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1
00:00:11,759 --> 00:00:14,679
(light rock music)
2
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,813
- So, my ideal guy,
3
00:00:18,879 --> 00:00:22,773
at least six foot or more,
lots of muscles. (giggling)
4
00:00:22,839 --> 00:00:24,453
At least a hundred kilos,
5
00:00:24,519 --> 00:00:26,214
and plenty of money.
6
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:29,613
My current boyfriend, 5'9, 75 kilos.
7
00:00:29,679 --> 00:00:31,920
- Oh, tell me about it, babe.
8
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:35,399
- Cheers man.
9
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:39,053
M'lady.
10
00:00:39,119 --> 00:00:39,960
- Why, thank you.
11
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:43,894
- Did you get any of that?
12
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,134
- Yes, riveting conversation.
13
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,880
- So, my ideal woman, she's beautiful,
14
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,854
And, uhh.
And she likes jazz,
15
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,293
she's a reader, she's smart.
16
00:00:56,359 --> 00:00:58,254
An IQ of at least 140.
17
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,653
- Oh, that is just typical of you, Simon.
18
00:01:01,719 --> 00:01:03,854
You have all these
unrealistic expectations
19
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,334
and then as soon as you have a few drinks,
20
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,093
you will be in the bed of the
next bimbo that passes by.
21
00:01:07,159 --> 00:01:08,774
- What are you talking about?
22
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,173
I was with Amy for like, three years.
23
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:12,134
- And you broke up last year.
24
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,774
- [Simon] And before that there was Jenna.
25
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:18,334
- That was uni, that was
like seven years ago!
26
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:21,854
Didn't she star in a pirate
themed porno or something?
27
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:23,293
- Hmm.
28
00:01:23,359 --> 00:01:25,040
"Wank the Plank" volume nine.
29
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,760
Saddest wank I've ever had.
30
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,574
- You're better off without her.
31
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,173
She's probably stuck in
some loveless marriage
32
00:01:34,239 --> 00:01:35,079
by now anyway.
33
00:01:36,239 --> 00:01:38,974
She was just another one of
those dumb, stunted girls
34
00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:40,934
you claim to hate yet can't seem
35
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,159
to keep your hands off.
36
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,494
- Are you guys talking about Jenna?
37
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:47,400
- Maybe.
38
00:01:48,319 --> 00:01:49,614
- I saw her the other day.
39
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:51,614
- Yeah?
How'd she look?
40
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:52,680
- Like 40.
41
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,293
She was with one of
those douchey gym guys.
42
00:01:57,359 --> 00:01:59,494
- Mmm, douchey gym guy.
43
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,159
Ring any bells?
- Hmm, interesting.
44
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,893
- You know those girls
who tan all the time?
45
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:08,719
And their skin gets all
like saggy and leatherlike?
46
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,919
- Oh, that could have been my future.
47
00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:14,520
Lucky I got out when I did.
48
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:16,334
- Pardon?
49
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:17,413
- Lucky I got out when I did?
50
00:02:17,479 --> 00:02:19,253
- You mean she dumped your sorry arse
51
00:02:19,319 --> 00:02:20,494
and you cried about it for a year.
52
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:21,693
- What are you talking about?
53
00:02:21,759 --> 00:02:24,253
It was a very mutual breakup.
54
00:02:24,319 --> 00:02:25,774
She wanted to see other people,
55
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,520
I wanted to see other people.
56
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,853
- Wasn't she in a pirate
themed porno once?
57
00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,214
- Yes, "Wank the Plank" volume nine.
58
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:34,599
- That's the one.
59
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,680
Weirdest wank I've ever had.
60
00:02:40,319 --> 00:02:41,774
And then there was Amy!
61
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,879
- Hmm, wow, time flies, huh?
62
00:02:45,319 --> 00:02:46,159
Seriously.
63
00:02:47,479 --> 00:02:49,599
I'm really ready to get back out there.
64
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,294
I'm going to find the one, all right?
65
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,294
- I could introduce you to some
easy gym babes if you want.
66
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,373
- (sighing) That works too.
67
00:02:58,439 --> 00:02:59,774
- God, men!
68
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,334
So easily distracted.
69
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,614
Their personality dissolves
when they see a pretty girl
70
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,413
and they turn into mindless zombies.
71
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:08,494
- Hi, Mitch.
72
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:09,413
- Hey, Beth.
73
00:03:09,479 --> 00:03:11,853
- Hey!
Hey, Beth.
74
00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:13,533
- You must be Simon.
75
00:03:13,599 --> 00:03:15,614
Mitch has told me so much about you.
76
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,133
- Really?
77
00:03:17,199 --> 00:03:18,693
All bad, I presume.
78
00:03:18,759 --> 00:03:20,693
- Beth's my favourite client from the gym.
79
00:03:20,759 --> 00:03:22,400
- Do you work out?
80
00:03:23,319 --> 00:03:25,894
- Yeah, yeah, every now and then.
81
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:27,039
- I can tell.
82
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,039
Oh man, I need another drink.
83
00:03:33,319 --> 00:03:34,533
- Allow me.
84
00:03:34,599 --> 00:03:36,734
You are far too pretty to
be buying your own drinks.
85
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,639
- Thank you.
86
00:03:45,719 --> 00:03:46,693
- Really?
87
00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:48,133
- What?
88
00:03:48,199 --> 00:03:49,573
She's hot.
89
00:03:49,639 --> 00:03:52,199
Oh come on, he needs a good lay.
90
00:03:57,039 --> 00:03:58,093
- [Blair] Simon!
91
00:03:58,159 --> 00:03:59,454
- Hey, buddy!
92
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,294
I'm gonna catch up.
- Hey!
93
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,800
- I'm gonna go home with that.
94
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:06,693
- Okay.
95
00:04:06,759 --> 00:04:10,014
Whatever happened to settling
down and finding the one?
96
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:10,919
- Blair.
97
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,734
What if she is the one? (laughing)
98
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:16,879
I don't know.
99
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,439
This is the best night of my life!
100
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,680
(birds chirping in distance)
101
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:49,974
(thudding)
102
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,294
(Simon whimpering)
103
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,839
(kooky music)
104
00:05:28,319 --> 00:05:30,494
- Hey man, I'm Steve.
105
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:31,654
You must be the new guy.
106
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,054
- [Simon] Simon, nice to meet you.
107
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:35,693
What do you mean new guy?
108
00:05:35,759 --> 00:05:37,079
- Morning, guys.
109
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,680
Oh, Simon, Steve, Steve, Simon.
110
00:05:47,879 --> 00:05:49,174
He's my boyfriend, silly.
111
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:52,133
- Boyfriend?
Man, I didn't know, I swear.
112
00:05:52,199 --> 00:05:53,813
- Well, one of them.
113
00:05:53,879 --> 00:05:55,333
- What?
114
00:05:55,399 --> 00:05:56,854
How many boyfriends do you have?
115
00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:57,813
- Seven.
116
00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,439
One for each day of the week.
117
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,133
Didn't I tell you that last night?
118
00:06:02,199 --> 00:06:03,333
- No, you didn't.
119
00:06:03,399 --> 00:06:05,253
- Pretty sure I did.
120
00:06:05,319 --> 00:06:08,934
Okay, well, Steve is my Sunday boyfriend.
121
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,813
He cooks the best breakfast
after my Saturday nights out.
122
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,373
- Morning.
- Morning.
123
00:06:15,439 --> 00:06:17,494
- Hey, man.
You must be the new guy.
124
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:18,974
I'm Shaun.
125
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,013
- [Beth] Shaun's my Friday boyfriend.
126
00:06:21,079 --> 00:06:23,333
- So what's he doing here today?
127
00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:25,693
- [Beth] All my boyfriends
live with me, silly.
128
00:06:25,759 --> 00:06:27,160
- Oh, of course.
129
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,893
- [Beth] He gives the best foot rubs.
130
00:06:29,959 --> 00:06:32,094
So good for Friday nights.
131
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,160
And you, you're number eight.
132
00:06:35,199 --> 00:06:37,013
- That's a pretty good
gig if you can get it.
133
00:06:37,079 --> 00:06:38,494
- Yeah.
134
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,693
- So what makes me
qualified for that role?
135
00:06:40,759 --> 00:06:43,773
- Well, you're so
insecure and downtrodden.
136
00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:47,253
So we could just snuggle up
and talk about our problems
137
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,120
and how sad you are.
138
00:06:51,199 --> 00:06:53,480
- I'm not insecure and downtrodden.
139
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:55,560
- Sup?
- Hey Seth.
140
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:57,879
- Come on!
141
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,734
- Aw, what's wrong, baby?
142
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,974
- Do your boyfriends see other people?
143
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,133
- Oh god, no.
144
00:07:05,199 --> 00:07:07,680
I would just die if any
of them cheated on me.
145
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,453
You guys wouldn't cheat on me, would you?
146
00:07:10,519 --> 00:07:11,414
- Of course not.
147
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,319
- No, babe.
- Are we out of milk?
148
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:19,013
- Simon, you're being
really weird about this.
149
00:07:19,079 --> 00:07:21,734
You're so old-fashioned.
150
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,373
This is how relationships work these days.
151
00:07:24,439 --> 00:07:26,854
- You have all of these guys serving you.
152
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:30,094
They make you breakfast,
they give you massages,
153
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,720
they fucking live with you?
154
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,519
What's in it for them?
155
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,519
- Well, me.
156
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:39,680
Isn't that enough?
157
00:07:43,639 --> 00:07:46,319
(Simon sighing)
158
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,519
- What was all that about?
159
00:08:17,319 --> 00:08:19,839
(light music)
160
00:10:09,879 --> 00:10:11,000
- Fuck Off!
161
00:10:22,399 --> 00:10:24,559
(ticking)
162
00:10:30,519 --> 00:10:35,414
(panting)
(ominous music)
163
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,720
(steps rumbling)
164
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:45,519
(typewriter clacking and dinging)
165
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,039
- 27.
166
00:10:51,639 --> 00:10:53,080
Graphic Designer.
167
00:10:54,799 --> 00:10:56,559
I don't like coffee.
168
00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:59,440
What else?
169
00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:01,799
- Say you like animals.
170
00:11:03,879 --> 00:11:04,693
What?
171
00:11:04,759 --> 00:11:06,453
I can't believe you didn't
ask me to help with this.
172
00:11:06,519 --> 00:11:08,559
It's gonna be so much fun.
173
00:11:10,519 --> 00:11:11,360
- I don't...
174
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:13,279
Hmm, okay.
175
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,399
I love animals.
176
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:21,279
Though I currently don't have any pets.
177
00:11:22,879 --> 00:11:23,879
Unless...
178
00:11:26,039 --> 00:11:27,333
You count my housemates, hmm?
179
00:11:27,399 --> 00:11:28,440
- Oh my god.
180
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,399
- What are you guys up to?
