Original subtitles

[silence]

[music box playing "Amazing Grace"]

[music box playing "Amazing Grace" softens]

Hey, Boo, Mommy's gonna strangle you if you take her snow globe again.

I know, Dad, but it's the only chance we're gonna have to see snow this year.

It is pretty, too.

What are you working on?

I'm working on Algebra 2.

Can you dear old dad help?

No way!

Why?

Because there's letters AND numbers.

It's not even real math anymore!

You've got a point. It's definitely a Mommy thing.

Yeah.

Did you see the Knight's game the other night?

Dad, you still watch the Knights? They suck.

That they do, but you know I'm a loyal fan; I can't help it.

I've been watching them since before I was your age.

So you're loyal to the laundry not necessarily the team.

Absolutely.

I am under the understanding

that YOU are going to be in Tampa next week.

Yes, you are correct.

And Tampa has the best cowboy boot stores. You know, your dad's a size 14.

Dream on, Dad.

You can always get me a cowboy hat.

Could I though? I'd have to get it custom-made for that big head of yours.

Ouch!

I love you, pal.

I love you, too, Dad.

Guys, does it get any better than this?

A February night and we're camping.

Yeah, there's something about that sentence that doesn't quite make it.

February. The whole camping part for me is what kills it. And February just doesn't... weird. It is weird.

It kind of gives you that global warming is kind of an effect kind of thing.

I know it's climate change, whatever, but it is weirdly, oddly, like warm,

unlike this beer which is nice and cold.

I gotta, I gotta tell you, Steve, I've never seen anybody dressed so snazzily to go camping.

You got a cool blazer, button-down shirt.

Yeah, dude, what are you doing?

I'm not an outdoors guy.

You're like the Johnny Cash of camping.

Thank you, that's what I was going for.

I like it. I like it.

Like who is he gonna run into while camping? I don't get it.

It's like a hot-looking bear like "Hey, what's up?"

Well, flashy colors I think, if I'm, you know, I'll throw them off.

No, It's true. It'll run after you. I hope.

Remember, the bear only eats the slowest out of all of us.

Okay, well then, I'm finished.

I think he means mentally, which in case we're good.

Oh!

What you're line? What?

What's you're line?

ZING!

It is weird that it's so warm here.

It's also weird that we're out camping.

No, it's not.

It is. Your wife and daughter go away, for how long?

They'll be, maybe, seven to ten days they're gonna be down there.

And you think yourself ALRIGHT the wife and kid are gone, let's do something cool...

camping.

Camping.

We used to love to go camping.

Yeah, as kids.

Now we're older guys.

Now we think of the wife and kid are gone,

you call up friends and play poker.

You go out and see a game, which we're missing.

Or hey, let's go to an establishment that serves wings

and the ladies aren't dressed as a, as much as normal.

And if we're really being honest here,

I didn't really like camping as a kid, either, but I didn't...

You just blew my mind because you know what I remember so fondly of camping?

I remember that time we went camping we had to be, I don't know,

I was nine, you were like 36.

And you told me you had a crush on Maureen McArdle.

Maureen McArdle.

Wow!

Maureen McArdle, Oh, wasn't she the redhead?

She was the redhead.

Oh, yeah.

The one that got away.

Got away? You had no chance.

She was an older woman.

I was nine she was twelve.

[laughter] Beautiful.

She was cute. Maureen. She was, she was very cute.

I wonder where, do you think she's camping today? No. Doubtful.

I think she's working at Hooters.

You got to be really cool to camp in February.

Yeah. Cool is the right word.

When are we ever gonna get this chance again? The weather's beautiful.

In the summer. That's when you have another chance.

Many months of chances.

But it is nice and quiet, that's for sure.

Look at those stars, and that moon.

Well, that's the good thing about a cold night,

it makes the sky clear.

Yeah.

But you know what's kind of worrisome?

What's that?

I always was told that when there was that little ring around the moon like that

that means it's gonna snow.

You're out of your mind, man. It's in the 50s.

That's why we're out here on a February night.

It's never gonna snow.

I'm just saying what they tell you.

You know, like red skies at night,

oh sailor's delight. Right.

It's kinda like goes by that.

So seven days, you'll be on your own?

Yeah, I'm thinking that I'm gonna take a ride up to the cabin tomorrow.

I picked up some Valentine's Day gifts when I went to the fair with the with the girls last time

and really excited about giving it to them. But I'm gonna go up I'll do a

little fishing, do a little hiking, it's not all the time that I get you know a little you alone time.

