All language subtitles for Beats.DERFT

- Are you there, Spanner?
- Aye, mate. Aye.

Do you like it?
Do you fucking like it?

It's bouncing, man.

I spent about two days waiting
for that one to come on the radio

- so I could tape it for you.
- Fucking hell!

Spanner, is that the actual crowd, like?

'Aye, mate, aye!'

You have to turn it up, mate!
Turn it up!

Christ! Can you...

...stop being such a wee weirdo
and get dressed? We're late.

Can you not fucking knock, no?

Oi. This is my house. And Robert's.

Who you speaking to?

Nobody.

Fuck that, man.

Fido! Fuck!

Fido, what the fuck you doing, man?
Fido! Fido!

I want you to promise to make
more of an effort today, son, you hear me?

You just need to try.

Look at the state of you. Come on.

Fido, what the fuck you're doing, man?

Fido, seriously, fuck off!

You fucking fascist!

Sorry.

Fido. Fuck off.

Mate, please... Fuck.

Fido! Mate, open the door.

Aye, it's very fucking funny.
Open the door!

Open the door, man!

Fido!

Fido!

Fido!

Fido!

Fido!

Fido!

Fido, what...

Come back when it's dark.

I've got business to see to.

Gi's a couple of quid and all then?

Fucking arsehole.

Fuck's sake.

Right, team. Good to go?

Here. Get him in.

Christ, you look shattered. You alright?

Aye, just night shifts.
I'm not used to it.

Okay, gang. Let's get cracking.

Whoa! Johnno! Johnno!

Oh, Jesus. What's he after?

Holy shit.

Spanner,
where did you get that mad lump?

Check it! Vroom, vroom!

- Johnno, get in the car.
- Where you off to, like?

Look, mate, I'll see you after, alright?

Johnno, get in!

When are you back?

Aye.

Still sure?

It seems a big step up.

Come on. Let's do the deed.

Come on, Johnno.

'This was the culminating protest
against the Criminal Justice Bill...'

'We must build a nation
with pride in itself, a thriving community...'

'...three times they withstood
human battering rams and shook the very...'

'...the biggest choice of
new homes ever seen in Britain.

'The Barratt Premier Collection

'offers superb styling, special features,
and many extras...'

'The worst violence
was in Park Lane.

'Young people aided,
more police were brought in...'

Deary me.
What's all this?

What's wrong with this here?

I don't know, Colin. You've got me.

A customer in Liverpool

should have the same experience
as a customer in Birmingham,

as a customer in West Lothian.

Recognisable. Repeatable.

Show me you can do it right.

Good.

Now straighten up the rest of this aisle
before you go.

Just 'cause I ken Robert doesn't mean
you can arse about and take the piss.

You just need to tell Colin.

Say it to his face. Be honest.

Say what exactly?

Just tell him.

"Colin, you're a massive bell-end,
and I don't respect your authority."

- I could never do that.
- How?

He's the boss.

Try it.

- What?
- Say it.

"Colin, you're a massive bell-end,
and I don't respect your authority."

Yes.
Feels good, eh?

Aye, but I could never do that.

How?

I'd probably just fuck it up.

Get nervous, say the wrong thing.

"Colin, you're an authoritarian,
and I don't respect your massive bell-end!"

Then I'd just pass out or something.

Don't worry about it, wee man.

You're not gonna have to
work there forever, mate.

I've got it covered.

This summer's gonna go off.

Me and you, right?

You sure we're cool here, aye?

Don't fear, wee man.

- Right. Right.
- Aye. Right.

Sorry.

'The Criminal Justice
and Public Order Bill.

'You heard about this?

'It's gonna make it illegal to have
"gatherings around music..."

'And this is a quote:

"'...wholly or predominantly characterised

"'by the emission of a succession
of repetitive beats."

'And so, to any pigs and suits listening in,

'know this: There are more of us
than you think there are.

'Just you try and stop us all.'

Wendy?

- Yes!
- Spanner!

- Hello, wee man!
- Alright, cuz!

Here, lass,
this is my wee cousin Spanner.

Give us a kiss.
You alright?

Wendy, this is my pal Johnno.

Not seen you for ages, wee man.
How you doing? You alright?

Aye, fine. Cheers.

- 'Yes, yes!
- Shut up.

'To all you new listeners.

'You wayward travellers.
You lost souls. You lonely wanderers.

'If you've come here looking for answers,
you've come to the right place.

'This is your man, the D-Man,
here to serve the people's needs.

'Revolt is the command
on the paper in your hand.

'And so it was written, so let it be done.

'Rave to the Grave,

'the biggest fucking night of your life,
Scotland.

