Original subtitles

Who was madly in love with who at school...

but then who married who?

How many kids did they have?

She was so pretty.

Only the eyes never change.

Same old, same old. That's life.

The funniest guy in class will be cracking jokes again...

but he won't make everyone laugh like before.

Ah! Leyla's here.

Leyla, who never comes to reunions.

On top of that, she came by train!

It takes so long!

She was romantic even at high school.

She was an introvert.

And a bit antisocial. A nice girl, though.

Shh! Quiet, please.

An emotional speech.

Cheers!

Then people will start showing off their talents.

And it'll get to my turn.

Be happy. You're together.

Yes, let's see you smile.

Great.

Fantastic!

Yes, flirt a little. Move closer!

Groom, let's see your teeth.

Laugh, yes. Cheek to cheek. Now face to face.

Excuse me, could you hold this a moment?

Can we hold the frame right?

Thank you.

OK, you're in the frame. You're happy. Here we go.

Great.

Yes, here we go. Smile. Smile! All together now.

What about me? Don't my hands show?

I can Photoshop them out no problem.

OK, one more. Smile!

Thanks very much.

Call me when you get there.

OK, I'll text you.

I got you a ticket for tomorrow. It's in the bag.

-What time's the train? -3:30.

Dad, why did you get this? They do food on the train.

Better to have it with you. Just in case.

Have it before the interview. Don't go on an empty stomach.

Well, OK. Thanks.

Are you waiting for the Blue Train, too?

Yes.

-So is my daughter, Canan. -Oh, really?

She's finishing nursing school this year.

She's going for an interview at a private hospital.

So you'll be moving?

She'll have to if she gets the job.

Will you watch out for her on the train?

Well, OK. Which carriage are you in?

I'm in a couchette.

I'm in a sleeper cabin.

No matter. We'll be in the dining car most of the time.

|| Subtitles: Register

SOMETHING USEFUL

Fuck!

Come on! Run!

The dining car is now open and taking orders.

The dining car is now open and taking orders.

The dining car is now open and taking orders.

The dining car is now open and taking orders.

Red...

Green...

Blue...

Orange.

I'm orange and nothing rhymes with orange.

What's wrong? Why are you closing them?

Just in case. Someone might throw stones.

Because of my beer?

It isn't that, but... To avoid any stones.

Great start! I wind up with all the maniacs.

Busy!

I should've taken the bus.

No, I haven't taken any sedatives. They zone me out.

We get in at around 10.00.

The house is near the station, right?

How long does it take?

By taxi or on foot?

What about the carer?

Does she leave at 11.00 sharp?

Quick. Hurry.

What if she leaves later tomorrow?

- It's busy. - She's busting.

OK, I know. But if she answers the door when I ring the bell?

Busy!

I have to go now. I'll call you later.

How's the compartment?

Fine. It's just me at the moment.

Come to the dining car if you like.

No, I'm OK where I am.

Can I sit here?

Sure.

My compartment started filling up.

I felt crowded out.

Then sit here for a while.

Are you hungry?

Not especially, but I could eat something.

The meatballs don't look bad.

Excuse me!

So you're going for a job interview?

Yes... And you? Are you going for work?

No. To visit friends, let's say.

That's nice.

What do you do?

I'm a lawyer.

Really?

I'll have the meatballs. You?

Me, too. Meatballs.

OK, meatballs for us both.

They come with fries, don't they?

-Sure. -Beer?

Yes, I'll have another beer. How about you?

No...

Actually, yes.

OK. I'll get you two beers.

Hi, honey.

How did it go?

Did you look in the fridge?

Take a look.

No, with a nurse I met on the train.

I'm in safe hands. We're looking out for each other.

So how was shooting today?

Which scene?

The scene you did for the on-camera audition?

Well, if the director was happy...

OK. Get some rest, OK? Kisses.

Was that your husband?

No, my boyfriend.

So you aren't married. Don't you think about it?

I don't know. I might do if you held the frame for us.

Did you see me at the station?

How about you? You have a boyfriend?

Yes, but it's hard when it's long-distance.

Is he somewhere else?

Yes. Maybe it's better that way, I don't know.

My parents give me grief about that kind of stuff.

-Don't they know? -Only my mom does.

-Are these seats free? -Sure. Go ahead.

All the tables are taken. We'll move if one frees up.

You can sit here if you like. There's plenty of room.

Thanks, honey. We're fine here.

-Two beers for us. -And some nuts?

No, thanks.

OK, two beers.

Where's your interview? In a private hospital?

I'm sorry. We're disturbing you. We've interrupted your conversation.

No, no. We're just chatting.

Oh, OK.

So you're a lawyer?

I thought you were a teacher or something.

How come? Do I look really serious?

No, you just speak very correctly.

It's how teachers usually speak.

You, too.

I went on a TV presenter course.

Sorry, can I get past?

It must be her boyfriend if she's left the table.

Are you going back home?

Yes. You?

We're doing a program. We'll be there a couple of days.

And you?

Me, too. I have a program on.

That's so cute.

Are you both singers?

No. I have a singing act. And Dilara dances.

Sorry. I must get this.

Ayșe? I was going to call you.

Yes. I'm on my way.

No, really. I'm on the train. Can't you hear those sounds?

I'm not about to turn around after getting this far. Don't worry.

Around 10.00.

