 317 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,120 Oh, take one of me first, Ian, and then get everybody! 318 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,680 - I want a photo of you two. - Us? - Uh-huh! 319 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:37,880 Eric, take a photo of Ian and Jaz. 320 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,480 Jaz, come on! Ian, give your phone to your dad. 321 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,560 Er, right. Where are we with this? 322 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,720 Oh, the big red button in the middle, down the bottom. 323 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:49,760 Closer in! 324 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,360 - Oh, if you just... - Eh? - ..move your finger a bit. 325 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:54,840 CHEESE! 326 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:59,480 Beth, here! They're starting to dress quite similar, aren't they? 327 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:03,360 That's what happens. Same way as folk start to look like their dugs. 328 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,040 There, that's it. 329 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,160 - JAZ: - Right, put this into that. 330 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,240 - Um, yeah. 331 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:13,640 ALL: Aw! 332 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,120 - Aw, that's pretty good! - No bad. 333 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,440 Oh, take another one! Take one of all the family! 334 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,600 Aw, we got one of them done professionally, didn't we, Sophie? 335 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,480 Remember when you were a wee baby? 336 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,520 Oh, wee baby Sophie. 337 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,480 Did you no' get one of them done? What happened to it? 338 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,120 Well, we...we did get one done, 339 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,520 but it didn't, er... It didn't come out right. 340 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,440 We just decided we were fine with what we had. 341 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:34,920 Yeah, we just decided to leave it. 342 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,960 - That's a bit of a waste. - Ach, well, you know, one of those things. 343 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,680 - Aw, baby. - They didn't still charge you for it, though, did they? - Er... 344 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,840 I can't remember. Did we pay? I think we paid something? 345 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,360 Oh, don't ask me. Ha-ha! 346 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:49,240 They made you pay for the picture, but you still never got it. 347 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,160 No, no, no, we did get it, we just decided not to, um... 348 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,760 - Not to...not to put it up. - Not to put it up, that's right. 349 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:57,160 - Anyway... - Well, have you still got it? 350 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,720 - Aw, I'd love to see it! - I'd love to see it too, Jaz! 351 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,880 - Come on, Eric! Go and get it! - CHRISTINE: Yeah! 352 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,120 - Listen, I don't even know where it is. - Aye, ye dae! 353 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:06,280 We wouldn't be able to find it in a million years! 354 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,400 - CATH: - Go and get it! - CHRISTINE: 355 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,240 - Get it, Eric! - If you paid all that money... 356 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,520 Watch where you're stepping! 357 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,760 I can't believe this! 358 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,800 - And I've still no' had any dinner! - Just get on with it. 359 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,680 - CHRISTINE: - Hosanna! Sing Hosanna! 360 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:31,120 - Sing Hosanna till the break of day! - Hey! 361 00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:36,360 - Aye, here, he's enjoying himself, aren't ye, son? - There you go. 362 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:37,960 Are you not driving? 363 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,280 Aw, he's all right. He's got his sat nav! 364 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:42,920 Sophie, do you want a glass? 365 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,600 No, thanks. I'm not wanting anything. 366 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,120 - You're allowed! - No! 367 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,000 She's taking it bad right enough, eh? 368 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,800 Oh, here he is! Oh, and he's got it! 369 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,280 Here, Eric, do you want a wee...? 370 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:01,600 No, come on now, Colin! He's on the wagon! 371 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:05,080 - Three wheels - ALL: On my wagon 372 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:09,080 And I'm still rolling along 373 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:13,040 The Cherokees are chasing me 374 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:16,480 - Arrows fly, right on by... - Eric, come on! 375 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,280 Bring it in! Bring it in! Come on, let's get a look at it. 376 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,040 - COLIN: - Right, come on, Eric. - Right, come on! 377 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,640 Right, ssh, everybody, ssh! Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh! 378 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,080 ALL: Aw! 379 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,720 - Oh, here, that's no bad! - Oh, Beth, look at your hair! 380 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:40,360 Boy, oh, boy! You've no' half piled on the beef, Eric! 381 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:45,720 - Oh, look at you there! - Don't! - What? You look so cute! 382 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:50,400 - What's that there? - It's just a sticker thing that Ian put on it. 383 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:51,800 Why'd he put it there? 384 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,400 - Basically, the photographer... - Unfortunately, um... 385 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,400 ..the way the guy set the shot up, 386 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,960 you ended up being able to see a bit of my... 387 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,360 - Your willy?! - No! 388 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:07,280 - Well, sort of. More like my... - What? 389 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,760 Your balls? 390 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,680 Aye. A bit of them. 391 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,760 One of them. You can see one of them. 392 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,640 Well, we THINK it's one of them. 393 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,600 There's something anyway, in amongst the...hair. 394 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,320 All right! All right! 395 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:35,440 Oh, look at the sticker, Colin! Look! Look! 396 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:39,400 - What is it? - It's a footballer! - Who is it? Let's get a look! 397 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,400 Go on! It's Ally McCoist! 398 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,840 Look, Ally McCoist stuck to yer balls! 399 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,960 Here, I bet you wouldn't mind that, eh, Ian?! 400 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,480 It's a bloody disgrace! 