181
00:11:38,639 --> 00:11:41,294
- Simon is setting up an
online dating account.
182
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,534
- Finally.
183
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:43,440
- I know, right?
184
00:11:45,039 --> 00:11:46,799
- Tell them you have a tiny penis.
185
00:11:49,159 --> 00:11:49,973
What?
186
00:11:50,039 --> 00:11:52,054
I use that line all the time.
187
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,973
They feel sorry for you
and toss you a pity fuck.
188
00:11:55,039 --> 00:11:57,853
And then when they see it,
it exceeds their expectations
189
00:11:57,919 --> 00:12:00,333
and it's a pleasant surprise.
190
00:12:00,399 --> 00:12:01,240
- No, just no!
191
00:12:02,919 --> 00:12:05,374
- I'm telling you guys,
that's how you get chicks.
192
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,919
Set their expectations really low.
193
00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:12,254
- Well, the last time
Simon followed your advice,
194
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,240
it didn't exactly go well for him.
195
00:12:15,159 --> 00:12:16,559
- What are you referring to?
196
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:18,360
- Last night.
197
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,200
Beth.
198
00:12:21,759 --> 00:12:23,240
- She has seven boyfriends.
199
00:12:24,879 --> 00:12:25,720
- Oh yeah.
200
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:27,853
Knew there was something important
201
00:12:27,919 --> 00:12:29,519
I forgot to tell you about her.
202
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:34,559
- Let me.
203
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,254
- Oh, no, that was only one time!
204
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,654
Come on!
- And, submit!
205
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,399
- Wait, no!
No, no.
206
00:12:48,039 --> 00:12:50,679
- Okay.
- Let's look at your matches.
207
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:53,039
Matches, ooh!
208
00:12:53,919 --> 00:12:54,879
She looks cute.
209
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,720
- She looks like my sister.
210
00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:03,639
- How about her?
211
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,534
- She looks like my sister's dog.
212
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:07,440
- Simon!
213
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,639
Ah, how about this one?
214
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,573
- I don't like redheads.
215
00:13:15,639 --> 00:13:17,039
- Ah, okay.
216
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,279
Ooh, this one's cute.
217
00:13:22,919 --> 00:13:25,639
- Doesn't she have really weird eyelashes?
218
00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:30,174
- I think you're gonna have
to be a little less picky
219
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:31,973
if you really wanna meet a nice girl.
220
00:13:32,039 --> 00:13:35,174
- What is wrong with
having high standards?
221
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,774
- (sighing) Ooh, okay.
222
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,014
Jane.
223
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:43,414
She's a receptionist at a big law firm.
224
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,414
She collects vinyl.
225
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,039
She has two dogs.
226
00:13:49,399 --> 00:13:50,679
- She looks okay.
227
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,093
Hey Mitch?
228
00:13:57,159 --> 00:13:58,414
- [Mitch] Yeah?
229
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,000
- We have any more beers left?
230
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:03,853
- [Mitch] Yeah.
231
00:14:03,919 --> 00:14:05,600
- Cool, this wine taste like piss.
232
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,453
- [Blair] Hello Jane, I
read through your profile
233
00:14:21,519 --> 00:14:23,093
and couldn't resist saying hello.
234
00:14:23,159 --> 00:14:25,134
Having any luck with
this crazy online thing,
235
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,213
or just the usual desperados?
236
00:14:27,279 --> 00:14:29,213
- [Jane] Hi, Simon, no luck so far.
237
00:14:29,279 --> 00:14:31,014
(laughing) Yes, there are a lot
238
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,014
of strange ones online, I agree.
239
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,174
I like your profile.
240
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,333
- [Blair] Thanks for your reply.
241
00:14:35,399 --> 00:14:37,453
I just started online dating
and it's been a surprisingly
242
00:14:37,519 --> 00:14:39,014
pleasant experience so far.
243
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,534
- [Jane] Haha, you're funny.
244
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:41,733
I'd like to meet you.
245
00:14:41,799 --> 00:14:42,934
- [Blair] Where?
246
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,573
- [Jane] When?
247
00:14:44,639 --> 00:14:46,174
(jazz piano music)
248
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,320
- [Simon] So, Jane.
249
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:49,813
Tell me about yourself.
250
00:14:49,879 --> 00:14:51,333
- Not much to say, really.
251
00:14:51,399 --> 00:14:54,374
25, receptionist, I work out.
252
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,054
Nothing interesting really.
253
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:57,240
- I'm interested.
254
00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,453
Where do you work?
255
00:14:59,519 --> 00:15:01,414
- At a big law firm in the city.
256
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:02,399
Steele and Weiner?
257
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,519
- Steele and Weiner?
258
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,613
What do they specialise in?
259
00:15:08,679 --> 00:15:09,879
- Property law mainly.
260
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:11,799
- Oh.
261
00:15:17,399 --> 00:15:19,813
How'd you come to work there?
262
00:15:19,879 --> 00:15:21,294
- Funny story, actually.
263
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:22,934
I met Richard Steele through my parents.
264
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,693
They frequent the same golf club.
265
00:15:24,759 --> 00:15:26,853
One day, I went there to
have dinner with them.
266
00:15:26,919 --> 00:15:29,213
I had just finished my
Business Administration degree.
267
00:15:29,279 --> 00:15:30,960
Coincidentally, Richard was there.
268
00:15:32,039 --> 00:15:33,534
He was looking for a new receptionist
269
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,000
and he hired me on the spot.
270
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,360
That was two years ago.
271
00:15:40,759 --> 00:15:42,600
- Oh, that was the funny story?
272
00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:46,080
Okay.
273
00:15:49,639 --> 00:15:52,174
Do you see yourself
staying there long term?
274
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,853
- Not particularly.
275
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:54,759
- Okay.
276
00:16:02,159 --> 00:16:04,213
So, I noticed you have an accent.
277
00:16:04,279 --> 00:16:06,174
Where do you come from in America?
278
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,039
- I'm Canadian, eh.
279
00:16:09,519 --> 00:16:10,600
- [Simon] Oh.
280
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,014
I'm sorry.
281
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:13,919
- Why?
282
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,134
- Do you-
- I'd like to move to the suburbs
283
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,159
and have kids soon.
284
00:16:21,039 --> 00:16:21,879
- Nice.
285
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,679
White picket fence and a happy ending?
286
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,360
- I don't like white fences.
287
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:31,679
- Okay.
288
00:16:36,159 --> 00:16:39,014
(sighing) So do you want
me to walk you to your car?
289
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,093
- Oh, no, it's okay.
290
00:16:40,159 --> 00:16:41,200
It's just over there.
291
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,453
I had a nice time tonight.
292
00:16:44,519 --> 00:16:46,374
- Yeah, me too.
293
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,919
- So we'll do this again, right?
294
00:16:50,279 --> 00:16:51,120
- Sure.
295
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,774
It was nice meeting you, Jane.
296
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,693
- Yes, it was good for me too.
297
00:17:03,759 --> 00:17:04,599
Talk soon.
298
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:11,614
- (sighing) Won't be seeing her again.
299
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,493
- [TV Narrator] The highest
good we can strive for
300
00:17:14,559 --> 00:17:18,134
is to live with happiness and contentment.
301
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,599
(light kooky music)
- So...
302
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,279
My roommate's are out.
303
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,174
Wanna make a little noise?
304
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,094
- Aw, that's cute.
305
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,894
It's actually that time of the month.
306
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,253
- Oh.
307
00:17:31,319 --> 00:17:32,160
Okay.
308
00:17:34,079 --> 00:17:37,654
There are things you could do for me.
309
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,134
- Hah!
310
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,480
No, it's not the same.
311
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,279
- Oh, okay.
312
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,680
- I won't do anything like
that until we're engaged.
313
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:52,934
What do you think a pig sounds like
314
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,599
when it eats a person?
315
00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,839
(eerie music)
316
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,400
(gasping)
317
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,599
- Simon?
- Ugh.
318
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,013
- Simon, how much did you
have to drink last night?
319
00:18:24,079 --> 00:18:25,814
- I don't know.
320
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,039
Too much?
321
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,720
I'm drinking a little now
to help with the hangover.
322
00:18:38,039 --> 00:18:40,894
- Is everything okay?
323
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,253
- Everything is great.
324
00:18:42,319 --> 00:18:44,374
I just. I feel a little sad.
325
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:45,733
Isn't it okay to feel sad
326
00:18:45,799 --> 00:18:48,253
when everything is great?
327
00:18:48,319 --> 00:18:50,174
- I don't know.
328
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,880
Why were you drinking last night?
329
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:55,880
- Jane and I broke up.
330
00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,000
- Oh.
331
00:19:00,599 --> 00:19:02,053
I'm sorry to hear that.
332
00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:03,094
- Don't be.
333
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:04,000
I hated her.
334
00:19:07,759 --> 00:19:10,519
(sighing) No, I didn't hate her.
335
00:19:12,279 --> 00:19:14,720
She crushed my very essence.
336
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,440
- Hey, you are a great guy.
337
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,654
- [Mitch] You ready, B?
338
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,253
Oh, you look like shit, man.
339
00:19:25,319 --> 00:19:26,934
Everything okay?
340
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,440
- Him and Jane broke up.
341
00:19:29,319 --> 00:19:30,773
- Oh.
342
00:19:30,839 --> 00:19:32,894
Sorry to hear that.
343
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,733
Hey, if she gets all crazy ex on you,
344
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,279
I'll sleep with her if you want.
345
00:19:37,279 --> 00:19:39,733
- What on earth would that achieve?
346
00:19:39,799 --> 00:19:41,773
- Get her off his back.
347
00:19:41,839 --> 00:19:43,934
I'd do that for you, man.
348
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,559
'Cause I love you.
349
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,039
- Thanks, man.
350
00:19:49,519 --> 00:19:51,519
Are you guys going running or something?
351
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,480
- Yeah.
352
00:19:57,079 --> 00:19:59,414
(blender whirring)
- Ah, come on, man!
353
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,053
My head is killing me!
354
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:04,213
- Sorry Simon, just
trying to keep healthy.
355
00:20:04,279 --> 00:20:05,773
You know what they say.
356
00:20:05,839 --> 00:20:09,053
Healthy body, get all the chicks.
357
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,174
It's a thinking man's game.
358
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:12,079
- Okay.
359
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,519
I'm going to that cafe down the road.
360
00:20:17,519 --> 00:20:19,453
- I thought you hated that place.
361
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:20,359
- I do.
362
00:20:21,519 --> 00:20:24,839
But about a month ago, I saw
this amazing waitress there.
363
00:20:26,319 --> 00:20:28,134
I mean, I keep going back every few days
364
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,680
but I haven't seen her since.
365
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:31,654
(light music)
366
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,574
I was going to meet a client across town
367
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,480
and then I saw her.
