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1
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:33,552
Ah, the Heckler & Koch G-36.
2
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,888
Quite deadly
in the right hands.
3
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:01,205
Ah, Agent One.
4
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,544
I have been so looking forward
to this moment.
5
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:11,216
Well, in that case,
I'll try not to disappoint.
6
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:16,429
You overestimate your power
over women, Mr. English.
7
00:02:17,931 --> 00:02:20,558
I'd say that would be
virtually impossible.
8
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:37,659
Sir? Sir?
9
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,579
- Sir! Have you got them?
10
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:44,457
- Hmm?
- The mission documents.
Agent One's flying tonight.
11
00:02:44,499 --> 00:02:50,130
Yes, the mission documents.
They're here somewhere. Ah, here we are.
12
00:02:52,841 --> 00:02:54,926
Agent One.
13
00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:56,845
Gentlemen.
14
00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:05,228
I'm here for my documents.
15
00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:08,648
Bough, Agent One's
documents, please.
16
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,445
- Thank you.
17
00:03:14,529 --> 00:03:16,197
Your mission documents,
Agent One.
18
00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:20,660
Including the codes for the submarine
hatch, which I've checked myself.
19
00:03:20,702 --> 00:03:23,497
Thank you.
20
00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:28,794
So, is it just France tonight,
or will you be slipping
over the Pyrenees as well?
21
00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:32,755
If I told you that,
I'm afraid I'd have to kill you.
22
00:03:32,839 --> 00:03:37,177
Oh.
23
00:03:37,219 --> 00:03:42,765
Oh, yes, yes.
Well, I expect you would.
24
00:03:42,849 --> 00:03:44,810
Cheerio, Agent One.
25
00:03:44,893 --> 00:03:48,105
Bonne chance.
Arrivederci.
26
00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:54,653
Such class.
Such distinction.
27
00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:59,449
To: Ml7 All Depts. Urgent
Agent One killed in action in Biarritz.
28
00:03:59,533 --> 00:04:03,161
Submarine hatch failed to open.
29
00:04:03,203 --> 00:04:08,501
The greatest secret agent England's
ever had snuffed out in an instant.
30
00:04:08,542 --> 00:04:11,461
Terrible.
31
00:04:11,545 --> 00:04:15,173
Do you know what makes us envied
the world over, Bough?
32
00:04:15,216 --> 00:04:19,637
- That there's always another
agent waiting to step in.
- Absolutely, sir.
33
00:04:19,719 --> 00:04:23,181
And every last one of them
is gathered around that grave.
34
00:04:23,224 --> 00:04:27,686
It is our honor and privilege
to guard them while they grieve.
35
00:04:27,769 --> 00:04:31,982
Their lives
are in our hands, Bough.
36
00:04:40,907 --> 00:04:43,743
Everything in order, English?
37
00:04:43,828 --> 00:04:47,747
I think you'll find it's rather more
than just in order, sir.
38
00:04:47,790 --> 00:04:51,877
You're now entering the most secure
location in the whole of England.
39
00:04:59,593 --> 00:05:01,929
Pegasus,
we face a national crisis.
40
00:05:01,971 --> 00:05:06,058
Agent One was clearly onto something,
and we have to find out what.
41
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:08,727
I need another agent on this.
Who else is there?
42
00:05:08,769 --> 00:05:12,606
No one, Prime Minister.
They all died in the explosion.
43
00:05:12,648 --> 00:05:14,608
All of them?
44
00:05:14,608 --> 00:05:17,903
Well, luckily there is
one who survived.
45
00:05:17,945 --> 00:05:19,280
Who?
46
00:05:19,363 --> 00:05:21,866
One eye on the shadows
47
00:05:21,949 --> 00:05:24,285
Protecting his fellows
48
00:05:24,326 --> 00:05:27,580
- From sunup
till the moon on his back
49
00:05:27,621 --> 00:05:31,459
- Sendin' villains to Hades
A hit with the ladies
- Johnny English.
50
00:05:31,501 --> 00:05:34,921
A stallion in the sack
51
00:05:34,962 --> 00:05:39,467
- You can't get your life back
when right follows left, Jack
52
00:05:39,509 --> 00:05:42,762
The more you see
the less you know
53
00:05:42,845 --> 00:05:47,266
When others would leak it
His service is secret
54
00:05:47,308 --> 00:05:51,229
Plays God
when it's your time to go
55
00:05:51,312 --> 00:05:54,273
Hey, fellas
Don't be jealous
56
00:05:54,315 --> 00:05:57,819
When they made him
they broke the mold
57
00:05:57,902 --> 00:06:02,156
So charismatic
with an automatic
58
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:05,451
Never prematurely
shooting his load
59
00:06:05,535 --> 00:06:07,578
Hah!
60
00:06:07,662 --> 00:06:09,122
Queen and country
safe and sound
61
00:06:09,163 --> 00:06:11,208
With villains
six feet underground
62
00:06:11,249 --> 00:06:13,794
And no one knows 'cause
no one's found any trace
63
00:06:13,835 --> 00:06:16,671
Of a man for all seasons
64
00:06:16,754 --> 00:06:19,424
Loves 'em
and leaves 'em alone
65
00:06:19,508 --> 00:06:22,844
So alone
66
00:06:22,844 --> 00:06:26,807
And you and I wouldn't have a clue
who's doin' what, why, when and who
67
00:06:26,848 --> 00:06:29,351
Up a creek with no canoe
Watch out
68
00:06:29,393 --> 00:06:32,019
For the man
for all seasons
69
00:06:32,104 --> 00:06:35,022
Loves 'em
and leaves 'em alone
70
00:06:35,107 --> 00:06:36,650
So alone
71
00:06:36,691 --> 00:06:41,905
- But safe at home
- But safe at home
72
00:06:41,947 --> 00:06:46,284
- Oh, yeah, yeah
- But safe at home
73
00:06:46,368 --> 00:06:49,371
But safe at home
But safe at home
74
00:06:53,708 --> 00:06:57,212
Then you and I wouldn't have a clue
who's doinメ what, why, when and who
75
00:06:57,295 --> 00:07:00,674
Up a creek with no canoe
Watch out
76
00:07:00,715 --> 00:07:03,051
For the man
for all seasons
77
00:07:03,093 --> 00:07:07,013
Loves 'em and leaves 'em
alone, so alone
78
00:07:07,055 --> 00:07:11,226
But safe at home
79
00:07:13,437 --> 00:07:15,481
Right.
80
00:07:15,564 --> 00:07:19,651
Johnny English.
I'm here to see Pegasus.
81
00:07:19,735 --> 00:07:23,071
Still, no sense
rushing things.
82
00:07:25,407 --> 00:07:28,827
There are some items you need
to sign before your briefing.
83
00:07:28,911 --> 00:07:31,914
This is your new
retinal I.D. Card,
84
00:07:31,997 --> 00:07:34,792
and this is your level nine
security clearance.
85
00:07:34,833 --> 00:07:38,587
Sign and date, please.
86
00:07:38,670 --> 00:07:40,881
Ah.
87
00:07:40,964 --> 00:07:44,761
Oh, reminds me of the old
service issue ballpoint.
88
00:07:44,802 --> 00:07:48,388
I remember every agent would carry
a pen that looked just like this.
89
00:07:48,430 --> 00:07:51,768
Completely innocent to the untrained
eye, but click it twice...
90
00:07:55,604 --> 00:07:58,023
Ah, English, there you are.
91
00:07:58,107 --> 00:08:01,110
Have you seen my secretary?
92
00:08:01,194 --> 00:08:04,530
Um... she went out.
93
00:08:05,697 --> 00:08:09,451
Um... shall we?
94
00:08:12,205 --> 00:08:16,750
Now, Agent One believed that there was
a plot to steal the Crown Jewels.
95
00:08:16,834 --> 00:08:19,629
They've recently been through
a multimillion-pound restoration,
96
00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:22,423
largely paid for
by a corporate sponsor.
97
00:08:22,464 --> 00:08:26,052
They're due to be unveiled
tonight at the Tower of London.
98
00:08:26,135 --> 00:08:30,390
The queen is insisting that the ceremony
goes ahead, so what we want you to...
99
00:08:33,142 --> 00:08:36,603
Hah! Who... Who...
100
00:08:36,688 --> 00:08:39,440
Who is the sponsor, sir?
101
00:08:39,482 --> 00:08:41,943
Pascal Sauvage.
102
00:08:41,984 --> 00:08:45,071
What, that flouncy Frenchman
who owns a couple of prisons?
103
00:08:45,154 --> 00:08:48,574
Sauvage's ᆪ7 billion empire,
English,
104
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:51,661
operates over 400 prisons
in 60 countries.
105
00:08:51,743 --> 00:08:54,288
- He's built 25 of them here.
- Right, sir.
106
00:08:54,372 --> 00:08:57,125
The man's related to the royal family,
for goodnessメ sake.
107
00:08:57,208 --> 00:09:02,338
As far as the prime minister's
concerned, he's one of the
greatest friends England's got.
108
00:09:02,422 --> 00:09:08,302
Now, English, I want you at the Tower
tonight, monitoring this unveiling.
109
00:09:08,344 --> 00:09:10,972
Any chink in security,
any weakness,
110
00:09:11,055 --> 00:09:13,975
however slight,
must be plugged immediately.
111
00:09:14,017 --> 00:09:16,519
Do we understand each other?
112
00:09:16,561 --> 00:09:18,646
- Perfectly, sir.
- Good.
113
00:09:18,730 --> 00:09:21,607
- Oh, yes.
- And, uh, English...
114
00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:25,361
we can't afford any mistakes...
not tonight.
115
00:09:25,445 --> 00:09:30,283
The word "mistake," sir, is not one
that appears in my dictionary.
116
00:09:30,366 --> 00:09:33,037
THE TOWER OF LONDON
117
00:09:36,289 --> 00:09:38,374
Fantastic car, sir!
118
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:52,514
Mr. English, Colonel Sir Anthony
Chevenix, head of Royal Security.
119
00:09:52,555 --> 00:09:54,557
Ah, Colonel,
good evening.
120
00:09:54,642 --> 00:09:57,645
- Snipers posted on the roof
as per my request?
- Thirteen of them.
121
00:09:57,727 --> 00:10:00,730
- Windows?
- Refitted with bullet-
and shatter-proof glass.
122
00:10:03,901 --> 00:10:07,862
I shall now mingle
inconspicuously with the guests.
123
00:10:07,946 --> 00:10:11,033
- Let me know when Her Majesty arrives.
- Very good.
124
00:10:11,116 --> 00:10:13,868
Shall I mingle
with you, sir?
125
00:10:13,911 --> 00:10:17,122
Oh, yes, Bough.
Once you've checked the roof.
126
00:10:39,770 --> 00:10:41,897
Help! Help!
127
00:10:41,981 --> 00:10:44,023
Well, hello.
128
00:10:45,150 --> 00:10:47,194
Hello yourself.
129
00:10:47,277 --> 00:10:50,197
Johnny English.
130
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,908
Lorna Campbell.