No, don't come. I'll jump in a taxi.

OK... OK, I'll call when I get in.

Here is your meatballs.

Mmmm... It looks good. Please, help yourselves.

Thanks, honey. I'm not hungry.

I've already stolen some fries.

-Please have some more. -No, no.

The fries are great. Shall I order a portion?

I won't have any, but go ahead if you want some.

You have a gift for putting people off.

Stay hungry then!

Canan, your meatballs are getting cold.

You mentioned a course. Do you want to present on TV?

Are those courses really worth it?

I mean, can you get a job afterwards?

They put you in touch with agencies.

Some people find work, others don't.

Did you?

No. I didn't go to any agencies.

I actually want to be an actress, not a presenter.

Isn't your boyfriend an actor?

Yes.

Oh, really? Do I know him?

What TV series is he in?

He isn't at the moment.

-Did he go to the Conservatory? -Yes.

I'd like to go, too.

But it's really hard to get in.

I plan to do one of those courses...

that prepare you for the exam.

What do your parents say?

They don't know yet. But Murat is totally against it.

Murat? Your boyfriend?

Yes. He wants me to carry on nursing.

Don't listen to your boyfriend. Be an actress.

You're gorgeous. Look at you.

Anyway, I've made up my mind.

I'll save up and then give up nursing.

Good for you.

It's not my thing. I want to be an actress.

A ton of TV series are being made these days.

My acting career ended...

during my first rehearsal at middle school.

You're an actress, too?

Absolutely not. I was in the drama club at school.

Us girls did heroic things during the War of Independence.

The boy playing the lead - he was a general.

He had to kiss me on the forehead.

So I leaned over and waited.

But no kiss. He couldn't bring himself to do it.

But why not?

He turned and looked pleadingly at the teacher.

Apparently he was grossed out.

How come?

Because my forehead was full of pimples.

The teacher told him to put his hand on my forehead...

and kiss that instead.

The poor boy was almost sick when he put his hand on my forehead.

If he saw you now he'd give you a smacking kiss!

That was Kemal. He became a doctor.

I don't suppose he's grossed out by anything these days.

He can't be.

I could never do a job like that.

Being a doctor or nurse is definitely not for me.

My mom really wanted me to be a nurse. But I didn't.

I couldn't touch people all over. It's gross.

Never mind that, people die in your hands.

That's really hard.

I'm busting. I must go to the bathroom.

Has anyone ever died in your hands?

Yes. On my first day as an intern.

Bad luck or what? How about later? Do you get used to it?

You do.

Paralyzed from the neck down!

Won't he get any better?

They really tried, but no.

Come on in. It's a terrible story.

So then what happened?

Then he called that friend of mine and asked him for help.

What, he asked for money?

No. He asked my friend to kill him.

He asked him to kill him?

Sure he did. Why wouldn't he?

You heard. The man's paralyzed from the neck down.

Would you want to live like that?

God forbid!

So then? Did he kill him?

No. He said he couldn't.

How could anyone kill their friend?

I read a story like that in the newspaper, you know.

A man killed his paralyzed wife.

Then he confessed and was sent to prison.

But the woman had a lot of pain.

She was in such pain she begged the man to kill her.

The man couldn't take it in the end and killed her.

Same with the guy I know.

At one point he couldn't take any more...

of his friend's begging.

You mean he tried?

Yes, but he couldn't do it.

He went all the way there and came back again.

-Anyway. -How did he try?

Well, the man's a doctor. She just said.

He wouldn't stuff a pillow over the man's face for goodness sake.

Can you come here?

-What's up? -Why don't you come over?

Ali must have called.

C'mon, let's go see her for a bit.

And we were having a nice chat.

Sorry, we have to leave you. Let me leave you this.

OK, have a nice evening.

Good luck.

Thanks, honey.

Someone asks you to kill them.

You could only ask that of someone you love dearly.

And they love you too much to be able to do it. Right?

Do what?

Kill you.

You were talking about that man who asked your friend.

Yes. That's exactly why Hüseyin couldn't do it.

Who's Hüseyin?

A doctor at my hospital.

Is that the friend you're talking about?

Yes.

Maybe he got scared.

If he's a doctor, he'd know there could be an autopsy.

Of course.

But not everyone who dies has an autopsy, do they?

No, but if someone suspects something...

The man lived alone. He only had a carer with him.

They don't always want an autopsy.

It depends on the doctor issuing the death certificate.

If he has any doubts or suspicions...

So what happened next?

When the doctor said he couldn't do it.

Did the man change his mind?

I don't know.

What's going on? Why have we stopped?

Was he young? Did he have some kind of accident?

He was 45. He had an accident six years ago.

Didn't the man have any other friends?

Yes, but he slowly dropped them all.

Hüseyin is the only one he still sees.

Why have the lights gone out?

Sorry.

We'll put them on again in two minutes. It's a friend's birthday.

Oh, OK. Go ahead. Enjoy yourselves.

Youth!

What did he do for a living?

I think he was an engineer.

Have you met him?

No.

I should go.

It's OK. I'll take care of it.

No, please.

No, really. You can do breakfast.

Well, OK.

Thank you. Good night.

You, too.

Will you die in this house?

"Yes."

The dining table is beautiful. "It came from my grandfather."

"He gave it to my parents when they married."

