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- You're sure you've got everything?

You've packed your books, towels, toiletries?

- I think so.

- It might get cold soon,

so I put a warm winter coat on your bed.

Did you pack it?

- It was on my bed?

- Well if not, I suppose you can always come home

one weekend and get it.

Or I can drop it off, I don't mind.

Don't forget we're just around

the corner so it's not a problem for us.

You can come to us here.

We can visit you at the school, take you out for lunch.

It's the exeat weekend soon, isn't it?

We love you very much, Shelby.

Your father and me.

I hope you know that.

- Hi, sorry to intrude Mrs. Welham

but is this all to go?

- Whatever's by the stairs, thank you, James.

- Right-O.

- Important year, this one.

You've got your A-Levels, adulthood.

Although don't you start thinking once you're 18

you're out of our jurisdiction, mister.

I hope you know, Shelby, that we're ever

so sorry about what happened.

Truly, we are.

Of course we are.

But equally we feel now the time has come

for you to move on.

Time to pull up your socks and face the world head on.

There's no point living in the past,

singing with the ravens.

Not when you're fortunate enough

to have a future so bright.

Your father and I are very proud of you, Shelby.

We love you very much.

- I love you too, Mom.

- Shelby?

- Mom, I haven't even read it yet.

- Whether you've read it or not

it's hardly a very nice reminder to keep about your person.

I don't think it's healthy

to have something so macabre and sad

and to keep it so close by.

I fear it will inspire a morbid obsession in you, Shelby.

You were always oddly fascinated with death,

even as a boy.

More so than the other children.

I remember once you brought home this book.

- It was one book on the Holocaust in year five.

Mom, we were studying World War II.

I was just interested.

- I know, I know, Shelby

but I don't think it's very smart.

- Really, Mom.

You want to have this conversation now?

- It's just like riding a bicycle, Shelby.

You'll see.

Soon it will almost be as if you'd never left.

- Yeah, you like that?

- Stop talking.

- No pants, you naughty girl.

- I said stop talking.

- Are you ready, babe?

Babe?

Babe?

Babe, where are the condoms?

- Moses, no, stop!

It's the middle of the day.

We're about to go Lilibet's welcoming mass.

We can't do this.

- I thought you wanted me to stop talking.

- Someone might walk in.

We're being far too bit about all this.

You're not even allowed to be in here, Moses.

If a teacher were to even see us kiss

we could get suspended.

- Here we go again.

- What?

- Every time we try to have sex

you find something, some way to stop us, every time.

It's like you don't even like me, or something, Margot.

- Well, of course I do.

Of course I do.

- How come we've had to keep it a secret?

- What?

Moses, if a teacher were to find out.

- I'm not talking about school, us.

How come we've had to keep

the fact we're together a secret?

- It's not you.

It's not you, it's me.

I'm not ready yet.

- What, for our friends to know we're together?

- I want it to be special.

I want what we have, our first time together,

to be special.

- Champagne and roses don't make something special, Margot.

- A couple more weeks, that's all I'm asking.

I just need to sort out some things for myself.

- You know you can tell me anything.

Right?

- It is with great honour and thanks

that I find myself prized with the coveted position

of welcoming back returning students

to what hopes to be yet another successful school year.

As well as having the pleasure

of introducing new students and faculty alike

into our loving and supportive community.

I hope you find great happiness here

making lasting friendships and creating bountiful memories

just as I have during my time

at this truly remarkable school.

Broadbridge Abbey is not only

an outstanding institution at which

to receive a stellar education

but a sanctuary for the nourishment

of creative minds and safe haven

for like minded souls to learn, enrich,

and practise their Roman Catholic faith.

Therefore, as your head girl for the upcoming school year,

I ask that potential shall not go amiss.

There are three redline offences here at Broadbridge Abbey

which when disobeyed result in immediate expulsion.

No matter the offender, how valued the student,

or how noted said student is to have participated in

and or contributed towards the school programme.

I must warn each and every one of you

that there is no place here for theft, bullying,

or substance abuse within the Broadbridge Abbey community.

The consequence is severe and nonnegotiable.

Last year, our community suffered a devastating loss

just days after we broke up for the Christmas holidays.

The tragedy occurred at a time when our loved ones

are of our top priority.

Hephzibah Locke was a beautiful and kind young lady

with a million passions and even more talents.

One only had to speak to her to understand

the love she held for everyone and everything.

The things she wished to achieve and now never will.

If Eppy was still here today, healthy and happy and well

I have no doubt in my mind that she would stand

where I now stand.