131
00:10:52,950 --> 00:10:55,911
A Bloody Mary, please,
not too spicy.
132
00:10:55,953 --> 00:10:59,623
So, are you here
in some professional capacity?
133
00:10:59,707 --> 00:11:02,126
I worked on the restoration
of the jewels.
134
00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:05,254
- Intriguing.
- And yourself?
135
00:11:05,295 --> 00:11:09,133
If I told you that,
I'm afraid I'd have to kill you.
136
00:11:09,175 --> 00:11:11,469
I'd like to see you try.
137
00:11:17,141 --> 00:11:20,604
Monsieur Sauvage,
on behalf of Her Majesty,
138
00:11:20,686 --> 00:11:22,980
may I welcome you
to the Tower.
139
00:11:23,063 --> 00:11:25,357
Merci, monsieur.
140
00:11:25,399 --> 00:11:27,611
So, are you here alone,
Mr. English?
141
00:11:27,651 --> 00:11:30,821
That's how I choose
to live my life, Miss Campbell.
142
00:11:30,905 --> 00:11:35,826
Women want safety, security.
I can offer them nothing but danger.
143
00:11:35,868 --> 00:11:38,829
Some women find danger
very attractive.
144
00:11:38,871 --> 00:11:42,042
Women like you,
Miss Campbell?
145
00:11:43,876 --> 00:11:47,129
Women like me
expect men like you...
146
00:11:47,213 --> 00:11:49,466
to find that out
for yourself.
147
00:11:49,548 --> 00:11:52,426
Hmm.
148
00:11:52,510 --> 00:11:55,347
Madame.
149
00:11:55,429 --> 00:12:00,142
Oh, it's for me, actually. Could your
rustle up some of those cheesy nib lets?
150
00:12:00,185 --> 00:12:02,686
Now, where were we?
151
00:12:02,728 --> 00:12:05,689
You obviously haven't met
our host, Monsieur Sauvage.
152
00:12:05,774 --> 00:12:07,983
No, thank God.
153
00:12:08,026 --> 00:12:12,822
You know, I think I'd rather have
my bottom impaled on a giant cactus...
154
00:12:12,863 --> 00:12:15,659
than exchange pleasantries
with that jumped-up Frenchman.
155
00:12:15,699 --> 00:12:20,830
As far as I'm concerned, the only thing
the French should host is an invasion.
156
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:25,126
Sorry, can I help?
157
00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:28,838
Pascal Sauvage,
jumped-up Frenchman.
158
00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:32,050
Lorna Campbell. I've been so looking
forward to meeting you.
159
00:12:32,133 --> 00:12:34,844
- Enchant←.
160
00:12:34,886 --> 00:12:38,098
But of course! Youメre Johnny English.
I've heard all about you.
161
00:12:38,223 --> 00:12:41,851
And between you and me,
I'm not so keen on the French myself.
162
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:44,688
But please
don't tell them that.
163
00:12:44,729 --> 00:12:47,565
Let me go and search
for your nibbly cheese bits.
164
00:12:47,607 --> 00:12:52,487
- No, no, no. L...
- I insist. The French are,
after all, fantastic waiters.
165
00:12:52,570 --> 00:12:54,739
- The best in the world.
- Well... But-But...
166
00:12:54,823 --> 00:12:57,575
- Wait here, and I will wait on you.
- No, really. There's no...
167
00:12:57,617 --> 00:13:01,455
No. Please, please, please!
168
00:13:03,665 --> 00:13:05,750
Hmm. Les Franais.
169
00:13:05,834 --> 00:13:11,256
Ils sont very...
n'est-ce pas?
170
00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:30,233
Ladies and gentlemen,
mesdames est messieurs,
171
00:13:30,275 --> 00:13:34,946
bienvenus, welcome tonight
to this wonderful occasion.
172
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:38,950
As we stand here
in the Tower of London,
173
00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:41,203
the most famous prison
in the world,
174
00:13:41,286 --> 00:13:44,831
where these wonderful
jewels will rest safely...
175
00:13:44,956 --> 00:13:47,125
under lock and key,
176
00:13:47,209 --> 00:13:50,046
I want to thank you...
177
00:13:50,128 --> 00:13:53,131
for giving me
this wonderful experience...
178
00:13:53,174 --> 00:13:58,136
to contribute to the restoration
of these jewels.
179
00:13:58,220 --> 00:14:02,767
It was, as we say in France,
le top, le best of.
180
00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:05,143
- And what a beautiful...
181
00:14:26,832 --> 00:14:31,295
It's Colonel Chevenix! He's got
a nasty wound, sir. Who hit him?
182
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:34,966
The assailant.
He ran in here.
183
00:14:35,049 --> 00:14:37,510
Bough, you guard the door.
184
00:14:37,593 --> 00:14:41,305
Aha!
185
00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:47,520
For God's sake, Bough, don't come in.
The man's a maniac!
186
00:14:47,603 --> 00:14:51,023
- You don't frighten me!
187
00:14:51,065 --> 00:14:53,317
- Missed!
188
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:26,142
- I've managed to subdue the assailant.
189
00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:30,480
The panic's over.
Everything's under control.
190
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:37,446
Thank you. And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
191
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,406
we should compose ourselves
for the arrival of Her Majesty...
192
00:15:40,490 --> 00:15:43,701
and return to the site
of our great nation's...
193
00:15:43,785 --> 00:15:48,247
magnificently restored
Crown Jewels.
194
00:15:52,502 --> 00:15:54,545
I know.
I feel it too.
195
00:15:54,588 --> 00:15:57,089
The very symbols
of our island nation,
196
00:15:57,174 --> 00:16:01,094
so close we could almost
reach out and...
197
00:16:01,178 --> 00:16:06,767
- Pray silence
for Her Majesty the Queen.
198
00:16:06,849 --> 00:16:09,937
Oh, where are the jewels?
199
00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:12,688
It's an unmitigated disaster, English.
200
00:16:12,731 --> 00:16:15,274
I couldn't agree more, sir.
201
00:16:15,359 --> 00:16:19,154
Well, we need to get these
jewels back, English, and fast.
202
00:16:21,989 --> 00:16:27,287
Tell me about this assailant.
When they searched the room,
there was no sign of him.
203
00:16:27,371 --> 00:16:30,290
Well, the man was clearly
a professional.
204
00:16:30,374 --> 00:16:33,585
He must have escaped while
the queen was being sedated.
205
00:16:33,669 --> 00:16:36,755
But he's the only lead we've got.
We have to find him.
206
00:16:36,797 --> 00:16:40,968
Come in. This is...
This is Roger from Data Support.
207
00:16:41,051 --> 00:16:44,221
Please sit down. He'll produce
a likeness based on your description.
208
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,766
So tell us,
what did this man look like?
209
00:16:47,808 --> 00:16:50,936
Um... well...
210
00:16:51,019 --> 00:16:54,273
he was... big.
211
00:16:54,356 --> 00:17:00,446
- Hair color?
- Um... orange.
212
00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:03,657
- Orange?
- Mmm. And curly.
213
00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:07,119
Well, frizzy, actually.
Frizzy sort of thing.
214
00:17:07,162 --> 00:17:10,165
- Frizzy.
- An eye patch.
215
00:17:10,247 --> 00:17:13,917
Broken nose.
Very few teeth.
216
00:17:14,002 --> 00:17:16,336
Two, I would say,
at the most.
217
00:17:16,378 --> 00:17:19,840
And a scar on his cheek...
218
00:17:19,883 --> 00:17:24,344
in the shape... of a banana.
219
00:17:24,386 --> 00:17:28,474
- Which cheek?
- Both cheeks.
220
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:31,436
They sort of met
in the middle.
221
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,653
Are you sure
about this, English?
222
00:17:41,738 --> 00:17:46,284
Oh, yes, that's him.
An uncanny resemblance.
223
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:50,704
Why, it's just as if
he's in the room with us.
224
00:17:55,585 --> 00:18:00,964
Wow! Look at this, sir.
Got all the bells and whistles.
225
00:18:01,049 --> 00:18:04,010
Never mind about the gadgets.
Just focus on the case.
226
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:14,269
Oh, uh...
227
00:18:19,108 --> 00:18:22,862
Good morning, gentlemen.
Thank you very much for waiting.
228
00:18:22,946 --> 00:18:27,407
Now, the question that faces us
this morning is a simple one.
229
00:18:27,492 --> 00:18:32,080
Namely, how did the thieves gain access
to this highly secure environment...
230
00:18:32,163 --> 00:18:35,542
and then escape
with the jewels afterwards?
231
00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:40,588
A simple question, but one
which I believe has a complex answer.
232
00:18:40,672 --> 00:18:43,925
- Actually, sir...
- Uh, please, Bough. My mind is at work.
233
00:18:44,008 --> 00:18:47,053
Now, what you must grasp, gentlemen,
is that the master criminal...
234
00:18:47,095 --> 00:18:51,516
sees not a room
but a series of opportunities.
235
00:18:51,599 --> 00:18:53,935
Should I go in
through the window?
236
00:18:54,018 --> 00:18:56,062
Possibly.
237
00:18:56,104 --> 00:19:00,692
- Should I drop down from the ceiling?
- Actually, sir...
238
00:19:00,775 --> 00:19:04,696
There's one thing I think
we can be fairly confident about,
239
00:19:04,779 --> 00:19:07,407
that is that they didn't
come up through the floor...
240
00:19:07,490 --> 00:19:09,742
I've got you, sir.
241
00:19:09,784 --> 00:19:12,580
That's all right.
Just come my way, Bough.
242
00:19:12,662 --> 00:19:16,459
- That'll bring me
right over the hole, sir.
- There's no need to panic.
243
00:19:19,794 --> 00:19:22,088
Can you see
the bottom yet, Bough?
244
00:19:22,173 --> 00:19:25,134
Not yet, sir. The shaft
appears to be narrowing.
245
00:19:25,216 --> 00:19:28,219
I'm just a little bit worried
I might get stuck.
246
00:19:28,304 --> 00:19:31,973
Trust me, Bough. You won't
get stuck if you just keep moving.
247
00:19:32,016 --> 00:19:35,478
Yes, sir.
248
00:19:37,228 --> 00:19:38,564
I'm okay, sir.
249
00:19:38,646 --> 00:19:41,107
Are you at the bottom
now, Bough?
250
00:19:41,150 --> 00:19:43,736
No, I am in fact
stuck now, sir.
251
00:19:43,818 --> 00:19:47,573
Oh, for God's sake, Bough.
Stay there! I'm coming down.
252
00:19:47,655 --> 00:19:50,868
Uh, I'm not especially sure
that's a good idea, sir.
253
00:19:50,993 --> 00:19:53,828
Don't worry.
254
00:19:53,871 --> 00:19:56,415
Be careful, sir!
255
00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:02,253
Gently does it.
256
00:20:02,338 --> 00:20:05,049
- Sir?
257
00:20:09,345 --> 00:20:12,306
- Are you all right, sir?
- Yes. I landed on something quite soft.
258
00:20:12,348 --> 00:20:15,142
- That was me, sir.