401 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,320 - I mean, I don't know how the guy didn't notice it! - Cathy, leave it! 402 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,440 Nae wonder you didn't put it up! 403 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,360 Who'd want that over their mantelpiece? Here, what about... 404 00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:03,560 ? One hairy ball hangin' on the wall... ? 405 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,040 One hairy ball hangin' on yer wall 406 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:11,040 - And if one hairy ball - Should accidentally fall! 407 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:15,240 ? You'd have Eric Baird's balls hangin' on the wall... ? 408 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,600 - Hooray! - Hilarious(!) 409 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,600 - She's pissing herself! 410 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:21,800 So she is! 411 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,720 - Cathy? 412 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,760 Cathy! Are you all right, Cath? 413 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,600 - Come on now, Cath. - Come on, let's get you into the kitchen. 414 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,040 What a shame! 415 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,000 - I know! - Eric... 416 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,240 Give us over her wine, eh? I'll just... 417 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:50,200 Aw, Cathy, what on earth is the matter? 418 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:56,440 - What's going on? - We're not going sailing! 419 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,120 Oh, well, that's disappointing, but surely... 420 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:03,320 We said we were going sailing on a boat, on the sea, but we're not. 421 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:09,000 - We're going to see the consultant at the fertility place. - Ah. 422 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,760 I don't think it's going to be good news, Beth. 423 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:15,080 Oh, come on now, Cath. 424 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,760 You don't know that for sure until you go and talk to them! 425 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,160 - Well, actually, I do. - How come? 426 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,840 I phoned them. I couldn't wait and I phoned them. 427 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:27,280 Oh, Beth... promise you won't say anything. 428 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,640 Of course not, Cathy. 429 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,040 It's your business and nobody needs to know. 430 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:36,040 What happens is they give you a wee cup, right? 431 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,400 And you go into this wee room and... 432 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,120 Well, that's you. I mean, you... 433 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:44,280 - You've gotta dae the biz. - But what happens if you cannae? 434 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,400 - Mum, please! - No, no, it's all right. 435 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:50,360 Er, well, there's things in there, Christine, you know. 436 00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:53,000 They've got things in there tae... tae help ye. 437 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,160 - What things? - Mum! 438 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,040 I'm just asking! 439 00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,960 It's just things to help, er, stimulate you. 440 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,920 Oh, like what-d'ya-ma-callits? 441 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:04,960 Fluffers! 442 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,720 So, what exactly did they say when you phoned? 443 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,760 Just a load of stuff about not being able to give out information 444 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:16,720 over the phone and something about harassment, 445 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:20,920 and then, eventually, she just said they were really sorry, but... 446 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,800 because of my age and, er... 447 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,360 ..various other factors that... 448 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:30,840 we'd reached the end of the road. 449 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,080 Aw, Cathy, I'm so sorry! 450 00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:36,360 I'd have made such a good mum, Beth! 451 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,960 How's Colin about it? 452 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,520 He doesn't know. I've not told him yet. 453 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,800 - Well, do you not think...? - I will! 454 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,600 Later, when it's just the two of us. 455 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:50,840 You know what my Colin's like. He's a very private person. 456 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,120 So, I'm sat in the corridor. 457 00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:55,160 It's like death row! 458 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,400 Except there's tea and coffee. 459 00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,960 And the next thing, the wee consultant guy, he calls me in 460 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:05,120 and he says, er, "Well, Mr White, we have never seen anything like it!" 461 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,400 And I was like that, "Oh, dear!" He says, "No, no!" he says. 462 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,440 He says, "Everything's fine your end. 463 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,720 "In fact, it's mair than fine. 464 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,920 "Your stuff is practically jumping oot the cup!" 465 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:24,080 Listen, there are millions of women who don't have children 466 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,080 living perfectly happy lives! 467 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,120 It's all I've ever wanted, Beth. 468 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:32,320 - I know. - A little baby Colin. 469 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:37,280 A little tiny Colin running round. Wouldn't that be amazing? 470 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,680 I mean, having babies - that's the point of living! 471 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,200 It's just the shock at the minute, Cathy! 472 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,480 - Yeah, you're right. - You've still got Colin. 473 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,440 - Yeah. - You've got your friends. 474 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:54,760 You've got me. 475 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,320 All right. 476 00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:02,440 Having a family isn't the be-all and end-all. 477 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,000 You've got a whole life ahead of you to look forward to, Cathy. 478 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:09,040 Oh, thanks, Beth! 479 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,240 Oh... 480 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:15,800 Aw. 481 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,400 Now I know I'm not going to have to breast-feed, I'm... 482 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,040 I'm definitely going to get implants for Christmas. 483 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:32,040 And exchange it some day for... 484 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:35,520 ? A crown. ? 