And instead of myself she would be the one upon

this pulpit welcoming you all back.

Count your blessings.

Find things to be thankful for.

Things you might have otherwise overlooked.

Your families perhaps.

What you did over the summer break.

Together we can make this year one to remember.

If you are willing to put yourself out there.

If you are willing to put in the time and effort

then there is no limit to the enrichment

and happiness that you can achieve here

at Broadbridge Abbey.

Seek and you will find.

Ask and you may be given.

In the name of the father, the son,

and the Holy Spirit, amen.

- What about summer, what'd you do?

- Uh, you know.

I'd rather not talk about it.

- Hey guys.

- Hey, there she is.

- Hi.

- I was so, so nervous.

- I could see your hands shaking.

You know when you were holding your paper

you were kind of like this.

And I thought you were gonna throw up

from your face, honestly.

- One second.

Shelby?

Shelby Welham.

Hi, hello.

- Hi.

- Oh my goodness, hi.

Hi, how are you?

How is everything?

Are you good?

I've missed you, Shelb.

- It's, it's hard.

It's hard being back, really.

- Well, it's so nice to see you, Shelb.

Honestly, it's so nice to see you.

- How have you been?

- Me? Oh, same old.

Same old stuff.

I've been boring, actually.

- Oh yeah?

- But how are you?

You know, how is everything?

How have you been?

- Better.

- You look better.

And now you're back.

I couldn't be happier, Shelb.

Honestly, I couldn't be happier to see you.

Do you wanna go outside and get some fresh air?

- Are head girls allowed to smoke?

What?

- Nothing.

- What are you doing?

- I'm not doing anything.

- Lilibet. - What?

- Okay.

Stop it!

- Stop what?

- Nothing.

- Okay.

- Woo!

- Oh my god.

- Yeah!

- You cheater, you stopped before--

- Calm down, calm down.

- I'm the king of the woods!

Oh come, on.

- Wow.

- You did so well.

- Hi guys, hi.

- I can't believe you just, like, emptied half of that beer.

- Lilibet!

- You've had too much to fucking drink.

- Where's Charles going?

Charles!

- I'm just going for a piss!

Ariel.

- Charles.

- How are we?

- Fine.

- First week back is always a shock to the system.

- You?

- Good.

I'm good.

Better if you got what I asked for.

- Depends.

- On?

- What you brought me.

- Reckon this might be worth it's weight.

- Got it.

Pleasure doing business with you, Charles.

- Why'd you even want that, anyway?

- Why does anybody want a naked photo of somebody else?

- What?

Oh fuck.

That's fucking disgusting, Ariel.

That's fucking vile.

- You took the photo.

- Yeah, but I didn't realise it was for that.

Give it the fuck back, Ariel.

- A deal's a deal Charles.

- I think you misheard me, faggot.

I said, give it the fuck back.

- Or what?

- I'll beat you to a living pulp,

you little shit, that's what.

- Rich coming from someone who's about

to get down and dirty with a certain Mr. Charlie.

You know what, come to think of it, Charles,

your love for cocaine is weirdly narcicisstic.

- Fuck off, Ariel.

You little pervert.

- Gets voted king of the woods

and thinks he runs the place.

- I do run the place.

- How'd you even get this photo, anyway?

- It wasn't hard.

When Moose is in front of people

he always struts around naked.

- It's not hard, but it certainly is big.

- You're such a dirty little faggot.

- Fuck off, Charles.

You're just scared you'd get a hard-on

if I ever came unto you.

- You know, even if you are a living pulp

you can still get me coke.

Watch it, little mermaid.

- Tell Roisin I've got her stuff too, would you?

- Roisin made an order?

- Yeah, why wouldn't she?

- Roisin Joyce?

- What's your point?

- She told me she wasn't doing drugs

at school anymore.

- Well I guess she changed her mind, didn't she.

- Yeah, I guess she did, didn't she.

You better not show that photo to anyone, faggot.

- It'll be our little secret.

- Mm, then he asked if I would gag for him.

Between you and me, I swear on my life.

I have no idea what all the other girls

have been saying because he's quite literally

the smallest I've ever seen.

Let alone sucked.

I'm comparing it to a cocktail sausage.

Baffling, really.

And then he asked if he would call him daddy.

- No!

- I know!

- Oh my god.

- Roisin, a word?

- Looks like I'm now in for a spanking.

See you guys later.

- Bye.

- Bye!

- Bye!

- I cannot wait to roast Charles about all of this.