"My mother hated it. She said it was very old-fashioned."

Did you use to hide under the table?

"Sure."

"Whenever my uncle visited with his family."

"I was eight when I came out of there."

Really?

I still hide under there from time to time.

So were you born in this house?

"Yes."

"I've come back home in the end."

Oh god!

Thank you, dear. God bless.

Thank you.

I was going to go back.

Back home?

The job interview?

Are you going to see him?

Who?

The man who wants to die.

I was on duty at the hospital that night.

Hüseyin called me to his room.

I thought he was a bit depressed and wanted to talk.

I'd just had a fight with Murat.

So I wasn't feeling that great either.

Anyway, I went to his room and he really looked terrible.

It's like he was about to cry.

I asked him what was wrong. He broke down in tears.

He couldn't speak.

I gave him a hug and tried to comfort him.

He seemed to calm down a bit when I held him.

Then he told me all about that friend of his who's paralyzed.

His name is Yavuz. One day, Hüseyin went to see him...

And said, 'OK, I'll do it. I'll do what you're asking.'

Like I said, he tried it once, remember?

The man gave Hüseyin such a look, he wouldn't take his eyes off him.

He realized then that Yavuz had made up his mind.

But Hüseyin couldn't do it. So he ran off.

The man started calling him every day to try to persuade him.

Hüseyin said no, he couldn't do it.

Like you said, when you really love someone...

You can't bring yourself. How could you kill them?

At first, I couldn't figure out why Hüseyin was telling me all this.

Good evening.

Hello.

Excuse me.

We forgot to get anything to eat.

We can check out the dining car.

Excuse me. Is the dining car open all night?

I don't know.

She wants to change her life.

Is Hüseyin paying her for this, I wonder?

She can't tell me. She can't tell anyone.

This isn't a simple transaction.

It isn't a transaction at all.

It's a favor. She'll tell herself she's doing a favor...

that she'd do the favor even for nothing in return.

What would you do in my place?

What would you do in my place?

She'll always seek approval from others.

What would I do in her place?

Where are you going?

To a 25th anniversary graduation dinner.

Do you go every year?

No, this is my first time. I find these things hard.

Hard? Is that what you call hard?

I almost changed my mind at the last minute like you.

What are you going to give him?

Something that slows and then stops the heart.

Pills?

No, an injection.

Won't the needle leave a mark?

No. He's put on a drip sometimes.

So there's already a vein open.

Who's going to handle the death report?

Hüseyin, I expect. I haven't asked.

Call him right away and ask.

Hüseyin will be coming anyway when the carer calls him.

He'll take care of it.

If the doctor writing the death report has any doubts...

He can ask for an autopsy. As I told you.

Call him right away. Be sure you cover yourself.

He has a doctor friend there. He's going to do the death report.

Then there definitely won't be an autopsy, will there?

No.

The crow didn't stay long at that station.

It was dangerous.

It was full of danger. No.

It was full of threats.

He felt restless.

He felt uneasy.

He felt uneasy.

The crow didn't stay long at that station.

It was full of threats.

He felt uneasy.

He flew off from the old red wagon.

He flew off from the faded old red wagon

and never went back.

Yavuz Bey?

"I'm here. In the back room."

"It's on your right. At the end of the corridor."

Hello.

"Hello, Canan."

She didn't come.

"Why not?"

She got scared.

"But Hüseyin just called to say she was on the train."

Canan turned around halfway.

"But she promised."

"Who are you then?"

Her travel companion.

"Are you a nurse, too?"

No.

"So what do you do?"

I am a poet.

"A poet?"

"But Hüseyin said a nurse would be coming."

Where are we?

-What's up? Why have we stopped? -We've broken down.

-Will it last long? -The technicians will take a look.

Don't get out.

I just want a cigarette.

It's hard rounding everyone up.

Can't we just get some air? C'mon, Canan.

Yes, Hüseyin?

I've no idea.

The train's broken down.

How would I know?

-Where are we? -I don't know.

I don't know.

I'll be late.

I don't know. They aren't telling us anything.

What if it goes on for ages? Should I come back?

OK, fine.

Can he be on his own?

Between 11.00 and 13.00.

When his carer does the shopping.

Dear passengers...

Attention please, there's a breakdown in the central heating system.

Our technical team is working to fix it. We will be moving again shortly.

-Excuse me! Are you hungry? - No.

One day I skipped school again. I'm walking by the water daydreaming.

It's early morning.

I'm humming away to myself. Suddenly I hear someone calling 'Leyla!'

I see my mom and aunt looking at me across the street...

with a ton of bags from the market.

I stand there like a frightened rabbit.

Slowly they come towards me.

'What are you doing, Leyla?' 'Nothing, Mom. Just walking.'

Wasn't she mad at you?

You're going the wrong way,' she said.

'School's that way.'

-Do you know the place at all? -No, it's my first time there.

So where will you be heading? Where does he live?

Ah! That's where my hotel is.

It must be one of the waterfront residences.

Residences?

He isn't that rich as far as I know.

I just mean an apartment that overlooks the water.

You see, I don't think he has a ton of money.

Good evening... How are you?

I'm Cemal Uzun, a parliamentary candidate.

I have some great projects for you.

With your support I hope we'll get to make them happen.

C'mon, let's get some air.

It's cold outside.

They'll be at our table soon enough.