'Revolt!

'Date to be announced here,

'nowhere else but here,
very fucking soon.

Here's "A Homeboy,
A Hippie & A Funki Dredd."'

Yes! Come on!

Fuck's he on about?
Are youse going out?

- Is it a party?
- Not for you, wee man.

Aye, come back to us
when your balls have dropped.

Ha-ha. Come on, tell me.

What, this?

- Yeah. Yeah.
- This?

Come on, give it us.

Yo, Wendy,
what's happening tonight then, cuz?

Nothing, wee man. Just
going to mine, get a Chinese, watch telly.

Can we come with youse?

What is your problem,
you wee creep?

What happened to your face?

Jesus, Johnno, man...

Sorry, I...

5-0!

Scott Smith!

What are you doing here?

- Picnic. What you up to, like?
- Don't get lippy, son.

You got a receipt for that?

PC McDonald,

I want each and every one of their names,
all their details, no exceptions.

- Search them all thoroughly, too.
- Alright, Rob?

Johnno. You shouldn't be
hanging about here, son.

Dunlop, you know this boy?

Aye, he's my, erm...

He's the missus' lad.

- Can I have a minute please, Sergeant?
- Of course.

Come on, you. Cigarette down,
bottle down, empty the pockets out.

Fucking hell, Johnno pal,
what you playing at?

What?

You're not allowed
to be hanging around here.

You have any idea what it looks like

for my boss to see you fraternising
with neds like that?

You don't know him. He's alright.

He's Fido Smith's wee brother,
for Christ's sakes!

- Aye, but he's not a criminal or that.
- Look at him!

Look at his hairdo.

I mean, that's a crime against...

his head.

Help me out here, Johnno.

Look at me. Look at me, pal.

Yes, Robert.

Hey. It's "officer" to you. Right?

- Dunlop, car.
- Sarge.

Boys, beat it.

McDonald, we're gonna take this call
and leave this with you.

Right, lads. You heard him.

Come on, out of here, now! Scatter!

Johnno, mind and get straight home.

See you later, ladies.

I need to get home, like.

'...long-term measures
to break that culture

'of drugs, family instability,
high unemployment, and urban squalor

'in which some of the worst criminals
are brought up.

'Responsibility means a recognition
that there is no divorce from the outside...'

Mm. This is delicious.

'The unemployed youngster
has no right to steal your radio.'

Hold on. I got something.

Oh... Goodness!

Cover your ears.

- Whoa! Hey. Glasses?
- Oh, right, yes, fine.

- Get one for Johnno, too!
- Okay.

Here we go.

One for you.

Okay, so this is just to say a wee toast.

Because I know
I've not been here long,

but I am proud of this family.

And, you see, this move,

it's scary for me, too.

It is.

It's actually quite tough
coming into a family like this.

Now, Johnno,
I don't expect your sympathy with that.

I just want to be straight with you.

I get why this is hard for you.

We all want to stay with what we know.

Stay with the people that we know.

But sometimes...

Sometimes we've all just got to jump.

Catch the way the wind's blowing.

Do you get me?

Alright. There was probably
a less embarrassing way

that I could have said that.

Look, I'm proud.

Of us.

And where we're headed.

Right, so this...
This is to the future, to success,

and to family.

'The next election will offer us
the chance to change our country,

'not just to promise change,
but to achieve it.'

Johnno?

'The historic goal
of another Labour government.

'Our party, new Labour.
Our mission, new Britain.

'New Labour, new Britain.'

Fuck's up with you, man?

Come on, Johnno.

Come on then!

Come on then, Johnno.

Come on then.

Come on, Johnno. Come on.

Come on then, you fucking wee dick.

Huh! Jesus Christ!

"Come on, Johnno!
Come on, son!"

Ya fucking fruit, man.

Spanner, how the fuck
did you get in here?

Window.
Pure Spider-Manned it, like.

Keep your voice down, you plum.
They'll go ballistic.

Johnno.

Listen.

'This is coming from
our brothers in the ghettos of Detroit

'to us in the schemes of West Lothian.

'These are the universal beats
from the people's streets.

'It's Underground Resistance
bringing the riot!'

Found that radio station.

Cunt's been banging on
about the party all day.

Top-secret shindig.

He's gonna announce it here.

We'll get the deets,
hook up with Wendy, go with the lassies.

- Look, Spanner...
- 'Revolt, Revolt, Revolt.

'Two arms up in the air
and two fingers to the authorities!

'Your children may ask you,
"Were you there?"

'Don't let them down.
Their future's at stake.

'And for those just tuning in,

'the big announcement is this.

'Friday night.