- Oh Moose, you can't, that's mean.

- Yeah, but it's Charles, he would.

- To be fair Lilibet, it is Charles.

It's hardly as if he's going to care.

- I suppose.

- I'm gonna go for a whiz.

Do you guys want anything?

- Trip to the loo?

Not particularly, Moses, no.

- Don't say I didn't ask.

- How was Shelby?

- Good, actually.

You know, he's still sad, obviously.

But I think he's starting to get everything under control.

- He didn't want to come tonight?

- I did invite him.

But he said he had some reading or something to catch up on.

- You think he'd be over it by now.

- Well, it'll happen when he's ready.

Apparently he's really distanced himself

from Claire and Tippy and that lot over summer.

- Oh really?

Moses and I were literally talking

to that group the other day.

I mean, I say the other day, I'm talking about last term.

But they really are quite weird.

I mean, we were even saying that now that Eppy's gone

Shelby could probably fit in with us.

- Now that Eppy's gone?

- Lilibet, you know I didn't mean it like that.

- You've been speaking on behalf of Moses

an awful lot lately.

Any particular reason, or?

- I swear to god, that boy is a psycho.

- Roisin can I be?

- Help yourself.

- What's he done now?

- He literally just had a go at me

for ordering stuff through Ariel.

As if he can talk.

- Roisin.

- What? Don't you start too.

I'll take that straight back.

- What do you even order from him, anyway?

God, I wouldn't trust anything he gave me.

Not even water.

Who knows what the boy puts in it.

- It's just a bit of weed.

- Roisin, just be careful, okay?

They were saying in my monitor meeting

that they're really gonna clamp down on drugs this year.

- What the bloody fuck are they gonna do?

It's already expel worthy.

What, bring sniffer dogs in?

- It's hardly like I'm snorting coke down the swan

like Charles is.

I swear to god that boy snorts coke

like a fucking pig hunts for truffles.

And yet he has a go at me.

- Maybe he just cares for you.

- He doesn't have the right, we're over.

- That's not funny, Charles!

- Three more beers and mark me,

you watch him make a move.

- Who?

Moose?

- No, I'm talking about Charles making a move on Roisin.

What are you on about?

- Nothing, sorry.

- Moose?

Is Moose a thing that's happening, what?

- It's nothing.

- Moose, really, with you?

- No, we're not a thing, it's nothing.

- Okay.

- Lilibet's just being a prick.

- I was just saying, as you were coming over,

that you and Moose seem awful close lately

and I was just wondering if-

- But you were wrong.

Nothing's happening, absolutely nothing!

Lilibet's just being a prick.

- Rather defensive.

- Well he's obsessed with you, you know?

- What, no he's not.

- Of course he is.

Every time we get drunk together he practically shouts it.

- Does he now?

- He's probably taking a piss, that's all.

- Well, it would make sense.

- What would?

- All the times you met up in the summer.

Just the two of you.

- All the FaceTime's.

- We're just friends!

- With benefits.

- Don't either of you know me at all?

I'd never go there with Moses, never!

- Okay.

- I wouldn't touch the boy with a 10 foot pole.

I have standards, you know.

Principles.

- Oh but you'd be so cute together.

- He's a good lad, me thinks.

- In a friend sort of way, I'm sure.

- But as a lover?

- Moose is just a boy, okay.

I like my men a bit older.

You know, more mature.

You should know that, Roisin.

- Men, what like your brother's friends from uni?

- Lilibet, shut up.

Also, you are one to talk.

- Oh no, I completely forgot about that.

- I suppose you wouldn't mind if I go for him, then.

- What?

- What, what?

- Roisin.

- Honestly, Margot says she doesn't like him.

So surely, she wouldn't mind if I went for him then.

No point in letting the captain

of the rugby team go to waste.

- Who am I to stop you beasts from laying with one another?

- Guess who finally beat the king?

- Oh, congrats, Moose.

I'm so proud of you.

- Three more beers.

- Come on baby, come here.

- What?

- Don't be a bitch, come on.

For old time's sake, come on Roisin.

Just one kiss for me, baby.

- Oh Charles, you're fucked, come on.

- Just tipsy.

Just tipsy.

That's the funny thing.

That's why it's so funny.

Come on, Roisin, just one kiss for me, baby.

Just tonight.

- Oh my god, no!

- Roisin! - Fuck off!

- Good luck getting him back into house

without getting caught.

- Oh fuck.

- Chuckernot. - Chuckernot.

- Chuckernot.

