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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,208 --> 00:00:22,083 MAN (narrating): In the beginning, God created the universe, 2 00:00:25,375 --> 00:00:27,208 the heavens... 3 00:00:29,083 --> 00:00:31,208 and the Earth. 4 00:00:37,709 --> 00:00:42,750 Then God created the first nerd. 5 00:00:50,959 --> 00:00:53,959 ♪♪ 6 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:07,083 (chattering) 7 00:01:12,834 --> 00:01:15,875 I'm going to take note on your champagne glasses. 8 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:20,250 Check the silver service and make sure that it's properly polished. 9 00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:23,375 Eugene, take this to the kitchen. Make sure the steam tables have arrived. 10 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,166 Check on the tablecloths and make sure they're the right color. 11 00:01:29,291 --> 00:01:31,917 (continues chattering) 12 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,250 Oh, boy. Oh, boy, I don't know. 13 00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:36,709 Aaron, relax. You're driving us all crazy. 14 00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:38,875 This better be a great wedding. 15 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:42,083 Every political heavyweight from the party is gonna be there checking me out. 16 00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:45,750 Jeanie's wedding is going to be wonderful. Fix your ascot. 17 00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:49,875 How come we never met this guy that Jeanie's marrying? 18 00:01:49,959 --> 00:01:52,583 -What's his name again? -Dudley Dawson. 19 00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:56,750 -Yeah. -Hey, I wonder if he's from the Schenectady Dawsons. 20 00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:59,250 They're a very powerful family back east. 21 00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:01,417 (snaps fingers) I went to school with Cap Dawson. 22 00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:05,250 -Talk about your blue bloods. -Isn't it just a little bit strange 23 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:09,000 that Jeanie never brought, uh, what's-his-butt over here before? 24 00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:13,291 (scoffs) His name is Dudley. They only met three months ago. 25 00:02:13,375 --> 00:02:15,458 I know I'd be a shoo-in with the people 26 00:02:15,542 --> 00:02:18,333 if I could just get those old-money blue bloods to endorse my candidacy. 27 00:02:18,417 --> 00:02:20,917 And they'd be damn fools not to, Dad, 28 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,583 irregardless of the fact that you are nouveau riche. 29 00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:31,917 Don't you ever use that phrase in this house! 30 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:37,458 I am not nouveau riche. I am a self-made businessman. 31 00:02:37,542 --> 00:02:40,291 And I'm not your dad. I'm your father-in-law. Get it? 32 00:02:40,375 --> 00:02:44,792 Right. Self-made businessman. Father-in law. I-I got it. 33 00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:47,500 Can we please stop talking about the campaign for a minute? 34 00:02:47,583 --> 00:02:50,667 Focus on Jeanie's wedding. That's what's important here. 35 00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,041 Gaylord's right, as usual. 36 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:58,041 -WOMAN: Hi, everybody. -Jeanie! 37 00:03:00,125 --> 00:03:03,625 -You look wonderful. -Thank you. 38 00:03:03,709 --> 00:03:05,542 I love that outfit. 39 00:03:05,625 --> 00:03:07,834 You do? 40 00:03:07,917 --> 00:03:11,375 -So, you excited? -Oh, yeah. (laughs) 41 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:14,375 Where'd you meet... Dudley? 42 00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:17,750 Well, at a ham and lima bean cookout. 43 00:03:23,542 --> 00:03:26,208 It was an Omega Mu sorority fund-raiser. 44 00:03:26,792 --> 00:03:28,834 Oh, ho, ho, sure, sure. The... 45 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,875 the Schenectady Dawsons are very big with sororities 46 00:03:31,959 --> 00:03:34,166 and fund-raisers and cookouts. 47 00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:35,542 (doorbell ringing) 48 00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:38,667 All your questions will be answered in a moment. 49 00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:40,834 -(knocking) -Oh! 50 00:03:40,917 --> 00:03:43,125 -Booger? -Why'd she call him Booger? 51 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,041 -Baby! -Oh! 52 00:03:47,125 --> 00:03:49,041 Oh, honey. 53 00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:52,417 Oh... buns. 54 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,917 -Give me buns! -(shrieks) 55 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,709 -May I have them, please? -Stop it! 56 00:03:57,792 --> 00:03:59,834 -Give me buns! -Shh! No! Shh! 57 00:03:59,917 --> 00:04:02,709 Moo! Moo! 58 00:04:02,792 --> 00:04:04,208 My family is waiting to meet you. 59 00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:05,500 (groans) 60 00:04:05,583 --> 00:04:07,166 (gasps) Mommy! 61 00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:10,542 Tippy! Tippy! 62 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:14,291 -What happened? -Mommy fainted. 63 00:04:14,375 --> 00:04:16,583 Gosh, are you all right, Mrs. Humphrey? 64 00:04:16,667 --> 00:04:17,583 Yeah, I-- 65 00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:19,917 She'll be fine. Can I ask you a question? 66 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,709 Are you from the Schenectady Dawsons, railroad money? 67 00:04:22,792 --> 00:04:24,875 -Hmm? -Uh, no. 68 00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:27,750 The Detroit Dawsons. Sewing machine rental money. 69 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:33,291 -There's gonna be an egg. Where's the kitchen? -Oh, to the left! 70 00:04:33,375 --> 00:04:36,250 -Are you all right, Mommy? -Yes, yes, I'm fine. 71 00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:38,750 I don't know what came over me. Oh! 72 00:04:38,834 --> 00:04:40,709 Sewing machine rental money? 73 00:04:40,792 --> 00:04:43,542 My God, he's a nerd! 74 00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:45,291 (all gasp) 75 00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:48,041 A nerd? How can you tell? 76 00:04:48,125 --> 00:04:50,750 There were a lot of nerds at USC. 77 00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:53,959 I can smell a nerd a mile away. 78 00:04:54,041 --> 00:04:57,291 Well, I've heard nerds make wonderful husbands. 79 00:04:57,375 --> 00:05:00,834 And they're smart too. 80 00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:03,750 She's obviously getting even with us for something. 81 00:05:06,417 --> 00:05:08,750 -Beef! We need beef! -In there! 82 00:05:11,917 --> 00:05:14,333 That was kind of a rocky start with your family. 83 00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:16,458 Oh, everything's fine. My mom's great. 84 00:05:16,542 --> 00:05:18,583 I'm sure she's just overwhelmed from all the excitement. 85 00:05:18,667 --> 00:05:21,834 -Well then, you don't think it's because they don't like me? -Booger, I love you. 86 00:05:21,917 --> 00:05:26,166 Well, yeah, I know you-- I got it! I know you do. 87 00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:29,458 But I was just afraid maybe your "mishpukin'" was thinking you were "mistookin'." 88 00:05:29,542 --> 00:05:32,083 They're gonna love you too, Booger. I know they will. 89 00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,500 -(exhales) -Oh! 90 00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:37,458 Here you go, Mrs. Humphrey. Put this on the--Hey! 91 00:05:37,542 --> 00:05:40,125 -Oh! -(gasps) 92 00:05:40,208 --> 00:05:43,333 BOOGER: Don't move. Don't move. Excuse me. That was clumsy. 93 00:05:43,417 --> 00:05:47,834 -Ahh... -There we go. I've got it. 94 00:05:47,917 --> 00:05:50,333 Can I speak to you a second, Jeanie? 95 00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,041 Sure. 96 00:05:56,083 --> 00:05:58,834 Thank you, dear. 97 00:05:58,917 --> 00:06:01,041 It stops the swelling. 98 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:07,500 Are you pregnant? 99 00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:10,041 Pregnant? No! 100 00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:12,917 You mean, you don't have to marry him? 101 00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:14,083 Daddy! 102 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:18,000 I would like you to come with me to a cult deprogrammer. 103 00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:21,667 J-J-J-Just show up there and be open. That's all I ask. 104 00:06:23,125 --> 00:06:25,041 I just can't believe you're saying this. 105 00:06:25,125 --> 00:06:26,208 (whimpers) 106 00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:28,583 Wh-wh-where are you going? 107 00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:30,917 This is good stuff I'm telling you. 108 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,917 (sobbing) I love Booger! 109 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,250 And I'm gonna marry him no matter what you think! (sobbing) 110 00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:39,917 Jeanie? 111 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,709 -Sweetheart, you're overreacting. -(door slams) 112 00:06:42,792 --> 00:06:45,500 -What did you say to her? -Nothing. 113 00:06:45,583 --> 00:06:48,125 Nothing. We just had a little conversation, that's all. 114 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:52,250 Ahh... Can't we all just get along? 115 00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:55,875 She comes home with a guy who looks like he came out of a vending machine, 116 00:06:55,959 --> 00:06:58,875 -and I'm the one who's wrong. -TIPPY: Jeanie. Jeanie. 117 00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:04,500 What a world. 118 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:06,959 Hey! 119 00:07:08,291 --> 00:07:10,625 Hi. I'm Jeanie's sister, Gaylord. 120 00:07:10,709 --> 00:07:13,792 And this is my husband, Chip. Chip Medford. 121 00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:17,125 Great idea. Having the wedding on Valentine's Day. (laughs) 122 00:07:25,208 --> 00:07:28,250 Are you sure your best man knows where we are located? 123 00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,875 Oh, he'll find it all right. 124 00:07:32,375 --> 00:07:35,291 As a matter of fact, he will be here in exactly 125 00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:37,291 seven seconds. 126 00:07:37,375 --> 00:07:40,458 Five, four, 127 00:07:40,542 --> 00:07:43,709 three, two, one. 128 00:07:46,542 --> 00:07:50,333 Right on the button. Lewis! 129 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,125 Booger! 130 00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:55,333 Pull in here! 131 00:07:55,417 --> 00:07:58,542 (honks horn) 132 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,709 (hydraulics brakes hissing) 133 00:08:09,166 --> 00:08:13,083 (both laughing) 134 00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:16,625 -Oh, Booger's wedding. -Yeah! 135 00:08:16,709 --> 00:08:19,750 -(singsong) ♪ Booger's gettin' married ♪ -Oh, come on. Stop it! 136 00:08:19,834 --> 00:08:21,834 Hey, what do you think of the truck? 137 00:08:21,917 --> 00:08:24,291 Well... well, I would expect nothing else from the king of the nerds. 138 00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:26,166 -It's got everything. -Where's Betty? 139 00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,792 Oh, follow me. 140 00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,709 Would you like to see my unborn fetal son? 141 00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:34,000 -Yeah. -This is a state-of-the-art, remote-activated, 142 00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:37,500 microwave-transmitted, bilingual, five DB-gain, 143 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:40,625 semi-duplex fetal monitor. 144 00:08:40,709 --> 00:08:43,667 I can check on the development, the vital signs of my unborn 145 00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:46,375 fetal son from anywhere in the universe. 146 00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:48,166 (laughs) Look. 147 00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,166 There's his tinkler. 148 00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:52,875 Just like the old man, huh? 149 00:08:52,959 --> 00:08:55,250 (both guffawing) 150 00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:07,041 -Booger! -Betty! 151 00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:11,667 -What is this? -An Airbus A300 WhisperJet 152 00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:16,375 could land right on our truck, and Betty and our unborn fetal son wouldn't even be hurt. 153 00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:18,667 -Lewis? -Hmm? 154 00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:21,041 Could you let me out of here? 155 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:23,834 -Oh, sure, Betty. -Here. Let me give you a hand. 156 00:09:23,917 --> 00:09:25,750 -Thank you. -(hisses) 157 00:09:25,834 --> 00:09:27,917 (all laughing) 158 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,583 Hey, so, Booger, how are things going with the in-laws? 159 00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:33,208 Well, things were going okay, 160 00:09:33,291 --> 00:09:35,709 until my mother-in-law passed out and cracked her head on the coffee table. 