'We are gonna get
this fucking party started, Scotland.

'Location and more details
to follow, comrades,

'so stay tuned.'

Fucking hell.

An actual proper rave.

Think they can freeze out Spanner
for being "too wee"?

Well, guess what? S-Daddy just got us
in the fucking loop, man. It's on, mate.

No fucking way, Spanner.

Absolutely no fucking chance.
Are you mental?

Don't be feared, man.

Here,

"Come on, Johnno. Come on.

"Come on, Johnno.

"Come on, Johnno!"

Come on, yes!

Yes.

Come on, Johnno, don't be a slave,
come to the rave!

Fuck's sake!

Fucking get off me, you beast!

Revolt, you cunt!

Johnno,
what is going on up there?

Oh, shit! Hide. Hide.

Johnno?

What you did down there was cold.
Just callous and rude.

What's this?

It's... It's Spanner's.

- Have you been seeing him again?
- No.

Johnno...

Johnno, listen. I'm not daft.

I know he's a bit of a charity case,
that laddie, right?

And it's admirable
that you've stuck by him all these years.

But he's dangerous.
Do you understand?

Robert's right.
Him and his family are...

Well, there's no kind way of saying this.

They're scum.

Everyone says it.

And this move is a chance for you
to cut yourself loose from him finally.

New house,
new neighbours, new school.

Why do you just repeat
what he says all the time?

Johnno, we agreed this.

A good school. New pals.

We said it would be good for us,
didn't we?

Didn't we?

- Yes.
- Good.

The removal guys
are gonna be here in a week,

Robert's told the housing that we'll be out
by the end of the month, so...

you need to start packing.

I can pack myself!

Ding dong.

What are you doing in my house?
Get out! Get out! Get out!

What on Earth is going on?

Johnno, I'll just see you later on, aye?

No, you will not!
You will not be seeing him!

Get out!

Aye, well,

give us my fucking radio back then.

Dick!

What the hell
has he been making you do?

And get your top back on.
You're grounded.

I have told you.

Did I not tell you? I told you.

That boy will drag you down.

He'll drag me down
if you're seen with him.

He is bad news for this family, Johnno.

You're putting us in jeopardy, son.

I'm not your son.

He can't ground me, Mum.

Be quiet. He just did.

Get packing.

'Tonight,
my motherfucking friends, it is on.

'Gather your wits, your bits,
turn on, tune in

'and prepare to drop the fuck out

'as the countdown
to Revolt raveaggedon begins.'

That's what I says to him, I says,

"I can open markets for you.
Like, serious, I will shift this.

"I'm telling you..."

Aye, Aye, whatever, just mind
and get back here tonight, like.

I was listening to that.

Fucking noise. Shut it.

- Not enough, like?
- Nowhere near it.

That money was due yesterday.

You need to get busy tonight, like,
or we're fucked.

Here, youse finish the milk?

Aye, what about it?

Argh! Fuck's that for?

Got a problem, like?

Fucking stop it, Fido!

- What's wrong, like?
- No, I'm not in the fucking mood, mate.

- Hit me back then.
- Get off, man.

- Hit me back.
- Fuck off, man.

- Come on, man.
- There we go. Alright.

- Get the fuck off!
- Fucking punch me.

Punch me, you skinny wee prick.

- Gary, am I bleeding?
- Aye.

Nice one, Spanner, wee man.
You did good there, you wee dick.

What the fuck do you want?

Here to see Spanner.

Johnno, what you doing here?

Johnno, aye?

Not seen you round here in some time, boyo.

Spanner, man,
I've been looking everywhere for you.

I wanted to say about the other night...

- What happened the other night, like?
- Nothing.

Still wetting the bed, Johnno, eh?

Nope.

"Nope."

You're funny, wee man.

"Nope."

- Fucking stop it, Fido.
- Oh!

He's cool.

It's cool, eh, Johnno?

You're one of the boys, like.

You're one of the troops, Johnno, eh?

See?

You're one of the gadgees, man.

I mean, what is this?

The fucking jakey Wonder Years?

Fido, stop showing off, eh?

What did you say?

Nothing, just...

What did you just say to me?

Are you fucking taking the piss
in front of one of my squad?

- Think you're the big man, aye?
- Fuck off!

Do yourself a favour and apologise.

You do me a favour and brush your teeth,
you fucking skank!

Apologise to me now.

Stop it. Leave him alone.

- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
- I can't hear you. Mean it!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry.

Good!

That was a good effort, Spanner.
You did good there, wee man.

Right, ladies.

Got some people to see.
Gary, come on.

Wait.

Hold on.

It's not so dry anymore.