Hold on a second.

You mean to tell me you actually go and buy Valentine's gifts AHEAD of 24 hours before Valentine's Day?

Not usually. Like a lot of time? Not usually.

They saw stuff at the fair.

My daughter saw this really, really cool panda hat and she fell in love with it.

And my wife saw this fleece that she really likes. I really have trouble finding them gifts

so whenever they find something that they really like, you know. I try to get it.

You're making me gonna vomit a little. You're so cute.

You're such a good dad. I hate you.

It happens.

Yeah, you're a lot of things but you're a wonderful family man.

Yeah, I can bust your chops all I want. I prefer to hear

about the wonderful things part, you know.

Nah, it's true, though man, I gotta hand it to you,

you really are a great dad. You brought up a wonderful daughter.

And you're a great brother.

Eh.

And you're not too shabby as a friend my...

Thank you sir.

My comrade over there.

Look I mean look at he dressed high-end for your camping.

I say hey let's go camping, he shows up in a tuxedo that doesn't happen all the time.

I wouldn't go camping with anybody else.

[laughter]

Normally at night, when he goes out at night he has a cape and fangs.

[hearty laughter]

When you hang upside down, does that wrinkle?

[hearty laughter]

It helps the heart medication work better.

That's weird. That would be funny. Dracula on heart medication.

How does that work?

[laughter]

Ah, I want to drink your blood but hold on,

let me give you a cholesterol test first. I don't want to drink fatties.

[laughter]

Let me change the battery in my pacemaker.

[laughter]

Oh my God.

Yuck it up guys, yuck it up.

You know we love you pal.

Of course, you're like our other brother that we never had from another mother.

Yes.

[slapping sound]

You're not getting bitten up?

No man, I think it's in your head.

No man, it's getting very itchy, very itchy.

It's February, dude, what is biting you, snowflakes?

I don't know. I feel it. I know it.

You know what it is? I think you imagine bugs because

when we go camping it's usually NOT February

and we're near something like, you know, June, July and there are bugs.

So this is my imagination?

I didn't say it was your imagination, you did.

[slapping sound]

So are you guys up to making some s'mores?

I'll eat the ingredients of s'mores. I always find making s'mores a waste of time.

Like every individual part of a s'more is awesome

but then you've got to put it all together, stick it on a stick or some sort of,

you know,

skewer and then put it over fire. And then you got to be the expert

to figure out the absolute melting point of marshmallow

before it falls into the stupid fire thing.

But if you got chocolate and marshmallows and graham crackers

I'm all for eating, just having that.

He's right, that is a lot of work for a snack. Isn't it?

And eventually it becomes like a mission abort

because there it goes, it's gone.

And what a waste of good marshmallow, graham cracker and...

you alright?

I'm getting eaten alive out here, man, come on.

By what?

I mean, you guys... this guy's getting eaten alive.

You're the buzzkill on s'mores.

What happened to you guys? I'm not the buzzkill on s'mores, man.

It's just that we gotta be like all of a

sudden I gotta concentrate on the melting point of marshmallow. Do you

remember when we went to that Van Halen concert

and we tailgated? You ate like 40 s'mores that day.

I was drinking.

Oh gosh, come on, come on! Come on! Gosh!

Okay, I'm not sleeping next to him if he's gonna be like this.

Oh, come on, really?

No, really.

He's gonna be like that in the tent. I'm not going in, look,

I mean, come on, that's a three person, four person tent and he's gonna be like

meh, meh, meh, me, uh.

You wanna pack up, go home and watch the game?

At least I got in a couple hours with you guys out here.

It's either that or it's gonna look like we're camping with someone who's being tased every five seconds. Bzz

All right, we'll go right after I finish this beer.

Alright, bro.

Why don't you start taking down the tent?

Uh, how did I get stuck doing it.

[laughing] I can get you anything. I love it.

UGH!

You guys dragged me home from the COOLEST camping trip ever to watch the Knights lose again?

The coolest as in temperature, yeah.

Coolest as in fun? NOOO!

And it's not like I manage the Knights, dude.

Dude you are such a hick. It's not manage in basketball, it's coach.

Okay, whatever, coach-ing.

The coach didn't take the time outs like you're supposed to, so you can have time

to try to catch up in the game. They're never gonna make the playoffs playing like this.

We definitely need a new head coach.

Oh man.

We need a whole lot of new things.

What's this world coming to?

