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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:12,040 This programme contains strong language 2 00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:18,320 Next year, all our troubles will be out of sight... 3 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:24,960 Your mummy won't be long until she's home. 4 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:28,840 Have you got a present for Granny? Have you? 5 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:32,320 SHE SNIFFS Oh, I think you have. 6 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,440 DOORBELL RINGS 7 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,560 - Oh! - Hi, Eric! 8 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,080 - You all right, squire? - Aye! 9 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,880 Just to say, that's us off! 10 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:44,600 Oh, right, very good. Beth! So, what time's your flight? 11 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,480 BETH! 12 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:50,120 Oh, hi, Cathy. Oh, ready for the off, then? 13 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,520 Oh, yes. Christmas in the Alps, eh, Cathy? 14 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,360 Chernobyl, here we come. 15 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,760 - It's Grenoble, Cath, it's Grenoble. - Oh. 16 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,640 All the lovely snow and the mountains 17 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,680 and those big outdoor cafes with the heaters, 18 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,000 where you can just sit and smoke and smoke and... 19 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,640 - ..smoke. - What the pair of you two up to, then? 20 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,280 Oh, we're just having it here. 21 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:09,400 Aw, just the two of yous? 22 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,880 Well, Ian's popping over to drop off presents 23 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,480 and I think he's bringing that new guy he's seeing with him. 24 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,040 Oh, no need for the mistletoe - 25 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,520 they'll still be at the "shagging nonstop" stage. 26 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,720 Aye. Remember that, Eric, eh? 27 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,080 Well, they're just dropping by 28 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,440 and then it'll just be the two of us for dinner. 29 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,240 You'll not be bothering with a turkey 30 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,200 - if it's just the two of you, then? - Turkey crown. 31 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,840 You've got a turkey crown, Beth? 32 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,440 Oh, I wish I was staying here now. 33 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,160 OK, let's go. 34 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,760 Enjoy yourselves. Have a good time. 35 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:40,560 Cheers. Hope Santa's good to you! 36 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,480 Aye, well, he's given us one good present already! 37 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,040 CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYS ON TV 38 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,680 DOORBELL RINGS 39 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,960 What's happened? 40 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,080 - DOOR CLOSES - What's going on? 41 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,320 French bastards, Beth! 42 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:23,880 All right, Cath, all right. 43 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,520 What happened? 44 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,080 Air traffic control - they've gone on strike. 45 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,120 - Oh, no. - They've cancelled the flight. 46 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,760 No flights in or out of France for the next 48 hours at least. 47 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,080 Honestly, Beth, I've not been this disappointed 48 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,600 since my implants had to come out. 49 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,480 Oh, what a shame. 50 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:42,840 I never, ever, want to go to France or have anything to do with 51 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,440 anything French ever again in my life. 52 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,880 I've been looking forward to this for ages, haven't I, Col? 53 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:51,800 She has, aye. Had all her tache bleached and everything. 54 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:59,800 Look, if you've not got anything else planned, 55 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,560 well, you're welcome to have your Christmas dinner here if you like. 56 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,280 Sorry? 57 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:10,560 Well, if you're not going away and you've got nothing in, then... 58 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:12,800 Colin? 59 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,480 Er...it saves us cooking. 60 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:21,160 That's true. Would we not be better getting a table somewhere? 61 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,600 - It's too late in the day. - What about the Thai Fountain? 62 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,960 - I think they're shut Christmas Day. - Oh. 63 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,920 The Indian with the paper tablecloths? 64 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:31,000 I think they do something for the homeless. 65 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,800 Sake! There's definitely nowhere else? 66 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,000 Not that I can think of. 67 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,320 That would be lovely, Beth. 68 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,560 Wait a minute. What about Sophie? 69 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,880 As long as she doesn't sit opposite me, that'll be fine. 70 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,880 No, I mean how is she going to get back? 71 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:46,520 - Oh, God, of course. - What do you mean? 72 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,080 Well, she was out with Christine and the wee one at EuroDisney. 