161 00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:36,875 BOTH: Oh. 162 00:09:36,959 --> 00:09:40,291 And I don't think my father-in-law likes me at all. 163 00:09:40,625 --> 00:09:41,542 BOTH: Oh. 164 00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:43,709 He's one of those pretentious, 165 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,834 hoity-toity, nouveau riche types. 166 00:09:47,709 --> 00:09:50,041 -He may be anti-nerd. -(both gasp) 167 00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:52,750 Oh, no. 168 00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:55,250 Why does this always have to poke its ugly head out? 169 00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:58,750 Indeed. We need to nip this in the bud. 170 00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:03,417 Booger, I want you to know I take my job as best man very seriously. 171 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:06,875 And I will take care of everything, including Jeanie's old man. 172 00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:09,792 Never fear, Skolnick's here. 173 00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:12,375 -I love you, you big galoot. -(laughs) 174 00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:15,083 (laughs) I feel better already. 175 00:10:15,166 --> 00:10:18,208 -(horn honks) -Hey, here comes the gang. 176 00:10:18,291 --> 00:10:21,750 - ♪ Take one down pass it around ♪ -Hey, guys! 177 00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:24,583 ♪ No bottles of beer on the wall ♪ 178 00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:28,375 (whooping, chattering) 179 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,834 -Lamar! -Party, party, party! 180 00:10:35,917 --> 00:10:37,166 Booger! 181 00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:39,625 (laughing) 182 00:10:39,709 --> 00:10:42,792 -(camera shutter clicks) -Nerds are here! 183 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:45,041 -Takashi! -Booger! 184 00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:50,125 -Lewis! Hi, Lewis. -Takash, how are you? Good to see you. 185 00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:53,333 Oh, Betty! Oh, ho, ho! Betty so big. 186 00:10:53,417 --> 00:10:56,583 -(laughs) -Oh, look at you! 187 00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:59,792 -Oh, Judy! -Uncle Lewis! 188 00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:02,750 -Harold! Good trip? -Ah, ho, it was great. 189 00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:05,792 You know, the bus driver said we were the first group ever 190 00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:08,500 to make it all the way through "A Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall?" 191 00:11:08,583 --> 00:11:11,333 -(laughing) -BOOGER: Yes! Hey! 192 00:11:11,417 --> 00:11:14,667 It's been delightful motoring with you. 193 00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:17,500 Trevor, how was the trip? 194 00:11:17,583 --> 00:11:19,625 I only got carsick twice. 195 00:11:19,709 --> 00:11:22,208 Oh, ho, ho, ho! I'm proud of you, laddie. 196 00:11:22,291 --> 00:11:24,041 (both speaking Spanish) 197 00:11:27,291 --> 00:11:29,542 I am--I am just so thrilled you all showed up. 198 00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:34,458 -BOTH: Stan! -Hi, guys. 199 00:11:34,542 --> 00:11:37,375 -Stan! (laughs) -Booger! 200 00:11:37,458 --> 00:11:40,041 -Great to see you. -You too. 201 00:11:40,125 --> 00:11:42,250 Oh, Betty, you're gonna make such a pretty mom. 202 00:11:44,041 --> 00:11:46,125 Stan, you are such a nerd. 203 00:11:46,208 --> 00:11:49,375 Yeah, I sure am. I'm selling software up in Silicon Valley. 204 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,583 -Ah, that's fantastic. -Yeah, I've never been happier in my whole life. 205 00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,458 (both guffawing) 206 00:11:55,125 --> 00:11:58,041 (chanting) 207 00:11:58,125 --> 00:12:01,250 Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! 208 00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:03,375 -Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! -(moans) 209 00:12:03,458 --> 00:12:06,083 Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! 210 00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:08,166 Nerds! Nerds...Nerds. 211 00:12:10,166 --> 00:12:14,000 Hey, it looks like you're breaking out. 212 00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:16,792 What are you talking about? I've always had a perfect complexion. 213 00:12:18,083 --> 00:12:19,959 I think you've got the chicken pox. 214 00:12:27,792 --> 00:12:29,542 Easy on the sauce, Aaron. 215 00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:31,750 You don't think I'm gonna go through this sober? 216 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,417 Come on. Relax. It's not as bad as all that. 217 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:36,959 What is this dog hair doing here? We don't have a dog. 218 00:12:37,041 --> 00:12:38,083 ROMEO: Excuse me. 219 00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:40,542 Uh, do you prefer the salad forks to be chilled, 220 00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:42,709 or the salad plates or both? 221 00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:45,375 -Well, I-- -Figure it out. 222 00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:47,792 -Aaron! -Oh, I never. 223 00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:52,125 I cannot work in a vacuum. I need input. I need feedback. 224 00:12:52,208 --> 00:12:54,583 -Romeo! Romeo! -(mumbling) 225 00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:57,458 This is so unfair. 226 00:12:57,542 --> 00:13:00,250 No one told me that I would be catering a wedding for a bunch 227 00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:01,709 of nerds. 228 00:13:01,792 --> 00:13:04,250 Romeo, don't leave, please. Please, no, no! 229 00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:07,000 -MAN: Eugene! Eugene! -(horn honks) 230 00:13:15,375 --> 00:13:17,083 (mouthing words) 231 00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:21,542 Well, it looks as though the happy event is about to begin. 232 00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:25,667 I worked hard my whole life. 233 00:13:25,750 --> 00:13:31,208 I started out at 13 selling cheap porcelain knickknacks door-to-door. 234 00:13:31,709 --> 00:13:33,583 You know how hard that is? 235 00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:36,125 After she marries that nose-picking "jibony," 236 00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:38,333 I can kiss my political career good-bye. 237 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:40,792 -Yeah. -Yeah. 238 00:13:40,875 --> 00:13:44,041 And you can kiss taking over Humphrey Industries good-bye. 239 00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:50,166 LEWIS: Yeah, I know. Maybe he'll let you guys live here. You'll have your own computer room. 240 00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:54,083 You know, there's two days before the wedding. 241 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:57,291 -A lot of things could happen. -Like what? 242 00:13:57,375 --> 00:14:00,875 Engagements get canceled all the time for all sorts of reasons. 243 00:14:00,959 --> 00:14:03,000 You mean break up the wedding? 244 00:14:03,083 --> 00:14:05,834 We all want what's best for the family. 245 00:14:05,917 --> 00:14:08,500 Break up my daughter's wedding? 246 00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:11,291 Don't even think about it. You-you got a nasty mind, Chip. 247 00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:13,834 I hate when you have a nasty mind. Break up my daughter's wedding. 248 00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:15,750 Geez. 249 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:23,000 In addition to ruining any chance of a political career, 250 00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:24,834 think for one minute... 251 00:14:24,917 --> 00:14:27,583 what this will do to the family tree. 252 00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:44,750 You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, 253 00:14:44,834 --> 00:14:47,333 but you can't pick your relatives. 254 00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:54,166 Do whatever you have to do. 255 00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:02,750 ♪♪ 256 00:15:05,750 --> 00:15:07,542 Smile pretty. Smile pretty. 257 00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:10,166 -(camera clicks) -Thank you. 258 00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,709 Name tags. Name tags, anyone? 259 00:15:12,792 --> 00:15:15,041 TAKASHI: Right there. Right there, a picture. 260 00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:16,417 -Excuse me. -(camera clicks) 261 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,917 Would you like a "Hello. My name is" tag? 262 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,083 How nerdy can you get? 263 00:15:21,166 --> 00:15:24,750 Lois, what on earth are all these nerds doing here? 264 00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:26,917 They're Booger's friends. 265 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,417 (scoffs) Well, Aaron and Tippy must just be sick. 266 00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,834 Oh, Tippy seems okay, but it's killing my brother. 267 00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:37,583 Daddy. 268 00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:39,500 Hi. Lewis Skolnick, best man. 269 00:15:41,166 --> 00:15:44,709 -Figures. -Booger is just crazy about your daughter. 270 00:15:44,792 --> 00:15:47,792 He's gonna make a wonderful husband, and that's all that really matters. 271 00:15:47,875 --> 00:15:49,917 -Right. -Y'know, once you get to know Booger, 272 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,583 -you'll be very happy with what you see. -(slurping) 273 00:15:52,667 --> 00:15:55,625 I'll be very happy when I get away from you. 274 00:15:55,709 --> 00:15:58,792 (guffawing) 275 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,417 MAN: Aaron, my dear man, I'm so sorry. 276 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,792 (chattering continues) 277 00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:06,834 You know, Booger, 278 00:16:06,917 --> 00:16:09,500 I do sense a bit of friction with your future father-in-law. 279 00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:11,583 -Friction? -Mm-hmm. 280 00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:13,417 He hates my guts. 281 00:16:15,333 --> 00:16:16,333 Say hi to Stan. 282 00:16:16,417 --> 00:16:18,250 -(radio clicks) -Stan, this is Lewis. Come in. 283 00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:20,667 I read you. I read you, Lewis. Over. 284 00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:23,917 Yeah, I just wanted to see how you're feeling, man. 285 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,166 Oh, pretty good. Just such a bummer I got the chicken pox. 286 00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:30,792 Y'know, I guess I was just too cool to get them as a kid. (laughs) 287 00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:34,166 Well, you know, sometimes we just have to play the cards we're dealt with. 288 00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:38,500 Yeah. You're always so perceptive, Lewis. I wish I could be like you. 289 00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:40,542 Give it time, Stan. Over and out. 290 00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:44,583 (slurping) 291 00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:48,166 Excuse me, Mr. Lewis, Mr. Booger. 292 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:50,875 Why is that buttocks squished up against the window 293 00:16:50,959 --> 00:16:53,166 -like a pressed Devonshire ham? -(screams) 294 00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:54,250 Ogre! 295 00:16:57,583 --> 00:17:00,208 -Lewey! -Ogre! How are you? 296 00:17:00,291 --> 00:17:02,375 -How you doing? See it? -Yeah, I saw it. 297 00:17:02,458 --> 00:17:04,625 -That's Ogre. -Oh. 298 00:17:04,709 --> 00:17:08,333 -Ogre! Ahhh...! -Little buddy! How you doing? 299 00:17:08,417 --> 00:17:11,166 (chanting) 300 00:17:11,250 --> 00:17:15,667 Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! 301 00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,333 This is the worst party we've ever been to. Good night. 302 00:17:18,417 --> 00:17:21,917 This was unbelievable. Thank God my daughter's a lesbian. 303 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,083 -Ogre! Ogre! -Hey, did you see my buns? 304 00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:29,166 -Uh-oh. -What? Who is it? 305 00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:33,208 -Mylan Whitfield. -Huh? 306 00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:35,291 The chairman of the Republican party. 307 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:42,208 Nice of you to come, Mylan. Could I get you a drink? 308 00:17:42,291 --> 00:17:44,875 The strongest one you've got. 309 00:17:44,959 --> 00:17:48,625 (belching) 310 00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:54,125 (belching continues) 311 00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:02,083 -I think this is a record. -(continues belching) 312 00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:04,625 -(all laughing) -OGRE: Still the world's champ. 