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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:44,873 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:48,441 Throughout history, humans have had a primal instinct to hunt, 3 00:00:48,573 --> 00:00:51,477 to compete, to dominate. 4 00:00:51,643 --> 00:00:53,745 Initially, survival was a daily necessity. 5 00:00:53,878 --> 00:00:56,315 Kill or be killed. There was no choice. 6 00:00:56,449 --> 00:00:59,085 And through these battles, through all the aggression 7 00:00:59,218 --> 00:01:02,488 against the opposition, a respect developed. 8 00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:04,989 An unexpected camaraderie was born. 9 00:01:05,124 --> 00:01:07,625 And around the world, brotherhoods were forged. 10 00:01:10,262 --> 00:01:12,131 But now that we're civilized and spoiled 11 00:01:12,264 --> 00:01:13,932 by the luxuries of the modern world, 12 00:01:14,066 --> 00:01:16,435 those instincts have been dulled. 13 00:01:16,569 --> 00:01:19,405 However, that primal need to dominate remains. 14 00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:22,074 Even today, people around the world need an outlet, 15 00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:24,143 an arena to crush the competition. 16 00:01:24,276 --> 00:01:25,877 And I'm not talking about fantasy football. 17 00:01:26,010 --> 00:01:27,679 I'm talking about real competition. 18 00:01:27,812 --> 00:01:31,015 Blood, sweat, and beer. 19 00:01:32,016 --> 00:01:34,587 This is the story about my group of friends. 20 00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:36,388 And for the last 20 years, we found that outlet 21 00:01:36,522 --> 00:01:39,391 to unleash our need to conquer, to win, 22 00:01:39,525 --> 00:01:41,093 to be crowned king, 23 00:01:41,227 --> 00:01:44,363 and to ruthlessly demoralize our best buddies. 24 00:01:48,467 --> 00:01:51,170 But at the end of the day, we are lifelong friends, 25 00:01:51,303 --> 00:01:54,306 and nothing could come between our brotherhood. 26 00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:59,711 Well, almost nothing. 27 00:02:32,645 --> 00:02:34,113 Where are you? 28 00:02:34,246 --> 00:02:36,315 Oh, okay. 29 00:02:45,491 --> 00:02:48,561 Oh, okay. Get some. 30 00:02:48,693 --> 00:02:51,729 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 31 00:02:54,699 --> 00:02:56,268 Fuck you! 32 00:02:56,402 --> 00:02:58,137 Fuck! 33 00:02:58,270 --> 00:02:59,704 Damn it! 34 00:03:03,509 --> 00:03:06,512 Ow! Fuck! Aaah! Aaah! Stop! 35 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:10,282 Fucking stop shooting! Aaah! 36 00:03:12,251 --> 00:03:14,520 Too much! 37 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:15,853 Oh, fuck. 38 00:03:18,424 --> 00:03:19,891 Yeah! 39 00:03:29,368 --> 00:03:32,003 - Who's the king? - You're the king! 40 00:03:32,137 --> 00:03:35,674 I want to say a couple words here. 41 00:03:35,807 --> 00:03:38,043 I should not be standing here 42 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:39,877 collecting another championship, 43 00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:42,047 but I am, thanks to guys like Doc. 44 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:45,016 I had you, Shelly. I had you. 45 00:03:45,150 --> 00:03:46,818 You had me dead in the fucking water, 46 00:03:46,951 --> 00:03:48,820 - I did, Shelly. - right there by the tree stump, 47 00:03:48,953 --> 00:03:52,091 and then you... what happened? You panicked, right? You spazzed out? 48 00:03:52,224 --> 00:03:54,593 That is a good quality in a doctor, you must admit. 49 00:03:54,727 --> 00:03:57,396 Your patients are very lucky. We'll let it go, and Zane... 50 00:03:57,529 --> 00:04:00,132 - That's my name! - "In Zane" in the membrane. 51 00:04:00,266 --> 00:04:03,569 You idiot. You're such an idiot. 52 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,537 This fucking guy! 53 00:04:05,671 --> 00:04:08,240 And, Durfy, I was really hoping you'd win, man. 54 00:04:08,374 --> 00:04:11,909 - Oh, thank you. - 'Cause I wanted to go down on the champion. 55 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,713 Since I'm the champion, you can go down on me. 56 00:04:14,846 --> 00:04:17,683 - Yeah, I'll start now. - Ooh! Ooh, ooh! 57 00:04:17,815 --> 00:04:21,687 It's "ding!" Like a bullet off Superman. That's what that was. 58 00:04:21,819 --> 00:04:24,256 Where's big Bob? Big Bob! Bobfather! 59 00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:27,226 - Yes! - The man we owe it all to. 60 00:04:27,359 --> 00:04:29,695 The man who put all this shit together. 61 00:04:29,827 --> 00:04:32,298 - Bobby, thank you. I love you, brother. - Love you too, buddy. 62 00:04:32,431 --> 00:04:35,967 And last but not least, Dixon Bender "like Beckham." 63 00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:39,305 Get over here, Bender. Bender, 64 00:04:39,438 --> 00:04:41,740 I, uh, I've won, uh, 65 00:04:41,873 --> 00:04:44,209 six championships in six years. 66 00:04:44,343 --> 00:04:46,211 What do you have to say about that? 67 00:04:46,345 --> 00:04:48,314 - Well, Shelly, I... - Oh, we're all out of time. 68 00:04:48,447 --> 00:04:51,283 So sorry, Bender. Love you, Bobby! 69 00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:53,752 - Whoo! - I need a beer. 70 00:04:53,885 --> 00:04:55,554 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 71 00:04:55,688 --> 00:04:59,924 Bender, I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry about earlier. 72 00:05:00,059 --> 00:05:02,528 I was just trying to make sure you were actually dead, you know. 73 00:05:02,661 --> 00:05:05,297 Well, you did. You shot me, like, 30 times, Shelly. 74 00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,800 - Thirty times. You painted a fucking house. - Yeah. 75 00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,168 It hurt. 76 00:05:09,301 --> 00:05:11,103 Aw, sweet, sweet Bender. Come on. 77 00:05:11,236 --> 00:05:14,773 Come on over here. You didn't deserve that. 78 00:05:14,906 --> 00:05:16,974 - I'll never do it again, okay? - All right. 79 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:18,610 - You hear me? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 80 00:05:18,744 --> 00:05:21,714 'Cause you are the toughest son of a bitch I know, 81 00:05:21,846 --> 00:05:24,550 and you wear your heart on your shoe. 82 00:05:24,683 --> 00:05:26,552 Aaah! Fuck! 83 00:05:31,490 --> 00:05:34,326 You can be such an asshole, dude. Fuck! 84 00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:36,128 - You're 33? - Yeah. 85 00:05:36,261 --> 00:05:39,765 - Wow! - You're so good looking for an older guy. 86 00:05:39,897 --> 00:05:42,501 - Yeah! Totally. - I am not. 87 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:43,836 - Yeah, you are. - No, I'm not. 88 00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,270 You look like a movie star. 89 00:05:45,404 --> 00:05:46,871 You seriously think I look like a movie star? 90 00:05:47,004 --> 00:05:48,273 Yeah, totally! 91 00:05:48,407 --> 00:05:50,509 - You're hot! - Wow, thank you! 92 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:53,945 - What do you do? - Oh, I operate a backhoe. 93 00:05:54,079 --> 00:05:57,249 I dig a lot of, uh, sewer mains and cesspools. 94 00:05:57,383 --> 00:06:02,019 It's, uh, anywhere where waste generally dissipates into the soil. 95 00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:05,391 - Like poo? Oh. - Mm-hmm. 96 00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,060 Pretty good job. 97 00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:14,600 Your grandparents let you throw parties like this here? 98 00:06:14,733 --> 00:06:16,068 - Yeah. Yeah. - Really? 99 00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:18,970 Well, every summer, last 15 years. 100 00:06:19,104 --> 00:06:22,141 - Oh, my... - Hello! Who's this beautiful lady? 101 00:06:22,274 --> 00:06:24,143 - Hi, I'm Tiff. - Tiff? 102 00:06:24,276 --> 00:06:25,878 Tiff, do you know who this is? 103 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,312 - That's Bob. - This is Bob. 104 00:06:27,446 --> 00:06:29,681 Bob is the bestest, sweetest son of a bitch 105 00:06:29,815 --> 00:06:31,717 - in the whole, wide world. - Are you gonna kiss me on the lips? 106 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:34,153 I'm gonna kiss you right on your lips, you big, handsome... 107 00:06:34,286 --> 00:06:37,055 - You guys should kiss. - I love this guy. 108 00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:39,191 Okay. Nikki calls. 109 00:06:39,324 --> 00:06:41,493 Jesus Christ. 110 00:06:41,627 --> 00:06:44,496 Careful... 111 00:06:44,630 --> 00:06:46,998 Hey, who's got my bucket? 112 00:06:47,132 --> 00:06:49,268 There you are, baby. 113 00:06:49,401 --> 00:06:51,236 Sheldon Baldinger. 114 00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:53,572 Why, Nikki Baldinger? Hi, wifey. 115 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,374 I think it's time we have a little chat. 116 00:06:55,507 --> 00:06:58,009 Yeah? What do you want to talk about? 117 00:06:58,143 --> 00:07:01,180 I think it's time for my big, strong champion 118 00:07:01,313 --> 00:07:05,184 to take his trophy... inside. 119 00:07:05,317 --> 00:07:08,320 - Shelly! Shelly! We got a sleeper. Right there. - Dude. 120 00:07:08,454 --> 00:07:10,955 Mark did a bunch of absinthe. He's basically in a coma. 121 00:07:11,089 --> 00:07:13,091 So fire up the nut sac. 122 00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:14,927 Time for the old meat goggles. 123 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:18,864 Rain check, babe. I'm sorry. I can't disappoint my fans. 124 00:07:18,996 --> 00:07:22,034 Whoo! Who wants some balls and gravy? 125 00:07:25,103 --> 00:07:28,307 Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! Balls! 126 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,341 Ugh. 127 00:07:29,475 --> 00:07:32,377 Unbelievable. Look at this guy. 128 00:07:32,511 --> 00:07:35,547 Why do I do this? Every year, I get dragged down to these things. 129 00:07:35,681 --> 00:07:38,350 Bunch of grown men acting like teenage chimps. 130 00:07:38,484 --> 00:07:41,620 Yeah, they're animals. 131 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:45,657 Poor Mark's passed out. Now he has balls smeared all over his forehead. 132 00:07:45,791 --> 00:07:47,593 He's a schoolteacher. 133 00:07:47,726 --> 00:07:50,896 It's a good thing Mark's students aren't here. 134 00:07:51,029 --> 00:07:52,965 All he cares about is work 135 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:56,134 and beating his buddies at the Buddy Games, especially you, Bender. 136 00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:57,970 I haven't showered for three days! 137 00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:00,339 Why don't you teach him a lesson? 138 00:08:00,472 --> 00:08:02,574 From us. Come on. It'll be fun. 139 00:08:02,708 --> 00:08:05,944 - What, shoot him? I can't do that. - Okay. 140 00:08:06,078 --> 00:08:09,348 Two for one. Two nuts, one guy. 141 00:08:09,481 --> 00:08:12,351 Look familiar, Bender? 142 00:08:14,086 --> 00:08:15,754 - What if I did? - Yeah, do it. 143 00:08:15,888 --> 00:08:17,623 Left hook. Uppercut. 144 00:08:17,756 --> 00:08:19,191 Body blow. Aaah! 145 00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:21,159 What? 146 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:23,295 Shel! Shelly! 147 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,132 Bender, you fucked him up real good, man. 148 00:08:27,266 --> 00:08:30,135 Jesus Christ, what am I looking at? 149 00:08:47,386 --> 00:08:49,721 - What's going on? - Nothing. 150 00:08:51,089 --> 00:08:52,958 You know, I was doing the math 151 00:08:53,091 --> 00:08:54,626 on how many years we've been coming here, 152 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,162 - and it's five years of Sundays. - I know. 153 00:08:57,296 --> 00:08:58,931 She's making the same casserole. 154 00:08:59,064 --> 00:09:00,432 Oh, God. 155 00:09:00,566 --> 00:09:02,334 My mom really appreciates it though. 156 00:09:02,467 --> 00:09:04,037 And I appreciate you for coming with me. 157 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,737 I was thinking that maybe we could 158 00:09:05,871 --> 00:09:08,674 - add something to the Sunday routine. - Like what? 159 00:09:08,807 --> 00:09:11,543 I'm just gonna keep sliding down the counter until you figure it out. 160 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:14,079 We could see how we like that. 161 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:18,650 Yeah. You want to do it right here? 162 00:09:27,793 --> 00:09:30,063 You want to add something to the Sunday routine? 163 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:45,611 I'm staring at a picture of myself as a child staring back at me. 164 00:09:45,744 --> 00:09:47,512 It's horrifying. 165 00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:51,249 Oh, God! 166 00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,854 Okay, my buns are warm. 167 00:09:55,988 --> 00:09:57,956 Bless your heart! 168 00:09:58,091 --> 00:10:00,325 Oh, I always forget to heat those up. 169 00:10:00,459 --> 00:10:03,161 Not a big deal. I mean, look at your casserole. 170 00:10:03,295 --> 00:10:04,630 - Isn't it good today? - Oh... 171 00:10:04,763 --> 00:10:06,632 - Did you do something different this time? - No. 172 00:10:06,765 --> 00:10:09,134 No, you baked a pie. How am I gonna compete with you? 173 00:10:09,267 --> 00:10:10,736 Oh, I bought that pie, sweetie. 174 00:10:10,869 --> 00:10:12,304 Bill hates my pie. 175 00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,073 What? What's that? 176 00:10:14,206 --> 00:10:15,974 I said, you hate my pie. 177 00:10:16,109 --> 00:10:19,011 Oh, yeah. Store pie's better. 178 00:10:19,177 --> 00:10:21,213 You know, I always think that pie is pie. 179 00:10:21,346 --> 00:10:22,981 You know, as long as it's warm 180 00:10:23,116 --> 00:10:25,350 and lots of whipped cream, you know. 181 00:10:25,484 --> 00:10:27,452 - Mmm. - Bob loves my pie, right? 182 00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:30,288 - I do love your pie. Very much. - Yeah, Bob loves my pie. 183 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:32,591 Sounds like you guys are talking about vagina. 184 00:10:32,724 --> 00:10:34,226 - Oh, Bill! - What? 185 00:10:34,359 --> 00:10:37,396 Oh, good Lord! I know what you meant. 186 00:10:37,529 --> 00:10:39,665 No, we were actually talking about vagina. 187 00:10:39,798 --> 00:10:41,733 - No, we weren't. - Oh, stop it. 188 00:10:44,236 --> 00:10:46,938 Bobby, when are you gonna marry this girl? 189 00:10:47,073 --> 00:10:48,407 Mom, please. 190 00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:50,809 - Peas? - No, Dad. I don't want peas. 191 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,878 I want grandbabies, for goodness sake. 192 00:10:53,011 --> 00:10:55,180 I know you want grandbabies. You say that every weekend. 193 00:10:55,313 --> 00:10:57,649 - What are you guys waiting for? - Mother... 194 00:10:59,418 --> 00:11:01,386 Mary Ann Baldinger? 195 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,488 Uh, give me one second. 196 00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:06,758 Why don't you take him away somewhere romantic? 