Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

Last night, I dreamt of a steady,

cool rain falling out of the African sky,

soaking me to my bones.

I watched as my filth pooled at my feet,

the raindrops washing away my stories.

That I was free.

But then I awoke, choking on the dust of this dry place.

And I wondered if hope does exist

for people who are desperate

and have nothing else to cling to.

I have to know.

Because if hope is stupid,

why would anything matter?

Balls, it is so effin' hot out here.

Yeah?

Hell of an experience though.

Feels so good to be making a difference.

Oh.

Shit, I had the total runs for the first two days straight.

I seriously thought I was gonna perish out here.

My parents wanted me to fly back early,

but I was like WWJD?

Oh, whoa!

That feels right.

You've been here longer than I have though.

Bet you can't wait to get home?

Do you have any Jamba Juice, dude?

Come, come.

Come here.

You need to move it.

Twist it tight.

Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.

College boy, we have to work, please.

That sign, you can mix it.

All right, all right.

That is the fourth child that she will bury.

This droughts, they devastate us.

This one seems longer than the last.

We pray to God to help but,

He's silent.

Sorry.

Where the hell is he?

Excuse me. Sorry.

Hey, what's up Kelley?

I'm looking for your idiot roommate.

Why? Did you guys break up again?

No, why?

Are you Stu's roommate?

Yo, broski.

Is it the 14th already, man?

I was gonna have this place all spiffed and shined for ya.

Come here.

Oh yeah, man.

I am totally getting the bad ass vibe

off you with the beard and the tan.

How was Somalia?

Kenya.

Kenya, right.

Hey, you need to come join us.

Lots of inebriated females making bad decisions.

Let's party.

Let's party.

I would but-

- All right, see you out there.

Oh, shit.

Look who's here.

Hey, welcome back.

- How are you? - I can't believe it.

How was Africa?

I'll talk to you in a minute.

We've got some really good news today.

Working along with many other organizations

to raise money for relief help,

and to build wells in communities

with no access to clean water.

No, no, no, no. Just hold.

What are you doing? Stop.

Okay. What, what lens are...

You're using a 50 millimeter.

You've got like the bridge of the Queen Mary,

between you and her.

You know what? We're gonna Photoshop a little baby there.

What an adorable, next Fredericks of Hollywood.

I think that if I would, maybe..

I'll just try a couple.

I'll just try a couple on my own

and we'll see how, if it turns out

and then we can go from there.

No, her neck is fine.

It's gonna look good in the lens.

You're seeing in 3D with two eyes,

the lens sees with 1D.

I want you to learn this.

Watch, watch with your two-dimensional eyes.

I see.

And learn. Freeze don't...

No, no, no, no, no.

That, if she moves half an inch

is gonna shatter the beauty of the...

It's better.

Seriously, could my day get any crappier?

Okay, bye.

I loved painting that one.

It's beautiful.

What's it about?

That beauty surrounds us.

How much is it?

You any good?

Oh.

Nah.

My dad volunteers teaching an art class

at a homeless shelter.

He's obsessed with photography.

So why was your day so bad?

What?

Oh yeah.

I have a flat tire and I don't have a car jack

and just some other stupid stuff.

I don't wanna bore you with my life's insignificant details.

But it's your life.

How could the details be insignificant?

Thanks.

I have a car jack you could use.

I can't believe I don't even have a spare.

I think I have one in my car that'll fit.

No, no, no, I don't wanna take your tire.

It's okay. I'll be right back

You from around here?

Yep. You?

Yep.

I graduate from the U this spring with an art degree.

Oh.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

So what do you wanna do after you graduate?

I don't know.

Teach, I guess.

You guess?

I wanna teach, just...

- Vanessa. - It's nothing. I'm sorry.

I had a meeting with my advisor yesterday.

He completely tore my senior project to shreds.

He said that it lacked distinction

or originality or whatever.

I always wanted to have, you know,

like an art gallery or something some day.

Nothing big or fancy, I just...

I feel really stupid right now.

I don't know why I'm telling you this. I'm sorry.

Just paint whatever pulls you out of bed

in the middle of the night,

and people will stand in line to see that.

And then kind of,.

Just wait.

Move over.

Watch this, watch this.

Dutch angle candid.

Just slightly over.

Yes.

- Perfect. - That's good.

- Do you see that? - That's good.

That's the magic.

I just don't know. They're all so good.

Yes, Steve did a great job.

You're very photogenic.

You are so sweet.

And who knew I could look 25 again?

Hey, Eric.

Some chick holding a tire is out front asking for you.

So, what do you think?

I'm thinking...

I'm thinking you should get a 24 by 36 of that.

Of this one.

I think we should do 36 wallets.

What do you think about that one?

Genius.

Hey.

I never got your number. I gave you mine but...

And I couldn't remember where you worked.

So I checked every store with a photo studio attached

like a stalker,

but I promised you that I'd get your tire back.

So here it is.

Some of these photos are really something.

Yeah, those were mostly taken by Steve.

My boss.

I love that one.

Oh yeah.

That kid did not wanna be here.

Took about an hour to calm him down.

You must be very patient.

Hey, I was gonna...

And I was at a complete loss.

Oh, dude. I'm so glad you're still here.

Stu, what are you doing here?

I dropped by the old port stude

to see if you wanted to grab some dinner,

but I overheard you making plans.

And it's a good thing that I was eavesdropping this time

because I locked myself out of the apartment again.

And you turned off your phone.

- Hey. - Hey

Vanessa. This is my-

- Stuart Halcombe.

I'm Eric's closest confidante.