What do you mean?

I don't know, man, you know,

I was driving past the diner the other day and

you know, what was it, Eleanor Schmitt and Diana Davis?

Oh, shit, those two were super hot.

They sure are.

Yes, agreed, they're both super hot.

Anyway, my point is I drove by them and I

decided to you know honk say, "Hey."

You know, pretty innocent enough, right?

Yeah, you would think.

So I look in the rearview mirror to check out what their

reaction was, and I see the two of them huddled up and giggling,

like my gesture was meant like something more nefarious than what it was.

It's like we never left high school, dude.

I know man.

You know what, it reminds me of that time

when me and Jeff were in a nightclub in Atlantic City. Ever tell you about that?

No, lay it on me.

So me and Jeff were at this nightclub in Atlantic City and apparently there's

some sort of, I don't know, comic-con or something in town when these two guys

from some, I don't know, cult movie walk in

and all these Millennials

are all freaking out and they want to take photos with them.

So they all break out

their phones and they all go up to them and "Hey can we have a photo"

and they're all really cool.

The two guys took photos, couldn't be anymore, you know, generous with their time,

and very polite and took photos.

I think one even recorded a voicemail for them. Anyway.

So then, I notice that all the kids are

all taking them out and they're going right to the phones, right in it and they're just not

even looking at each other. There is like about a hundred of them,

hanging around

and not anybody is interacting, in a club.

I don't know, man, they're all like

hashtag this and retweet that.

It's crazy. Social media, it's the scourge of the youth.

You got that right.

Hey, you want anything from the fridge?

No, I'm good.

What about you?

I'm good brother.

[tapping on the counter]

HEY, we're all out of beer!

We drank it all at the campground.

Oh man.

I knew we should've went to the Quick Stop.

Hey, man,

why are you so, I don't know, quiet?

Believe it or not, I miss the girls.

You are such a sap.

Did I tell you that Boo is on National Honor Society again?

Yes, you did. Like, I don't know, 97 times.

I get it, okay? She's a genius. She's gonna be President.

Screw social media, right?

Yeah.

Are you really going up to the cabin tomorrow?

You know how many times in February am I gonna get the chance to take a ride up

to the cabin. Of course, I am, dude.

Why don't you take a ride with me?

No no no, I can't.

I have a trade show I got to get to in Pittsburgh tomorrow.

Ah bummer.

Screw those hipster coffee shops, too, right?

Yeah.

What a sad society we live in today, huh?

What is with those hipster beards?

You know, you have a beard.

Craft beers, micro breweries everywhere.

I like craft beer.

I've had it.

[the sound of footsteps]

[bird chirping]

[door closing]

[ambient music begins]

[ballad begins to play: "This Place Called Home" by Jule Carey]

Damn it.

What now?

How you doing there, sir?

Hey, what's going on officer?

The road's washed out down there.

Oh, damn it. Do you have any idea when it's gonna reopen?

They say it's gonna be about a week.

A week? Ugh.

Well, I'm trying to get up to Lumberton.

Do you have any idea how I can get there if I can't take this road?

Alright, so what you want to do is turn your car around go to Mountain Road.

Mountain Road? Isn't that like 50 miles out of the way?

57 actually.

Oh great. I'm running low on gas already.

What're you going up there to do some fishing?

No, I have a little cabin up there on the lake and I

got my hiking boots on so I'm thinking I'm just gonna take a nice hike.

Alright sir, you be safe.

Thank you, officer.

[ambient music begins]

Oh, come on. No no no no no. You can't run out of gas out here.

Come on. Oh. Geez. Oh.

Not in the middle of nowhere.

Oh.

Aaaahhhh. Oh

Why me?

No signal.

It is dark out here.

Should I start walking?

Nah, I'll sleep in the car.

Hopefully somebody will come by...

after midnight...

Getting chilly.

Come on, Jeff, you know Mountain Road doesn't have any signal.

Should I put my hazards on?

No, that'll only kill the battery.

Nobody's gonna pass on this road past midnight anyway.

Driving all day, I should just go to sleep.

[yawns]

I'll start hoofing it in the morning. It's getting chilly.

I'll put this light out.

[ambient music plays]

What the fuck?

[sounds of wind, snow and ice pellets. dramatic music plays]

It snowed??

It was like,

sixty degrees yesterday.

Oh, fuck.

God is it cold.

What do I have in the trunk?

[foreboding music begins]

Oh, yeah. I think I have a jacket

from when I went to

Hershey that time.