368
00:20:39,759 --> 00:20:41,894
I was mesmerized.
369
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:43,440
I just had to talk to her.
370
00:20:45,279 --> 00:20:46,693
So when I walked into the cafe,
371
00:20:46,759 --> 00:20:48,574
she was at the front counter.
372
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,973
I approached the bench and said
373
00:20:50,039 --> 00:20:51,574
hey, can I please have a latte?
374
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:52,934
If it's not too much trouble.
375
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,374
- [Mitch] I thought you hated coffee.
376
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,493
- I do!
377
00:20:55,559 --> 00:20:56,894
But I was flustered.
378
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,894
I didn't know what else to say.
379
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,654
And then she said,
380
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,359
"I'll get that right
away" (girlish giggling)
381
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,400
And then I took my coffee and left.
382
00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:10,253
Maybe she'll be there today.
383
00:21:10,319 --> 00:21:11,453
I don't know.
384
00:21:11,519 --> 00:21:14,119
(bluesy music)
385
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,094
(thudding)
386
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:24,000
Ow.
387
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,733
(sighing)
388
00:21:28,799 --> 00:21:29,733
- Hi.
389
00:21:29,799 --> 00:21:31,375
- [Woman] Hi.
- What can I get for you?
390
00:21:31,441 --> 00:21:33,213
- [Woman] Can I please
get the turmeric latte?
391
00:21:33,279 --> 00:21:36,279
- [Barista] Yeah, sure.
- [Woman] That'd be great.
392
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,374
- [Simon] Can't believe
you talked me into this.
393
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:43,680
- Hey, it'll be fun.
394
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,094
Have a few drinks, mingle with some babes.
395
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:48,854
What could go wrong?
396
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,934
- You could abandon me for the
first pretty girl you meet.
397
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,240
- That won't happen, man.
398
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,000
Tonight, I'm your wingman.
399
00:21:58,799 --> 00:22:01,720
(light rock music)
400
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:07,440
(Simon clearing throat)
401
00:22:09,839 --> 00:22:12,240
- Mate, I'm not done with that.
402
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:18,814
- Hi, I'm Abby.
403
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,253
I just got out of a long term relationship
404
00:22:20,319 --> 00:22:22,574
with a girl named Kasey
and I'm kind of still upset about it
405
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,493
but tonight, I'm looking for a man
to give me a good time, because,
406
00:22:25,559 --> 00:22:26,374
I've always been gay
407
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:27,414
and I'm at a point in my life
408
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,053
where I want to experiment and experience
409
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:30,839
what the opposite sex has to offer. (gasp)
410
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,053
- Hi, Abby, I'm Simon.
411
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:38,574
I've always been straight, but tonight I was
really hoping to bed a desperate lesbian.
412
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,334
- Well that was quite crude of you, Simon.
413
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,160
Come on, let's go.
- Um, okay.
414
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,240
Now?
- Yes, come on!
415
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,053
- [Simon] Ow, can you
spread your legs a bit more?
416
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,493
- If you could just shift over.
417
00:22:52,559 --> 00:22:53,574
Ah, you're crushing my arm!
418
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:54,759
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
419
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,119
- Oh!
Does that always get that hard?
420
00:22:59,000 --> 00:22:59,920
- Pretty much.
421
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:02,319
Are you ready, or?
422
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,374
- I think so.
- Okay.
423
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,453
- Agh!
- Sorry.
424
00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:09,094
- Agh!
- Sorry.
425
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,134
- Agh, just stop!
- Sorry, sorry.
426
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:12,134
Are you okay?
427
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,334
- Yeah, I just,
428
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:14,574
I just got a cramp.
429
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,174
- [Woman] Abby?
430
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,414
- [Abby] Kasey?
- Abby, what is this man doing on top of you?
431
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:19,480
Get off her!
432
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,814
- [Simon] Hi.
- I'm gonna kill you, you-
433
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,519
- No, no!
No!
434
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,119
(thudding)
435
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,013
- Kasey!
436
00:23:41,079 --> 00:23:42,240
What the fuck?
437
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,359
(light eerie music)
438
00:24:30,599 --> 00:24:32,759
(gasping)
439
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,319
(airy music)
440
00:26:54,559 --> 00:26:57,640
(light guitar music)
441
00:27:30,039 --> 00:27:32,094
- Blair and I have been best
friends since high school.
442
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,614
We went to the same uni together as well.
443
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,920
I studied Graphic Design
and she studied Photography.
444
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:40,574
We also met Mitch there.
445
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:42,920
He wasn't a student, he
worked at the uni gym.
446
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,453
He also went to all the student parties.
447
00:27:47,519 --> 00:27:49,453
Actually I'm pretty sure
he tried to hit on Blair
448
00:27:49,519 --> 00:27:53,293
the first time he met her. (chuckling)
449
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:54,839
- A Photography degree.
450
00:27:56,519 --> 00:27:58,839
What does one do with a
degree in photography?
451
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,574
Take pretty little black and white
452
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,693
pictures of flowers and spiderwebs
453
00:28:05,759 --> 00:28:07,200
and morning mist, maybe.
454
00:28:08,279 --> 00:28:09,574
And do some headshot work on the side
455
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,319
so as not to completely starve.
456
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:17,359
I got an office job in the city.
457
00:28:22,839 --> 00:28:24,440
Maybe I'll go overseas one day.
458
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,000
That might be nice.
459
00:28:28,799 --> 00:28:31,720
Or get a real photography job.
460
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,400
Not feel like such a sellout.
461
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:39,880
- I don't need much.
462
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,920
As long as I have my job and
some pretty girls, I'm good.
463
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,134
(mouse clicking)
464
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,720
(jazzy music)
465
00:29:13,039 --> 00:29:14,279
- Hello, Simon.
466
00:29:16,559 --> 00:29:17,880
- Um, hi, Simon.
467
00:29:19,279 --> 00:29:21,559
- Hi, darling!
468
00:29:26,319 --> 00:29:27,614
- So I'll tell you a little about myself
469
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,414
and then you can talk if you want.
470
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,533
- Sorry I'm not very interesting.
471
00:29:31,599 --> 00:29:33,134
Why don't we talk about you?
472
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,894
- I'm pretty fab, as you can tell.
473
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,400
Beauty and brains.
474
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,053
- I'm 29, I started my own
business when I was 19.
475
00:29:43,119 --> 00:29:45,293
It's now worth just over four million.
476
00:29:45,359 --> 00:29:47,134
I'm a career-orientated girl.
477
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:51,559
- I work for a big firm
in the city. (laughing)
478
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,614
- Sorry I don't have more to talk about.
479
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,374
- I like to keep a strict schedule,
480
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:58,854
so if anything comes of this,
481
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,654
I can either book you in
two hours every second day
482
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,213
or three hours every third day.
483
00:30:04,279 --> 00:30:06,240
- I haven't had a boyfriend in a while.
484
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,279
I'm not sure why.
485
00:30:09,279 --> 00:30:11,440
But I try not to let it get me down.
486
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,293
- I like to multitask.
487
00:30:15,359 --> 00:30:18,213
It's not uncommon for me to
check work emails during sex.
488
00:30:18,279 --> 00:30:19,654
I'm just letting you know now
489
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:21,414
because some guys I've
been with in the past
490
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,013
have thought it was weird for some reason.
491
00:30:24,079 --> 00:30:26,654
So, my place our yours?
492
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,599
- I'm sorry, this isn't going to work.
493
00:30:29,559 --> 00:30:32,533
You're just so insecure and downtrodden.
494
00:30:32,599 --> 00:30:35,640
- You are just too cute.
495
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,240
I just want to gobble you up!
496
00:30:40,119 --> 00:30:42,400
Mmm, yummy boy!
497
00:30:45,359 --> 00:30:47,039
- Hey, Sime!
- Hey.
498
00:30:48,559 --> 00:30:51,400
Really serious about this
whole exercising thing, huh?
499
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,854
- How's the whole online dating thing?
500
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,854
- Weird and confusing.
501
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:02,160
Just like real dating.
502
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,493
- Really?
503
00:31:04,559 --> 00:31:06,733
What about that Taylor girl?
504
00:31:06,799 --> 00:31:08,134
Her profile pic looked good.
505
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,680
(kooky music)
506
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:13,880
- Don't even get me started.
507
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,414
- Hey, you wanna go out tonight, Sime?
508
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:19,854
- No thanks.
509
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,854
Not after last time.
510
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:22,880
- What do you mean?
511
00:31:24,359 --> 00:31:26,400
- You were supposed to be my wingman.
512
00:31:27,839 --> 00:31:29,279
You just left with that girl.
513
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:31,894
- What do you expect?
514
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,733
You never put out.
515
00:31:33,799 --> 00:31:35,253
A man can only wait so long.
516
00:31:35,319 --> 00:31:39,253
- I don't think Simon wants
a one night stand right now.
517
00:31:39,319 --> 00:31:43,119
- Every man wants a one
night stand right now.
518
00:31:45,119 --> 00:31:47,614
- Don't you guys have jobs to go to?
519
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,119
- Eh, my first client's not til 11.
520
00:31:51,039 --> 00:31:52,053
- My office is closed.
521
00:31:52,119 --> 00:31:55,174
Some brainiac started a fire
in the kitchen yesterday.
522
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:57,160
I am going to the gallery later though
523
00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:58,839
with a friend.
524
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:02,960
- You working from home again?
525
00:32:04,079 --> 00:32:05,574
- (sighing) No.
526
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,599
The internet is down, again.
527
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,079
I'm gonna go work from the cafe.
528
00:32:14,759 --> 00:32:19,759
(keyboard clacking)
(kooky music)
529
00:32:21,119 --> 00:32:24,039
(machine whirring)
530
00:32:33,839 --> 00:32:35,493
- We just met.
- I know.
531
00:32:35,559 --> 00:32:36,493
- We're so naughty.
532
00:32:36,559 --> 00:32:37,400
- Yeah.
533
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:41,733
- Wait here.
534
00:32:41,799 --> 00:32:42,640
- Okay.
535
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:50,013
Wow, okay.
536
00:32:50,079 --> 00:32:51,574
- Can I put this on you?
537
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:52,839
- Sure, why not?
538
00:32:59,279 --> 00:33:01,293
(cuffs clicking)
Ah, what are you doing?
539
00:33:01,359 --> 00:33:04,174
- The safe word is jelly.
540
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:05,599
- What?
541
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,934
What are you doing?
- Making you my bitch, Simon,
542
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,414
what do you think I'm doing?
543
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,013
- (laughing) You're crazy!
544
00:33:15,079 --> 00:33:17,013
(whacking)
Ah, what are you doing with that?
545
00:33:17,079 --> 00:33:17,973
(whacking)
Ow!
546
00:33:18,039 --> 00:33:19,013
Ow, that really hurts!
547
00:33:19,079 --> 00:33:20,453
- I'm not crazy.