Just don't lock me out this time.

Absolutely, dude.

- All right. Cool. - Nice to see you, Stu.

Bye.

He's...

What is that?

Hey, Vanessa. How're you doing?

So has Eric been telling you about all the marathons

that he runs to raise money

for his charity work in Ethiopia?

Hey, can we get some more chips and salsa?

- You've been to Africa? - Well, yeah.

- I mean, a little bit. - Oh yeah. He's so modest.

You should totally get him to show you the pictures

of him holding the sick babies.

It's just...

All right, so you know, I've gotta go somewhere.

You need that back?

Okay, bye.

How long have you known him?

I met him two years ago at a laundromat.

Oh my God.

I love the rain.

Well, that's fortunate.

You ready to run?

You first.

Go. Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Take my jacket.

It's wet. It's all wet.

Come on.

What are you...

Go in there.

Greetings, my dear child.

How long has it been since your last confession?

So tell me about your mother.

Why?

I'm just kidding.

Oh.

Besides I don't think priests ask

about that anyway.

Right, shrinks do.

Okay.

Let's ask each other deep and invasive personal questions.

Why would we do that?

Because it's fun.

Tell me your biggest regret.

Okay. The biggest regret.

Do you routinely corner people in confessional booths

to ask them personal questions?

No.

But since we are in one, it seems fitting, right?

How about, have you ever been in love?

No, not in the way that you mean.

Which way is that?

The real way.

Okay, who is the most influential person in your life?

Definitely my parents.

It's a tie.

Are you close with yours?

I never really knew my dad.

Why not?

He left before I was born.

Isn't that two questions?

And your mom?

She's not around anymore.

Did she die?

Yeah.

Oh Eric, I'm so sorry.

Holy shit.

I thought I was gonna pee my pants.

How did he not see you?

I don't know.

When he started praying with you,

I hightailed it out of there.

And just ran as fast as I can.

Oh, yeah.

Since when do you iron?

I got a fellowship interview today.

So, what's the deal with her?

What?

Oh, come on, man.

You've been like a monk for the last three years.

The least you can do is rollick me

with a few self-indulgent superficial details.

I don't know.

She invited me to her parents' place Thursday

for Thanksgiving.

Let me get this straight.

On your first date,

she wants to spend like 14 hours with you.

Then she invites you to her folks' house

for a major holiday?

And all this time,

I thought you needed remedial help with women.

So are you going?

Nah, I got too much stuff to do.

Come to Chicago with me.

You know my mom likes you better anyway.

I'll be back by Friday night.

I can't. I gotta work Friday at 5:00 a.m.

Pictures with Santa, remember?

Yay.

Have fun with that.

And my goal in running this marathon

is to raise money for one, maybe even two wells.

Huge tax deduction for your organization.

Okay, sure. No.

Even a small amount would be great.

Hey, nice job.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.

Hi Vanessa. This is...

I am.

Yeah, thanks. It must've been like a 24-hour thing.

I really appreciated dinner.

It was really kind of you.

So thanks.

Oh

Yes.

- Okay. - Awesome.

Let's try another one.

Brian, look alive.

Oh, right.

Three, two...

Intelligent, look intelligent.

Great.

Brian, tilt and Tricia tilt.

And three, two, One.

Perfect.

Try to think of some thoughts.

Just take one more.

Edward Whitney.

What are you doing?

You said he's a philosophy professor

at my place of education.

He wrote a book called

"Finding Jesus in the Dark Room:

Snapshots of Faith and Doubt".

Why would you take a leak off the Berlin wall?

Well, my sergeant and I actually just wanted pictures

of us standing on the wall.

I still don't know why we peed.

The good news is that our names

weren't on the ambassador's apology

to the East German people.

So you teach philosophy?

Don't miss the donut by looking through the hole.

A thousand men cannot undress one naked man.

Sorry.

Yes, I teach philosophy.

Vanessa says that you are a photographer?

Yes, sir.

Just most family portraits, mostly.

Just?

My family portraits are the most mysterious and fascinating.

Just think if those photos could speak up.

Yeah, that's true.

Are you Lutheran?

Lutheran...

Were you at least baptized as an infant,

or were you dipped?

Mama, could you come with me in the kitchen?

I was just getting to know Vanessa's new little friend.

My grandma has been trying to set me up

with her church organist for like three years.

And?

Well, he's 40 and really creepy.

Hey, but at least he's a Lutheran.

Yeah, that's true.

Whatever.

That is JP, my parents' foster kid,

and he is such a jerk.

Says a lot about your parents.

Yeah. Well my dad, his mom died when he was 15.

He was basically alone from then on.

You're putting too much on the plate.

You're doing a great job.

- They'll fall off. - Mama, come on.

- Come on, mama. - Oh, grandma, grandma.

Put this right there.

You do such a good job with that.

Eric, darling, can you take the punch bowl

and put it on the table and then come back in and finish?

You're doing a great job.

Mom, oh my God. These are so cute.

You made every single one

and you made the walnut ones?

- I'm so sorry. - There you go.

You know what? I think you missed a spot.

Shut up.

Here, I grabbed one of my dad's shirts.

You wanna give me yours and I'll wash it?

No, thanks. It'll dry.

You're covered in punch and it's gonna stain.

It's just an old shirt.

Eric, just change your damn shirt.

I don't need to, so just drop it.

Quieter out here, isn't it?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to scare you.

No, I just got this new camera

and I was experimenting with the low light.

Nice.

Hey, come here.

Let me show you something.

Come on.

Voila!

Wow. This is great.

Ed, I need you for a sec.

