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What is this item here?

That's, uh...

You know, like, uh,

Like a write-off.

know.

Uh... does it say marijuana?

Yeah.

But i'm a painter,

And i use it for, like...

Inspiration.

Inspiration and shit.

Okay, you're

A housepainter, brad.

Yeah, but honestly, i paint

Like, so much better

When i'm baked.

But you do realize that

Marijuana is illegal?

No. no, it's not.

I have a medical card thing.

Oh, a prescription.

Okay, for what?

have no peripheral vision.

Can't even see her.

Yeah, okay.

Um, okay, maybe i can find a way

To deduct some of it as

An uninsured medical expense.

But honestly, compared to--

What if we wrote it off

As a cost of good soul thing?

What are you talking about?

You know, for...

For the stuff we bought to sell

And not smoke ourselves.

Smoke ourselves.

Would that help?

No, brad, it wouldn't.

Hey, there's one more thing.

What is it, brad?

Someone else is scheduled for

The room.

Okay, look. we know you got

A flat fee, but we don't got

That kind of cash right now.

But we can pay you with part

Of this.

What is that?

It's the finest lebanese

Blonde, baby.

What?

It's hash.

know it's hash.

Hi, guys. you're overtime.

Hey, mick. hey, we are just

Finishing up.

Mm-hmm.

Your friend's cute.

Is she single?

No, she's engaged.

Sucks.

The desk. yes.

just get so nervous when

I keep the fuzz waiting.

Right...

That... that's your client?

Mm-hmm.

Hey, thank you so much.

Don't forget to take...

Thanks.

Imagine how frustrated he'll

Be when he finds out that

Doughnuts are an exemption.

Chop-chop. yeah, okay.

Need me to call you a cab?

No, it's okay, it's okay.

My roommate's picking me up.

Recorded voice:

the subscriber you are trying

to reach is not accepting calls

at this time.

Oh, fuck.

Hi, honey, you're home.

Hey, kris.

Where were you?

pick you up on thursday

Nights, right?

Today is thursday, tara.

Shit. with the restaurant

Being closed, i totally lost

Track of what day of the week

It was.

How'd you get home?

The bus. the fucking bus.

Eww. oh, my god.

Why didn't you just--

Call you? i did.

Your cell phone's been cut off.

Which is funny, because i

Remember giving you money

Last week to pay your cell bill.

can totally explain.

Right. kris. honey?

Fuck!

Yikes.

Hi.

I brought you a martini.

Here.

No?

Oh, my god.

You won't believe the mess that

Sammi's got herself into

This time.

It either involves men

Or money, and, oh, wait, let

Me guess; it's not her fault.

Am i right?

Come on, kris, she's not

That bad.

Not that bad? that bitch

Is a fucking disaster.

If we didn't need her help to

Pay rent, i'd have kicked her

Ass to the curb months ago.

' M sorry i didn't pick you

Up, kris.

I thought i had more time on

The phone.

Yeah, what happened to the

Phone money, tara?

I could've fixed my car.

know. i used it...

To buy this.

It's a lacoste.

Another knife?

Not just another knife.

It completes my set.

How's a chef supposed to get

A better job without a full set?

How's a chef supposed to get

Another job if no one can

Fucking call her?

was gonna put it on my

Card, and then it was overdrawn.

Tara, you know what?

You're my princess.

All right, you know this.

But i'm not your rich father,

And i can't afford to keep

Bailing you out.

Kris, i don't care about

That stuff; none of that stuff

Matters to me.

I'd be happy in a shack in the

Middle of nowhere with you.

Right. well, i've been there,

And trust me, you wouldn't last.

You'd just find someone like

Sammi to go bar-hopping with.

Is that what this is about?

You're pretty sexy when

You're jealous, kris.

' M not jealous.

I'm not jealous.

I'm just tired.

Oh. i know a good way to

Relax you.

Tara, stop it.

I told you i'm tired.

What if i put on the george

Michael mix?

No.

What if i put on the judas

Priest mix...

And i let you tie me up?

' M just gonna get some

Sleep.

' M not tired, so...

I'm gonna go back out there.

I mean, if i can't get laid,

I might as well get drunk,

Right?

Love you.

Love you, too.

Kris is so pissed at me.

What? she just left you

Like that?

All horny and hard up?

Yeah. she said it's tax

Season.

Oh, right.

Well, you know, i may be

Straight, but i can tell when

A girl needs a little help out.

Morning, sammi.

Hey, a question for you.

Whoa! fuck! what the fuck, karl?

What's up with you bitches

And goat cheese?

Sammi, your dumb-fuck

Boyfriend's cock is in my

Kitchen.

Good morning to you, too.

I don't understand why, if

You're into chicks anyway,

You get so uptight about me

Being natural.

don't care if you

Understand or not, karl.

When you're in my house, wear

Some fucking clothes.

Dude, put these on.

Thank you, sam--

Wow, wow. and i've got fucking

Adam and eve in my fucking

Kitchen.

What?

Being naked's the most

Natural thing in the world.

In fact, in other countries,

Like europe, they don't get all

Worked up over a dong swingin'

Here and there.

Shot? it's a peace offering.

Of tequila at 8:00 a.m.?

Question for you.

Oh, god, here it comes.

No, for reals.

What are you planning on doing

With that big old brick of hash

In your bag?

How the fuck did you know

About that?

could smell it from, like,

A mile away.

Fuck.

Buy it from you.

Name your price.

Uh... seven...

Hundred dollars?

Five.

Deal.

Just don't tell me you're gonna

Write me a fucking check.

Cash. cash for the hash.

( giggles ) cash for the hash.

Only thing is, i don't really

Have it on me right now.

Surprise motherfuckin' prise.

Follow me to pyrgos.

' M not up on my drug slang.

No, no, no. it's the greek

Place, third and spring.

They got the really good

Gyros there.

Okay, yeah, that's a couple

Of blocks away from work.

I need a lift anyway.

Cool. these cranberries in

This shit?

All righty, this is it.

Let me do the talking.

can't believe i'm trusting

You.

All right, hang back for

A second.

Hello, kostas.

Um, a girl's here with a 5k

Of hash.

She's good for, like, 500.

Ha ha!

Welcome, welcome!

This is kostas, he owns

The place.

Welcome.

Oh, you are so beautiful.