313 00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:08,583 -I drink to that. -Heyyy... 314 00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:11,792 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 315 00:18:11,875 --> 00:18:14,417 That's your future son-in-law. 316 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:17,667 And now a very special treat. 317 00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:24,083 -My fiancée's turn. -Oh. 318 00:18:24,166 --> 00:18:28,417 Oh, no, Jeanie, please. Don't, don't, don't do it, please. Please, don't, please. 319 00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,709 Okay. Okay. 320 00:18:32,792 --> 00:18:34,542 Don't do it, please. Don't do it. 321 00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:37,667 (gulps, belches) 322 00:18:43,959 --> 00:18:48,083 -She's doing a good job. -(mumbling, belches) 323 00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:50,417 Booger must be so proud. 324 00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:53,125 -(belching) -(applause) 325 00:18:53,208 --> 00:18:55,000 Wow! Can you believe it? 326 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,417 -Whoo! -She's got the croup. 327 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:07,250 My Jeanie, she can belch with the best of them. 328 00:19:10,709 --> 00:19:12,333 Hey, your sorority sisters are here. 329 00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:14,458 OGRE: It's the Omega Mu's. 330 00:19:14,542 --> 00:19:17,709 (all mooing) 331 00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:25,083 They're all voters, Mylan. 332 00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:27,625 Booger! Booger! Booger! 333 00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,667 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 334 00:19:30,750 --> 00:19:31,667 (mic feedback) 335 00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:34,208 Why are they always chanting? 336 00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:39,333 You see, the younger generation today, they--they-- 337 00:19:39,417 --> 00:19:41,709 I think it's kind of fun. 338 00:19:41,792 --> 00:19:43,250 You're wearing two different socks. 339 00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:47,834 BOOGER: Well, (clears throat) I wanna welcome you all to the wedding 340 00:19:47,917 --> 00:19:50,000 that none of us ever thought would happen. 341 00:19:50,083 --> 00:19:54,125 -(all cheering) -I guess hell must have frozen over after all. 342 00:19:54,208 --> 00:19:56,709 (all laughing) 343 00:19:56,792 --> 00:19:58,250 Come on now. 344 00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:02,166 -♪♪ (rim shot) -Boom! 345 00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:05,959 But, Jeanie, you don't know about this, 346 00:20:06,041 --> 00:20:09,542 but I'm going to sing a little song for you. 347 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:14,458 It's something that I think of whenever I think of you. 348 00:20:14,959 --> 00:20:17,000 -WOMAN: Awww. -WOMAN #2: So romantic. 349 00:20:20,458 --> 00:20:21,959 MAN: Nice spot light. 350 00:20:23,792 --> 00:20:26,291 ♪♪ (keyboard) 351 00:20:28,458 --> 00:20:32,500 ♪ Jean, Jean ♪ 352 00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:35,291 ♪ Roses are red ♪ 353 00:20:37,625 --> 00:20:40,333 ♪ And all the leaves ♪ 354 00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:42,625 ♪ Have gone green ♪ 355 00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:48,875 ♪ And the clouds are so low ♪ 356 00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:52,500 ♪ You can touch them and so ♪ 357 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,792 ♪ Come on out to the meadow ♪ 358 00:20:57,875 --> 00:21:00,500 ♪ Jean ♪ 359 00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:06,083 ♪ Jean, Jean ♪ 360 00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:10,375 ♪ You're young and alive ♪ 361 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:17,041 ♪ Come out of your half dreamed dream ♪ 362 00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:18,625 Sorry, Aaron. Gotta go. 363 00:21:18,709 --> 00:21:20,250 You will come to the bridal shower? 364 00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:23,041 No can do. Important engagement. 365 00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:26,208 ♪ If you will to the top of the hill ♪ 366 00:21:26,291 --> 00:21:27,792 I thought you were gonna do something. 367 00:21:27,875 --> 00:21:28,834 I'm working on it. 368 00:21:28,917 --> 00:21:30,917 I'm gonna start first thing in the morning. 369 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,625 Start now, doofus. 370 00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:36,583 ♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪ 371 00:21:36,667 --> 00:21:38,208 Oh. 372 00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:41,792 ♪♪ (piano ends) 373 00:21:41,875 --> 00:21:44,291 (applause) 374 00:21:44,375 --> 00:21:46,458 For those of you in the audience here 375 00:21:46,542 --> 00:21:50,125 who are blues aficionados, we have a little, uh-- 376 00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:53,125 It's a little bit dissonant, but I think you'll like it, 377 00:21:53,208 --> 00:21:55,917 'cause with the fluteophones, it's kind of special. 378 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,709 Flutes up. 379 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,125 A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three. 380 00:22:03,208 --> 00:22:05,583 -WOMAN: Even I can't take this. Good night. -♪♪ (playing of key) 381 00:22:12,375 --> 00:22:16,333 ♪ Many were the wild notes her merry voice would pour ♪ 382 00:22:16,417 --> 00:22:22,125 ♪ Many were the blackbirds that wobbled them all ♪ 383 00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:28,208 TREVOR: ♪ Oh, I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair ♪ 384 00:22:28,291 --> 00:22:32,166 MAN: ♪ Yo, sexy boy just think of me ♪ 385 00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:35,208 ♪ As your love toy Come wind me up ♪ 386 00:22:35,291 --> 00:22:39,083 ♪♪ (continues, indistinct) 387 00:22:41,542 --> 00:22:43,458 JEANIE (laughing): Hi guys! 388 00:22:43,542 --> 00:22:46,125 -LEWIS: Hey! -BOOGER: (laughing) 389 00:22:46,208 --> 00:22:48,291 -Hey, can I cut in? -Sure thing. 390 00:22:50,583 --> 00:22:52,583 BOOGER: If I may. 391 00:22:53,583 --> 00:22:58,166 Betty, pregnant women have always made me boggy. 392 00:22:58,250 --> 00:23:02,041 Oh, Booger. You're just incorrigible. 393 00:23:02,125 --> 00:23:04,375 -I try to be. -(laughing) 394 00:23:04,458 --> 00:23:06,250 Excuse me. 395 00:23:06,333 --> 00:23:10,500 I just want you to know that I'm really happy for you. 396 00:23:10,583 --> 00:23:13,375 Booger lets you be yourself, 397 00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:17,083 and I really like what I see. 398 00:23:17,291 --> 00:23:21,041 I can't believe this is coming out of the mouth of my perfect sister. 399 00:23:21,125 --> 00:23:25,166 Who knows? Maybe this wedding has really brought us together. 400 00:23:27,750 --> 00:23:29,208 I love you, Jeanie. 401 00:23:29,291 --> 00:23:31,375 I love you, Gaylord. 402 00:23:31,458 --> 00:23:34,792 -(sobbing) -Oh! 403 00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,709 Oh, girls. 404 00:23:41,542 --> 00:23:44,709 Once you go nerd, you'll never go back. 405 00:23:44,792 --> 00:23:47,625 (all laughing) 406 00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:51,500 I would just die for your cheekbones. 407 00:23:52,166 --> 00:23:53,625 Oh. 408 00:23:58,834 --> 00:24:01,000 Hey, handsome. 409 00:24:03,291 --> 00:24:04,667 Wanna dance? 410 00:24:05,458 --> 00:24:07,291 (exhales) Sure. 411 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,000 BOOGER: Good show, Harold. 412 00:24:23,208 --> 00:24:25,834 MAN: ♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ 413 00:24:25,917 --> 00:24:29,667 ♪ Just think of me as your love toy ♪ 414 00:24:29,750 --> 00:24:32,959 ♪ Come wind me up Don't need no keys ♪ 415 00:24:33,041 --> 00:24:34,917 ♪ Just pull the strings ♪ 416 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,792 What a prenuptial party. 417 00:24:37,875 --> 00:24:41,834 Really, so enjoyable. Just tremendous. (whistles) 418 00:24:41,917 --> 00:24:45,792 ♪ I'll bring you joy I'll make you dance ♪ 419 00:24:45,875 --> 00:24:47,792 ♪ I'll make you shake this sexy boy ♪ 420 00:24:47,875 --> 00:24:51,291 TIPPY: Jeanie and her friends are having a good time. 421 00:24:51,375 --> 00:24:54,125 Everybody who's important is gone. 422 00:24:54,208 --> 00:24:57,792 What an embarrassment. No, no, no, look. Your sister's still here. 423 00:24:57,875 --> 00:25:01,125 ♪♪ (continues, indistinct) 424 00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:04,542 My sister stays to the end of supermarket openings. 425 00:25:04,625 --> 00:25:06,959 BOOGER: Hey, Takashi, whatever happened to Gilbert? 426 00:25:07,041 --> 00:25:08,333 Mrs. Humphrey, 427 00:25:08,417 --> 00:25:09,959 -Yes? -Can I have this dance? 428 00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:12,959 -Oh, I don't think I could. -I think you could. 429 00:25:13,041 --> 00:25:15,750 (laughs) There's a little nerd in everyone. 430 00:25:17,417 --> 00:25:19,542 There's no nerd in me, pal. 431 00:25:19,625 --> 00:25:23,500 ♪ I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ 432 00:25:23,583 --> 00:25:27,875 ♪ Believe me I'm the real McCoy ♪ 433 00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:30,458 -♪♪ (continues, indistinct) -(belches) 434 00:25:30,542 --> 00:25:33,375 Yo! Mama-san! 435 00:25:35,250 --> 00:25:38,709 -(kiaiing) -Lois, wait! 436 00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:41,500 (shuddering) 437 00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:46,917 ♪ I wanna be I wanna be your sexy boy ♪ 438 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,458 ♪ Your sexy boy ♪ 439 00:25:54,625 --> 00:25:56,709 ♪ Turn out the lights ♪ 440 00:25:56,792 --> 00:25:58,750 TIPPY: Hey, you nerds really know how to party. 441 00:25:58,834 --> 00:26:01,333 (Lewis guffaws) 442 00:26:01,417 --> 00:26:03,333 BOOGER: I'm just getting started, baby. 443 00:26:03,417 --> 00:26:06,667 Romeo, have you seen Chip? 444 00:26:06,750 --> 00:26:10,834 Oh, sure, that's exactly what I have on my mind, worrying about where Chip is. 445 00:26:10,917 --> 00:26:14,542 Oh, gee, where could Chip be? Here, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip. 446 00:26:14,625 --> 00:26:17,250 Here, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip. 447 00:26:17,333 --> 00:26:19,792 How would you like to lose about 12 teeth? 448 00:26:20,834 --> 00:26:22,792 Bitch. 449 00:26:29,625 --> 00:26:32,083 CHIP: I'm looking for dirt, scandal, 450 00:26:32,166 --> 00:26:34,291 some deviant behavior, 451 00:26:34,375 --> 00:26:37,792 a skeleton in a closet that would be so horrible, 452 00:26:37,875 --> 00:26:40,083 it would break up a wedding. 453 00:26:40,166 --> 00:26:42,208 And money's no object. 454 00:26:42,291 --> 00:26:44,583 -(chair squeaks) -How did you find me? 455 00:26:44,667 --> 00:26:46,417 Let's just say through a friend. 456 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:48,583 And why do you wanna ruin the wedding? 457 00:26:48,667 --> 00:26:51,417 Well, my father-in-law's thinking of getting into politics, 458 00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:53,542 and the groom would ruin his chances. 459 00:26:53,625 --> 00:26:56,041 And if the father-in-law doesn't enter the political arena, 460 00:26:56,125 --> 00:26:58,250 you don't take over the family business. 461 00:26:58,333 --> 00:27:03,000 Yes. Well, I suppose that would happen, but that's not my major concern. 462 00:27:04,166 --> 00:27:08,291 -It's nerds, isn't it? -How did you know that? 463 00:27:08,375 --> 00:27:11,583 -I'm a detective. -Wow. 464 00:27:11,667 --> 00:27:15,125 I had a case with nerds a couple months ago. 465 00:27:15,208 --> 00:27:18,625 -They can be very slippery. -(chair squeaks) 466 00:27:18,709 --> 00:27:20,458 How do I know you're any good? 467 00:27:20,542 --> 00:27:22,792 (sighs) You know the dirt on the royal family? 468 00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:24,375 You? 469 00:27:25,583 --> 00:27:27,792 (laughs) Well, let's do business. 470 00:27:27,875 --> 00:27:29,542 -(chair squeaks) -All right. 471 00:27:33,750 --> 00:27:36,333 -What's the groom's name? -Uh, Dudley Dawson. 472 00:27:36,417 --> 00:27:38,709 But his friends call him "Booger." 473 00:27:40,250 --> 00:27:43,250 -Well, that's the first thing in our favor. -What-what's that? 474 00:27:43,333 --> 00:27:48,417 With a name like Booger, it shouldn't be too hard to get dirt on him. Right? 475 00:27:49,750 --> 00:27:51,542 TREVOR: Good night, Mr. Ogre. 476 00:27:53,750 --> 00:27:55,709 OGRE: Good night, Trevor. 477 00:27:55,792 --> 00:27:57,959 TAKASHI: Good night, Lamar. 478 00:27:58,041 --> 00:28:00,333 -STAN: Good night, Judy. -JUDY: Good night, Stan. 479 00:28:00,417 --> 00:28:02,542 LAMAR: Good night, Takashi. 480 00:28:04,458 --> 00:28:05,834 (toenail clangs in can) 481 00:28:05,917 --> 00:28:08,333 -Betty. -Hmm? 482 00:28:08,417 --> 00:28:11,333 Why can't we videotape the birth? 483 00:28:11,417 --> 00:28:14,667 I just don't want the whole world to see my privates. 484 00:28:14,750 --> 00:28:17,166 But I've already bought a high-definition, 485 00:28:17,250 --> 00:28:19,542 Dolby stereo, 3-D helmet cam. 486 00:28:21,208 --> 00:28:23,834 You know you'll show the video to someone. 