548
00:33:20,519 --> 00:33:21,733
I'm a modern woman.
549
00:33:21,799 --> 00:33:23,374
And this is how people fuck now!
550
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:24,574
- No, it's, ow!
551
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,493
No it's not, you fucking weirdo!
552
00:33:27,559 --> 00:33:28,814
I thought you were nice!
553
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:29,814
- [Dominatrix Girl] You little bitch.
554
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:31,094
You call yourself a man?
555
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,094
I'm more of a man than you'll ever be!
556
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,094
- Oh, jelly, jelly!
557
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,640
(tense music)
558
00:33:40,559 --> 00:33:41,359
- Cool.
559
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:49,839
Call me.
560
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,639
(light relaxing music)
561
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,280
- Mmmmm.
562
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,480
Mmmmmm.
563
00:34:30,159 --> 00:34:33,159
(busy tone beeping)
564
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:35,880
- Dad.
565
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:38,694
- Hey.
566
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:39,920
- [Simon] Hey.
567
00:34:42,519 --> 00:34:44,079
- What's with the peas, mister?
568
00:34:46,079 --> 00:34:47,480
- Gentlemen problems.
569
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:50,719
- Don't wanna know.
570
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:53,239
Beach?
571
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:55,280
- Oh, okay.
572
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:01,360
So, I met a girl.
573
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,199
- Oh.
574
00:35:06,159 --> 00:35:08,453
- She kicked the shit out of me.
575
00:35:08,519 --> 00:35:09,360
- Oh.
576
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:12,320
What happened?
577
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,039
- Doesn't matter.
578
00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:19,533
- You're one of the good ones, you know.
579
00:35:19,599 --> 00:35:22,133
Any woman'd be lucky to have you.
580
00:35:22,199 --> 00:35:23,519
I know I am.
581
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:27,814
- Thanks, B.
582
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,679
You're a gem.
583
00:35:38,079 --> 00:35:40,013
- Do you remember that birthday card
584
00:35:40,079 --> 00:35:41,639
you made me in uni?
585
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,679
- [Simon] Oh yes, a
crude example of my art.
586
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,360
- Do you remember much of that night?
587
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:54,679
- Uh...
588
00:35:58,559 --> 00:35:59,400
Nope.
589
00:36:01,599 --> 00:36:03,519
We were both pretty drunk.
590
00:36:04,639 --> 00:36:09,053
I do remember that you
almost vomited on me.
591
00:36:09,119 --> 00:36:11,374
- Aww.
(both laughing)
592
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:12,880
- I still liked you.
593
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,013
- You know, you're a really
good graphic designer, Simon.
594
00:36:21,079 --> 00:36:22,414
- You think so?
595
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:24,493
- Yeah, of course.
596
00:36:24,559 --> 00:36:25,774
You always have been.
597
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,493
And, I think if you spent as much time
598
00:36:27,559 --> 00:36:29,053
focusing on your career as you spend
599
00:36:29,119 --> 00:36:31,854
returning home with
ambiguous penis injuries,
600
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:34,093
you could be really successful.
601
00:36:34,159 --> 00:36:37,453
(Simon laughing)
602
00:36:37,519 --> 00:36:38,400
- Thanks, Blair.
603
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,320
You're right, I really should buckle down.
604
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:46,239
Start getting things done.
605
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:49,559
No more distractions.
606
00:36:50,559 --> 00:36:53,039
(light music)
607
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,214
- Why haven't you told him?
608
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:46,774
- I will.
609
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,814
But the opportunity just,
610
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:51,320
I mean it hasn't presented itself yet.
611
00:37:52,599 --> 00:37:54,039
It's hard.
612
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:55,840
- Why?
613
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:57,639
- Whassap?!
614
00:37:59,119 --> 00:37:59,934
- Hey.
615
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,653
How was the interview?
616
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:04,093
- You are looking at the new
617
00:38:04,159 --> 00:38:06,613
lead designer at the biggest
advertising firm in the city.
618
00:38:06,679 --> 00:38:07,653
- That's amazing!
619
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:09,214
I'm so proud of you!
620
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:10,573
- You know those suited automatons
621
00:38:10,639 --> 00:38:12,239
you see walking around the city?
622
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:14,453
Well that's gonna be me now.
623
00:38:14,519 --> 00:38:16,814
- Hey, chicks love those kind of guys.
624
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:17,814
- I know.
625
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,934
Things are looking up for this guy.
626
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,934
Only downside is I have to get
up at six tomorrow morning.
627
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,679
(alarm beeping)
628
00:38:40,079 --> 00:38:41,254
- Hey, how are you?
629
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:42,374
You good?
630
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,493
- Awesome.
- Yeah, I had the most amazing morning.
631
00:38:45,559 --> 00:38:46,613
I know.
632
00:38:46,679 --> 00:38:49,013
Ah, what are you doing here?
633
00:38:49,079 --> 00:38:50,613
You know I'm working.
634
00:38:50,679 --> 00:38:51,920
- I don't care.
635
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:58,360
(melancholy music)
636
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:33,453
- Tony has really let
himself go over the years.
637
00:39:33,519 --> 00:39:34,774
He's almost 100 kilos now.
638
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,493
- Mmm.
- I mean, I go running every day.
639
00:39:37,559 --> 00:39:39,414
I still have a nice arse.
640
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:41,653
He just sits around smoking
and drinking all day.
641
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:44,960
- Yeah, you do have a
really nice ass, sweety.
642
00:39:55,039 --> 00:39:56,493
- Simon, what's wrong?
643
00:39:56,559 --> 00:39:58,800
- Blair, there's something
I need to tell you.
644
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:01,320
- What?
645
00:40:03,159 --> 00:40:04,000
- I love you.
646
00:40:07,559 --> 00:40:08,814
- For real?
647
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:09,719
- Yeah.
648
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:15,239
- Simon, I'm moving to Africa.
649
00:40:17,159 --> 00:40:18,000
- What?
650
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:20,493
- I've been meaning to tell you but-
651
00:40:20,559 --> 00:40:24,414
- But what?
(man humming)
652
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:25,414
- Hey, babe.
653
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:26,694
Ready to bounce or what?
654
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,374
Movie's about to start.
You know I don't wanna miss those ads.
655
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:29,294
Love those ads!
656
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,734
- Simon, this is Abe.
657
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:33,734
He's my boyfriend.
658
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,840
- Hey yo, what's up, my
brother from another mother?
659
00:40:37,639 --> 00:40:38,480
All right.
660
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,854
- We've been seeing each
other for about a month.
661
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:43,760
- Oh.
662
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,694
- Can you wait in the car for me, babe?
663
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:49,760
- Sure thing, B, be you.
664
00:40:51,199 --> 00:40:52,039
Later, brah.
665
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:55,533
(thumping)
666
00:40:55,599 --> 00:40:57,400
Boom! (finger snapping)
667
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:08,519
- Why didn't you tell me?
668
00:41:10,159 --> 00:41:11,133
- I didn't wanna hurt you.
669
00:41:11,199 --> 00:41:13,280
- Well that plan's gone
to shit now, hasn't it?
670
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:19,119
When are you leaving?
671
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:22,414
- Next weekend.
- Next weekend?!
672
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,053
- I'm really sorry.
- No, it's fine.
673
00:41:24,119 --> 00:41:25,694
I completely understand.
674
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:27,613
You have absolutely no respect for me.
675
00:41:27,679 --> 00:41:28,734
- No, it's not like that.
676
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,480
I just was scared.
677
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:32,800
- Does Mitch know?
678
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:35,854
- Yes.
- He was in on it too?
679
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:37,494
Where is he?
I need to talk to him.
680
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,079
- He's at work.
681
00:41:42,199 --> 00:41:43,334
I knew you had a crush on me,
682
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,133
that's why I didn't say anything.
683
00:41:45,199 --> 00:41:47,093
- It is not a crush, Blair.
684
00:41:47,159 --> 00:41:49,133
You are the only woman
who has been there for me
685
00:41:49,199 --> 00:41:50,173
no matter what.
686
00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:52,214
And now, I find out you're leaving
687
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:53,613
with some dickhead you just met!
688
00:41:53,679 --> 00:41:55,533
- Abe's a great guy!
689
00:41:55,599 --> 00:41:57,453
Who we're gonna walk
the continent of Africa.
690
00:41:57,519 --> 00:41:59,294
He's gonna show me a part of the world
691
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:00,653
I never would have seen otherwise!
692
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:01,973
- Well have a look at this.
693
00:42:02,039 --> 00:42:04,533
The strong, independent,
third way feminist
694
00:42:04,599 --> 00:42:05,814
has been swept off her feet
695
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,814
by some third rate Nigerian prince.
696
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:09,880
- He's Congonese.
- I don't give a shit!
697
00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:12,854
I thought you were different.
698
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:14,613
But you are just as vapid
699
00:42:14,679 --> 00:42:16,334
as every other woman I've met recently.
700
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,079
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
701
00:42:19,119 --> 00:42:20,013
- Mitch here?
702
00:42:20,079 --> 00:42:20,920
- [Both] No!
703
00:42:27,519 --> 00:42:29,573
- I have to get going.
704
00:42:29,639 --> 00:42:30,774
Abe's waiting for me.
705
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,440
(upbeat music)
706
00:42:35,519 --> 00:42:36,400
- Okay, whatever.
707
00:43:06,679 --> 00:43:07,519
- Hey, man.
708
00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:10,559
- Hey.
709
00:43:12,079 --> 00:43:13,679
- Blair told me what happened.
710
00:43:15,519 --> 00:43:16,360
You okay?
711
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:18,239
- Yeah.
712
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,480
- I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
713
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:32,119
- It's okay.
714
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,280
She's the one that should have told me.
715
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,294
- Life is weird, huh?
716
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:40,760
- Sometimes.
717
00:43:43,039 --> 00:43:45,280
It has its moments though.
718
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:51,573
I really thought we'd
all be living together
719
00:43:51,639 --> 00:43:52,639
longer than this.
720
00:43:53,679 --> 00:43:54,920
- I'm not going anywhere.
721
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:58,920
- I know, man.
722
00:44:01,199 --> 00:44:03,280
- It's not gonna be
the same though, is it?
723
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,613
You know, this is gonna sound weird,
724
00:44:06,679 --> 00:44:09,573
but I'm really gonna miss
having a chick around
725
00:44:09,639 --> 00:44:11,800
that would never consider
sleeping with me.
726
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,254
- (Simon) Don't feel bad.
727
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,679
I don't think she's slept
with anyone in years.
728
00:44:22,039 --> 00:44:23,519
Till now, I guess.
729
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:27,440
- Didn't the two of you
hook up in uni once?
730
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:30,679
- Yeah.
731
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:35,639
It felt weird though.
732
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,239
It was a stupid thing to do.
733
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:45,480
There was some good to it, I guess.