So beautiful.

Do you like a gyro?

What?

Gyro? gyro.

Yep, yep, yep. mm-hmm.

Good, good, good, good, good.

This is my place.

I tell you something.

Now is the morning.

You come back later.

I will give you free gyro, okay,

With the trimmings.

Because i love you!

Now, karl here says that, uh,

You have something for me.

What? here?

Shouldn't we go into an office

Or something?

This dining room is my

Office!

These are my people.

My family.

And i love them.

You know i'm not wearin'

A wire.

She watched me get dressed

This morning.

Um... here.

This...

Oh!

This is good shit.

This is primo.

Now then, my little beautiful

One.

This is the first time we do

Business together.

So... i'm not gonna give you

$100.

I am not gonna give you $200.

Because i like your face,

I am going to give you $500!

Is okay?

Yeah. yep.

Okay...

Okay.

Ha! good-bye now, my darling.

Please come back.

Right, that is $5,000?

Yeah.

Off the sum you owe,

But i want the balance.

Wait a second.

That was $5,000 worth of hash?

My darling, what do you

Think? you're going to go out

And sell it on the street

Yourself?

You're such a fucking

Asshole, karl.

This is not over between us.

Tell me, kris.

What?

Why do you hate men so much?

don't. i don't hate men,

Karl, just you.

Hey. good morning.

Hey, kris. late again.

Yeah. car's still broken

Down.

Listen, just don't, like,

Ruin it for the rest of us.

Excuse me.

It's tax season.

Hey, kris.

Oh, hi, mr. harley.

Doing good?

Yep, yep. just tired.

hear that.

I hear that.

I'll let you go.

It's just...

The rent.

Didn't you get my check?

I pushed it under your door

Last week.

No, i got it.

It's just...

Tara's check?

Tara's check.

$500?

$500.

Cash okay?

Oh, yes.

Good night.

Hello.

Tara?

Kris!

Tara, do you have any idea

What time it is?

Babe, i need to tell you

Something.

What, did you two mug

A hockey player?

Trust me, mugging a hockey

Player would be the least stupid

Thing i've done with sammi.

Check it out.

What the fuck?

Why are those canadian dollars?

They call 'em loonies up

There.

Oh, my god.

Tara, what did you do?

Tara:okay, we were in this

really shitty part of town--

Sammi:it wasn't that shitty.

it was pretty fuckin' shitty.

anyway, sammi needed a ride

home, so i picked her up, and

she invited me to this rave,

and i was, like,

Kris:a rave?

I know, i know, but just

listen, okay?

we must have gotten the

directions wrong, because we

found this instead.

Holy shit!

How do you know they were

All dead?

had to work in the abattoir

As part of my culinary training.

Trust me, i know what dead

Looks like.

don't know about this.

I don't know what to say.

Say "thank you, god, for

Delivering us a miracle."

Think about it, kris.

This is the answer to every

Prayer we've ever had.

Let's just hope so.

How much do you think

All of this is?

Okay, at the current exchange

Rate, that is about 3.1 million

American dollars, give or take.

Wait, hold on.

There's, like, a fake bottom

In this.

Ho! oh, my god! what?

Oh, yeah, it's a gun!

Jesus, sammi, sammi.

What?

Be careful with that.

Do either of you know anything

About guns?

Uh, yeah, of course.

I know they're fucking cool

As shit.

Okay, then no one touch it.

I don't want one of you to shoot

Yourself in the face.

Okay, here's what we do.

We go to mexico, obviously,

And we spend the rest of our

Lives gettin' tan, drinkin'

Margaritas and learning mexican.

Sammi, we cannot cross the

Border with a suitcase full of

Money.

Uh, why the fuck not?

I've been to tijuana.

They don't give a shit what you

Bring in to mexico.

Maybe, but if you're wrong,

Then we go to prison.

You have any idea what it's like

In a mexican prison?

No. uh-uh.

All right, so what do we do?

Honestly, i think we should

Take it back.

Back? what, no. are you

Fucking insane?

I am so sick and tired of people

Buying me shit because i have

Huge tits.

Yes, they're awesome tits, but

I wanna buy my own shit

For a change.

Now i can.

Do you understand what that

Does for me?

Has it not occurred to you

That someone out there is

Looking for this money right

Now?

You mean like the police?

mean like the homicidal

Drug dealer you bitches stole

It from.

Stop saying that.

We don't know that they were

Homicidal drug dealers or

Whatever, and you know what?

We didn't steal anything.

They were dead.

Are you not listening to

Anything i am fucking saying?

Even if every person in that

Warehouse was dead, there are

Going to be dozens more out

Combing the earth looking for

This cash right now.

And then there's the police.

Fuck, god only knows how much

Evidence you two left in that

Warehouse.

No, i told you, we were

Really careful.

Careful? give me a break.

A fucking drug dog could

Probably sniff sammi's perfume

To our front door.

Right, like i'm the only girl

In this town who wears paris

Hilton's "tease."

Fuck, i wish that were true.

If what you're saying is

True, then we should definitely

Not take it back, because there

Will either be, like, police,

Or evil drug dealer killers.

Yeah, okay, you're right.

We can't take it back.

got it.

We hide the money.

We put it away, we see if anyone

Comes, if anyone comes,

We play dumb, and if they don't,

We go back, we get it,

And we have it.

We can't hide it somewheres

Safe, okay?

What if one of us decides to go

Back and take the money, and

Then we're all just screwed.

Oh, come on.

Wait a minute, sammi's right.

Sammi's right?! i--

Wait a second. we have to

Find somewhere that we can put

The money where no one else

Can get to it without the

Other two.

You don't trust me?

don't trust her.

Ah, right back atcha, hon.

Okay, so here's what we

Can do.

I'll spend the next week

Figuring out how to get the

Money out of the country.

We put three locks on the door,

One for each of us, and wait.

When it seems like it's safe,

We'll all go back and get it

Together.

Tara: sounds good to me.

Kris: sammi?

Sammi: whatever.

What up, bitch?

Hey.

Why are you always so chipper?

I heard you and karl going at it

Till 5:00 in the morning

Last night.

Adderall. want some?

No. kris doesn't like it

When i take drugs.

They're not drugs.

They're prescription.

Oh. your prescription?

Someone's.

Whatever.