197 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:10,796 Mrs. Baldinger. This is a surprise. How are you? 198 00:11:10,929 --> 00:11:14,133 Not so good, Bobby. Sheldon needs you. Now. 199 00:11:14,266 --> 00:11:17,569 - We're at Silver Linings. - Silver Linings? Like, the rehab? 200 00:11:17,703 --> 00:11:20,472 Yes. I'll explain when you get here. Come now. 201 00:11:23,375 --> 00:11:25,410 - I'm sorry, you guys. I have to run. - What? 202 00:11:25,544 --> 00:11:27,080 - Is everything okay? - Yeah, I'll see you back at the house. 203 00:11:27,212 --> 00:11:29,681 - Do you want me to go with you? - Nope. You enjoy yourselves. 204 00:11:31,249 --> 00:11:33,885 - Eat your casserole. - I can... 205 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,390 Okay. Okay. 206 00:11:49,035 --> 00:11:50,302 What? 207 00:11:52,071 --> 00:11:53,238 What is going on? 208 00:11:53,371 --> 00:11:54,840 Shouldn't his wife be here? Where's Nikki? 209 00:11:54,973 --> 00:11:57,008 Nikki? The bitch filed for divorce, 210 00:11:57,143 --> 00:12:00,812 sold the shares back to the investors, and moved to Jamaica. 211 00:12:00,946 --> 00:12:02,514 What? 212 00:12:02,647 --> 00:12:05,317 He is in a dark, dark place, Bobby. 213 00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:08,054 Sheldon's a good boy. Do you know what it's like 214 00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:11,256 watching your boy wasting away in front of your eyes? 215 00:12:11,389 --> 00:12:13,625 I can't even imagine, Mrs. B. I am so sorry. 216 00:12:13,759 --> 00:12:15,494 I need you to do something for me. 217 00:12:15,627 --> 00:12:17,029 Yeah, anything. You name it. 218 00:12:17,163 --> 00:12:18,430 Get the boys back together. 219 00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:20,432 Yeah. Whatever you need. We'll take him out, 220 00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:22,000 - maybe go on a vacation. - No. 221 00:12:22,135 --> 00:12:24,770 His counselor said Sheldon needs something to live for. 222 00:12:24,903 --> 00:12:28,040 He needs a win. He needs those games. 223 00:12:28,174 --> 00:12:29,474 - The Buddy Games? - Yeah. 224 00:12:29,608 --> 00:12:31,543 No. No, no, no. 225 00:12:31,676 --> 00:12:33,246 That's... That's not gonna happen. 226 00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:35,680 I'm not asking. I'm telling. 227 00:12:35,814 --> 00:12:38,084 If you have any compassion in your soul whatsoever, 228 00:12:38,217 --> 00:12:40,285 you will do this for my boy. 229 00:12:41,319 --> 00:12:43,588 Oh, don't be a pussy. 230 00:12:44,289 --> 00:12:45,824 You were always a leader of men. 231 00:12:45,957 --> 00:12:47,926 What did the boys used to call you? 232 00:12:50,096 --> 00:12:52,564 - The Bobfather. - And why did they call you that? 233 00:12:52,697 --> 00:12:55,300 Because I was their leader. 234 00:12:55,433 --> 00:12:57,302 Exactly. 235 00:12:57,435 --> 00:12:59,604 Now, you rally those troops. 236 00:13:00,372 --> 00:13:02,307 - Shake. All right. - All right. 237 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,709 Oh, you're a good boy, Bobby. 238 00:13:07,146 --> 00:13:08,380 God... 239 00:13:09,815 --> 00:13:12,818 - Whoop. Excuse me. - Hey, Bob. 240 00:13:17,022 --> 00:13:18,423 Shelly? 241 00:13:18,557 --> 00:13:20,859 What are you doing here, Bob? 242 00:13:20,992 --> 00:13:24,130 Holy shit! What... Uh, you look... 243 00:13:24,263 --> 00:13:26,098 Like a runway model? 244 00:13:26,232 --> 00:13:28,433 You know... 245 00:13:29,302 --> 00:13:31,237 - Why are you here, Bob? - Uh... 246 00:13:32,205 --> 00:13:34,539 Uh, could we go talk someplace a little more private? 247 00:13:34,673 --> 00:13:37,943 Sure. Just let Bruce finish first. 248 00:13:38,077 --> 00:13:39,444 You hungry, fella? 249 00:13:39,578 --> 00:13:41,379 I know it feels like he's taking stuff off, 250 00:13:41,513 --> 00:13:43,448 but he's actually putting things on your head. 251 00:13:48,987 --> 00:13:51,257 - Mmm! - What, you got cocaine in here? 252 00:13:51,389 --> 00:13:52,891 How the fuck did you get cocaine in here? 253 00:13:53,024 --> 00:13:54,492 Crushed-up SweeTARTS. 254 00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:56,394 Desperate times, brother. 255 00:13:56,528 --> 00:13:59,865 So, uh, I don't see you for years, 256 00:13:59,998 --> 00:14:02,667 and then you just show up on my doorstep like this. 257 00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,036 Uh, you don't see me for y... 258 00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:06,038 We've been trying to track you down for years. 259 00:14:06,172 --> 00:14:09,175 - What do you want, Bob? - I want my best friend back. 260 00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:10,675 That's what I want. 261 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:13,145 I want to know what the hell happened to you. 262 00:14:13,279 --> 00:14:15,847 And why are you here... Five years? 263 00:14:17,582 --> 00:14:19,784 Oh, come on, man. 264 00:14:19,918 --> 00:14:21,519 Seriously? 265 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:24,823 What could be so bad that you had to go down this road? 266 00:14:26,424 --> 00:14:29,128 I lost my right testicle that night, Bob. 267 00:14:30,962 --> 00:14:33,832 Oh, I... I didn't... I didn't... 268 00:14:33,965 --> 00:14:35,533 I didn't know that. I'm sorry. 269 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,270 Yeah, that night they did surgery. 270 00:14:37,402 --> 00:14:39,138 I didn't feel anything for days, man. 271 00:14:39,272 --> 00:14:41,573 I mean, it might have been the OxyContin talking, 272 00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:43,875 but, whoo, son! 273 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,878 But, uh something still wasn't right. 274 00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,147 What do you mean? 275 00:14:48,281 --> 00:14:49,748 I guess in all the chaos, 276 00:14:49,881 --> 00:14:51,917 nobody thought to check on my left nut, 277 00:14:52,051 --> 00:14:54,452 - the only one I had left. - Oh, no. 278 00:14:54,586 --> 00:14:56,122 It got a little staph infection, 279 00:14:56,255 --> 00:14:59,358 and they had to remove that one too. 280 00:14:59,491 --> 00:15:00,692 So you... 281 00:15:00,825 --> 00:15:02,427 Lost both my balls? Yeah. 282 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,364 Ah, Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry, man. 283 00:15:05,497 --> 00:15:08,433 I had no idea. I don't even know what to say. 284 00:15:08,566 --> 00:15:12,071 I'm a fuckin' textbook alpha male, honest. 285 00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:13,605 I am a wrecking ball. 286 00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:15,640 - I am a killing machine. - Okay. Okay. 287 00:15:15,774 --> 00:15:18,710 I bring food back to the village and lay all the women. 288 00:15:21,147 --> 00:15:24,716 You know, life hasn't been all that good to me either, just so you know. 289 00:15:24,849 --> 00:15:27,852 My company is completely in the shitter. 290 00:15:27,986 --> 00:15:30,889 I'm practically broke. I'm living in a one-bedroom apartment. 291 00:15:31,022 --> 00:15:32,224 - Really? - Yeah. 292 00:15:34,793 --> 00:15:38,130 Goddamn it, man! We were on top of the world, weren't we? 293 00:15:38,264 --> 00:15:41,233 Look, I know we're not as young and bulletproof as we used to be, 294 00:15:41,367 --> 00:15:43,735 but we got to where we were because we were good at what we did. 295 00:15:43,868 --> 00:15:47,672 Who says that got to settle because life dealt us a couple of shitty hands? 296 00:15:47,806 --> 00:15:49,941 You know what we need? 297 00:15:50,076 --> 00:15:51,143 A gun. 298 00:15:52,178 --> 00:15:54,813 No, we don't... not a... No, we don't need a gun. 299 00:15:54,946 --> 00:15:56,815 Right. Two guns. One for each of us. Good catch. 300 00:15:56,948 --> 00:15:58,683 You know what else we need? 301 00:15:58,817 --> 00:16:01,486 - The Buddy Games. - You out of your fucking mind? 302 00:16:01,619 --> 00:16:03,688 - No. - That's the reason I'm in this place, 303 00:16:03,822 --> 00:16:05,724 in this goddamn robe, 304 00:16:05,857 --> 00:16:07,759 snorting crushed-up candies. 305 00:16:07,892 --> 00:16:10,895 I got tits, for Christ's sake! Fuck the Buddy Games! 306 00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:14,866 Let's not let one little hiccup destroy 20 years of greatness. 307 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,670 You are... the Buddy Games. 308 00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:21,606 You are our champion. You are our king. 309 00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:23,508 - We need you to save us. - I'm the king? 310 00:16:23,641 --> 00:16:25,211 - You're the king. - Who's the king? 311 00:16:25,344 --> 00:16:26,611 - You. - Mm-mmm. 312 00:16:26,745 --> 00:16:28,580 - Shelly. - Shelly's the fucking king. 313 00:16:28,713 --> 00:16:30,615 If I'm the king, then I get to decide who's there. 314 00:16:30,749 --> 00:16:32,385 Okay, sure. 315 00:16:32,517 --> 00:16:34,153 Then Bender can't be there. 316 00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:37,289 Really? 317 00:16:37,423 --> 00:16:40,359 - Come on. - Yeah, he's an asshole, but he's one of us. 318 00:16:40,493 --> 00:16:41,926 What? After what he did to me? 319 00:16:42,061 --> 00:16:44,330 Then forget it, man. Fuck you. Save yourselves. 320 00:16:44,463 --> 00:16:47,932 Okay, okay, you know what? Fine, fine. He doesn't even have to know. 321 00:16:48,067 --> 00:16:50,668 I'll call everybody else except for Bender. 322 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,304 Get those fucking games back on. 323 00:16:52,438 --> 00:16:53,738 - Right on. One more thing. - What? 324 00:16:53,872 --> 00:16:55,341 Let me tell the guys. 325 00:16:55,474 --> 00:16:57,109 - About what? - My balls. 326 00:16:57,243 --> 00:16:58,643 What balls? 327 00:16:59,378 --> 00:17:02,081 Too soon, sorry. Come on. 328 00:17:03,548 --> 00:17:05,251 Just give me a... 329 00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:10,021 Bear. Look at you. 330 00:17:13,691 --> 00:17:15,827 What's the matter with you? 331 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,230 - Tell me you're in. - Are you kidding me? 332 00:17:18,364 --> 00:17:21,200 Fuck, yeah! Yeah, I'm in! 333 00:17:21,966 --> 00:17:24,170 Bitches are going down! 334 00:17:28,807 --> 00:17:30,642 Stay Golden. 335 00:17:30,775 --> 00:17:32,911 - Zanester! - Bobfather! 336 00:17:33,045 --> 00:17:34,813 "Boobfather." 337 00:17:34,946 --> 00:17:37,483 What's up, man? 338 00:17:37,615 --> 00:17:39,884 - The games are back, baby! - What? 339 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,820 - And Shelly's in. - You're kidding me. 340 00:17:41,953 --> 00:17:43,355 - No, I'm not. - Shelly's... 341 00:17:43,489 --> 00:17:45,790 Yeah, count me in, man. Count me in. Sounds delish. 342 00:17:45,924 --> 00:17:48,860 - All right, buddy, let's talk soon. - Okay. 343 00:17:49,761 --> 00:17:51,330 Holy shit. 344 00:17:51,464 --> 00:17:53,998 Whoo! 345 00:18:03,175 --> 00:18:06,112 - Bobby! - Hey, Durfy, you got a minute to talk? 346 00:18:06,245 --> 00:18:08,147 - Uh... - Okay, that's a cut on rehearsal. 347 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,483 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a second. 348 00:18:10,615 --> 00:18:14,320 - I'm just shooting a major motion picture right now. - Please face camera. 349 00:18:14,453 --> 00:18:16,788 Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. So what's up, dude? 350 00:18:16,921 --> 00:18:18,690 Buddy Games, they're back. Are you in? 351 00:18:18,823 --> 00:18:21,460 Um, I feel like that would be a little weird without Shelly now. 352 00:18:21,594 --> 00:18:23,496 - No, no, he's in. - Then I'm there. 353 00:18:23,628 --> 00:18:26,198 - I can't wait to see him. - All right, I'll talk to you soon, buddy. 354 00:18:26,332 --> 00:18:28,567 Thank you, second team. First team on set. 355 00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:30,169 - Hey, Mr. McDonough. - Hey, how are you? 356 00:18:30,302 --> 00:18:33,038 Yeah, good. So your mark is right there. 357 00:18:33,172 --> 00:18:35,006 - Thank you. - Yeah, you're gonna be looking... 358 00:18:35,141 --> 00:18:38,144 - Right. Mm, mm, mm... - ...right over there. Okay. 359 00:18:38,277 --> 00:18:41,213 Don't be too nervous. You already got the job. 360 00:18:41,347 --> 00:18:43,382 Maybe grab a quick pic, though, together? 361 00:18:43,516 --> 00:18:46,585 - Then we can tag each other. - Inappropriate, but, yeah, sure. 362 00:18:46,718 --> 00:18:48,220 - Have you heard of Facebook? - Yeah, I guess. 363 00:18:48,354 --> 00:18:49,888 - I'm gonna pop it on there. - That's great. 364 00:18:50,021 --> 00:18:51,624 Hey, here with my top dog, 365 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,058 - Neil McDonough. - Is that a video? 366 00:18:53,192 --> 00:18:54,959 - It is a video. Is that okay? - Yeah, n... 367 00:18:55,094 --> 00:18:57,163 - You'd rather I take a picture? - Second team, what are you doing? 368 00:18:57,296 --> 00:18:59,365 One second. I'll just do a video. I'll be really quick. 369 00:19:16,048 --> 00:19:17,183 Hello? 370 00:19:17,316 --> 00:19:18,450 Hey. 371 00:19:19,652 --> 00:19:23,155 - Looks like someone's been busy. - I have been busy. 372 00:19:24,822 --> 00:19:26,559 What do you think about taking a vacation? 373 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:29,662 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah? Oh, my gosh, good. 374 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,896 'Cause I went through our calendars, and there's a couple things we can move, 375 00:19:32,031 --> 00:19:34,066 and we can make it work out. We can go anywhere. 376 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,368 Do you smell something burning? 377 00:19:36,502 --> 00:19:38,537 Oh! Damn it. 378 00:19:38,671 --> 00:19:41,005 Oh! Ugh! 379 00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:42,107 Oh! 380 00:19:42,241 --> 00:19:43,442 Are you... 381 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,946 Dang! I burned it. 382 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:51,250 Could you... Could you turn back? 383 00:19:52,084 --> 00:19:53,619 I made three of these. 384 00:19:53,751 --> 00:19:57,122 The other two didn't actually turn out so well either, but... 385 00:19:57,256 --> 00:19:58,823 oh, well. 386 00:19:58,957 --> 00:20:02,661 Well, you know what? We can always scrape it off and still eat the inside. 387 00:20:04,729 --> 00:20:07,966 Oh, I was gonna ask you, what was going on with Mrs. Baldinger? 388 00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:10,469 Oh, uh... Yeah, no, that's... 389 00:20:10,603 --> 00:20:13,505 Shelly's not doing so hot. He is on suicide watch. 390 00:20:13,639 --> 00:20:15,674 - What? Poor Sheldon. - Yeah. 391 00:20:15,807 --> 00:20:17,109 He needs my help, babe. 392 00:20:17,243 --> 00:20:18,910 Yeah, of course. Whatever he needs. 393 00:20:19,044 --> 00:20:21,913 Mary Ann thinks that I should get the guys back together 394 00:20:22,047 --> 00:20:24,683 for the Buddy Games. 395 00:20:24,816 --> 00:20:26,918 - And what'd you tell her? - Well, no. 396 00:20:27,052 --> 00:20:29,321 - Good. - At first, and then I said yes. 397 00:20:29,455 --> 00:20:32,191 - And then you said yes? - Of course. You know? 398 00:20:32,324 --> 00:20:34,993 Are you sure you don't want to think about this for a second? 399 00:20:35,127 --> 00:20:37,296 - I have thought about it. - You have thought about it? 400 00:20:37,429 --> 00:20:39,764 It's a really good idea. What better to get him off his feet? 401 00:20:39,897 --> 00:20:42,800 You really think that getting the guys together for a weekend of teabagging 402 00:20:42,934 --> 00:20:44,703 will stop Sheldon from killing himself? 