487 00:28:23,917 --> 00:28:27,333 I'm really surprised at you, Betty. 488 00:28:27,417 --> 00:28:30,667 Not having the confidence to think that I wouldn't show the video to someone. 489 00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,625 (sighs) 490 00:28:34,959 --> 00:28:36,625 -Maybe I would. -(toenails clanging) 491 00:28:37,959 --> 00:28:40,542 -I probably would. -Hmm. 492 00:28:40,625 --> 00:28:43,875 I definitely would, but it's only because no one is prouder than I am 493 00:28:43,959 --> 00:28:46,542 of our unborn fetal son. 494 00:28:46,625 --> 00:28:48,583 And your privates. (guffaws) 495 00:28:48,667 --> 00:28:52,041 Lewis Tarada Skolnick! 496 00:28:52,125 --> 00:28:54,041 Ow! Betty, I was only kidding. 497 00:28:54,125 --> 00:28:56,667 -Ow! -Are you all right, honey? 498 00:28:56,750 --> 00:28:59,792 I'm fine. I just have a little side ache. Ohhh... 499 00:29:03,291 --> 00:29:05,709 You are so wonderful. 500 00:29:05,792 --> 00:29:08,041 I bet I'm the only woman in America 501 00:29:08,125 --> 00:29:11,709 to have a certified midwife as a husband. 502 00:29:11,792 --> 00:29:16,083 That's because I don't want anybody but me delivering our unborn baby son. 503 00:29:16,166 --> 00:29:18,750 -(giggles) -Hey, Betty. 504 00:29:18,834 --> 00:29:21,583 -Hmm? -Would you like to have some pickles and ice cream? 505 00:29:21,667 --> 00:29:23,458 Pickles, ice cream. Pickles, ice cream. 506 00:29:23,542 --> 00:29:25,750 I would love some pickles and ice cream. 507 00:29:25,834 --> 00:29:28,500 -Oh, yea, Mama. -I'll be right back. 508 00:29:30,834 --> 00:29:33,917 Oh, honey, I don't want you to go now. It's after 3:00. 509 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,792 If my unborn fetal son and my beloved wife 510 00:29:36,875 --> 00:29:39,375 want pickles and ice cream, I don't care what time it is. 511 00:29:39,458 --> 00:29:41,750 -(giggles) -Eskimo kiss? 512 00:29:41,834 --> 00:29:43,917 -Butterfly. -Eskimo. 513 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,166 -Butterfly. Butterfly. -Eskimo. Eskimo. 514 00:29:50,166 --> 00:29:52,750 I love you, you big nerd. 515 00:29:52,834 --> 00:29:56,875 I know you are, but what am I? (guffaws) 516 00:29:59,542 --> 00:30:02,625 -Booger. -Hey, Lewis. Where you going? 517 00:30:02,709 --> 00:30:05,000 Oh, I was just gonna take a cruise in the party truck 518 00:30:05,083 --> 00:30:06,959 and get Betty some pickles and ice cream. 519 00:30:07,041 --> 00:30:10,750 -You're gonna make the best father. -You really think so? 520 00:30:11,709 --> 00:30:13,667 I know so. 521 00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:15,834 Hey, you wanna come with? 522 00:30:16,667 --> 00:30:18,041 No. 523 00:30:20,083 --> 00:30:22,834 -Are you feeling all right, Booger? -Lewis... 524 00:30:23,375 --> 00:30:25,125 I'm gonna say something to you 525 00:30:25,208 --> 00:30:27,542 that I would never tell anybody else in the world. 526 00:30:32,917 --> 00:30:34,834 I'm a little scared. 527 00:30:34,917 --> 00:30:36,917 Scared? You? 528 00:30:38,750 --> 00:30:40,583 Well, what are you scared about, Booger? 529 00:30:42,959 --> 00:30:46,834 I've been single a long time, Lewis. 530 00:30:46,917 --> 00:30:50,250 I've enjoyed a lot of Mu's. 531 00:30:50,875 --> 00:30:52,375 My life has been blessed. 532 00:30:52,458 --> 00:30:55,959 (chuckles) And they've enjoyed you too, pal. (laughs) 533 00:30:56,041 --> 00:30:58,125 Now I'm hanging it all up. 534 00:30:59,375 --> 00:31:04,458 But what happens if I run into a woman who really curdles my blood? 535 00:31:04,542 --> 00:31:07,333 'Cause you know me, Lewis. You know how it is. 536 00:31:07,417 --> 00:31:11,542 Our eyes meet across a crowded room, and bammo. 537 00:31:12,542 --> 00:31:15,000 We're talkin' "nutso" time. 538 00:31:15,083 --> 00:31:19,041 Bananas. We're talking out of my brains, 539 00:31:19,125 --> 00:31:22,250 can't control the faculties, the mind follows the genitals time. 540 00:31:22,333 --> 00:31:24,375 Because that's what happens, Lewis, 541 00:31:24,458 --> 00:31:29,375 anytime I meet a woman who really makes me wanna take a bath. 542 00:31:29,458 --> 00:31:33,709 Well, I have manly urges too, Booger, I mean, like any other red-blooded American male. 543 00:31:33,792 --> 00:31:36,709 Well, of course you do. How do you handle it? 544 00:31:36,792 --> 00:31:39,250 I just think of Betty or computers. 545 00:31:39,333 --> 00:31:43,000 No, see, not me. (exhales) 546 00:31:44,792 --> 00:31:49,083 I'm like a train wreck on the Long Island Railroad. 547 00:31:49,166 --> 00:31:54,583 I may see trouble down the tracks, but this trainman can't pull the switch. 548 00:31:54,667 --> 00:31:57,083 Well, nobody likes to party more than I do, Booger. 549 00:31:57,166 --> 00:31:59,750 Except for maybe you. 550 00:31:59,834 --> 00:32:04,125 But my life got so much better since I married Betty. And yours is going to too, 551 00:32:04,208 --> 00:32:06,750 provided you're ready to compromise 552 00:32:06,834 --> 00:32:10,083 and work hard, incredibly hard, on your impending union with Jean. 553 00:32:10,166 --> 00:32:12,542 -You have to work really hard, huh? -Uh huh. 554 00:32:12,625 --> 00:32:14,542 I mean, it's not any harder than, say, 555 00:32:14,625 --> 00:32:16,083 designing cornering velocities for the Japanese Bullet Train. 556 00:32:16,166 --> 00:32:20,792 But you should get some sleep. I mean, tomorrow is a huge day for you. 557 00:32:20,875 --> 00:32:24,750 You got the all-you-can-eat nerd bridal shower at the Rump Roast Room at noon. 558 00:32:24,834 --> 00:32:28,875 And then there's my surprise theme bachelor stag party at night. 559 00:32:28,959 --> 00:32:30,875 You forgot about that, didn't you? 560 00:32:31,959 --> 00:32:33,917 You're gonna nail me, aren't you? 561 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,208 You're darn tootin'. See ya, Booger. 562 00:32:37,291 --> 00:32:40,041 -Hey, Lewis. -Yeah? 563 00:32:41,583 --> 00:32:43,041 Thanks. 564 00:32:45,417 --> 00:32:47,250 I love you, Booger. 565 00:32:48,667 --> 00:32:50,542 I love you too. 566 00:32:57,542 --> 00:33:00,583 ♪♪ 567 00:33:12,417 --> 00:33:14,625 Bibs, anyone? 568 00:33:14,709 --> 00:33:16,500 LEWIS: Don't be bashful. It's all you can eat. 569 00:33:16,583 --> 00:33:20,625 So, uh, Russia's in, you know, bad shape. 570 00:33:20,709 --> 00:33:23,709 Decentralization of the economy and the privatization of industry, 571 00:33:23,792 --> 00:33:26,166 while, you know, leading to these personal freedoms, 572 00:33:26,250 --> 00:33:28,500 it's cost some great hardships. 573 00:33:28,583 --> 00:33:32,709 That's why I, Ogre, I think I'm gonna go over there and see if I can help them out. 574 00:33:32,792 --> 00:33:35,083 You know what I mean? That's no good. 575 00:33:37,959 --> 00:33:40,709 (laughing) 576 00:33:40,792 --> 00:33:42,959 (gasps) 577 00:33:43,041 --> 00:33:46,333 -What the-- -Say "cheese." 578 00:33:46,417 --> 00:33:50,250 -BOTH: Cheese. -TAKASHI: Okay, now stay there, stay there. 579 00:33:52,083 --> 00:33:56,291 -Lewis to Stan, Lewis to Stan. Come in, Stan. -I read you Lewis. Over. 580 00:33:56,375 --> 00:33:59,333 Uh, listen. This is your 2:00 pox report. How-how you feeling, Stan? 581 00:33:59,417 --> 00:34:02,291 Much better now, thanks to Judy. 582 00:34:02,375 --> 00:34:05,333 If you don't take care of the pox, they can scab and leave scars. 583 00:34:05,417 --> 00:34:07,875 -Over and out. -Honey. 584 00:34:07,959 --> 00:34:11,208 -Hmm? -What's Trevor Gulf doing? 585 00:34:11,291 --> 00:34:13,875 I-I think he's mooning us. 586 00:34:13,959 --> 00:34:15,834 That's not a moon. That's the San Joaquin Valley. 587 00:34:15,917 --> 00:34:20,041 -Trevor, no! -Oh, big smile. 588 00:34:20,125 --> 00:34:23,917 Trevor, come on. It isn't nice to moon. 589 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,333 -Oh, it isn't? -No, it isn't. 590 00:34:27,417 --> 00:34:30,834 -Mr. Ogre mooned. -Well, you see, Trevor, 591 00:34:30,917 --> 00:34:33,875 Mr. Ogre's a converted nerd, okay? 592 00:34:33,959 --> 00:34:37,875 He used to be a jock. He's still a little rough around the edges. 593 00:34:37,959 --> 00:34:40,458 Jacques? Is he from France? 594 00:34:42,917 --> 00:34:45,375 (guffaws) 595 00:34:45,458 --> 00:34:49,291 -My condolences, Aaron. -You gotta take the good with the bad. 596 00:34:49,375 --> 00:34:52,333 -Sorry, Aaron. -Hey, if it's not one thing, it's another. 597 00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:55,750 Mylan, thank you for coming. 598 00:34:55,834 --> 00:34:57,792 Thank you for sending the limo for me. 599 00:34:57,875 --> 00:35:00,625 Thank you for sending the bauble to my secretary. 600 00:35:00,709 --> 00:35:03,792 And the entire party thanks you for sending the check. 601 00:35:03,875 --> 00:35:06,583 -Just being a good Republican, Mylan. -Hmm, hmm... 602 00:35:06,667 --> 00:35:08,500 Come along, dear. 603 00:35:09,709 --> 00:35:11,792 Nice seeing you again, Flo. 604 00:35:15,333 --> 00:35:18,583 -I've done a little homework on Dudley "Booger" Dawson. -Oh, yeah? 605 00:35:18,667 --> 00:35:20,917 -He's an attorney all right. -Well, that's good. 606 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,041 A personal injury attorney. 607 00:35:23,834 --> 00:35:25,792 He's an ambulance chaser? 608 00:35:26,834 --> 00:35:28,667 It just gets worse. 609 00:35:29,834 --> 00:35:33,166 -Well, it'll all be over soon. -What are you gonna do? 610 00:35:33,250 --> 00:35:35,709 You just get ready for a bombshell. 611 00:35:39,709 --> 00:35:42,291 Ogre, thanks, man. 612 00:35:42,375 --> 00:35:45,417 That's--That's really thoughtful. 613 00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:47,625 It was really expensive. (chuckles) 614 00:35:47,709 --> 00:35:53,041 So, uh, I guess it's on to Lewis and Betty's present, huh? 615 00:35:59,333 --> 00:36:01,625 -(all gasping) -Oh, wow! 616 00:36:01,709 --> 00:36:05,792 -WOMAN: Look at that. -A ski exerciser! 617 00:36:05,875 --> 00:36:08,792 I've been dying for one of these! 618 00:36:08,875 --> 00:36:12,542 -Have you? -Boss! 619 00:36:12,625 --> 00:36:16,125 They now have anything ever sold on an infomercial. 620 00:36:16,208 --> 00:36:17,875 Oh, shut up, Aaron. 621 00:36:17,959 --> 00:36:21,875 TAKASHI: Hey, everybody, everybody, Booger's parents are here! 622 00:36:21,959 --> 00:36:25,208 Mr. and Mrs. Booger! Mr. and Mrs. Booger! 623 00:36:25,291 --> 00:36:26,166 (applause) 624 00:36:26,250 --> 00:36:29,417 Mom? Dad! 625 00:36:33,041 --> 00:36:35,542 They look like they just fell off a pickle truck. (laughs) 626 00:36:35,625 --> 00:36:36,709 -Chip! -Ow! 627 00:36:36,792 --> 00:36:40,667 Folks, everybody, excuse me. These are my parents. 628 00:36:40,750 --> 00:36:41,667 -Oh! -Oh! 629 00:36:41,750 --> 00:36:43,458 (shutter clicks) 630 00:36:46,250 --> 00:36:49,500 We're so glad that you're here, Mr. and Mrs. Dawson. 631 00:36:49,583 --> 00:36:51,667 (cheering) 632 00:36:53,083 --> 00:36:55,917 I am flabbergasted. 633 00:36:56,000 --> 00:37:00,083 We would both like to thank all of you from the bottom of our hearts 634 00:37:00,166 --> 00:37:03,500 for this wonderful shower you're throwing us. 635 00:37:03,583 --> 00:37:07,291 It's probably the first shower he's ever had. (guffaws) 636 00:37:10,834 --> 00:37:14,041 MR. DAWSON: No, he showered regularly. Every other night in the summer, 637 00:37:14,125 --> 00:37:15,959 and weekly in the winter. 638 00:37:25,083 --> 00:37:29,208 Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to jump off the dock. 639 00:37:29,291 --> 00:37:33,583 -Yeah! -Hold it, everybody. 640 00:37:33,667 --> 00:37:36,709 I'd like to offer my toast. 641 00:37:36,792 --> 00:37:38,875 ALL: Yeah. Yeah. 642 00:37:38,959 --> 00:37:42,000 WOMAN: Get the glass. Oh, here, take this. 643 00:37:43,375 --> 00:37:45,041 To Booger's love child. 644 00:37:49,041 --> 00:37:51,166 Love child? What are - -what are you talking about? 645 00:37:53,041 --> 00:37:55,709 I'm talking about the daughter you had 12 years ago, 646 00:37:55,792 --> 00:37:59,583 out of wedlock, with a young woman in Sandusky, Ohio. 647 00:37:59,667 --> 00:38:02,166 All right, Booger! Yeah, bud! 648 00:38:04,542 --> 00:38:10,375 You have a child that my little girl doesn't know about? 649 00:38:10,458 --> 00:38:13,041 I am appalled, Booger. Appalled. 650 00:38:13,125 --> 00:38:16,291 -And so is my wife. Right? See? -But-- 651 00:38:16,375 --> 00:38:18,291 I don't know anything about this. 652 00:38:18,375 --> 00:38:21,125 I have no child in Sandusky, Ohio. 653 00:38:21,208 --> 00:38:23,792 -The hell you don't! -(all gasp) 654 00:38:23,875 --> 00:38:26,583 This is a fairly specious charge. 655 00:38:26,667 --> 00:38:29,166 Where's your proof, Chip? 656 00:38:29,250 --> 00:38:30,959 Yeah, where's your proof, Chip? 657 00:38:31,041 --> 00:38:32,542 ALL: Yeah. 658 00:38:33,750 --> 00:38:35,542 My proof is right here. 659 00:38:37,709 --> 00:38:41,667 I'd like you to meet Detective First Class Chad Penrod. 660 00:38:41,750 --> 00:38:46,250 Detective Penrod, does Dudley Dawson, alias Booger, 661 00:38:46,333 --> 00:38:51,250 have or have not a 12-year-old child in Sandusky, Ohio? 662 00:38:51,333 --> 00:38:54,125 I checked the birth records in Sandusky and found 663 00:38:54,208 --> 00:38:56,667 that on March 19, 1981, 664 00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:59,166 a certain Heidi Dawson 665 00:38:59,250 --> 00:39:01,875 was born to a Miss Cathleen Turtle-- 666 00:39:01,959 --> 00:39:04,959 Turtletaub and a Mr. Dudley Dawson. 667 00:39:05,792 --> 00:39:08,500 -Cool. -Wait! 668 00:39:08,583 --> 00:39:12,000 If the parents of the alleged love child were never married, 669 00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:16,875 why isn't the child's name Heidi Turtletaub? 670 00:39:16,959 --> 00:39:21,291 Exactly. Why isn't the child's name Heidi Turtletaub? 