734
00:44:46,639 --> 00:44:47,920
- What was good about it?
735
00:44:49,599 --> 00:44:52,814
- It felt like it somehow
strengthened our relationship.
736
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:55,719
(Mitch chuckling)
737
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:57,800
- I love you, man.
738
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:00,880
As a friend, I mean.
739
00:45:03,679 --> 00:45:05,199
- I love you too, Mitch.
740
00:45:12,199 --> 00:45:14,774
- I'm gonna go for a jog.
741
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:15,679
- Yeah, yeah.
742
00:45:18,079 --> 00:45:21,599
I'm gonna go wash my hair.
743
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,280
So today's the day, huh?
744
00:45:42,119 --> 00:45:42,960
- Yeah.
745
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:46,573
Abe's gonna be here any
minute to pick me up.
746
00:45:46,639 --> 00:45:48,453
(sombre guitar music)
747
00:45:48,519 --> 00:45:49,360
- [Simon] Cool.
748
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,800
- I'm really gonna miss you, Sime.
749
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:01,840
- I'm gonna miss you too, B.
750
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,653
- I'll write to you,
751
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:08,239
when we get there.
752
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:10,679
- Sounds nice.
753
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:14,214
(phone buzzing)
754
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:15,814
- That's Abe.
755
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,320
He just got here.
756
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:20,093
- You better get going.
757
00:46:20,159 --> 00:46:21,960
Don't want you to be late on my account.
758
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:24,320
- Yeah.
759
00:46:51,199 --> 00:46:52,053
Hey, Simon?
760
00:46:52,119 --> 00:46:52,960
- Yeah?
761
00:47:11,159 --> 00:47:14,159
(crickets chirping)
762
00:47:27,199 --> 00:47:29,760
(gun clacking)
763
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:36,719
(slurping)
764
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:45,334
- Bang.
765
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:48,159
(Simon laughing)
766
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:01,079
(light guitar music)
767
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:57,334
(light piano music)
768
00:48:57,400 --> 00:48:58,774
- [Stella] Bobby?
769
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:00,493
You shouldn't be here.
770
00:49:00,559 --> 00:49:02,334
My parent's will be home any minute.
771
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:03,453
- [Bobby] Why not?
772
00:49:03,519 --> 00:49:05,053
We belong together, Stella.
773
00:49:05,119 --> 00:49:07,013
- [Stella] No, I can't.
774
00:49:07,079 --> 00:49:08,734
You're just so
775
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:09,694
bad.
776
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:11,254
- [Bobby] I know.
777
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:13,894
But sometimes, at night,
778
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:16,934
I look up at the stars
and I want to be good.
779
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,159
- [Stella] Oh, Bobby!
780
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,480
- You know, I still think everyone knows.
781
00:49:23,639 --> 00:49:24,480
- Knows what?
782
00:49:25,559 --> 00:49:27,774
Why do we keep watching this shit?
783
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:29,133
- Because it's simple.
784
00:49:29,199 --> 00:49:30,613
No one has any real problems.
785
00:49:30,679 --> 00:49:32,613
- What are you talking about?
786
00:49:32,679 --> 00:49:34,973
Everyone is cheating on everyone.
787
00:49:35,039 --> 00:49:36,533
- Cheating's not so bad.
788
00:49:36,599 --> 00:49:37,599
Happens to everyone.
789
00:49:38,639 --> 00:49:40,294
Oh, not me, I've never been cheated on.
790
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:43,814
- That's because you've never
been in a real relationship.
791
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:44,880
- I was once.
792
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:47,774
- Really?
793
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:49,653
What happened?
794
00:49:49,719 --> 00:49:51,440
- Fell apart.
795
00:49:54,639 --> 00:49:55,480
- Why?
796
00:49:58,079 --> 00:50:01,199
- She expected me to not
sleep with other women.
797
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:03,533
- What a witch.
798
00:50:03,599 --> 00:50:04,920
- I know, right?
799
00:50:06,639 --> 00:50:09,280
Wouldn't it be so much easier to be gay?
800
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:12,720
- Maybe.
801
00:50:18,079 --> 00:50:20,679
- We should probably start
looking for a new housemate.
802
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:26,079
- Yeah, I guess so.
803
00:50:30,199 --> 00:50:31,719
- Do you think you're gonna miss her?
804
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:34,600
- Yeah.
805
00:50:35,639 --> 00:50:36,480
I do.
806
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:39,653
- She could come back.
807
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:41,013
- You think so?
808
00:50:41,079 --> 00:50:42,013
- Yeah.
809
00:50:42,079 --> 00:50:44,814
I mean, she's only known
the guy for a month.
810
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:47,214
It could fall apart at any moment.
811
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:50,573
You know, whenever I meet a girl I like,
812
00:50:50,639 --> 00:50:52,639
I think we're gonna be together forever.
813
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:55,214
- Then what happens?
814
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:57,294
- Then we have sex a few times
815
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:59,573
and I feel satisfied.
816
00:50:59,639 --> 00:51:01,840
Like she's given me
everything I wanted from her.
817
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:06,894
- Thanks for that.
818
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:08,480
- [Mitch] No worries, mate.
819
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,360
(eerie music)
820
00:51:23,679 --> 00:51:26,679
(light piano music)
821
00:51:28,559 --> 00:51:29,400
- Hey, Blair.
822
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:32,453
- Simon, what are you doing here?
823
00:51:32,519 --> 00:51:34,480
Abe will be here any minute.
824
00:51:35,719 --> 00:51:37,613
- I live here.
825
00:51:37,679 --> 00:51:40,493
And I don't care about Abe.
826
00:51:40,559 --> 00:51:44,053
- Simon, I can't, you're just so
827
00:51:44,119 --> 00:51:45,694
bad.
828
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:47,320
- You have no idea.
829
00:52:00,519 --> 00:52:02,053
(tense music)
830
00:52:02,119 --> 00:52:03,679
(strange rustling sound)
831
00:52:19,639 --> 00:52:24,639
(Mitch speaks backwards)
832
00:52:25,159 --> 00:52:27,519
(Simon speaks backwards)
833
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:32,093
(jazz music)
834
00:52:32,159 --> 00:52:34,920
(beer trickling)
835
00:52:44,639 --> 00:52:45,480
Steamy!
836
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:53,480
- Morning.
- Morning.
837
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:55,854
- [Mitch] Hey, I got some replies
838
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:56,934
to that roommate wanted ad.
839
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,133
- Yeah?
Anyone good?
840
00:52:59,199 --> 00:53:00,854
- [Mitch] Hmm, a few.
841
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:03,934
Actually one from a girl
by the name of Hannah.
842
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:04,840
- Really?
843
00:53:05,679 --> 00:53:07,199
Hmm, I always liked that name.
844
00:53:08,079 --> 00:53:10,374
- [Mitch] Yeah, she just lives
around the corner as well.
845
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,093
I walked past her straight
on the way to work.
846
00:53:12,159 --> 00:53:13,960
- Well how about that?
847
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,374
We should set up a meetup with her.
848
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:20,573
- Yeah sure, let's invite her over.
849
00:53:20,639 --> 00:53:22,199
- Hmm, no.
850
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:24,894
Let's meet her in a neutral place.
851
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:27,133
That cafe down the road.
852
00:53:27,199 --> 00:53:29,440
- You're so predictable.
853
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,960
(Mitch sighing)
854
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:36,719
Fuck!
855
00:53:38,559 --> 00:53:39,639
Are we out of protein?
856
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:43,519
- It is literally right in
front of your fucking face!
857
00:53:44,519 --> 00:53:45,360
- Oh!
858
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:51,320
I'll tee up that Hannah
thing and let you know.
859
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:01,159
(phone buzzing)
860
00:54:13,159 --> 00:54:15,133
- Hey, you must be Hannah?
861
00:54:15,199 --> 00:54:16,374
- That's what they tell me.
862
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:18,694
You must be Mitch.
- No, I'm Simon.
863
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:21,053
Mitch couldn't make it.
- Oh, you're the other guy.
864
00:54:21,119 --> 00:54:22,294
- [Simon] That's what they tell me.
865
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:24,880
(kooky music)
866
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:19,694
- So tell me, what's
it like being lesbians?
867
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:21,639
- (laughing) It's great.
868
00:55:22,519 --> 00:55:23,573
- Oh, it is so much fun.
869
00:55:23,639 --> 00:55:25,533
- Oh yeah.
- You guys like kiss and stuff, right?
870
00:55:25,599 --> 00:55:27,133
- Ah, all the time.
871
00:55:27,199 --> 00:55:29,254
That's like all we do.
- Of course!
872
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:30,613
- Hey, Mitch.
873
00:55:30,679 --> 00:55:32,093
- Oh, hey Simon.
874
00:55:32,159 --> 00:55:34,414
Girls, this is the guy
I was telling you about.
875
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:36,133
- Hi, Simon.
- Hi.
876
00:55:36,199 --> 00:55:40,653
- Simon, this is Valentina and Adriana.
877
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:43,374
- Hi, Simon, we've
heard so much about you.
878
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:45,814
- Yes, that you're funny, a gentleman
879
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:47,254
and you're looking for the one.
880
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,613
- But you just keep getting hurt!
881
00:55:49,679 --> 00:55:50,519
Aw!
882
00:55:51,559 --> 00:55:53,533
- I went to the gym to
meet my new clients,
883
00:55:53,599 --> 00:55:55,814
and it turned out to be these guys.
884
00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:57,854
And they just moved
here from South America
885
00:55:57,920 --> 00:55:59,814
and they're looking for a place to live.
886
00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:02,374
- Yes, senor Mitch was so nice
887
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:04,294
to give us a room for free.
888
00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:06,854
- Yes, he really is such a good man.
889
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,093
If it wasn't for his generosity,
890
00:56:09,159 --> 00:56:11,360
darling Val and I might be on the street.
891
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:16,013
- Just look at her, just
like way too pretty to be a,
892
00:56:16,079 --> 00:56:16,920
how you say, homo?
893
00:56:18,639 --> 00:56:19,493
- Hobo.
894
00:56:19,559 --> 00:56:22,013
(both laughing)
895
00:56:22,079 --> 00:56:23,214
What can I say?
896
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:24,360
I'm a great guy.
897
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:26,453
- Fucking golden.
898
00:56:26,519 --> 00:56:28,719
Hey Mitch, can I speak to
you in the kitchen, mate?
899
00:56:34,159 --> 00:56:36,533
- What's up?
- Did you seriously just give the room
900
00:56:36,599 --> 00:56:39,934
to a Uruguayan lesbian
couple with no money?
901
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:40,840
- No!
902
00:56:42,119 --> 00:56:43,294
They're Argentinian.
903
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:45,400
- Christ, Mitch, I was gone an hour!
904
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:50,133
We need to be splitting
the rent three ways.