Do you know them?

No. But it's the last thing I need right now.

Let me pay this time, please.

It's OK. I'll do it.

Hüseyin gave me an advance. This time I...

It's OK. Keep it. You'll need it.

I wonder what he does all day?

Does he sit looking out of the window, for example?

If he lives where I think, he really could spend all day...

looking out of the window.

There's a lot of action there. Ferries coming and going...

People walking by the water, people running...

people kissing.

Healthy lives. Imagine watching that all day.

You'd be so frustrated.

Maybe the curtains are closed all the time.

If it were me, I'd never open them.

I'd hang out on the net or watch TV.

How would he use a computer?

He can move a few of his fingers.

I don't suppose he can read anything.

His carer reads him books and newspapers.

Our train is ready to depart.

Please return to your seats!

Towards the end of the dinner we'll make promises.

We'll vow to keep in touch more often.

We'll invite each other to our homes.

We'll even talk about taking a vacation together.

That idea will get us very excited.

Someone enterprising will start organizing it then and there.

We'll want to be a team, to be all together.

We'll love life.

We'll make plans.

We'll want to live forever.

He doesn't, though.

He wants his friend to kill him.

Come and kill me.

Give me a light let me light a smoke

Come to me glide to me while I gaze at you

The masts of the ships are tall

The hearts of the men undaunted

And then what?

Did the man find someone to kill him in the end?

I'm coming with you.

You're coming with me? Excuse me? How do you mean?

Why? Why are you coming?

You want us to go together? To do it together?

No... No way.

I wish I'd never said anything.

Forget it. Just forget it.

I won't be able to do it anyway. Whatever. Forget it.

Why do you want to come with me? I don't get it. What's in it for you?

OK, forget it.

-Number 244, wasn't it? -Yes.

That's here. Can we stop here?

Are you getting out here?

No, I'm carrying on.

Can you wait down below until I get upstairs?

Here you go.

Who is it?

Who's there?

Sorry, I pressed the wrong bell.

Are you sure you pressed the right bell?

Of course. Why wouldn't I? That was the carer.

She hasn't left yet or is back early, I don't know.

Let me see the address.

Here, look. Apartment 2, number 244.

You pressed number 3.

No, I didn't. I pressed 2.

How were you planning to get in?

With the key.

Why not give me the key and I'll check things out?

If it's the right place I'll call you right away.

You don't have my number.

You're right.

What is it?

0539...

635 75 97

OK. Go and sit by the shore.

But don't go far.

-Hello, Ayșe? -Leyla, where've you been?

We still haven't arrived, can you believe it?

You haven't arrived? No, the train's broken down.

We've been waiting hours at some godforsaken station.

-Oh dear, breakfast is ready. -Hello? I can't hear you.

-How long will it take? -I can't hear you... Hello?

When will you arrive?

Yavuz Bey...

Yavuz Bey...

I'm in here... In the living room. First on your left.

Are you the person Hüseyin sent?

He said it would be a nurse.

The nurse will be here shortly. I'm keeping her company.

So Hüseyin didn't send you.

No. He doesn't know about me.

Sorry, I've just barged in like an uninvited guest, but...

You are alone, aren't you?

I am, yes. But it's me who should be sorry.

Suddenly seeing you in the flesh...

Please, have a seat.

Hello? Uh-huh, yes...

Yes, come on up.

Well, fancy that! I'll be going with a poet's blessing!

You know me?

Of course I know you!

I'm a reader of yours. And a good reader at that!

Since your very first book. What was it called?

"Quick Autobiography"... A print run of 500 copies.

I paid the printers out of my own pocket.

The man knows me. What am I going to do now?

Canan?

Canan, where are you going?

Canan...

Canan, what are you doing? Come back here!

Where's that music coming from?

My neighbor upstairs. She's a cello teacher.

Oh God! What was it? What was your first book called?

"Quick Autobiography".

Ah, yes! "Quick Autobiography". Of course. "Quick Autobiography".

That poem "Photograph" was in the book, wasn't it?

"Photograph"? Ah, yes.

What a beautiful poem.

"When I was a child they called to me from a photograph.

"By the time I arrived I was a melancholy young woman"

Here's what I pictured.

You set up a camera and press the shutter release...

Then you run to pose in front of the camera.

And by the time you get there it's all happened.

That'll be Canan.

-Where is he? -In there.

Hello.

Welcome...

Have a seat.

It's time I was going.

Stay a bit longer.

If you have the time...

When will the carer be back?

Not for a while, don't worry.

If you aren't in a rush.

I'm not in any rush.

Please, take a seat.

Hüseyin sent you this.

Shall I open it?

OK.

Actually, no. Don't bother.

You aren't going to read it?

OK. As you like.

But get rid of it later, won't you?

I shouldn't give it back to Hüseyin?

It would only upset the poor man.

You're right, it would.

He's very fond of you.

He's very sorry about the decision you made.

He understands me. He'd understand now as well.

I know how hard it is.

If I could do it myself,

without getting you people involved...

Ah, Almond Adem's here. Is it noon already?

Will it work right away?

The injection?

Yes, it kicks in very quickly.

It slows down the heart, doesn't it?

Yes.

So will I lose consciousness?

It's a lot like falling asleep.

It's best if I give you the letter. Poets like letters.

Poet? Didn't you say you were a lawyer?