Eat your fucking cereal.

Spanner?

- Spanner, are you...
- Fine. I'm fine.

- Wait, is your face...
- I says I'm fucking fine, Johnno!

Here, I hope you don't think

I just let him push me about like that
all the time, 'cause I don't.

I swear to God, I don't.

Aye. Cool.

Look, Spanner,

what my ma said, you ken...

I fucking love Coco Pops and all.

Prick!

Spanner, will you listen?

Look, I didn't want you
to find out like that.

No. It's cool.

It's cool, man. Sounds great.

Aye. Really, really great.

So, when you off, like?

- A week.
- A fucking week?

Where to, like?

Sake, man.

Ken what? Fuck this, man.

What? Spanner, are you mental?
He'll fucking end you, like.

Aye. So what's new?

This is my prerogative, wee man.

- "Prerogative"?
- Aye.

Just 'cause I'm not going to school
doesn't mean I'm not learning stuff.

My prerogative.

The future I deserve. For me.

Spanner!

Spanner, man,
you need to put that money back.

Spanner, I'm serious.
He'll kick your head in.

What the fuck!

Johnno, listen up, right,
'cause this is what's happenin'.

This money's mine now,
and I'm spending it on a fucking blast,

and I'm gonna deal with the consequences
later on 'cause, fuck it, why not?

You can either come with me
to this party or not, it's up to you.

But I need to get out of here right now

if I'm going to put any fresh air
between me and that fucking psycho

before he gets back.

- Well, I'm not comin'.
- How?

- I'm grounded, mate.
- Are you fucking 10, like?

I need to get to work,

and then I need to get straight home
and start packing,

or Robert will fucking kill us.

Fucking...

Well, that's it.

That's just how it is.

Look, I'll see you later.

Johnno.

Please, mate.

Last night out, eh?

Me and you.

Dream team and that.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Tidy.

Let's fucking beat it then.

'To be governed
is to be at every operation

'noted, registered, stamped, measured,

'numbered, assessed, authorised,
admonished, prevented,

'forbidden, reformed, corrected, watched,

'inspected, spied upon, directed,
enrolled, indoctrinated,

'preached at, controlled, checked.

'In other words, listeners, sisters, brothers,

'fuck these fucking motherfuckers
right to absolute fuck.

'They want us to get in line, but we won't.'

They want us to be afraid of each other,
but we're not.

We are better than this.

'The only good system is a sound system,

'and if I can't dance to it,
it's not my revolution.

'This is my revolution, listeners.

'This one.

'This one.

'I dearly hope you'll make it yours, too.

- 'Join us.'
- Wendy?

Oi, oi!

Here.

Drink that.

- Try and keep it together, alright?
- Right.

I've been listening to that D-Man cunt
non-fucking-stop.

"Rave to the Grave! Revolt!"

Spanner, what is it
you're actually after, wee man?

- Can we come with youse?
- Haven't you got any mates your own age?

I cannae just afford to pay
for a night out for you. I'm pratted.

Don't worry about that, Wendy hen.

Spanner's getting the mad dogs in.

- He cannae come but.
- Why not?

His dad's a cop.

It's not even his dad.
It's cool, Johnno, eh?

You're not gonna grass on us,
are you, wee man?

Good.

Come on then.

Hi. Can I speak to Colin?

Hello, Colin.

Hi, it's Robert Dunlop here.

Hi. How you doin'?

Aye. It's, erm...
It's about Johnno.

Yeah, he won't be coming in today.

No, it's er...

It's pretty bad. He's, er...

He's dead.

Aye. Aye, we're all pure gutted, like...

Look, I'd rather not talk about it.

I just wanted to...

Aye. Aye.

I'll pass that on.

Alright. Thanks. Bye. Bye, bye.

Bye.

What did you do that for,
you fucking psycho?

- Calling you a sicky.
- You just told him I was dead!

Well, I can never go back there now!

Thought you were moving, wee man.

I was meant to get a transfer.

Oh, right...
Well, that's you fucked then.

Sorry.

I've not even been paid yet.

Guess you're with us then, wee man, eh?

Might as well
make the fucking most of it, eh?

There's a knack to it.

It's nice once you're in, boys.

Homey like, ken?

Hello? Guys!

Who's there?

This is the police. We are comin' in!

And there better not be any
pure mad party-heads kicking about in here!

Aye! We do not like the party-heads!

- Argh!
- Fucking shat myself.

Thank fuck you lot are here.

- Alright, D?
- I brought my wee cousin and his pal.

- Spanner, Johnno.
- Nice one. Fresh blood.

- Always good.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.

D? The cunt off the radio?

The cunt...

off the radio?