Oh yeah, Bonnie. Be right up.

Here, make yourself at home.

Okay.

Where's Ed?

I think he'll be back in a minute.

I'm Eric, Vanessa's friend.

No.

So, are you into art too?

I think it's exceedingly lame actually.

Except for photography, right?

Here, let me show you something pretty cool.

This was a couple of weeks ago.

JP.

What have I told you about smoking in here?

We'll talk about this later.

Sorry about that.

JP's been a tough nut to crack,

and today he disrespected Bonnie and I snapped.

I said some things to him I probably shouldn't have said

knowing his history, and tried to apologize,

but I don't really think it was enough.

Oh, it's enough.

He's probably more impressed with you now.

Why is that?

Because you made a mistake and apologized.

Sometimes that's even better

than never making a mistake at all.

Got my first camera when I was stationed in Korea.

I just couldn't put it down.

These are great.

I do love art because I think

it's one of the few things in life

that you really don't have to understand to create.

I mean, you can have contradictions

and doubts, insecurities.

Vanna showed me some of your photographs.

They're exquisite.

You have quite a talent.

Thanks.

Stu says you're saving for college.

You know, the US National Press

has a scholarship contest for photography.

You should really consider entering one of your photos.

No, I'm serious.

You should.

I see the sun struggling for attention

through the trembling branches.

And the cold wind whispers our approaching fate.

I've pushed the envelope of propriety

standing so close to her canvas.

I'm captivated by her colorful layers,

her deep strokes are miniature mountains reaching out to me,

making valleys shadow in the cool lights.

But I'm a shadow too, sewn to her feet,

with her as she walks.

And she talks to me as if I'm real.

Are you warm enough?

- Yes. - You're sure.

Yes.

But it's really cold up here.

I just don't want you to get sick.

But my awkwardness protects me.

And like her shadow,

I fade and wish the sun would never set.

But if I confessed,

there'd be no reason to wait for a reply,

knowing full well this thing will die.

Hey dude.

- Hey. - Hey.

I'm done.

You've written four sentences.

That was hard.

I need candy.

Hey, you know, most guys

that are trying to avoid a relationship

just ignore the chick.

You know, stop calling.

They don't run off to a third world country.

It is a bit drastic.

It's not what I'm doing.

And you need to stop reading my mail.

I thought it was mine.

From Africa Water Venture?

I care about Africa too, you know?

Shut up.

What?

So you leaving again?

You okay?

Do you actually think these look good?

What is the matter with you?

I took a chance on you when you didn't even have an address

or a phone number to put on an application.

And I have been good to you.

I gave you some amazingly fashionable work clothes.

I gave you 32 bucks of my own money

to sponsor you in that marathon

for your little Africa thing.

And why?

Why Eric?

Don't speak.

Because you were one of the best damned photographers

I had ever seen.

But lately, you are late.

Your work has been subpar at best.

I mean, where is the art?

Where is the craft?

Steve, are you serious?

You take pictures in a mall.

Of people sitting in front of fake backdrops

like the grand Canyon,

that we then Photoshop the hell out of.

What did you say?

I'm sorry.

I'll redo the session on my own time.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, kid.

You're fired.

What?

Yeah.

F-R-I-E-D.

There's a problem with the well we built.

It's contaminated.

They had to shut it down.

What?

They can't do that. They need it.

It's contaminated by some form of arsenic.

That's impossible. We tested it.

Yeah, but Eric, contaminants can migrate for miles.

We need to fix it.

There's no money to fix it.

Donations are down.

I can hardly even pay the lease to keep our door open.

We can't just sit here and do nothing.

They're depriving communities of clean water because donors,

governments and nongovernmental organizations

have built infrastructure

and then just ignored the need to maintain them.

I know, I know. I'm sorry.

Okay. All right.

Yeah, thank you.

I'm sorry.

Eric.

Eric.

Hey, buddy.

I'm back from Chicago.

How'd the marathon go?

Dude, you look like hell.

- Are you sick? - What?

Hey, aren't you going with Vanessa

to an art party tonight?

And you are a little musty.

You might wanna shower it up.

You look beautiful.

Where have you been?

I'm sorry I'm late.

I've been calling you for days.

I misplaced my phone.

And I came by, are you okay?

- You don't look good. - I'm fine.

Sorry I didn't call you.

I'll be right back.

Hey...

What are you doing?

You smoke?

No.

Then why are you smoking?

I don't smoke.

It was just one cigarette.

Okay Eric, what's going on?

I'm leaving.

Okay. Well, wait I'll go with you.

No, Vanessa.

I'm going back to Kenya, I leave Monday.

What?

When will you be back?

I'm not coming back.

You're kidding, right?

I always said I was going back.

Yeah, for like a little mission trip or something.

Not to go there indefinitely.

And what, you're going in two days?

- Where's the fire? - It hasn't rained.

There's no water.

The villages are waste and full of disease-

- So I'm a horrible person for not wanting you to go?

'cause I thought that you and I...

So what? This it, huh?

I'm just gonna get like a Christmas form letter

from you once a year, and that's it?

Vanessa...

No.

Have I been huffing spray paint this entire time

or have you almost been pretending

like there's not something

not going on between us, on purpose?

Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean that I don't...

This isn't easy.

What it isn't easy?

Tell me the truth.

It never would've worked between us.

What if we're longing for day to break

but night has already strangled the dawn in her bed?

What if hope is just a tale we tell ourselves

and there's nothing else to hold on to?

I came to this place to feel normal,

but someone is still pressing me down on my back.

My mind is throbbing,

my hands weakening,

and my pictures are slipping away.