403 00:20:44,836 --> 00:20:47,139 Yeah. I do. 404 00:20:47,273 --> 00:20:49,308 Okay, so then, um, what's next for us? 405 00:20:49,441 --> 00:20:51,310 Um... 406 00:20:52,211 --> 00:20:53,878 - Oh, my God, you don't know. - I do know. 407 00:20:54,012 --> 00:20:55,681 - You don't know. - Yeah, I know. 408 00:20:57,449 --> 00:20:59,451 We've grown up, and it's not gonna be like it was before. 409 00:20:59,585 --> 00:21:01,153 How do you know? You haven't seen these guys in forever. 410 00:21:01,287 --> 00:21:03,589 Can somebody open the goddamn door? 411 00:21:03,722 --> 00:21:05,157 Is that Bender? 412 00:21:05,291 --> 00:21:07,526 Oh, sounds like he's grown up. I'm gonna go. 413 00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:09,861 You know what? That's a good idea. Let me deal with him, 414 00:21:09,994 --> 00:21:11,563 and I'll meet you for dinner later. 415 00:21:11,697 --> 00:21:14,600 - No, Bob, I'm leaving. - What do you mean, you're... 416 00:21:14,733 --> 00:21:16,635 Okay. 417 00:21:16,769 --> 00:21:19,104 You have the Buddy Games, right? 418 00:21:19,238 --> 00:21:21,440 I'm taking the helicopter. 419 00:21:29,381 --> 00:21:31,983 Dixon fuckin' Bender. 420 00:21:32,117 --> 00:21:34,386 - How are you, man? - Well, I'd be lying 421 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,456 if I said everything was rainbows and unicorns. 422 00:21:37,589 --> 00:21:38,990 You're still struggling, huh? 423 00:21:39,124 --> 00:21:41,293 Yeah, I've been eating shit, actually. 424 00:21:41,427 --> 00:21:44,829 Went through my mom's inheritance, and, uh, now I'm living in my van. 425 00:21:44,962 --> 00:21:46,632 So, you know, fuck me. 426 00:21:46,765 --> 00:21:49,934 I don't want to talk about it. Know what I want to talk about? 427 00:21:50,069 --> 00:21:52,204 I want to talk about Buddy Games. 428 00:21:52,338 --> 00:21:55,374 - Uh, what about Buddy Games? - I heard through the grapevine 429 00:21:55,507 --> 00:21:59,144 not only are they back on, but Shelly's back? 430 00:21:59,278 --> 00:22:01,513 Where the fuck has he been, and why didn't you call me? 431 00:22:01,647 --> 00:22:04,583 - Uh, listen... - I want to know when and where they are. 432 00:22:04,717 --> 00:22:05,983 I need to sleep on your couch. 433 00:22:06,118 --> 00:22:08,654 I'll take a bed. I'll take whatever. 434 00:22:08,787 --> 00:22:10,389 But I need some sleep. 435 00:22:11,190 --> 00:22:15,494 Uh... there's an entry fee this year. 436 00:22:15,627 --> 00:22:16,994 Okay, yeah. All right. 437 00:22:17,129 --> 00:22:19,931 Like, how much? Like, ten bucks? 438 00:22:21,834 --> 00:22:24,303 $10,000? Our friends that I've known... 439 00:22:24,436 --> 00:22:26,338 we've known forever... they now all of a sudden 440 00:22:26,472 --> 00:22:29,974 have $10,000 in side cash they can just throw around? 441 00:22:30,109 --> 00:22:32,211 Durfy does? He still owes me 20 bucks. 442 00:22:32,344 --> 00:22:34,179 - That's what the guys wanted to do. I'm sorry. - Fine. 443 00:22:34,313 --> 00:22:36,548 We'll play your high-stakes shit, okay? 444 00:22:36,682 --> 00:22:40,085 But I want to play, so can you front me the money? 445 00:22:40,219 --> 00:22:42,154 No. Things are, uh, a little tight 446 00:22:42,287 --> 00:22:43,856 at the moment, so I can't. 447 00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:45,791 Yeah, I can tell. You're roughing it. 448 00:22:45,923 --> 00:22:49,261 Just let me play. You can. You can because you're the Bobfather. 449 00:22:49,395 --> 00:22:52,164 So you created this world. You make the rules. 450 00:22:52,297 --> 00:22:54,932 So you could go, "Hey, remember our friend Bender? 451 00:22:55,067 --> 00:22:57,136 Can he come and play?" 452 00:22:58,570 --> 00:23:01,840 I can't. Just figured it out. Shelly. 453 00:23:01,973 --> 00:23:03,742 Now this makes sense. Holy shit. 454 00:23:03,876 --> 00:23:05,644 Because five years ago, 455 00:23:05,778 --> 00:23:07,679 I accidentally cracked his nut. 456 00:23:07,813 --> 00:23:10,048 - I'm really sorry, okay? - He lost both of his balls. 457 00:23:10,182 --> 00:23:13,352 - He lost both his fucking balls. - What? 458 00:23:13,485 --> 00:23:14,919 Goddamn you, man! 459 00:23:15,053 --> 00:23:16,488 Both of them? 460 00:23:17,890 --> 00:23:20,024 - I don't want to talk about it. You got to go. - Bob, I didn't know. 461 00:23:20,159 --> 00:23:21,560 - You got to go. - All right, all right. 462 00:23:21,693 --> 00:23:24,163 I love you, dude, but you gotta fucking go. 463 00:23:39,044 --> 00:23:41,012 You're leaving right now? 464 00:23:41,146 --> 00:23:42,714 Where are you going? 465 00:23:45,050 --> 00:23:47,853 Really? Really, Bob? 466 00:23:47,985 --> 00:23:51,857 You can't float me any cash? Really? 467 00:23:51,989 --> 00:23:54,326 Damn it, man! Come on! 468 00:23:54,460 --> 00:23:56,161 What a dick! 469 00:24:05,504 --> 00:24:08,040 All right, I'll tell you what. 470 00:24:08,173 --> 00:24:10,876 I'll give you 25 for the china, 50 for the ring, 471 00:24:11,008 --> 00:24:14,112 - Fifty? - A hundred for the locket, a hundred for the paintings, 472 00:24:14,246 --> 00:24:17,516 and, uh, $100 for the rest of this crap. 473 00:24:17,649 --> 00:24:20,319 - 375. We got a deal? - What? No, we don't have a deal. 474 00:24:20,452 --> 00:24:24,056 $50 for a diamond? That was my mother's wedding ring. 475 00:24:24,189 --> 00:24:26,291 It's fake, fella. 476 00:24:26,425 --> 00:24:27,860 What? 477 00:24:27,992 --> 00:24:30,662 Fuckin' motherfucker! 478 00:24:30,796 --> 00:24:33,031 She gave him 47 years. 479 00:24:33,165 --> 00:24:35,033 That should be a Purple Heart! 480 00:24:35,167 --> 00:24:36,869 That would actually be worth something. 481 00:24:37,001 --> 00:24:38,370 Fine. Okay. 482 00:24:38,504 --> 00:24:40,739 All right, fine. What about the china? 483 00:24:40,873 --> 00:24:43,242 You can't tell me that's fake. 'Cause that says, 484 00:24:43,375 --> 00:24:45,511 "Made in China." Okay. 485 00:24:45,644 --> 00:24:47,679 So I will take no less 486 00:24:47,813 --> 00:24:50,716 than a thousand for all this, and that's final. 487 00:24:50,849 --> 00:24:52,651 I'll tell you what. 488 00:24:52,784 --> 00:24:54,586 I'll give you 375. 489 00:24:56,020 --> 00:24:58,123 She's still dead. 490 00:24:59,191 --> 00:25:01,393 500. $500. 491 00:25:01,527 --> 00:25:02,661 Okay. 492 00:25:03,362 --> 00:25:05,163 I don't normally do this... 493 00:25:06,164 --> 00:25:07,499 but I'm gonna give you 375. 494 00:25:07,633 --> 00:25:11,370 Oh, you're really having fun, aren't you? 495 00:25:14,506 --> 00:25:16,675 Can I hold the locket one more time? 496 00:25:17,442 --> 00:25:19,711 Can you give me that, you surly fuck? 497 00:25:23,248 --> 00:25:25,617 - Can I keep the picture? - Sure. 498 00:25:25,751 --> 00:25:28,120 That'll be $5. 499 00:25:32,157 --> 00:25:34,192 Hey! 500 00:25:34,326 --> 00:25:36,828 - Asshole! - Sorry. I'm in training. 501 00:25:36,962 --> 00:25:39,197 We're gonna test your range of motion, all right? 502 00:25:39,331 --> 00:25:41,500 I want you to hold on to this ball here, 503 00:25:41,633 --> 00:25:44,136 and you're gonna go from side to side. 504 00:25:44,269 --> 00:25:46,705 Oh! He steals the ball! 505 00:25:46,838 --> 00:25:48,874 Oh! 506 00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:51,843 Mr. Hornbacher, I am so sorry. 507 00:25:53,078 --> 00:25:55,747 Yeah, some lemonade, please. 508 00:25:57,549 --> 00:25:59,117 Thank you. 509 00:25:59,918 --> 00:26:02,220 Thank you. 510 00:26:12,497 --> 00:26:15,367 Hey, what do we have here? 511 00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:18,037 Saddle up, you old grisly bird. 512 00:26:18,170 --> 00:26:21,006 Yeah. 513 00:26:21,139 --> 00:26:22,808 Yeah, beauty. 514 00:26:22,941 --> 00:26:24,576 Cheers. 515 00:26:24,710 --> 00:26:26,712 You're breaking the law, mister! 516 00:26:26,845 --> 00:26:30,749 You need a liquor license to sell vodka. 517 00:26:30,882 --> 00:26:34,252 And you need to recognize a business opportunity. 518 00:26:34,386 --> 00:26:37,556 So MYOB, little bitches! 519 00:26:37,689 --> 00:26:40,692 - He just said the "B" word! - Shame on you! 520 00:26:40,826 --> 00:26:42,461 You're both gonna be strippers when you grow up, 521 00:26:42,594 --> 00:26:44,863 really bad ones that no one pays to see. 522 00:26:44,997 --> 00:26:46,131 Ew! 523 00:26:46,264 --> 00:26:48,800 I'm texting the police! 524 00:26:48,934 --> 00:26:50,435 Fuck. 525 00:26:53,605 --> 00:26:55,374 - Hey, what are you doing? - Stop! 526 00:26:55,507 --> 00:26:57,609 Hey, come back here! 527 00:26:57,743 --> 00:26:59,144 Get on the pole! 528 00:26:59,277 --> 00:27:00,679 What are you doing? Stop! 529 00:27:00,812 --> 00:27:04,349 - Give us our money! Come back! - You're bad kids! 530 00:27:07,019 --> 00:27:09,855 - He took our money! - Stop! Hey! 531 00:27:12,058 --> 00:27:13,092 Pig! 532 00:27:13,225 --> 00:27:14,793 Mom! 533 00:27:17,863 --> 00:27:19,698 She didn't tell me. 534 00:27:19,831 --> 00:27:22,401 I thought I had cancer, damn it. Okay. 535 00:27:22,534 --> 00:27:24,336 I thought I had cancer, damn it. 536 00:27:24,469 --> 00:27:27,572 You all knew what I was, and you didn't tell me? 537 00:27:27,706 --> 00:27:30,542 I thought I had cancer, damn it! 538 00:27:32,045 --> 00:27:33,679 Hmm. 539 00:27:34,312 --> 00:27:35,781 Fuck. 540 00:27:37,649 --> 00:27:39,885 What the fuck. Was that any good? 541 00:27:44,523 --> 00:27:46,324 - Yeah. - Hey, little brother. 542 00:27:46,458 --> 00:27:47,993 Little busy today. What do you need? 543 00:27:48,127 --> 00:27:50,529 I need to borrow a couple bucks. 544 00:27:51,563 --> 00:27:53,465 Thought you said this Hollywood thing was working out. 545 00:27:53,598 --> 00:27:56,334 It is. I just murdered an audition 546 00:27:56,468 --> 00:27:58,637 for a CW pilot right before I called you. 547 00:27:58,770 --> 00:28:01,540 And I'm in postproduction on something right now. 548 00:28:01,673 --> 00:28:02,941 What the fuck is postproduction? 549 00:28:03,076 --> 00:28:06,611 I star in a national commercial for the Marines. 550 00:28:06,745 --> 00:28:08,680 Well, I'm sure Dad would have been proud. 551 00:28:08,814 --> 00:28:10,716 He'd have been more proud if you were an actual fucking Marine. 552 00:28:10,849 --> 00:28:13,585 Jack, you are hurting my feelings a little bit, but yes. 553 00:28:13,719 --> 00:28:16,655 Jesus Christ. Listen to me. Do you know how hard it is 554 00:28:16,788 --> 00:28:18,757 trying to keep this family business profitable 555 00:28:18,890 --> 00:28:21,094 without having to finance your little pipe dreams? 556 00:28:21,226 --> 00:28:22,794 Dad left this to you, not me. 557 00:28:22,928 --> 00:28:25,330 How long's it gonna be before you figure out 558 00:28:25,464 --> 00:28:28,366 that this acting thing is a fucking waste of time? 559 00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:33,039 You know, sister's out here. Belly's as big as shit, 560 00:28:33,172 --> 00:28:34,973 but she's sweating her balls off just like the rest of us. 561 00:28:35,108 --> 00:28:37,409 So why don't you think about that while you're out there 562 00:28:37,542 --> 00:28:39,978 in La-La Land eating your goddamn avocado sandwiches? 563 00:28:40,113 --> 00:28:42,781 - You don't know what I... - I got work to do. Real work. 564 00:28:42,914 --> 00:28:45,417 Look it up. Fuck-head. 565 00:29:00,866 --> 00:29:03,035 Full penetration's an extra hundred. 566 00:29:03,169 --> 00:29:05,470 Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! 567 00:29:05,604 --> 00:29:07,572 I'm giving you the early-bird special. 568 00:29:07,706 --> 00:29:10,008 Shut up and dig! Dig, boy! 569 00:29:11,576 --> 00:29:13,311 How many labias do you have? 570 00:29:13,445 --> 00:29:16,149 Oh, I just farted! Just keep going! 571 00:29:16,281 --> 00:29:17,983 Oh, it's bad! 572 00:29:22,188 --> 00:29:23,855 Oh, no! 573 00:29:23,989 --> 00:29:28,326 No! 574 00:29:39,038 --> 00:29:40,806 Looking great, hon. 575 00:29:40,939 --> 00:29:43,642 - Yeah? - Gorgeous. 576 00:29:43,775 --> 00:29:45,577 Come on, angel. Time to go. 577 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:51,316 Hey, honey, it's me, checking in again. 578 00:29:52,584 --> 00:29:54,853 I just want to make sure that you're okay out there, 579 00:29:54,986 --> 00:29:56,788 wherever you are. 580 00:29:56,922 --> 00:29:59,391 I just want to know why you stormed off like that, 581 00:29:59,524 --> 00:30:01,960 why you hate these guys so much. 582 00:30:02,094 --> 00:30:03,695 Look, we need to talk. 583 00:30:40,599 --> 00:30:42,834 Oh, here we are. 584 00:30:46,072 --> 00:30:47,873 Okay. 585 00:30:48,006 --> 00:30:50,408 Oh, wow. 586 00:30:50,542 --> 00:30:53,678 Oh, I bet this brings back some fond memories, huh? 587 00:30:54,913 --> 00:30:57,916 Last time I was here, I was getting wheeled out on a stretcher. 588 00:30:58,683 --> 00:31:00,219 Well, not that memory. 589 00:31:00,353 --> 00:31:03,588 - Welcome back, buddy! - Oh, hey. 590 00:31:03,722 --> 00:31:05,523 - You made it. - Yeah. 591 00:31:05,657 --> 00:31:07,525 Hey, I got to defend my title, right? 592 00:31:07,659 --> 00:31:09,195 - I'm gonna take that back. - Hey! Hey! 593 00:31:09,328 --> 00:31:12,864 Oh, talking smack already. How much fun is this, huh? 594 00:31:12,998 --> 00:31:16,302 - All right, Mama. - Okay, I'll let you boys be. 595 00:31:16,434 --> 00:31:18,337 - Come on. - Hold that for a second. 596 00:31:18,470 --> 00:31:22,208 Just a second. You only hold it while I get out of the car. 597 00:31:22,341 --> 00:31:24,377 Good luck, sweetie. 598 00:31:24,509 --> 00:31:26,212 - So good to see you. - Give 'em hell, hon. 599 00:31:26,345 --> 00:31:27,812 - Bye, Mom. Thanks. - Bye, Mary Ann. 600 00:31:27,946 --> 00:31:29,714 - Thanks. - Bye, Mama. Thank you. 601 00:31:29,848 --> 00:31:33,352 - Welcome back, man. - The place hasn't changed much. 602 00:31:33,485 --> 00:31:35,087 Yeah. Yeah. 603 00:31:36,488 --> 00:31:38,090 Hey, there's, uh... 604 00:31:39,325 --> 00:31:42,527 There's something that I wasn't entirely honest with you about. 605 00:31:42,661 --> 00:31:45,997 - My company did well. - How well? 606 00:31:46,132 --> 00:31:50,936 Well, I sold it for... approximately 387 million. 607 00:31:51,070 --> 00:31:52,671 Wow! That's... 608 00:31:52,804 --> 00:31:55,408 - I'm... Holy... - Yeah, it's been a... 609 00:31:55,540 --> 00:31:58,643 - Congratulations, brother. - ...a pretty good couple of years, thanks. 610 00:31:59,577 --> 00:32:01,546 Life just hasn't been the same without you. 611 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,682 That part was true. 612 00:32:04,883 --> 00:32:07,420 You didn't tell the guys about my... 613 00:32:07,552 --> 00:32:10,189 Your balls? No. No. Definitely not. 614 00:32:11,489 --> 00:32:13,326 I'm not sure I can believe you now, Bob. 615 00:32:13,458 --> 00:32:15,061 Yeah? Well, believe this. 616 00:32:15,194 --> 00:32:17,629 - You're with friends now. - Hey, boobs! 617 00:32:17,762 --> 00:32:20,899 - Is that your dad? - Hey, Mr. Schmidt. 618 00:32:21,033 --> 00:32:23,135 No, no, no. That's... That's Shelly. 619 00:32:23,969 --> 00:32:26,105 Oh, my God. What the hell? 620 00:32:26,238 --> 00:32:28,540 Holy shit, Sheldon! 621 00:32:28,673 --> 00:32:31,243 - Fuck you guys. - Are you kidding me? 622 00:32:31,377 --> 00:32:33,212 He's back! 623 00:32:33,346 --> 00:32:35,381 Get the fuck off of me. 624 00:32:35,513 --> 00:32:37,816 Get off of me. Get off of me. 625 00:32:38,750 --> 00:32:40,952 Hands off, hands off. 626 00:32:41,087 --> 00:32:43,055 That's right. 