Yes!

I am the cunt off the radio!
I'm having that!

His name's Derek.

Nobody calls me that.

Sorry. Sorry, D-Man. D-Man.
Or D-Boy.

Or D-Dog, or D-Mob, or D-Funk,

or any other combination of his own first
initial and some randomly selected noun.

Ha-ha-ha!

You tell him, hen!

Fuck! Nice one. Nice one, man.

Big fan. Big fucking fan, like. Say,
"Revolt, you cunts!" Get what I'm saying?

Aye, I do know what you're saying.

Fucking tone it, Spanner, eh?

Any news on the party, D?

This is not just a party, Wendy,
it's a protest.

And, yes. Some news. Just don't, you know,
freak out or anything.

What? What happened?

Well, it's a fucking nightmare, basically.

Pigs busted the venue.

Cunts confiscated
half the fucking sound system.

What?

Don't worry though. Just gotta wait.
Hold tight till they roll out plan B.

What's plan B, like?

There's always a plan B, and C.

Revolt is still in action. I'll let you know.

When, like?

"Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."

Fuck you on about?

Jean-Jacques Rousseau, mate.

Wakey-wakey, fuckers!

A.C.A.B. till I die!

For those of you just tuned in,
some upsetting news.

'Those frightened little men in blue
might've shut us down this time.

'But fear not, comrades.

'If Lothian and Borders' finest
are listening,

'you might have this one,
but this ain't fucking over.

'Revolting people, stay tuned.
Revolting news coming soon.'

'What we're dealing with here
is a total disrespect for the rule of law.'

Hiya, sweetheart.

Hiya there, darling.
Where have you been?

Eh?

I've been looking everywhere for you.

Was wondering if I'd ever see you again.

Hiya, Les!

- Cunt works for my brother.
- What?

Stay cool, Johnno. Stay cool.

Welcome to Community Service
Radio HQ, boys.

Make yourselves at home.

You sitting down then?

Right, aye. Aye. Sound.

Mate, what's this music?

Pish.

- You like it, do you?
- Aye.

Criminal Justice And Public Order Bill.
You heard about this?

They're making it illegal
to have "gatherings around music,

"characterised wholly or predominantly

"by the emission
of a succession of repetitive beats."

I fucking know, right?

So, what these guys did was, they recorded
this track which has no repetitive beats.

Literally, no repetitive beats,

so you could have a big fuck-off party
and listen to nothing but this track,

and they'd have to let you.

And it'd be totally fucking legal,
and they'd have to fucking let you.

Aye, it'd be pure murder, but.

Fuck off, Wendy.

What you saying to it, Johnno?

I like it.

It's different. It's cool.

Yes, mate!

They wanna
privatise our fucking minds, little man,

keep us in our separate little boxes,
but we won't let them.

It's a living thing, a living pulse,
and they can't kill it.

I fucking love that chat.
You tell them, D-Man! Whoo!

Get real, mate. Get fucking real.

No, you get real.

We're being stripped of our rights, and with
that attitude, you're gonna let them.

Everyone shut up a minute, yeah?

Why go to all that effort,
then let any cunt waltz in for free?

Like, that's what I don't get.
You could make money off it.

What you on about?

It's a free party, you fucking idiot.

It's a fucking washed-up scene anyway.
It's moved on, been done.

Eh, pal? Eh?

It's not like it was back in the day,
am I right, mate?

Eh?

What's the story here?

Fuck's sake, Les!

You should've seen the state of this cunt
last night, by the way.

Fucking hilarious.

Fuck's up with him, like?

Les spiked the poor cunt for a laugh.

I never fucking spiked him. Alright?

I gave him three snowballs.
He wanted them.

He asked what to do with them, I says,
"Take them all at once." His choice.

It was brutal, man.

Well, you all seemed to think
it was funny last night. What's this?

All fucking uppity in front of
Simon and Garfunkel here? Right?

Well, just so youse know, boys,

I do a lot of recreational drugs.

No. I don't give a fuck what you think.

Right.

What?

Here. You.

Flight of the Navigator,
what you got to say about it?

Fuck's sake, Les.

Don't listen to him, boys,
he's just being a fanny.

Shut it, you.

How do youse two ken Laura?
Youse got any brothers?

You ken Spanner's brother!

Fido.

Fido Smith.

This?

This is Fido Smith's wee brother?

Deary me. Why are you hanging about
with this wee fuck-nugget?

He's not a wee fuck-nugget.

Down the stairs, wee man, left,
then left again.

Do you want me to show you?

Well done, Les.

Um. There's someone in here.

Aye, I ken that, you wee fanny.
It's me. Open the door.