- Oh, good.
259
00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,646
What now?
260
00:20:18,686 --> 00:20:21,607
There's no way back
up there, that's for sure.
261
00:20:21,689 --> 00:20:23,776
But this must lead
somewhere.
262
00:20:23,859 --> 00:20:25,986
I'm slightly uncomfortable
in the dark, sir.
263
00:20:26,070 --> 00:20:28,322
There's nothing
to worry about, Bough.
264
00:20:28,405 --> 00:20:32,493
- It may be pitch black,
but we can still see.
- Can we, sir? How?
265
00:20:32,576 --> 00:20:35,371
The Bedouin monks of
the Al Maghreb mountains...
266
00:20:35,454 --> 00:20:37,873
developed a system
of sonic chanting.
267
00:20:37,957 --> 00:20:40,709
- I see, sir.
- The sound of their chanting...
268
00:20:40,793 --> 00:20:43,045
would bounce back
off any obstacles,
269
00:20:43,130 --> 00:20:44,505
and using their
highly tuned ears...
270
00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:47,383
they could paint a mental picture
of the path ahead.
271
00:20:47,424 --> 00:20:51,679
- Brilliant, sir.
- However, you must always
sing in E-flat.
272
00:20:54,348 --> 00:20:58,811
E-flat, E-flat, E-flat
273
00:20:58,894 --> 00:21:03,816
Thank you for the music
The songs I'm singing
274
00:21:03,899 --> 00:21:06,110
- Is it working, sir?
- Extremely well, thank you, Bough.
275
00:21:06,153 --> 00:21:08,697
Thanks for all
the joy that...
276
00:21:08,737 --> 00:21:10,114
- Ow!
277
00:21:10,157 --> 00:21:13,702
You all right, sir? I think
I can see something, sir.
278
00:21:13,742 --> 00:21:16,912
Oh, yeah. Come on.
279
00:21:35,931 --> 00:21:38,018
Here is the long one.
280
00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:40,227
It is a long one.
281
00:21:40,270 --> 00:21:42,314
Careful.
282
00:21:47,152 --> 00:21:49,528
- I knew it.
- Shall we call for backup, sir?
283
00:21:49,613 --> 00:21:53,575
What? And watch some fat-bottomed
bobby make our arrest for us?
284
00:21:53,657 --> 00:21:55,659
I don't think so.
285
00:21:57,871 --> 00:22:02,417
Good morning, gentlemen.
Ml7 at your service.
286
00:22:02,459 --> 00:22:07,422
Observe, Bough, the dull
incompetence of the criminal mind.
287
00:22:07,506 --> 00:22:11,760
It can never hope to match
our level of technical expertise.
288
00:22:59,516 --> 00:23:03,146
- You've got it.
- What do we do now, sir?
289
00:23:03,186 --> 00:23:05,273
Watch and learn, Bough.
290
00:23:09,444 --> 00:23:13,488
- They're too far ahead of us.
- Have faith, Bough.
They're heading south.
291
00:23:22,372 --> 00:23:25,126
- There they are, sir!
- Just as I thought.
292
00:23:28,713 --> 00:23:32,550
- Hang on tight, Bough.
293
00:23:39,307 --> 00:23:42,809
- We're never gonna catch them in this.
294
00:23:42,894 --> 00:23:45,855
- Take the wheel, Bough.
I'm getting in the Aston.
- Sir?
295
00:23:49,065 --> 00:23:52,360
Change places, Bough.
I'm getting out the other side.
296
00:23:52,403 --> 00:23:54,197
Sir?
297
00:24:15,676 --> 00:24:16,929
Set, Bough.
Take me up.
298
00:24:25,978 --> 00:24:28,689
Swing me out, Bough!
299
00:24:32,527 --> 00:24:36,072
- Whoa.
- Down.
300
00:24:40,785 --> 00:24:43,329
- Up! Up!
301
00:24:46,207 --> 00:24:49,210
Sorry!
302
00:24:51,462 --> 00:24:53,549
Bough, pull out!
303
00:24:58,971 --> 00:25:01,931
Ow! Ow!
304
00:25:03,142 --> 00:25:06,018
Those idiots
are right behind us. Faster!
305
00:25:29,543 --> 00:25:31,712
Uh-huh.
306
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:59,031
Drop me here, Bough!
307
00:26:02,242 --> 00:26:05,788
Ow! Oh.
308
00:26:05,871 --> 00:26:09,166
No! No! No!
309
00:26:09,249 --> 00:26:11,710
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
310
00:26:48,497 --> 00:26:51,543
They're turning into
the Brompton Cemetery.
311
00:26:51,625 --> 00:26:55,170
Get here as soon as you can.
I'm going in.
312
00:27:02,469 --> 00:27:06,932
In a wheelchair. But Geoffrey
overcame these terrible disabilities...
313
00:27:07,016 --> 00:27:10,936
with that simple resilience
and sunny optimism...
314
00:27:10,979 --> 00:27:14,232
that so warmed
all of us who knew him,
315
00:27:14,274 --> 00:27:16,775
spending the rest of his life
in the service...
316
00:27:16,818 --> 00:27:19,863
of the poor and disabled
of this parish.
317
00:27:19,946 --> 00:27:24,117
It's very good.
Really very good.
318
00:27:24,199 --> 00:27:26,953
No, no, please go on.
I'm sorry to interrupt.
319
00:27:27,036 --> 00:27:29,621
- It's very entertaining.
- Who's that?
320
00:27:29,664 --> 00:27:32,916
That priest act of yours should keep the
other prisoners entertained for hours.
321
00:27:34,335 --> 00:27:37,338
Oh, I'm so sorry. Where are
my manners? Johnny English,
322
00:27:37,380 --> 00:27:41,468
British Secret Service,
and you are all under arrest.
323
00:27:41,551 --> 00:27:43,261
I must say you've done
this whole thing very well.
324
00:27:43,303 --> 00:27:46,930
The attention to detail
is excellent.
325
00:27:47,015 --> 00:27:50,226
You, the grieving granny,
you're very convincing.
326
00:27:50,310 --> 00:27:54,439
Oh, look. Real tears.
Do you get paid extra for that?
327
00:27:54,646 --> 00:27:58,443
Ahh, what
we're all here for.
328
00:27:58,485 --> 00:28:02,071
I know! Why don't we
take a look inside?
329
00:28:02,155 --> 00:28:06,910
- Oh, you've nailed it down!
330
00:28:06,993 --> 00:28:09,454
Why would you do that?
331
00:28:09,496 --> 00:28:14,501
I know you're gonna come back
in two weeks and dig it up again.
332
00:28:17,087 --> 00:28:22,175
Now, what are you playing in this
little vignette of deceit and villainy?
333
00:28:22,258 --> 00:28:24,135
I'm the hearse driver.
334
00:28:24,177 --> 00:28:27,263
- You're the hearse driver?
- Yes, sir.
335
00:28:29,599 --> 00:28:31,851
- You're the hearse driver?
- Yes, sir.
336
00:28:31,935 --> 00:28:34,980
Ah! Aha!
337
00:28:35,021 --> 00:28:38,483
There you are... Gunther.
338
00:28:38,566 --> 00:28:42,988
Uh, I do hope he hasn't
made a nuisance of himself...
339
00:28:43,196 --> 00:28:46,616
I'm Doctor, um...
340
00:28:49,077 --> 00:28:53,707
Bough, of the Lunatic
Response Unit.
341
00:28:53,790 --> 00:28:57,962
I'm afraid Gunther here wasn't
supposed to be released until 2028.
342
00:28:58,044 --> 00:29:00,840
Isn't that right, Gunther?
343
00:29:00,922 --> 00:29:05,010
Yes, yes, there's been
the most monumental cock-up.
344
00:29:05,468 --> 00:29:10,015
Um, if you'll excuse me,
with the deepest respect,
345
00:29:10,099 --> 00:29:12,475
utmost sympathy.
346
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:15,229
Uh, he hasn't urinated
on anyone, has he?
347
00:29:15,312 --> 00:29:17,148
- No.
- No, no.
348
00:29:17,231 --> 00:29:21,527
That's a blessing. Are you
gonna give me the gun, Gunther?
349
00:29:27,283 --> 00:29:31,036
There. That wasn't
too difficult, was it?
350
00:29:31,078 --> 00:29:35,332
- Are you going to come home now?
351
00:29:40,129 --> 00:29:44,758
Oh... in the van!
Yes, we are going in the van.
352
00:29:44,842 --> 00:29:47,261
Yes, yes.
Vroom, vroom.
353
00:29:47,344 --> 00:29:50,556
- Vroom, vroom. Vroom, vroom.
- Yes. Yeah.
354
00:29:50,639 --> 00:29:55,227
- Yes. He's waving good-bye.
Good-bye, everyone.
355
00:29:55,269 --> 00:29:57,688
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye, Gunther.
356
00:29:57,772 --> 00:30:00,650
Mind the nice dead people.
There we go.
357
00:30:05,821 --> 00:30:10,034
Oh, we'll just go to the path
here. There. Big step.
358
00:30:10,117 --> 00:30:13,537
It's a graveyard. It's
where they bring people...
359
00:30:13,621 --> 00:30:15,331
Yes, all right.
You can stop now.
360
00:30:15,373 --> 00:30:19,795
- For appearances,
I'll just hold your arm.
- Just keep walking.
361
00:30:19,877 --> 00:30:22,338
In fact, run, run, run!
362
00:30:28,386 --> 00:30:32,265
I can't believe
I've done this.
363
00:30:32,306 --> 00:30:36,602
I mean, I really
cannot believe I've done this!
364
00:30:40,982 --> 00:30:44,402
You see, 200 years ago,
365
00:30:44,485 --> 00:30:49,490
my family should have inherited
the throne of England,
366
00:30:49,573 --> 00:30:52,493
but they were cast aside.
367
00:30:52,536 --> 00:30:55,956
Well, in a few
very short days,
368
00:30:55,997 --> 00:30:59,251
it will be back
where it belongs.
369
00:31:02,003 --> 00:31:04,630
With me.
370
00:31:04,714 --> 00:31:10,303
Shall I try it on?
Yes? No? Maybe?
371
00:31:10,846 --> 00:31:14,473
To make you king, we need
the archbishop of Canterbury to do that.
372
00:31:14,516 --> 00:31:16,685
The archbishop of Canterbury...
373
00:31:16,767 --> 00:31:20,814
is being taken care of
even as we speak.
TARGET ACQUI RED
374
00:31:20,896 --> 00:31:24,151
TARGET LOCKED
375
00:31:33,034 --> 00:31:36,997
There's only one thing, sir.
What are we going to do about English?
376
00:31:39,875 --> 00:31:43,962
If I were you, I wouldn't worry
too much about English.
377
00:31:44,045 --> 00:31:47,799
He is no threat to us.
I had his flat bugged.
378
00:32:15,244 --> 00:32:18,872
Clearly, the aptly named
English is a fool.
379
00:32:18,914 --> 00:32:22,584
He might be a fool, but he's
a fool who keeps showing up.