I don't understand how you can

Be with someone who's so

Controlling.

Because i love her,

And the angry ferret that seems

To have crawled up her ass

Recently.

ferret? i knew a guy

Who could do that with hamsters.

It was really hot.

What are you doing?

Pay attention to me.

Stop. i'm trying to balance

My checkbook.

It's not working for shit.

All right, fine.

Look, if you're not too busy

Figuring out e=mc2, do you think

Maybe you can pick me up

After work?

No, i have-- what?

have a dinner party i have

To do, and then...

Kris doesn't like it when i'm

Out late.

Oh, my god!

Um, is she your girlfriend or

Is she your mommy?

Why don't you ask karl?

would, but he's got

A gig tonight.

He's playing over at some

High school keg party.

And you have the nerve to

Give me shit about kris?

Why are you with that loser?

Look, he's, like, a...

He's like a classic car.

You know, he doesn't always work

When you want it to, but it's

Super sexy, so you drive it

Anyway, and, let me tell you,

He knows how to drive.

Ugh! please. stop.

Your breeder sex stories

Are making me nauseous.

Whatever. look, i'm working

The early shift, so i'll get off

By 11:00, and i'll pay you

The 20 bucks it would cost for

A cab, but they just smell so

Bad, and i feel like i'm walking

Inside of an std.

Please!

Fine. i can't believe i'm

So fucking broke that i'm

Picking you up from work

For money.

Just don't tell kris.

She's jealous of you for reasons

I cannot comprehend.

Oh, there are reasons.

All this is a reason.

Ew! you're so nasty.

All righty. have a rockin'

Time, old people.

When do you get off tonight?

Whenever you bend over.

My band's got a gig tonight,

So don't wait up for me, babe.

Remember, no means no.

What up, bitch?

Hey, one of these days,

You're gonna have to explain to

Me why eve wears a bob.

How was your night?

Ugh. if you promise not to

Ask me about it again, i'll

Share this $1,000 bottle of wine

With you.

Seriously? fuck, yeah.

Give me that.

Okay, so tell me again why

Is it that we're drinking

A $1,000 bottle of vino.

We agreed not to talk

About that.

Right. sorry.

I just, i don't know,

I don't understand why you're

Not, like, saving it to drink

With your girlfriend kris.

Because kris is asleep

Already, and i need alcohol now.

Oh, well, in that case,

I've got something convenient.

I was just invited to a rave.

Wanna come with?

rave?

Yeah. kris is already asleep,

So what are you gonna do?

Fine. fuck it. where is it?

Mmm... warehouse district.

I don't really know the exact

Address, but, you know, we can

Figure it out when we get there.

can't believe you're

Drinking a $1,000 bottle of wine

With a blow pop.

All right, wait.

Ow, i think i broke a tooth.

Freak your mouth out.

Okay.

So instead of paying me,

They give me this thousand

Fucking dollar bottle of wine.

It's ridiculous.

don't think this is

The rave.

Maybe they're shooting a movie.

Oh, my god, maybe we can

Be in it.

Hi.

Sammi, sammi.

Holy shit.

Come on. we have to go.

Wait, what's that?

Is that real money?

Sammi, we need to go.

There might be more of them.

What if that's money?

Sammi...

Ew. come help me.

Ew. oh, god. ew.

This is so heavy.

Jesus christ, sammi!

Will you help me?

Oh, eww!

He's looking at me.

It's money, it's money.

Wait.

It's fine, it's fine.

You can't even see it.

Okay, come on.

Oh. oh, yeah!

Okay, you stay here.

I'm gonna get the car.

Whoa. fuck you!

Fuck you. i am not staying here.

Someone has to stay with

The money, sammi.

Then you stay here and--

Fuck that. the last time you

Used my car, you backed into

A pole.

Okay, well, i'm not fucking

Staying here by myself.

Fine. go get the car.

Jesus! oh, dingbat, you need

The fucking keys.

Well, give me the--

Oh, really? that's smart.

Hurry. i'm going!

You've never had to run with

Boots before.

Oh!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

What?

hate you.

I hate you so much.

Why?

Because you always do

This shit.

Ow. ow, ow.

Oh, my god.

Just get the hell

Out of my car.

Okay.

You don't have to be so pushy.

Stop goofing around.

Get your ass in the car. get in!

Kris!

Tara, do you have any idea

What time it is?

Babe, i need to tell you

Something.

What the fuck?

Tara, what did you do?

You shouldn't have taken

That money.

God, if i get mixed up in

Anything, you know what's

Gonna happen to me.

Oh... look, sammi wanted

To keep it between ourselves,

But i wasn't about to.

This money is for us.

I mean, think about it.

We can move to, like, a little

Beach somewhere, and open a tiny

Restaurant.

It would be so great.

I'll totally cook, you'll...

You'll run the place.

Oh, god.

To do the books for just one

Little place.

No old ladies with boxes of

Receipts.

Like a fairy tale.

Fairy tales just don't

Happen.

You're wrong, kris.

They can.

Whatever happens,

You cannot lie to me.

Okay? if we can't trust each

Other...

can trust you, and you can

Trust me.

I promise.

Okay.

Thank you, miss petrie.

Is there anything else i can do

For you today?

Oh, sorry. um...

This says my balance is $5.42.

Is that before my deposit?

No, ma'am, your account

Was overdrawn.

Oh. okay.

One more question.

I have a canadian friend

In town from canada, and she

Has some canadian money, and she

Needs to exchange it.

Can she do that here?

Of course, ma'am. just send

Her in, we'll take care of her

For you.

Oh! and is there a limit

To how much she can exchange

At a time?

We have a $3,000-a-day limit

At this branch.

Wow. thank you.

Thank you. thank you!

Hey!

Tara, jesus christ. what?

Come here. i need to tell you

Something.

Karl: leave us alone!

Hi. come here.

Look, we have to go.

We have to go do something,

And we gotta do it now.

Wait, no. i...

No, you're really gonna

Like it, trust me.

See, the thing is, kris is

Just too uptight for her own

Good.

Thank you, captain obvious.

That still doesn't explain what

The hell we're doing here.

We're here because i'm tired

Of working my ass off and

Getting nothing in return.

Life is meant to be lived.

Right. so you're saying...

What are you saying?

What i'm saying is

That what kris doesn't know

Won't hurt her.