Poets never say they're poets when asked what they do.

What do you say?

An engineer, but not by choice. It's the family profession.

How strange! What's brought him here?

The carer chased him away one day because he eats the bread...

which she leaves for the pigeons. And he's been gone ever since.

When crows sense a threat somewhere they never go back there.

Look, this sly thing realized you weren't Makbule.

He's a clever bird.

So does he think I'm harmless?

Exactly.

See how they protect themselves?

Let me ask you something.

Why do you protect yourself so much?

-Who, me? -You hide yourself.

I hide?

You're in a solitary, remote place that no one can reach.

You want to stay right there...

to protect yourselves.

Maybe, I don't know.

If you don't like searching, maybe hiding seems more attractive.

Why don't you like searching? Or aren't you curious?

Of course I am. If I stopped being curious...

I'd withdraw into a corner and just wait to die.

I never really wanted to be someone who searches.

That isn't what I meant.

I understand.

In searching, you focus on finding. You focus on what's ahead.

I guess I prefer to look around me than into the beyond.

Do I hide? I don't know. I'll think about that.

Excuse me. Do you know each other?

I knew her. She didn't know me, of course.

But destiny changed that today.

I don't know, you're talking like two people...

who've known each other for ages.

I thought, what a coincidence!

When she came in just now I thought...

one last surprise from Hüseyin. He's sent me a poet instead of a nurse.

Excuse me.

Take the call.

-Hello? -Hello, am I speaking to Yavuz Bey?

Yes, speaking.

Hello, Yavuz Bey. My name's Èlleknur.

I'm calling from Ontas Tourism.

We'd like to invite you and your family...

on a complimentary weekend tour...

to the Balçova Spa Resort.

Can't I come on my own?

Umm... Well, OK. Sure.

But let's make it during the week.

Weekdays don't work for me.

Really? Then let me check out the weekend.

I'll have a word with my boss...

and get back to you. OK? -OK, sure.

I'll be troubling you again then.

Thank you for your time, Yavuz Bey.

You're welcome. Goodbye.

You did that so well without snubbing the girl.

Do you answer every call like that?

Generally, yes. So you two?

Since Hüseyin has no hand in it...

how do you know each other?

Are you family?

No, we met on the train.

You met on the train?

Yes. We met on the train last night.

You met last night...

and came here together this morning?

Canan told me on the train.

I didn't tell you anything. You guessed for yourself.

The questions she asked!

Poets ask questions, don't they, Leyla Hanim?

They're curious. If their curiosity dies...

they should withdraw and wait for death, right?

Do you think I came here out of curiosity?

I think you wanted to experience this moment.

Witnessing a person's death is no small thing.

It's OK. Curiosity is only human.

Do you go after everything that makes you curious like this?

I was actually going to meet up...

with high-school friends for a 25th anniversary dinner. I me--

So you're curious not only about the dying...

but also about the living.

Off you go. See where life has taken people in 25 years.

I'm not just curious from a distance, I experience these things, too.

And I'm moved by them.

You're moved, yes. But in order to write.

I couldn't take it otherwise.

You couldn't take it.

But life is sacred. You must carry on. You must learn to take it.

Are you really a poet?

Of course she is. But what I don't understand...

is how you could be a lawyer.

I have to pay the bills.

I understand that.

But you picked a very harsh world.

I'd have thought you'd rather be a bit further away from people.

You can't stay in hiding all the time.

Was it you who wanted to be a lawyer or your family?

Me. I wanted to do something useful.

Is writing poetry not useful enough?

So acting is useless as well.

It isn't like nursing for sure.

You want to be an actress?

Yes. I don't want to be a nurse.

I can see why. It's a tough job.

So you don't want to hide like Leyla Hanim.

Call me Leyla.

No. Why would I? I believe in myself.

So you're saying Leyla doesn't?

No, not at all. Don't get me wrong, will you?

Of course not.

Besides, if she didn't believe in herself...

how could she be a poet?

She said in an interview once you can't be a poet...

unless you destroy everything you believe in...

starting with yourself.

I don't remember that. Where did I say it?

What an arrogant thing to say!

I read everything in two minutes flat.

But who knows how much work you put into writing?

People often want to make you someone who knows everything.

After every interview I say it'll be the last.

And it never is. I wonder where it was?

I don't remember exactly, but in a newspaper, I think.

Anyway, forget it.

You're being modest. I can tell.

It's not about being modest.

Knowing everything is dull, that's all.

If you know everything, you have to rid your life...

of all contradictions.

True.

I'll leave contradictions to you people now.

Is that the carer?

No, Makbule has a key. She never rings the bell.

Who is it then?

Someone ringing the bell downstairs. It must be one of...

the cello teacher's students.

-Shall I look out of the window? -No, don't.

She doesn't hear the bell. She's off in her own world again.

She doesn't hear a thing.

You won't see the yellow flower again.

The yellow flower?

"A Yellow Flower". It's the name of a story.

It came to mind just now when you said...

you'd leave contradictions to us.

Cortazar. You know Cortazar?

Cortazar! Of course I know Cortazar.

How does the story go? Remind me, will you?

When will the carer be back?

I sent her somewhere faraway. She won't be back just yet.

Start getting ready if you like.

Over there on the table.

Do you need anything?

No, I have everything with me.