I think I have a jacket.

I gotta check.

There's gotta be four feet of snow out there

and it's still coming down.

Oh, got myself into a good one this time.

[fierce wind blowing and whistling. Foreboding music plays louder]

[groans of exertion]

Thank goodness. Thank goodness I have a coat. Thank goodness I have a coat. I have a coat.

[zipper zipping]

What else do I have?

I have gloves. I have gloves. I have gloves.

Thank goodness I have gloves. Gloves.

Oh and a blanket. A blanket. A blanket.

What's this?

A pillow.

[trunk closing]

[door closing]

Woah. Woah.

What the hell?

It went from, it went from 60 to a blizzard!

There's gotta be...

there's gotta be three feet out there.

Whoa!

Oh, that's brutal!

Thank God I packed some granola.

All this snow reminds me of Christmas time.

God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay.

Remember Christ our Savior

was born on Christmas Day

to save us all from Satan's power when we had gone astray.

O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy. O tidings of comfort and joy.

I think I'm starting to lose my mind.

Well, I'll never give Bing Crosby a run for his money, that's for sure.

I really would like to see my family again for Christmas.

I gotta get out of here.

[wind, snow and ice. Foreboding music plays]

[howling wind]

I gotta get back to the car.

[menacing music plays]

I'm not a praying man or a religious man

but... I'm at my wit's end.

Show me the way.

Show me the way to get out of here.

I gotta get home to my family.

It's so cold.

I just wanna get home.

I gotta get home.

Oh. Okay. I'm starving

and I think hypothermia is starting to set in

but it's almost nightfall

and I will,

I will, I will leave first thing tomorrow morning

and try to get

try to get to Lumberton.

It's only, it's only 22 miles away, I think.

Only 22 miles away.

[wind blowing. ambient music playing]

Getting a little peckish.

Prime rib, mashed potatoes, gravy

No, it's granola.

I'm so hungry.

Shut up stomach!

Ah, my aunt Ida's rice pudding.

Best rice pudding in the whole damn country.

Mmm, I love rice pudding.

This rice pudding really tastes like granola, though.

God's gonna have answered my prayers

and I'm going to turn the key

and the car's gonna start.

Uh...

I guess He's not.

[rock music starts playing "Dear Diane" by Jule Carey]

[laughing]

I'll be listening to this song on the lake this summer

with my beautiful wife and my beautiful daughter

having cookies and eating sandwiches.

Please battery don't die.

I think I'm okay with,

with just

the interior light on and the radio.

I can't imagine

that it's going to die so quickly.

Woo! It's cold.

I like this song.

Play it boy, play it!

[dreamy music plays]

Hey, Jess, you see anything cool up in those clouds?

Not really.

I think I kind of see a teddy bear over there.

You know, the day you were born,

it was an amazing day.

Mommy and I had tickets to go see a concert that night.

But she woke up that morning and she was not feeling well at all.

She was all swollen.

Her wrists,

her ankles, they were all like twice the size what they usually are.

And her blood pressure was through the roof.

So with Mommy being pregnant with you and all, we kind of got nervous

and I took her over to a doctor in Middletown.

When we got to the doctor, the doctor said Mommy was in big trouble

and they rushed Mommy by ambulance all the way upstate to a hospital up there

that was much more equipped to deal with you know what she was dealing with.

And boy, everybody was in a panic.

Grandma and Grandpa rushed up there.

Uncle Tom rushed up there.

Even Steve rushed up there.

Everybody was so, so worried about you.

We were standing outside mommy's room while the doctors were looking at her

and a nurse rushed out to me

and handed me like a surgical garb, like a gown

and dragged me to the sink to scrub my hands.

And the next thing you know, I was in the operating room. I felt like a doctor. It was amazing.

And I was holding Mommy's hands

and I remember just like yesterday,

everybody was in a complete and total panic

but I had a total sense of calm.

I kind of knew everything was gonna, everything was going to work out alright.

And now we're sitting up here the lake house

and I grow more proud of you each day.

Beautiful, smart young lady you're turning into.

You know Jess,

I love you very much.

Then why are you leaving me Dad?

What??

Thank you for the sun.

If I cut through the woods,

possibly 17 is cleared. 17's a, 17's a pretty major road.

And if I cut through the woods, it's only about 12 miles.

Seventeen,

that's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna cut right through the woods.

It's time to get out of here.

[soft somber music begins]

[ambient music plays]

Is this thing on?