Nice. i like that.

Okay. ha!

Hey, where did you learn

How to do that?

Boarding school.

We used to steal liquor from

The teachers' lounge.

guess that's one thing you

Can't learn in public school.

Now we're only taking

A little, and we can't buy

Anything that anyone

Will notice.

Okay.

Wow. uh...

Hey, babe.

Tara, what did you do?

Okay, don't get upset.

I got a card in the mail from

My dad, and inside was a check

For three grand.

Why? i thought he disowned

You, like, five years ago

When you came out.

don't know. the card was

Empty, so...

Okay. you didn't think you

Could use this little windfall

For, i don't fuckin' know,

Um, rent?

Rent? babe, come on.

It's really good that we're

Being careful and everything,

But our lives are about to

Change, and i think we should

Celebrate.

Don't you want to celebrate

With me?

Yeah. yeah.

Love and happiness forever.

Whoo!

knew you could be fun.

You party like a rock star

When you leave your ass stick

At home.

told you she was fun.

Trust me, sammi, if anyone

Here has an ass stick, it's you.

Yeah, i want one.

I want one.

Want one what, babe?

Wow, speak of the devil.

Man, that is good.

What happened to your hand,

Karl?

Band-related injury.

Set my guitar on fire.

I'm that bad-ass.

Oh, baby, that musta hurt.

could use a little bit

Of medicine.

What do you say, kris, huh?

Little bit of medicine, huh?

Me? yeah.

Like that super motherfucking

Shit stone brick of kind-ass

Hash you sold kostas.

What are you talking about,

Karl?

Why do you always make up lies?

ain't makin' this up.

She didn't tell you about

The thc?

Kris, what are you...?

Come on, like 5k worth of

The purest lebanese blonde.

This shit was good.

I had to help her move it

With my guy.

She knows quality, but she don't

Know shit about selling.

Kris, what are you...?

That's just... i think we've

Had about enough fun for one

Night.

You goin' to get it?

Are they goin' to get it?

Baby, i think i know a way

That i can make you feel better.

Oh, yeah!

Sounds like he brought his

Ass stick.

Fucking karl should not

Be here.

Oh, what's wrong?

You're afraid i'll find out

More of your drug deals?

Tara, come on. i told you

It wasn't like that.

No, no, i know.

It was just some stoner tax

Client who left you with

No choice. i get it.

I just didn't think we had

Any secrets.

It wasn't a secret, tara.

I didn't... i didn't think

It would concern you.

But sammi... sammi can't keep

A fucking secret.

Sammi's not gonna spill

The beans.

Yeah, are we talking about

The same sammi?

What is wrong with you?

What are you so upset about?

Maybe...

Maybe because you stole money

Out of the case, and you didn't

Tell me about it.

You knew and didn't

Say anything?

Yeah, i just...

I thought maybe you were

Right about me, and i needed

To loosen up a bit.

You heard me say that?

No, i just know that...

You said that about me?

didn't...

Wow. you know what, tara?

I know you think i'm too

Uptight, but i get an extra

15 years if i get caught.

know.

Kris.

Damn it, kris. please.

Kris, i'm sorry.

Tara? what?

It's me.

What are you doing outside?

Oh, i walked karl to the

Car, and then got a paper,

But i forgot my key.

So, what?

Is there anything you wanna

Tell me?

Oh.

Kris is so upset at me.

I can't talk about it right now.

She's still in the shower.

Uh, nope. that's not

What i was talking about.

You sure there isn't maybe

Something else you wanted

To say?

Oh, my god. what?

They found the warehouse.

Tara, they found the fucking

Warehouse.

What? come here, look.

Oh, my god.

Oh, no.

They didn't find anything.

Look, they didn't find anything.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Jesus. that's really

Aggressive.

What the hell?

Come here, bitch!

Where's the other dyke?

She left for work.

Lie to me again, bitch,

And i'll blow your fucking

Head off! now where's the other

Fucking dyke?

Hey, asshole, i'm right here.

What the fuck?

Drop it.

Drop it or i'll cut her throat.

Sammi, go get a mop and clean

Up the blood so no one sees.

What's up?

Why are your titties ignoring

Me?

Can i trust you, karl?

Course you can, babe.

You're my billy joe

To my bobbi sue.

don't know what you just

Said, but i, like, really...

Like, really need to be able

To trust you.

just said you could.

What's up, buttercup?

Tara and i, we kinda sorta...

Found...

One million dollars!!

What do ya mean, sorta found?

Well, it was, like, a drug

Deal gone bad, or something.

It's not important.

The point is, is we found

A bunch of dead guys, and then

We took... borrowed, stole...

Whatever, this huge bag of

Money.

All right, then. let's pack

Up and go to mexico like

Tonight.

That's what i said.

But kris was being all fucking

Controlling like she always is,

And she said that we can't

Just bring that much money

Across the border, 'cause if we

Get caught, they'll arrest us

And put us in some mexican--

No, no, no.

They only check on the way out.

On the way in, you can probably

Have a nuclear bomb in

A handbag, they won't even

Notice.

know. i said that, too.

I an so smart.

But kris is making us wait to

See if anyone's gonna come

Looking for it.

What do you mean, she's

Making you? she's not the boss

Of you, is she?

No. no one's the boss of me.

But she said it's really hard

To exchange canadian money

Into real money or something

Like that.

Canadian money, huh?

Yeah, i don't know about all

That.

I'm pretty sure they just use

Regular money in canada.

Uh, no. it's canadian.

It has a picture of canada

On it, and it says "canada."

It's canadian.

Why were the drug dealers

Using canadian money in america?

don't fucking know, karl.

I didn't ask the dead guys.

Tara: hey.

Tara! come here.

I need to tell you something.

Ugh!

Leave us alone.

Hi. um, oh, my god.

Look, we have to go.

We have to go do something,

And we gotta do it now.

Hi. i brought my friend.

She's canadian.

Excuse me, but you can't

Drink that in here.

Oh, sorry, eh.

Canadians.

hey, baby.

Karl, it's me.

Can you come to privilege?

I'm bored and lonely.

There's free booze.

' 'm there, mama.

What happened to your hand?

Band-related injury.

Set my guitar on fire.

I'm that bad-ass.

Oh! oh, yeah.

Give it to me.

Give it to me harder.