- You really expect me to bagsy, seriously?

- Rules are rules, Margot.

- No.

If you expect me to look after him

he'll be sleeping outside.

- Margot, he's drunk. - And?

I'm not risking a suspension over his drunken ass.

Fucking ridiculous.

- Fuck.

That's it, buddy, get it all out.

- I genuinely passed out, really.

- Only for a second, mate, don't worry about it.

- Pathetic.

- You were proper embarrassing with Roisin, though.

- I remember that bit, thanks.

- The girls only got worried because

it started to seem like you were getting

a bit out of hand.

Still, didn't get caught, did we?

So no harm done. - Fair.

- You're actually such a bender.

- Well I can hardly sneak out for a ciggy right now, can I?

Plus it's Mad Mulholland on duty.

You've got balls just being in here.

- Kinda tipsy.

- Hey, hey, hey.

We'll sort your bender.

- Like you said, can hardly go for a cig right now, can I?

Come on Charles, share it around.

- Like I shared my crisps?

- Who managed to get you back into house

slightly unbreath-a-lyzed, hm?

This kid.

Pass it over.

Chander boy.

Don't wanna get your chander breath.

- You know what game we haven't played in ages?

Fuck, marry, kill.

- Okay, fuck, marry, kill.

Roisin, Percy Gladstone, and Margot.

- Seriously?

- Yeah, why not?

- All right, kill Margot then.

- What, why?

- She's a bit skinny.

- Oh, for god's sake.

- I'm kidding.

But that whole rich bitch thing

she has going on really pisses me the fuck off sometimes.

- What the fuck, Charles.

You do that too.

All your watches, the family cars on Thru Vine.

- Explains why you want to fuck her so much.

- Oh, just keep playing, will you?

- Fine, but for the record there's

a difference between being blue blooded

and nouveau riche.

Kill Margot, shag Percy, marry Ros.

- You're marrying Roisin?

- That's what I said.

- I thought you hated her?

- I do.

- Yet you're marrying her.

- I guess. - What?

- Well everyone hates

the person they're married to, don't they?

My parents do.

- I guess.

- There you go, then.

Fuck, marry, kill same for you, go.

- Marry Margot, obviously.

- What if it was a chaste marriage?

- What the fuck's a chaste marriage?

- You're married but there's no sex.

- We wouldn't have one of those.

- But what if you did?

- No marriage is a chaste.

You're meant to have sex after you get married.

That's the point of marriage, dickhead.

Do you even go to a catholic school?

- Fine.

- Fuck Percy, marry Margot, kill Roisin.

I mean, I love to be around her

but she's just so full of herself.

- And Margot isn't?

- I'm not a huge fan of her fashion sense,

either, to be honest.

- They can't all be wearing Italian designers, Moose.

- I'm not saying they have to, but does she really need

to dress as though she found herself

in Cambodia or some shit.

- What?

- She dresses as if she's been on a gap year

for the past decade.

- Better than being a B-type Kate Moss.

How's Margot going, anyway?

- What?

- You've been crafting her for years now, Moose.

Even blind old Father Bead could see.

How's it going?

- Yeah, it's okay, I guess.

- What does that mean?

- I mean it's going fine.

- You've so fucking shagged her, haven't you?

Haven't you?

You sly dog.

You've so been giving her a good old boning, haven't you?

Kept that on the down low, didn't you?

- No, I haven't.

We haven't shagged, Charles.

- What have you done then?

- Nothing.

We haven't done anything.

Margot doesn't like me like that.

She doesn't like me in that way.

- Bullshit, tell me.

- Tell you what?

- What's going on with you and Margot?

- There's nothing to tell.

- If I were you I'd be in Margot's room right now

begging for a shag.

- Even with Mad Mulholland on duty?

- Even with him.

- You realise she never gave you back, right?

- Doubt it.

- Charles, she said you looked like a rat.

- Girls love a bit of grime.

- Were you dropped on your head as a child?

- You know, I bet I can get her before you do.

- Charles.

- You just said it yourself.

Nothing's happening between you two.

So if nothing's happening you wouldn't mind

if I go for her.

- I don't think that's how it works.

- I bet I can sleep with her before you do.

- What?

- I bet I can sleep with Margot before you can.

- Well no, you fucking can't.

- I bet you I will.

- No you won't.

- You're just saying that because you know I'm right.

- That's not true though, is it?

- Really? Than bet me.

If it's not true, there's no harm done.

You get the girl, I'm not sad, everything's golden.