671 00:39:21,375 --> 00:39:23,417 -Yes. -(neck bones crack) 672 00:39:25,750 --> 00:39:26,959 Beats me. 673 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,667 If the child were born to an unmarried mother, 674 00:39:30,750 --> 00:39:35,625 wouldn't the so-said mother have given the aforementioned daughter her last name? 675 00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:39,208 PENROD: Well, I do know this. 676 00:39:39,291 --> 00:39:42,208 The child's nickname is Booger. 677 00:39:42,291 --> 00:39:44,750 -(all gasp) -Yeah! 678 00:39:45,458 --> 00:39:46,875 I think we should leave, Jeanie. 679 00:39:46,959 --> 00:39:49,166 Oh. 680 00:39:49,250 --> 00:39:52,875 Do you wanna marry a man who doesn't tell you that he has a child? 681 00:39:52,959 --> 00:39:55,417 Who knows what he'll lie about next? 682 00:39:55,500 --> 00:39:58,208 You saw The Crying Game. 683 00:39:58,291 --> 00:40:01,083 How do we know he even is a man? 684 00:40:01,166 --> 00:40:04,417 -(gasps) -(all gasping) 685 00:40:04,500 --> 00:40:07,250 -LAMAR: Don't you touch me! -Get your hands off me! 686 00:40:07,333 --> 00:40:10,083 -LAMAR: Don't you touch me! -I caught you red-handed! 687 00:40:10,166 --> 00:40:12,250 -LAMAR: Get off of me! -LEWIS: Hey, break it up! 688 00:40:12,333 --> 00:40:16,041 -Break it up! -I'm gonna tell everybody! Don't you get me started. 689 00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:18,250 -I heard-- -Word! 690 00:40:18,333 --> 00:40:21,333 I can't believe what got into you two. This is supposed to be a happy occasion. 691 00:40:23,458 --> 00:40:26,250 I'm especially surprised at you, Lamar. 692 00:40:26,333 --> 00:40:28,709 Now what was going on? 693 00:40:28,792 --> 00:40:31,542 Well, Chip was crackin' on Booger's parents. 694 00:40:31,625 --> 00:40:33,792 Crackin' on my parents? 695 00:40:35,625 --> 00:40:37,792 What kind of cracks, Chip? 696 00:40:37,875 --> 00:40:41,250 -Booger. -Yeah, what kind? 697 00:40:41,333 --> 00:40:44,917 -As your best man, I strongly advise you just let it go. -I'm not going to let it go. 698 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,083 On the other hand, I'm prepared to explore other avenues with you as well. 699 00:40:48,166 --> 00:40:51,458 -What kind of cracks, Chip? -(stammering) 700 00:40:51,542 --> 00:40:54,959 Chip said that your mama was so ugly, that the Elephant Man paid to see her. 701 00:40:55,041 --> 00:40:57,166 (laughing) 702 00:41:01,375 --> 00:41:05,500 The point is you have a 12-year-old daughter in Sandusky, Ohio! 703 00:41:05,583 --> 00:41:10,625 This has nothing to do with my having a child in Sandusky, Ohio. 704 00:41:10,709 --> 00:41:12,709 That isn't what this is about at all. 705 00:41:14,375 --> 00:41:17,709 -This is because I'm a nerd. -(all gasping) 706 00:41:19,041 --> 00:41:20,834 And it has been since the beginning. 707 00:41:20,917 --> 00:41:23,125 Mm-hmm. 708 00:41:23,208 --> 00:41:26,500 Why else would someone rummage through my private life with a detective? 709 00:41:26,583 --> 00:41:31,458 And then announce this... detestable fabrication, 710 00:41:31,542 --> 00:41:35,166 this--this tissue of lies 711 00:41:35,250 --> 00:41:38,208 -on the happiest day of my life? -Oh, Booger. 712 00:41:39,917 --> 00:41:42,709 Hath not a nerd eyes? 713 00:41:44,417 --> 00:41:46,709 When you prick us, do we not bleed? 714 00:41:48,208 --> 00:41:51,959 I am tired of the reckless allegations, 715 00:41:52,041 --> 00:41:54,208 the snide snickering, 716 00:41:54,291 --> 00:41:57,458 the talking behind backs, the sly innuendos, 717 00:41:57,542 --> 00:41:59,917 the looking down on us. 718 00:42:03,250 --> 00:42:06,458 We are what we are. 719 00:42:06,542 --> 00:42:08,959 -Aren't we? -NERDS: We are! 720 00:42:09,041 --> 00:42:12,500 -And we're proud of what we are. -NERDS: We are! 721 00:42:12,583 --> 00:42:15,875 And we are not about to allow ourselves 722 00:42:15,959 --> 00:42:18,959 to be intimidated by a bunch of-- 723 00:42:19,041 --> 00:42:22,000 Booger, don't say it! 724 00:42:22,083 --> 00:42:27,125 -Say it, Booger! -Nouveau-riche pigs! 725 00:42:28,917 --> 00:42:30,667 OGRE: There you go. 726 00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:36,834 You have... the audacity... 727 00:42:36,917 --> 00:42:39,709 to utter the most... 728 00:42:39,792 --> 00:42:43,125 morally reprehensible slur to these... 729 00:42:44,583 --> 00:42:47,417 fine, upstanding, 730 00:42:47,500 --> 00:42:49,792 self-made businesspeople. 731 00:42:51,834 --> 00:42:54,583 Shame on you, Booger. 732 00:42:54,667 --> 00:42:56,709 Shame on all of you nerds. 733 00:42:56,792 --> 00:42:58,125 Ogre, no! 734 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,709 -(gasps) -WOMAN: Oh! 735 00:43:09,792 --> 00:43:12,041 The prosecution rests. 736 00:43:12,125 --> 00:43:15,000 I've had it with you nerds! 737 00:43:16,667 --> 00:43:18,500 All right, everyone, just cool it! 738 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,208 -Oh, what the hell. -We've got too much class for this kind of crap. 739 00:43:26,333 --> 00:43:28,750 -Booger! -Jeanie! 740 00:43:28,834 --> 00:43:32,375 -Booger! -TAKASHI: (yells) 741 00:43:33,959 --> 00:43:35,458 Ahhh! 742 00:43:39,667 --> 00:43:41,667 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaa! 743 00:43:52,083 --> 00:43:54,208 (woman shrieking) 744 00:44:16,542 --> 00:44:19,542 So you might have a daughter in Sandusky, Ohio, huh? 745 00:44:22,709 --> 00:44:25,375 (sighs) I don't know. 746 00:44:26,583 --> 00:44:28,500 It's certainly possible. 747 00:44:30,250 --> 00:44:35,250 God knows my seed is as strong as an Alaskan salmon. 748 00:44:37,083 --> 00:44:39,875 And I partied pretty hard in the early '80s. 749 00:44:41,417 --> 00:44:43,208 In Sandusky? 750 00:44:45,083 --> 00:44:48,500 Apart from Akron, I probably spent more time in Sandusky 751 00:44:48,583 --> 00:44:50,583 than any place on earth. 752 00:44:53,250 --> 00:44:55,125 Damn it! 753 00:44:58,417 --> 00:45:01,250 Everything was going so great. Now it's ruined. 754 00:45:05,458 --> 00:45:07,792 Ah, Booger. 755 00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:13,291 Your wedding isn't ruined. 756 00:45:14,834 --> 00:45:16,792 What are you talking about? 757 00:45:17,750 --> 00:45:21,291 We just had a food fight. 758 00:45:22,625 --> 00:45:26,125 People don't have... 759 00:45:27,667 --> 00:45:31,583 food fights at their... 760 00:45:31,667 --> 00:45:33,542 bridal showers! 761 00:45:33,625 --> 00:45:35,583 But I did. 762 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,709 Some nouveau-riche guy, 763 00:45:39,792 --> 00:45:42,417 looked like he could have been a banker, 764 00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:45,542 is mashing... 765 00:45:45,625 --> 00:45:50,458 handfuls of garni up my nostrils! 766 00:45:52,583 --> 00:45:54,667 (sighs) I know things look bleak. 767 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,959 But they've been bleak before. 768 00:45:58,041 --> 00:46:01,083 Do you remember at Adams College? 769 00:46:01,166 --> 00:46:03,291 We were exiled from the dorms 770 00:46:03,375 --> 00:46:05,917 and forced to live in the gymnasium. 771 00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,417 Do you remember in Fort Lauderdale, 772 00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:11,917 when we were persecuted into subjugation and incarcerated? 773 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:16,041 How about when Orrin Price framed me... 774 00:46:16,125 --> 00:46:18,250 for embezzling... 775 00:46:18,333 --> 00:46:22,625 Adams College computer research funds? 776 00:46:22,709 --> 00:46:27,083 We may have been subjected to the yoke of nerd oppression before, 777 00:46:27,166 --> 00:46:30,375 -but we're not gonna be subjected to it again! -(bangs mug) 778 00:46:31,375 --> 00:46:35,250 This wedding is not over! The son of a gun has just begun! 779 00:46:37,667 --> 00:46:39,875 Come on, pal. 780 00:46:40,834 --> 00:46:43,208 (crying) 781 00:46:44,375 --> 00:46:46,375 (ringing) 782 00:46:51,709 --> 00:46:54,917 BOOGER: Meet me at the Wood Bridge in half an hour. 783 00:46:57,875 --> 00:46:59,875 Please? 784 00:47:02,542 --> 00:47:06,250 - Hello? -(sobs) 785 00:47:06,333 --> 00:47:10,500 I'm sorry. Is this 555-4264? 786 00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,375 Knock, knock. Is this a private party? 787 00:47:17,291 --> 00:47:18,667 Have a drink, Chip. 788 00:47:18,750 --> 00:47:21,333 Thanks, Dad--Aaron. (laughs) 789 00:47:21,417 --> 00:47:23,834 (sighs) 790 00:47:23,917 --> 00:47:26,583 I'm taking a lot of flack from this from my wife. 791 00:47:27,917 --> 00:47:30,667 I thought the, uh, food fight was a nice plus though. 792 00:47:30,750 --> 00:47:34,291 This is a career day for you, Chip. 793 00:47:34,375 --> 00:47:39,166 As a matter of fact, this is the first good thing I could ever remember you doing. 794 00:47:39,250 --> 00:47:41,542 Oh, come on. I've done lots of good things. 795 00:47:42,291 --> 00:47:43,625 Name one. 796 00:47:43,709 --> 00:47:47,083 -Are you serious? -Name one. 797 00:47:48,917 --> 00:47:50,792 Well, there was, uh-- 798 00:47:51,917 --> 00:47:55,125 -Uh-- -You don't do anything and I pay you a fortune. 799 00:47:55,208 --> 00:47:56,875 But look. 800 00:47:56,959 --> 00:47:59,625 You made up for everything. You're the man 801 00:47:59,959 --> 00:48:03,291 who drove the Booger man out of my daughter's life. 802 00:48:04,792 --> 00:48:05,792 (exhales) 803 00:48:08,083 --> 00:48:10,250 Daddy, I have to talk to you. 804 00:48:11,125 --> 00:48:12,542 I'm so confused. 805 00:48:14,291 --> 00:48:17,333 First of all, I just wanna thank you for being so concerned about me. 806 00:48:17,417 --> 00:48:19,709 I know in my heart 807 00:48:19,792 --> 00:48:22,709 you only want what's best for me, 808 00:48:22,792 --> 00:48:25,083 no matter what you say or do or how you behave. 809 00:48:25,166 --> 00:48:27,458 JEANIE: (sighs) 810 00:48:28,125 --> 00:48:30,959 I sure do love that Booger though. 811 00:48:31,625 --> 00:48:34,583 I can't believe he's got a kid he never told me about. 812 00:48:38,834 --> 00:48:40,917 (groans) 813 00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:45,125 (scoffs) Kids--you gotta love 'em. 814 00:48:47,500 --> 00:48:48,500 (exhales) 815 00:48:49,834 --> 00:48:53,667 It, um-- It is true, Chip. 816 00:48:54,208 --> 00:48:55,375 Is what true? 817 00:48:57,667 --> 00:49:01,583 That, um, he has a child 818 00:49:01,667 --> 00:49:03,792 with an unwed mother and all that? 819 00:49:03,875 --> 00:49:07,417 Yeah, sure it's true. The detective I hired found it. 820 00:49:07,500 --> 00:49:12,083 Because it, uh-- it wouldn't be good if it wasn't true. 821 00:49:12,166 --> 00:49:17,250 -It's true. -Then, uh--then it's good. 822 00:49:17,333 --> 00:49:21,458 -'Cause it's true. -Right. If it's true, it's good. 823 00:49:21,542 --> 00:49:24,291 And, uh, I feel good about that. (clicks tongue) 824 00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:26,166 Good. 825 00:49:28,333 --> 00:49:31,375 (birds chirping) 826 00:49:46,041 --> 00:49:47,750 (gasps) 827 00:49:47,834 --> 00:49:50,208 -Booger! -Jeanie! 828 00:49:53,417 --> 00:49:56,208 Let's go to our secret spot so no one will see us. 829 00:49:58,333 --> 00:50:02,458 -I love you, Booger. -Oh, I love you too. 830 00:50:02,542 --> 00:50:06,625 But marriage is about trust. No secrets from each other, remember? 831 00:50:06,709 --> 00:50:08,750 I don't have any secrets. 832 00:50:09,959 --> 00:50:12,375 Well, what about that child in Sandusky, Ohio? 833 00:50:12,458 --> 00:50:16,083 I don't have a child in Sandusky, Ohio! 834 00:50:17,625 --> 00:50:20,375 Well, why would Detective Penrod say that you did? 835 00:50:20,458 --> 00:50:22,500 Well, I don't know! 836 00:50:22,583 --> 00:50:25,333 I don't even know who Detective Penrod is! 837 00:50:25,417 --> 00:50:28,417 I'm a condemned man and I don't have a child! 838 00:50:33,125 --> 00:50:34,583 I believe you, Booger. 839 00:50:37,250 --> 00:50:38,458 You do? 840 00:50:38,542 --> 00:50:41,500 Yes, because marriage is about trust. 841 00:50:41,583 --> 00:50:46,041 And I trust you... completely. 842 00:50:46,125 --> 00:50:47,583 BOOGER: (laughs) 843 00:50:49,125 --> 00:50:52,709 All I know is that I love you and I think we should continue the wedding. 844 00:50:52,792 --> 00:50:55,750 Oh, Booger, I-- I don't know what to do. I-- 845 00:50:55,834 --> 00:51:00,333 I--I don't know. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore. 846 00:51:01,834 --> 00:51:03,792 I, uh-- 847 00:51:04,625 --> 00:51:06,583 I know it's a day early, but... 848 00:51:09,625 --> 00:51:11,458 I'd like you to read my valentine. 849 00:51:18,792 --> 00:51:21,375 (giggling) 850 00:51:21,458 --> 00:51:23,291 -Open it up. -(laughs) 851 00:51:24,291 --> 00:51:25,792 A cow. Oh. 852 00:51:30,208 --> 00:51:33,291 "An empty spot was on my heart 853 00:51:33,375 --> 00:51:36,583 until I met you, O Valentine. 854 00:51:36,667 --> 00:51:40,125 Then the spot filled in. My heart was whole. 855 00:51:40,208 --> 00:51:44,709 I could love for the first time in my life 856 00:51:44,792 --> 00:51:47,959 now that you are going to become 857 00:51:51,667 --> 00:51:53,625 my wife." 858 00:51:57,834 --> 00:52:01,583 -Ahh, the hell with my dad! -Uh, huh, that's exactly what I'd hoped you'd say. 859 00:52:01,667 --> 00:52:02,625 (laughing) 860 00:52:02,709 --> 00:52:05,417 (lowing) 861 00:52:05,500 --> 00:52:08,125 -Again. -(laughs) 862 00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:12,041 (lowing) 863 00:52:13,709 --> 00:52:17,959 (laughs) Oh, I can't tell you what it does to me to hear you moo again. 864 00:52:18,041 --> 00:52:21,291 -(lowing) -(mooing) 865 00:52:21,375 --> 00:52:24,333 (mooing) 866 00:52:24,417 --> 00:52:27,041 -Oh, ho, ho, Booger! -Jeanie! 867 00:52:27,709 --> 00:52:31,709 -(laughs) -(mooing) 868 00:52:35,875 --> 00:52:37,917 (lawn mower) 869 00:52:39,667 --> 00:52:42,333 -It's on! -What's on? 870 00:52:42,417 --> 00:52:44,959 The wedding is on again! 