I wanted to show you something really cool.

I climbed a little bit more than half way up this hill in this little valley.

I found this fireplace. It looks like it's got to be from the early 1800s.

Take a look take a look how cool this is Boo.

This is a mantle.

I gotta put my gloves back on but I wanted to show you this.

How cool is this thing, Boo?

It's gotta be, it's gotta be 200 years old, easy.

OK, let me bundle back up.

I've been hoofing it now for a bit

and I hope that very shortly I will

come across something I recognize or a road

or even a house anything

would be awesome, but

it's been an interesting journey.

I wanted to tell you

a little story about something I saw a little bit down the road but

[screams] WOAH!

[breathing heavy]

[foreboding music plays]

My knee. My knee. My knee.

Oh my knee! Oh my knee! Oh my knee!

Oh, God.

Body check!

Everything seems to be here. Woo.

Next time, hide their presents in the attic.

Thank God I found you.

Thank God I found you.

I took a little tumble,

[blows on phone]

down a hill.

[breathing heavy]

My knee's killing me,

but I think I'll be okay.

Let me put this thing off.

[wind blowing]

Hey, guys.

I thought after a day of hoofing it,

I would have found 17 or

a country road or something,

but no I haven't found anything.

I don't know if I got myself lost or something but

I'm very, very, very tired

and I'm

I'm gonna doze off here for the night

and start, start up again in the morning.

I don't know, maybe I should've stayed in the car

but

four feet of snow on Mountain Road

I just thought it would be days and days and days before somebody came by,

somebody came by or plowed that road but now I don't know if I

if I should have

if I should have stayed in the car.

It stopped snowing

but it is crazy cold.

I tried using

the phone all day

but I've sadly had no signal.

I'm sure, Boo,

you and I'll be sitting back watching this video

and you'll be calling me all kinds of

dopey names

telling me how I did things wrong

but

nobody's perfect.

Just need somebody to talk to.

Getting starving,

and

snow

doesn't taste all that good

but at least I'm not thirsty.

I love you two.

I hope that I'll be home soon.

Well, at least I made it to the state park

if I'm not lost.

[faintly singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"]

[ambient music playing]

[sound of the waterfall]

Only I could find a building

in the middle of the woods

that has no roof.

What the hell is this thing?

I need to rest.

Why am I talking to myself?

Because there's no one else here, jackass.

Hey guys,

I've been, I've been walking now for two days straight

and I have every intention of getting home to you two.

And I love you both very much.

I've been trying the whole way

ever since I got stuck on Mountain Road

to use this phone to get signal, to call you or call for help

but there's no signal up here.

When we went to the Lumberton Fair this summer,

Boo, do remember that that

panda hat that you fell in love with?

Well, when you and mommy went and got those gravy fries,

I said I was going out to the john to use the, use the port-o-potty.

I went to that vendor and I bought you that panda hat.

And, honey,

remember that fleece that you saw?

I snuck away I bought that for you, too

and I hid it up at the lake house.

And I was gonna give these things to you guys

for Valentine's Day

so

I was heading up to the lake house to pick them up

to give them to you

when you return.

I love you both very much

and God forbid something should happen to me

I'm trying real hard to get home to you

but I didn't know there was going to be a blizzard.

But if I don't get home to you

I love you both very, very, very much.

And Boo, I'm so proud of everything you've done,

everything you've achieved.

Honey, you've made me the happiest man, the happiest man alive.

This phone wasn't very good for making calls

but it's really good for me to tell you how much I love you.

It's starting to become nightfall.

I found a very small, little building

and I think

I'm gonna sleep right next to it in case it starts to snow again

I'll have some kind of cover

and I'll start walking again in the morning.

I'm just so exhausted.

I love you guys.

I hope to see you both soon.

[wind howling]

Hello, it's me again.

It's middle of the night.

I just, I keep hearing something.

What the hell is that?

[horrific growling noise]

[running footsteps in the snow]

[slightly slower footsteps in the snow]

I need to find my way home today.

I can do this.

[foreboding music]

Oh, God.

Dad [echoing]

Daddy [echoing]

I love you, Daddy. [echoing]

I love you, too.

You got this. [echoing]

[whispers] OK

[emotional music begins]

[emotional music intensifies]

[faint engine sound in the distance]

[music plays: Vivaldi's "Winter"]

Thank you!

[music plays: Tchaikovsky's "Swan Lake (Swan Theme)"]