627 00:32:45,458 --> 00:32:46,958 Oh, so, um, 628 00:32:47,093 --> 00:32:49,362 I had to say goodbye to the guys in Bon Jovi 629 00:32:49,494 --> 00:32:53,032 and start the journey home, man. 630 00:32:53,165 --> 00:32:55,700 I just realized I couldn't run from it anymore. 631 00:32:55,834 --> 00:32:58,037 That's reality. That's it. 632 00:32:58,170 --> 00:33:01,273 You still got his number, Bon Jovi? 633 00:33:03,675 --> 00:33:05,111 Come on, Doc. Some decorum. 634 00:33:05,244 --> 00:33:08,381 Shel, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that, man. 635 00:33:08,546 --> 00:33:09,781 Thanks. 636 00:33:09,914 --> 00:33:11,816 But tell me about the chicks from Tibet, man. 637 00:33:11,950 --> 00:33:13,885 'Cause I've heard they're smoking hot. True or false? 638 00:33:14,019 --> 00:33:15,754 - Nah, I never heard that. - I never heard that. 639 00:33:15,887 --> 00:33:17,356 You guys haven't heard... 640 00:33:17,490 --> 00:33:19,624 The point is that our king is back. Look at this. 641 00:33:19,758 --> 00:33:22,061 He sure as hell is. 642 00:33:22,194 --> 00:33:24,296 Let's make a toast. Oh, wait. Somebody's here. 643 00:33:24,430 --> 00:33:27,299 - Nut check! - Oh! 644 00:33:27,433 --> 00:33:29,834 Oh! Oh! 645 00:33:29,968 --> 00:33:33,705 Nut tap! You're lucky they were low. I didn't really feel much. 646 00:33:33,838 --> 00:33:37,809 You dodged a bullet. I just felt log. 647 00:33:37,942 --> 00:33:40,246 I'm very happy to see we're still doing that. 648 00:33:40,379 --> 00:33:42,148 No shit, because that is... 649 00:33:42,281 --> 00:33:44,983 That's the kind of stuff I missed, man, all my travels. 650 00:33:45,117 --> 00:33:47,886 It was the camaraderie, being with you guys, just... 651 00:33:48,019 --> 00:33:50,256 the connection with other people, you know? 652 00:33:50,389 --> 00:33:52,724 I feel bad I didn't reach back out to you guys. 653 00:33:52,857 --> 00:33:56,761 'Cause I got all the cards and the notes and everything. I just had a lot on my mind. 654 00:33:56,895 --> 00:33:59,331 - It just wasn't... - You kidding? We love you, man. 655 00:33:59,465 --> 00:34:01,233 What... 656 00:34:05,271 --> 00:34:07,139 I know that horn. Yeah. 657 00:34:07,273 --> 00:34:08,606 It's got to be. 658 00:34:08,740 --> 00:34:10,842 Whoo! What? 659 00:34:11,510 --> 00:34:13,878 What? Buddy Games! 660 00:34:14,012 --> 00:34:16,082 Yeah! 661 00:34:16,215 --> 00:34:19,385 - There he is! - Hey, you guys, Bender's here! 662 00:34:19,518 --> 00:34:21,586 You fucking bastard. 663 00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:23,855 He's not supposed to be here. 664 00:34:23,988 --> 00:34:25,790 Come on. I'm not gonna miss the Buddy Games. 665 00:34:25,924 --> 00:34:27,359 That's insane. What's up, Durf? 666 00:34:27,493 --> 00:34:29,161 Bender! 667 00:34:29,295 --> 00:34:32,131 - Who's that guy? - Hey, man. How are ya? 668 00:34:33,165 --> 00:34:34,266 Are you lost? 669 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,102 Sheldon. What's up, bud? 670 00:34:36,235 --> 00:34:38,370 I got nothing to say to you, buddy. 671 00:34:38,504 --> 00:34:40,506 You got a lot of fucking nerve showing your face here. 672 00:34:40,638 --> 00:34:43,675 I knew you were gonna say that, and I'm here for peace. 673 00:34:43,808 --> 00:34:45,810 Okay? Hear me out. 674 00:34:49,081 --> 00:34:51,649 Look, man, the past is in the past, dude. 675 00:34:51,783 --> 00:34:54,652 There's nothing we can do about it. What happened, happened. 676 00:34:54,786 --> 00:34:57,089 All I care about is the future 677 00:34:57,223 --> 00:34:59,158 and our prosperity, 678 00:34:59,291 --> 00:35:01,025 and that's why I'm here. 679 00:35:01,659 --> 00:35:03,995 Sheldon, I give you... 680 00:35:04,130 --> 00:35:07,632 - Cuban cigars. - No, Doc, but good guess. 681 00:35:07,765 --> 00:35:10,402 This is something a little bit more special. 682 00:35:19,211 --> 00:35:20,146 What is this? 683 00:35:20,279 --> 00:35:21,679 It's my... my seed. 684 00:35:21,813 --> 00:35:24,816 My... baby sauce. 685 00:35:24,949 --> 00:35:27,052 - What? - Dick matter. 686 00:35:34,460 --> 00:35:37,630 - Are you... Are you for real? - Wow, Dixon fucking Bender. 687 00:35:37,762 --> 00:35:39,764 Oh, that's a lot of loads. 688 00:35:39,898 --> 00:35:41,400 Uh, it's nine, to be exact. 689 00:35:41,534 --> 00:35:42,700 Whoa, there. 690 00:35:42,834 --> 00:35:44,570 - Dude, two days, that took me. - Ugh. 691 00:35:44,702 --> 00:35:47,473 Bender, you are a fucking hero, man. 692 00:35:48,474 --> 00:35:50,509 - That's kind of weird, man. - Was there a memo? 693 00:35:50,643 --> 00:35:52,710 Were we supposed to bring semen? I didn't bring semen. Durfy? 694 00:35:52,844 --> 00:35:56,182 Bender, that's a very gross present. Why did you give him that? 695 00:35:56,315 --> 00:35:59,084 It's not gross. It's not gross, okay? 696 00:35:59,218 --> 00:36:02,354 Our friend, our very good friend here, Sheldon, 697 00:36:02,488 --> 00:36:05,757 he lost both of his testicles. 698 00:36:06,458 --> 00:36:07,692 Oh... 699 00:36:08,793 --> 00:36:10,095 Is that true, Shelly? 700 00:36:13,731 --> 00:36:15,867 It's true. I, uh... They're both gone. 701 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,505 I'm... I'm, uh... I'm like a Ken doll down there now. 702 00:36:19,638 --> 00:36:21,873 Hey, Ken had a good life. 703 00:36:22,006 --> 00:36:26,078 He had a hot blonde, a Corvette. Right? 704 00:36:27,112 --> 00:36:29,582 Ah, look, I mean, I can't complain. 705 00:36:29,714 --> 00:36:32,016 - Now I can have kids. - You can have dozens. 706 00:36:32,151 --> 00:36:35,054 So, that's my peace offering, 707 00:36:35,187 --> 00:36:39,091 and I just want to know, are we cool? 708 00:36:42,194 --> 00:36:44,463 Yeah. Yeah. 709 00:36:44,597 --> 00:36:46,165 All right. Whew! 710 00:36:46,298 --> 00:36:47,765 - Oh, thank God. - Are you kidding me? 711 00:36:47,899 --> 00:36:49,301 - Come on. - Love you, brother. 712 00:36:49,435 --> 00:36:51,303 It worked. Thought we were gonna see some blows. 713 00:36:51,437 --> 00:36:53,871 Thank you very much. That's really fucking awesome. 714 00:36:54,005 --> 00:36:56,108 I love that. Know what else I love? Alcohol! 715 00:36:56,242 --> 00:36:57,710 Let's go to the tiki bar. Come on. 716 00:36:57,842 --> 00:36:59,712 - Tiki bar! - All right. 717 00:36:59,844 --> 00:37:01,080 Go for it. 718 00:37:01,980 --> 00:37:04,049 - I can't believe that worked... - Thanks, Bob. 719 00:37:04,183 --> 00:37:06,185 'Cause that's your fault, right? 720 00:37:07,152 --> 00:37:08,721 - Whoa! - What the hell? 721 00:37:08,853 --> 00:37:11,557 Dude, what is all this money? What is that? 722 00:37:11,690 --> 00:37:13,958 Dude, it was not easy. 723 00:37:14,093 --> 00:37:16,595 I mean, a $10,000 entry fee? 724 00:37:16,729 --> 00:37:18,397 That was not easy to scrape up, 725 00:37:18,530 --> 00:37:20,865 but I banged and bartered my way for those Benjamins. 726 00:37:20,999 --> 00:37:23,569 Pretty much sold my soul, and, uh, don't give a shit. 727 00:37:23,702 --> 00:37:25,870 But at the end of the day, I'm gonna win that... 728 00:37:26,004 --> 00:37:28,540 ♪ $60,000, whores ♪ 729 00:37:28,674 --> 00:37:30,709 Entry fee? What entry fee? 730 00:37:30,842 --> 00:37:33,045 - I'm lost. - Bender... 731 00:37:34,012 --> 00:37:36,482 I'm sorry, Bender. There was never an entry fee. 732 00:37:36,615 --> 00:37:38,450 What? 733 00:37:38,584 --> 00:37:43,021 I'm sorry, but I didn't have the heart to tell you, man, you weren't invited. 734 00:37:43,155 --> 00:37:45,324 We didn't feel comfortable with you here this year. 735 00:37:45,457 --> 00:37:48,627 You know, you could've told me that. That would have been a lot easier. 736 00:37:48,761 --> 00:37:50,396 I didn't think you were gonna come up with ten thou... 737 00:37:50,529 --> 00:37:53,399 I mean, 10,000 bucks? Really? That's crazy! 738 00:37:53,532 --> 00:37:55,234 - Oh, my God. - Are you fucking kidding me? 739 00:37:55,367 --> 00:37:58,270 I made up everything about the fee and the pot. I'm sorry. 740 00:37:58,404 --> 00:38:02,074 You're sorry? I sold all of my shit! All of it! 741 00:38:02,207 --> 00:38:04,076 I sold all my mom's stuff. 742 00:38:04,209 --> 00:38:07,246 I gave a bum a hand job for $30. 743 00:38:07,379 --> 00:38:10,182 - Ooh, expand on that. - No, I'm not going to. You want to smell my hand? 744 00:38:10,316 --> 00:38:12,618 I don't think so. No, probably not. 745 00:38:12,751 --> 00:38:14,320 Bob, you fucked me, man! 746 00:38:14,453 --> 00:38:16,722 You promised me 60 grand, so you better fix this. 747 00:38:16,854 --> 00:38:19,792 I can't get that stuff back. I can't take that hand job back. 748 00:38:19,924 --> 00:38:23,128 This has always been about pride. You said it yourself. This is about the brotherhood. 749 00:38:23,262 --> 00:38:24,962 This is not about money or anything else. 750 00:38:25,097 --> 00:38:26,432 Oh, fuck that! 751 00:38:26,565 --> 00:38:28,534 Yeah, it's not about money, because you have money. 752 00:38:28,667 --> 00:38:30,602 - All right? Zane. - Yeah? 753 00:38:30,736 --> 00:38:33,405 Could you use $60,000 for your tanning business? 754 00:38:33,539 --> 00:38:35,574 - Yes. - Yeah. 755 00:38:35,708 --> 00:38:38,043 - Durf, what about you, bud? - Yeah. 756 00:38:38,177 --> 00:38:41,380 - It's a hard yes from you. It should be. Doc? - Yeah. 757 00:38:41,513 --> 00:38:44,316 Exactly. And Shelly needs new straitjackets. You see, Bob? 758 00:38:44,450 --> 00:38:47,086 We all fucking need. 759 00:38:47,219 --> 00:38:51,423 But not you, man. You don't have the need for anything. 760 00:38:55,993 --> 00:38:58,397 Zane, could I spot you 10,000 bucks? 761 00:38:58,530 --> 00:39:00,366 - Just this once. - What about you, Durfy? Can I spot you? 762 00:39:00,499 --> 00:39:03,602 - What about you? Doc? Shelly? - Yeah, I won't say no. 763 00:39:03,736 --> 00:39:05,170 50,000 bucks. 764 00:39:05,304 --> 00:39:07,272 - That's great. What about you? - What about me? 765 00:39:07,406 --> 00:39:09,208 What are you gonna spot yourself? 766 00:39:09,941 --> 00:39:11,477 Can you believe this fucking guy? 767 00:39:11,610 --> 00:39:12,644 Well, yeah. 768 00:39:12,778 --> 00:39:14,847 It's so crazy! I sold all my shit. 769 00:39:15,848 --> 00:39:18,217 I'm gonna match the fucking pot. How does that sound? 770 00:39:18,350 --> 00:39:20,853 Hundred thousand bucks! 771 00:39:20,985 --> 00:39:22,287 We're gonna play for 100,000 bucks. 772 00:39:22,421 --> 00:39:24,623 I like it, I don't love it. 773 00:39:24,757 --> 00:39:26,023 - One-fifty. - Yes! Done. 774 00:39:26,158 --> 00:39:29,094 - 150,000 bucks! - 150 grand! 775 00:39:29,228 --> 00:39:33,165 - Oh! - Looks like we got ourselves a Buddy Game. 776 00:39:34,233 --> 00:39:35,334 Yes! 777 00:39:41,607 --> 00:39:44,008 All right, boys, here we go! 778 00:39:44,143 --> 00:39:45,844 The Buddy Games are back, baby! 779 00:39:47,746 --> 00:39:50,749 Kicking off this year's event: Kong's Crucible. 780 00:39:50,883 --> 00:39:52,518 It's a giant obstacle course, 781 00:39:52,651 --> 00:39:54,853 complete with corn dogs, bubble balls, 782 00:39:54,986 --> 00:39:57,189 watermelons, electric eels. 783 00:39:57,322 --> 00:39:59,425 - What's that? - Don't ask. 784 00:39:59,558 --> 00:40:01,827 Once you get through there, it's mud pits, 785 00:40:01,959 --> 00:40:03,629 motorcycles, beer bongs, 786 00:40:03,762 --> 00:40:06,732 and one big-ass waterslide. 787 00:40:06,865 --> 00:40:09,835 You're gonna catch a lot of air, I'm gonna warn you right now, 788 00:40:09,967 --> 00:40:11,236 but, very important to note, 789 00:40:11,370 --> 00:40:13,405 the only way you win is if you capture the flag. 790 00:40:13,539 --> 00:40:16,007 Whoever captures the flag wins the event. 791 00:40:16,141 --> 00:40:18,410 Top three finalists at the end of today's events 792 00:40:18,544 --> 00:40:21,313 competes in tomorrow's final event, the endgame. 793 00:40:21,447 --> 00:40:23,682 Oh, by the way, Shelly, we got near beer for you. 794 00:40:23,816 --> 00:40:25,651 - Copy. - Wait, what? 795 00:40:25,784 --> 00:40:28,687 - He's in the program, Bender. - I can't mix my meds with alcohol. 796 00:40:28,821 --> 00:40:30,155 He can't drink alcohol period. 797 00:40:30,289 --> 00:40:31,890 That seems like an unfair advantage. 798 00:40:32,023 --> 00:40:34,860 - It's still beer, dick face! - Why don't you just get him a Fresca. 799 00:40:34,992 --> 00:40:38,530 Are you trying to mind-fuck me, mijo? 'Cause I invented mind-fucking. 800 00:40:38,664 --> 00:40:41,200 - I'll come all over your mind. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 801 00:40:41,333 --> 00:40:43,202 What the fuck is wrong with you? 802 00:40:43,335 --> 00:40:45,237 Insane Clown Pussy. 803 00:40:45,370 --> 00:40:47,639 Are you ready for this? 804 00:40:48,340 --> 00:40:50,007 - Boom! - Eat! 805 00:41:15,234 --> 00:41:17,102 Goddamn, dude! 806 00:41:21,106 --> 00:41:23,208 What the fuck? 807 00:42:11,223 --> 00:42:13,725 High voltage? What... 808 00:42:20,465 --> 00:42:23,702 - Oh! Oh, God! - Get over here! 809 00:42:47,125 --> 00:42:48,827 Go, go, go, go! 810 00:43:03,308 --> 00:43:06,445 Fuck you! Eat it! Eat it! 811 00:43:13,052 --> 00:43:14,620 Coming for you! 812 00:43:14,753 --> 00:43:16,089 Come on! 813 00:43:16,221 --> 00:43:18,023 I can suck way harder than you, Bender! 814 00:43:18,156 --> 00:43:20,158 Let's get it! 815 00:43:23,862 --> 00:43:25,397 Fuck it. 816 00:43:34,740 --> 00:43:35,874 Ah, good! 817 00:43:36,008 --> 00:43:37,509 Cheaters! 818 00:43:39,177 --> 00:43:41,313 Not today! 819 00:43:42,414 --> 00:43:44,916 Don't touch me, Bender! Aaah! 820 00:43:48,121 --> 00:43:51,823 I am Kong King! 821 00:43:57,030 --> 00:43:58,897 Stop Shelly! 822 00:44:06,938 --> 00:44:08,373 Oh, no! Oh, no! 823 00:44:08,507 --> 00:44:11,376 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! 824 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:17,215 Son of a bitch! 825 00:44:52,185 --> 00:44:53,719 You finished? 826 00:44:53,852 --> 00:44:56,089 Bob put zero effort into this event. 827 00:44:56,221 --> 00:44:57,556 This is fucking dumb. 828 00:44:57,689 --> 00:44:59,791 Oh, come on. I lost my whole lure. 829 00:45:04,229 --> 00:45:05,931 Is there money in there? 830 00:45:06,065 --> 00:45:07,999 - Open it. - Be careful, Doc. 831 00:45:13,106 --> 00:45:14,673 Yeah! 832 00:45:15,741 --> 00:45:17,876 Oh, no! 833 00:45:20,046 --> 00:45:22,781 - Don't touch it! Don't touch it! - Oh, God! 834 00:45:43,169 --> 00:45:44,436 Yeah, baby. 835 00:45:44,569 --> 00:45:46,105 Okay. Remember them well. 836 00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,540 All right, here we are, boys... the old watering hole. 837 00:45:48,673 --> 00:45:50,809 The old Spread Eagle Bar and Grill. 838 00:45:52,644 --> 00:45:54,913 It's also the home of our next challenge. 839 00:45:55,047 --> 00:45:56,848 So full of curveballs. 840 00:45:56,982 --> 00:45:58,416 Who here thinks they got what it takes 841 00:45:58,550 --> 00:45:59,885 when it comes to charming the ladies? 842 00:46:01,653 --> 00:46:02,921 Well, that's part of it. 843 00:46:03,055 --> 00:46:04,956 You think you can get a girl to buy you a drink? 844 00:46:05,091 --> 00:46:06,758 Okay, easy enough. 845 00:46:06,892 --> 00:46:08,994 Take them on the dance floor and maybe get a kiss on the lips? 846 00:46:09,128 --> 00:46:11,230 - Oh, please. - Bob, come on. 847 00:46:11,363 --> 00:46:13,431 Okay, well, who can do that 848 00:46:13,565 --> 00:46:16,001 without shitting your pants first? 849 00:46:18,204 --> 00:46:20,106 Yeah, you all got real serious now, didn't you? 850 00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:22,340 - Bob, that's perverse. - Nope, that's the next challenge. 