Hey, Eric.

You know I'm surprised to see you sleeping on the job.

Eric, are you okay?

Eric, are you okay?

Come, can you get up?

Yeah.

Okay, just lie back.

I can't move. I can't move.

Okay Eric, don't worry.

We're going to get you to a doctor.

It's okay. We're going to get you to a doctor.

How are you feeling?

Better.

Thank you.

Eric, arrangements have been made for you

to be sent home.

No, no, no.

I'll be fine here.

Look, I will be very sorry to see you go,

but our doctor is very concerned

at how weak you still are.

American hospitals can help you much more than we can here.

No, no, Matua.

Please.

I need to stay.

I'm begging you.

You clicked like, and then all of a sudden,

you was talking about some matters of the heart

on his status.

What, you aren't fucking lying to me right now.

No, this bitch.

She's got too much respect...

I don't understand.

Basically, your immune system thinks

your spinal cord has an infection, even though it doesn't.

So it's making antibodies

that are attacking the myelin cells of your optic nerve

and your healthy spinal cord.

Eric, we don't know exactly what causes this

and it's very rare,

but there's nothing you could've done to prevent it.

What's gonna happen to me?

A household water heater

can boil hundreds of gallons of water a day, right?

But this wouldn't be an ordinary gravity filter.

I mean, this would...

Hello.

I'm sorry.

This wouldn't be an ordinary gravity filter.

You could use the pumps

to force the water through the filter.

I know, but I'm not a scientist...

Okay, I understand.

Oh God.

Oh God, help me.

Oh God, help me.

This episode was much more severe

than the mild ones he's had

and caused irreversible inflammation of his spinal cord.

Optica is progressing...

He has some left arm paralysis and right leg weakness.

Optic nerve damage causing significantly blurred division.

Of a chronic pain and become more disabled

throughout his life.

I'm so sorry.

Hey.

How you doing?

The doctor said that you've responded great

to the medication.

So that's great.

I made some new playlists for you.

I'll just put 'em on your table there.

You know, you don't need to feel weird

or anything around me.

Not that you would or should for that matter.

Besides, my mom already bought you all this new crap

from Ikea that she made me put together.

So you can't really decide to move now.

All right.

Well, hey, I gotta get going to class,

but I'll stop by afterwards.

Okay?

Okay.

Well, yeah, I'll see you later.

Be careful.

Okay.

That's cool.

I got you.

Easy.

Easy does it.

Any change?

I've been concerned

because you skipped several appointments.

I'm sorry.

I've just been really busy with the holidays and all.

I see.

And how have you been adjusting?

Just peachy.

Eric, I would encourage you to utilize the services

that are available to assist you.

Now, it's a little trickier with the blurry vision

and the leg weakness and the arm immobility.

Thank you for that comprehensive recap.

Sure thing.

Here you go.

Okay. That's where we are today.

Now, it's very important for you to learn

to do things for yourself,

so you don't have to depend on other people all the time.

Wow.

That was beautiful.

I think I'll needlepoint that and put it above the mantle.

Shit.

I'm reaching him.

I truly believe that I have the favor of God.

And the good news is that the Lord wants all of us

to have thriving and abundant lives.

He wants everyone of us to be healthy and successful.

I have a vibrant life filled with blessing I don't deserve.

Blessing after blessing after blessing after blessing...

Hey.

It sounds like God is your trophy wife.

Eric.

Been a while since you stopped by here to argue with me.

Everything all right?

Oh, you know, other than having a fucked spinal cord,

just living the dream.

Spinal cord?

I'm sorry.

That's it?

And if you need His healing powers,

just call on Him and He'll be there.

Amen and hallelujah.

Oh my God.

It's a miracle.

Are you serious?

How's it feel to get out?

Well, feels good to me.

Oh, hey.

Do you mind if I say hi to a buddy of mine from school?

Go.

Cool.

What's up?

Hey, Stu. How are you?

How are you doin', man.

Good to see you, buddy.

How was Africa?

I love your tan.

Oh my God.

Vanessa.

Hey.

How the hell are you?

You know what?

I would totally invite you to join us,

but we were just about to leave.

No, I'm not staying. I'm just...

My roommate thought she saw you here

and I didn't believe her.

What's happened to you? You look awful.

Thanks.

I'm fine.

How long have you been back?

It didn't work out?

Did you get my drawing?

Oh, you know what? That's my bad.

Dude, I'm sorry.

I totally forgot to give it...

You gave it to me.

No, I'm pretty sure I forgot...

No, you didn't forget.

It was great.

Yeah, well you said you never had

your portrait made before, so...

Congratulations on winning that scholarship.

Your story and your picture were really moving.

Can you believe they called him an idealist though?

- This guy? - My dad said

it might open up some new doors for you for photography.

I'm doing some new things instead.

Yeah, I can see that.

Basically you quit everything when you get tired of it.

Well,

I never lied to you, Eric.

And I really hope I never see you again.

I'm sorry, man.

Are you okay?

You told me she drew a circus.

I'm sorry.

I thought it would upset you.

What the hell did you do in here?

She never wants to see me again.

And you, you wouldn't want to either

if you knew who I really am.

All right, you're talking smack.

Shut up. I can't even see shit.

Hey, hey, hey.

Do you know there are millions of people

who are at risk of death because of drought?

Good segue, buddy.

But yeah, I think I heard something about that.

See, here's the thing.

If I was God and I was gonna drop a drought on some folks

for the hell of it, I personally would at least try

to drop it on people that could handle it.

Not people that are hardly surviving as it is.

No, drunk man.