73 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:50,520 And the flight back was overbooked. 74 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,920 So she got put on the waiting list for the next flight home. 75 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,920 Jeezo! Well, any luck, she won't be affected. 76 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:59,280 Stuck?! What do you mean, "stuck"? 77 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,800 Now, you listen here to me. I don't care how they do it... 78 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:06,400 If they have to get Donald fucking Duck himself to fly you back, 79 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,440 you will get here for this wee one's first Christmas. 80 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:12,360 BABY CRIES Sh-sh-sh. It's all right, 81 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:15,200 it's all right. Everything's fine. 82 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:25,840 That be enough for us, will it? 83 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,840 Well, it says "serves four". 84 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,400 Aye, four what - mice? 85 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,120 There's plenty of veg. 86 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,000 I wonder if Sophie did make it home last night. 87 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:40,080 Well, no news is good news. Let's not get involved. 88 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,440 - Maybe I should go round and check. - Beth! 89 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,760 Hi, Christine. Merry Christmas. 90 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,840 No' for me, it's not. Come in. 91 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,880 She's just off the phone a minute ago - 92 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,160 next chance of a flight's tomorrow. 93 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,720 Oh, no! 94 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:01,520 She says the airport's like a refugee camp. 95 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:05,000 There's folk peeing in the prayer room, Beth. 96 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,480 I mean, on Christmas Day itself. 97 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,800 And poor Madison. 98 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,920 Oh, she's devastated. 99 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,080 Is she? 100 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,840 Oh, aye. She shat in her bath. 101 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:16,680 Oh, dear. Well, listen, why don't you come through to ours? 102 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,600 Oh, no, we'll just have it here, Beth. 103 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:21,640 Are you sure? Cathy and Colin are coming and Ian's popping by. 104 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,080 No, honestly, we'll be fine. 105 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,480 We can put Madison upstairs and use the monitor 106 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,560 and then you can have a mince pie and a glass of wine. 107 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,000 Just give me two ticks, then. 108 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,560 OK, I'll just get this. 109 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,440 In you come. I've got her. 110 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:41,440 - Right. - Didnae bother with a wreath, I see, this year, Beth. 111 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,800 Oh, she's heavy, isn't she? 112 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,800 Aye. Sophie's breast-feeding her - 113 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,840 every time she slips that bra down it's like Man Versus Food. 114 00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:52,080 There you go, you wee honey. 115 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,560 Christine's going to join us for dinner. 116 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,840 Aw. I was hoping you'd say that. 117 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,760 Compliments of the season, Eric. 118 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,680 You won't know I'm here - I shan't disturb. 119 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,360 No problem. 120 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:08,840 Aw, look at that! I love a real tree. 121 00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:10,120 O, Christmas tree 122 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,680 O, Christmas tree 123 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,840 De-deedle-ee, de-de-de-de. 124 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:18,880 - Do you not find the needles choke up your Hoover, though, Beth? - Er... 125 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,960 I'll keep my slippers on, just in case you've missed any. 126 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:25,240 I've got the fibre optic tree, Eric, that changes colour. 127 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:26,480 Oh, have you? 128 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,600 Mm-hm. Oh, I cannae put it on the rapid flash, though, 129 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,200 in case the guinea pig takes another seizure. 130 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,160 Right, I'd better start getting things into the oven. 131 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,120 Do you want a drink, Christine? 132 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,000 Oh, no, not when I've got Madison. 133 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,280 Aw, the wee soul. She's happy as Larry lying there. 134 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,760 Aye, so she is. 135 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,520 Fuck it, then. I'll take a wine. 136 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:53,600 - All right? - Fine. 137 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,080 That's five of us that's got to feed now. 138 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,920 It'll be fine. I won't take much. 139 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,040 What is it you're cooking? 140 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:10,560 Turkey crown? Are you not doing a proper turkey? 141 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,960 - Well, we just thought it would be... - What veg? 142 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,840 - Sorry? - What veg are we getting? 143 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,480 Er, potatoes, sprouts... 144 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,080 Are you doing a pig in a blanket? 