Close the door, eh.

Look, Spanner. These cunts are ratch,
and not in a good way.

Och, donnae be so feared, man.

Look, they all says that Les cunt's
an arsehole. Don't worry about it.

Well, he kens Fido.

And, what? We're supposed to
follow this lot to an illegal fucking rave?

The police are onto it.

I'm going home.

I've gone to a lot of bother for all this.

Well, I never asked you to.

Look, it's different for you.

Different how, like?

Well, it just is. You ken it is.

What? It's alright for me
to hang about with the rejects,

but you're on the straight and narrow,

moving on to better things,
is that right, aye?

- No, I never said that.
- Aye, near enough, but.

And anyway,
your fucking ma did, eh?

- Fuck, I tried to talk to you about that.
- A charity case, is it?

Stuck up cow, man.

What you saying about my mum, like?

Fuck off, Johnno!
She should be thanking me.

You'd be getting your arse tanned every day
if it wasn't for me.

Hard man, aye?

You sound just like your fucking brother!

There it is. There it fucking is.

Come on then, say it.
What was it your ma said?

Look, you're always getting me in bother,
Spanner, you ken it!

Aye, so say it then!

- Fucking say it!
- "Scum"!

She said "fucking scum"!

Why don't you just fuck off
to happy-clappy plastic land now then,

with your ma, your new dad,
and your nice new life, eh?

No cunts like me around to noise you up.
Nice and safe, Johnno.

I get it. "Know your role, shut your hole."

Don't have to worry about me
dragging you down anymore.

See you later then.

Okay, everyone, listen up!

As soon as it's announced,
you swamp the site

and lock it down before the cops do.

Head to Junction 6 off the M8.
That's Junction 6.

When you get there,
the new number to call is 041-272-0962.

We are strong in numbers.
This is how we win.

If we get there before them,
they cannot shut this down.

Go, people, go, go, go!

Fuck them and their law!

- Directions! Get in!
- Tidy!

Yes! Is this not a fucking party, or what?
Come on!

From each according to his ability,
to each according to his needs,

petrol money in the hat, please.

Fucking nice one, fella.

Big shout-out!

Er...

Aye. Erm...

Don't be a slave. Come to the rave!
Fuck the police!

Especially that big prick
Robert Dunlop. Ha!

- Hey, get a move on, troops, let's go!
- Come on.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...
Where the fuck do you think you're going?

Well, we're all...

I'm going. We're all going.
You too. Aren't we?

No, we're not.
We're not going anywhere.

Donnae be making me
look like a fucking cunt again, Laura.

Les, what the fuck?

What, sit in a field with a bunch of fucking
crusties and hippies and tree-huggers

and homeless cunts and all that?

Aye, very fucking good. Sit down.

What you afraid of, like?

Sit the fuck down.

Don't you fucking dare sit down, Laura.

Listen, Les, you and your fucking five-year
business plan can do what youse want...

Fuck's it got to do with you, like,
you fat whore?

What you gonna do, you cunt?

Les! What the fuck!

Oh, f...

Oh, fucking...

No! Les...

Spanner!

Leave him alone!

Go! Go!

- Go!
- Go! Go! Go!

Go, go, go!

Fucking psycho bitch!

Come on!

Laura! Laura, please come back!

Laura, just get in, darling!

I'll fucking kill you, too, you fat cow!

Laura, please! Laura!

- Get it right up you, you fucking nonce!
- Shut your fucking...

- Get in!
- Laura!

- Come back here, you fucking slag!
- Fucking get in!

Are you coming or not, wee man?

- Laura! Laura! Come back here!
- Fucking come on!

Johnno, hurry the fuck up!

Laura!

Don't you run away
with these fucking lowlife cunts!

Laura! Fuck!

Hello.

Aye.

Where is he?

You should've stuck
that lava lamp right up his arse.

Aye, he likes that, but.

Yeah, you really lamped him.

Like...

Lava-lamped him.

Yeah!

Aye, we fucking get it, you idiot.

Fuck me... D-Man, got to pull over!

No, you should've gone before we left.

Spanner?

This night better be fucking worth it.

Swear down I would've
put her in her place right there,

but I was ambushed, man.

We need to teach them a lesson,
ken what I'm saying, Gary?

You're not letting them
get away with that, Fido, am I right?

Mate. Gonna shut up a minute?

Right, aye. Right.

Can I borrow your glasses, mate?

What?

Fuck...

How... How long till we get there?

- How long now, D-Man?
- Hmm?

Whoa, Jesus, man!

Stop! Stop, stop, stop...!

Thank fuck.

Fuck's going on?
Fuck's wrong with you?