Area's just prone to more droughts.

There's no cosmic conspiracy.

And seriously, why do you keep trying to believe

in some supposedly omnipotent being you don't even like?

I was just trying to be a good person.

You're saying you want me to record a message for Eric?

Yeah, it's this new thing that Eric's doing.

He thinks that recorded messages

are more personal than written ones.

Stu, what's going on?

Nothing.

Look, you said you didn't ever wanna see him again.

He looked terrible when I saw-

- You know, well, time's kinder to some of us.

So I'll have him give you a call.

Stu.

Yeah.

Don't you have class?

You know what?

Seriously, what are the odds?

You know...

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Please stop leaving your crap on the floor?

Yeah, you're right.

I'm sorry.

And even if you're on a diet,

look at just some of the great foods you can prepare

in your new Showtime rotisserie.

Hey, man.

Hey.

Anything good on?

No.

An eight-pound mouthwatering pork loin roast-

- So there's this thing I need to tell you,

but I'm not really sure how to say it.

You could just say it.

Okay, brilliant.

Just promise me you're not gonna try to kill the messenger.

Broski, you okay?

She freaked, man.

I didn't know what to do.

You should have told me right away.

I tried, but she took off

and I had to make sure she was okay.

What happened? Is she okay?

I chased her down the street and we went out to coffee.

She was a total mess.

I missed my class because she was sobbing

- for like two hours. - I don't wanna hear this.

No, no, no. It's a good thing.

I think I helped her like process it a little bit.

I gave her like the basic Wikipedia version,

with maybe just a little added commentary.

You promised me you would never talk to her about this.

Dude, I promised that like six months ago.

Besides, I kind of figured the jig was up

when she was standing at our front door

and you didn't even notice.

Shit man, I'm sorry.

She wants you to call her.

This does not go here.

I had to change a light bulb.

Whoopsie.

I got it. I got it.

I got a surprise for you before I head off to the airport

that might cheer you up a little bit.

So, I want to do our Christmas gift exchange a little early.

You're kidding, right?

No, come on.

I know that you're still pissed

about the whole Vanessa thing, but...

What is that?

It's a dog, homie.

Chill out.

That's not a dog. It's a fricking hamster.

No, it's a teacup poodle.

Merry Christmas.

Do you wanna hold him?

Why the hell would you give me a poodle?

What do you mean? They're like the smartest breed.

Check it out. I already taught them how to sit.

Sit.

Sit.

Oh, look at that, huh?

And his uncle's cousin's brother

was like a poodle state champion.

I can't believe you did this.

Don't worry about the apartment's no dog policy.

I talked to the manager.

I told him you needed him and he said it was okay.

So I got you

a bed and some food,

and a bowl.

I don't want a dog.

Take him back.

You made him feel bad.

Hey man, it's cool.

I never asked if you were a dog person.

I just thought that...

Well, I'm sure I can find a nice geriatric couple

that'll take him or...

I appreciate you thinking of me.

You know I'm only gonna be in Aspen for a few days.

My parents still want you to come.

That's nice.

Thank them for me.

You know, between my classes and my internship,

I'm not really gonna be around a whole lot next semester.

I should get going to the airport.

So what do you want me to do with tiny Tim here?

I mean, I'll take him as soon as I get back.

Fine.

Okay.

What's that smell?

He took a dump in my bed, didn't he?

It's a good thing he's small.

Jeffrey.

I can't believe it.

I know I shouldn't be surprised you're all grown up but...

How'd you find me?

The lady at the library helped me.

It was a little bit tricky using your middle name,

but I'd recognize these baby blues anywhere.

And aren't you the good little Samaritan?

And winning 10 grand to boot.

It's just a scholarship.

Who knew I'd raise such a smarty pants.

It's freezing out here.

Are you gonna invite me in or what?

Fuck.

Oh, look at the puppy.

He's so cute.

I don't...

I never heard of that before.

You're not...

It's not...

Fatal?

No, unfortunately not.

Well, no big deal. Shit happens.

Yeah, it does.

Here, let me.

Nice place you got here.

Live alone?

No.

You get a girlfriend?

No.

You get by okay?

Yup.

So are you clean?

Yeah.

A long time now.

Well, I'm surprised to see you here.

Surprised?

That a mother would wanna see her only child after 10 years?

It's 12.

It's the day after my 13th birthday, remember?

You got me a lottery ticket.

Of course I remember.

You just took off and I didn't even know if you were alive.

Anyway,

I have to be somewhere.

I'll come by again and lend a hand or something.

I remember being so sure

that I had picked the winning numbers for you too.

Are you done?

Hey, you stupid dog, where are you?

Come on, where'd you go?

Get out of the road, you bum.

Rough night?

Oh my God.

Where the hell am I?

Hell's about right.

Hey.

What's your name?

Amy.

What's wrong with you?

Several things.

What?

I was just looking at all the religious books you've got.

Yeah, it was a phase.

You want 'em?

Phase?

So you're like an atheist now or something?

I wish.

It's complicated.

How can it not be?

As for me, I definitely believe in God.

You do?

Oh yes.

I love him.

No.

Just a second.

Eric, it's Ed.

- Hey. - Hi.

Hey, I've been thinking about you a lot lately.

How much I miss having you around?

And not just 'cause you fix things for me on the house.

JP and I were thinking about doing a little fishing.

I thought I'd see what you're up to.

Oh, come on. I'll take you out for an hour.

I'll bring you back.

That's it.

I'm not really feeling up to it today.

I appreciate what you're trying to do.

Come on. You know, I don't pull that crap.