905
00:56:50,199 --> 00:56:52,854
We can't afford to pay the
whole thing by ourselves.
906
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:53,894
- Why not?
907
00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:55,774
We both have jobs.
908
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:58,694
What's the harm in doing
good for people in need?
909
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:01,880
- You are doing it 'cause they're
both incredibly beautiful!
910
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,360
These girls could be drug
mules for all you know.
911
00:57:07,519 --> 00:57:09,013
Laying low off of their latest little trek
912
00:57:09,079 --> 00:57:10,320
across the Pacific.
913
00:57:11,159 --> 00:57:12,013
- That's just you, isn't it,
914
00:57:12,079 --> 00:57:14,173
always worst case scenario.
915
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:15,653
- Worst case scenario?
916
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:17,800
What good could possible come of this?
917
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:20,734
- Maybe they'll make out in front of us.
918
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:22,800
- We're not giving them the room, Mitch.
919
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:25,854
- Yeah, yeah, you're right, but,
920
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:27,973
we can't just kick these
girls out on their arses.
921
00:57:28,039 --> 00:57:30,294
They're actually really nice.
922
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:31,694
(women speaking in Spanish)
923
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:35,133
[Mitch] Can we let them
sleep in the lounge room?
924
00:57:35,199 --> 00:57:37,414
- [Simon] Mitch.
925
00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:38,613
- [Mitch] Look, just for a little while.
926
00:57:38,679 --> 00:57:40,894
We'll give someone else the room
927
00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:44,133
and we'll let the girls
stay just for a few weeks.
928
00:57:44,199 --> 00:57:46,320
Then I'll make sure they leave, I promise.
929
00:57:50,119 --> 00:57:51,000
- Okay.
930
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:55,000
That works, it's a compromise.
931
00:57:57,360 --> 00:57:59,679
No more funny business
with these girls, okay?
932
00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:06,334
I gotta head out for a bit.
933
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:07,694
Just surprise me for once
934
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:09,000
and don't be a dickhead.
935
00:58:10,039 --> 00:58:10,880
- Later.
936
00:58:14,679 --> 00:58:17,774
(women speaking in Spanish)
937
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:18,679
Ladies.
938
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:22,800
I've just had a little chat with Simon.
939
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:29,133
And we've decided to throw
you a huge housewarming party
940
00:58:29,199 --> 00:58:30,533
to welcome you into our home!
941
00:58:30,599 --> 00:58:33,599
- [Valentina] That's fantastic, wow!
942
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:43,533
(light sitar music)
943
00:58:43,599 --> 00:58:45,559
- Mmmmmm.
944
00:58:49,039 --> 00:58:49,973
Mmmmmm.
945
00:58:50,039 --> 00:58:52,679
(phone buzzing)
946
00:58:56,719 --> 00:58:59,133
- Hello, son.
- Hey Dad, what's up?
947
00:58:59,199 --> 00:59:00,814
- I'm just in the garden.
948
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:02,133
What are you up to?
949
00:59:02,199 --> 00:59:03,039
- Not much.
950
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:06,973
Blair moved to Africa.
951
00:59:07,039 --> 00:59:08,854
- Really?
952
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:10,199
I didn't see that coming.
953
00:59:11,239 --> 00:59:12,079
- Me neither.
954
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:14,973
- That's a shame.
955
00:59:15,039 --> 00:59:16,934
You two were such good friends.
956
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:18,374
- Yeah.
957
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:21,119
Well, she met this African guy.
958
00:59:22,239 --> 00:59:24,334
I guess he swept her off her feet.
959
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:25,920
- That's quite unlucky.
960
00:59:27,599 --> 00:59:29,360
Well, someone else will come along.
961
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:31,774
- What do you mean?
962
00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:34,934
- Well I always saw you
two ending up together.
963
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:36,173
- Really?
964
00:59:36,239 --> 00:59:37,053
- Yeah.
965
00:59:37,119 --> 00:59:39,173
Yeah, back in high school.
966
00:59:39,239 --> 00:59:41,694
I always saw some
chemistry between you two
967
00:59:41,760 --> 00:59:43,934
whether you two saw it or not.
968
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:44,840
- I never did.
969
00:59:45,719 --> 00:59:48,133
- Well, maybe she'll come back.
970
00:59:48,199 --> 00:59:49,440
- I wouldn't count on it.
971
00:59:52,239 --> 00:59:55,414
- You know, after your mother died,
972
00:59:55,480 --> 00:59:58,694
I swore I'd never fall in love again.
973
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:00,934
I couldn't let myself.
974
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:02,639
- Then what happened?
975
01:00:03,519 --> 01:00:05,414
- I never fell in love again.
976
01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:08,800
I moved to the country,
started gardening, meditating.
977
01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:10,599
Now here I am.
978
01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:13,414
I'm content enough.
979
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:14,400
But I was wrong.
980
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:17,214
- [Simon] About what?
981
01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:18,119
- [Dad] Everything.
982
01:00:19,199 --> 01:00:23,334
There's no such thing as
soulmates or perfect matches.
983
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:24,639
People just settle.
984
01:00:26,079 --> 01:00:27,254
You know some people get lucky
985
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:30,013
and find someone halfway compatible.
986
01:00:30,079 --> 01:00:32,960
But most people just
take what they can get.
987
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:36,480
And it's finding the wrong
person at the right time.
988
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:39,774
- What if you meet the right
person at the wrong time?
989
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:43,414
- Well that's called being
in your 20s. (chuckling)
990
01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:45,133
(Simon chuckling)
991
01:00:45,199 --> 01:00:47,840
But seriously, things
will work out in time.
992
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:50,559
You'll know it when you feel it.
993
01:00:51,400 --> 01:00:52,239
- Thanks, Dad.
994
01:00:53,119 --> 01:00:54,013
- All right.
995
01:00:54,079 --> 01:00:55,854
I better get back to it.
996
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:57,613
- Sure thing, bye.
997
01:00:57,679 --> 01:00:58,519
- Bye bye.
998
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:11,400
(light music)
999
01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:24,133
(phone buzzing)
1000
01:01:24,199 --> 01:01:26,694
- Hello?
- Hey, Hannah, it's Simon.
1001
01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:28,374
- Hey Simon, what's up?
1002
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:29,639
- Well, umm... we, umm...
1003
01:01:30,679 --> 01:01:32,800
We're kind of having a
party on Friday night.
1004
01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:36,854
If you wanna come over
for a bit and hang out.
1005
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:38,613
- Okay, that sounds nice.
1006
01:01:38,679 --> 01:01:40,734
- Cool, the party starts at seven.
1007
01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:42,854
- Cool, I'll see you then.
1008
01:01:44,559 --> 01:01:45,559
- Okay, bye.
1009
01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:49,519
(Simon chuckling)
1010
01:02:28,199 --> 01:02:31,973
(upbeat dance music)
1011
01:02:32,039 --> 01:02:35,053
(punches thumping)
1012
01:02:35,119 --> 01:02:38,039
(crowd chattering)
1013
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:53,493
- Hey, Simon!
1014
01:02:53,559 --> 01:02:54,814
What took you so long, buddy?
1015
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:56,093
- [Simon] I had to stay late at work.
1016
01:02:56,159 --> 01:02:57,774
We're in the middle of a big project.
1017
01:02:57,840 --> 01:02:59,173
What is this?
1018
01:02:59,239 --> 01:03:02,053
- It's called a party, you uppity prude.
1019
01:03:02,119 --> 01:03:04,493
- [Simon] It's not like
any party I've seen before.
1020
01:03:04,559 --> 01:03:05,920
Is that guy dead?
1021
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:08,093
- Get over yourself.
1022
01:03:08,159 --> 01:03:09,734
You just need to loosen up, man.
1023
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:11,920
Hey, there's someone you need to meet.
1024
01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:17,719
(vomiting)
1025
01:03:24,079 --> 01:03:26,360
Come on, you big silly boy.
1026
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:30,719
Simon.
1027
01:03:32,159 --> 01:03:35,334
This little specimen is Oddball.
1028
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:36,653
- Ah, fuck you, Mitch!
1029
01:03:36,719 --> 01:03:38,173
Ah, I'm just kidding.
1030
01:03:38,239 --> 01:03:39,814
I love this guy.
1031
01:03:39,880 --> 01:03:42,093
- You know why they call him Oddball?
1032
01:03:42,159 --> 01:03:42,973
- No.
1033
01:03:43,039 --> 01:03:47,653
- This guy has the weirdest
pair of nuts you've ever seen.
1034
01:03:47,719 --> 01:03:49,973
- Oh, I don't know
they're all right to me.
1035
01:03:50,039 --> 01:03:53,854
Some people might not think so but hey,
live and let judge is what I always say.
1036
01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:55,294
- This guy's a sweetheart.
1037
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:57,734
- Hey, I've got a theory
about this guy, Mitch.
1038
01:03:57,800 --> 01:03:59,254
- He's a bit uh, he's a bit gay.
1039
01:03:59,320 --> 01:04:00,414
Maybe even pansexual.
1040
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:01,934
That's when you're like
attracted to pans and shit.
1041
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:03,973
- That's just wishful
thinking on your behalf.
1042
01:04:04,039 --> 01:04:06,053
- Ah, you fucking love it, give me a kiss.
1043
01:04:06,119 --> 01:04:06,960
- Get off.
1044
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:09,639
- Oy, preggers, hand us that coke.
1045
01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:12,653
Come on Mother Teresa, hand it over.
1046
01:04:12,719 --> 01:04:14,133
I know you got coke.
1047
01:04:14,199 --> 01:04:16,173
- Under what circumstances have you seen
1048
01:04:16,239 --> 01:04:18,039
that strange man's testicles?
1049
01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:20,774
- He gets naked and runs around
1050
01:04:20,840 --> 01:04:22,573
whenever he's had a few drinks.
1051
01:04:22,639 --> 01:04:24,239
(laughing) It's hilarious.
1052
01:04:25,559 --> 01:04:26,734
Yeah, it's bound to happen soon.
1053
01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:29,133
- Can't wait.
1054
01:04:29,199 --> 01:04:30,854
- [Oddball] Woo, choo choo choo!
1055
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:32,254
On the snorty train!
1056
01:04:32,320 --> 01:04:34,133
- [Crazy Old Man] I am the second coming!
1057
01:04:34,199 --> 01:04:35,440
Jesus of Nazareth!
1058
01:04:36,719 --> 01:04:37,613
- Hey, Hannah!
1059
01:04:37,679 --> 01:04:39,053
- Hey, Simon.
1060
01:04:39,119 --> 01:04:40,374
What's going on here?
1061
01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:42,093
- [Crazy Old Man] Bow before me!
1062
01:04:42,159 --> 01:04:43,493
- It's only 7:30.
1063
01:04:43,559 --> 01:04:46,493
- I know, all right.
I just got in from work, it's a bit much.