If it is true, I get to have sex

and she clearly never really liked you very much anyway.

So to be honest, I've saved you from wasting all the time.

- Charles, I'm not betting you.

- Pussy.

- I'm not a pussy, I'm just not a dickhead like you.

- Retard.

- Oh, fuck a vape, you're gay as shit.

- Really?

It's the 21st century

and you're still gonna use gay as an insult?

- You literally just called me a retard.

Plus you call Ariel faggot all the time.

- That's because you are a retard.

And Ariel is a faggot.

It's not offensive if it's true.

- Yeah, well vaping's social suicide, so.

- You're toking from it right now.

- It's not the same though, is it?

- Why not?

- Because I didn't fucking buy one, did I?

- Maybe you should.

If it's a good alternative.

It's cleaner, less expensive.

- Oh piss off. - It's true.

- Charles, you literally smoke.

- You're just touchy because you're mad

that Margot's gonna go for me over you.

- That's not fucking true though, is it?

- Then bet me.

- Fine, I fucking bet you, all right?

- What are you betting?

- That I can get Margot.

- Before I do?

- No, not before you do

because that implies you'll have her afterwards,

which you won't.

- You're right.

I'll have her before.

- I fucking bet you won't.

- Was that so hard?

- You're a fucking moron, Charles.

- So this is really yours, Eppy?

September 5th, I always tried

to be sophisticated in my writing.

Romantic, even.

Perhaps not to extend of Mary Shelley

and her tireless parents.

- But there's nothing wrong

with being adequately impassioned.

Euphemistic.

However, today my writing fails me.

I can find no means of effectively,

nor pleasantly describing the upset I beheld

this morning when Margot Portendorfer slut shamed me

in front of the entire class.

- That would be amazing, you'd suit it so well.

- Oh look, it's the ginger bread girls.

- Watch this.

- Oh god.

- You'll have such a good time there.

- Do you think? - Yes.

- Eppy!

I would ask you how your summer was

but it seems the whole school already knows.

A bit toothy, aren't we?

I'm sure he didn't mind, though.

Boys love a girl who puts out.

Oh, and Tippy, I love the jacket.

I had one just like it back in primary.

- Apparently she heard of how I lost my virginity

and deemed it immoral.

The irony of which being I didn't disagree.

I fell in love with a boy who just wanted

to use my body and move on.

I just noticed, I instinctively called it love

despite knowing full well that it wasn't.

But at the time, my heart and mind played me for a fool.

So besotted was I with the very idea

of male attention, foreign as it was,

that I was completely obsequious at every lust and whim

for fear of losing what I never really had

in the first place.

To be desired was, and I suppose still is,

a highly unusual sensation to me.

I'm reminded of the time in which Shelby

invited me to the Valentine's ball.

- Eppy that's different.

- The one which he cancelled last minute.

- Something had came up, I swear.

Eppy, it's not the same.

- Was so hurt and confused.

- Eppy.

- But I digress.

Margot Portendorfer slut shamed me.

Margot, of all people!

I'm not one to pit woman against woman

but one boy, one foolish night does not quite

equate to her frivolous experience.

Or so the rumours go.

Heavens, I remember hearing stories

about her and boys back in first year.

So how dare she slander me in front of my friends.

That fateful night with Charles Lane Fox

is one I wish I could forget.

A skeleton I could lock away in my closet.

Not one of the many summer scandals

to be discussed so commonly back at school.

Shelby of all has been very good to me today.

Chocolate and tea he said, can fix any upset.

Needless to say his soothing words

and surplus supply of dairy milk seemed

to have done the trick.

Where would I be without him?

- Yes, that's fine.

I will call him after.

Yep, Mommy I'll call you back.

Yes, I promise I will.

Oi, princess, did you see where Ros just went?

- He's gone.

- Ariel?

- Charles, I told him you had a phone call.

Wanted to have a chat with you.

- Thank god for that.

I really owe you one.

- Trouble in paradise?

- Not sure anything involving Charles

can be considered paradise.

- You can say that again.

- What's he done to you?

- He just always seems so mad

that my sexual appetite is gonna be bigger than his.

- Men and their sizes.

I always forget you're gay.

- Bi, that's why, you know, it's bigger than his.

Otherwise it would just be equal

and he'd have nothing to be mad about.

You know what, nevermind.

- I don't mean to sound like a bitch, Ariel

but have you ever thought that maybe

your sexuality doesn't have to you know, like, define you.

It could be just because you ram it down

everyone's throats all the time.