871 00:52:45,041 --> 00:52:48,917 First it's on, then it's off. Now it's on again. 872 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,166 I am on an emotional roller coaster. 873 00:52:51,250 --> 00:52:54,000 -I am not a yo-yo. -(scoffs) 874 00:52:54,083 --> 00:52:57,125 -(lawn mower) -(tray slams) 875 00:53:00,875 --> 00:53:04,291 How can the wedding be on? We all can't even be in the same room together. 876 00:53:04,375 --> 00:53:06,500 Never in the history of weddings 877 00:53:06,583 --> 00:53:09,458 has there ever been a clearer case of incompatibility. 878 00:53:09,542 --> 00:53:14,291 Aaron, Jeanie is thrilled. Think about her for once. 879 00:53:14,375 --> 00:53:17,667 I am thinking about her. The man is a liar and a child deserter. 880 00:53:17,750 --> 00:53:20,333 If she goes through with this wedding, I'm not gonna have anything to do with it! 881 00:53:20,417 --> 00:53:22,709 Zero, nothing, nada, zip! 882 00:53:24,458 --> 00:53:25,709 -(chair ganging) -Ow! 883 00:53:25,792 --> 00:53:27,375 (laughing) 884 00:53:27,458 --> 00:53:30,959 Okay, all right. Anybody who feels that Booger could have 885 00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:33,834 an illegitimate child in Sandusky, Ohio, raise your right hands. 886 00:53:38,667 --> 00:53:41,000 (shouts) Opposed? 887 00:53:41,083 --> 00:53:43,417 -You don't think it's possible? -No, I do not. 888 00:53:43,500 --> 00:53:45,834 Booger may be Booger, but he always took precautions. 889 00:53:45,917 --> 00:53:50,250 -That is right. He always did wear condoms. -Oh. Condom. 890 00:53:50,333 --> 00:53:52,917 -So he couldn't have a child. -No way. 891 00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:56,709 (car approaching) 892 00:53:56,792 --> 00:54:00,834 -Harold, where you going? -LAMAR: I don't know, but I would guess Aunt Lois's. 893 00:54:00,917 --> 00:54:03,083 Are you scoring, Harold? 894 00:54:03,166 --> 00:54:06,667 Well, I certainly wouldn't tell you if I was. 895 00:54:06,750 --> 00:54:09,917 But I guarantee ya I ain't going over there for breakfast. 896 00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,458 (all laughing) 897 00:54:13,458 --> 00:54:15,792 -(tires screeching) -Ya-hoo! 898 00:54:15,875 --> 00:54:18,834 -(horn honking) -(tires squealing) 899 00:54:20,375 --> 00:54:22,959 -It's on! -BOTH: What's on? 900 00:54:23,875 --> 00:54:25,083 The wedding! 901 00:54:25,166 --> 00:54:28,333 -(tires screeching) -(horn honking) 902 00:54:34,333 --> 00:54:36,750 Uh, I-I thought you told me the love child was real. 903 00:54:36,834 --> 00:54:39,709 I didn't say she was real. I said it was a great idea. 904 00:54:39,792 --> 00:54:44,917 But it hasn't turned out to be such a great idea, has it? 905 00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:49,083 If Aaron finds out I've lied to him, I'm dead. He's gonna fire me. 906 00:54:49,166 --> 00:54:52,917 (sighs) Hey, if he fires you, isn't he also cutting off his own daughter? 907 00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:56,750 He's gonna give her an allowance that I'm not allowed to touch. 908 00:54:56,834 --> 00:54:59,375 Well, (lips smack) that'd do it. 909 00:54:59,709 --> 00:55:01,458 (moans) 910 00:55:01,542 --> 00:55:03,917 Oh, relax will ya. There are plenty of ways to ruin a wedding. 911 00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,959 -Such as? -It's easy. 912 00:55:06,041 --> 00:55:07,291 You know what bachelor parties are like. 913 00:55:07,375 --> 00:55:11,667 Beautiful women, liquor flowing, raw naked temptation. 914 00:55:12,041 --> 00:55:14,458 Booger's bound to succumb. 915 00:55:14,542 --> 00:55:17,166 According to his bio, he's got the self-control of a brahma bull. 916 00:55:17,250 --> 00:55:20,291 Uhh, how would we, uh-- How would we show proof of this? 917 00:55:20,375 --> 00:55:22,834 We'll make one of America's 918 00:55:22,917 --> 00:55:26,417 least funny home videos. 919 00:55:26,500 --> 00:55:30,250 -(chuckling) -(chuckling) 920 00:55:31,333 --> 00:55:32,375 Do it. 921 00:55:34,208 --> 00:55:37,583 Hey. There's a horse here named Big Booger. 922 00:55:41,083 --> 00:55:44,125 ♪♪ 923 00:55:48,625 --> 00:55:51,834 (groans) I missed the food fight. 924 00:55:51,917 --> 00:55:54,959 And now I'm gonna miss Booger's surprise theme bachelor party. 925 00:55:55,041 --> 00:55:57,667 Well, not really, Stan. 926 00:55:57,750 --> 00:56:01,166 May I present to you and Judy a special Valentine's Day treat. 927 00:56:01,250 --> 00:56:05,500 Try these on for size, ok? Now, tonight when the bachelor party starts, 928 00:56:05,583 --> 00:56:09,834 you simply turn on the TV, hit the function button on your remote. OK? 929 00:56:09,917 --> 00:56:12,208 And you might not be there, but you'll have the next best thing-- 930 00:56:13,208 --> 00:56:16,834 -Skolnick Vision. -(guffaws) 931 00:56:16,917 --> 00:56:18,875 -Bye, guys. -Thanks, Lewis. 932 00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,583 -Thanks. -(door opens, closes) 933 00:56:21,667 --> 00:56:23,709 (both guffawing) 934 00:56:23,792 --> 00:56:26,583 -♪♪ (dance rock) -(shouting, chattering) 935 00:56:28,834 --> 00:56:31,750 -Oh, I made it! -Great shot, Takashi. You know, you owe me another 20 bucks. 936 00:56:31,834 --> 00:56:33,500 -Huh? -Well, sometimes when you win, you lose. 937 00:56:33,583 --> 00:56:34,875 Now, let's play for your watch. 938 00:56:34,959 --> 00:56:37,208 -Okay, thank you. -You're welcome. (laughs) 939 00:56:37,291 --> 00:56:40,792 Red ball, middle pocket and you can call me London Fats. (chuckles) 940 00:56:42,250 --> 00:56:44,709 (party favors squealing) 941 00:56:44,792 --> 00:56:47,834 Ah, here you go. A bumper pool tournament! 942 00:56:47,917 --> 00:56:50,542 I mean, what an original idea for a bachelor party! 943 00:56:50,625 --> 00:56:52,875 I knew that you would love it, Booger. 944 00:56:52,959 --> 00:56:55,917 Is there gonna be a girlie show? 945 00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,250 Mr. Dawson, that would be sexist. 946 00:56:58,333 --> 00:57:01,583 Yeah, we believe it's possible to be entertained without demeaning women. 947 00:57:01,667 --> 00:57:05,458 That's nice. But personally, I'd prefer a little skin. 948 00:57:07,125 --> 00:57:10,667 Hey, hey, fellas, I got winners. (chuckles) 949 00:57:12,625 --> 00:57:15,709 He's got a lot of nerve showing his face around here. 950 00:57:15,792 --> 00:57:18,375 -Temper, temper. -Don't worry about it, Booger. 951 00:57:18,458 --> 00:57:21,375 We got him under 24-hour surveillance. 952 00:57:21,458 --> 00:57:24,000 There's nothing he can do that we don't know about. 953 00:57:24,500 --> 00:57:26,583 -(laughs) -(laughs) 954 00:57:26,667 --> 00:57:28,709 Hey, no lofting, Harold! 955 00:57:28,792 --> 00:57:32,417 (chanting) Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! 956 00:57:32,500 --> 00:57:35,041 -Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! -(gargles) 957 00:57:35,125 --> 00:57:38,917 I really expected Aaron to be here tonight. 958 00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:41,291 He doesn't want anything to do with the wedding. 959 00:57:41,375 --> 00:57:44,458 Well, he might have extended me the courtesy of allowing me to know that. 960 00:57:44,542 --> 00:57:46,500 (chanting) Nouveau riche! Nouveau riche! 961 00:57:46,583 --> 00:57:49,792 All right, all right, all right. All right! 962 00:57:49,875 --> 00:57:51,875 (chanting stops) Nouveau-- 963 00:57:52,917 --> 00:57:54,834 Now, I know we had a little trouble today 964 00:57:54,917 --> 00:57:57,959 at the all-you-can-eat nerd bridal shower at the Rump Roast Room at noon, 965 00:57:58,041 --> 00:58:00,250 but, hey, that's behind us now, right? 966 00:58:00,333 --> 00:58:02,625 -We're adults. -Hold it, everybody. 967 00:58:02,709 --> 00:58:05,750 -Lewis is right. -(coughs) 968 00:58:05,834 --> 00:58:08,834 Why, even I've been a bit of a recalcitrant during this wedding, 969 00:58:08,917 --> 00:58:12,583 but now that I've gotten to know... Booger, 970 00:58:12,667 --> 00:58:16,291 I realize that you and Jeanie are a perfect couple. 971 00:58:16,375 --> 00:58:20,583 And I know that it's only the first step, 972 00:58:20,667 --> 00:58:24,333 -♪♪ (dance rock) -but I'm hoping that you will accept... 973 00:58:24,417 --> 00:58:27,333 -MAN: Look at that. -...my dove of peace. 974 00:58:27,417 --> 00:58:30,750 -(excited chattering) -(party favors squealing) 975 00:58:33,250 --> 00:58:35,750 -Miss Modem! -(all cheering) 976 00:58:37,875 --> 00:58:41,959 -Miss Numbers. -Come on! 977 00:58:42,041 --> 00:58:43,959 (sighs) 978 00:58:44,041 --> 00:58:46,667 Miss Mainframe. 979 00:58:46,750 --> 00:58:50,875 -Leave it to Chip to be sexist. -M-m-me, me, me! 980 00:58:50,959 --> 00:58:52,917 -CHIP: Miss Communication. -(gasps) 981 00:58:54,917 --> 00:58:57,333 You know, they are sort of enjoyable. 982 00:58:57,417 --> 00:58:59,917 -CHIP: Miss Floppy Disk. -BOOGER: (moaning) 983 00:59:00,583 --> 00:59:04,417 -(moaning continues) -♪♪ 984 00:59:09,166 --> 00:59:11,750 -I love you! -Come on! 985 00:59:11,834 --> 00:59:14,625 -(all shouting) -(party favors squealing) 986 00:59:22,583 --> 00:59:25,542 Hey, hey, hey. 987 00:59:25,625 --> 00:59:28,208 -I'll take care of him. -Go get him. 988 00:59:28,291 --> 00:59:32,083 -Hi, Booger. I'm your present. -(growls) 989 00:59:32,166 --> 00:59:36,458 ♪♪ (continues) 990 00:59:37,625 --> 00:59:40,583 WOMAN: ♪ You make quiver ♪ 991 00:59:40,667 --> 00:59:43,291 (moans) You feel so good! 992 00:59:50,166 --> 00:59:52,667 I can't take no more! 993 00:59:53,667 --> 00:59:56,959 ♪ You make me quiver ♪ 994 00:59:57,041 --> 00:59:59,125 (both guffawing) 995 01:00:01,500 --> 01:00:04,417 MAN: Take it off! 996 01:00:04,500 --> 01:00:06,542 (cheering) 997 01:00:10,542 --> 01:00:12,667 (guffawing continues) 998 01:00:13,959 --> 01:00:17,375 ♪♪ (music continues) 999 01:00:33,208 --> 01:00:35,208 ♪ You make me quiver ♪ 1000 01:00:35,542 --> 01:00:36,500 (laughing) 1001 01:00:36,583 --> 01:00:38,959 You know, this--this Skolnick Vision is great, 1002 01:00:39,041 --> 01:00:43,250 but, ah, still, it's not like actually being there. 1003 01:00:46,542 --> 01:00:49,417 We could have our own stag party, Stan. 1004 01:00:51,542 --> 01:00:54,375 ♪♪ (continues) 1005 01:00:54,834 --> 01:00:58,291 -(all shouting) -(party favors squealing) 1006 01:00:58,375 --> 01:01:01,250 ♪ You make quiver ♪ 1007 01:01:04,709 --> 01:01:07,709 ♪♪ (vocalizing) 1008 01:01:09,166 --> 01:01:10,625 (laughing) 1009 01:01:10,709 --> 01:01:14,000 ♪ You make quiver ♪ 1010 01:01:14,083 --> 01:01:15,875 (all shouting) 1011 01:01:19,375 --> 01:01:20,417 ♪ Shiver ♪ 1012 01:01:23,291 --> 01:01:26,000 -(cheering) -(shouting) 1013 01:01:26,083 --> 01:01:28,709 ♪ You make me quiver ♪ 1014 01:01:28,792 --> 01:01:32,709 -♪♪ (continues) -(cheering) 1015 01:01:36,417 --> 01:01:38,417 (laughing) 1016 01:01:42,083 --> 01:01:45,291 We're gonna have some fun. A cool time. 1017 01:01:46,583 --> 01:01:49,709 (both laughing) 1018 01:01:49,792 --> 01:01:51,959 -What is all this? -(chuckles) 1019 01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:54,959 This is anything that you want it to be, Booger. 1020 01:01:59,750 --> 01:02:03,417 (whirring) 1021 01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:06,542 -♪♪ (conga drum beating) -ALL: Hey! Hey! 1022 01:02:06,625 --> 01:02:09,417 Hey! 1023 01:02:09,500 --> 01:02:11,709 Hey! Hey! 1024 01:02:11,792 --> 01:02:13,583 Hey! 1025 01:02:13,667 --> 01:02:17,291 Hey! Hey! 1026 01:02:20,959 --> 01:02:23,333 Did you do the nasty? 1027 01:02:26,625 --> 01:02:29,041 I still got it. 1028 01:02:29,125 --> 01:02:31,458 (all shouting, cheering) 1029 01:02:33,625 --> 01:02:36,125 -All right, Booger! -♪♪ (conga drum resumes) 1030 01:02:36,208 --> 01:02:40,125 Hey! Hey! Hey! 1031 01:02:42,208 --> 01:02:46,208 This better be good, Chip, to have woken us up in the middle of the night. 1032 01:02:46,291 --> 01:02:50,417 I just want you all to see what kind of lowlife Jeanie's going to marry. 1033 01:02:50,500 --> 01:02:51,875 BOOGER (on TV): What is all this? 1034 01:02:51,959 --> 01:02:52,959 Booger? 1035 01:02:53,041 --> 01:02:57,291 This is anything you want it to be, Booger. 1036 01:02:57,375 --> 01:03:00,417 It's your last night as a single man. 1037 01:03:00,500 --> 01:03:02,875 You're allowed to have a little fun, Booger. 1038 01:03:02,959 --> 01:03:06,000 Oh, my God. 1039 01:03:07,542 --> 01:03:11,625 -I can't do this. -Everybody's nervous at first. 1040 01:03:11,709 --> 01:03:16,125 No, no, no. It's not that I'm nervous. 1041 01:03:16,208 --> 01:03:20,000 I am not nervous. 1042 01:03:20,083 --> 01:03:22,959 It's just that, um, 1043 01:03:23,041 --> 01:03:27,250 Jeanie and I have a special bond... 1044 01:03:27,333 --> 01:03:30,583 and I don't want to break it. 1045 01:03:32,709 --> 01:03:35,000 Plus, you make me very nervous. 1046 01:03:37,333 --> 01:03:40,750 So, if it's all right with you, perhaps we could just... 1047 01:03:42,834 --> 01:03:45,792 sit here for a, for a moment... 1048 01:03:45,875 --> 01:03:48,625 so that the guys outside won't... 1049 01:03:48,709 --> 01:03:51,250 think that I'm the sissy that you know me to be. 1050 01:03:51,333 --> 01:03:53,125 -(laughs) -(kiss) 1051 01:03:53,208 --> 01:03:57,166 You're not a sissy, Booger. You're a mensch. 1052 01:03:57,250 --> 01:04:00,750 -I think he acted very responsibly. -That's right, Chip. 1053 01:04:02,583 --> 01:04:05,667 -(smacks butt) -Oh, yes, Mommy! 1054 01:04:05,750 --> 01:04:09,291 -Oh, God. (laughing) - Oh, I'm feeling better. 1055 01:04:09,375 --> 01:04:13,834 -Ooh. -I've been bad. I've been very bad! 1056 01:04:13,917 --> 01:04:16,000 I want a divorce, Chip. 1057 01:04:16,083 --> 01:04:19,417 It must be a mistake. That's not me. 1058 01:04:21,542 --> 01:04:24,375 Those nerds did it. I bet they did it on a computer or something. 