145 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,320 - IAN: - Hi! 146 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,160 Oh, hi. Come in. 147 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,520 Merry Christmas. 148 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:24,960 Merry Christmas, Mum. 149 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,400 Aw! 150 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:30,280 This is Gordon. Gordon, this is Mum. 151 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,160 Hello, Mrs Baird. Merry Christmas. 152 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,160 Ooh! Merry Christmas. 153 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,080 Ian's told me a lot about you. 154 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,920 Oh, right. All good, I hope! 155 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,080 Don't worry - nothing bad. 156 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,680 Except the story about when you clipped the woman's wing mirror 157 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,960 in the car park at Sainsbury's and didn't say anything 158 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:45,520 and then the police came to the door. 159 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,560 And about the time you broke wind in the yoga class 160 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,040 - and everyone was like... - Why don't we go through? 161 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,520 That's Ian and Gordon here. 162 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:54,640 Oh! 163 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,240 Hiya, Dad. Merry Christmas. 164 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:57,680 Merry Christmas, son. 165 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,440 - Gordon, this is my Dad. - Hi Gordon, son. 166 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,560 Merry Christmas, Mr Baird. Are we doing hugs or...? 167 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:05,720 OK, that's fine. 168 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,600 - All right, Christine. Merry Christmas. - Mm. 169 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,440 Christine, this is Gordon. 170 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,920 Hold on till I get the rest of this pie down me. 171 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:21,880 Hello, Gordon. 172 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,240 Christine stays next door. 173 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:26,560 Hello, Christine, merry Christmas. How's your day been so far? 174 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,720 Oh, a fucking shit show. 175 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:32,680 - Oh. - We were away in EuroDisney and my daughter's stuck out there 176 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,320 cos she cannae get a flight back. 177 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:35,680 Oh, no. Because of the strike? 178 00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:38,800 No, cos she's been kidnapped by the seven dwarves. 179 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,080 Aye, because of the strike. 180 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:45,720 Here, Beth, Eric tells me that you're no' doing a proper turkey. 181 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,120 She didnae tell me that 182 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,960 - when she was dragging me in here, Gordon. - Well... 183 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,200 - BABY CRIES - Aw, there's wee Madison. 184 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,560 That's my granddaughter, Gordon. 185 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:56,880 She's lovely. Aren't they cute at that age? 186 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,520 She shat in her bath. 187 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,440 Will I take her upstairs? 188 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,040 Aw, I don't know, Beth. 189 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,560 Seems a shame to have her up there on her own. 190 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:06,440 We brought you a wee bottle of fizz. 191 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,800 Well, er, take her up, Beth. Take her away up. 192 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,400 Aw, thanks very much. 193 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:12,840 - Ah, you want a wee drink? - Aye. 194 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:14,400 What do you want? 195 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:15,560 Er, just a beer'll do me. 196 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:16,680 Gordon? 197 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,920 Oh, er, something Christmassy. 198 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,680 A beer in a glass? THEY CHUCKLE 199 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,160 Have you got any Baileys? 200 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,600 Oh, I could go one of them as well, Eric. 201 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:26,960 You've got your wine. 202 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,240 Not any more, I don't! 203 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,600 Could I get a cube of ice in mine? 204 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,200 It just helps you get the dregs out the bottom of the glass. 205 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,160 Oh, that's a good idea. 206 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:42,120 Here, Eric, I'll have a cube of ice in mine as well. 207 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,680 PHONE RINGS 208 00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:50,280 So, Gordon, how come you're not with your own family today, then? 209 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,360 They're all down in Yorkshire. 210 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,280 Oh, Yorkshire. 211 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,680 There was a woman from Yorkshire in front of me 212 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,880 in the queue for the toilets at EuroDisney. 213 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,200 Oh, right. 214 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,880 Mm. She took fucking ages. 215 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,600 That's her - she's settled now. 216 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,760 I was just chatting to my wee pal Gordon. 217 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:13,520 Here, Beth, do you know that if you put ice cubes into Baileys 218 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:17,240 you don't need to stick your finger in to get the rest of it out? 219 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,160 Right, well, shall we do presents now? 220 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,280 Cos I know you two can't hang around. 