I just want to hang out a little bit, come on.

Who's your little friend?

I'm watching him for Stu.

Oh, bring him along.

We'll use him for bait.

Want some coffee?

No, thanks.

Ed, I'm sorry I never called you back.

I meant to. I just-

- You had your reasons.

Christmas is such a dichotomy, ain't it?

Happy for some, sad for others.

It's just a day.

I used to spend every Christmas

waiting for my dad to come home.

Where was he?

Don't know.

Sometimes he'd be gone for months,

but no matter what, for whatever reason,

he'd always come home for Christmas.

Christmas when I was 14, first time that he never showed.

I had stayed up all night

like a little kid waiting around for Santa.

When did he come back?

Never saw him again.

I hated that I kept hoping that he'd show up every year.

Hell, I'm almost 70 years old.

I'm still hoping he'll show up today.

It's crazy.

That's not crazy.

Vanna, what are you doing here?

Mom told grandma that Eric's with you

and grandma told me.

That big busybody.

- Hey, Eric. - Hey.

Can I talk to you?

Actually, your dad was just about to take me home.

Please?

You're kinda freaking me out there being so quiet.

It's not really like you.

I'm sorry.

No, it's fine.

I just expected you to hit me with 20 questions.

Well, yeah, I mean I have questions-

- So your dad says you're in grad school.

- Yeah. - That's great.

That's great.

Eric, I want you to come over to the house.

What?

- No. - No, no, it's okay.

I mean, it's just my grandparents there

and it's nothing big.

Just for a little while, please.

Please.

How about some of Ethel's cranberry gelatin relish, Eric?

No, thank you.

Dad.

Here. That enough?

He said he didn't want any.

The boy's gotta eat. He looks awful.

- Grandpa. - Give him a ham.

He needs protein.

Dad, how are you feeling these days?

Not good at all?

Eric, I still don't understand

what really happened to you.

Mama, let the boy eat.

No, no. It's okay.

I told you Ethel about this wacky business

with his spinal column eating away at itself.

It's so interesting that it affects so many things.

I know. It's crazy, huh?

Well, don't you worry about a thing, Eric.

I have many friends over at the Lutheran Manor

who have problems with their eyes,

or legs or their arms.

They're getting along just fine.

That's good to know.

I was in there in the hospital

a couple of months ago for the colon thing.

The oscopy.

They took out a couple of polyps.

Uncle Howard thinks Eric's problem

can be caused by glaucoma.

Glaucoma?

I have some glaucoma.

Poor Eric. Such a shame.

And he was so handsome.

Now, he looks like something

that crawled out of a trash bag.

He didn't look good, I can tell you that.

Ho, ho, ho, ho.

Merry Christmas.

Oh, sorry.

You called Stu?

Yeah, I gotta get back.

Thursday night into Friday,

those will be the worst travel conditions.

This is a powerful winter storm.

There's the low pressure area.

Let's put this in the most-

- What the hell are you doing?

Why would you bring him here?

Bro, I'm sorry.

But it's nasty out there and they even shut down the airport

right after I arrived.

It took me two hours to drive here.

We're not gonna make it back tonight.

It's a nightmare.

Corn relish comes shooting out of me like bullets.

Maybe it'll be fun.

Some nice hot tea.

I'm so glad you guys are staying.

It will be so much more festive with you here.

Here we go.

Here you go, sweetie.

- No, thank you. - Okay, sweetie.

I'm gonna put you in Vanessa's room.

I hope you don't mind sharing Vanessa's bed.

No.

We're both mature adults.

Good.

Do you wanna know what I'm wearing?

Stu, jeez no.

Sorry.

I just know how you feel about full disclosure these days.

Take your dog.

Hey, could I ask you something?

Yeah, shoot.

I mean, I can mostly tell,

but Vanessa looks the same to you, right?

Yeah, I'd say so.

She was wearing this top thing

that you could totally see her bra straps through,

and some jeans that if I might add

were rather tight in the ass.

I never thought she was particularly hot,

but she was pretty smoking in 'em.

Well, I'm beat.

You don't snore, do you?

Stu, go back to sleep.

It's Ed.

Sorry, I heard a noise.

I thought I'd come see if everything was okay.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.

That's okay.

No problem.

Well, goodnight.

Hey, Ed.

Yeah.

Do you remember that woman from Kenya

I was telling you about?

Yeah.

Her entire life has been nothing

but hunger and thirst, pain.

Suffering from day one.

It's heartbreaking.

Most people wouldn't even give it a second thought.

But you do.

Do you think that there are people

that are just doomed or cursed?

There's an old Navajo proverb that I love.

It says you can't wake a man who's pretending to be asleep.

Now, you can pretend that you've thrown the towel in

and like, you're so pissed, you can't even think straight,

but you're still wide awake, aren't you?

- You wanna sit down? - No.

You all right?

Hurt my ankle.

Oh man. How?

I went home last weekend.

Got in a fight with my stepdad.

Who won.

I did.

So the asshole pushed me down the stairs.

It didn't hurt though.

Well, you're tougher than I was.

Here, I wanted to give you this.

I'm not gonna take your camera.

Right, 'cause I'm really gonna be using it.

Here, I want you to have it.

What am I gonna do with it?

Probably just sell it.

That's all right.

Just before you sell it, mess around with it.

Best way to learn.

Hey.

Hey.

Stu, ready?

Yeah, just about.

He's getting lectured by my grandpa in Lutheranism

and the light bulb crisis.

Whoa, there's a trash can.

- Do you need help? - No.

I've been praying really hard for you.