Oh, i want more. oh, yeah!

Oh, take me, take me all the

Way to the north pole.

Be my santa.

You want santa claus?

Yeah, i want santa claus.

How's that for the north

Pole?

''ve been a bad girl, santa.

You're so bad.

''ve been a bad girl.

Oh, you like that?

' 'm bringin' the thunder, baby.

you like the thunder?

oh, yeah.

I love it. oh, give me it.

give me more.

I want rainbows.

oh, pull my hair.

yeah. oh, yeah. spit on it.

Hey, wake up.

Get out, get out.

Hi. hi.

We gonna have real sex now?

No. even better.

We're goin' to the hardware

Store.

Get up!

Sounds kinky.

Why couldn't we just actually

Had real sex until they fell

Asleep?

Because you always pass out

After sex, karl.

Okay, so just cut the lock.

Let's see who's dumb now.

What's wrong, karl?

Just cut it.

That's what i'm fucking

Trying to do.

Well, try fucking harder,

Or do i need to go find someone

Who's younger and stronger

And hotter to do this?

That's a lot harder than it

Looks on tv.

Yeah, well, toughen up,

Buttercup, 'cause you still got

Two more locks to cut.

Two? what you talkin' about?

You got a key to one.

Yeah, but if their locks are

The only ones that are cut,

They'll know it was me who took

The money, won't they, duh?

Who gives a shit?

We'll be in mexico by then.

Oh, my god. okay, just give

Me the freakin' thing--

Stay the fuck back, okay?

I got this.

What are you doin'?

Why are you laughing?

What are you doing?

' M gettin' down and dirty.

Isn't that the way you like it?

Um... okay. just get it open.

Motherfucker, come on!

Whoo!uno mas.

Whoo! out of the way, babe.

Get out of my way.

Here we go.

You can do it, baby.

You're so strong.

I can see it.

Ha! yeah, motherfucker!

( squeals ) see, aren't you

Happy we didn't have sex now?

You needed to save your

Strength.

Good call, baby.

Ooh, you're so sweaty.

Okay, open it up, open it up,

Open it up, open, open.

Open, open, open.

don't get it.

Where's the money?

Hey, where's the fucking money?

don't fucking know, karl!

Oh, goddamn it!

Apparently, the fucking, lying,

Cheating bitch-face tara

Came back and took it.

God, that smart-aleck,

Two-timing traitor.

Oh, oh, she stole the money

Before you could steal it first.

Oh, my god, that's good.

It is not fucking funny,

Karl. stop laughing!

No shit, sparkles.

You're not the one who just

Dropped a nut trying to open

An empty locker.

cannot fucking believe

She would do this to me.

Goddamn it!

How do you know it was her

And not the other one?

Uh, i saw her pick one lock.

She could easily pick two locks,

Now, couldn't she?

Take me home. i'm gonna go kill

That fucking bitch.

Wait up, darlin'.

I got a better idea.

Just relax now.

Do like we talked about, and

Everything's gonna be fine.

''ve never done anything

Like this before.

You still ain't gonna do

Nothin' like this; i am.

All's you gotta do is be your

Usual sunny little self.

Soon as we know where the money

Is, we'll go get it, get the

Fuck outta dodge, okay?

Yeah, 'cause i'm so sunny

Right now.

Listen, we don't have to do

This if you don't want to.

But if it was me, i'd be

Pretty fuckin' pissed.

They wouldn't even have this

Money if it wasn't for you.

Yeah. you're right.

I'm just taking back what's mine

In the first place.

They think they're so much,

Like, smarter than me.

Exactly. you're just rightin'

A wrong that was done to you

Before you could do a wrong

To them first.

Huh?

Doesn't matter.

Just take a moment, clear

Your chakras, get in the zone.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah? i like that.

You there? uh-huh.

All right. you ready?

Yeah.

You go, girl.

Tara.

What?

It's me.

What are you doing outside?

Oh, i walked karl to the car

And then got a paper, but

I forgot my key.

Right here.

How does she know

How to do that?

Doesn't matter. just be

Grateful that she did,

Otherwise, we'd both be dead.

No. no, no, no, no, no.

That's not good enough,

Okay, tara?

People don't just know how to

Fucking execute people.

Sammi...

Do you know what that means?

That means that we're

Witnesses.

People don't just let witnesses

Lay around so that they can

Snatch on them.

Snitch.

There's a reason she knows how

To use a gun.

Yeah, yeah, like maybe she's

An enforcer for the mob.

For the mob!

That's probably where she went.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god, yeah.

She probably went back to the

Mob, and she's going to get

More bullets, and now she's

Gonna fucking kill us, too.

Relax, okay?

You're right. it wasn't the

First time she's killed someone.

Oh, my god.

I fucking knew it.

I fucking knew it.

All right.

I probably shouldn't tell you

This, but when kris was five,

Her mother married this guy,

And she was raised in this

Survivalist camp.

What the fuck is

A survivalist camp?

You know, like, white power,

Guys in the hills, hoarding

Guns.

She grew up with these

Religious nuts in this

Community.

Oh, my god. oh, fuck, fuck.

Well, the brainwashing didn't

Stick, and, you know, plus being

Into girls and all, they didn't

Have a lot of tolerance

For that.

Anyways, she escaped, but

She killed three of them.

The judge said it was

Extenuating circumstances,

So she didn't have to do

That much time.

Kris is a trained fucking

Killer.

That makes a lot of sense,

Actually.

am only telling you this

Because...

Look, it is her deepest,

Darkest secret, and if she

Ever finds out that i told you,

She will be so upset with me.

Of course i'm not gonna say

Anything to her about this.

Okay.

Aren't you afraid?

Of what?

Of her.

Kris and i love each other.

Why would i be afraid of her?

Then why did you fucking go

Back and take the money?

What the hell are you

Talking about?

Oh, please. i'm not dumb,

So don't treat me like i am.

I went back last night to take

The bag, but you had already

Gotten there.

You went back to take the

Money, and it was gone?

Oh, my god. really?

I know that you took the money.

Just admit it.

She didn't take the money,

Sammi. i did.

What?

Kris, what are you saying?

' M saying, i knew she

Couldn't be trusted.

By the way, you've been lying to

Me; i knew you couldn't be

Trusted either.

You fucking bitch!