221 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,040 Actually, I was going to ask if it would be all right 222 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,320 if we could stay and have our dinner here. 223 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,600 Oh, I thought you were going to Morven and Lynn's. 224 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,120 Well, we were but...they cancelled. 225 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,760 Are you doing a pig in a blanket, Beth? 226 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,120 Hang on a minute, Christine. 227 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,680 Well, if you want to, you're more than welcome. 228 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:39,640 - Aw, thanks, Mum. - As long as you're not a fussy eater, Gordon. 229 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,440 No, no. Well, I'm a vegetarian. 230 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:43,800 What's this? 231 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,080 Ian and Gordon are staying here for their dinner. 232 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,960 They're... Oh, right, OK. 233 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,040 SHE HUMS: Jingle Bells 234 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,120 - Jingle all the way... - GORDON JOINS IN 235 00:10:56,120 --> 00:11:00,200 BOTH: Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh 236 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,280 Hey! 237 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,880 Jingle bells, jingle bells 238 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,680 Jingle all the way. 239 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,000 You, me, Cathy, Colin, 240 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,320 Christine, Ian. 241 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,440 - What about Gordon? - He won't take any. 242 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,160 - Why not? - He's vegetarian. 243 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,800 Oh, God. So what we going to give him? 244 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,640 I don't know! Vegetables. 245 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:20,240 - Oh! - Och, it'll be fine - we've got 246 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,560 the big Christmas pudding and that'll fill everyone up. 247 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,840 Right, come on, let's do these presents. 248 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,240 Oh, OK. Right, go on. 249 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,600 That's your dad's. 250 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,000 Dad, that's for you. 251 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,120 Thanks very much, son. Much appreciated. 252 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:39,680 This is where I could start getting all emotional - 253 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:43,400 this should be me and Sophie sat here exchanging presents. 254 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,280 She was so looking forward to it, as well. 255 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:47,520 Aw, what did you get her? 256 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,560 Two pairs of tights and a big Dairy Milk. 257 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,160 Right, will we get on with this? 258 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,640 - Mrs Baird, that's for you. - Ooh! Oh! 259 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:58,840 Oh, I feel bad opening this in front of you, Christine. 260 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:03,040 Don't be daft, Beth. You go ahead. 261 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:07,440 I'm just happy to sit here and watch the surprise on folk's faces 262 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,000 when they open them up. 263 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,840 Oh, I wonder what it is! 264 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,320 That'll be perfume. 265 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:14,840 It's lovely paper. 266 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,360 I'm telling you, it'll be perfume. 267 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,920 Christine, don't spoil it. 268 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:20,960 What is it? 269 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,840 It's perfume. 270 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,320 Told you! 271 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,560 Thanks, Ian. Thanks, Gordon. 272 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:29,640 Absolute pleasure. I'm not saying that you stink! 273 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,720 THEY LAUGH AWKWARDLY 274 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,120 Right, come on, Eric. You open yours. 275 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,760 Come on, Mr Baird, rrr! 276 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,080 Listen, you didn't need to bother - I don't need anything. 277 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,280 It won't be much, Eric. 278 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,680 It'll just be pants that come in a box or a wee tin of posh biscuits. 279 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:49,120 - Biscuits. - Told you! 280 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:55,160 Right, Ian, this is from me and your dad. 281 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,200 Wait - I'll get my phone out. I should really be taking photos. 282 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,880 Oh, here, Gordon, take one of me before I get pished. 283 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,520 Aw, thanks a lot. 284 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,080 That'll be something to wear. 285 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,800 - Christine! - Sorry. 286 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,600 A polo shirt or the likes. 287 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,920 - Hey! - Sorry, sorry. 288 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,560 Aw, that's lovely. Do you like it? 289 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,280 That's really nice. Ralph Lauren! 290 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,200 - Ralph Lauren, aye? - Yeah. 291 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,160 12.99, TK Maxx. 292 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:29,920 Have you got the bag, Colin? 293 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,440 Merry Christmas. 294 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,800 I'm supposed to be skiing. 295 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,800 What a shame. 