You're going through so much right now,

but if you just hang in there,

things are gonna get better.

Look, I'm just trying to...

Well, I don't need you to.

Fine.

You know, it must be so awesome going through life

not needing anything or anyone.

I'm gonna go find Stu.

Okay. Yeah.

Let's see you go find Stu.

What do you want from me, Vanessa?

Nothing.

You know, I used to want you though.

Not that that matters now.

I would have been there for you though.

Why?

To tell me stuff like things are gonna get better?

Is that wrong?

Yes.

Because sometimes they don't.

Or is that just foreign to someone like you?

What is your problem with me?

Is my life not tragic enough for you or something?

Like how much crap do I have to go through

for you to sanction me

into your elite little suffering club?

Just stop it.

Do I have to lose my parents

or have my face ripped off by barbed wire

or be starving with malaria?

Would any of that be enough for you?

- What? - What?

What did you just say about barbed wire?

I don't know.

I read about a woman whose face got ripped off

by barbed wire when she was climbing a fence.

It's not funny. It's horrible.

I know.

Having your face ripped off by barbed wire sounds awful.

I just don't think I ever want something bad

to happen to you.

What?

What's going on, Eric?

What's going on?

It's my fine, it's fine, it's fine.

What, what?

Sit down.

It's my leg.

It's fine. It's normal.

It's fine.

- What can I do? - Nothing.

This was a mistake coming here.

Eric.

Wait.

Shit.

You know, I used to stare at your paintings

trying to figure you out?

They only told me what I already knew

after talking to you for five minutes.

I know what you're trying to do.

You're just scared of facing things

you don't have the answers for.

You're scared of opening your eyes

and seeing things as they really are.

V, I'm sorry.

Just so you know, I don't...

Crap. Kelley's here.

Where have you been?

At Vanessa's house. I texted you.

You texted me?

Yeah.

It's Christmas day, you schlarb.

I know. I drove as fast as I could.

What are you talking about?

Do you know how long I was waiting?

You do this every time.

I was sitting there with my parents.

They were wondering where you were.

Someone has got to say something.

Eric, are you aware that every time we go out,

Stu insists on coming back here to check on you?

That is not true.

Look, I know that you got a raw deal,

but you have got to stop relying on Stu for everything.

I don't need Stu.

See, I told you.

So Eric has nothing to do

with you turning down that fellowship in Belize?

What fellowship?

You know?

I told you.

- No, you didn't. - Really?

I thought that...

It's nothing.

I decided not to take it anyway.

Why not?

Come on.

Who wants to live in Belize?

Besides, you know I hate moving, and the ocean.

It was a great opportunity,

and he was handpicked out of 1000 applicants.

I didn't wanna take it.

So drop it.

- You are such a liar. - Shut up, Kelley.

No, you know what?

I am not gonna sit back and watch you trash your life

because someone else chooses to trash theirs.

If I find out that I had anything to do

with you not taking that fellowship...

Why would you do that?

Why did you have to do that today?

Because somebody had to say something.

No, I would have told him if you would...

When were you gonna tell him?

It doesn't matter.

I don't need your help with this.

- You don't need my help? - No, I don't.

- Okay. - Goodbye. Merry Christmas.

Hey, man.

Hey, I'm sorry about that.

She's pissed, because I won't move in with her.

Yeah, well, she's right about one thing.

You're a liar.

Go to Belize.

What if I did go?

And what would you do?

You spend all the money Uncle Sam gives you

on nothing but booze, cigarettes and cereal.

Wear the same two disgusting shirts all the time

and you generally look like complete and utter shit.

So yeah, man. Yeah.

You're the poster child of self sufficiency.

- Absolutely. - It's my life.

Yup. It is.

What's all this shit of indeterminate origin?

You're doing drugs now?

How about your scholarship?

Plan on using it?

- No. - Yeah.

I guess it's kinda hard to go to college

if you haven't finished high school yet.

You got a letter from the department of education

asking when you're gonna start your GED.

Can't just cease to exist, so how about it?

Did you even finish high school?

Why do you care?

I don't even know.

God.

In the few years of living together,

you'd figure it's something that might've come up.

The least you can do is let some sunlight in here.

What the hell for, you moron.

For vitamin fucking D man. I don't know.

You know what? You're just pissed 'cause you're stuck here.

I'm not stuck here. I'm going back to Kenya.

Oh my God. That's ludicrous.

God, man. You're screwed up, you know that?

Man, I don't even think you care about Kenya.

I think you just use them as an excuse

so you can get out of here.

Get off me.

Get off me.

Not now, JP.

Take a 'lude, Vanna.

Eric gave me his camera.

He did?

And I threw all of his pictures on your dad's computer.

Thought you might like to see them before I delete them.

Stay right there.

I'm gonna grab a camera.

Matua, I'll be able to get around on my own, I promise.

You won't have to do anything for me.

I'll live in the village. I'll sleep anywhere.

All I want is to come back.

Come here, little guy.

Jeffrey.

It's mom.

Open up.

Jeffrey.

Honey, I need your help.

I lost my job and I just need to borrow a little cash.

- You're strung out. - No, no, I promise.

I can smell the drugs all over you.

No, I'm not.

I was with some people that use,

but it's all behind me, I swear.

Listen honey, I need you.

No, stop it, stop it.

Listen. I need you to please show me that you love me.

Who are you?

- Vanessa. - I'm sorry.

I didn't mean interrupt you. I just...

Vanessa, what are you doing here?

I tried to call you, but you never answer your phone.

V, just please go. I will call you later.

I know all about girls like you.