Oh, before I forget.

You don't happen to have my delivery on you, do you?

Guess now's as good a time as any to pick it up.

- I might.

You already transferred me, didn't you?

- Yeah, last Sunday, I think.

- Let me just check.

- Ariel?

- Mm-hm?

- What's that?

- What's what?

- Moses Montague, you absolute beauty!

I'm telling you, cover this one in baby oil

and you'd have yourself the world's

sexiest slip and slide.

- Roisin, it's not what it looks like.

- You're telling me this isn't a Greek god?

You know, I don't blame you for wanting this.

I'd try and hop on it myself now.

I was only joking before but--

- Charles gave it to me as payment.

- For his powdered sugar addiction?

Yeah, I figured.

Moses doesn't know about it?

- No, and you can't tell him either.

Please, Roisin.

- What's in it for me?

- Okay, you ready?

You're gonna feel so good afterwards.

Trust me, trust me.

Lilibet, aim.

- Okay, okay.

You ready? - Mm-hm.

Okay, go again.

- No, I don't wanna do it.

You do it.

Come on, show me how it's done.

- A pro, a pro at work.

Stand back.

Okay.

- What was that?

- Awful.

- That was awful.

- I'm gonna go get it.

Okay, undo what we begin with.

You can do this.

More aggression, more in the shoulder.

Aim down, come on.

It's only a bowl, Lilibet.

It's only a bowl!

- Okay.

I can't.

- Smash the bowl!

No!

Why, why a rock?

Lily, go, go!

- I'm going!

- Smash the bowl!

- We need to go, we need to go.

- Stop, stop, Lilibet, stop.

I can't breathe.

- I knew it would smash, it had to smash.

- You just looked so disappointed when it hit the ground.

- Because it didn't smash, Shelby.

- Oh, is that why went full on cave woman

going at it with a rock?

- Obviously, I'm not that weird.

- Lilibet, I'm actually crying, look.

Look, this, this is an absolute tear.

- Well I'm glad you were amused.

- Oh god.

- Did it work?

- Yes, it certainly raised my spirits.

- No longer frustrated.

- On the contrary, hysterical and slightly embarrassed.

Shelby, we sucked.

- Speak for yourself.

- Hey, you were worse than me.

- I really am corrupting you, aren't I?

First smoking all those years ago

and now theft and vandalism.

What's next?

You think the kitchen will have noticed the missing bowl

and send out a search party?

- Shelby, why would you worry me like that?

- I'm joking, Lilibet.

How many students do you think there are at Broadbridge?

Imagine how many bowls and plates and cutlery

and serving dishes they have.

All right, all right obviously they're not

gonna notice one missing bowl.

- Well, thank goodness for that.

Talk about the shame, Shelby.

Thank you, Shelby.

Although it didn't quite go to plan.

It certainly worked out in the end, didn't it?

My tummy hurts from laughing.

- Welcome.

I'm just being a good friend, that's all.

Although, I wouldn't recommend smashing something

every time Mrs. Lumley gets you in fits.

A few thousand missing bowls

might actually get you noticed.

- Speaking of.

- Mrs. Lumley getting on your tits?

- No, idiot, being a good friend.

It's your birthday soon, isn't it?

- It's October 22nd, why?

- No reason.

- Lilibet.

- Nothing, nothing.

I'm just curious, that's all.

Not everything has to mean something, Shelby.

Now come on, Margot and Moses will be waiting for us.

- What?

- I told you, remember.

We're going for afternoon tea with them.

- So you did.

Is something going on between them, by the way?

- Margot and Moses?

- Yeah, they seem really close.

- We have a theory.

- They're together?

- Well.

I guess it's just hard admitting

you have feelings for a friend.

- Yeah, yeah I guess it is.

- Oh look, look.

It's Claire and Tippy over there.

- What do we do?

Should we go over?

- Well, they're your friends, Shelby.

- Yeah, they were once yours too.

- Well, Margot and Moses will be waiting for us

and it would be rude to make them wait any longer.

Besides, I can't stay for long.

I've got choir at five.

- Shall we then?

- Providing you don't make me smash anymore bowls.

- Oh, shut up.

My plan worked, didn't it?

Great stress relief.

- Okay, loony.

You just wait 'til the kitchens arrest me at supper.

- Well, theft is a redline offence after all.

- Oh, I didn't think about that.

- Shelby, what are you turning me into?

- Do you reckon he could see it if I put my bullock out?

- You wouldn't.

- All right, you can open your eyes now, Shelby.