A middle-aged man. I think he was a clerk at the town hall.

One day he sees a boy on the bus...

who looks exactly like him. Or rather...

exactly like he was as a boy.

The story of the man who knows the only mortal in the world.

It must be there somewhere.

The only mortal? How do you mean?

Well, one day the man meets a boy on the bus.

The boy is a carbon copy of the man when he was a boy.

The man is astonished.

He follows the boy, gets to know him, goes to his house...

becomes close with his family and starts seeing him all the time.

As time goes on, he sees such uncanny similarities...

that he begins to think the boy...

is a reincarnation of himself.

The two become closer and closer.

But one day the boy suddenly develops an illness...

that the man had himself as a boy.

The same illness. The man survived, grew up...

and is still alive. But the boy dies before his very eyes.

As it happens, the man isn't too upset...

about the boy's death. He's even happy.

Happy?

Yes, happy that there won't be a repeat of his own life.

This bit is underlined.

What did I underline?

"I was filled with the joyful certainty...

"of being the first mortal."

"Of feeling my life was wearing away day after day, wine after wine..."

"and that finally it would end some place or other,

some time or other."

"That I was really going to be dead, no Luc (that's the boy who dies)..."

"to step into the wheel to stupidly reiterate a stupid life."

Stupid or not. People do everything to keep going in life.

Even to be immortal, for that matter.

They write books, poems, they make films...

They have children, they work... They just live.

But then some people don't want to be immortal.

Not until they see the yellow flower.

What's special about the yellow flower?

Nothing really. It's quite ordinary. But he catches the flower's eye.

And then he realizes that if he dies he'll never see the flower again.

He stops in his tracks.

There'll never be a flower like it again.

Which means it isn't that easy to give up.

Who wrote the story?

Cortazar. I like him a lot.

He's full of surprises. The guy never stops wrong-footing you.

He's a boxer, you know.

Yavuz Karacan, self published, September 1997

You can take it. Keep it.

Thank you.

Where's he from?

-The man who wrote the story? -Yes.

Argentina. Did you like it?

Yes, it's nice, but a bit dark.

What kind of things do you read?

Brighter things.

I see death every day. I don't need to read about it.

How about poetry?

Poetry... Sure, it's nice. But I don't understand some of it.

Do you have to understand it?

Of course you do!

It's boring when you don't understand.

Also, I'm not a very romantic person.

If you ask me, poetry is more for dreamers.

Don't you ever dream?

Sometimes.

What about?

Well, like...

about becoming a famous actress.

One of Turkey's best actresses.

About giving interviews and stuff, like you now.

You're right. It's become rather like an interview.

I'm not boring you, am I? Or is this your last interview?

I hope not. It's a delightful conversation.

I can hardly bear to go.

Well, I have to go. My father got me a ticket.

We can change it. I can talk to them if it's a problem.

Anyway, didn't your dad leave you in my hands?

Shall we come back again tomorrow?

What do you say?

Today didn't do it for you.

You want to do something useful tomorrow again?

-Do you have somewhere to stay? -No.

She can stay at my hotel. I'll arrange it.

OK.

So we'll get to hear all about your graduation dinner.

Watch out for the time again tomorrow. Be gone 30 minutes...

before Makbule is back.

Of course. We'll be gone before she gets back.

Why did you say we'd go back tomorrow?

I came here to do a favor.

But forget it, I can't do it.

Am I the best person in the world? Let someone else do the favor.

Hüseyin can call and tell him.

I'll return the advance he paid when I get back.

Of course it's easy for you.

Why did you come anyway?

I suppose we seemed interesting.

A young nurse in need of money...

a crippled man wanting to die.

It would make a good poem, right?

What about your acting course? Have you given up on it?

Why are you asking?

You think I agreed to do this for the money?

No, I don't. I think you're doing it for Yavuz.

Hello, Hüseyin?

I'm walking down a street. No, no one's with me.

What do you think it is?

Looks like a car.

If it was a car, we'd hear it.

A cat maybe?

It's like someone walking.

Actually no, it's like a fish swimming among people.

Is it things like this that inspire you?

Is there really such a thing as inspiration?

I think so. They say the first line is a gift from god.

So are you inspired by real life?

What did you think when you first saw me for example?

The bag your father pressed into your hands.

You turned and looked at me to see whether I'd seen.

It was an embarrassed, familiar look.

My father always does that.

In the dining car you never looked at your reflection in the window.

What was I looking at?

Nothing. Images were just gliding past before your eyes.

Really?

You never once looked at your reflection and...

fixed your hair, for example.

The things you notice!

Is that what made you think...

this girl has a problem?

What did you tell your parents?

I made something up.

Didn't they ask you how the interview went?

I said we had a nice talk today but...

that the real interview was tomorrow.

It's true, isn't it?

Sure.

Should we ask again tomorrow about going back the next day?

Of course.

Fine, but I think he's really made up his mind.

Otherwise Hüseyin wouldn't have insisted...

on me going back again tomorrow.

But he'd made up his mind today as well.

I almost let it slip on the phone...

that we went together.

How long is it since you saw your friends?

Twenty-five years.

Does it look OK?

Great.

You think the doctor might fancy me now?

Which doctor?

The boy who wouldn't kiss me...

because of the pimples on my forehead. Would he kiss me now?

Is he the reason you're going?