485 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:36,840 Mum? 486 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,000 Mum! 487 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:42,160 - Come on, we'll need to go. - Aw, ssh! I'm enjoying myself! 488 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,920 It's no very often I get the chance to get out the house 489 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,200 and get a bit of company! 490 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,960 And besides, I reckon this is going to end up in a screaming match, 491 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,800 and I'm buggered if I'm going to miss that! 492 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,320 Hello! 493 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,880 - JAZ: Are you OK, Cathy? - Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine. 494 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,680 I was just, um... 495 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,760 Cathy was just telling me about the sailing trip she's going on. 496 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,400 Colin was just telling us about his... 497 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,720 Why don't we take a nice picture of us all 498 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:10,760 and put it on your digital frame thing? 499 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,160 - Oh, yeah, birthday picture! - Yeah, that's a great idea. 500 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,440 Right, everyone, squeeze in on the sofa. 501 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,680 - Birthday boy, you in the middle. - Right, there you are. Oh, here... 502 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:22,840 - Mind keep your legs shut this time, Eric. - Aye, all right! - Ha-ha-ha! 503 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:26,280 - I'm just going to head home. - Aw, Sophie, stay for the photo! 504 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,440 Yeah, stay for the photo, Soph. 505 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,360 - CHRISTINE: - Oh, my God! 506 00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:31,800 I'll tell you this... 507 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,880 I have enjoyed this tonight. 508 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:40,240 In fact, the whole day has been super. 509 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:41,440 It really has. 510 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,680 - Nothing's happening. - Just wait a few seconds and then it'll do it. 511 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,840 - Oh, dear. - There we go! 512 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,040 There we are! 513 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,880 - Oh, it's a bit weird! - What's wrong with it? 514 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,400 Christine smiling, is she? 515 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,720 - What's the wee dick saying noo? 516 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:03,760 Let me see it! 517 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:09,200 That's all right! Aye! 518 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,920 Oh, there's a hell of a sheen aff your forehead, Eric! 519 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:15,000 Here, Jaz, take one of us! 520 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,840 Take one of the mums, eh! 521 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:18,440 Come on, Beth! Ha-ha! 522 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,040 - There, up, up. - Aye. - Come on. 523 00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:22,160 Uh-huh! 524 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:27,920 - Here, Cathy, you come in on this as well. - Er, no, I'm... - Come on, Cathy! 525 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:34,320 - Oh, well, I'll come in too. - No, no, this is just for the mums! 526 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:35,720 AND Cathy. 527 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,000 Christine! 528 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,960 Well, she's working on it, aren't you, Cathy? 529 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,760 Oh, here, you'd better get my good side, eh? 530 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:44,560 Oh, no, Sophie, you take it. 531 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,000 Sophie knows how to take me. 532 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,720 No, no, no. 533 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,880 No, I'll just come in for it. 534 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,480 - It's mums, isn't it? - Uh-huh. - Well, I'll just come in for it, then. 535 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,440 - But you're not a mum! - Well, not yet I'm not. 536 00:26:58,120 --> 00:26:59,160 But I will be soon. 537 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:02,480 I'm pregnant. 538 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,560 Beth! 539 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:07,880 BETH! 540 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,000 Aw! 541 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:12,880 - Mr Baird? - Er, yes? 542 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,320 - You brought in Christine O'Neill? - Aye. 543 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,320 They've got her sedated and they're just going 544 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,800 - to keep an eye on her for the time being. - That's good. 545 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,360 - Can I take some details from you in the meantime? - Of course. 546 00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:25,160 - Your name, please? - Eric Baird. - Mm-hm. 547 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,480 - Your relation to patient? - Friend. 548 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,440 Er, no, neighbour. 549 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,760 And your date of birth? 550 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,000 Er, sixth of the fifth, '53. 551 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,720 Great. 552 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,320 Sixth of the fifth? Oh, that... 553 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:42,400 So it is! 554 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:43,560 Happy birthday! 555 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:50,800 I've just come doon from the Isle of Skye 556 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,760 I'm not very big and I'm awful shy 557 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:54,960 And the lassies shout when I go by 558 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,880 Donald, where's your troosers? 559 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,160 Let the wind blow high Let the wind blow low 560 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,280 Through the streets in my kilt I'll go 561 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,280 And all the ladies say hello 562 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,360 Donald, where's your troosers? 563 00:28:05,360 --> 00:28:07,480 A lassie took me to a ball 564 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,440 And it was slippery in the hall 565 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,520 And I was feart that I would fall 566 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,520 For I hadnae on my troosers 567 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:15,760 Let the wind blow high Let the wind blow low 568 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:17,920 Through the streets in my kilt I'll go 569 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,960 And all the ladies say hello 570 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,960 Donald, where's your troosers? 571 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,960 I went doon to London Town 572 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,040 I had some fun in the underground 573 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,200 The ladies turned their heads around saying 574 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,280 ? Donald, where's your troosers? ? 575 00:28:30,330 --> 00:28:34,880 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 45753

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