380
00:32:22,668 --> 00:32:26,755
Well, the next time
he shows up,
381
00:32:26,838 --> 00:32:29,007
eliminate him.
382
00:32:29,926 --> 00:32:30,218
Thank you.
383
00:32:30,927 --> 00:32:33,221
Dieter Klein
and Klaus Vendetta, sir.
384
00:32:33,262 --> 00:32:37,891
Released from prison six months ago.
327 convictions between them.
385
00:32:36,934 --> 00:32:40,060
Armed robbery,
grievous bodily harm...
386
00:32:40,143 --> 00:32:42,604
and combined parking fines
of more than 400...
387
00:32:42,647 --> 00:32:45,233
Uh, yes, all right. Thank you, Bough.
I think we get the picture.
388
00:32:45,942 --> 00:32:49,027
The point is, sir,
that Vendetta and Klein...
389
00:32:49,112 --> 00:32:52,614
are both in the employ
of Monsieur Sauvage.
390
00:32:52,698 --> 00:32:55,867
- Pascal Sauvage?
- Precisely, sir.
391
00:32:55,952 --> 00:32:58,788
But you're not suggesting
Sauvage is involved?
392
00:32:58,870 --> 00:33:01,082
I think he's more
than just involved, sir.
393
00:33:01,124 --> 00:33:03,625
I'm convinced he's
up to his French neck in it.
394
00:33:03,668 --> 00:33:07,255
Don't be absurd. Sauvage
employs thousands of people.
395
00:33:07,296 --> 00:33:09,924
Just because two of them
are villains doesn't mean that he is.
396
00:33:09,966 --> 00:33:13,760
I want him discounted from this
investigation immediately.
397
00:33:13,845 --> 00:33:15,847
Yes, sir.
398
00:33:19,225 --> 00:33:24,397
All right. Tonight I shall be
at Sauvage's reception
for the new French ambassador.
399
00:33:24,479 --> 00:33:26,441
Any developments,
you can reach me there.
400
00:33:26,481 --> 00:33:30,903
Apart from that, I don't want you
within a hundred miles of the man.
401
00:33:30,987 --> 00:33:32,989
Absolutely, sir.
402
00:33:33,489 --> 00:33:37,160
Requisition order: Ml7 quartermasters
for immediate supply;
403
00:33:37,243 --> 00:33:41,414
one military transport plane,
fully fueled, with permission
for nighttime city over flight;
404
00:33:41,497 --> 00:33:46,127
two night camouflage parachutes,
plus reserves, plus neoprene
bodysuits, twice, in black.
405
00:33:46,211 --> 00:33:48,504
I've never liked the navy blue.
406
00:33:48,588 --> 00:33:51,633
And a 40-inch chest for me
'cause I need the sleeve length.
407
00:33:51,674 --> 00:33:53,593
- Morning, Felch.
- Morning.
408
00:33:53,676 --> 00:33:56,137
Oh, and two Special Forces
signet rings,
409
00:33:56,221 --> 00:33:57,972
primed and color-coded.
410
00:33:58,014 --> 00:34:00,683
- What's all this for?
- For tonight's operation.
411
00:34:00,725 --> 00:34:03,645
We're going to break into
Sauvage's headquarters.
412
00:34:03,686 --> 00:34:05,730
- But Pegasus said...
- Let me worry about Pegasus.
413
00:34:05,773 --> 00:34:10,860
I know that Sauvage
is behind all this, and tonight
we're going to get the evidence.
414
00:34:10,944 --> 00:34:14,364
- Is something wrong, sir?
- Did that sound like Felch to you?
415
00:34:43,601 --> 00:34:46,855
Bough...
416
00:35:01,245 --> 00:35:03,580
You, upstairs.
417
00:35:18,262 --> 00:35:20,264
Ow.
418
00:35:52,546 --> 00:35:54,757
Can you see him, Bough?
419
00:35:54,798 --> 00:35:58,052
He's on the upper level, sir.
420
00:36:03,641 --> 00:36:05,643
Got him.
421
00:36:11,857 --> 00:36:16,153
And like a coiled viper...
he strikes.
422
00:36:25,497 --> 00:36:28,666
So what you're saying, sir,
is there must have been two of them?
423
00:36:28,749 --> 00:36:31,085
Oh, at least, Bough.
Possibly four.
424
00:36:31,168 --> 00:36:32,629
I wonder why
I didn't see them.
425
00:36:32,670 --> 00:36:34,798
You mustn't dwell
on your mistakes.
426
00:36:34,839 --> 00:36:39,260
- You must learn from them, then move on.
- Yes, sir.
427
00:36:39,344 --> 00:36:43,348
- So where were you, sir?
- Just drop it, Bough!
428
00:36:47,434 --> 00:36:51,064
- Aah! What is it, sir?
- That bike.
429
00:36:52,565 --> 00:36:55,568
You get things
sorted out for tonight.
430
00:37:10,583 --> 00:37:13,545
Well, well, we meet again.
431
00:37:13,586 --> 00:37:16,214
Mr. English.
What a pleasant surprise.
432
00:37:16,297 --> 00:37:18,467
I wondered when
you might show up again.
433
00:37:18,550 --> 00:37:23,138
On the contrary, Miss Campbell. It is
not I who keeps showing up. It's you.
434
00:37:23,221 --> 00:37:25,682
Do you like sushi?
435
00:37:25,766 --> 00:37:27,809
Hmm?
436
00:37:29,269 --> 00:37:32,981
Oh, sushi! I practically
live off the stuff.
437
00:37:33,064 --> 00:37:36,985
You might say the mysteries
of the Orient are no mystery to me.
438
00:37:45,911 --> 00:37:49,915
- Sake?
- Ah. Sake.
439
00:37:50,916 --> 00:37:53,043
Cheers.
440
00:37:53,084 --> 00:37:58,465
May all your daughters
be born with three bottoms.
441
00:38:05,514 --> 00:38:08,476
Now then, perhaps
you can explain how it is...
442
00:38:08,517 --> 00:38:11,061
that I run into you
at two crime scenes...
443
00:38:11,103 --> 00:38:15,565
and then can't find any record of you
on a single government computer.
444
00:38:15,608 --> 00:38:18,235
Shouldn't you ask
the government that?
445
00:38:18,318 --> 00:38:20,987
I am the government
and I'm asking you.
446
00:38:24,991 --> 00:38:26,868
Let me.
447
00:38:28,329 --> 00:38:30,956
Mmm. You're brave.
448
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,251
They say that sea urchin's
the ultimate acquired taste.
449
00:38:34,292 --> 00:38:38,130
Hmm. It's a personal
favorite of mine.
450
00:38:42,635 --> 00:38:46,472
I think people are put off
by how it feeds through its bottom.
451
00:38:46,555 --> 00:38:48,933
Would you excuse me
for a moment?
452
00:39:08,661 --> 00:39:11,748
Excuse me. Sorry. I'm from Ml7.
Sorry. I'm a secret agent.
453
00:39:30,767 --> 00:39:33,811
- Everything set, Bough?
- Just about, sir.
454
00:39:33,895 --> 00:39:38,191
Actually, sir, do you mind if I
run through the plan one more time?
455
00:39:38,274 --> 00:39:40,610
- No, no.
- These are the two buildings here.
456
00:39:40,693 --> 00:39:45,323
This one is our target, Sauvage's
headquarters, next to City Hospital.
457
00:39:45,406 --> 00:39:48,785
I jump first and land
on the south side of the roof,
458
00:39:48,868 --> 00:39:52,163
abseil down 14 floors and
cut through this window here.
459
00:39:52,205 --> 00:39:56,209
I then land on the east side
and abseil down 12 floors.
460
00:39:56,292 --> 00:39:59,003
Where you wait for my signal
that I've disabled the alarm system.
461
00:39:59,045 --> 00:40:01,839
- Yes.
- You them break into this window here,
462
00:40:01,881 --> 00:40:05,177
work your way along the secure corridor
and penetrate Sauvage's office.
463
00:40:05,218 --> 00:40:07,845
- Yes, yes.
- Is that okay, sir?
464
00:40:07,888 --> 00:40:11,475
It's been okay ever since
I thought up the idea, Bough.
465
00:40:15,896 --> 00:40:18,899
Oh, I nearly forgot, sir.
Your laser beacon.
466
00:40:18,981 --> 00:40:22,027
- My what?
- Your laser beacon!
467
00:40:22,110 --> 00:40:24,862
It'll guide you
onto Sauvage's building.
468
00:40:24,905 --> 00:40:28,408
Your dependence on hardware
really does amuse me, Bough.
469
00:40:28,492 --> 00:40:31,369
I've been dropped
into the Kalahari Desert...
470
00:40:31,411 --> 00:40:35,998
carrying nothing more than a toothbrush
and a packet of sherbet lemons,
471
00:40:36,082 --> 00:40:40,378
and I still found my way
to Bulawayo before Ramadan.
472
00:40:40,462 --> 00:40:44,466
So thank you, Bough,
but no thank you.
473
00:40:47,427 --> 00:40:49,930
- Bough, go!
474
00:40:49,971 --> 00:40:52,557
Geronimo!
475
00:41:19,460 --> 00:41:24,173
- Fandango!
476
00:41:46,195 --> 00:41:50,741
Ugh! Ai-yi-yi.
477
00:41:55,829 --> 00:41:58,207
Right.
478
00:42:13,764 --> 00:42:17,310
- Alarm's disabled, sir.
479
00:42:17,393 --> 00:42:19,395
Roger that, Bough.
480
00:42:56,933 --> 00:42:59,977
This is worse
than I thought, Bough.
481
00:43:00,061 --> 00:43:04,232
Sauvage has got some kind
of laboratory set up here.
482
00:43:04,316 --> 00:43:07,527
God knows what kind
of sick operation he's running.
483
00:43:20,582 --> 00:43:23,417
My God, what
have they done to you?
484
00:43:23,501 --> 00:43:26,838
They've taken
some of my blood.
485
00:43:26,921 --> 00:43:30,508
- Bastards!
- It's only for tests.
486
00:43:30,592 --> 00:43:33,427
Of course it is.
Come on, my friend.
487
00:43:33,511 --> 00:43:36,723
Let's get you out of here
before they take anything else.
488
00:43:44,981 --> 00:43:49,235
Ah! Good evening,
Dr. Frankenstein.
489
00:43:49,277 --> 00:43:51,404
This way, please.
490
00:43:51,488 --> 00:43:54,407
Come on.
I haven't got all night.
491
00:43:54,450 --> 00:43:57,453
And you,
you angels of death.
492
00:43:57,535 --> 00:44:00,288
About turn.
Come on, let's go.
493
00:44:00,372 --> 00:44:02,749
Come on, come on.
Keep moving.
494
00:44:02,791 --> 00:44:06,378
Come on. Over there. I know
what you're doing here. And you.
495
00:44:06,462 --> 00:44:09,631
Come on. Quicker. Quicker.
Over there.
496
00:44:11,132 --> 00:44:13,510
Now then,
497
00:44:13,551 --> 00:44:17,222
perhaps you could direct me
to your evil paymaster.