If I were you, I'd definitely be going for him.

What will you do while I'm at the dinner?

I don't know. I'll find something. I'll watch TV.

Aren't you hungry?

Shall I have something sent up from downstairs?

No. My father gave me a ton of cookies, right?

I'll eat those if I get hungry.

Why are you doing that? It looked great as it was.

Wasn't it too revealing?

No, that's the way it's cut.

From his bed he's watching the lights of the ferry...

slowly edging towards the shore.

The cello teacher upstairs is finally alone.

She plays Yavuz her favorite piece.

The carer will come in now.

She'll bring him his dinner.

He'll be too busy looking at her to see us get off the ferry.

The woman is a good cook.

Yavuz will heap praise on her.

The woman will ask whether to make...

lentil patties tomorrow. She knows he likes them.

Yavuz will tell her not to go to the trouble.

The woman will tell him what she did when she went out today.

She'll say, 'I had tea by the water with my neighbor.'

We had a laugh and let go of our troubles.'

As he listens he'll watch people out for the evening.

Then he'll see me.

He'll think, she's all dressed up, she's off to her dinner.

The woman will splash on aftershave after shaving him.

The living room will smell of lavender.

Then he'll ask for the mirror. The woman will be surprised.

Yavuz will take a long look at himself.

He'll ask himself...

"Will they come back tomorrow?"

Quiet, please! We're moving on to romance here!

"I'm so happy to know you and to have you in my life."

"I hope that we'll always be close..."

"and that your beautiful eyes will smile forever." Signed?

Sevgi!

Wait for this. Today our relationship was even praised...

by a parliamentary candidate.

A parliamentary candidate?

Serhat and I were in this cafe when a candidate turned up.

He's standing for re-election.

They were handing out campaign leaflets.

No way! The guys's been everywhere today.

He turned up at the cafe where I was!

The guy went out of his way to talk to every single person.

And when he found out we'd been married 21 years...

he made everyone in the cafe applaud us.

Ugh! That's just his style!

I can't stand the guy. I've seen him on TV a few times.

But he didn't seem such a bad guy.

No kidding! He's a total asshole.

When he got near my table, I made a run for the bathroom.

-What did you do? -I ran to the bathroom.

Just so he wouldn't shake my hand.

But later it came back to haunt me.

I thought about it all the way here.

I asked myself what Leyla would have done if it had been her.

What made you think of Leyla?

She's a poet. I figured she'd know what to do.

What would a poet do?

Not run to the bathroom like me, that's for sure.

When the guy held out his hand to her...

she'd say his hands were dirty...

she'd refuse to shake his hand and carry on eating.

You're saying a poet wouldn't worry about manners.

Why are you so hung up about it?

So what if you'd shaken his hand?

No. I refuse!

Poets live as the mood takes. How nice.

Who are you talking about?

Leyla. Look. She's sitting next to Ayșe.

You know she's become a poet.

Doesn't she have a job?

She was the only person in our class...

to get into law school. -She practiced law for a while.

And now she's become Miss Poetry!

Did you hear? She found herself a toy boy at 40 plus.

Seriously? So where is he? Didn't she bring him?

No. The guy's an actor.

Then he must be good-looking. May she enjoy!

She's doing the best possible thing.

Hey, I bet he doesn't have a belly either.

And I bet he has hair!

If only she'd brought him!

Now this sounds like serious gossip.

No more than you'd expect.

Listen, why did Leyla come alone?

You mean without her boyfriend? The guy's filming. He's an actor.

Leyla barely got here herself.

True. It's the first time she's been.

Amazing that she did.

Believe me, it took some persuading.

I told her taking the train would be novel.

She came by train?

I said nothing beat train travel. That's what persuaded her.

You're something else! So are you in touch?

Now and again.

Actually I stayed with her on my last trip.

She was supposed to come over this morning.

-But we rescheduled for tomorrow. -How come?

The train broke down.

They spent all night waiting in the cafe at some station.

One big adventure! Poets like that kind of thing.

Anyway, see you later.

-I need to do the rounds. -Don't forget us.

There's still tons to talk about.

Don't worry. The night is still young.

The teacher tells him to kiss her. No response.

The teacher prods him and says, 'C'mon, boy! Kiss her.'

He's paralyzed, red as a beet and staring at the girl.

By the girl I mean Leyla. She has no idea what's going on.

She's waiting for him to kiss her... with eyes closed and forehead held out.

At first we thought he was too embarrassed to kiss her.

But it was the pimples on her forehead. They'd grossed him out!

The teacher finally figured it out and told Kemal...

to stick his hand on Leyla's forehead and kiss the back of it!

-So you kissed your own hand? -Yes.

That's so mean. Think how upset the girl must have been.

She became a poet after that.

You haven't given us any of those.

Sorry about that.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Do the kids live with their mother?

Yes. They come to me at weekends.

Do they get along?

They were difficult at first, but they're used to it now.

Kids adapt to everything a lot faster than us, don't worry.

It was harder for the boy.

He began talking to himself all the time.

Ask who he's talking to and he says Volkan.

Ask who Volkan is and he says, 'You don't know him.'

We ended up taking him to a psychologist.

He's made up a fictional character called Volkan.

-Volkan is disabled. -Disabled? That's so weird.

The psychologist said the point was Volkan wouldn't go anywhere.