851 00:46:22,474 --> 00:46:24,342 I like to call it "intestinal fortitude." 852 00:46:24,476 --> 00:46:27,312 Man, this is the dumbest shit ever. Are you fucking kidding me? 853 00:46:27,445 --> 00:46:29,148 - No. - Corn dogs and laxatives? 854 00:46:29,282 --> 00:46:31,650 You are the ones that wanted to play for 150,000 bucks. 855 00:46:31,783 --> 00:46:33,351 I'm just trying to make you earn it. 856 00:46:33,485 --> 00:46:35,420 Sounds like somebody doesn't want to compete. 857 00:46:35,554 --> 00:46:38,023 - And if you don't compete... - You must concede. 858 00:46:38,157 --> 00:46:41,993 I'm not conceding! I'm a fucking cock rooster. Gonna get me a chicken. 859 00:46:42,128 --> 00:46:44,629 - Here we go. - Oh, man. 860 00:47:04,250 --> 00:47:05,684 Oh, my God. 861 00:47:06,918 --> 00:47:09,621 - Your bag is everything. - Oh, thank you. 862 00:47:09,754 --> 00:47:12,058 - I'm sorry. May I? - Absolutely. 863 00:47:12,191 --> 00:47:13,892 - Look at that. - It's watermelon. 864 00:47:14,025 --> 00:47:16,195 I think I might be the last piece to this puzzle. 865 00:47:16,329 --> 00:47:18,264 Oh! 866 00:47:20,066 --> 00:47:21,633 My mouth is very dry. 867 00:47:21,766 --> 00:47:24,337 - Can I get you a drink? - You are so very sweet. 868 00:47:24,469 --> 00:47:26,438 - Absolutely. - I... Just this once. 869 00:47:26,571 --> 00:47:29,308 - Okay. What do you like? - Oh, anything that's wet. 870 00:47:29,441 --> 00:47:30,475 - Oh... - Oh! 871 00:47:30,609 --> 00:47:32,510 Hey, can you buy me a drink? 872 00:47:32,644 --> 00:47:34,113 I live in my van. 873 00:47:34,247 --> 00:47:35,714 What? No. 874 00:47:36,648 --> 00:47:38,483 I'll chow your box for a week. 875 00:47:38,617 --> 00:47:40,418 You like vodka? 876 00:47:40,552 --> 00:47:43,021 - Yeah. - Yeah. 877 00:47:43,155 --> 00:47:44,522 Two wet ones. 878 00:47:44,656 --> 00:47:46,758 Yeah, hi. This is Dr. Kelly. 879 00:47:53,565 --> 00:47:56,102 You look like you need a blow job. 880 00:47:58,304 --> 00:48:00,039 - Shot, silly. - Oh. 881 00:48:00,172 --> 00:48:01,240 What did you think I meant? 882 00:48:01,374 --> 00:48:03,541 Uh, you know, oral... 883 00:48:04,910 --> 00:48:07,946 Can you please just call me back? I miss you. 884 00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:09,215 All right, bye. 885 00:48:09,348 --> 00:48:12,817 Oh, shit. I'm so sorry. 886 00:48:13,752 --> 00:48:15,754 I would buy you a drink... 887 00:48:16,755 --> 00:48:19,658 but my friends and I are playing this ridiculous game 888 00:48:19,791 --> 00:48:22,128 where we're trying to get women to buy us drinks. 889 00:48:22,261 --> 00:48:24,096 That's refreshingly honest. 890 00:48:24,230 --> 00:48:27,999 - It's ridiculous. - I feel like buying you a drink. 891 00:48:28,134 --> 00:48:30,669 - Okay. - What'll it be? 892 00:48:31,270 --> 00:48:33,538 Uh-oh. You look lonely. 893 00:48:33,672 --> 00:48:37,176 The cure for that is, you buy me a drink, 894 00:48:37,310 --> 00:48:38,677 and I'll sit... 895 00:48:39,477 --> 00:48:41,147 I'll save this seat for you. 896 00:48:41,947 --> 00:48:43,648 You know what drinking makes me want to do? 897 00:48:43,782 --> 00:48:46,918 - What's that? - It makes me want to feel, and it makes me want to move. 898 00:48:47,053 --> 00:48:49,454 - You want to move with me? - Ooh, absolutely! 899 00:48:49,587 --> 00:48:52,158 Oh, I know you. Hi, Durf. 900 00:48:54,659 --> 00:48:56,995 Here we go. Here it is. 901 00:48:57,129 --> 00:48:58,964 There's a kink there that's very sensitive 902 00:48:59,098 --> 00:49:00,832 - on the right side, yeah. - Oh, I can feel that. 903 00:49:00,966 --> 00:49:02,567 Why don't you order us a couple drinks, 904 00:49:02,701 --> 00:49:04,502 and I'll get you all fixed up? 905 00:49:04,636 --> 00:49:06,571 Um, sure. 906 00:49:06,705 --> 00:49:09,141 Eddie, two vodka cranberry. 907 00:49:09,275 --> 00:49:11,077 Careful. I'm very sensitive. 908 00:49:11,210 --> 00:49:14,246 Nice and loosey-goosey. Nice and loosey-goosey. 909 00:49:14,380 --> 00:49:15,714 Aaah! 910 00:49:15,847 --> 00:49:17,716 - Oh, yeah, there you go. - Oh, God! 911 00:49:17,849 --> 00:49:21,387 - How's that? Nice? - I think you just made it worse. 912 00:49:21,519 --> 00:49:25,091 - Stand up. Let's check that weight distribution. - Okay, hang on. 913 00:49:25,224 --> 00:49:28,760 - I love your hair. Do you sleep in the woods? - Sometimes. 914 00:49:28,893 --> 00:49:31,397 I got a half a bottle of Fireball parked outside 915 00:49:31,529 --> 00:49:34,599 in my Kia Sorento, if you're interested in coming out back. 916 00:49:35,234 --> 00:49:36,435 Yes. Yes, I am. 917 00:49:36,568 --> 00:49:37,802 - Yes, I am. - Good. 918 00:49:37,936 --> 00:49:41,506 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Save it, kitty. Save it. 919 00:49:41,639 --> 00:49:44,909 Let's hit the dance floor, and you can ride me like a fucking animal. 920 00:49:45,044 --> 00:49:47,979 I will. I will. Okay, let's go. 921 00:49:57,822 --> 00:50:00,525 If you let your hips go, 922 00:50:00,658 --> 00:50:02,560 your neck will follow. 923 00:50:02,694 --> 00:50:04,963 Wait a minute. Are you trying to dance with me? 924 00:50:05,097 --> 00:50:07,066 Yeah. No, I'm... 925 00:50:08,633 --> 00:50:11,270 Oh, no. 926 00:50:11,404 --> 00:50:12,937 Oh, no! 927 00:50:13,571 --> 00:50:15,207 Where's the bathroom? 928 00:50:15,341 --> 00:50:17,243 That's it for Doc. 929 00:50:20,912 --> 00:50:22,814 - I don't want to buy you a drink. - What's the big deal? 930 00:50:22,947 --> 00:50:25,317 - Fuck off, please. - What did you say to me? 931 00:50:25,451 --> 00:50:28,953 - I said, "Walk off." - Hey! The lady said no, asshole. 932 00:50:29,088 --> 00:50:32,924 - Fuck off, shrimp dick. Come on. Please. - No! 933 00:50:34,460 --> 00:50:36,128 Hey, bud, how's it going? 934 00:50:36,262 --> 00:50:38,364 How does it look like it's going, bitch? 935 00:50:38,497 --> 00:50:39,898 Okay. 936 00:50:40,032 --> 00:50:42,201 Zane, I forgot what a good dancer you are, man. 937 00:50:42,334 --> 00:50:44,969 - Yeah? - What was that move you used to do back in the day? 938 00:50:45,104 --> 00:50:47,139 It was sick. You used to kill it. 939 00:50:47,273 --> 00:50:51,410 It's not a move, Bender. It's called art. 940 00:50:51,544 --> 00:50:53,812 - Hey, dude, break it out, man. - Yeah? 941 00:50:53,945 --> 00:50:54,946 Yeah. 942 00:50:55,081 --> 00:50:58,050 - Here at the Spread Eagle? - Yeah. 943 00:50:58,184 --> 00:50:59,918 Okay. 944 00:51:02,188 --> 00:51:04,256 Oh! 945 00:51:04,390 --> 00:51:07,226 Oh, Bender, you made me... 946 00:51:07,359 --> 00:51:10,463 - Oh! - What happened? 947 00:51:10,595 --> 00:51:13,099 I'm having a hard time understanding what's she's doing. 948 00:51:13,232 --> 00:51:15,667 Why would she do that? She just left. 949 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:17,902 She just left, and... and I'm... 950 00:51:18,037 --> 00:51:21,273 I'm a little busted up about it. 951 00:51:21,407 --> 00:51:23,741 I mean, she's... I love her. 952 00:51:23,875 --> 00:51:26,178 She is beautiful. Tiff... 953 00:51:32,585 --> 00:51:34,120 You like that, huh? 954 00:51:34,253 --> 00:51:37,856 Who's the shrimp dick now, huh? 955 00:51:37,989 --> 00:51:39,624 Let me go, shrimp dick! 956 00:51:39,757 --> 00:51:41,327 What's up, Durf? 957 00:51:41,460 --> 00:51:43,362 Having some troubles? Struggling a little bit? 958 00:51:43,496 --> 00:51:44,696 I'm good. 959 00:51:44,829 --> 00:51:45,897 You don't look good. 960 00:51:46,031 --> 00:51:47,399 Oh, fuck! 961 00:51:47,533 --> 00:51:49,135 Let it out! 962 00:51:51,537 --> 00:51:55,773 I'm gonna crush you, you little Oompa Loompa motherfucker! 963 00:51:55,907 --> 00:51:59,478 Shh, shh. Go to sleep. Shh, just let it happen. 964 00:51:59,612 --> 00:52:02,414 Shh. 965 00:52:02,548 --> 00:52:04,350 Shh. 966 00:52:05,117 --> 00:52:07,453 Yes! Yeah! 967 00:52:14,527 --> 00:52:16,828 Congratulations, Bender. 968 00:52:24,537 --> 00:52:25,837 Hey, Shelly. 969 00:52:25,970 --> 00:52:28,607 You looked pretty good until the fight started. 970 00:52:28,740 --> 00:52:30,075 I don't want to talk about it. 971 00:52:30,209 --> 00:52:32,144 - That guy was really small. - Bender... 972 00:52:32,278 --> 00:52:35,013 I know they like to be called little people, but I'd classify that guy... 973 00:52:35,147 --> 00:52:37,550 - Shut your cock pocket. - What the fuck are we doing here? 974 00:52:37,715 --> 00:52:41,019 - Seriously, Bob. I have meat strapped to my face. - Hold your horses, boys. 975 00:52:41,153 --> 00:52:43,755 It'll be here momentarily. But first, 976 00:52:43,888 --> 00:52:46,791 I decided to throw a little curveball into this one. 977 00:52:46,925 --> 00:52:49,662 - Oh! - We're gonna hit this. 978 00:52:49,794 --> 00:52:52,097 - Oh, man. - Oh, fuck, yes. Let's get weird. 979 00:52:52,231 --> 00:52:53,831 - Please! - What does that mean? 980 00:52:53,965 --> 00:52:55,700 You're saying you've never smoked pot? 981 00:52:55,833 --> 00:52:57,469 You don't fucking know what I do 982 00:52:57,603 --> 00:52:58,803 when I go to the clubs, man. 983 00:52:58,937 --> 00:53:00,939 I get super paranoid when I smoke grass. 984 00:53:01,073 --> 00:53:03,042 Come on. You know the rules. Buddy Games, baby. 985 00:53:03,175 --> 00:53:05,444 - If you can't compete, you must concede. - It's medicinal. 986 00:53:05,578 --> 00:53:08,113 Bet I'm the only one that's smoked hash. 987 00:53:08,247 --> 00:53:10,182 Guys, they test sometimes on movie sets. 988 00:53:10,316 --> 00:53:11,916 I don't know if I can have this in my system. 989 00:53:12,051 --> 00:53:13,918 That's the shit that killed Hendrix. 990 00:53:14,053 --> 00:53:16,921 Yeah, boy! Bye, bye, brain. 991 00:53:19,258 --> 00:53:20,725 Take it. 992 00:53:20,858 --> 00:53:22,261 - Got it? - Got it. 993 00:53:23,229 --> 00:53:25,130 Don't bogart that shit. 994 00:53:26,632 --> 00:53:28,234 Fuck you. 995 00:53:31,537 --> 00:53:33,172 Holy shit. 996 00:53:33,305 --> 00:53:36,275 You're blowing it out and sucking it in at the same time? 997 00:53:38,310 --> 00:53:40,878 - This is a bad idea. - All right, boys. 998 00:53:41,012 --> 00:53:43,215 The final event of the day. 999 00:53:44,015 --> 00:53:46,252 This is not a game of strength 1000 00:53:46,385 --> 00:53:48,387 or endurance, but rather a test of courage, 1001 00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:52,358 and it will determine tomorrow's three finalists in the endgame. 1002 00:53:52,491 --> 00:53:55,728 So ask yourselves, how bad do you want that money, boys? 1003 00:53:55,860 --> 00:53:57,895 - Bad. Real bad. - Real bad. 1004 00:53:58,030 --> 00:53:59,931 The game is simple. 1005 00:54:00,065 --> 00:54:02,735 The last one to keep his head above board wins. 1006 00:54:02,867 --> 00:54:04,637 Enter the dragon! 1007 00:54:04,769 --> 00:54:06,272 What? 1008 00:54:09,441 --> 00:54:11,343 - Bob, what the fuck is that thing? - What the fuck is that? 1009 00:54:11,477 --> 00:54:14,213 - What the fuck is that, man. - It's a dinosaur. 1010 00:54:20,386 --> 00:54:23,088 Hey, Bob. Bob left. 1011 00:54:23,222 --> 00:54:25,857 Bob, what a fucking coward. 1012 00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:44,743 Yeah. Look at Shelly and his juicy, fat head. 1013 00:54:44,876 --> 00:54:47,279 Eat off the rest of his hair. 1014 00:54:49,947 --> 00:54:51,116 Doc! 1015 00:54:51,250 --> 00:54:53,218 - Oh, my God! - Doc! 1016 00:54:53,352 --> 00:54:56,288 - Tell me you're okay! - That was intense. 1017 00:54:56,422 --> 00:54:59,857 Doc, talk to me! Doc, just talk! 1018 00:54:59,991 --> 00:55:01,794 He senses fear! 1019 00:55:01,926 --> 00:55:04,330 Doc was weak, like you, Zane. 1020 00:55:04,463 --> 00:55:05,863 Yeah. 1021 00:55:10,235 --> 00:55:12,571 Yeah, I'm not afraid. 1022 00:55:12,705 --> 00:55:14,906 Oh, no. Oh, God. 1023 00:55:16,375 --> 00:55:18,444 No. No. 1024 00:55:23,881 --> 00:55:27,018 Ugh! I'm sorry, Mom! 1025 00:55:33,192 --> 00:55:36,395 That's it, motherfucker. That's it, motherfucker. 1026 00:55:36,528 --> 00:55:38,130 Huh? 1027 00:55:38,263 --> 00:55:40,566 Shelly, get out of there. You win, man. 1028 00:55:40,699 --> 00:55:43,868 - What are you doing? - You want a piece of me, huh? 1029 00:55:44,001 --> 00:55:47,872 You stupid fucking pea-brained lizard, you think I'm scared of you? 1030 00:55:48,005 --> 00:55:49,675 Shelly, man, you already won. Get out of there! 1031 00:55:49,808 --> 00:55:52,144 Where is it? Where is it? Come on! 1032 00:55:52,277 --> 00:55:54,313 Oh, my God! 1033 00:56:08,926 --> 00:56:10,162 Hey. 1034 00:56:12,765 --> 00:56:13,799 You all right? 1035 00:56:13,931 --> 00:56:16,201 Uh-huh. Good times, man. 1036 00:56:16,335 --> 00:56:18,103 You're sort of gazing right into that fire. 1037 00:56:18,237 --> 00:56:21,507 I'm just a little worried about you. 1038 00:56:24,309 --> 00:56:26,445 Hey, look, I know you're pissed at me right now... 1039 00:56:26,578 --> 00:56:30,048 Why would I be pissed at you? 'Cause you lied to me about everything? 1040 00:56:30,182 --> 00:56:33,085 I'm sorry that I lied to you. I am. But I did it for... 1041 00:56:33,218 --> 00:56:35,220 Don't apologize. You literally saved my life. 1042 00:56:35,354 --> 00:56:38,257 - Well, I wouldn't go that far. I mean... - No. 1043 00:56:38,390 --> 00:56:41,059 This little reunion could just as easily have been my funeral, 1044 00:56:41,193 --> 00:56:44,196 but now I got a reason to live again, man. 1045 00:56:45,063 --> 00:56:47,932 And that? I owe that all to you, little buddy. 1046 00:56:51,203 --> 00:56:53,605 Can I get you anything? Another near beer? 1047 00:56:53,739 --> 00:56:55,307 Nah, I'm good. 1048 00:56:55,441 --> 00:56:58,410 - Okay. - You know what, though? I'm gonna get you something. 1049 00:56:58,544 --> 00:57:01,380 - Okay. - Show you how I feel about everything. 1050 00:57:01,513 --> 00:57:03,682 - Ooh! - Oh, yeah. 1051 00:57:29,675 --> 00:57:33,111 - How many cards you want, Doc? - Hey, fellas. 1052 00:57:33,245 --> 00:57:35,080 Look, I'm a little embarrassed 1053 00:57:35,214 --> 00:57:37,516 by my behavior earlier... I got a little crazy there. 1054 00:57:37,649 --> 00:57:42,054 It's just been a long day of excruciating pain and humiliation. 1055 00:57:42,187 --> 00:57:44,456 I feel bad about the way I behaved. 1056 00:57:44,590 --> 00:57:47,059 I feel better now because being with you guys means the world to me. 1057 00:57:47,192 --> 00:57:51,096 As a token of my appreciation, I made you guys these frosty piña coladas. 1058 00:57:51,230 --> 00:57:53,365 One for everybody. Get in there! 1059 00:57:53,499 --> 00:57:56,335 - Can you get me one? - Guys... 1060 00:57:56,468 --> 00:57:58,737 - Thanks, man. - Look how frothy these are. 1061 00:57:58,871 --> 00:58:02,374 - Shelly did a fun thing. Look, Bob. - Thank you, bro. Wow. 1062 00:58:02,508 --> 00:58:04,843 Mmm. It's different, but it's good. 1063 00:58:04,977 --> 00:58:07,212 - Creamy, ooh. - I like it. 1064 00:58:07,346 --> 00:58:10,849 My mom always said, "If the drinks are free, drink till you can't walk or see." 1065 00:58:10,983 --> 00:58:14,086 Shelly, are you good? I thought you were on the wagon. 1066 00:58:14,219 --> 00:58:16,088 Never been better, buddy. Never been better. 1067 00:58:16,221 --> 00:58:18,891 This is exactly what I needed. 1068 00:58:19,023 --> 00:58:21,460 All right. Don't get too drunk and then whip your pants down 1069 00:58:21,593 --> 00:58:24,196 - and start playing with your empty bean bag chair. - All right. 1070 00:58:24,329 --> 00:58:27,165 - Hey, to Shelly. - To Shelly Belly. Love you, Shel. 1071 00:58:27,299 --> 00:58:28,834 Glad to have you back, brother. 1072 00:58:28,967 --> 00:58:31,236 Cheers, cheers. 