498
00:44:17,306 --> 00:44:21,810
- What are you talking about?
- You know exactly
what I'm talking about.
499
00:44:21,894 --> 00:44:25,939
Where is the office
of Pascal Sauvage?
500
00:44:50,881 --> 00:44:54,010
Are you coming over here
in a minute, sir?
501
00:44:56,345 --> 00:44:58,180
I'm from Ml7.
502
00:44:58,263 --> 00:45:01,266
This has been a test of your
emergency response systems,
503
00:45:01,350 --> 00:45:04,603
and I have to say
you've all done extremely well.
504
00:45:04,686 --> 00:45:06,814
Right.
Well, I'll leave you to it.
505
00:45:06,856 --> 00:45:10,067
And, uh, get well soon.
506
00:45:15,615 --> 00:45:19,910
Oh, God!
507
00:45:38,638 --> 00:45:40,973
Sir. Sir.
508
00:45:47,813 --> 00:45:51,233
Did you just land
on the wrong building?
509
00:45:51,317 --> 00:45:55,237
I did a precautionary sweep
of the immediate environment.
510
00:45:55,321 --> 00:45:57,406
Right.
511
00:45:58,616 --> 00:46:01,077
- And everything was fine.
- Good.
512
00:46:01,161 --> 00:46:03,371
Okay, let's go.
513
00:46:07,333 --> 00:46:11,963
I will be downstairs
at the reception...
514
00:46:20,138 --> 00:46:24,100
- That's far enough.
- Well, good evening.
515
00:46:24,184 --> 00:46:27,395
- Perhaps you'd like this as well.
- What is it?
516
00:46:27,479 --> 00:46:30,356
- Let me show you.
- Aah!
517
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:32,942
Well executed, Bough,
but completely redundant.
518
00:46:33,026 --> 00:46:36,237
- How do you mean, sir?
- Super-strength muscle relaxant.
519
00:46:36,321 --> 00:46:39,783
When he wakes up, he'll be
as floppy as a damp old sock.
520
00:46:45,955 --> 00:46:47,832
What's this?
521
00:47:02,472 --> 00:47:06,100
That's the face of
the archbishop of Canterbury.
522
00:47:09,354 --> 00:47:12,190
What are they doing?
523
00:47:15,903 --> 00:47:19,573
What's this got to do
with the Crown Jewels?
524
00:47:41,511 --> 00:47:43,597
Bough.
525
00:48:01,282 --> 00:48:03,325
English.
526
00:48:03,408 --> 00:48:05,661
A people whose empire
once covered...
527
00:48:05,703 --> 00:48:09,539
one quarter of the surface
of the earth.
528
00:48:09,582 --> 00:48:12,334
Alas, no longer.
529
00:48:12,376 --> 00:48:15,671
My friends ask me, "Pascal,
how can you be so interested...
530
00:48:15,754 --> 00:48:19,383
in such a backward,
grotty little country?"
531
00:48:19,425 --> 00:48:22,970
My answer is simple:
The queen.
532
00:48:23,053 --> 00:48:26,974
The queen has more power
in her tiny white gloves...
533
00:48:27,057 --> 00:48:30,686
than any other head of state
in the entire world.
534
00:48:30,728 --> 00:48:33,147
She can declare war
or make peace,
535
00:48:33,230 --> 00:48:35,567
and most intriguingly...
536
00:48:35,649 --> 00:48:40,572
she can seize any piece of land
which takes her fancy.
537
00:48:40,613 --> 00:48:43,365
Of course,
the queen never uses...
538
00:48:43,407 --> 00:48:47,369
the enormous power
afforded to her.
539
00:48:47,453 --> 00:48:52,166
But imagine someone
who would use that power.
540
00:48:52,249 --> 00:48:55,920
Imagine, say, me.
541
00:48:56,004 --> 00:49:00,216
But how could he do that, sir?
How could he make himself king?
542
00:49:00,300 --> 00:49:02,510
The archbishop.
543
00:49:12,145 --> 00:49:14,230
Ow.
544
00:49:15,523 --> 00:49:19,193
Hands up.
There's a good fellow.
545
00:49:19,277 --> 00:49:21,070
Heavily armed for a late night
at the office.
546
00:49:21,154 --> 00:49:25,700
You fool, English. You'll never
get out of the building alive.
547
00:49:25,783 --> 00:49:28,077
I'd save your breath
for my questioning.
548
00:49:28,119 --> 00:49:30,121
I'm not telling you
anything.
549
00:49:30,163 --> 00:49:31,915
Incorrect.
550
00:49:33,208 --> 00:49:35,127
Sodium pentothal.
551
00:49:35,210 --> 00:49:38,755
- I won't lie to you. It's a truth serum.
552
00:49:38,839 --> 00:49:43,593
Now then, why does Sauvage
want to have himself crowned?
553
00:49:43,635 --> 00:49:46,971
You have no idea
what's going on here, do you?
554
00:49:47,055 --> 00:49:50,225
It would be funny
if it wasn't so "pablibblit."
555
00:49:50,308 --> 00:49:51,643
What?
556
00:49:58,524 --> 00:50:00,986
- He's talking gibberish, sir.
- I can hear that.
557
00:50:03,155 --> 00:50:06,158
- He's collapsed onto me, sir.
- I can see that.
558
00:50:06,241 --> 00:50:09,661
- You don't think you could've
got the syringes mixed up?
- What?
559
00:50:09,744 --> 00:50:12,747
Given the guard outside truth serum
and given Klein the muscle relaxant?
560
00:50:12,832 --> 00:50:14,791
Aah!
561
00:50:14,875 --> 00:50:19,421
Don't be ridiculous, Bough.
I think I know my right from my left.
562
00:50:19,504 --> 00:50:22,591
- Sir?
- Oh, bugger it.
563
00:50:24,176 --> 00:50:26,262
Bough, take "flodd."
564
00:50:26,344 --> 00:50:30,474
- Take what, sir?
- "Flodd." "Schlage."
565
00:50:30,515 --> 00:50:34,019
- I'm not quite getting
that second word, sir.
- "Schlaaaagh!"
566
00:50:34,102 --> 00:50:36,146
- Write it down, sir.
- "Schlaaaagh!"
567
00:50:36,188 --> 00:50:39,316
Yes!
568
00:50:40,693 --> 00:50:43,279
"C." C-A... Uh...
569
00:50:43,361 --> 00:50:47,283
Car! Take the car!
We came by plane.
570
00:50:47,365 --> 00:50:50,202
Bugger off!
571
00:50:50,286 --> 00:50:52,621
- Hold it right there.
572
00:50:52,705 --> 00:50:56,208
- What's wrong with them?
- I'm not telling you.
573
00:50:56,292 --> 00:50:59,211
Wrong answer.
574
00:50:59,295 --> 00:51:01,547
What is it with you two?
575
00:51:01,630 --> 00:51:03,965
Huh?
576
00:51:05,383 --> 00:51:07,136
Let's get outta here.
577
00:51:07,219 --> 00:51:09,180
Sorry, but who are you,
exactly?
578
00:51:09,263 --> 00:51:12,016
Special Agent Campbell.
I'm attached to Interpol in Paris.
579
00:51:12,057 --> 00:51:14,351
We've been watching Sauvage
for months.
580
00:51:14,435 --> 00:51:16,478
Why?
581
00:51:16,562 --> 00:51:19,732
Because every major convict released
from a Sauvage prison in six months...
582
00:51:19,815 --> 00:51:22,067
has been employed
by one of his companies.
583
00:51:22,151 --> 00:51:24,653
We believe he's recruiting them
for a major criminal conspiracy.
584
00:51:24,737 --> 00:51:27,406
- We just don't know what yet.
585
00:51:28,782 --> 00:51:31,076
- What did he say?
- Pegasus!
586
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:33,537
We have to report
to Pegasus!
587
00:51:33,621 --> 00:51:35,706
Oh, no, sir.
No, no, no.
588
00:51:35,748 --> 00:51:38,876
- How do we get out of here?
- Hey, you two!
589
00:51:38,959 --> 00:51:41,754
What you did to me
really hurt.
590
00:51:41,838 --> 00:51:46,259
Yeah. Sorry about that. How do we
get out of here without being seen?
591
00:51:46,342 --> 00:51:49,178
Okay.
592
00:51:49,262 --> 00:51:53,098
Left by the fountain, right by the fire
exit, to the elevator at the end.
593
00:51:53,182 --> 00:51:55,601
- Thank you.
- Oh, my God.
594
00:51:55,685 --> 00:51:57,436
Nice job, Bough.
595
00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:00,439
- Left, sir. Left!
596
00:52:00,523 --> 00:52:03,609
Sir, you can't go
to Sauvage's reception in this state.
597
00:52:03,693 --> 00:52:06,612
The effect of the drug
has practically worn off.
598
00:52:06,696 --> 00:52:08,698
I'm "fline"...
599
00:52:08,781 --> 00:52:11,033
"schline"...
uh, "gline"...
600
00:52:21,128 --> 00:52:23,713
- Monsieur.
- Ah. Thank you.
601
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:30,094
- Would you like another?
- Please.
602
00:52:36,476 --> 00:52:38,311
Thank you.
603
00:52:43,692 --> 00:52:45,902
What in God's name...
604
00:52:45,986 --> 00:52:47,988
Ah, Foreign "Sebretarary."
605
00:52:48,070 --> 00:52:50,615
Um...
606
00:52:51,365 --> 00:52:52,617
Aah!
607
00:52:52,701 --> 00:52:56,078
- Shall we dance?
608
00:53:46,046 --> 00:53:49,133
Excuse me, sir.
I'm very sorry to interrupt...
609
00:53:49,216 --> 00:53:51,343
Pascal, how nice
to see you again.
610
00:53:51,385 --> 00:53:54,012
- Enjoying the party?
- Oh, splendid affair.
611
00:53:54,095 --> 00:53:59,226
I was until I was informed
that your man English...
612
00:53:59,309 --> 00:54:02,312
and his curious boyfriend here
have spent the evening...
613
00:54:02,396 --> 00:54:05,899
breaking into my office
and assaulting my staff.
614
00:54:05,983 --> 00:54:09,278
- Is this true, Bough?
- Well, we... we...
615
00:54:19,746 --> 00:54:22,040
What do you think
you're up to?
616
00:54:22,082 --> 00:54:25,002
- Sir, if I could just offer...
- Go home, Bough!
617
00:54:25,085 --> 00:54:26,879
Now!
618
00:54:26,963 --> 00:54:29,590
I gave you direct orders
not to meddle with Sauvage.
619
00:54:29,674 --> 00:54:33,136
What do you do? Break into his office
and assault two of his staff.
620
00:54:33,261 --> 00:54:37,682
Then you march in here,
loaded with God knows what,
and insult the foreign secretary.
621
00:54:37,764 --> 00:54:40,560
I haven't encountered such
behavior in Whitehall in 30 years.
622
00:54:40,642 --> 00:54:43,604
- But...
- There are no "buts," English.
623
00:54:43,645 --> 00:54:47,275
You're off the case. Your security
clearance is hereby canceled.