1059 01:04:24,458 --> 01:04:26,542 God, the things they can do with computers these days. 1060 01:04:26,625 --> 01:04:31,250 No. I'm the one who made the mistake, Chip, when I married you. 1061 01:04:33,291 --> 01:04:35,500 It was a little indiscretion at a bachelor party. 1062 01:04:35,583 --> 01:04:38,208 It's not just the video, Chip! 1063 01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:41,500 It's been all downhill since the honeymoon. 1064 01:04:41,583 --> 01:04:44,875 You drink too much. You're mentally abusive to me. 1065 01:04:44,959 --> 01:04:47,667 You fool around with other women. 1066 01:04:47,750 --> 01:04:50,500 We have absolutely nothing in common. 1067 01:04:50,583 --> 01:04:53,250 Well, maybe I could work a little harder. 1068 01:04:53,333 --> 01:04:57,625 It makes me ill to think I've stayed with you as long as I have. 1069 01:04:58,834 --> 01:05:01,834 (gagging) 1070 01:05:01,917 --> 01:05:04,000 CHIP: Honey? 1071 01:05:08,417 --> 01:05:10,709 You mind if I spoke to Chip alone? 1072 01:05:10,792 --> 01:05:12,667 Oh, no, certainly. Come, sweetie. 1073 01:05:12,750 --> 01:05:14,625 TIPPY: Gaylord! 1074 01:05:19,917 --> 01:05:22,875 -This isn't good, Chip. -No. 1075 01:05:23,834 --> 01:05:25,917 So I'm gonna kill you, Chip. 1076 01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:29,083 You made a fool out of my daughter! 1077 01:05:29,166 --> 01:05:31,083 Aaron, I can explain everything. 1078 01:05:31,166 --> 01:05:33,083 You lied about the illegitimate child, 1079 01:05:33,166 --> 01:05:35,959 then you tried to frame Booger and you got caught! 1080 01:05:36,041 --> 01:05:38,917 The illegitimate child will be here tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m. 1081 01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,250 She's on route right now from Sandusky, Ohio. 1082 01:05:41,333 --> 01:05:44,250 There is no illegitimate child! You made it all up. 1083 01:05:44,333 --> 01:05:47,375 The illegitimate child will be here at 10:00 in the morning! 1084 01:05:47,458 --> 01:05:51,417 It better be! And you better get my daughter to forgive you, 1085 01:05:51,500 --> 01:05:54,041 or there's no room for you in this family 1086 01:05:54,125 --> 01:05:58,208 or at Humphrey Industries, you pervert creep. 1087 01:06:00,375 --> 01:06:01,458 (door slams) 1088 01:06:05,417 --> 01:06:08,625 Oh, boy. That was one heck of a stag party last night, Lewis. 1089 01:06:08,709 --> 01:06:10,959 I know I'll never forget it. 1090 01:06:11,041 --> 01:06:14,959 I especially enjoyed your dance with the woman who removed her clothes, Mr. Booger. 1091 01:06:15,041 --> 01:06:19,333 Trevor, remember there's a code of silence about what goes on at a stag party. 1092 01:06:19,417 --> 01:06:21,959 -Code of silence? -So, reveal nothing, 1093 01:06:22,041 --> 01:06:24,959 even if you're under hours of interrogation and torture. 1094 01:06:25,041 --> 01:06:27,667 Wild horses couldn't drag it out of me. 1095 01:06:27,750 --> 01:06:31,000 (chuckles) Who aren't I supposed to tell? 1096 01:06:46,625 --> 01:06:48,458 -Lewis. -Huh? 1097 01:06:49,041 --> 01:06:50,583 There were women there, weren't there? 1098 01:06:54,083 --> 01:06:55,583 Yes. 1099 01:06:59,250 --> 01:07:00,583 Were they pretty? 1100 01:07:02,750 --> 01:07:03,917 Yes. 1101 01:07:04,792 --> 01:07:06,208 What'd you do with them? 1102 01:07:08,709 --> 01:07:11,333 -The bunny hop. -That's all you did? 1103 01:07:11,417 --> 01:07:14,750 -Yes. -Was the bunny hop? 1104 01:07:17,750 --> 01:07:20,542 Okay. You can still be my valentine then. 1105 01:07:24,583 --> 01:07:27,709 Oh, Betty. (sighs) You shouldn't have. 1106 01:07:27,792 --> 01:07:30,208 -He's so cute. -He plays something too. 1107 01:07:30,291 --> 01:07:32,875 Beautiful. (chuckles) 1108 01:07:32,959 --> 01:07:37,000 Hey, guys! It's Valentine's Day! 1109 01:07:37,083 --> 01:07:39,250 ALL: Happy Valentine's Day! 1110 01:07:39,333 --> 01:07:41,166 Happy Valentine's. 1111 01:07:42,667 --> 01:07:46,417 Aaron, I hope you didn't have anything 1112 01:07:46,500 --> 01:07:49,375 to do with videotaping Booger at the stag party. 1113 01:07:49,458 --> 01:07:51,834 Absolutely not. I wasn't even there. 1114 01:07:51,917 --> 01:07:54,041 Mm-hmm. 1115 01:07:54,125 --> 01:07:57,750 Aaron, if you don't participate in this wedding 1116 01:07:57,834 --> 01:08:00,750 and make your daughter proud of you, 1117 01:08:00,834 --> 01:08:02,542 I'm going to leave you. 1118 01:08:02,625 --> 01:08:05,208 You would leave me? 1119 01:08:05,291 --> 01:08:08,875 I have learned a lot from the nerds. Nerds speak their mind. 1120 01:08:08,959 --> 01:08:11,750 And from now on, I'm gonna speak my mind too. 1121 01:08:11,834 --> 01:08:15,458 If you don't support your daughter during this wedding, I'm outta here. 1122 01:08:15,542 --> 01:08:17,333 Fix your ascot. 1123 01:08:18,792 --> 01:08:21,709 It's not like I'm giving up that much. 1124 01:08:21,792 --> 01:08:23,667 What is that supposed to mean? 1125 01:08:24,166 --> 01:08:26,250 Aaron, 1126 01:08:26,333 --> 01:08:29,583 we haven't had sex since the Bush administration. 1127 01:08:29,667 --> 01:08:33,583 Well, it's, uh, hard to perform in that way when the Democrats are in power. 1128 01:08:33,667 --> 01:08:35,750 Ask any guy in this neighborhood. 1129 01:08:35,834 --> 01:08:38,417 That's why the sex hasn't been that hot lately. 1130 01:08:38,500 --> 01:08:41,625 Hot? I'd settle for lukewarm. 1131 01:08:41,709 --> 01:08:43,542 Zip your fly. 1132 01:08:45,166 --> 01:08:46,542 (zipper screeches) 1133 01:08:47,375 --> 01:08:49,125 Well, it's not all my fault. 1134 01:08:49,208 --> 01:08:51,959 How can I have sex when I have to spend all my time 1135 01:08:52,041 --> 01:08:55,291 fixing my ascot, zippering my fly and matching my socks? 1136 01:08:55,375 --> 01:08:58,417 I can't be perfect for you anymore, Tippy. 1137 01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:00,625 It's too much pressure. 1138 01:09:00,709 --> 01:09:04,625 Aaron. I thought I was helping you. 1139 01:09:04,709 --> 01:09:07,417 I know how much you wanna be accepted by the blue bloods, 1140 01:09:07,500 --> 01:09:10,834 but you don't ever have to be perfect for me. 1141 01:09:10,917 --> 01:09:15,291 -I don't? -No. 1142 01:09:15,375 --> 01:09:19,375 I just want you to be the imperfect animal I fell in love with. 1143 01:09:20,250 --> 01:09:22,500 You mean it? 1144 01:09:22,583 --> 01:09:25,333 Absolutely. 1145 01:09:25,417 --> 01:09:27,458 Tippy. 1146 01:09:27,542 --> 01:09:29,458 Aaron. 1147 01:09:29,542 --> 01:09:31,500 Oh, Tippy. 1148 01:09:31,583 --> 01:09:33,333 Aaron! 1149 01:09:33,417 --> 01:09:36,291 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1150 01:09:41,083 --> 01:09:44,291 MAN: ♪ Cupid ♪ 1151 01:09:44,375 --> 01:09:48,458 ♪ You've got the world upon a string ♪ 1152 01:09:48,542 --> 01:09:53,333 ♪ It's time for armored hearts to sing ♪ 1153 01:09:53,417 --> 01:09:57,417 ♪ So bless these sweet nerd lips ♪ 1154 01:09:59,375 --> 01:10:01,959 ♪ Cupid ♪ 1155 01:10:02,041 --> 01:10:07,166 ♪ Strike while your arrow's point is sharp ♪ 1156 01:10:07,250 --> 01:10:12,333 ♪ Play sweet melodies upon your harp ♪ 1157 01:10:12,417 --> 01:10:16,750 ♪ Make all their sweet little nerdy dreams come true ♪ 1158 01:10:18,625 --> 01:10:23,542 ♪ Give them one more chance ♪ 1159 01:10:23,625 --> 01:10:27,709 -♪ To breathe in romance ♪ -(guffawing) 1160 01:10:27,792 --> 01:10:29,834 ♪ Cupid ♪ 1161 01:10:29,917 --> 01:10:32,166 Hey, I don't know if you're enjoying your wedding, 1162 01:10:32,250 --> 01:10:35,333 but it's been the best time of my life. 1163 01:10:35,417 --> 01:10:37,875 Nerds. Who knew? 1164 01:10:37,959 --> 01:10:41,000 -Where are you? -Well, I'm over at Lois's. 1165 01:10:41,083 --> 01:10:44,041 Well, it's been special. 1166 01:10:44,125 --> 01:10:47,041 And thank God it's all going to end this afternoon. 1167 01:10:47,125 --> 01:10:49,834 It's all gonna end right now. 1168 01:10:50,792 --> 01:10:53,792 I'd like you to meet Heidi Dawson, your daughter. 1169 01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:57,667 Go. 1170 01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:10,041 -TIPPY: Oh, Aaron! -It's off! 1171 01:11:10,500 --> 01:11:12,083 (gasps) 1172 01:11:12,166 --> 01:11:13,125 -What's off? -What? 1173 01:11:13,208 --> 01:11:14,291 The wedding! 1174 01:11:15,375 --> 01:11:18,000 Booger's kid turned up. I told you there was a kid. 1175 01:11:23,542 --> 01:11:27,792 -Guys, the wedding is off. -(gasps) 1176 01:11:31,959 --> 01:11:34,250 It's not your fault. 1177 01:11:34,333 --> 01:11:37,709 You didn't do anything. You didn't ask to be born. 1178 01:11:39,250 --> 01:11:42,583 Would you like me to give you a push on those swings? 1179 01:11:42,667 --> 01:11:46,750 -No, thanks. -Mmm, I'm a pretty good swing pusher. 1180 01:11:46,834 --> 01:11:48,667 I could give you an over-the-top. 1181 01:11:48,750 --> 01:11:51,750 I'm too old to be pushed on the swings. 1182 01:11:51,834 --> 01:11:55,333 Oh, right. Yeah, you're too old for that. 1183 01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:59,458 I used to hate it when people treated me like a baby. 1184 01:11:59,542 --> 01:12:01,709 -You did? -Oh, yeah. 1185 01:12:02,375 --> 01:12:04,041 So what do you like to do? 1186 01:12:05,083 --> 01:12:07,166 I'm afraid to tell you because 1187 01:12:07,250 --> 01:12:10,667 if you don't like what I like, then you won't like me. 1188 01:12:14,333 --> 01:12:18,166 I think... I'm going to like you 1189 01:12:18,250 --> 01:12:20,125 no matter what you do, 1190 01:12:20,208 --> 01:12:23,041 as long as you live. 1191 01:12:23,625 --> 01:12:25,375 So there. 1192 01:12:27,583 --> 01:12:29,542 (tires squealing) 1193 01:12:38,208 --> 01:12:39,250 (car door closes) 1194 01:12:46,291 --> 01:12:50,291 -Booger. -I'm here to see Jeanie. 1195 01:12:50,375 --> 01:12:53,625 I'm sorry, Booger, but Jeanie doesn't wanna speak with you. 1196 01:12:53,709 --> 01:12:55,083 I would like her to tell me that. 1197 01:12:56,875 --> 01:13:00,709 Well, if she doesn't wanna talk with you, she can't very well tell you then, can she? 1198 01:13:00,792 --> 01:13:04,375 Mrs. Humphrey, I am trying to be civil, but now I am not asking. 1199 01:13:04,458 --> 01:13:06,583 I am demanding to see your daughter. 1200 01:13:06,667 --> 01:13:09,208 Oh, Booger. 1201 01:13:09,291 --> 01:13:11,083 I'm sorry. 1202 01:13:26,083 --> 01:13:28,542 Oh, honey, help him. 1203 01:13:28,625 --> 01:13:32,000 Booger, every wedding has its crisis. This is yours. 1204 01:13:34,417 --> 01:13:37,959 A crisis would be easy compared to this. 1205 01:13:45,291 --> 01:13:47,250 Jeanie! 1206 01:13:47,333 --> 01:13:49,333 Oh, Booger. 1207 01:13:53,375 --> 01:13:57,500 Booger, the groom never stops pursuing his bride. 1208 01:13:59,667 --> 01:14:00,834 Never. 1209 01:14:11,458 --> 01:14:14,291 Hey, pal. Hey! Hey! What are you doing? 1210 01:14:14,375 --> 01:14:16,834 Hey, wait, wait a minute! Hey, wait! (whistles) Hey! 1211 01:14:22,208 --> 01:14:24,709 (groans) 1212 01:14:32,375 --> 01:14:35,166 (grunting) 1213 01:14:37,750 --> 01:14:39,834 JEANIE: Oh. 1214 01:14:44,583 --> 01:14:47,500 (grunting) 1215 01:14:49,583 --> 01:14:50,583 (exhales) 1216 01:14:51,667 --> 01:14:54,166 -Booger! -Darling! 1217 01:14:54,250 --> 01:14:56,208 Whoa! 1218 01:14:59,208 --> 01:15:01,458 So what if I have a child. 1219 01:15:01,542 --> 01:15:04,792 I'm so confused. You know, I just I don't know what to think anymore. 1220 01:15:04,875 --> 01:15:07,125 Oh, marry me, Jeanie. 1221 01:15:07,208 --> 01:15:09,458 I just need a few days to think about it. 1222 01:15:09,542 --> 01:15:12,500 What, not get married on Valentine's Day? 1223 01:15:12,583 --> 01:15:15,667 I'm confused, Booger. I need time! 1224 01:15:15,750 --> 01:15:19,000 There was a time when getting married on Valentine's Day 1225 01:15:19,083 --> 01:15:22,208 was the most important thing in the world to us. 1226 01:15:25,375 --> 01:15:27,375 Please go, Booger. 1227 01:15:27,458 --> 01:15:29,458 Is that what you really want? 1228 01:15:31,083 --> 01:15:35,959 No. Not in my heart and not in my soul, 1229 01:15:36,041 --> 01:15:38,875 but... I'm just so nuts over this, you know. 1230 01:15:38,959 --> 01:15:42,458 It's like I just need a little space. 1231 01:15:42,542 --> 01:15:45,041 Please, Booger? 1232 01:16:07,083 --> 01:16:08,667 ♪ Jean ♪ 1233 01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:12,333 ♪ The roses ♪ 1234 01:16:12,417 --> 01:16:14,583 ♪ Are red ♪ 1235 01:16:17,458 --> 01:16:21,125 ♪ All the leaves have gone green ♪ 1236 01:16:25,625 --> 01:16:29,959 ♪ And the skies are so low ♪ 1237 01:16:31,542 --> 01:16:33,417 ♪ You can touch them ♪ 1238 01:16:33,500 --> 01:16:36,583 ♪ And so ♪ 1239 01:16:36,667 --> 01:16:39,750 BOTH: ♪ Come into my arms ♪ 1240 01:16:39,834 --> 01:16:43,291 ♪ Bonnie Jean ♪♪ 1241 01:16:43,375 --> 01:16:46,625 (giggling) 1242 01:16:47,875 --> 01:16:49,917 It's on! 1243 01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:52,291 BOTH: What's on? 1244 01:16:52,375 --> 01:16:54,458 The wedding! 1245 01:16:58,875 --> 01:17:00,792 Whoo-hoo! 1246 01:17:03,792 --> 01:17:07,083 (sighs) Ah, I'm so glad the wedding is still on. 1247 01:17:07,166 --> 01:17:09,792 I was so wrong about nerds. 1248 01:17:09,875 --> 01:17:12,333 You know, we nerds believe in forgiveness. 1249 01:17:14,208 --> 01:17:18,667 It's unreal how much you remind me of my friend Bing. 1250 01:17:21,166 --> 01:17:24,417 I've never met anyone quite like you, Lamar. 1251 01:17:24,500 --> 01:17:26,417 (giggles) 1252 01:17:26,500 --> 01:17:28,250 Well, I'll take that as a compliment. 1253 01:17:29,333 --> 01:17:30,834 It is. 1254 01:17:44,041 --> 01:17:46,208 -Lewis. -Booger. 1255 01:17:50,750 --> 01:17:53,083 I'm gonna marry Cathleen Turtletaub. 1256 01:17:54,792 --> 01:17:57,667 Who's Cathleen Turtletaub? 1257 01:17:57,750 --> 01:17:59,834 Heidi's mother. 1258 01:17:59,917 --> 01:18:03,333 But you don't even know Cathleen Turtletaub. 