1064
01:04:46,559 --> 01:04:48,200
- Yeah.
- Come on.
1065
01:04:49,599 --> 01:04:52,079
So, how have you been?
1066
01:04:53,159 --> 01:04:57,254
- Simon, what's going on in there?
1067
01:04:57,320 --> 01:05:00,254
Was that a mound of coke
on your kitchen table?
1068
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:01,159
- I think so.
1069
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:03,774
I don't know where it came from.
1070
01:05:03,840 --> 01:05:05,294
- Do you have these parties often?
1071
01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:07,280
- No, never.
1072
01:05:08,480 --> 01:05:11,334
I just thought it was gonna
be a few close friends.
1073
01:05:11,400 --> 01:05:13,854
We drink some wine, eat some cheese,
1074
01:05:13,920 --> 01:05:15,734
play celebrity heads.
1075
01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:18,173
- Well, I'm pretty sure
I saw a guy out there
1076
01:05:18,239 --> 01:05:20,214
who thought he was Jesus, so.
1077
01:05:20,280 --> 01:05:22,960
(both laughing)
1078
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,440
- That seems to be my life these days.
1079
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:33,119
A bunch of surreal occurrences
1080
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:36,159
that have no real relation to one another.
1081
01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:39,400
What are you doing?
1082
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:42,840
- Okay, who are you?
1083
01:05:44,360 --> 01:05:45,214
- Rider Haggard?
1084
01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:47,760
- No, it's you.
1085
01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:49,800
It's always you.
1086
01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:54,453
- Thanks, Hannah.
1087
01:05:54,519 --> 01:05:55,719
- You're welcome, Simon.
1088
01:05:57,119 --> 01:05:58,973
Now I'm going to leave.
1089
01:05:59,039 --> 01:06:01,079
This type of party isn't really my scene.
1090
01:06:02,559 --> 01:06:04,294
But I like you, Simon.
1091
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:06,894
I'd like to see you again sometime.
1092
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:08,093
- Like a date?
1093
01:06:08,159 --> 01:06:09,694
- Maybe.
1094
01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:11,573
But on one condition.
1095
01:06:11,639 --> 01:06:14,453
- Okay.
- I hope you're not always such a sad sack, Simon.
1096
01:06:14,519 --> 01:06:16,214
- I try not to be.
1097
01:06:16,280 --> 01:06:17,334
- Great.
1098
01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:20,814
Okay, well keep in touch.
1099
01:06:20,880 --> 01:06:21,719
- Of course.
1100
01:06:29,159 --> 01:06:31,679
(dance music)
1101
01:06:34,440 --> 01:06:35,254
- [Beth] Hey, Simon.
1102
01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:36,613
- [Sunday Steve] Hey, man.
1103
01:06:36,679 --> 01:06:38,294
- Hey, guys.
Hey Oddball-
1104
01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:40,973
- Hey guys, who finished all the cocaine?
1105
01:06:41,039 --> 01:06:41,880
- Thanks
1106
01:06:43,440 --> 01:06:44,694
- [Simon] Hey, guys.
1107
01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:47,453
- Simon, there you are!
1108
01:06:47,519 --> 01:06:50,093
- There's a girl you just have to meet.
1109
01:06:50,159 --> 01:06:52,093
- She's just perfect for you.
1110
01:06:52,159 --> 01:06:54,894
- And she's so pretty.
1111
01:06:54,960 --> 01:06:57,453
- [Simon] Yeah thanks, I'm
actually looking for Mitch.
1112
01:06:57,519 --> 01:06:58,573
Do you know where he is?
1113
01:06:58,639 --> 01:07:00,814
- Why, he's in the lounge room.
1114
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:01,880
(giggling)
1115
01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:06,480
- [Simon] Oy Mitch.
1116
01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:10,119
Ah, Taylor?
1117
01:07:12,039 --> 01:07:13,934
(laughing)
1118
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:14,840
- [Blair] Simon.
1119
01:07:17,639 --> 01:07:19,000
- [Simon] Blair.
1120
01:07:26,039 --> 01:07:29,199
- He took me back to his village and
1121
01:07:30,559 --> 01:07:35,119
just casually introduced
me to his six wives.
1122
01:07:37,239 --> 01:07:38,960
I was supposed to be number seven.
1123
01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:42,039
One for each day of the week.
1124
01:07:45,079 --> 01:07:47,973
I lost it, I just ran out of there.
1125
01:07:48,039 --> 01:07:51,934
I mean Abe and all his wives
looked so confused, like,
1126
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:54,079
my reaction was so foreign to them.
1127
01:07:56,440 --> 01:08:00,653
I ran out of the village
and hitched a ride
1128
01:08:00,719 --> 01:08:02,760
on a traveling circus.
1129
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:06,039
I learned how to juggle.
1130
01:08:08,559 --> 01:08:12,814
I got to Kinshasa safely enough, but,
1131
01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:14,573
I didn't have enough
money for a flight home
1132
01:08:14,639 --> 01:08:18,093
so I had to flirt with this old pilot
1133
01:08:18,159 --> 01:08:21,973
to give me a ride on a cargo
flight to Indonesia and
1134
01:08:22,039 --> 01:08:24,640
then I had just enough money
to get home from there.
1135
01:08:28,479 --> 01:08:29,319
- Wow.
1136
01:08:33,760 --> 01:08:35,279
- I was so stupid.
1137
01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:38,574
Going halfway across the world for a guy
1138
01:08:38,640 --> 01:08:40,000
I didn't even know.
1139
01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:44,520
I just, I thought he was different.
1140
01:08:45,760 --> 01:08:48,694
You know, I've always been so cynical,
1141
01:08:48,760 --> 01:08:50,439
it gets really tiring.
1142
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:55,133
I just wanted to meet a nice guy
1143
01:08:55,199 --> 01:08:57,880
who understood me.
1144
01:09:01,920 --> 01:09:04,520
I don't think I've ever met a nice guy.
1145
01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:07,960
Except you.
1146
01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:13,439
You've always been there for me, Simon.
1147
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,039
You can always make me laugh.
1148
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:22,439
You must hate me after what I did.
1149
01:09:25,159 --> 01:09:26,520
- I don't hate you, Blair.
1150
01:09:28,479 --> 01:09:29,680
Not at all.
1151
01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:41,199
But I have met someone else.
1152
01:09:47,199 --> 01:09:49,239
I've got a good feeling about her.
1153
01:09:54,199 --> 01:09:55,319
- That's good for you.
1154
01:09:56,800 --> 01:09:58,800
You deserve it, Simon.
1155
01:10:05,079 --> 01:10:07,159
I don't know what's next for me now.
1156
01:10:09,159 --> 01:10:11,079
- I'm sure you'll be fine.
1157
01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:16,479
You are the smartest person I've ever met.
1158
01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:20,359
You're incredible, B.
1159
01:10:22,720 --> 01:10:23,574
- Really?
1160
01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:24,479
- Yes!
1161
01:10:31,920 --> 01:10:34,814
I think you should have some rest.
1162
01:10:34,880 --> 01:10:36,560
Why don't you take my bed tonight?
1163
01:10:37,880 --> 01:10:39,560
- You sure?
- Yeah.
1164
01:10:40,760 --> 01:10:42,159
I can crash on the couch.
1165
01:10:43,960 --> 01:10:44,800
- Thanks.
1166
01:10:58,760 --> 01:11:01,279
(dance music)
1167
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:06,253
- Hey, hey, what are you guys doing?
- It's my new fucking bed, haha!
1168
01:11:06,319 --> 01:11:09,894
- Put down the fucking couch, scumbag!
1169
01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:11,373
I am sick of men taking from me
1170
01:11:11,439 --> 01:11:12,814
whatever they fucking please!
1171
01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:14,720
- Whoah, whoah, whoah.
1172
01:11:20,479 --> 01:11:21,894
- Ah, let him go.
1173
01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:23,894
He's not worth it.
1174
01:11:23,960 --> 01:11:25,640
Blair, call the cops.
1175
01:11:26,720 --> 01:11:29,053
- Dad, what are you doing here?
1176
01:11:29,119 --> 01:11:30,894
- I thought I'd come check up on you.
1177
01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:33,093
You sounded upset on the phone.
1178
01:11:33,159 --> 01:11:36,013
- Uhh, better hide the drugs.
1179
01:11:36,079 --> 01:11:37,774
- Yes, hello, we need police.
1180
01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:39,814
- Freeze!
This place is surrounded!
1181
01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:41,293
- [Blair] That was quick.
1182
01:11:41,359 --> 01:11:43,814
- Why are you pinning
that man against the wall?
1183
01:11:43,880 --> 01:11:45,173
Let him go.
1184
01:11:45,239 --> 01:11:46,373
- [Blair] He was trying to steal the-
1185
01:11:46,439 --> 01:11:48,359
- Let him go!
1186
01:11:50,880 --> 01:11:53,560
Can someone turn that fucking music off?
1187
01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:57,133
(radio clicking)
1188
01:11:57,199 --> 01:12:00,694
Can you believe the shit
kids listen to these days?
1189
01:12:00,760 --> 01:12:03,894
Right, let's get this over with.
1190
01:12:03,960 --> 01:12:05,774
Where is Mitchell Turcotte?
1191
01:12:05,840 --> 01:12:07,053
- Right here, boss.
1192
01:12:07,119 --> 01:12:09,093
- We apprehended him in the confusion.
1193
01:12:09,159 --> 01:12:10,199
- [Taylor] Good work.
1194
01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:13,173
- What's going on, girls?
1195
01:12:13,239 --> 01:12:14,413
- We're cops, dumbarse!
1196
01:12:14,479 --> 01:12:16,894
- We've been undercover to
get intelligence on you.
1197
01:12:16,960 --> 01:12:18,413
- [Blair] Intelligence?
1198
01:12:18,479 --> 01:12:20,373
- Don't tell me you didn't know.
1199
01:12:20,439 --> 01:12:21,454
Mitch here has been running
1200
01:12:21,520 --> 01:12:25,133
the largest bedroom drug
operation on the East Coast.
1201
01:12:25,199 --> 01:12:28,534
We've been keeping tabs on him for months.
1202
01:12:28,600 --> 01:12:31,413
- That explains why he keeps
a lock on his bedroom door.
1203
01:12:31,479 --> 01:12:33,494
- Ah, excuse me, officer.
1204
01:12:33,560 --> 01:12:35,574
I don't believe you've
identified yourself.
1205
01:12:35,640 --> 01:12:39,293
- My real name is
Detective Harry Dixonballs.
1206
01:12:39,359 --> 01:12:41,774
(Simon snickering)
1207
01:12:41,840 --> 01:12:43,614
Grow up, mate.
1208
01:12:43,680 --> 01:12:46,494
I'm head of the State Drug Commission.
1209
01:12:46,560 --> 01:12:48,734
As you've probably gathered by now,
1210
01:12:48,800 --> 01:12:51,373
this is a bust.