624
00:54:47,357 --> 00:54:50,736
After a three-month leave of absence,
you will return at your old grade.
625
00:54:50,820 --> 00:54:53,948
And I hope never
to hear your name again.
626
00:55:46,751 --> 00:55:49,170
English has seen too much.
627
00:55:49,254 --> 00:55:51,756
We go to plan "B."
628
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:54,300
Get rid of
the fake archbishop...
629
00:55:54,342 --> 00:55:57,303
and green-light
the visit to Her Majesty.
630
00:55:57,345 --> 00:56:01,182
Then this pathetic country
can humiliate itself...
631
00:56:01,432 --> 00:56:03,935
by crowning me officially.
632
00:56:15,613 --> 00:56:19,868
THE QUEEN'S RESI DENCE
AT SANDRI NGHAM
633
00:56:30,129 --> 00:56:32,131
That's a letter
of abdication...
634
00:56:32,213 --> 00:56:34,215
renouncing your claims
to the throne...
635
00:56:34,299 --> 00:56:37,386
and the claims
of your entire family.
636
00:56:37,469 --> 00:56:39,471
Sign it.
637
00:56:47,563 --> 00:56:49,606
Never.
638
00:57:00,743 --> 00:57:04,329
- Yes?
639
00:57:04,413 --> 00:57:07,833
Prime Minister, sorry to call so late,
but I'm afraid the queen is abdicating.
640
00:57:07,875 --> 00:57:09,334
What?
641
00:57:09,418 --> 00:57:13,839
Abdicated?
But that's not possible.
642
00:57:13,922 --> 00:57:16,091
I only wish that were true.
643
00:57:16,175 --> 00:57:20,345
- Let me talk to her. Maybe she just...
- Pascal, she's gone.
644
00:57:20,429 --> 00:57:23,140
My people have spent
the last 10 hours...
645
00:57:23,265 --> 00:57:25,726
trying to track down
the rightful heir to the throne...
646
00:57:25,768 --> 00:57:30,189
and they've come up with a name,
which they've double-checked.
647
00:57:30,272 --> 00:57:32,733
Who is it?
648
00:57:32,817 --> 00:57:35,945
- It's you.
- No!
649
00:57:40,324 --> 00:57:43,370
In the wake
of the return of the Crown Jewels...
650
00:57:43,452 --> 00:57:45,538
to a police station
in North London,
651
00:57:45,621 --> 00:57:48,375
Pascal Sauvage has requested
that his coronation...
652
00:57:48,457 --> 00:57:50,960
take place
this Thursday.
653
00:57:51,043 --> 00:57:54,421
In the House, the prime minister said he
was looking forward to the ceremony...
654
00:57:54,463 --> 00:57:57,633
and he believed that Monsieur Sauvage
will make a fine king...
655
00:57:57,716 --> 00:58:02,596
and will bring all that is
best about modern Europe
to our ancient institutions.
656
00:58:10,062 --> 00:58:12,773
Get your car keys.
We've got work to do.
657
00:58:12,816 --> 00:58:15,985
- Miss Campbell.
- Sauvage is heading back to France.
658
00:58:16,068 --> 00:58:20,781
He's invited 13 of
the richest criminal masterminds
in the world to meet him there.
659
00:58:20,824 --> 00:58:23,868
I'm sorry, Miss Campbell.
I'm off the case.
660
00:58:24,577 --> 00:58:25,954
It's been reassigned.
661
00:58:26,036 --> 00:58:28,707
I know.
Reassigned to me.
662
00:58:32,377 --> 00:58:35,088
- I want you with me.
- Just leave me alone.
663
00:58:35,171 --> 00:58:38,967
Are you gonna sit here in this
grotty flat feeling sorry for yourself?
664
00:58:39,049 --> 00:58:42,303
Or are you gonna get out there
and save your country?
665
00:58:43,513 --> 00:58:45,849
I'm gonna sit in the flat.
666
00:58:45,932 --> 00:58:50,020
- Johnny, this is ridiculous.
- I'm a spent force.
667
00:58:51,770 --> 00:58:54,607
Spent, my ass.
668
00:58:59,529 --> 00:59:01,322
Ow.
669
00:59:02,574 --> 00:59:05,076
Will... you...
please... stop?
670
00:59:18,048 --> 00:59:20,091
I'll just be a minute.
671
00:59:39,152 --> 00:59:42,405
NORTHERN FRANCE
672
01:00:05,303 --> 01:00:09,015
It'll be nightfall in an hour.
Then we can strike out for the chateau.
673
01:00:09,100 --> 01:00:12,353
The fact is, the moment Sauvage
gets that crown on his head,
674
01:00:12,435 --> 01:00:15,690
he'll be able to do whatever he likes
with the country that I love,
675
01:00:15,772 --> 01:00:18,483
and that is why you and I
have got to stop him.
676
01:00:20,277 --> 01:00:23,948
- Relishing the thought?
- Something like that.
677
01:00:26,951 --> 01:00:30,663
I suppose you've made love
to lots of women, haven't you, Johnny?
678
01:00:32,456 --> 01:00:37,211
Uh...
Uh, well, you know,
679
01:00:37,294 --> 01:00:39,964
one does one's best.
680
01:00:41,465 --> 01:00:43,259
It's just...
681
01:00:43,341 --> 01:00:48,431
Well, it's been three years
since my fianc← left me,
682
01:00:48,472 --> 01:00:52,310
and since then I haven't
made love to anyone.
683
01:00:52,393 --> 01:00:54,312
But then I met you...
684
01:00:55,646 --> 01:00:58,607
and I felt this...
hunger...
685
01:00:58,691 --> 01:01:00,735
deep down inside.
686
01:01:00,776 --> 01:01:05,239
I wanted to say things to you,
I wanted to do things to you...
687
01:01:05,323 --> 01:01:09,869
that I haven't wanted to do
in a very, very, very long time.
688
01:01:13,873 --> 01:01:16,793
What, uh...
689
01:01:16,834 --> 01:01:19,754
What sort of things
are we talking about?
690
01:01:19,837 --> 01:01:22,757
Things like
punching you in the face,
691
01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:26,177
kicking you in the backside for being
such a pompous, know-nothing asshole.
692
01:01:26,260 --> 01:01:30,598
But then I started to see beyond
the idiot that everybody else saw.
693
01:01:30,681 --> 01:01:33,684
I started to see
the man on the inside...
694
01:01:33,768 --> 01:01:37,940
who was determined to do his duty,
no matter what or who lay in his way.
695
01:01:38,022 --> 01:01:41,944
And I began to feel
other things for him,
696
01:01:42,026 --> 01:01:46,864
to want to do
other things for him.
697
01:01:46,949 --> 01:01:49,450
Things...
698
01:01:49,534 --> 01:01:53,329
involving plastic toys
and soft cheese?
699
01:01:53,372 --> 01:01:58,126
- What?
- What? What?
700
01:01:58,210 --> 01:02:02,631
You're toying with me.
You're telling me to stop in
the gentlest way you know how.
701
01:02:02,713 --> 01:02:04,841
No. N-N-No...
702
01:02:04,882 --> 01:02:06,551
You're such a special person...
703
01:02:06,635 --> 01:02:09,846
not to take advantage of me
while I'm vulnerable.
704
01:02:09,930 --> 01:02:12,516
- N-No... Well...
- So thank you...
705
01:02:12,557 --> 01:02:14,851
for being such a gentleman.
706
01:02:17,396 --> 01:02:19,690
Not at all.
707
01:02:41,253 --> 01:02:44,589
I know what you're thinking,
Miss Campbell.
708
01:02:44,673 --> 01:02:47,551
If we don't pull this off, God knows
what might happen to England.
709
01:02:47,593 --> 01:02:51,013
Actually, I was thinking there must be
a better way in than that pipe.
710
01:02:52,139 --> 01:02:53,640
Well, there isn't.
711
01:02:53,682 --> 01:02:57,394
I've analyzed it from every angle,
and this is the best option.
712
01:02:57,477 --> 01:03:01,273
I'll go in first, and if it's a clear
way through, I'll call down.
713
01:03:02,941 --> 01:03:05,068
Johnny.
714
01:03:05,152 --> 01:03:08,447
- Be careful.
- I'm always careful.
715
01:03:08,530 --> 01:03:10,407
Ohh.
716
01:03:59,832 --> 01:04:02,794
- Gentlemen.
717
01:04:02,835 --> 01:04:04,711
In a few hours time...
718
01:04:04,753 --> 01:04:08,091
I will become
the next king of England.
719
01:04:25,607 --> 01:04:28,111
Oh, no.
720
01:04:43,418 --> 01:04:45,461
Hyah...
721
01:04:45,545 --> 01:04:48,381
- How did you get here?
- Up the ladder.
722
01:04:48,464 --> 01:04:51,009
Pull yourself together.
It's only a bit of poo.
723
01:04:55,221 --> 01:04:58,391
Oh! Oh, it's cold!
It's cold!
724
01:04:58,808 --> 01:05:00,643
What is the one commodity...
725
01:05:00,727 --> 01:05:05,565
the world never seems
to run out of?
726
01:05:05,648 --> 01:05:07,817
Criminals, gentlemen.
727
01:05:07,902 --> 01:05:10,196
- Lawbreakers.
728
01:05:10,236 --> 01:05:14,032
Every nation in the world
struggles...
729
01:05:14,073 --> 01:05:16,868
with the issue
of overcrowded prisons.
730
01:05:16,911 --> 01:05:22,248
So, what do we do
with all these villains?
731
01:05:22,333 --> 01:05:25,376
Find the solution
to that problem...
732
01:05:25,460 --> 01:05:29,839
and the governments of the world
would pay you through their nose.
733
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:34,010
Fortunately,
I have found a solution.
734
01:05:36,262 --> 01:05:40,391
We empty every prison
on the entire planet,
735
01:05:40,433 --> 01:05:45,523
we take the resulting
tidal wave of human scum...
736
01:05:45,605 --> 01:05:48,234
and we put it here.
737
01:05:51,779 --> 01:05:55,281
The moment
I am crowned king,
738
01:05:55,366 --> 01:05:58,077
I will turn England
into the largest prison...
739
01:05:58,159 --> 01:06:01,038
in the history
of the world.
740
01:06:02,288 --> 01:06:05,960
210,000 square miles...
741
01:06:06,043 --> 01:06:08,254
of prime real estate...
742
01:06:08,294 --> 01:06:12,049
conveniently separated
from true civilization...
743
01:06:12,132 --> 01:06:14,385
by 20 miles of ocean...
744
01:06:14,468 --> 01:06:16,719
- and soon to be available...
- Come on.
745
01:06:16,804 --> 01:06:22,725
For the entire world
to dump its human waste in.
746
01:06:22,810 --> 01:06:24,937
According to
current projections,
747
01:06:24,979 --> 01:06:30,943
we will not run out of prison space
for the next 500 years.
748
01:06:30,985 --> 01:06:35,114
So, tonight one,
and only one, of you...
749
01:06:35,155 --> 01:06:40,286
will leave here
owning 49 percent...