I just...

You know, stick it to the left.

- What?
- Ah, fuck's sake.

You're fucking flying.
He's fucking gubbed.

Great.

- Fuck's up with him?
- He's tripping.

He's tripping his tits off.

Can either of you cunts drive?

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

He's fucked it. He's actually just
fucked the whole thing up the arse.

Spanner, can you not drive, no?

- I've got a motorbike, but never a car.
- Wee man?

- I would if I could, like.
- Well, that's useful to know.

Just tell them, Johnno.

Tell us what?

Look... Christ, man.

I've only been at the wheel like three times,
in a car park with Robert.

And I made a right cunt of it once.

Derek, give me the directions.

Directions...

are upside down, if I'm honest.

Follow your nose.

Fucking hell.

Car park, motorway,
what's the difference?

Get in.

Cheers for that, eh?

You'll be fine.

- For fuck's... No, I don't fucking...
- Here!

You'll be fine.

You better fucking sit with me then.

I cannae guide you or that,
I dinnae have a fucking clue.

Just sit with me. Please, Spanner.

Get in. Come on.

Get in, you fucking wally!

- Shite.
- It's cool, Johnno. It's cool.

Deep breaths, alright?

Right. Am I alright back there?
Am I alright?

Not now. Not now, not now.

- What about now?
- Just chill! Just chill!

What about now?

Yeah. Okay. Okay.
Aye, you're fine.

- Am I?
- Fine, fine! Go, go, go, go!

Change up a gear,
change up a gear!

Here. Johnno, breathe!
Just breathe, breathe.

Yes!

Get off the road, you cunt!

Think my turning's coming up.
Where's my turn, Spanner?

I don't know. I don't know!

Whoa!

Amazing.

Right. Follow them.

Yes. They did it! They fucking did it!

Stop the fucking car!

Lads.

We're in the right place.

Come on, you mad bitch.

Johnno.

That was fucking magic, wee man.

And you were well in for me
with that manky paedo Les cunt, so like...

Cheers for that, eh?

You went pure Scrappy-Doo on him, like.

Well, I did a bit.

You alright here? With all this?

You cool?

'Cause, like, if you are...

We'll need these, eh?

It's cool, but like...
If you dinnae want to, we dinnae have to.

It's maybe not quite
what you had in mind here, eh?

I don't know what I had in mind, Spanner.
It was your idea.

Look...

I know I've caused you a lot of bother, eh?

But we could just hang here and get home.

Well, how would we get home, like?

It's a fag-end scene anyway, all this.

It's been done. Washed up.
Look at it.

Aye. It's not been done by us, but.

We've come this far, like.

We can't just go home.

Get back in the box.

Not now.

Fuck it, Spanner. Eh?

Dream team and that.

Aye.

Aye. Fuck it.

Well, I'll see you
on the other side then, mate.

I've got another one for you later
if you want it, eh?

Got a bit lost?

Here we go!

Welcome.

Welcome.

Spanner!

Spanner, what the fuck?

Are you alright, mate?

Hey, hey, Johnno.
It's cool, mate. It's cool.

You're alright, mate.

Holy shit, Spanner, man.

- Holy fuck! Fuck!
- Hey, it's cool.

Stay with me, mate.
Just stay with me.

Yes!

It's cool, Johnno.

It's cool.

Come here.

Johnno. You alright, wee man?

Yes, my wee pals!

Fuck it! Fuck it, know what I mean?

Fucking fuck it, wee man!

This is it, little wee man.

No more keeping your head down,
living a lie. Yeah?

We're gonna feel what we wanna feel
and feel it together.

You with me?

They can't touch this.

Or this.

Fucking right, man! Fucking right!

- All these people, Spanner, eh?
- Eh?

All these people. Like, everybody...

It's so amazing.

Aye, mate, aye!

Nice moves on you, magic hands.

What?

That was pretty fucking special
what you did back there, do you know that?

You alright now? You scared?

No, no, no.

You feeling okay?

Yeah, I feel fucking tremendous!

Come with me.

What you going to do about thingemy?
What's his name? Les.

You asking me about
my relationship situation, wee man?

No! No, no,
I never meant like that, just...

No.

What have they said to you about him?
What have they told you?

Well...

Spanner said that he was
a manky old paedo, like,

but that was about it.

But I'm pretty sure he never meant
like an actual paedo or that.

Is that it?

Youse are really proper best pals,
you two, eh?

Everyone thinks
Spanner's just some headcase,

but he's actually the smartest guy
you'll ever meet.

He's actually really fucking brave.

I'm really just a coward next to him.

Come on then, magic hands.