1211
01:12:51,439 --> 01:12:54,053
I need everyone who doesn't
live here to leave now.
1212
01:12:54,119 --> 01:12:55,454
The residents of this address
1213
01:12:55,520 --> 01:12:58,133
need to stay put for questioning!
1214
01:12:58,199 --> 01:12:59,373
- Is this a joke?
1215
01:12:59,439 --> 01:13:00,534
Are you actually like
1216
01:13:00,600 --> 01:13:02,640
one of those male strippers or something?
1217
01:13:04,560 --> 01:13:09,039
- Do I look like a fucking
male stripper to you?
1218
01:13:10,800 --> 01:13:12,359
Look into my eyes.
1219
01:13:13,359 --> 01:13:16,253
Do you think I'm about to rip off my dress
1220
01:13:16,319 --> 01:13:20,439
and rub my COCK! in
your dirty little face?!
1221
01:13:22,199 --> 01:13:23,479
- I guess not.
1222
01:13:24,720 --> 01:13:27,934
- You best watch your tone with me.
1223
01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:28,894
- Enough with the dramatics.
1224
01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:30,520
Can we just get this over with?
1225
01:13:31,840 --> 01:13:35,173
- I don't think you get it, Mitch.
1226
01:13:35,239 --> 01:13:37,600
You're going to the fucking Big House!
1227
01:13:39,399 --> 01:13:44,013
Do you know what they do
with pups like you in jail?
1228
01:13:44,079 --> 01:13:44,920
Do you?!
1229
01:13:47,039 --> 01:13:50,454
They're quite kind, actually.
1230
01:13:50,520 --> 01:13:55,494
They smuggle in some cherry red lipstick
1231
01:13:55,560 --> 01:13:58,840
and give you a nice little makeover.
1232
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:03,600
Ah, you'll look so pretty.
1233
01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:08,934
(laughing) You're in deep shit, son.
1234
01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:13,013
And nothing, nothing can save you now.
1235
01:14:13,079 --> 01:14:14,279
- Hey everyone.
1236
01:14:15,119 --> 01:14:18,413
Who wants to see me do the helicopter?
1237
01:14:18,479 --> 01:14:19,854
Here we go.
1238
01:14:19,920 --> 01:14:21,734
I know you've all been
waiting for this all evening.
1239
01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:24,894
He's all warmed up.
- Holy shit!
1240
01:14:24,960 --> 01:14:26,934
- What's wrong with your nuts, boy?
1241
01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,413
- I've never seen a pair like that before.
1242
01:14:29,479 --> 01:14:30,734
- They're magnificent.
1243
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:31,734
- [Oddball] It's starting up.
1244
01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:34,053
It's starting up, whoah!
1245
01:14:34,119 --> 01:14:35,973
Okay, this is Oddball reporting
for Channel Seven News
1246
01:14:36,039 --> 01:14:37,213
Eye in the Sky.
1247
01:14:37,279 --> 01:14:41,894
It's about the snowflakes, aha! (laughing)
1248
01:14:41,960 --> 01:14:44,133
I love you guys, I really do.
1249
01:14:44,199 --> 01:14:45,520
Anyway, bye!
1250
01:14:47,039 --> 01:14:48,694
- [Adriana] He got away!
1251
01:14:48,760 --> 01:14:50,013
- Shit!
1252
01:14:50,079 --> 01:14:51,253
Go after him!
1253
01:14:51,319 --> 01:14:53,239
I'll stay here and crowd control.
1254
01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:56,934
- [Blair] I thought you said
the place was surrounded.
1255
01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,814
- Ugh, I was bluffing.
1256
01:14:59,880 --> 01:15:01,534
Budget cuts.
1257
01:15:01,600 --> 01:15:03,373
Don't get me started.
1258
01:15:03,439 --> 01:15:05,600
- [Blair] What a useless Detective.
1259
01:15:07,359 --> 01:15:09,934
- [Harry] What was that, Missy?
1260
01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:11,333
- I've met men like you before.
1261
01:15:11,399 --> 01:15:13,373
You think you can do and
say whatever you want
1262
01:15:13,439 --> 01:15:15,013
to whomever you want without consequence,
1263
01:15:15,079 --> 01:15:16,373
I'm fucking sick of it.
1264
01:15:16,439 --> 01:15:19,253
I'm sick of people who don't
believe in accountability!
1265
01:15:19,319 --> 01:15:21,093
I will be reporting you.
1266
01:15:21,159 --> 01:15:23,173
- Don't you dare do that!
1267
01:15:23,239 --> 01:15:24,734
- [Blair] Excuse me?
1268
01:15:24,800 --> 01:15:27,293
- You'll be put on a list.
1269
01:15:27,359 --> 01:15:31,213
A list of troublesome people.
1270
01:15:31,279 --> 01:15:35,359
Things will be made difficult for you.
1271
01:15:36,239 --> 01:15:37,934
- Are you threatening me?
1272
01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:42,199
- I'm telling you how the
world works, sweetheart.
1273
01:15:44,039 --> 01:15:45,119
I know people.
1274
01:15:46,039 --> 01:15:48,720
People in high places.
1275
01:15:49,840 --> 01:15:51,039
- Fuck yourself.
1276
01:15:52,560 --> 01:15:54,494
- What did you say?!
1277
01:15:54,560 --> 01:15:55,854
- Fuck yourself.
1278
01:15:55,920 --> 01:15:59,093
Get out of my house, you fascist pig!
1279
01:15:59,159 --> 01:16:00,333
- That's it.
1280
01:16:00,399 --> 01:16:04,574
I'm gonna beat the shit
out of you, arsehole!
1281
01:16:04,640 --> 01:16:05,534
- Hey!
1282
01:16:05,600 --> 01:16:08,239
No one threatens my son!
1283
01:16:09,159 --> 01:16:11,213
(roaring)
1284
01:16:11,279 --> 01:16:13,439
(hitting)
1285
01:16:20,439 --> 01:16:22,960
(nostalgic music)
1286
01:16:24,560 --> 01:16:27,199
- [Simon Voiceover] It sure
was a crazy time, my 20s.
1287
01:16:28,199 --> 01:16:29,654
I always thought that when I turned 30
1288
01:16:29,720 --> 01:16:32,093
my life would become
stable all of a sudden.
1289
01:16:32,159 --> 01:16:34,293
Like something would
click and I'd finally feel
1290
01:16:34,359 --> 01:16:36,253
like a real adult.
1291
01:16:36,319 --> 01:16:39,013
Well, now I'm 30.
1292
01:16:39,079 --> 01:16:41,534
And there hasn't really been a click yet.
1293
01:16:41,600 --> 01:16:44,173
But when I think back to those few months,
1294
01:16:44,239 --> 01:16:46,159
there's a world of difference.
1295
01:16:49,239 --> 01:16:53,053
Harry Dixonballs decided not
to press charges against Dad.
1296
01:16:53,119 --> 01:16:55,814
On the condition that
we didn't report him.
1297
01:16:55,880 --> 01:16:58,494
He was dismissed a few
months later though.
1298
01:16:58,560 --> 01:17:00,133
There was a big corruption scandal
1299
01:17:00,199 --> 01:17:02,774
that he was involved with on a low level.
1300
01:17:02,840 --> 01:17:05,213
The higher ups used him as a scapegoat.
1301
01:17:05,279 --> 01:17:07,333
It was all over the news.
1302
01:17:07,399 --> 01:17:09,920
I started to believe in karma after that.
1303
01:17:11,520 --> 01:17:14,013
I hadn't heard from Mitch until last week.
1304
01:17:14,079 --> 01:17:15,734
He sent me a postcard.
1305
01:17:15,800 --> 01:17:18,413
Turns out he ran away to
some small country town
1306
01:17:18,479 --> 01:17:20,439
and started his new life
1307
01:17:22,359 --> 01:17:23,840
as a gay cowboy.
1308
01:17:24,880 --> 01:17:27,720
He married Sunday Steve and
they worked a ranch together.
1309
01:17:28,800 --> 01:17:32,093
Blair got a photography job in New York.
1310
01:17:32,159 --> 01:17:33,520
We lost touch though.
1311
01:17:34,880 --> 01:17:36,079
All my old friends,
1312
01:17:37,319 --> 01:17:39,934
all the girls I met along the way,
1313
01:17:40,000 --> 01:17:42,614
they're not the ones this story's about.
1314
01:17:42,680 --> 01:17:45,039
It's me, it's always me.
1315
01:17:46,039 --> 01:17:47,119
I married Hannah.
1316
01:17:48,159 --> 01:17:50,093
A private wedding on the beach.
1317
01:17:50,159 --> 01:17:52,173
Dad officiated the ceremony.
1318
01:17:52,239 --> 01:17:54,173
It wasn't extravagant, or grandiose.
1319
01:17:54,239 --> 01:17:57,494
It was just a simple moment in time.
1320
01:17:57,560 --> 01:17:59,093
Me, dressed like I was going to one
1321
01:17:59,159 --> 01:18:00,934
of my Nan's Sunday roasts,
1322
01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:04,253
and her in a beautiful dress.
1323
01:18:04,319 --> 01:18:05,734
I bought our old house.
1324
01:18:05,800 --> 01:18:08,253
It was weird without
Mitch and Blair though.
1325
01:18:08,319 --> 01:18:10,734
Hannah and I lived there
together for a year,
1326
01:18:10,800 --> 01:18:13,640
but ultimately, her and I
just weren't meant to be.
1327
01:18:15,680 --> 01:18:17,013
I sold the house.
1328
01:18:17,079 --> 01:18:18,093
I took a slight loss on it
1329
01:18:18,159 --> 01:18:20,293
but I didn't mind too much.
1330
01:18:20,359 --> 01:18:23,000
It came to represent a
tumultuous time in my life.
1331
01:18:24,520 --> 01:18:27,253
But now, I'm 30.
1332
01:18:27,319 --> 01:18:30,640
And I'm taking steps towards
finding inner stability.
1333
01:18:32,960 --> 01:18:34,774
I crossed the globe
1334
01:18:34,840 --> 01:18:38,479
to chase the most stable
figure I had in my adult life.
1335
01:18:40,359 --> 01:18:41,894
Blair.
1336
01:18:41,960 --> 01:18:43,239
It's always Blair.
1337
01:18:44,359 --> 01:18:46,199
I don't know if she'll be interested.
1338
01:18:47,199 --> 01:18:48,680
But I have to try.
1339
01:18:49,680 --> 01:18:51,279
I have to take the chance.
1340
01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:01,640
And even if it doesn't work out,
1341
01:19:03,399 --> 01:19:05,439
maybe I'll learn something.
1342
01:19:18,079 --> 01:19:20,359
(knocking)
1343
01:19:42,720 --> 01:19:45,640
(light rock music)
85387
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