- Happy birthday!

- You guys didn't need to do all this just for me.

- Of course we did.

- You're one of us now, buddy.

- It was Lilibet's idea.

But we all helped.

- You don't expect us to sing, do you?

- Margot.

- No, no, that's all right.

I've already had enough of that from my mom.

- Shelby, make a wish.

- Happy birthday, Shelby!

- Hurrah, happy birthday, my boy.

- Who wants the first piece of cake?

- Me!

- Do it, get it down, get it down.

- Happy birthday, you're 18.

How do you feel?

- Come on then, yes!

- This is ridiculous.

- Surprised, yeah.

- Well I'm surprised I held it in.

- Excuse me.

Are you finished with that?

Thank you.

Hold my drink.

- Is there one for everyone?

- Yeah, well I think so.

Charles, thank you.

- It's my treat.

Go on, there's one in there for everyone.

- What is it?

- Happiness, Shelby.

It's called bottle of joy, that's what it is.

- I think I'm fine, actually.

Thank you though, really.

- Oh go on, Shelby.

You got nothing to worry about.

We'll all be right here with you.

- Charles has done this stuff like a 1,000 times.

He'd never give us any of the bad stuff, I promise.

- Don't pressure him, Margot.

- I'm encouraging him.

I'm being kind.

- You don't have to do it if you don't want to, Shelby.

- Are you going to?

- Well, I mean it is your birthday.

- Might not hit for an hour.

Make sure you're all drinking, everyone.

- Vodka!

- Shelby, are you okay?

Has it hit you yet?

Do you want some water?

- Can we go outside?

- Outside?

- Yeah, I wanna watch the stars.

- Okay.

- October 22nd.

Happy birthday, Shelby!

Happy half term.

17 today, one more year and you'll be an adult

as daunting and as exciting as that may seem.

I'm supposed to be getting ready to see you tonight

but invariably birthdays always make me feel

so nostalgic.

I'll save the majority of my reflections

for later on this evening

when I can tell you them in person.

That in enthralled anticipation

there's one particular memory of note

which I simply can't seem to shake.

Majorca, July 2nd.

It was your idea to go skinny dipping

and yet if I remember correctly, I was

the one who relieved themselves of their clothing first.

We snuck out the villa, our two holidaying companions

tucked away in a drunken slumber,

and crept down to the beach.

Our beach.

Have you noticed, Shelby, how when we're on our own

venturing out into the world at night,

the moon is always full?

It's amazing how well a drunken haze

translates across so brilliantly the veil of magic.

How masterfully it breaks down the walls

between illusion and reality and so readily convinces

us that the shoddy little paddle boat we found

really did turn back into a pumpkin

at the 12th stroke of midnight.

- I think I might go and talk to Moses.

- I was gonna have a chat with Margot, anyway.

- Cool.

- Moses. - Margot.

- Mind if we have a little chat?

- Can I have a word?

- Sure.

I guess.

- About what, Charles?

- Just come with me for a sec.

- What do you want, Charles?

- What's up, Ros?

- I just thought we could have a little chat, one to one.

- I just wanted to ask you something.

- Okay, what's that?

- Who do you like?

- Seriously?

You brought me over here to pry into my love life.

Charles, don't be such a bore.

- I'm just curious.

People are talking.

- I'd hate for people to be spreading lies.

- Why, what are they saying?

- You and Moose.

- What about me and Moose?

- Well, you're together aren't you?

- No. Who's been saying that?

- Unimportant, just mindless chatter, I guess.

People creating gossip.

- You can ask Lilibet who I like

and it certainly, it isn't Moses.

- So there is someone you like then?

- Perhaps another time.

- Oh, tell me.

Who is this mystery boy?

Do they go to Broadbridge?

- Surely there is no one suitable, nay,

worthy enough for the captain of the rugby team.

- Oh there's someone.

- He's tall, strong, handsome.

- Does he like you back?

- She might, it's complicated.

- Well, maybe I can help you figure it out.

- I don't think I'm quite his type.

- You won't know 'til you ask.

- The issue is we're friends.

- Well, I'm sure she feels the same way.

- How do you know that?

- You're definitely his type.

Trust me.

- How can you be sure?

- I can prove it.

- Follow me.

- Look, you can see the big dipper.

- Shelby, I don't want this to come out the wrong way

but I really like you and I, never in my whole life

have I met someone as kind and as smart

and as brave as I have in meeting you.

And I can't believe I ever let us drift apart.

And I'm really sorry for that.