296 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,600 Wee Madison's first Christmas 297 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,680 and her mum's not even here to give her her presents. 298 00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:51,800 I was thinking - why don't we...? 299 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:54,080 Och, no, no. 300 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:55,720 What? 301 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,200 Where's that Santa suit we had? 302 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,680 MUSIC: Last Christmas by Wham! 303 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:03,400 PHONE RINGS 304 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,560 Who was that? 305 00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,880 It's my mum. I'll call her later. 306 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:14,200 How come you're not speaking to her? 307 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,600 It's just... 308 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,400 ..if I speak to her, I'll have to speak to my dad. 309 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,920 And? 310 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,160 And he'll ask me where I am. 311 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,960 - And? - Well, he doesn't know. 312 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,680 He doesn't know you're having Christmas with me? 313 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,320 - No, he doesn't know that. - DOORBELL RINGS 314 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,760 He also doesn't know I'm gay, to be honest. 315 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,280 What?! 316 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:40,560 BOTH: Merry Christmas. 317 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,280 - Hi, Cathy. Hi, Colin. - BABY CRIES 318 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,800 - CHRISTINE: - That's Madison awake. - Two ticks. In you come. 319 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,320 - How you feeling? - Fucking gutted, Beth. 320 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,680 I got new pants. 321 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:51,640 Hey! 322 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,840 Merry Christmas. 323 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,160 Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas, everybody. 324 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,680 Merry Christmas. 325 00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,280 - Hi, Ian. - Hiya! 326 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:04,840 Oh, and you must be Gordon. Look, Colin - Ian and Gordon. 327 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,040 Or is it Gordon and Ian? 328 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,320 I suppose it might depend on who's the... 329 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,440 Merry Christmas, Cathy. 330 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:15,720 Oh, merry Christmas, Gordon, honey. Let me just give you a little kiss. 331 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,120 Ah-oh-oh-oh! Peck on the lips. 332 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,440 Peck on the lips, Gordon, just for Christmas. 333 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,680 That's you. 334 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,440 Merry Christmas, boys. 335 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,040 Merry Christmas! 336 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,680 Really different from Jaz, isn't he? 337 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,640 What's your type, Ian - just...anything? 338 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,480 Yous had a good day, boys? 339 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:40,280 Oh, yes, lovely. Very nice. 340 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,040 Getting a bit hungry now, mind you. 341 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,760 Ready for our Christmas dinner, you know. 342 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:46,640 Oh, aye, I could do with something myself. 343 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,680 I mean, there's nothing in these pies of hers. 344 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,560 You having it here as well, are you? 345 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,120 Your mum said you were going to a lesbian's house. 346 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,040 We were, aye, but... 347 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,840 Our plans fell through as well. 348 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,640 Oh, no. What happened? 349 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,640 We were supposed to be skiing 350 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:06,320 in a five-star resort just outside Chernobyl, Gordon. 351 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:07,520 Grenoble. 352 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:11,560 Yes, but the French Air Traffic fuckers fucking fucked us, Gordon. 353 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,800 Is this your first time here, is it, Gordon? 354 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,280 It is, yeah. I'm the new boy! 355 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,280 Aye, very good. 356 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:20,960 And where did the pair of you meet - 357 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:25,360 was it online or was it, like, in a park? 358 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,280 - BABY MURMURS - Here she is. 359 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:31,080 ALL EXCLAIM 360 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,440 Christine, that's Madison down now. 361 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,800 - Has she been changed? - Yes. 362 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,560 All right. Just keep your eye on her for me, then, please. 363 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,400 What a shame Sophie's not back. 364 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,640 I know. 365 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:46,080 How is Madison? Is she all right? 366 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,400 She shat in the bath. 367 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:54,040 Well, never mind that, cos we've got a nice surprise for you. 368 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,160 Is it a turkey? 369 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,160 Wait and I'll see if he's ready. 370 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:04,240 Oh, is that something I can hear on the roof? 371 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,840 Is it reindeer? 372 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,240 Is she half cut already? 