- I shouldn't have come. - You're in love

with my Jeffrey, aren't you?

- Stop it. - No.

Vanessa, please go.

Mothers can always tell these things.

I just came to return your sweatshirt

that you left at our house and here, take it.

And to tell you that...

All I wanted was to know you too.

Vanessa, wait.

Vanessa.

Vanessa.

I'll be damned.

You remember Buzz?

He still takes good care of me.

What the hell happened to you, kid?

This is why you want me to stay outside?

Leave him alone.

Leave him alone.

He's sick, okay Buzz.

He's sick.

Come on, obviously you could use some help.

Don't touch me.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

God, that son of yours just broke my nose.

Don't worry about it.

Come on.

Just come on.

Stay away from me.

Buzz, come on. Stop it.

Be quiet.

Where do you think you're going?

I told you what would happen if you ran away,

you little faggot.

You owe me.

I swear to God, I'll fucking kill you.

Your mom still needs you, Jeffy.

I still have a lot of customers that'd be into you,

pretty little face like yours.

You got yourself all worked up.

You could still make a good little hooker, I bet.

- Oh God, help me. - I'm gonna take care of you.

Please get off me.

Please get off.

Oh God, I missed you.

Look what we have here.

You better look out, kid.

Mom.

Eric.

Eric.

Eric.

Oh my God, man.

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I lost the dog.

I can't find him.

We will find him.

I lost the dog.

I lost the dog.

It's okay, man.

It's okay.

I swear, we'll find him.

Come on, man.

You can't stay in here like this, come on.

I don't know, you know.

You know I don't know.

But what is to know?

Do you know?

- You know- - Here you go, hun.

Thanks.

I write poems, did you know that?

No. Like what?

Roses are red, violets are blue.

If you needed a kidney, I'd give one to you.

Funny.

Here, sign me up. I'll go up there.

Wait, are you serious?

I've never done this before,

but what the hell, right?

Hi. You're Jeffrey, right?

I don't know. I don't know.

He's not in the apartment.

I looked like five blocks away from the house.

I can't find him anywhere.

I don't know where he is.

I didn't know who else to call.

Hey, here you go.

Why did you come back here?

Yeah, you maybe have some rough times,

but you got outta here.

You had a life, man.

I had a lie.

Ed.

Yeah.

This is your old camera.

What would it be doing here?

I thought teaching an art class to a bunch of people

that didn't have a place to live was so stupid.

I was just trying to survive.

I'm Ed.

That's my daughter, Vanessa.

I knew it was her.

You're hungry?

Oh, maybe later.

I teach philosophy. That's my day job.

It's either that or write fortune cookies.

Wow.

Look at this.

Here. Keep capturing this monumental moment.

I don't know how to use this.

Experiment. That's the way to learn.

Always impressed when I see a photographer

with the bravery to take a shot up at close range.

No, no, no. Keep it.

- What? - No, I want you to have it.

I have no idea why he gave it to me

and I never even thanked him.

I never intended to lie to them.

It's just somewhere along the way

it was nice not having a history for a change.

I'm tired.

Jeff.

Jeff.

Hey, wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Jeff, where are you going?

Stop.

Stop.

I've never done this before,

but what the hell, right?

Have you ever wondered on your daily commute

while you take in the sights and the smells

of the world around you

through a tempered glass and air conditioning,

if there's less to life than this?

Less than your job and your house, your hot girlfriend,

the sex you're having,

the sex you wish you were having?

I'm not gonna spew a courageous story of survival

to restore anyone's hope in mankind

'cause it doesn't exist.

I'm just a bug in a jar

straining to squeeze my contorted, splitting flesh

through a nail-poked hole in the lid.

At night, I still see her emaciated form pleading.

Her starving body feeding itself with grief

as she sobs dry tears over her lifeless baby

stiffening in her arms.

She's locked her eyes to mine

and I desperately seek some callousness

to force my eyes away, but everywhere I turn,

she's there and I curse her.

Because the shit I've seen

has burned a hole so deep inside of me

that everything blurs,

and the only thing that I can see clearly

is some almighty son of a bitch,

hell bent on making a sick believer out of me.

I would love to be an atheist,

but when you are sitting there

sucking down on your peppermint latte,

and she's digging a grave in the dry dirt for her dead baby,

I simply can't escape the obvious

that somebody up there is just fucking with all of us.

Where have you been?

Fuck you.

You have been so thirsty,

but your cries are heard.

Hurry.

Come on.

- Hey. - Hey.

Here you go.

- Thank you. - You okay?

Yeah.

You want me to hang around? I can wait downstairs.

No, you should be home with Vanna.

I love you.

Eric.

It's okay, hey.

It's me.

It's Ed.

I think this belongs to you.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Son,

I don't know why some people suffer

through drought longer than others,

but the rain always comes eventually.

And when it does, the desperate, barren, thirsty earth

quenches itself in a way that the lush, green earth

could never imagine or understand.

And I have to live in this tension

because that is where the fire is.

I think he's pooping.

Hey, hey, hey, slow down.

Here's your camera, dad.

Get anything good, buddy?

Yeah, a caterpillar.

Hey, Eric, you almost done in there?

Yeah, I'll be right there.

Come on, help mommy out.

Grab us some plates.

Mom, do you want us to feed him?

No, no, your brother first.

- Yes. - No.

- Yes. - No.

- Yes. - No.

We caught a caterpillar,

then it pooped, and then it fell off the leaf

and then we took tons of pictures.

Really?

Walked down the path, and we had dad's camera

and we took pictures of trees and interesting rocks

and a big fish was in the creek.

Oh wow.

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