Let's go back in.

Enjoy it while it lasts, eh?

Johnno, yes!

Dream team!
Fugitives, wee man! On the run!

Spanner, I fucking love you!

You, too, wee man! I love you, too!

"By the mere fact that he forms part
of an organised crowd,

"a man descends several rungs
in the ladder of civilisation."

Remember, you lot,
where lawlessness prevails,

people become a danger to themselves.

You'll need to be alert,

responsible to yourselves
and each other.

Donnae let your team down.

I'll be watching.

Okay!

Let's fucking do this! Come on!

Listen up!
It's pandemonium in there.

So, get in there and hit them hard.

D-Man!

Let's go.

Come on! Go! Go!

Back! Fucking back!

- Get back!
- You cunts!

Get back! Get back! Get fucking back!

Get back!

Get back!

Get back! Get back! Get back!
Get back!

Johnno!

Johnno!

Fucking hell, man.

Johnno!

Fuck's sake, you wee dick.

- You seen him yet?
- No.

Jesus Christ.

Come on, mate. You're alright.

Everyone.

Wake up. Wake up!

- Why am I still fucking here?
- Have you seen him?

- Have you seen the wee man?
- Oh, fuck off.

Where is Johnno?

Fuck off, Spanner.
Get out of my face.

Hi, I'm Johnno McCredie's mum.

I believe he's been picked up.

He's down there.
They're taking his name and his picture.

Is he getting charged?

No. No. It's just routine.

- Right.
- Aye.

Robert, I'm really sorry about this.

It must be pure mortifying for you,

for all your colleagues to ken he's my son.

Aye, it is a bit.

Thing is, this was on the cards, like.

He cannae just think
that he can run around wild

and there not be any consequences.

Now,

he's picked up a few knocks.

So don't get a fright
when you see him, okay?

What do you mean?

I'll get him sent up now.

Charge desk is just up there to the left.

Okay.

Go easy on him, eh?

Excuse me? Excuse me?
Can I make my phone call, please?

Johnno McCredie?

Johnno?

Arms up.

It's okay, Mum.

I'm okay.

I know.

The police...

Did the police do this to you, son?

Yeah.

Right.

Are you alright?

Are you?

I will be.

I love you, Mum.

I love you, too.

What are they?

Your work sent them.

Come on. Get into bed.
Get some sleep.

We'll fucking sort
those wee cunts out, Fido.

Get your money back, no mercy,
man, no mercy.

We'll fucking see to it, like.

- Pull over.
- What?

Fucking pull over!

Where's he off to?
Fido. Fido, man, what you doing?

Stop it! What you doing?

Stop it!

- Drive.
- Fido. Fido.

What the fuck are we even doing, man?

What could you possibly want here?

Er... is Johnno here?

I, er... brought his school bag.

What?

Is he alright?

He will be.

Can I see him?

He's upstairs.

- Take your fucking shoes off.
- Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry.

Fuck.

Sorry. I mean sorry.

Spanner. What's going on?
What you doing here?

Brought your bag.

Left it at the D-Man's,
you fucking wally.

Oh.

Aye. Cheers.

Listen, Johnno, I'm...

I'm really sorry, eh?

What?

Everything, like.

Landing you in all this.

What you on about?

It was fucking magic.

How you feeling?

Fucking broke, man.

Surprised your ma let me in, eh?

Aye.

Reckon that's her sound with me now?

I wouldn't count on it, mate.

So, er...

what time the removal boys
coming round then?

Don't know.

Sometime next week.

Have to be out of this place
by the end of the month.

Right.

You been home?

Much of that money you got left?

Peanuts, like.

You ken he was following us, aye?

Aye. Wendy saw him.

You see him and all, aye?

I'm a dead man, eh?

Like actually dead.

Right, er...

I fucking better leave you to it,
wee man, eh?

Face the music.

You donnae have to, Spanner.

You donnae have to go back there.

- Aye, I do.
- You donnae.

Oh...

Oh, no. Fuck, no.

- Argh! Fuck you up to?
- Sorry.

Oh... fuck me, man.

- What?
- You're in my bit.

No, I'm not, that's your half there.

- Fucking bolt, you nugget, it's my bed.
- Alright. Right.

Johnno.

You'll look after yourself, alright?

- Spanner...
- No, look...

- I'm just saying, 'cause like...
- Aye.

Spanner, I will.

Don't be a fucking dafty. Promise?

- Get your arm off me.
- I'm not moving

until I hear you fucking promise.

Right, promise. Right.

Right.

You promise me and all then, right?

I'll come back and see you, like.

Aye.

Aye, sure, man.

It was fucking magic, like.