Sammi, your job is clothes.

I need you to pack us one bag

Of essentials each.

Since your friends at the

Warehouse clearly know where

We live, we're not gonna be

Coming back here.

Don't pack too much that they

Would know that we left.

We don't want them to think--

No, you are going to tell me

Where the fucking bag is--

You do not wanna fuck with me

Right now.

How did you open the locks?

made copies of your keys

Before i gave you your locks.

Here, help me with this.

So you didn't trust me

To begin with.

Yeah, and you proved me

Right.

Time to put your abattoir skills

To work.

Grab your knives, follow me.

( quietly ) fuck.

All right, tara, start with

The bigger joints, and then

Work down.

got this, kris.

Do something about the back

Splatter.

Get in here.

I can keep the body still while

Tara cuts, but i need you to

Help soak up the blood that's

Getting on the floor.

Oh, god.

This is not over between us.

Tell me, kris.

What?

Why do you hate men so much?

don't. i don't hate men,

Karl, just you.

God, she wants me so fuckin'

Bad.

Oh, yes, yes, i can tell.

You know, i grew up not far

Away from the isle of lesbos.

That sounds real nice.

Right. now listen, fuck face!

Where's the rest?

God, it's so spooky when

You switch like that.

Yeah? you oughta count

Yourself real privileged, son,

Because i've let you see my

True nature.

Now where is it?

Where's what? ow!

Get in the kitchen!

just did 5k.

That's good for a payment,

Right?

5k buys you two days, lad.

I want the balance of

The 50 grand by the weekend.

This weekend? come on,

Kostas, i can't...

I mean, you fuckin' serious?

Am i fuckin' serious?

George, do you think i'm

Fuckin' serious?

There you are.

George thinks i'm serious.

Now you answer me a little

Question, young man.

When you bash the bishop,

Do you favor the sinister

Or the dexter?

What? i don't know.

Left or right-handed?

' M right-handed.

I'm fuckin' right-handed.

Get that away from me.

Do his left hand.

What are you doing?

You're not... you're not.

Come on, kostas, i have the

Money, i can get it.

George, what are you doing?

I can get the money. no, no!

Ah, ah, ah, yeah.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Fuck, fuck.

Ah! heal, motherfucker.

One million dollars!

Let's pack up and go to

Mexico, like, tonight.

You lookin' at this piece.

See, this is more your style.

15 in the mag, one in the pipe,

Baby, that's right.

Can i hold it?

Yeah.

That's a taurus.

like that; it's heavy.

Yeah, it's real heavy.

What you think?

How much for this bad-ass

Sucker?

$1,200. $1,200.

Special today, baby. special.

Do you have anything for,

Like, a hundy?

hundred dollars?

Yeah, like 100 bucks, cash.

Look, this is my own personal

Drop piece.

Okay, this is a .38 special.

All right?

See that? now, clean.

You do that in front of someone,

That'll scare 'em enough.

Got that pink grip, man.

That's the pink.

You gotta fix your hand, man.

What happened to that?

Caught something playin'

Nunchucks.

Hey, baby.

can you come to privilege?

I'm bored and lonely.

there's free booze.

' M there, mama.

All right, i gotta go.

Lady's callin' ya, huh?

That was my lady indeed.

I'll be back for that gold one.

You gonna come back for it?

''ma put it aside for you,

Man.

' M about to make some money.

don't wanna know the

Details; don't ask, don't tell.

All right, karl.

If anyone here has an ass

Stick, sammi, it's you.

want one, i want one.

Want one what?

Speak of the devil.

Man, that is good.

What happened to your hand,

Karl?

Band-related injury.

Set my guitar on fire.

I'm that bad-ass.

Hey, where's the fucking money?

Take me home.

I'm gonna go kill that fucking

Bitch.

got a better idea.

All right, babe, you stay here.

So i could still get it, no

Problem, just, i need some help,

Is the only thing.

You're making this up as you

Go along.

Dude, it's not like that.

I got a fuckin' plan.

Oh, well, do share

This fucking plan.

Nothing. i'm just gonna

Rough up a couple of lesbos.

You know the one that was in

Here with the good product?

That chick's been holdin' out on

Me with some cash that's fuckin'

Mine.

He needs help to rough up

A couple of girls.

Look, who says i need help

To rough 'em up?

I just need to borrow, like,

Two guys for two hours.

Why should i help you?

Because...

To be honest here,

I don't know another way to

Get your money.

I mean, not by this weekend,

Is what i'm sayin'.

And... and, because if you give

Me two guys, i'll fuckin' double

Your money, is what i'll do.

$100,000.

Yep.

This weekend.

Tomorrow even.

Fine. lars, felipe.

No, no, not now.

Tomorrow morning.

Early.

see the hand is getting

So much better.

Just remember...

The feet hurt so much more.

Tomorrow morning.

This fuckin' asshole better

Show.

Why the fuck are we doin'

This anyhow?

You're doing it because

I fucking told you to.

So how do we play it?

You go with him, you

Frighten the girls,

You see if they've got anything

Worthwhile, and you take it.

Karl's not gonna let us--

Fuck karl!

You know what? if a horrible

Little accident happened to karl

Today, it would not trouble me

One little bit.

What does that mean?

It means we're gonna kill

Karl and take the money,

Dumb fuck.

Oh, god.

Your lack of subtlety

Astonishes me.

Buenos morning-o, amigos.

We ready to dance or what?

That's what i'm talkin' about.

Pop it up top.

Nope. body blow, body blow.

You ready? ball tickle.

Like that? nope. throat jab.

Kostas, you're the man.

Let's go! hey, you're a good

Businessman, you're gettin'

Yourself rich here.

I like your plants.

George, you can suck your mom's

Balls. let's go.

George, sometimes i think

That everyone, and i mean

Everyone, is a fucking dick.

You ready? yeah.

You go, girl.

Oh, my god.

Jesus christ.

See? told you this was

Gonna be easy.

So how long we gotta

Wait, man?

Just give it a few minutes,

Felipe. ain't no hurries.

No, no, i'm lars.

That's felipe.

Whatever. here ya go.

No, no, no. no, i like to

Keep sharp for this shit.

Come on, don't be a pussy.

Just three little girls.

Two. what?

Two. your girl's on our side,

So two, right?