He didn't want Volkan leaving him.

Seriously? It sounds like your son has the makings of an artist.

The girl's stronger. She accepted the facts right away...

and got on with things. She's more pragmatic.

But the boy is super-sensitive. I don't know what we'll do.

What did the psychologist suggest?

That we let him talk.

Have you tried sitting him down for a man-to-man talk?

He won't talk.

He'll grow out of it, don't worry.

Friends! Nalan is now going to sing for us.

Yay! Nalan! Nalan!

What's up now, Ayșegül? Is there a problem?

No, nothing.

Are you bored?

I don't know anyone here.

There's no one I can talk to.

Did I really have to come?

You mean I should have come alone?

What's the problem with that?

OK, Ayșegül. Fine. Next year I'll come alone.

Where are you going?

To the bathroom. Where do you think?

There's some stress going on there!

I tell you, they won't last long.

And you? How's your love life? Has there been anyone since Ayhan?

I've hung up my boots in that department.

That way I have no stress.

So you're prepared to risk growing old alone.

I'm growing old with my mother.

You live together?

I had her move in with me last year.

Your mom was such an active woman.

You should see her now.

She sits there like a statue all day.

How do you take care of her? Did you hire a carer?

I had no choice. Otherwise who'd feed and change her when I'm at work?

You mean it's that bad?

Yes. I get up at 7.00. The carer comes at 8.00.

You don't know how precious that hour is between 7.00 and 8.00.

My mother's still asleep.

I just sit there in the living room doing absolutely nothing.

Then the carer comes.

I hurry to get ready.

I leave my mother in the woman's care.

I run to catch the work bus. I get in.

I go to work. I leave work. I take the work bus home.

I get home. The woman leaves.

I feed my mother. I change her.

I turn on the TV. I give her her medication.

And then me and my mother grow old together.

But you're only 42.

You're backing out of life.

This is the first night I've been out in five months.

No way! You'll make yourself ill.

I wasn't going to come actually. But as it's been 25 years.

Look, even Leyla's here.

Photo, photo! Mehlika, look over here. Zafer.

Smile, please. Great.

How we caught spring in your hair, remember

Friends! Are we going to meet here again in 25 years?

Yes!

Will we still be around in 25 years?

We'll only be 67. You'll have more of a belly...

and I won't have any hair, that's all.

But we aren't going to wait 25 years.

Ismail's had a fantastic idea.

He knows a hotel in Marmaris. He'll have a word.

The idea is we stay there together for a week.

What do you think?

Then the organization is in your hands, Ismail.

Sure, leave it with me.

OK, then. Time to be more serious.

As you know, we have a poet in our midst.

Now, suppose we ask our dear poet friend...

to read one of her poems?

Leyla, you won't disappoint us, will you?

I brought a few books with me for her to sign.

If any of you still haven't read her, I'd strongly urge you to.

Leyla sets out the meaning of life in her poems.

It's unfair to ask her to read one now.

If it's OK with you, I'd like to do the honors.

"The Pages of a Book".

"I see you as the wind"

"I see you straining the clothes line"

"We all want to grow old gracefully, my love"

"I see you turning the pages of a book"

"Put on some slippers"

"You're walking barefoot on the floor of things we know"

"We're chess players, my love"

"We're chess players stained with black"

"We don't believe in jackets and buttons"

"We don't believe in a future that casts aside calendars"

"There, we've lost all our pieces"

"The chessboard is scattered"

"Only the king is left, my love, and he's a married father of two"

"Words appear before us, my love"

"They break up our sleep all the way back to childhood"

"An anxiety that goes all the way back to childhood"

"We chase hollow birds"

"And we look for a reason to be angry with people"

"We find it that very Saturday"

"That very Sunday"

"They say life fills the hollows"

"Which is why people live even if they become ruins"

"But enough of being crushed, my love Let's pick some thyme"

"There are things we don't know how to value"

"Life rears like a horse at our door, my love"

"Yes, we mourn the passing days"

"Let's take to the road"

"Let's think: the walls of other days are more solid"

"Let's think: the streets of other days are more cheerful"

"The women and men of other homes are true heroes"

"As the net curtains flap at the window of other homes"

"Time withers us between the pages of a book"

"But I see you as the wind, my love"

"You read books at times from the beginning, at times the end"

"A glass of water at my bedside"

"You console me like a glass of water at my bedside"

So your turn finally came to show off your talent.

I suppose so.

-It's a beautiful poem, though. -Thanks.

Would you like some water?

No, thank you. But could you pass that mirror?

Should we leave the window open?

Yes, please.

But it's so windy.

It's Lodos, the southwest wind. That means it'll rain soon.

Now, go before it's too late. Don't get caught in the rain.

-What time is your train? -Half past three.

Good. It's still early. You'll make it in plenty of time.

You'll go straight to the station, won't you?

Yes.

Does the train go via Balèikesir or Afyon?

Afyon.

Does it still stop at every town?

It stops everywhere. It took 16 hours coming here.

Do you have to go to work tomorrow?

Yes. I'm on duty tomorrow.

And you, what will you do?

I don't know what I'll do tomorrow.

Do you have sleeper cabins?

I do, yes. Canan's in a couchette.

But we'll probably spend all night in the dining car.

Yes, the dining car is great!

The windows seem bigger there.

You're right. They do seem bigger.

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