750
01:06:40,327 --> 01:06:42,788
of this venture.
751
01:06:42,830 --> 01:06:47,793
So that's his little game.
We must get hold of that DVD.
752
01:06:47,835 --> 01:06:50,963
But how, Johnny?
There's only two of us.
753
01:06:51,046 --> 01:06:53,299
You're young, Miss Campbell,
and inexperienced.
754
01:06:53,382 --> 01:06:55,759
What you seem to
have forgotten is that...
755
01:06:55,843 --> 01:06:59,263
Nobody knows we are here.
756
01:06:59,346 --> 01:07:02,850
At our disposal we have
the vital element of surprise.
757
01:07:02,933 --> 01:07:06,020
Now, my plan is simple
but effective.
758
01:07:06,103 --> 01:07:10,691
I shall drop from the gallery
at this end of the room
and take Sauvage prisoner.
759
01:07:10,774 --> 01:07:15,404
You will then enter from the far door,
cutting off any means of escape.
760
01:07:15,529 --> 01:07:20,951
Then, using Sauvage as a hostage,
we'll get the hell out of here. Clear?
761
01:07:28,460 --> 01:07:30,795
Get 'em up,
you French ponce.
762
01:07:30,878 --> 01:07:35,382
But, Mr. English,
I'm gob smacked!
763
01:07:35,467 --> 01:07:37,968
What an unexpected surprise.
764
01:07:38,053 --> 01:07:41,680
Surprises are very much
my speciality, Sauvage.
765
01:07:42,933 --> 01:07:45,726
I think we've seen
enough of this.
766
01:07:45,811 --> 01:07:52,691
I know exactly what you're planning,
and I'm here to put a stop to it.
767
01:07:52,733 --> 01:07:57,531
My bottom will be king of England
before you are.
768
01:07:57,571 --> 01:07:59,573
Wrong again.
769
01:07:59,658 --> 01:08:02,868
Perhaps you'd care
to look behind you.
770
01:08:01,953 --> 01:08:05,330
Oh, please.
771
01:08:08,415 --> 01:08:10,502
Lorna!
772
01:08:13,295 --> 01:08:15,382
I'm sorry, Johnny.
773
01:08:15,465 --> 01:08:19,386
Well, I'm afraid
that we'll have to...
774
01:08:19,469 --> 01:08:22,222
conclude the floor show
for tonight.
775
01:08:22,264 --> 01:08:24,099
Not so fast, Sauvage.
776
01:08:24,182 --> 01:08:28,687
You may have taken me,
but you'll never take England.
777
01:08:28,770 --> 01:08:31,565
Not as long as I have
breath in my body...
778
01:08:31,648 --> 01:08:33,942
or a bullet in my gun.
779
01:08:43,118 --> 01:08:47,747
You know, Mr. English,
I'm going to miss you. Really.
780
01:08:47,831 --> 01:08:50,083
You're very entertaining.
I thank you.
781
01:08:50,167 --> 01:08:51,835
Take them away.
782
01:08:56,506 --> 01:08:58,258
Good morning, everybody,
783
01:08:58,341 --> 01:09:00,552
and welcome to
the breakfast show.
784
01:09:02,889 --> 01:09:06,141
As the crowds are gathering here for
the crowning of our first French king...
785
01:09:06,224 --> 01:09:08,393
since the year 1066,
786
01:09:08,478 --> 01:09:13,398
call here at London FM with the top ten
things you most love about the French.
787
01:09:13,483 --> 01:09:16,151
We haven't had
any calls yet, uh, at all,
788
01:09:16,194 --> 01:09:20,615
but the lines are still open
and I'll give you that number again...
789
01:09:20,655 --> 01:09:23,783
0-2-0-7...
zero, deux, zero, sept...
790
01:09:26,496 --> 01:09:28,663
This is not good,
Johnny.
791
01:09:28,748 --> 01:09:30,917
We've got to think
of something.
792
01:09:32,667 --> 01:09:35,962
Wait a minute. I've got an idea.
793
01:09:36,004 --> 01:09:37,632
Hop! Hop!
794
01:09:37,714 --> 01:09:41,469
And hop! And hop!
And stop!
795
01:09:41,551 --> 01:09:44,012
Now, are you familiar...
796
01:09:44,095 --> 01:09:47,809
with the shaman throat warblers
of the Guatemalan delta?
797
01:09:47,892 --> 01:09:49,310
What?
798
01:09:49,352 --> 01:09:51,354
It has long been
their belief...
799
01:09:51,436 --> 01:09:55,483
that a whistle pitched at the precise
resonant frequency of a metal lock...
800
01:09:55,565 --> 01:09:59,986
will vibrate the levers in such a way
that the door will simply swing open.
801
01:10:00,029 --> 01:10:01,614
Unbelievable.
802
01:10:01,696 --> 01:10:04,659
- And kneel.
803
01:10:07,620 --> 01:10:10,540
Right. Here goes.
804
01:10:21,968 --> 01:10:26,305
- I can't hear anything.
- I'm into ultrasonic.
805
01:10:26,389 --> 01:10:29,308
Will you just stop all this
and face facts?
806
01:10:29,392 --> 01:10:33,104
We've failed. The only thing
that can save us now is a miracle.
807
01:10:39,986 --> 01:10:41,696
It worked!
808
01:10:41,737 --> 01:10:44,490
- Ohh!
- Sir?
809
01:10:52,748 --> 01:10:55,751
I don't know why you hauled yourself up
that dreadful poo tube, Bough,
810
01:10:55,835 --> 01:10:59,672
when there was a perfectly good ladder
right beside it.
811
01:10:59,755 --> 01:11:02,176
Now, Sauvage may have
fooled the country...
812
01:11:02,258 --> 01:11:05,011
with his fake archbishop
and his secret agenda,
813
01:11:05,094 --> 01:11:07,430
but he hasn't fooled me.
814
01:11:08,182 --> 01:11:11,392
- So, here's the plan.
815
01:12:06,572 --> 01:12:10,661
Let all good people
rejoice
816
01:12:11,745 --> 01:12:13,747
Rejoice
817
01:12:15,040 --> 01:12:17,416
- Rejoice
- Aaah!
818
01:12:17,501 --> 01:12:21,380
Let all good people
rejoice
819
01:12:23,340 --> 01:12:25,634
Rejoice
820
01:12:25,717 --> 01:12:27,177
Rejoice
821
01:12:28,345 --> 01:12:30,806
Rejoice
822
01:12:30,889 --> 01:12:33,434
Rejoice
823
01:12:33,517 --> 01:12:36,103
Rejoice
824
01:12:36,186 --> 01:12:41,567
And sing
825
01:12:41,608 --> 01:12:46,321
Sirs, you are hereby called
to witness the anointing...
826
01:12:46,363 --> 01:12:52,661
of your one true lord
and future king Pascal.
827
01:12:52,745 --> 01:12:56,790
Pascal, are you willing
to take the oath?
828
01:12:56,875 --> 01:12:59,501
I am willing.
829
01:12:59,543 --> 01:13:03,882
Then be thou anointed...
830
01:13:03,964 --> 01:13:07,801
with this holy oil.
831
01:13:08,303 --> 01:13:14,516
And do you, the chosen bishops
of England, Scotland and Wales,
832
01:13:14,558 --> 01:13:17,394
ascent to this anointing?
833
01:13:17,479 --> 01:13:20,023
For Scotland, I do.
834
01:13:20,105 --> 01:13:21,815
For Wales, I do.
835
01:13:22,734 --> 01:13:25,819
For England, I do not!
836
01:13:25,904 --> 01:13:29,616
- English!
837
01:13:31,910 --> 01:13:36,581
That man must not be crowned king
because he is...
838
01:13:36,663 --> 01:13:39,501
a fraudster, a charlatan
and a thief.
839
01:13:39,584 --> 01:13:43,171
No, please.
Let him speak.
840
01:13:45,006 --> 01:13:48,009
It is this man,
Pascal Sauvage,
841
01:13:48,092 --> 01:13:51,346
who stole the Crown Jewels,
842
01:13:51,429 --> 01:13:53,598
who forced the queen
to abdicate...
843
01:13:53,680 --> 01:13:57,602
and who would kill anyone
who got in his way.
844
01:13:57,684 --> 01:13:59,686
It is the end,
Herr English.
845
01:14:01,356 --> 01:14:04,859
He has cheated,
conned and manipulated...
846
01:14:04,943 --> 01:14:07,737
this great country
for his own ends.
847
01:14:07,779 --> 01:14:10,114
He's fooled you all!
848
01:14:12,116 --> 01:14:15,578
What's more,
this whole ceremony is a sham...
849
01:14:15,662 --> 01:14:19,249
because that man
standing in front of you...
850
01:14:19,332 --> 01:14:22,544
is not the archbishop
of Canterbury.
851
01:14:24,963 --> 01:14:28,800
English, a word of advice:
Don't go there.
852
01:14:28,883 --> 01:14:33,430
Shut it, Frenchy. I'll go
wherever I damn well please.
853
01:14:33,513 --> 01:14:37,058
- Now take it off.
- What?
854
01:14:37,143 --> 01:14:40,478
Your face
is made of plastic.
855
01:14:42,148 --> 01:14:44,107
Remove it at once.
856
01:14:44,190 --> 01:14:46,735
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
857
01:14:46,818 --> 01:14:50,822
Right. I'll just have to
remove it myself.
858
01:14:50,905 --> 01:14:55,118
Come on!
859
01:14:55,201 --> 01:14:58,496
- Maybe it pulls up from the front.
860
01:14:58,581 --> 01:15:01,041
Come on, you!
861
01:15:16,389 --> 01:15:18,933
- Aaah!
- Thank you very much.
862
01:15:20,728 --> 01:15:22,771
Must be a join here
somewhere.
863
01:15:22,855 --> 01:15:25,815
Fascinating performance
as always, Monsieur English,
864
01:15:25,858 --> 01:15:28,486
but I'm afraid
we must move on.
865
01:15:28,569 --> 01:15:32,990
Nobody's moving anywhere until I'm
finished with this piece of low-life.
866
01:15:33,032 --> 01:15:36,117
Do you or do you you not...
867
01:15:36,202 --> 01:15:39,371
have tattooed on your bottom
the words,
868
01:15:39,455 --> 01:15:42,500
"Jesus is coming...
look busy"?
869
01:15:42,583 --> 01:15:46,629
- Are you insane?
870
01:15:46,712 --> 01:15:49,006
Well, let's find out,
shall we?
871
01:15:49,048 --> 01:15:51,717
Go on, over.
Let's have a look.
872
01:16:00,893 --> 01:16:03,187
- Excellent!
873
01:16:12,488 --> 01:16:16,575
All right, so I was wrong
about the archbishop's bottom.
874
01:16:17,910 --> 01:16:21,205
- But there's more.
- But not, I'm afraid, today.
875
01:16:21,247 --> 01:16:23,708
Sergeant, please
take this man away.
876
01:16:23,791 --> 01:16:27,545
- But be gentle with him.