373 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,080 We're ready for you now! 374 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:14,320 Ho, ho, ho. Santa's here. 375 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:16,680 Oh, good god. 376 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,480 - Merry Christmas! - What's this? 377 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:22,240 Oh, it was your dad's idea for Madison, 378 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,320 seeing as Sophie can't be here. 379 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:26,800 Oh, look, Madison, who's this? 380 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:31,520 Hello, Madison. Have you been a good girl? Have you, Madison? 381 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:32,840 - COLIN: - Eric! 382 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,520 - Have you been a... - Eric! - ..good girl? 383 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:38,240 Eric! That's a bit threatening, that, Eric. I'd pitch it up a bit. 384 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,160 Aw, she's still a bit sleepy. 385 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,960 Hold on. 386 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,760 TOY SQUEAKS 387 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,480 That's her now. 388 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,600 Right, well, you sit down here, Santa, 389 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:54,040 and give Madison all her presents. 390 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:58,320 Beth, Beth, could I just nip out for a cigarette while this is happening? 391 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:01,000 No. That's OK! 392 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,760 There we go! 393 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,000 Look at the beard. 394 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,960 What happened to your beard, Santa? 395 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,400 Oh, don't ask. Her pal, Pat. 396 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,520 What is it? 397 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,760 That's the same suit that Pat was wearing 398 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,000 - when she set fire to herself. - She what?! 399 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:20,800 Well, she tried to light a fag and the whole beard went up in flames. 400 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,440 Oh, for God's sake. 401 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,200 It's the flame on that lighter of hers. 402 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,960 It's like a blowtorch. 403 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,680 Honest to God, when she whips that out at the bus stop, 404 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:34,160 you don't know whether she's going to light a fag or fix the pavement. 405 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,240 Are you all right, sweetheart, eh? 406 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,480 - ALL: - Aw. 407 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:42,720 Oh, Santa, you must be tired after your journey 408 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,760 all the way from the North Pole, hmm? 409 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,480 I hope you didn't give out any presents to 410 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,520 anyone in France on the way, 411 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,920 - because they are off the list. - Cathy! 412 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:58,120 Right, here you go, Santa, here's the first one. 413 00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,000 Col, Beth's an elf. 414 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,520 And who's this from? 415 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,520 - This is from us. - All right. 416 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,400 Aw, let's see. 417 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:11,720 Aw, that's nice, Beth. Oh, she loves elephants. 418 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,560 They love them in China, too. The tusks. 419 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,800 They put it in the cups of tea in the brothels. 420 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,640 Here's one from us - that's from me and Gordon. 421 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:28,480 Oh, look at the card! Look, Christine, 422 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,040 there's a wee robin on it. 423 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,520 - Is it cash or a voucher? - Voucher. 424 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,040 SHE TUTS 425 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,440 Right, so is that us all done? 426 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,000 Erm... 427 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,960 Oh, don't worry, don't worry. 428 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,800 No, no, no, no! Colin, where's the, er...? Where's the bag? 429 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,120 - Mmm? - The bag with the pressies in it. 430 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,240 - Oh, er... - Oh, here it is. 431 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,480 Right, er, let's see what we've got. 432 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:58,560 Boy, oh, boy, let's see what we've got for you. 433 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:02,680 Now, I'm afraid I haven't had time to wrap it, but it is... 434 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,800 A beautiful bottle of tonic. 435 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,080 OK, we're nearly ready. 436 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,080 - It's a wee bit... - Don't! 437 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:20,960 Look, are you wanting me to open a tin of beans - 438 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,200 just fill the plates out a bit? 439 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,200 I am not serving beans with Christmas dinner, Eric! 440 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,800 We've got loads of sprouts 441 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,520 and that big Christmas pudding for afters - we'll be fine. 442 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,120 All right, Christine? 443 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:36,160 Aye, fine, Beth. Is that us nearly ready for getting our dinner, then? 444 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,800 Yes. 445 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,280 Oh, I WILL go just now, then. 446 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,240 SHE HUMS: O Christmas Tree 447 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,800 So, you not with the family today, Gordon? 