1073 00:58:31,370 --> 00:58:33,472 Yo, Doc, I think you need to have 1074 00:58:33,605 --> 00:58:36,742 a doctor look at that thing. It's starting to drip. 1075 00:58:36,875 --> 00:58:37,876 I am a doctor, Durf. 1076 00:58:38,010 --> 00:58:39,211 So good, man! 1077 00:58:39,344 --> 00:58:40,546 I didn't mean it like that. 1078 00:58:40,679 --> 00:58:42,981 So how's La La Land treating you, bro? 1079 00:58:43,115 --> 00:58:44,349 Yeah, Hollywood man. 1080 00:58:44,483 --> 00:58:46,785 Pretty darn good. I'm feeling blessed. 1081 00:58:46,919 --> 00:58:50,322 - I got a lot of things coming down the pipeline. - That's great, man. 1082 00:58:50,455 --> 00:58:53,358 - Couple things in postproduction. - What's postproduction? 1083 00:58:53,492 --> 00:58:56,061 That's a good question. Editing, 1084 00:58:56,194 --> 00:58:58,664 color timing, scoring... 1085 00:58:58,797 --> 00:59:00,165 Scoring, verb... 1086 00:59:00,299 --> 00:59:02,234 What Zane does every night with the ladies. 1087 00:59:05,871 --> 00:59:07,839 You know what you should do? 1088 00:59:07,973 --> 00:59:11,009 Seriously. Work with Mark Wahlberg. 1089 00:59:11,143 --> 00:59:12,377 Guy is money. 1090 00:59:12,511 --> 00:59:14,813 He kicks all kinds of ass. 1091 00:59:14,947 --> 00:59:17,482 He's got that itty-bitty waist, but he seems like an accessible guy. 1092 00:59:17,616 --> 00:59:19,117 Like, the kind of guy you can talk to. 1093 00:59:19,251 --> 00:59:21,086 That's a really helpful tip. Thank you. 1094 00:59:21,219 --> 00:59:22,654 Yeah, for sure. 1095 00:59:22,788 --> 00:59:24,556 But seriously, like, what do you got, Durfy? 1096 00:59:24,690 --> 00:59:27,626 Uh, I was told not to let anybody watch this, 1097 00:59:27,759 --> 00:59:29,962 but I did get an early cut of something 1098 00:59:30,095 --> 00:59:32,831 that I have on my phone if you guys want to take a little look. 1099 00:59:32,965 --> 00:59:35,200 All right. 1100 00:59:35,334 --> 00:59:38,103 You can't tell anyone you saw this, though, okay? 1101 00:59:38,236 --> 00:59:41,473 This is what we call an industrial in the biz. 1102 00:59:43,442 --> 00:59:45,243 Oh, she's pregnant. 1103 00:59:45,377 --> 00:59:48,081 Who's that handsome guy? 1104 00:59:48,213 --> 00:59:50,115 - Black-and-white. Nice touch. - Artsy. 1105 00:59:50,248 --> 00:59:51,917 She's cute. 1106 00:59:52,051 --> 00:59:54,419 It's like Raging Bull. 1107 00:59:54,553 --> 00:59:57,222 It's got a great twist, too, you guys. 1108 01:00:05,130 --> 01:00:07,033 Oh, God, she's so good. 1109 01:00:07,165 --> 01:00:09,401 I really liked working with her. 1110 01:00:14,740 --> 01:00:16,541 Um... 1111 01:00:16,675 --> 01:00:18,143 - Oh, man. - Wow. 1112 01:00:18,276 --> 01:00:20,479 Man, she gets me when she gives that look. 1113 01:00:20,612 --> 01:00:22,781 - What do you think? - Yeah, it's... 1114 01:00:22,914 --> 01:00:24,316 Let me get this straight. 1115 01:00:24,449 --> 01:00:27,086 You stay at home, and your wife goes to war? 1116 01:00:27,219 --> 01:00:30,822 Yeah, well, um, you know, somebody has to watch the baby. 1117 01:00:30,956 --> 01:00:33,291 I didn't write it. I just act in it, so... 1118 01:00:33,425 --> 01:00:35,861 No, totally. America thanks you for your service, man. 1119 01:00:35,994 --> 01:00:39,398 - How do you make yourself cry? - On the day, I wasn't able to, 1120 01:00:39,531 --> 01:00:41,767 so they just put a drop in your eye. 1121 01:00:41,900 --> 01:00:44,302 - You didn't cry? - Well, not on that day. 1122 01:00:44,436 --> 01:00:46,304 - Wow! - I always though you actually cried. 1123 01:00:46,438 --> 01:00:49,574 - I think it looks real. - Come on. This... 1124 01:00:49,708 --> 01:00:52,511 We're his best friends. We owe him honesty here. 1125 01:00:52,644 --> 01:00:56,149 Durf, I love you. That's a terrible commercial. 1126 01:00:56,281 --> 01:00:59,451 That's 100% Rotten Tomatoes, man. 1127 01:00:59,584 --> 01:01:01,820 Yeah, I have other things maybe you'll dig. 1128 01:01:01,953 --> 01:01:03,722 Of course you will, and they'll be awesome. 1129 01:01:03,855 --> 01:01:06,324 No, we're all pro-troops, but that was anti-acting. 1130 01:01:06,458 --> 01:01:09,227 That's good, though, dude. Next time, Durf. 1131 01:01:09,361 --> 01:01:11,164 I'm kidding, Dude. 1132 01:01:11,296 --> 01:01:13,331 I'll get an eyedropper, dude. Don't well up. 1133 01:01:13,465 --> 01:01:16,234 I loved it. Hey, it's time to announce the finalists. 1134 01:01:16,368 --> 01:01:18,104 - Come on. Let's go. - This is go time. 1135 01:01:18,236 --> 01:01:19,971 - Come on, baby. - Come on. Let's go. 1136 01:01:21,306 --> 01:01:22,974 I liked your movie, Durf. 1137 01:01:23,109 --> 01:01:25,343 Thanks, man. 1138 01:01:26,545 --> 01:01:28,814 All right, boys, the moment we've all been waiting for. 1139 01:01:28,947 --> 01:01:31,349 As you can see, I stand among these tiki torches. 1140 01:01:31,483 --> 01:01:33,852 These three tiki torches represent the three guys 1141 01:01:33,985 --> 01:01:36,321 who will be competing in tomorrow's final event. 1142 01:01:36,455 --> 01:01:38,690 If I call your name, you're in. Ready? 1143 01:01:38,824 --> 01:01:40,892 And remember, we're playing for this. 1144 01:01:41,026 --> 01:01:42,828 - Yeah. - Hell, yeah. 1145 01:01:42,961 --> 01:01:46,631 - Say my name. - The first finalist in this year's Buddy Games is... 1146 01:01:46,765 --> 01:01:48,667 Bob Schmidt. 1147 01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:51,137 Is there a Bob Schm... Oh, that's me. 1148 01:01:51,269 --> 01:01:53,271 That's me. 1149 01:01:53,405 --> 01:01:56,142 All right, game one, game one. 1150 01:01:56,274 --> 01:01:58,243 Hey, check it. The score's right here. 1151 01:01:58,376 --> 01:02:01,313 And the next finalist is... 1152 01:02:01,446 --> 01:02:03,014 Dixon Bender. 1153 01:02:03,149 --> 01:02:05,118 - Yes! - What? 1154 01:02:05,283 --> 01:02:07,786 - I did better than Bender did. - I did not see that coming. 1155 01:02:07,919 --> 01:02:09,788 - Yep, I saw it coming. - I want a recount. 1156 01:02:09,921 --> 01:02:11,556 You'd be up here if you held your shit the longest. 1157 01:02:11,690 --> 01:02:13,625 That's right. And the third finalist 1158 01:02:13,759 --> 01:02:15,827 may not be the most athletic guy here. 1159 01:02:15,961 --> 01:02:18,131 - In fact, he's probably the least athletic guy here. - Doc. 1160 01:02:18,263 --> 01:02:21,600 - Oh, no. That's not good for me. - He demonstrated nerves of steel 1161 01:02:21,733 --> 01:02:25,037 in the face of dragons. It's Shelly Baldinger! 1162 01:02:25,171 --> 01:02:27,240 - Yeah! - You got to be kidding me! 1163 01:02:27,372 --> 01:02:29,841 - What? Are you joking? - Yep. 1164 01:02:29,975 --> 01:02:31,110 That's bullshit. 1165 01:02:31,244 --> 01:02:32,544 Don't look so down, Durf. 1166 01:02:32,677 --> 01:02:35,347 Maybe there's a tampon commercial in your future. 1167 01:02:35,480 --> 01:02:38,050 Yeah. Anything with a vagina, you know? 1168 01:02:38,184 --> 01:02:40,519 Or a fake baby. You fuckers. 1169 01:02:40,652 --> 01:02:44,022 I don't know how I'm not a finalist. 1170 01:02:44,157 --> 01:02:46,992 - I want a recount. - Hey, who wants a piña colada? 1171 01:02:47,126 --> 01:02:50,263 - I want a piña colada! - Who wants a piña colada? 1172 01:02:50,395 --> 01:02:52,964 When I say "piña," you say "colada"! 1173 01:02:53,099 --> 01:02:55,634 - Piña! Piña! - Colada! Colada! 1174 01:03:50,989 --> 01:03:52,424 Hey. 1175 01:03:54,327 --> 01:03:56,761 Hey. Shelly. 1176 01:03:57,296 --> 01:03:59,764 Shelly. 1177 01:04:01,566 --> 01:04:04,070 Guys. Guys, come here. Shelly's out cold here. 1178 01:04:04,203 --> 01:04:06,771 Oh, you know what that means. Balls and gravy! 1179 01:04:06,905 --> 01:04:09,541 No, no, no, no. I'm serious. I can't tell if he's breathing. 1180 01:04:09,674 --> 01:04:12,245 - What? He's just passed out. - All right, get out of my way. 1181 01:04:12,377 --> 01:04:14,546 Let me handle this. Let me handle this. 1182 01:04:17,316 --> 01:04:18,850 - Oh, no. - What? 1183 01:04:18,984 --> 01:04:21,254 - This is bad, guys. - Give it to us straight, Doc. 1184 01:04:21,386 --> 01:04:23,722 It's an impingement between C3 and C4. 1185 01:04:23,855 --> 01:04:25,557 Are you kidding me? Is he breathing? 1186 01:04:25,690 --> 01:04:27,692 Yes, he's breathing. He's fine. 1187 01:04:27,826 --> 01:04:29,561 He's just a big, ugly baby. 1188 01:04:29,694 --> 01:04:31,897 He's fine. He's sleeping. 1189 01:04:32,597 --> 01:04:35,600 Where's... Where's Durfy? 1190 01:04:35,734 --> 01:04:37,602 - I don't know. - That's odd. 1191 01:04:37,736 --> 01:04:40,373 - Durfy! - Durf! 1192 01:04:40,505 --> 01:04:43,175 - Durfy! Durfy! - Durf! Durf! 1193 01:04:44,609 --> 01:04:46,611 This is bullshit. 1194 01:04:46,745 --> 01:04:49,481 I'm gonna pack my bags and get out of here. 1195 01:04:54,819 --> 01:04:57,189 What the hell is that? 1196 01:05:03,595 --> 01:05:05,364 What the fuck? 1197 01:05:05,497 --> 01:05:07,465 - He's not out there. - His car's still here. 1198 01:05:07,599 --> 01:05:10,202 - He's not in his room. - I called him. He didn't answer. 1199 01:05:10,336 --> 01:05:12,171 - Where would he be? - Oh, you guys. 1200 01:05:12,305 --> 01:05:13,538 - What? - The commercial. 1201 01:05:13,672 --> 01:05:15,141 His commercial about lady Marines. 1202 01:05:15,274 --> 01:05:17,609 Dude, our own military might attack us over that commercial. 1203 01:05:17,742 --> 01:05:20,246 - We shit all over it. - We were being honest. It sucked. 1204 01:05:20,379 --> 01:05:23,682 - We didn't have to be that honest. - You know how sensitive he is. 1205 01:05:23,815 --> 01:05:25,418 Fuck! He probably wandered off somewhere. 1206 01:05:25,583 --> 01:05:28,553 - We got to go looking for him. - Somebody's got to watch Shelly. 1207 01:05:28,687 --> 01:05:29,955 The doctor should. 1208 01:05:30,089 --> 01:05:30,922 I want Bender to stay. 1209 01:05:31,057 --> 01:05:32,425 - You hear that? - What'd you say? 1210 01:05:32,557 --> 01:05:34,160 He picked Bender. 1211 01:05:34,293 --> 01:05:36,728 - He said "Doctor." - He said "Bender." I heard him. 1212 01:05:36,861 --> 01:05:38,863 - Bender, you stay here. Stay with him. - Are you kidding me? 1213 01:05:38,997 --> 01:05:40,899 Grab the torches, boys. Let's go find him. 1214 01:05:41,033 --> 01:05:43,802 What if he wakes up? Do I have to talk to him? 1215 01:05:46,372 --> 01:05:47,806 Stay back! 1216 01:05:52,078 --> 01:05:53,578 Leave me alone! 1217 01:05:54,713 --> 01:05:56,681 Oh! Shelter. 1218 01:06:22,574 --> 01:06:24,076 Durfy? 1219 01:06:25,643 --> 01:06:28,147 - Durf! - Durf and Turf? 1220 01:06:28,980 --> 01:06:31,716 What is that? What is that? 1221 01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:37,756 How's it getting in the door? 1222 01:06:40,393 --> 01:06:43,028 What? 1223 01:06:50,602 --> 01:06:53,272 Where are you? 1224 01:06:56,409 --> 01:06:58,277 You hear that? 1225 01:06:58,411 --> 01:06:59,944 Oh, my God. 1226 01:07:00,678 --> 01:07:02,481 - That way. - Let's go get our boy. 1227 01:07:02,614 --> 01:07:04,183 We're coming, Durf! 1228 01:07:29,041 --> 01:07:30,775 What? 1229 01:07:31,709 --> 01:07:33,778 That's weird. 1230 01:07:45,857 --> 01:07:48,194 Don't make me do this. 1231 01:07:48,327 --> 01:07:49,661 Please! 1232 01:07:49,794 --> 01:07:52,764 Okay, I'm going to let you go. 1233 01:07:52,897 --> 01:07:55,034 Stop fighting, okay? 1234 01:07:55,167 --> 01:07:56,502 Stay down. 1235 01:07:59,105 --> 01:08:01,140 Whore! Okay! 1236 01:08:04,110 --> 01:08:06,512 - Die you little... - That's a tiny thing! 1237 01:08:06,644 --> 01:08:09,281 Durfy... Knock it off, man! 1238 01:08:09,415 --> 01:08:11,150 Stop, man, stop! 1239 01:08:11,983 --> 01:08:14,353 Did he kill it? 1240 01:08:15,521 --> 01:08:16,888 Oh, my God! 1241 01:08:17,021 --> 01:08:19,592 You guys, that thing was trying to kill me. 1242 01:08:19,724 --> 01:08:21,293 - Oh, my God. - That little thing right there? 1243 01:08:21,427 --> 01:08:23,828 Yeah, it looks cute, but it came in that shed 1244 01:08:23,962 --> 01:08:25,897 and got my ear and my face. 1245 01:08:26,031 --> 01:08:28,633 - Holy mother of God. - You look like shit, man. 1246 01:08:28,766 --> 01:08:30,436 Is that right? I look like shit? 1247 01:08:30,569 --> 01:08:32,871 My commercial sucks. Do you want to say anything else? 1248 01:08:33,004 --> 01:08:35,874 - I was just busting... - No, no, I heard you loud and clear. 1249 01:08:36,007 --> 01:08:37,842 I heard you loud and clear. The commercial sucked. 1250 01:08:37,976 --> 01:08:40,312 - We were just busting your chops. - You know what else? 1251 01:08:40,446 --> 01:08:42,714 I'm not fucking making it in Hollywood, okay? 1252 01:08:42,847 --> 01:08:45,783 Are you happy? I don't have an agent. 1253 01:08:45,917 --> 01:08:48,753 I self-submit to extras casting, okay? 1254 01:08:48,887 --> 01:08:50,822 I sell tape. 1255 01:08:50,955 --> 01:08:53,559 And right before I got here, I shit the bed 1256 01:08:53,691 --> 01:08:56,629 on probably the best opportunity I'm ever gonna have for a CW pilot. 1257 01:08:56,761 --> 01:08:59,898 And it's fucking gone, and that's it, okay? So I fucking suck! 1258 01:09:00,032 --> 01:09:02,334 - You don't suck. - You feel fucking funny now? 1259 01:09:02,468 --> 01:09:04,436 You want to make some fucking jokes about that? 1260 01:09:04,570 --> 01:09:07,506 Durfy, calm down. You're a little fired up right now. 1261 01:09:07,640 --> 01:09:10,543 No, no, no. Don't calm down. Let him get it out. 1262 01:09:10,675 --> 01:09:15,247 What is this, Durf, huh? What is this, your fucking goodbye speech? Huh? 1263 01:09:15,381 --> 01:09:17,982 We throw a little tough love your way, and you throw in the towel? 1264 01:09:18,117 --> 01:09:20,952 You want to be an actor or not? Start filming this. 1265 01:09:21,086 --> 01:09:24,190 You want to fucking be an actor on a CW pilot, Durfy? 1266 01:09:24,323 --> 01:09:27,159 - Use it! Use it! - Show me! Show me! 1267 01:09:27,293 --> 01:09:29,328 You guys, I just got attacked by a fucking mink. 1268 01:09:29,461 --> 01:09:32,131 I'm not auditioning in the woods, okay? 1269 01:09:34,466 --> 01:09:36,602 - I'm not gonna do this! - Do it right now! 1270 01:09:36,734 --> 01:09:40,172 You guys knew what I was the whole time, and you didn't tell me? 1271 01:09:42,074 --> 01:09:43,942 I thought I had cancer, damn it. 1272 01:09:44,076 --> 01:09:46,679 Okay, so I'm a mutant? 1273 01:09:46,811 --> 01:09:49,048 So I'm gonna dedicate the rest of my life... 1274 01:09:50,082 --> 01:09:52,418 to putting those who would do ill to others 1275 01:09:52,551 --> 01:09:54,819 straight in the fucking ground. 1276 01:09:54,953 --> 01:09:57,855 And I don't care if I have to die doing it. 1277 01:09:59,791 --> 01:10:02,661 John Durfy Jr, Mutant Institute. 1278 01:10:02,794 --> 01:10:04,929 Yeah! 1279 01:10:05,064 --> 01:10:07,166 You guys, that last part was improv. 1280 01:10:07,299 --> 01:10:09,301 Yeah, Durfy! Yeah! 1281 01:10:09,435 --> 01:10:12,770 That's not even in the script. It's not even in the script. 1282 01:10:27,885 --> 01:10:29,355 Hi, Dixon. 1283 01:10:32,258 --> 01:10:33,525 Hey, Shelly. 1284 01:10:34,660 --> 01:10:38,130 Have an extra bowl of Cuckoo Puffs this morning? 1285 01:10:38,264 --> 01:10:41,400 When are you gonna learn to shut the fuck up, Bender? 1286 01:10:41,533 --> 01:10:43,502 Why am I here? 1287 01:10:43,636 --> 01:10:46,171 That is a really good question. What are you doing here? 1288 01:10:46,305 --> 01:10:49,275 You're not supposed to be here. I was very clear about that. 1289 01:10:49,408 --> 01:10:51,577 I have every right to be here. I'm one of your oldest friends, 1290 01:10:51,710 --> 01:10:54,812 and I'm here to preserve the sanctity of our friendship 1291 01:10:54,946 --> 01:10:56,948 and to beat your ass in the Buddy Games. 