Look, if an unfortunate

Accident happens, and i hope it

Doesn't, and ya know,

Someone gets shot, and i hope

They don't, if sammi dies,

And i hope she doesn't,

Well, guess what? i wouldn't

Give a fuck about it.

Wait, what are you saying?

You want us to kill your girl?

No, no, no.

She's a great fuck.

But if i didn't have to share

The money with her, i wouldn't

Cry about it. puff, puff.

It'll be good to get that

Greaseball kostas off my back.

No offense to your boss, but he

Is a real mean fuckin' person.

Yeah.

Greaseball means italian.

Kostas isn't italian.

No, greaseball, like,

From greece.

It means italian.

That doesn't make a fuck

Of sense.

He's right. greaseball

Means italian.

Fine. whatever. guido.

Wop. dago.

Dago, wop, guido are all

Italian.

Well, what the fuck you call

A greek?

don't think there are any

Ethnic slurs for greek people.

Well, there should be.

Fuckin' greeks.

Yeah.

It's time.

You boys ready?

Both: yes.

All fuckin' right.

What the hell?

Where's she goin'?

Hmm.

Fuckin' hmm.

What is it with chicks?

Pack half a house...

Where the fuck are those

Assholes?

And one spanakopita starter.

Is fine.

Yes, very good, the water.

One moment, one moment.

Any luck?

Lars, felipe?

Gimme karl.

karl time, put it on it.

Listen to me, you dipshit.

This is the lunchtime rush.

The lunchtime rush is sacred.

Where are my men?!

I am one bartender and one

Waiter short, and i myself

Am having to serve tables like

Some damn dipshit unemployed

Actress! get back to me!

rollin'...

Rollin' down the river

Gonna get me some money

From three dumb bitches ♪

Oh, oh, okay.

Here we go. finally.

Got some action cookin' here.

What have we got?

Where you girls going?

Here we go.

Oh, yeah.

That money better be out

Here, or i'm gonna kill these--

Kris: sammi, why aren't you

Digging?

The faster we dig, the faster

We get the hell outta here.

Why are they burying it?

What is this chick, a pirate?

What are you...

Sammi, be steady,

For fuck's sake.

Jesus, sammi!

Oh, shit.

Lars and felipe are in bags.

That's lars and felipe

In bags.

Oh, my god!

Oh, yeah. oh, my god.

You're a frickin' genius.

You're a genius, you're so...

Oh, you're a genius.

Guess who's on video now,

Crazy, fucked-up psycho bitches.

I got your asses.

Huh? looksy-lou.

Looksy here.

See me? i see you.

Now i see you close.

I see you all close up.

You like that?

That doesn't work.

Come on.

Oh, where you goin' now?

Where you goin', where you

Goin'?

No, no. don't go.

Stay there. don't...

All right, gentlemen, this is

The situation.

That rat bag karl, whom you all

Know and loathe,

Has disappeared, along with

Our esteemed colleagues, lars

And felipe.

Now we are going to search

Every dive in this bloody town

Until we find him, and then,

You are going to stamp

His nuts off.

As a great greek once said,

"Cry havoc, and let slip

The dogs of war."

Jesus, sammi, kris said to

Pack the essentials.

We're not going to a strip club.

Shut the fuck up, tara.

Look, if i'm gonna die, i'm

Gonna look really, really

Fuckin' hot when i do.

And i brought disguises.

Disguises? we're not spies,

Dingbat.

No, she's right. we need to

Change our appearances.

Oh.

That's right. i'm right.

don't know where he

Went, man.

More kicking.

All right.

Where are you hot bitches?

Bingo.

There the fuck you are.

That bag must be my cash.

Damn, i kinda like the hair.

If they didn't just bury some

Chopped-up dudes in the woods,

I'd go for a lesbo sandwich.

Okay, sammi, let's get you

Your ticket and get you

On the road. where to?

What the fuck are you

Talking about?

You're not gonna stay here

Where people are looking for

You, are you?

Whoa. whoa.

Are you, like, cutting me loose?

Yeah. yeah, you can't be

Trusted, so...

We're gonna give you your share.

You can do whatever you want,

But tara and i are leaving town.

Huh. really?

Fine.

Fuck it. whatever.

Fuck you, fuck you.

Just give me my fucking half,

And then i'll be gone.

What? half? fuck, no.

No, we've been through way too

Much to give you more than

Your share.

Uh, bitch, my share is half.

You weren't at the fucking

Warehouse, and it's not my

Fault that there's two of you.

Sammi, i'm gonna tell you--

No, fuck you! fuck you!

Don't even try to fucking

Threaten me, okay, 'cause i'm

Not as dumb as you think,

And i'm not fucking scared of

You anymore, all right?

Fuck you! i am so sick of

Your fucking shit.

Even if you were some kind of

Fucking crazy paramilitary,

White trash, jesus freak fucking

Terrorist bitch, or whatever

The fuck you are.

You told? yeah.

You promised me.

Kris...

She was freaking out.

I had to tell her.

When you killed those guys...

Tara, what the fuck?

You brought blood money into

My house without even a thought

For my probation.

And then, you stole some of that

Money behind my back, and lied

To me about it.

And to top it all off,

You talked about my past--

The one thing i fucking

Begged you never to talk about.

And what, to sammi?

To fucking sammi?!

know.

God, i'm so sorry, kris.

I did... i mean, sammi and i

Never meant for this to happen.

can't do this anymore.

What?

Come on.

We will divide the money

By three, and we'll all go

Our separate ways.

What?! no, no.

Kris, i'm sorry.

Tara, you heard me.

Would you shut that fucking

Phone up? i'm trying to think.

It's karl. would you stop

Fucking calling me?

I'm kind of in the middle--

You know where lars and

Felipe are?

'cause i do.

Yeah, you better put on kris.

He wants to talk to you,

Kris.

Why the fuck would i want

To talk to that douche bag

Right now?

think you really better.

You were my fucking friend.

What do you want?

wanna release all this

Sexual tension and just go

Fuck each other's brains out.

God.

Nah, i'm just fuckin'

With ya.

I want the money.

All of it.

don't know what you're

Talking about, karl.

Come on, man. you killed lars

And felipe and buried them

In the woods.

In fact, i videoed you crazy

Bitches puttin' 'em in holes,

So don't fuck with me, dyke.

You understand?