448 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,120 No, no. 449 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,160 Where are you from, Gordon? 450 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,920 Yorkshire. 451 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:54,080 - Hmm? - Near Manchester, the airport where we fly to Dubai from. 452 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,680 Oh, right. 453 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,440 You'll be giving your folks a wee ring at some point, no? 454 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,080 Colin called his dad earlier to wish him merry Christmas. 455 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,240 Well, I left a message with one of the nurses. 456 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,800 Aw, look! Oh, Colin, look. Isn't she sweet? 457 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,400 - SPLASHING - Oh! 458 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:09,760 Pass me a wipe out my bag. 459 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:14,760 Right, folks, shift your bums up to the table - food's nearly ready. 460 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,680 Two ticks. Gordon's going to phone his mum first. 461 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,040 Oh, I'll do it later. 462 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:23,480 No, the food's not out yet - you're fine. Go on. 463 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:27,520 Oh, crackers! I love crackers. Come on, Ian, let's do one. 464 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,080 That is shit. 465 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,760 Beth, your crackers are shit! 466 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:42,600 Hello! 467 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,480 Oh, hiya, Dad. 468 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:45,720 Yeah, merry Christmas. 469 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,640 I'm good, yeah. Uh-huh. 470 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:54,280 That's lovely loo roll with the holly on it, Eric. Very Christmassy. 471 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,720 Christine, Gordon's dad's on the phone. 472 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,440 Oh, well, just a quick word, then. 473 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:04,560 Merry Christmas. It's Christine here. 474 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:08,480 Christine. I live next door to Ian's mum. 475 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,000 What do you mean, "Who's Ian?" 476 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,600 Ian - Gordon's boyf... 477 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,000 I'll just pass you back. 478 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,480 Okey dokey. 479 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:30,920 Here we go! I tell you what - I am ravenous. 480 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,560 Me too - it's all that running about after the wee one. 481 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,080 OK, that's us, folks. 482 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,400 THEY CHEER I'm ready for this, I tell you! 483 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,760 - Woohoo! - There you are. 484 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,000 What's this? 485 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,920 It's Christmas dinner, Christine. 486 00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,920 It looks like a wee plate of leftovers 487 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,480 you'd put out for the birds. 488 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,440 We only thought it was going to be the two of us. 489 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,800 It's fine - we always eat too much anyway. 490 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,440 No chance of that the day. 491 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,080 There's a big Christmas pudding in there for after. 492 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:13,480 It looks lovely. Isn't the main thing that we're all here together? 493 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:22,760 - All right? - Yeah, fine. 494 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,640 Right, now, who would like gravy? 495 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,360 - Yes. - What's she serving that in - a thimble? 496 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,280 Bon appetit! 497 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:36,480 What? 498 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,120 It's French for "enjoy your..." 499 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:56,120 Well, it's maybe not the biggest, but it's absolutely delicious. 500 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,640 Ach, it's a shame Sophie's not here. 501 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,120 Will she get Christmas dinner over there? 502 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:07,120 Nup. A ham baguette, a strawberry yogurt 503 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:08,680 and a bit of Ryanair shortbread. 504 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:12,560 God, that's a nightmare. I feel so sorry for her. 505 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:16,280 - She's not the only one who's had her Christmas ruined. - Sorry? 506 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,240 I'm just saying, Sophie's not the only one who has had her 507 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,800 - Christmas turned upside down. - You're not wrong there. 508 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:23,600 I should be up a mountain right now. 509 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:26,720 Like, a proper mountain, with a bar at the top 510 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,840 and a medical centre in case you break your leg 511 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,840 or your lips go all...dry. 512 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:38,040 A-and snow that's properly white, not like the stuff we get here 513 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,880 that just goes brown and disappears. 514 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,800 This is the worst Christmas I think I've honestly ever had. 515 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,200 Now, look, Cathy... 516 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:46,960 All right, Cath, all right. 517 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,680 Look, there's something I arranged - 518 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:55,160 a wee surprise that I was gonnae show you while we were away, but... 519 00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,080 ..it might be all right now. 520 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:02,600 Let's go outside. 