1292 01:10:57,082 --> 01:10:59,585 I'm gonna wipe your ass out there today. 1293 01:10:59,718 --> 01:11:01,420 You're gonna wipe my ass? 1294 01:11:01,553 --> 01:11:02,920 Yeah, with your face. 1295 01:11:03,055 --> 01:11:05,190 You're gonna wipe my ass with my face. 1296 01:11:05,324 --> 01:11:06,891 Got it, bud. 1297 01:11:07,025 --> 01:11:09,762 And I'm sure that Bob will make that happen. 1298 01:11:09,894 --> 01:11:12,298 - What's that supposed to mean? - You don't think this is all rigged for you? 1299 01:11:12,431 --> 01:11:16,535 Like you didn't know that? Look, you made your point. Just let me out. 1300 01:11:19,937 --> 01:11:21,407 What the fuck are you doing? 1301 01:11:21,540 --> 01:11:23,242 You know what your problem is, Bender? 1302 01:11:24,809 --> 01:11:27,879 You don't know when to shut the fuck up! 1303 01:11:28,012 --> 01:11:30,815 No! You crazy fuck! 1304 01:11:30,948 --> 01:11:33,218 - No! All right, no! - Yeah! 1305 01:11:33,352 --> 01:11:35,621 I won't say anything else. I'll stop talking. 1306 01:11:36,555 --> 01:11:38,923 Oh, I really want to believe you when you say 1307 01:11:39,058 --> 01:11:43,295 that the sanctity of our lifelong friendship means something to you, 1308 01:11:43,429 --> 01:11:44,563 but... 1309 01:11:45,863 --> 01:11:47,232 I don't. 1310 01:11:49,768 --> 01:11:51,836 Is that supposed to scare me? 1311 01:11:51,969 --> 01:11:53,539 When's the last time you've driven a car? 1312 01:11:53,672 --> 01:11:55,140 Your mom dropped you off here. 1313 01:11:55,274 --> 01:11:56,508 Don't you talk about my mama. 1314 01:11:56,642 --> 01:11:58,876 Then get your fat ass out of my mom's van! 1315 01:11:59,010 --> 01:12:00,279 You say you're sorry. 1316 01:12:00,412 --> 01:12:01,380 Sorry for what? 1317 01:12:01,513 --> 01:12:02,481 For ruining my life. 1318 01:12:02,614 --> 01:12:04,049 I didn't ruin your life! 1319 01:12:04,183 --> 01:12:05,617 You fucking say it! 1320 01:12:05,751 --> 01:12:07,119 Fuck you! 1321 01:12:09,854 --> 01:12:12,191 No! No! Wait, wait, wait! 1322 01:12:12,324 --> 01:12:14,626 I didn't shoot you! I didn't shoot you! 1323 01:12:14,760 --> 01:12:16,128 I didn't do... 1324 01:12:18,797 --> 01:12:20,432 No! 1325 01:12:28,474 --> 01:12:29,775 What did you say? 1326 01:12:29,907 --> 01:12:31,310 I said you're a piece of shit! 1327 01:12:31,443 --> 01:12:33,645 No, that's not what you said. You said you didn't do it. 1328 01:12:33,779 --> 01:12:37,349 Of course I didn't do it, man. I'm not an animal. 1329 01:12:37,483 --> 01:12:40,918 I wouldn't shoot a man in the balls, let alone my friend. 1330 01:12:41,053 --> 01:12:43,722 I love balls. I have two of them. 1331 01:12:43,856 --> 01:12:48,527 Okay. You didn't do it? Who did? 1332 01:12:50,596 --> 01:12:52,030 Nikki. 1333 01:12:52,564 --> 01:12:54,133 Bullshit. 1334 01:12:58,570 --> 01:13:00,172 What the fuck are you talking about? 1335 01:13:00,938 --> 01:13:03,075 Why don't you teach him a lesson. 1336 01:13:03,208 --> 01:13:05,177 From us. Come on. It'll be fun. 1337 01:13:05,310 --> 01:13:08,680 - Rest it. Let it sit there. - Right on the nose. 1338 01:13:10,716 --> 01:13:12,050 What if I did it right there? 1339 01:13:12,184 --> 01:13:13,485 - Shoot him. - Ooh. 1340 01:13:13,619 --> 01:13:15,888 But I couldn't do it. 1341 01:13:16,855 --> 01:13:19,658 So she took the gun from me and pulled the trigger. 1342 01:13:28,167 --> 01:13:30,803 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What did you do? 1343 01:13:30,935 --> 01:13:33,138 Then why wouldn't you say something, huh? 1344 01:13:33,272 --> 01:13:35,307 Why would you protect her? 1345 01:13:35,441 --> 01:13:38,610 - I was protecting you. - Protecting me? 1346 01:13:38,744 --> 01:13:42,013 - Your marriage. - If you wanted to protect me, you could've stopped her. 1347 01:13:42,147 --> 01:13:45,250 Do you think I knew that she was gonna shoot you in the scrotum? 1348 01:13:45,384 --> 01:13:48,986 All right, I could've taken the gun away, but I didn't. 1349 01:13:49,121 --> 01:13:51,123 Can somebody get me out of this fucking thing, man? 1350 01:13:51,256 --> 01:13:53,392 I got it. I got it. 1351 01:13:54,660 --> 01:13:58,897 Do you want to know why I didn't? 1352 01:13:59,031 --> 01:14:01,533 Maybe it's because you were being 1353 01:14:01,667 --> 01:14:04,570 - a drunk, obnoxious asshole. - This fucking guy. 1354 01:14:04,703 --> 01:14:07,739 Or maybe I did it because you put your balls on our foreheads 1355 01:14:07,873 --> 01:14:09,741 for years and just laughed it up. 1356 01:14:09,875 --> 01:14:12,578 Or maybe I liked 1357 01:14:12,711 --> 01:14:14,413 that you thought it was me all these years. 1358 01:14:14,546 --> 01:14:17,149 Because whether or not I pulled the trigger, 1359 01:14:17,282 --> 01:14:20,052 - you got what you deserved, bud. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay. 1360 01:14:20,185 --> 01:14:23,355 - He doesn't mean that. Bender, you don't mean that. - Nobody deserves... 1361 01:14:23,489 --> 01:14:25,524 Guys, I got to come clean. In '95, 1362 01:14:25,657 --> 01:14:29,127 when I won the cup, I was juicing. 1363 01:14:29,261 --> 01:14:32,764 I got to get it off my chest. I don't want you to scratch my name off the cup though. 1364 01:14:32,898 --> 01:14:36,702 Nobody's gonna scratch anything off anything. Shell Bell, 1365 01:14:36,835 --> 01:14:40,339 I think it's pretty clear that Bender feels terribly. 1366 01:14:40,472 --> 01:14:43,007 I mean, he gifted you his own personal spank bank. 1367 01:14:43,141 --> 01:14:44,576 That's a gesture. 1368 01:14:44,710 --> 01:14:46,712 - Am I right? That was a real gesture. - Yeah. 1369 01:14:46,845 --> 01:14:48,847 - You're right. - Yeah, which I want back. 1370 01:14:48,981 --> 01:14:50,616 You're unfit to raise my children. 1371 01:14:50,749 --> 01:14:53,151 - That's not gonna happen? - What do you mean? 1372 01:14:53,285 --> 01:14:55,587 Can't do it. I already re-gifted it. 1373 01:14:55,721 --> 01:14:57,021 - To who? - What? 1374 01:14:57,155 --> 01:14:58,557 You like those piña coladas? 1375 01:14:58,690 --> 01:15:00,726 Mmm. Little bit of Bender in there? 1376 01:15:01,426 --> 01:15:02,995 Oh, no. 1377 01:15:03,128 --> 01:15:05,097 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. 1378 01:15:05,230 --> 01:15:07,366 You're joking? That's a joke? 1379 01:15:07,499 --> 01:15:09,334 Oh, my... Oh, my God. 1380 01:15:09,468 --> 01:15:12,704 - No. - I knew I tasted jizz! 1381 01:15:12,838 --> 01:15:15,507 Bob, get him back in the loony bin right now. 1382 01:15:15,641 --> 01:15:17,643 Call his mom and have her pick him up. 1383 01:15:17,776 --> 01:15:19,978 - That is grounds for disqualification. - I'm calling the cops. 1384 01:15:20,112 --> 01:15:24,249 What are you going to tell the cops? "Hey, Officer, I drank my own jizz"? 1385 01:15:24,383 --> 01:15:26,151 Hold up. Hold up. 1386 01:15:27,452 --> 01:15:29,721 Why are we surprised by this? 1387 01:15:29,855 --> 01:15:32,691 This is the kind of stupid shit that happens every time we get together. 1388 01:15:32,824 --> 01:15:36,328 I mean, I never thought I was gonna forgive you guys for this. 1389 01:15:37,629 --> 01:15:40,033 - I was so pissed at you guys. - Still a great piece. 1390 01:15:40,165 --> 01:15:42,167 You remember that one? That was you guys. 1391 01:15:42,301 --> 01:15:45,170 Sons of bitches! And this? Fucking... 1392 01:15:45,304 --> 01:15:47,906 - Zac Efron. - That was your idea. 1393 01:15:48,041 --> 01:15:49,107 You did that on your own, bro. 1394 01:15:49,241 --> 01:15:50,175 Your choice. 1395 01:15:50,309 --> 01:15:51,376 You wanted that. 1396 01:15:51,510 --> 01:15:53,845 - You all gave me the... - No. No. 1397 01:15:53,979 --> 01:15:56,248 Look, the point is that every time we get together, 1398 01:15:56,381 --> 01:15:58,051 we do something that we regret in the moment, 1399 01:15:58,183 --> 01:16:00,419 but then we laugh about it later, right? 1400 01:16:00,552 --> 01:16:03,689 That's why we keep coming back. These are the games we play. 1401 01:16:03,822 --> 01:16:07,192 These are the memories that we live for. And, yeah, we drank a little jizz... 1402 01:16:07,326 --> 01:16:08,760 We drank a lot of jizz. 1403 01:16:08,894 --> 01:16:10,262 We drank a lot of jizz. 1404 01:16:10,395 --> 01:16:11,830 I had a second piña colada. 1405 01:16:11,964 --> 01:16:15,068 And Shelly totaled Bender's van, but you know what? 1406 01:16:15,200 --> 01:16:16,969 This too shall pass. We will live on, 1407 01:16:17,102 --> 01:16:19,605 and this brotherhood will never die. 1408 01:16:21,206 --> 01:16:24,209 And I fucking love it! I love all of it. 1409 01:16:24,343 --> 01:16:26,178 And I've missed every one of you assholes. 1410 01:16:26,311 --> 01:16:28,614 And I wouldn't trade this shit for anything, so... 1411 01:16:28,747 --> 01:16:30,749 I suggest that each one of you look in the mirror 1412 01:16:30,882 --> 01:16:33,018 and think about what this brotherhood means to you. 1413 01:16:33,185 --> 01:16:35,020 Especially you, Durfy. 1414 01:16:35,153 --> 01:16:37,422 Your ear, it's, like, hanging... 1415 01:16:37,556 --> 01:16:39,625 Is it injured? 'Cause it doesn't feel good. 1416 01:16:39,758 --> 01:16:42,628 - You might want peroxide... - You think that's gonna read on camera? 1417 01:16:42,761 --> 01:16:45,330 - Not if the camera's pointed at someone else. - Thanks for inviting me. 1418 01:16:45,464 --> 01:16:47,199 - You're a good person. - Yeah, yeah, you too. 1419 01:16:47,332 --> 01:16:50,535 Thanks for letting me play, and thanks for the piña coladas and my ear. 1420 01:16:50,669 --> 01:16:51,903 It's just been really great. 1421 01:16:52,038 --> 01:16:53,338 All right. 1422 01:16:53,472 --> 01:16:55,974 The rest of you get a little sleep, 1423 01:16:56,109 --> 01:16:57,876 because come sundown, it's game on. 1424 01:17:00,512 --> 01:17:03,315 - Not so much you two. - Nope, we are sleeping in. 1425 01:17:03,448 --> 01:17:05,884 Didn't make the cut. 1426 01:17:06,018 --> 01:17:07,619 Shelly, you went too far. 1427 01:17:07,753 --> 01:17:10,322 - Oh, I'm gonna throw up. - Yeah, Shelly. 1428 01:17:10,455 --> 01:17:12,524 Well played. 1429 01:17:34,446 --> 01:17:35,947 So here we are, boys. 1430 01:17:37,549 --> 01:17:39,184 The endgame. It's simple. 1431 01:17:39,317 --> 01:17:41,120 First one to lay their hands 1432 01:17:41,253 --> 01:17:43,655 on that buddy bucket at the end of this field 1433 01:17:43,789 --> 01:17:45,257 wins all the cash. 1434 01:17:45,390 --> 01:17:47,160 What's with the suit? 1435 01:17:47,292 --> 01:17:48,827 Oh, this old thing? 1436 01:17:48,960 --> 01:17:53,198 It's a one-inch-thick superpolyamide body armor suit. 1437 01:17:53,331 --> 01:17:54,800 Why? What the fuck are we doing now? 1438 01:17:54,933 --> 01:17:57,369 Well, this little baby can absorb a bullet 1439 01:17:57,502 --> 01:17:59,371 - from ten feet away. - What? 1440 01:17:59,504 --> 01:18:01,306 All we're gonna be using are simple bows and arrows. 1441 01:18:01,440 --> 01:18:02,908 Give it a try. 1442 01:18:04,409 --> 01:18:06,778 - You want me to shoot you with an arrow? - Yeah. 1443 01:18:06,912 --> 01:18:08,447 Okay. 1444 01:18:08,880 --> 01:18:10,348 There you go. 1445 01:18:12,951 --> 01:18:14,386 I like this already. 1446 01:18:18,824 --> 01:18:20,492 Oh, no! 1447 01:18:21,127 --> 01:18:22,828 - Bob! - What the fuck? 1448 01:18:22,961 --> 01:18:23,895 Holy shit! 1449 01:18:24,029 --> 01:18:24,996 Oh, my God. 1450 01:18:25,131 --> 01:18:27,100 Bob! Oh, my... 1451 01:18:27,232 --> 01:18:29,102 Oh! Help! 1452 01:18:33,905 --> 01:18:35,907 You should see the looks on your faces! 1453 01:18:36,042 --> 01:18:39,511 - I'm just kidding. - Oh, my... Dude, what the fuck, man? 1454 01:18:39,644 --> 01:18:41,880 That's the game. That's the game. 1455 01:18:42,013 --> 01:18:45,051 You got six arrows right over here. Use them wisely, 1456 01:18:45,184 --> 01:18:47,853 because if you get stuck with an arrow, you're out. 1457 01:18:47,986 --> 01:18:50,189 Ten minutes, shotgun start, so suit up, boys. 1458 01:18:50,322 --> 01:18:51,723 Whoo! 1459 01:18:52,390 --> 01:18:54,526 Ow. Bob, you're... 1460 01:18:54,659 --> 01:18:57,395 Bob's not well mentally, I don't... 1461 01:19:03,735 --> 01:19:05,570 I don't know who to root for. 1462 01:19:05,704 --> 01:19:07,305 - I hate them all. - Yeah, it's tough. 1463 01:19:07,439 --> 01:19:09,674 - I'm going Bender. - You're gonna go Bender? 1464 01:19:09,808 --> 01:19:12,344 - Bender. - He lost his mom. He lives in a van. 1465 01:19:12,477 --> 01:19:15,248 He's had hemorrhoids since we were, what, six? 1466 01:19:15,380 --> 01:19:18,950 How many fucking six-year-olds do you know that have hemorrhoids? 1467 01:19:20,619 --> 01:19:24,389 Hey, everybody. Welcome back. 1468 01:19:26,858 --> 01:19:28,927 You know what's fucking crazy? 1469 01:19:29,061 --> 01:19:30,629 Like, seriously? 1470 01:19:30,762 --> 01:19:33,199 How slimming black really is. 1471 01:19:33,331 --> 01:19:34,866 One little announcement. 1472 01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:37,036 That field is live. Real arrows will be flying. 1473 01:19:37,170 --> 01:19:39,504 So, please, if you could stay behind these flags 1474 01:19:39,638 --> 01:19:41,706 until you can see that champion bucket is raised. 1475 01:19:41,840 --> 01:19:44,210 - Smell weird to you? - Oh, fuck, man! 1476 01:19:44,342 --> 01:19:47,246 Oh, let me get a shot really quick. You got any schnapps? 1477 01:19:47,379 --> 01:19:50,448 Why do you have a nut cup? Aren't those supposed to protect testicles? 1478 01:19:50,582 --> 01:19:54,053 Aren't minivans meant for mothers? Oh, that's right. You don't have a minivan. 1479 01:19:54,187 --> 01:19:56,922 Yeah, thanks. I don't have a mother either. You're about to lose. 1480 01:19:57,056 --> 01:19:59,024 You're about to burp up your own cum bubbles. 1481 01:19:59,158 --> 01:20:00,492 You're gonna fucking lose, man. 1482 01:20:00,625 --> 01:20:02,961 This is your day... 1483 01:20:07,465 --> 01:20:09,367 Bye, suckers! 1484 01:20:21,613 --> 01:20:25,117 Let's go, babe! Come on. You got this. Let's go! 1485 01:20:42,235 --> 01:20:44,270 Okay, babe, you got this! 1486 01:20:44,402 --> 01:20:45,871 Let's go, baby! 1487 01:20:48,274 --> 01:20:51,244 Ah! 1488 01:20:53,312 --> 01:20:54,746 Oh, my God. 1489 01:20:54,880 --> 01:20:56,648 Suck on that, Richie Rich! 1490 01:20:56,781 --> 01:20:59,885 Bob! 1491 01:21:01,686 --> 01:21:03,155 Bob! Bob! No, wait... 1492 01:21:04,290 --> 01:21:06,391 Shit just got real. 1493 01:21:17,636 --> 01:21:19,871 Okay. Shelly's sucking wind right now. 1494 01:21:20,005 --> 01:21:22,241 He's not gonna be able to shoot for shit. 1495 01:21:22,375 --> 01:21:24,310 It's now or never. 1496 01:21:24,442 --> 01:21:26,011 Let's go, Bender. 1497 01:21:26,978 --> 01:21:29,981 We already know how this will end, Bender! 1498 01:21:30,116 --> 01:21:32,784 I own you! I always have! 1499 01:21:34,719 --> 01:21:36,922 You always said, "There's next year," Shelly. 1500 01:21:37,056 --> 01:21:40,192 Well, guess what? It is next year! 1501 01:21:40,326 --> 01:21:45,664 I guess it boils down to who's got the bigger balls. 1502 01:21:45,797 --> 01:21:48,167 Well, that'd definitely be you, pal. 1503 01:21:48,301 --> 01:21:50,969 No, no, no. Ladies first. 1504 01:21:53,272 --> 01:21:55,308 Aaah! Fuck you! 1505 01:22:03,581 --> 01:22:05,717 Ooh, look at that fat back. 1506 01:22:05,850 --> 01:22:08,553 Here we go, baby. 1507 01:22:11,157 --> 01:22:13,792 - Damn it! - Crap! 1508 01:22:13,925 --> 01:22:16,962 Yeah, let's dance, baby. 1509 01:22:18,863 --> 01:22:20,266 It's over. It's over. 1510 01:22:20,399 --> 01:22:23,169 Fuck you, Bender. Fuck you. 1511 01:22:25,104 --> 01:22:27,772 Sorry about all that stuff I said about you earlier, buddy. 