Yeah.

Goody.

Now meet me at eden.

It's closed; go in the back.

Get there now.

If i don't see your sweet ass

In 15 minutes, i will go to

The cops.

oh, and, bitch,

If you fuck with me,

You will reap the whirlwind.

That i guaran-fuckin-tee.

He's got video of us burying

Lars and felipe.

Lars and felipe? how does

He know the... names?

You set us up?!

No, i didn't.

Okay, i told karl about

The money. i'm sorry.

She told karl about

The money!

It doesn't matter.

Of course it matters.

It doesn't. all we had to

Fucking do was trust each other.

Tara, you and i couldn't even

Manage that.

Kris...

Karl wants the money, so

Let's go fucking find him,

And then, i never wanna see

Either of you ever again.

Kris!

Ow, tara! don't be

Such a bitch.

Deejay time.

Hey, karl, we're here.

Karl.

( over p.a. )welcome,

bitches, to my domain.

Wow, i work here, too,

Jackass.

We saw your car parked

Behind the dumpster.

Isn't it supposed to be hidden?

fuck! i mean, no. now get

your asses on the stage.

What?

now!

Oh, fuck!

All: karl!

Now we can't see.

that's the point, dingbats.

' 'm on the p.a. so my voice

is coming from every direction.

you have no way of detecting

where its true location is

coming from.

How did you know...?

Everyone knows the p.a.

Is in the sound booth,

Shit-for-brains.

Holy cow!

Jesus!

Right back atcha, babe.

Now, throw your gun off

The stage.

Do it!

Good girl.

Now the bag of cash.

Fuck off, karl. you're not

Getting shit until you give me

The video.

Karl...

okay, i'm here, i'm here.

See, the problem is, that it's

Not exactly on tape.

It's on my cell phone.

Okay, then give me your

Cell phone.

Fuck that. i have all my

Friends' numbers and stuff--

Karl, you're about to have

$ million, bitch.

Buy a new cell phone and buy

New friends.

Three million? i thought

It was only one million.

Well, i guess she lied to

You, too; it's three.

Now give me the fucking phone.

Okay, i'm comin' down.

Don't try anything.

Signing off.

Stay there. don't move.

I'm still aiming my gun at you.

Don't move.

Got it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Give me the money.

Throw down the bag.

Throw up the phone.

got the gun.

You sent dumb and dumber

Into our apartment with a gun,

Too, jerk-off.

Damn it.

Tara, get the bag ready.

On three, okay?

Okay, three.

I gotta get my phone.

One, two...

Oh, it's...

Three.

Oh, you son of a bitch.

Sammi, is that really

Karl's phone?

Yeah, this is it.

All right, we're even

Fuckin' steven.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. where do

You think you're goin'?

' M goin' with you, babe.

You're my bobby joe to

My betty and veronica, or

Whatever, something like that

You said. remember, you said--

Bitch, at this point in

Our relationship, i think it's

Time to see some other people.

What? whoa, whoa.

Are you breaking up with me?

Peace out, bitches.

Karl!

Oh, shit.

Kostas!

Fuck, dude, what are you

Doin' here?

Who are these guys?

Just criminals and stuff.

Where is my money?

Where are lars and felipe?

Dude, you were totally gonna

Be my next stop.

Got your 100k right here.

Son, if that is just money,

That's more than 100k.

Well, yeah--

Now where are lars and

Felipe?

Karl killed them.

She's a liar.

So he wouldn't have to give

You your money.

Ah, bollocks to all this.

I haven't got the time to sort

This out.

Kill 'em all.

All right, you get the girls.

I'll get karl.

Karl!

Get up!

Shit! okay, come on, baby.

Baby, we gotta get going.

Come on.

Coming, karl.

Ready or not.

Don't shoot!

' M coming for you, karl.

Come on, baby. come on.

Here, here.

Come here, come here.

Hold this here, tight.

Put pressure on it.

Come on.

I know, i know.

Come on, get in there.

Fuck you, greaseball!

Greaseball means italian.

Did you know that the english

Language has a number of

Derogatory epithets that cover

Almost every race and nation

On earth, but here's a thought

I want to leave you with.

There is no derogatory epithet

For greek.

Whatever, dude.

Bugger me. if it's not

One thing, it's another.

Put my money down!

Get on your knees.

You fucking shot her!

It's okay, it's okay.

It's okay, it's okay.

It's okay, it's okay.

It's okay, it's okay.

Come on. okay, okay.

Careful, careful, okay?

It's okay, it's okay.

It's okay. careful, sweetie.

I know, i know.

Just lean on me.

Lean on me.

You're okay.

Come on, darlings, come on.

Nice and gentle now.

' M so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Shut up!

All right, that's close

Enough.

Where's george?

Ugly guy, short on words?

Yeah, that's george.

Yeah, we killed him.

You killed george?

You killed him?!

Listen, sweetie, i don't give

A flying fuck about the rest of

These people, but george

I liked.

' M sorry. i really wish

I hadn't have--

Shut up!!

Please. please.

It's going to be very harda

To replace george.

' M sorry about this,

But the code demands that

I take revenge for george.

Nothing personal.

An eye for an eye.

Now listen to me very carefully.

I am out of here with my money,

Unless you really wanna

Make a point.

Thought not.

She got us into this,

And she nearly got us killed.

She didn't deserve this.

Kris.

Oh, fuck, baby.

No, no.

It's so cold.

know. just wait.

Wait. just wait, okay?

Tara, i need you to fight

For me.

Fight for us, baby.

Come on, fight for our dream.

The money...

Baby, don't worry about that.

' M sorry.

know, baby.

' M so sorry.

I am sorry.

Tara, don't you worry about

That, okay?

We're gonna be together,

Okay? you just please

Stay with me.

We're gonna have our fairy tale

In mexico, okay?

And we'll be together.

I just need you to stay with me,

Please.

Tara, please. i love you

So much it hurts.

Please.

love you.

Tara.

Tara.

Tara!

Tara, no! tara!

No, tara.

Tara, tara, please don't leave

Me, tara.

Oh, god, tara, no.

excelente.

Visa, passport, tax i.d.,

Everything i need?

claro ahorita.

So we're good?

si, si.

don't know.

Do you think this place

Will work?

think...

It's perfect.

What do you think?

think...

It's perfect.