521 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,120 Come on, everyone. 522 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:06,920 Come and see what I got Cathy for Christmas. Come on, grab your coats. 523 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,360 - ERIC: What's he on about? GORDON: - What's this? 524 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,480 - Chilly, isn't it? - Well, there's nothing here. 525 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,840 It's not out here - it's up there. 526 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,120 - What? - Look up there! 527 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,720 - CHRISTINE: - I cannae see anything. 528 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,320 I have bought you a star. 529 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,120 SHE GASPS 530 00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:32,840 - No! - Aye! 531 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:36,240 I've adopted a star and it's named after you. 532 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,680 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Col. 533 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:42,720 Beth, I've got a star named after me. What one is it? 534 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,320 Well, er... 535 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,880 See that... See that big one there? 536 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,400 Oh, wow! 537 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,240 Well, next to that, there's a weer one. 538 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,080 Uh-huh. 539 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:58,120 And to the left of that, just down a bit. 540 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:00,720 - That one? - What one? 541 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,960 - The one in between the two that are close together. - No, down a bit. 542 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,040 Right. 543 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,200 So, what did he say? 544 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:09,480 Oh, not much. 545 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,040 He was going to find out sooner or later. 546 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:14,400 Was he all right about it? 547 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,800 - Not too bad. - That's good. 548 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:18,920 I'm glad. 549 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:20,960 Must be a weight off your mind. 550 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,480 Are you still going to go down and see them at New Year? 551 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,000 No. 552 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,920 Not a cloud in the sky, eh, Beth? 553 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,520 I know. 554 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,520 Makes you think, doesn't it? 555 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,120 Yes, it does. 556 00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,680 Makes you think... 557 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:39,320 ..there are worse places to live than this, eh? 558 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,880 Oh, I see it, I see it! Look! 559 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,040 What did you call it? 560 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:46,080 Cathy. 561 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,000 Oh! 562 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:56,120 Beth, look! That's me. That's my star! I'm a star, in the sky! 563 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,120 Fuck this. I'm wanting my pudding. 564 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,120 Come here, you. 565 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:14,640 Merry Christmas. 566 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,560 I mean, Gordon, all right, 567 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:22,040 Sophie didnae make it home, we've had fuck all to eat 568 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,800 and Madison got a bottle of tonic water for her Christmas, 569 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,480 but in the grand scheme of things, could've been a lot worse, eh? 570 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,320 Yeah. 571 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,520 OK, who fancies Christmas pudding? 572 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,960 - Me! - Oh, yes! 573 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,080 Make some space. 574 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,280 That's it. Move that there. 575 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:48,400 Here it comes! 576 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,400 Ho, ho, ho! 577 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,920 THEY CHEER 578 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,680 Here he is - Santa Eric! 579 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,480 - SHE CHANTS: - Santa Claus, Santa Claus! 580 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:00,680 Are you ready? 581 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,120 ALL: Yes! 582 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,720 ALL: Ooh! 583 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,760 THEY YELL 584 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:10,600 Who's got a beard that's long and white? 585 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,320 Santa's got a beard that's long and white 586 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,080 Who comes round on a special night? 587 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:15,640 Santa comes round on a special night 588 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:17,320 Special night, beard that's white 589 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,760 Must be Santa, must be Santa 590 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,560 Must be Santa, Santa Claus 591 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:27,800 Who wears boots and a suit of red? 592 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,480 Santa wears boots and a suit of red 593 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:31,280 Who wears a long cap on his head? 594 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,040 Santa wears a long cap on his head 595 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:34,440 Cap on head, suit that's red 596 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,520 Special night, beard that's white. 597 00:28:36,570 --> 00:28:41,120 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 44041

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