1259 01:18:03,417 --> 01:18:06,417 I know, but it's the right thing to do. 1260 01:18:17,583 --> 01:18:19,542 -(coughs) -(hisses) 1261 01:18:22,875 --> 01:18:25,583 This really isn't about Cathleen Turtletaub, is it? 1262 01:18:29,041 --> 01:18:31,250 No, it isn't. 1263 01:18:32,125 --> 01:18:35,583 This is about your zapatos becoming muy frío, no? 1264 01:18:36,083 --> 01:18:39,375 -Lewis. -Booger. 1265 01:18:39,458 --> 01:18:43,375 I didn't go through with it with the stripper last night. 1266 01:18:43,458 --> 01:18:46,917 -Oh, yeah, we know. -How do you know? 1267 01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:49,041 (smacks lips) Well, we kind of figured it out 1268 01:18:49,125 --> 01:18:52,208 when we edited the videotape to ruin Chip's life. 1269 01:18:52,291 --> 01:18:55,250 Here I was passing up 1270 01:18:55,333 --> 01:18:58,834 this mound of perfect. 1271 01:18:58,917 --> 01:19:03,709 I, who have never passed up anything in my life. 1272 01:19:03,792 --> 01:19:07,875 What is the matter with me, Lewis? 1273 01:19:07,959 --> 01:19:10,208 Where has the Booger I have known 1274 01:19:10,291 --> 01:19:13,583 and loved... gone? 1275 01:19:15,125 --> 01:19:19,208 (clock chiming) 1276 01:19:22,834 --> 01:19:24,500 You ready? 1277 01:19:26,208 --> 01:19:27,125 Let's do it. 1278 01:19:27,208 --> 01:19:28,291 (glass hits table) 1279 01:19:32,500 --> 01:19:35,041 Please be my valentine. 1280 01:19:35,125 --> 01:19:39,208 You haven't given me a valentine in 10 years and this is what you come up with? 1281 01:19:39,291 --> 01:19:41,166 Pathetic! 1282 01:19:44,792 --> 01:19:46,834 (nervous chuckle) 1283 01:19:52,667 --> 01:19:55,125 (whimpers) 1284 01:19:55,208 --> 01:19:58,667 Aaron, Tippy, the food fight was a sensational idea! 1285 01:19:58,750 --> 01:20:01,875 I'm gonna use the nerd theme at my wedding. (guffaws) 1286 01:20:04,542 --> 01:20:05,875 Mylan. 1287 01:20:07,291 --> 01:20:10,917 I'm so sorry for all the trouble that you've experienced with this affair. 1288 01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:13,125 Thanks for coming to the wedding. 1289 01:20:13,208 --> 01:20:16,834 I do not care to judge you, Aaron, on the basis of the hell I've been through. 1290 01:20:16,917 --> 01:20:19,625 But I trust that it was merely a horrific aberration 1291 01:20:19,709 --> 01:20:22,500 and I expect the wedding to be quite different. 1292 01:20:26,041 --> 01:20:28,041 What? 1293 01:20:29,041 --> 01:20:31,667 Oh. 1294 01:20:31,750 --> 01:20:33,709 I, uh, trust that'll be enough. 1295 01:20:35,375 --> 01:20:38,792 Wouldn't have missed this wedding for the world. 1296 01:20:38,875 --> 01:20:41,792 LEWIS: Everybody, stand aside! Make way for the groom! 1297 01:20:41,875 --> 01:20:43,834 (horn beeping) 1298 01:20:43,917 --> 01:20:46,583 I would know that horn anywhere. 1299 01:20:51,917 --> 01:20:54,375 -LEWIS: Dad! -U.N.! 1300 01:20:54,458 --> 01:20:57,208 -Hey, how are you? -Hey! 1301 01:20:57,291 --> 01:20:59,000 -Congratulations. -Thank you. 1302 01:20:59,083 --> 01:21:01,959 I wouldn't miss a nerd wedding for the world. 1303 01:21:02,041 --> 01:21:04,375 -How are you? -Lewis, how are you? 1304 01:21:04,458 --> 01:21:07,375 -How's my unborn grandson? -You mean your unborn fetal son? 1305 01:21:07,458 --> 01:21:10,375 (both guffawing) 1306 01:21:10,458 --> 01:21:12,375 Emergency! Excuse, please. 1307 01:21:12,458 --> 01:21:14,375 The bishop has a kidney stone. 1308 01:21:14,458 --> 01:21:16,667 He no make it to wedding! 1309 01:21:16,750 --> 01:21:20,208 Wha-how am I supposed to get married without a clergyman? 1310 01:21:20,291 --> 01:21:23,166 -I can marry you. -But I don't love you. 1311 01:21:23,250 --> 01:21:26,375 Oh. No, no. I took a correspondence course. 1312 01:21:26,458 --> 01:21:28,750 I'm a fully ordained Tilhoonian minister. 1313 01:21:28,834 --> 01:21:31,375 -You are? -U.N. 1314 01:21:31,458 --> 01:21:33,291 (guffawing) 1315 01:21:43,333 --> 01:21:45,959 (guffawing continues) 1316 01:21:48,250 --> 01:21:52,125 ♪♪ (wedding music) 1317 01:22:01,792 --> 01:22:05,208 -Hi, Dad. -Shh. (clears throat) 1318 01:22:05,291 --> 01:22:07,208 -♪♪ (organ) -Sorry. 1319 01:22:07,291 --> 01:22:10,000 ♪♪ ("Wedding March") 1320 01:22:13,875 --> 01:22:17,709 (guests murmuring) 1321 01:22:17,792 --> 01:22:21,542 -WOMAN #1: Oh, she's just beautiful. -WOMAN #2: Isn't she? 1322 01:22:21,625 --> 01:22:25,208 I've never seen a nerd wedding I didn't cry at. 1323 01:22:25,291 --> 01:22:27,875 This is just fabulous! (crying) 1324 01:22:27,959 --> 01:22:29,792 What a weenie. 1325 01:22:33,959 --> 01:22:35,542 (shutter clicks) 1326 01:22:35,625 --> 01:22:37,625 -(all sigh) -Doesn't she look gorgeous? 1327 01:22:42,542 --> 01:22:45,500 (both crying) 1328 01:22:55,083 --> 01:22:57,500 (alarm blaring) 1329 01:22:59,041 --> 01:23:02,000 Lewis? 1330 01:23:03,542 --> 01:23:06,792 -Betty, you're having the baby! -Lewis! 1331 01:23:06,875 --> 01:23:10,083 -Oh. You're having the baby, honey. -Lewis. 1332 01:23:10,166 --> 01:23:13,959 Booger, quick. You guys. Lamar! Quick, come here! 1333 01:23:14,041 --> 01:23:16,625 LEWIS: Lamar. You guys. Booger. 1334 01:23:16,709 --> 01:23:18,333 -Lamar, quick, hurry! -BOOGER: Don't panic! 1335 01:23:18,417 --> 01:23:21,333 Ogre. Ogre. We gotta carry her. 1336 01:23:21,417 --> 01:23:23,458 Okay. Okay, here we go. 1337 01:23:23,542 --> 01:23:26,166 -LEWIS: That's it. Careful. -Okay, I got her. 1338 01:23:26,250 --> 01:23:29,792 -Okay, Lewey! Where, Lewey? -Come on. Follow me. 1339 01:23:29,875 --> 01:23:33,500 -ALL: (chattering) -OGRE: Where, Lewey? 1340 01:23:33,583 --> 01:23:36,333 (alarm continues blaring) 1341 01:23:36,417 --> 01:23:39,333 (alarm stops) 1342 01:23:39,417 --> 01:23:42,542 LEWIS: Ogre, here. Put her head right here in the chopped liver. 1343 01:23:42,625 --> 01:23:45,583 -Lewis! -WOMAN: She need an ice pack? 1344 01:23:47,125 --> 01:23:49,500 Betty, don't push. Don't push, Betty. 1345 01:23:49,583 --> 01:23:50,583 (groans) 1346 01:23:51,792 --> 01:23:53,500 ALL (chanting): Betty, don't push. Betty, don't push. 1347 01:23:53,583 --> 01:23:56,291 -Lewis! -Betty, don't push! Betty, don't push! 1348 01:23:56,375 --> 01:23:58,834 ALL (chanting): Eee-hee-hoo. 1349 01:24:04,792 --> 01:24:07,875 Eee-hee-hoo! Eee-hee-hoo! 1350 01:24:07,959 --> 01:24:10,500 BOOGER: Heidi, where are you going? 1351 01:24:11,166 --> 01:24:13,709 I shouldn't be here. 1352 01:24:13,792 --> 01:24:16,375 Of course you should be here. 1353 01:24:16,458 --> 01:24:20,750 I'm not really your daughter. Chip got me from an orphanage. 1354 01:24:23,667 --> 01:24:27,709 Chip got you in an orphanage? 1355 01:24:27,792 --> 01:24:29,667 (scoffs) 1356 01:24:31,291 --> 01:24:33,375 -You, um, -BETTY: (screaming) 1357 01:24:33,458 --> 01:24:35,542 rented an orphan? 1358 01:24:35,625 --> 01:24:38,583 Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. 1359 01:24:39,625 --> 01:24:42,375 And I've been under a lot of stress lately. 1360 01:24:42,458 --> 01:24:44,667 -I'm sorry. -(crying) 1361 01:24:46,667 --> 01:24:48,542 Daddy, don't! Don't! 1362 01:24:48,625 --> 01:24:49,583 -(smack) -Ooh! 1363 01:24:49,667 --> 01:24:51,917 -(grunts) -(chanting) Betty, don't push! 1364 01:24:52,000 --> 01:24:54,875 -(screams) -(chanting) Betty, don't scream! 1365 01:24:54,959 --> 01:24:58,875 -Get off our land. -(chanting continues) Betty, don't scream! 1366 01:24:58,959 --> 01:25:01,917 Aren't you forgetting something? 1367 01:25:02,000 --> 01:25:04,083 The keys to the B.M.W. 1368 01:25:04,166 --> 01:25:06,291 MAN: Cough 'em up. 1369 01:25:06,375 --> 01:25:10,166 -BETTY: (screaming) -Okay, honey! 1370 01:25:13,333 --> 01:25:17,667 -BETTY: It's all your fault, Lewis! -You nerds did this to me. 1371 01:25:19,458 --> 01:25:21,709 But I'll get you... 1372 01:25:21,792 --> 01:25:25,250 if it's the last thing I do! 1373 01:25:25,333 --> 01:25:28,125 -(grunting) -(laughing) 1374 01:25:28,208 --> 01:25:31,083 -Bye, Chip. -Hmph! 1375 01:25:31,166 --> 01:25:33,125 MAN: Bye, Chip. (laughter) 1376 01:25:33,208 --> 01:25:35,875 My next husband's going to be a nerd. 1377 01:25:40,834 --> 01:25:44,500 I, uh--I would like to make an announcement. 1378 01:25:44,583 --> 01:25:47,250 -(Betty screams) -I have, uh, 1379 01:25:48,375 --> 01:25:50,083 been a jerk for this whole wedding. 1380 01:25:50,166 --> 01:25:53,166 You certainly have. 1381 01:25:53,250 --> 01:25:55,417 Well, I've...I-I never been around a nerd before, 1382 01:25:55,500 --> 01:25:58,291 and I guess, uh-- 1383 01:25:58,375 --> 01:26:00,959 well, I guess I judged a book by its cover. 1384 01:26:01,041 --> 01:26:04,333 -(groaning) -Booger. 1385 01:26:06,166 --> 01:26:08,750 I know you and my Jeanie are gonna be very happy together 1386 01:26:08,834 --> 01:26:11,834 because you know what you are and you're proud of it. 1387 01:26:15,375 --> 01:26:17,125 Well, I'm, uh, 1388 01:26:17,208 --> 01:26:20,041 sick of trying to be something I'm not. 1389 01:26:20,125 --> 01:26:22,375 Come on! Push, honey, push! Push! 1390 01:26:22,458 --> 01:26:24,041 Tippy. 1391 01:26:24,125 --> 01:26:26,625 NERDS (chanting): Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! 1392 01:26:26,709 --> 01:26:30,000 -I-- -Push, Betty, push! 1393 01:26:30,083 --> 01:26:31,959 I-- 1394 01:26:34,458 --> 01:26:36,792 I am nouveau riche and I'm proud of it! 1395 01:26:40,750 --> 01:26:45,875 Mylan, if who I am isn't good enough for the Republican party of this state, 1396 01:26:45,959 --> 01:26:48,000 then to hell with the nomination! 1397 01:26:48,083 --> 01:26:51,000 -And that is the truth! -NERDS: Push, Betty, push! 1398 01:26:51,083 --> 01:26:54,000 The nerds have brought my man back. 1399 01:26:54,083 --> 01:26:56,041 WOMEN: Aw! 1400 01:26:56,125 --> 01:26:58,166 -(gasps) -(gasps) 1401 01:26:58,250 --> 01:27:00,375 -Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! -(screams) 1402 01:27:00,458 --> 01:27:03,709 -Push, Betty, push! -Wow. 1403 01:27:03,792 --> 01:27:07,125 Hey, hey, hey. Don't go. 1404 01:27:12,458 --> 01:27:15,542 What would you say if I said 1405 01:27:15,625 --> 01:27:18,542 we should adopt Heidi? 1406 01:27:18,625 --> 01:27:20,542 (Betty screams) 1407 01:27:20,625 --> 01:27:24,041 I would say that I love you even more than I already do, 1408 01:27:24,125 --> 01:27:26,792 and I didn't think that was possible. 1409 01:27:29,458 --> 01:27:32,208 You gave up what you wanted to tell the truth. 1410 01:27:32,291 --> 01:27:34,917 I really admire that quality in a person. 1411 01:27:35,000 --> 01:27:38,625 Push, Betty, push! Push, Betty, push! 1412 01:27:38,709 --> 01:27:42,542 It's coming! It's coming, Betty! Come on. Push, honey, push! 1413 01:27:42,625 --> 01:27:45,333 -BETTY: (grunting) -(baby crying) 1414 01:27:47,834 --> 01:27:50,959 (crying continues) 1415 01:27:51,041 --> 01:27:54,750 Oh. Oh, it's so beautiful. 1416 01:27:54,834 --> 01:27:57,709 Our son is born. 1417 01:27:57,792 --> 01:28:00,041 Kunta Skolnick! 1418 01:28:08,166 --> 01:28:10,458 Behold the nerd child. 1419 01:28:15,000 --> 01:28:19,000 I see before me two souls who desire to be joined together. 1420 01:28:19,083 --> 01:28:21,166 There's no greater challenge in life, 1421 01:28:21,250 --> 01:28:25,417 and also, no greater reward. (guffaws) 1422 01:28:25,500 --> 01:28:28,166 (crying) 1423 01:28:30,417 --> 01:28:34,583 Do you, Dudley Dawson, take this woman, Jean Lagarde Humphrey, 1424 01:28:34,667 --> 01:28:36,542 to be your lawful wife? 1425 01:28:38,083 --> 01:28:41,125 Before I answer that, I just want to say 1426 01:28:41,208 --> 01:28:43,250 this is the happiest moment of my life. 1427 01:28:47,417 --> 01:28:48,875 I do. 1428 01:28:50,083 --> 01:28:52,500 And do you, Jean Lagarde Humphrey, take this man, Dudley Dawson, 1429 01:28:52,583 --> 01:28:54,583 to be your lawfully wedded husband? 1430 01:28:54,667 --> 01:28:56,542 Excuse me. 1431 01:28:58,375 --> 01:29:01,625 I'm going to love you till the end of time. 1432 01:29:01,709 --> 01:29:04,875 NERDS: (crying) 1433 01:29:04,959 --> 01:29:08,667 -I do. -Then with the power invested in me 1434 01:29:08,750 --> 01:29:12,667 by the Tilhoon Institute of Home Learning Church, 1435 01:29:12,750 --> 01:29:15,250 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 1436 01:29:21,709 --> 01:29:23,792 (guffaws) 1437 01:29:25,542 --> 01:29:27,625 Ohh! 1438 01:29:34,542 --> 01:29:38,333 Nerds forever! Forever nerds! 1439 01:29:38,417 --> 01:29:42,208 Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! 1440 01:29:42,291 --> 01:29:46,083 GUESTS (chanting): Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! 1441 01:29:46,166 --> 01:29:49,125 ♪♪ (dance rock) 1442 01:29:53,083 --> 01:29:56,458 ♪♪ (singing in Japanese) 1443 01:29:57,750 --> 01:30:04,792 ♪♪ (continues singing in Japanese) 1444 01:30:06,792 --> 01:30:11,667 -♪♪ -(cheering, laughing) 1445 01:30:15,291 --> 01:30:17,583 Ooh, ooh, ooh. (laughing) 1446 01:30:23,333 --> 01:30:25,959 Oh, Aaron. 1447 01:30:26,834 --> 01:30:28,834 (singing in Japanese) 1448 01:30:30,792 --> 01:30:35,458 TAKASHI: (continues singing in Japanese) 1449 01:30:47,500 --> 01:30:51,417 ♪♪ 1450 01:30:51,500 --> 01:30:52,709 Woo! 1451 01:30:54,500 --> 01:30:55,834 Ya-hee! 1452 01:30:57,333 --> 01:30:58,333 (laughing) 1453 01:30:59,667 --> 01:31:03,166 -(cheering) -Muah! 1454 01:31:05,500 --> 01:31:09,792 ♪♪ (continues in Japanese) 1455 01:31:09,875 --> 01:31:14,125 TAKASHI (in English): ♪ Darling, I love you ♪ 1456 01:31:14,208 --> 01:31:17,125 ♪ Oh, darling ♪ 1457 01:31:17,208 --> 01:31:19,250 ♪ Darling, I love you ♪ 1458 01:31:19,333 --> 01:31:21,583 ♪ Love you ♪ 1459 01:31:22,542 --> 01:31:27,417 ♪ Darling ♪ 1460 01:31:27,500 --> 01:31:31,250 -(music stops) -(applauding, cheering) 1461 01:31:31,333 --> 01:31:34,208 Lewis, thanks for everything. 1462 01:31:36,375 --> 01:31:38,542 It's gonna be a great year. 1463 01:31:40,250 --> 01:31:43,333 (all guffawing) 1464 01:31:47,917 --> 01:31:49,834 (chattering) 1465 01:31:49,917 --> 01:31:51,709 Enhanced by Point.360 105971