1512 01:22:29,208 --> 01:22:30,542 No, you're not, Sheldon. 1513 01:22:33,578 --> 01:22:34,946 Just end it. 1514 01:22:36,382 --> 01:22:39,051 Don't shoot me in the balls either. That'd be super predictable and lame. 1515 01:22:39,185 --> 01:22:42,654 Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. 1516 01:22:46,225 --> 01:22:49,527 - You fucking caught that? - You were gonna shoot me in the face? 1517 01:22:58,570 --> 01:23:00,772 Get off me! Get off me! 1518 01:23:00,905 --> 01:23:03,842 You son of a bitch! 1519 01:23:09,614 --> 01:23:13,119 Not this year! 1520 01:23:18,157 --> 01:23:20,992 No! No! 1521 01:23:21,127 --> 01:23:24,029 Never fuck with a man's minivan. 1522 01:23:33,605 --> 01:23:35,241 I got it. I got it. 1523 01:23:47,886 --> 01:23:50,789 Yeah! 1524 01:23:54,826 --> 01:23:58,029 Yeah! I fucking did it! 1525 01:23:58,164 --> 01:24:01,033 You okay, buddy? No shame. You did good. 1526 01:24:01,167 --> 01:24:03,069 - You did really good. - How many fingers is this? 1527 01:24:03,202 --> 01:24:05,937 Just not as good as that motherfucker right there! 1528 01:24:06,072 --> 01:24:08,140 You just kicked him in the head, Doc! 1529 01:24:08,274 --> 01:24:10,076 Bobby, are you okay? 1530 01:24:10,209 --> 01:24:12,977 - Oh, my goodness, look at that. - Bob! 1531 01:24:13,112 --> 01:24:14,547 Oh, my God! 1532 01:24:14,679 --> 01:24:16,449 - Oh, my God! - Oh, you came. 1533 01:24:16,581 --> 01:24:18,983 - We've got to get you to the hospital. - No, no, I'm fine. 1534 01:24:19,118 --> 01:24:22,121 I really am. I'm fine. Well, not great. 1535 01:24:22,254 --> 01:24:24,022 Oh, my God! 1536 01:24:24,156 --> 01:24:27,059 Oh, I know what you're gonna say, that this whole thing was a mistake. 1537 01:24:27,193 --> 01:24:29,228 No, I wasn't gonna say that at all. 1538 01:24:30,429 --> 01:24:31,696 Bobby, you needed this. 1539 01:24:31,830 --> 01:24:33,032 - Really? - Yeah. 1540 01:24:33,165 --> 01:24:34,899 Now that it's out of your system, 1541 01:24:35,034 --> 01:24:36,734 - we can just go back to our life, you know? - Yeah. 1542 01:24:36,868 --> 01:24:38,803 God, I love you. 1543 01:24:39,572 --> 01:24:41,873 - I love you so much. - I love you too. 1544 01:24:42,006 --> 01:24:45,743 I was doing a lot of thinking on my trip, and, um... 1545 01:24:46,512 --> 01:24:49,115 I think it's time, Bob. 1546 01:24:49,248 --> 01:24:50,382 Yeah. 1547 01:24:51,484 --> 01:24:54,153 - All right, come on. Let's do this. - I... I can't. 1548 01:24:54,286 --> 01:24:56,621 Oh, God, because your... your hand. 1549 01:24:56,754 --> 01:24:58,457 - Let me help you. - Whoa! 1550 01:24:58,591 --> 01:25:00,825 Whoa! Yeah! 1551 01:25:00,959 --> 01:25:03,761 It is huge! How much was it? 1552 01:25:03,895 --> 01:25:06,065 I don't know. 1553 01:25:06,198 --> 01:25:08,033 I don't know! 1554 01:25:10,603 --> 01:25:12,338 Okay, everybody's watching, Bob. 1555 01:25:13,139 --> 01:25:14,839 Look, baby, I know that you're scared. 1556 01:25:14,973 --> 01:25:17,376 That's okay, and I get it, but you don't need to be. 1557 01:25:17,510 --> 01:25:19,411 These last few weeks, yeah, they have been weird, 1558 01:25:19,545 --> 01:25:21,614 but we can just go back to the way things used to be. 1559 01:25:21,746 --> 01:25:23,282 Just you and me... 1560 01:25:23,748 --> 01:25:25,717 forever. 1561 01:25:27,119 --> 01:25:28,887 - I love you. - Oh, my God. I love you too. 1562 01:25:29,020 --> 01:25:31,723 - I love you so much. - I love you so much. 1563 01:25:34,493 --> 01:25:36,262 I'm not this guy. 1564 01:25:37,962 --> 01:25:39,998 I'm not the guy you deserve. 1565 01:25:40,566 --> 01:25:42,201 I'm this fucking guy. 1566 01:25:42,734 --> 01:25:44,203 What? 1567 01:25:44,336 --> 01:25:47,672 My mom wants me to be Bob, the soon-to-be father, but... 1568 01:25:47,805 --> 01:25:49,941 I'm just the Bobfather, you know? 1569 01:25:50,075 --> 01:25:53,112 - Are you fucking kidding me? - Look, I know this sounds crazy. 1570 01:25:53,245 --> 01:25:56,315 I've never felt more purpose than I have these last few weeks. 1571 01:25:57,249 --> 01:26:00,252 These guys need me, and I need them, 1572 01:26:00,386 --> 01:26:02,954 and this is gonna keep happening every year for the rest of my life. 1573 01:26:03,088 --> 01:26:06,024 And you're just gonna end up hating them and resenting me. 1574 01:26:06,158 --> 01:26:07,892 And who knows? Maybe you'll end up shooting me in the balls 1575 01:26:08,026 --> 01:26:09,894 and taking all my money like Shel... 1576 01:26:10,762 --> 01:26:13,032 - Oh! - Bobby! 1577 01:26:15,767 --> 01:26:17,503 You know, I really respect your choice... 1578 01:26:17,636 --> 01:26:19,071 and your honesty. 1579 01:26:19,205 --> 01:26:21,040 I just wish you would've told me five fucking years ago 1580 01:26:21,173 --> 01:26:22,541 that you would've chosen your friend's balls 1581 01:26:22,675 --> 01:26:24,276 and their farts over me. 1582 01:26:26,345 --> 01:26:28,380 - Where's the gravity? I... - Oh, my God. 1583 01:26:28,514 --> 01:26:31,584 Okay, okay, okay, that's enough. You got it out of your system. 1584 01:26:31,716 --> 01:26:33,319 Farewell, Bobfather. 1585 01:26:33,452 --> 01:26:37,489 Now, nobody does that to my buddy Bob. 1586 01:26:37,623 --> 01:26:39,358 - Ooh! - Doc! 1587 01:26:39,491 --> 01:26:41,260 You are done, Tiff! 1588 01:26:43,562 --> 01:26:46,065 Mama, start the car. Start the car, Mama! 1589 01:26:46,198 --> 01:26:47,366 Later, Tiff. 1590 01:27:00,646 --> 01:27:02,814 Well, things didn't go exactly as planned, 1591 01:27:02,947 --> 01:27:05,917 but then again, the games never do. 1592 01:27:06,051 --> 01:27:09,088 Look, you don't stop playing because you get older, 1593 01:27:09,221 --> 01:27:11,923 you get older when you stop playing. 1594 01:27:12,057 --> 01:27:14,693 Now the boys are back, 1595 01:27:14,826 --> 01:27:16,894 and somehow everything seems right again. 1596 01:27:17,028 --> 01:27:20,832 In fact, things might even be a little better. 1597 01:27:44,089 --> 01:27:46,824 Shelly may not have reclaimed his throne, 1598 01:27:46,958 --> 01:27:49,161 but he's back. 1599 01:27:49,295 --> 01:27:51,563 Exactly where he belongs. 1600 01:27:53,332 --> 01:27:55,100 Still the king. 1601 01:27:58,637 --> 01:28:02,174 Turns out Durfy may not be such a shitty actor after all. 1602 01:28:02,940 --> 01:28:05,311 He just needed a little nudge. 1603 01:28:07,413 --> 01:28:11,417 "You have officially been offered the role of Frankie in..." 1604 01:28:13,485 --> 01:28:15,254 Oh, my God! 1605 01:28:16,755 --> 01:28:18,223 Yes! 1606 01:28:19,124 --> 01:28:21,393 And then there's Bender. 1607 01:28:21,527 --> 01:28:23,329 - Look at him. - Call Sheldon again. 1608 01:28:23,462 --> 01:28:26,465 - That's the face of a champion. - Calling Sheldon. 1609 01:28:32,538 --> 01:28:34,173 Nope. 1610 01:28:34,972 --> 01:28:37,443 - Call declined. - Come on, man! 1611 01:28:38,610 --> 01:28:41,347 - Call Sheldon again. Call him again! - Please watch your tone. 1612 01:28:41,480 --> 01:28:43,315 As for Doc, well, 1613 01:28:43,449 --> 01:28:45,651 he was finally able to provide some relief. 1614 01:28:47,985 --> 01:28:50,422 It's time I got something off my chest. 1615 01:28:50,556 --> 01:28:52,524 So here goes. 1616 01:28:52,658 --> 01:28:54,760 - I'm, uh... - I know. 1617 01:28:54,892 --> 01:28:56,861 - What do you mean, you know? - I know. 1618 01:28:56,994 --> 01:28:59,498 - How long have you known? - Remember back in '96, 1619 01:28:59,631 --> 01:29:02,668 when you bought that Cavalier King Charles spaniel, 1620 01:29:02,801 --> 01:29:05,804 and you named it after Brad Pitt's character in Legends of the Fall? 1621 01:29:05,937 --> 01:29:08,040 - Oh, Tristan. - Way before that. 1622 01:29:08,173 --> 01:29:09,575 All right, one more. 1623 01:29:09,708 --> 01:29:10,642 I'm gay! 1624 01:29:10,776 --> 01:29:11,909 All right, you're all done. 1625 01:29:12,044 --> 01:29:14,146 Oh, that felt amazing! 1626 01:29:14,279 --> 01:29:17,349 So if I'm not happy with the results, I get a full refund, right? 1627 01:29:17,483 --> 01:29:19,016 'Cause I burn through workout equipment 1628 01:29:19,151 --> 01:29:21,620 like Gene Simmons does through pussy. 1629 01:29:21,754 --> 01:29:23,155 From Kiss. 1630 01:29:23,288 --> 01:29:26,958 I mean, fitness is my middle name. 1631 01:29:27,092 --> 01:29:28,660 And I'm just afraid... You know, like, 1632 01:29:28,794 --> 01:29:31,630 I've broken things before, 'cause I'm so strong, and I'm... 1633 01:29:31,764 --> 01:29:34,999 - Shelly, just hear me out. - What are you doing here, dude? 1634 01:29:35,134 --> 01:29:37,236 I'm in trouble, and it's bad. 1635 01:29:37,369 --> 01:29:39,405 - I need a place to hide out. - No, man! 1636 01:29:39,538 --> 01:29:41,874 Oh, my God, I'm in deep shit, man! 1637 01:29:42,006 --> 01:29:45,144 Get the fuck out of my house, dude. What are you doing here? 1638 01:29:45,277 --> 01:29:49,047 - Bender! - No! No! Aaah! 1639 01:29:52,785 --> 01:29:54,653 You're mine, bitch. 1640 01:29:58,891 --> 01:30:02,026 You shot my best friend, you son of a bitch! You're fucking dead! 1641 01:30:02,161 --> 01:30:04,028 You hear me? You're fucking dead! 1642 01:30:04,163 --> 01:30:06,532 Yeah, that's right, you fucking pussy. 1643 01:30:06,665 --> 01:30:08,066 "Best friend"? 1644 01:30:09,134 --> 01:30:11,069 I'm truly touched by that, man. 1645 01:30:11,203 --> 01:30:14,740 What the... You're alive? 1646 01:30:14,873 --> 01:30:17,309 Ha, ha, ha! I'm alive! 1647 01:30:17,443 --> 01:30:20,978 - It was a joke. I was trying to get you out of the house. - What? 1648 01:30:21,113 --> 01:30:24,216 Yeah, you weren't returning my phone calls, dude. I just want to talk. 1649 01:30:24,349 --> 01:30:26,452 But, he... he shot you. 1650 01:30:26,585 --> 01:30:29,621 Yeah, that's my buddy Thurston. He works for the pawn shop. 1651 01:30:29,755 --> 01:30:32,224 I was buying my mom's shit back, and he got me this movie gun. 1652 01:30:32,357 --> 01:30:34,493 - What movie is it from? - Ride Along 2. 1653 01:30:34,626 --> 01:30:37,796 - Yeah, 50 bucks. Fucking bang, bang, dude. - Hundred bucks. 1654 01:30:37,930 --> 01:30:40,199 - You said 50. - I said a hundred. 1655 01:30:40,332 --> 01:30:43,302 Twenty-five a bullet and 50 for the gun, that's $100. 1656 01:30:43,435 --> 01:30:46,572 You're a fucking liar! 1657 01:30:46,705 --> 01:30:48,407 - I'm not paying for that. - Yes, you are. 1658 01:30:48,540 --> 01:30:50,975 - No, I'm not. No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. Yes, you are. 1659 01:30:51,109 --> 01:30:53,645 What the fuck is going on here? 1660 01:30:54,780 --> 01:30:56,482 Look, man, 1661 01:30:56,615 --> 01:30:58,050 all I cared about 1662 01:30:58,183 --> 01:31:00,619 was you and just making things right again. 1663 01:31:00,752 --> 01:31:03,455 You lost your fucking mind, Bender? Get me out of this goddamn chair. 1664 01:31:03,589 --> 01:31:06,925 Dude, with that money, I could've done anything. 1665 01:31:07,059 --> 01:31:08,827 Got an eight-ball the size of Nebraska, 1666 01:31:08,961 --> 01:31:13,232 fucked my way through whatever rogue country this asshole's from, 1667 01:31:13,365 --> 01:31:14,967 but that's not what was in my heart. 1668 01:31:15,100 --> 01:31:18,604 I felt so bad for you and all the shit you went through, 1669 01:31:18,737 --> 01:31:21,540 and I just wanted to get you back on your feet. 1670 01:31:21,673 --> 01:31:22,741 So... 1671 01:31:22,875 --> 01:31:26,411 here's my plan. Wait for it... 1672 01:31:26,545 --> 01:31:28,680 Boom! 1673 01:31:28,814 --> 01:31:31,149 A scrot-o! 1674 01:31:31,283 --> 01:31:33,752 Fuckin' scrotes! 1675 01:31:33,886 --> 01:31:35,621 I got balls for you! 1676 01:31:35,754 --> 01:31:37,256 Smell it! Smell! 1677 01:31:37,389 --> 01:31:40,759 I got you balls. Fuck you. I got you balls. 1678 01:31:40,893 --> 01:31:43,695 Fuckin' Sack Nicholson over here. 1679 01:31:43,829 --> 01:31:47,766 Piercings. One with a tattoo on it. Look at this guy. 1680 01:31:47,900 --> 01:31:49,768 So many fucking balls, dude. 1681 01:31:49,902 --> 01:31:52,271 And then lo and behold... 1682 01:31:52,404 --> 01:31:56,141 Sheldon, you're back! 1683 01:31:56,275 --> 01:31:58,911 Shel Bell! You look like Elton John. 1684 01:31:59,044 --> 01:32:01,947 You're fucking back! Fuck you! 1685 01:32:02,080 --> 01:32:05,117 Look at that shit. Juicy! 1686 01:32:05,250 --> 01:32:08,654 Long live the king! 1687 01:32:20,299 --> 01:32:22,035 Bob's web of lies 1688 01:32:22,167 --> 01:32:24,236 has finally come home to roost. 1689 01:32:24,369 --> 01:32:26,338 What will happen to poor Bob? 1690 01:32:29,441 --> 01:32:32,244 I'm free. And you're fucked. 1691 01:32:36,148 --> 01:32:37,549 It's not gross, all right? Our buddy just... 1692 01:32:37,683 --> 01:32:40,053 It's a very, very gross present. 1693 01:32:40,185 --> 01:32:42,220 - It's not gross. - Why would you get him that? 1694 01:32:42,354 --> 01:32:44,957 It's not gross. 1695 01:32:45,090 --> 01:32:47,192 I was just a little distracted, um, 1696 01:32:47,326 --> 01:32:50,862 planning my speech for the Oscars. 1697 01:32:53,231 --> 01:32:56,735 What the fuck is that thing? Fucking cat? 1698 01:33:00,039 --> 01:33:03,408 You need the Heimlich, dude? You need the Heimlich? 1699 01:33:10,415 --> 01:33:12,985 This is some jackassery, man. 1700 01:33:13,118 --> 01:33:14,987 Are you fucking kidding me? 1701 01:33:15,153 --> 01:33:17,756 A baby? A baby here? 1702 01:33:17,889 --> 01:33:20,459 - Yeah, just take a look at the tailbone there. - No tailbone. 1703 01:33:20,592 --> 01:33:23,395 - That's where I draw the line. - Come on. 1704 01:33:23,528 --> 01:33:26,932 All right, bend over. 1705 01:33:27,066 --> 01:33:29,301 - Great swimsuit. - Thank you. 1706 01:33:29,434 --> 01:33:31,169 Can you swim or dive? 1707 01:33:31,303 --> 01:33:32,537 Yeah, both. 1708 01:33:32,671 --> 01:33:34,040 Well, you can dive on my dick. 1709 01:33:34,172 --> 01:33:36,141 Okay. Okay. 1710 01:33:36,274 --> 01:33:37,776 - Two more. Two more. - Two more. Two more. 1711 01:33:45,150 --> 01:33:48,620 Filled with jizz! 1712 01:33:52,491 --> 01:33:55,861 Are you just gonna call it? Okay. Foreground, background... 1713 01:34:03,835 --> 01:34:05,537 My dad likes to buy his pie at the store. 1714 01:34:05,671 --> 01:34:07,873 Oh, yeah. Store pie's better. 1715 01:34:08,006 --> 01:34:09,374 Oh, God. 1716 01:34:09,508 --> 01:34:11,077 What's the matter with your woman? 1717 01:34:11,209 --> 01:34:12,911 Is she always like this? 1718 01:34:13,845 --> 01:34:16,181 I think she's been drinking this morning. 1719 01:34:16,314 --> 01:34:18,183 - Really? - Yeah. 1720 01:34:19,918 --> 01:34:22,454 Motherfucker! 1721 01:34:22,587 --> 01:34:24,189 Fuck! 1722 01:34:26,224 --> 01:34:28,061 - I'm so sorry. - On frame, right? 1723 01:34:28,193 --> 01:34:32,264 You became a friar. That's dope, right? That is so rad. 1724 01:34:32,397 --> 01:34:35,901 - Listen to Lance Bass over here. - Oh, shit! 1725 01:34:40,672 --> 01:34:42,240 Oh! 1726 01:34:47,146 --> 01:34:48,246 What? 1727 01:34:48,380 --> 01:34:50,849 Thanks, Prick Moranis. 1728 01:34:53,018 --> 01:34:55,654 Let's play some Buddy Games! 1729 01:34:55,787 --> 01:34:57,956 Let's play some "Bloody" Games! 1730 01:34:58,091 --> 01:34:59,825 No! 1731 01:35:06,732 --> 01:35:09,234 Get it. Get it. Get it. 1732 01:35:15,507 --> 01:35:18,044 The, uh, the parking brake wasn't set, 1733 01:35:18,177 --> 01:35:19,978 so it just started rolling back. 1734 01:36:23,341 --> 01:36:25,877 Let's play some Buddy Games! 1735 01:36:28,314 --> 01:36:33,314 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 131915