- Do you think that's it?
877
01:16:27,586 --> 01:16:30,047
You think I don't have
more evidence?
878
01:16:30,089 --> 01:16:33,551
My loyal subordinate
is standing by with a DVD...
879
01:16:33,634 --> 01:16:37,263
which shows Sauvage's
hideous plans for this country.
880
01:16:37,346 --> 01:16:39,557
Get him out!
Get him out of here!
881
01:16:39,640 --> 01:16:43,519
- Play it, Bough! Play the disk!
- Play it! Now!
882
01:16:59,744 --> 01:17:03,205
- You're so hot teasing me
883
01:17:03,290 --> 01:17:09,421
So you're blue, but I can't
take a chance on a chick like you
884
01:17:09,463 --> 01:17:12,757
It's somethin'
I couldn't do
885
01:17:14,009 --> 01:17:18,095
Well, I can dance with you, honey
if you think it's funny
886
01:17:18,180 --> 01:17:20,973
Does your mother know
that you're out
887
01:17:21,057 --> 01:17:24,769
And I could shout with you, baby
Flirt a little, maybe
888
01:17:24,853 --> 01:17:27,981
Does your mother know
that you're out
889
01:17:28,064 --> 01:17:30,775
- Take it easy
- Take it easy
890
01:17:30,859 --> 01:17:33,278
Better slow down, girl
That's no way to go
891
01:17:33,320 --> 01:17:36,822
Does your mother know
892
01:17:44,331 --> 01:17:46,625
- Oi!
- Hey!
893
01:17:54,800 --> 01:17:57,010
Well, shall we?
894
01:18:03,600 --> 01:18:06,937
Then as Solomon was anointed king...
895
01:18:06,979 --> 01:18:11,316
by Zadok the priest
and Nathan the prophet,
896
01:18:11,399 --> 01:18:14,861
so be thou anointed...
897
01:18:14,945 --> 01:18:16,863
and consecrated king...
898
01:18:18,699 --> 01:18:21,660
over all the peoples...
899
01:18:21,702 --> 01:18:24,329
whom the Lord thy God...
900
01:18:24,413 --> 01:18:27,916
hath given thee to govern...
901
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:30,752
and of all your possessions,
902
01:18:30,794 --> 01:18:33,380
wherever they may be.
903
01:18:33,463 --> 01:18:37,844
And so,
in the name of the Father...
904
01:18:37,926 --> 01:18:39,636
and of the Son...
905
01:18:39,720 --> 01:18:41,680
and of the Holy Ghost,
906
01:18:42,557 --> 01:18:46,018
I crown you...
907
01:18:48,563 --> 01:18:52,399
Damn it!
908
01:18:52,482 --> 01:18:54,569
- Give it back!
- No!
909
01:18:54,651 --> 01:18:56,571
- That is my crown!
- Never!
910
01:18:56,653 --> 01:19:00,198
- Give it back!
- Never in a million years, Sauvage!
911
01:19:00,283 --> 01:19:02,242
- Give it to me!
- Get off.
912
01:19:02,326 --> 01:19:05,037
Merde!
913
01:19:07,415 --> 01:19:08,875
Give it back!
914
01:19:10,626 --> 01:19:12,587
- Stop!
- Shut up!
915
01:19:14,504 --> 01:19:18,551
All this stupid little country
have to do is stand in line...
916
01:19:18,634 --> 01:19:23,014
and do what it's told
for one miserable day!
917
01:19:23,055 --> 01:19:25,892
But can it do that?
918
01:19:25,932 --> 01:19:28,436
My fragrant French ass,
it can!
919
01:19:33,274 --> 01:19:35,860
Merde!
920
01:19:36,818 --> 01:19:39,363
- Aah!
921
01:19:40,698 --> 01:19:43,743
Give it! The crown, eh?
The crown! Go!
922
01:19:48,915 --> 01:19:51,292
And so, in the name
of the Father...
923
01:19:51,375 --> 01:19:53,836
and of the Son
and of the Holy Ghost,
924
01:19:55,046 --> 01:19:56,589
I crown you...
925
01:19:59,634 --> 01:20:01,469
king.
926
01:20:01,552 --> 01:20:03,638
What...
927
01:20:30,582 --> 01:20:33,668
Arrest that man...
928
01:20:33,751 --> 01:20:35,962
and lock him away.
929
01:20:40,717 --> 01:20:44,680
God save the king
Long live the king
930
01:20:44,762 --> 01:20:47,473
God save the king
931
01:20:52,061 --> 01:20:56,692
Amen, amen, amen, amen
Amen, amen
932
01:21:02,739 --> 01:21:08,287
Ahh, amen, amen
Amen, hallelujah
933
01:21:08,369 --> 01:21:10,539
Amen
934
01:21:19,465 --> 01:21:23,177
God save the king
935
01:21:23,260 --> 01:21:28,182
Words can hardly express just how much
we appreciate everything you've done.
936
01:21:28,222 --> 01:21:30,684
Nothing more
than my duty, ma'am.
937
01:21:30,726 --> 01:21:35,856
And in return, is there anything that
your queen and country can do for you?
938
01:21:35,939 --> 01:21:38,192
Well,
939
01:21:38,232 --> 01:21:42,236
since one is asking,
ma'am...
940
01:21:42,321 --> 01:21:45,532
In celebration
of her return to the throne,
941
01:21:45,616 --> 01:21:48,660
the queen has declared August 5
a national holiday...
942
01:21:48,744 --> 01:21:53,373
and has conferred a knighthood
on the unnamed Ml7 agent...
943
01:21:53,457 --> 01:21:57,670
responsible for foiling the plot
of french businessman Pascal Sauvage.
944
01:21:57,753 --> 01:22:00,380
Mr. Sauvage is now awaiting trial
for high treason,
945
01:22:00,422 --> 01:22:02,716
a crime which still
carries the death penalty.
946
01:22:02,758 --> 01:22:07,221
If found guilty, he's asked that his
brain be donated to medical science...
947
01:22:07,304 --> 01:22:10,724
to further research into the causes
of hyper manic schizophrenia.
948
01:22:10,766 --> 01:22:13,936
Meanwhile, the unnamed English agent
has left the country...
949
01:22:14,019 --> 01:22:17,189
and has already embarked
on his next challenging mission.
950
01:22:20,109 --> 01:22:23,195
SOMEWHERE
I N THE SOUTH OF FRANCE
951
01:22:23,237 --> 01:22:25,532
Sir Johnny English.
952
01:22:25,614 --> 01:22:28,450
Her Majesty
did seem very grateful.
953
01:22:30,077 --> 01:22:32,247
She's not the only one.
954
01:22:40,379 --> 01:22:44,134
Mmm. You are
full of surprises.
955
01:22:48,637 --> 01:22:51,932
Aaaah!
956
01:22:51,975 --> 01:22:55,644
- Johnny!
- Oh, f...
957
01:22:56,061 --> 01:22:58,439
One eye on the shadows
958
01:22:58,480 --> 01:23:00,482
Protecting his fellows
959
01:23:00,567 --> 01:23:03,652
From sunup
to the moon on his back
960
01:23:03,736 --> 01:23:08,073
Sendinメ villains to Hades
A hit with the ladies
961
01:23:08,116 --> 01:23:11,953
A stallion in the sack
962
01:23:12,036 --> 01:23:15,915
You can't get your life back
when right follows left, jack
963
01:23:15,999 --> 01:23:19,627
The more you see
the less you know
964
01:23:19,711 --> 01:23:23,423
When others would leak it
his service is secret
965
01:23:23,465 --> 01:23:26,593
Plays God
when it's your time to go
966
01:23:26,634 --> 01:23:31,306
Hey, fellas
Don't be jealous
967
01:23:31,306 --> 01:23:34,350
When they made him
they broke the mold
968
01:23:34,392 --> 01:23:38,146
So charismatic
with an automatic
969
01:23:38,229 --> 01:23:43,318
Never prematurely
shooting his load, ha
970
01:23:43,401 --> 01:23:45,445
Queen and country
safe and sound
971
01:23:45,487 --> 01:23:47,322
With villains
six feet underground
972
01:23:47,363 --> 01:23:50,325
And no one knows 'cause
no one's found any trace
973
01:23:50,366 --> 01:23:52,827
Of a man for all seasons
974
01:23:52,911 --> 01:23:56,122
Loves 'em
and leaves 'em alone
975
01:23:56,164 --> 01:23:59,000
So alone
976
01:23:59,083 --> 01:24:00,877
And you and I
wouldn't have a clue
977
01:24:00,961 --> 01:24:03,046
Who's doinメ what, why
when and who
978
01:24:03,129 --> 01:24:04,965
Up a creek with no canoe
979
01:24:05,048 --> 01:24:08,343
Watch out for
the man for all seasons
980
01:24:08,385 --> 01:24:11,471
Loves 'em
and leaves 'em alone
981
01:24:11,513 --> 01:24:14,724
So alone
But safe at home
982
01:24:14,809 --> 01:24:19,145
But safe at home
But safe at home
983
01:24:22,399 --> 01:24:24,150
Queen and country
safe and sound
984
01:24:24,192 --> 01:24:26,027
With villains
six feet underground
985
01:24:26,111 --> 01:24:29,030
And no one knows 'cause
no one's found any trace
986
01:24:29,072 --> 01:24:31,534
Of a man for all seasons
987
01:24:31,575 --> 01:24:34,829
Loves 'em
and leaves 'em alone
988
01:24:34,911 --> 01:24:37,706
So alone
989
01:24:37,789 --> 01:24:39,542
And you and I
wouldn't have a clue
990
01:24:39,624 --> 01:24:41,710
Who's doinメ what, why
when and who
991
01:24:41,793 --> 01:24:43,671
Up a creek with no canoe
992
01:24:43,712 --> 01:24:47,048
Watch out for
the man for all seasons
993
01:24:47,091 --> 01:24:50,177
Loves 'em
and leaves 'em alone
994
01:24:50,218 --> 01:24:53,346
So alone
But safe at home
995
01:24:53,430 --> 01:24:55,182
Queen and country
Safe and sound
996
01:24:55,223 --> 01:24:57,058
With villains
six feet underground
997
01:24:57,143 --> 01:24:59,979
And no one knows 'cause
no one's found any trace
998
01:25:00,104 --> 01:25:02,565
Of a man for all seasons
999
01:25:02,606 --> 01:25:05,860
Loves 'em
and leaves 'em alone
1000
01:25:05,943 --> 01:25:08,737
So alone
1001
01:25:08,821 --> 01:25:10,573
And you and I
wouldn't have a clue
1002
01:25:10,614 --> 01:25:12,700
Who's doinメ what, why
when and who
1003
01:25:12,782 --> 01:25:14,618
Up a creek with no canoe
1004
01:25:14,702 --> 01:25:18,038
Watch out for
the man for all seasons
1005
01:25:18,122 --> 01:25:21,250
Loves 'em
and leaves 'em alone
1006
01:25:21,292 --> 01:25:22,543
So alone
1007
01:25:22,585 --> 01:25:27,089
But safe at home
78135
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