You know, for all that lost time.

- Well, I love you too, Lilibet.

It's not your fault.

Life, life just got in the way.

At least we have the rest of this year

to fix that though, right?

Oh and Lilibet, I really like your friends.

They've been so good to me.

- They really like you, too.

If I'm being honest, Shelby, I think you might

be the best friend I've ever had.

- Oh so are you.

- Do you mean that?

- Of course I mean it, Lilibet.

- You don't have to say it just because I-

- I mean it, Lilibet.

- The very best?

- The very best.

Better than Eppy?

- Better than Eppy?

- I just mean, are we better friends

than you Hephzibah were?

- Than me and Hephzibah were?

- On that night.

On that beautiful, blessed night.

The moon and the stars and the beach and the waves.

They all seemed like they were out for us,

didn't they, Shelby?

Like they were made for us.

Everything was there, so perfectly placed, so determined.

That's all it really comes down to, doesn't it?

That feeling, that atmosphere, the ambiance

of that night.

It was, and still is, indescribably electric.

That night felt alive, Shelby.

For the first time in my life

I felt so utterly and unbelievably happy.

And yes, the alcohol helped.

It numbed and dumbed me down

so that I no longer felt complex enough

to feel more than one emotion.

But for the first time in my life

that emotion was unadulterated joy.

Pure, intangible, complete, and utter happiness.

I don't know if you remember, Shelby,

but early on that night we had a rather funny old

conversation at dinner regarding how well coupled

we would be together.

Well, that thought planted a seed

which began to grow.

The sap infecting me like a passion.

And looking at you dancing to the silence of the moment.

Revelling in our friendship.

My heart burst from my chest and soared itself straight

to a new dwelling place.

A lovely, secret rack of it's very own, you.

- Margot.

- Moses.

- Margot, I'm sorry I tried.

I really, really tried for you

but Roisin coming unto me proved it.

Margot, I love you.

I love you so fucking much

and I don't care who knows anymore.

I want the world to know.

We got a year, it probably won't last

but none of that matters.

All that matters is that I love you, Margot.

I want you and I need you.

- I need you too, Moses.

- Seriously?

Are you sure?

Margot, are you sure?

We gotta get out of here.

Tell Shelby we say happy birthday.

- Where are you going?

- Bye!

- Fuck.

- What just happened?

- Wait a second, hold on.

You tried to get with Moose?

- Well don't give me that.

You tried to get with Margot.

- That was only for a bet.

- Wait, what? What bet?

- Nothing, forget I said anything.

- Wait, no, no.

Charles, what bet?

- Have you ever once stopped to wonder

why old photos are black and white.

Ignore technology.

I like to think it's because the magic

of a moment can only be captured by memory,

not by a camera.

Our hair gets white with age

because the colour of the magic fades.

God ordains strength out of the mouth of babes.

Our youth is a time to make the most of this magic.

To enjoy it's colour and live in its veracity.

And it's all thanks to you, Shelby.

You taught me to live life like this.

To appreciate nature and beauty and art.

To be thankful each and everyday

for the life we live.

You taught me the true meaning

of friendship, love, and compassion.

So thank you, Shelby.

Thank you for being you and thank you

for helping me become me.

- Eppy.

- Shelby, Eppy's not here anymore.

It's just me.

It's just you and me together again.

How it always should have been.

I love you, Shelby.

I love you more than anything and I appreciate you so much.

- I should have told you.

I should have told you earlier.

- The truth is, I love you Shelby Welham.

And more than just a plutonic, familial way.

I wish I had the courage to tell you

and perhaps one day I will, but I'm scared

that it'll ruin what we have.

I'd rather be unhappy with you than unhappy without you.

- Should've told me what, Shelby?

What should you have told me?

- I was waiting all of summer

for you to ask me on a date.

Waiting all of this half term for you to start flirting,

to show any inclination that you loved me

in the same way which I love you.

When we stripped naked that one fateful night

and allowed ourselves to be enshrouded

by the natural power of the ocean

in all its truth and potency, we captured

the essence of what it is to be alive, Shelby.

I thought that warranted more than just a life

of friendship with you.

- Shelby?

- I should have told you that I love you too.

- You realise the beauty of youth.

- Confidential.

- It's true.

- Stop that.

- It's true.

- I mean, I know it's true.

- Guys.

- Oh that's so sad.

- Classic. Absolutely classic.

- I just think it would have been nice

to have received an invite, that's all.

It was your birthday, after all, Shelby.

- I didn't know it was gonna happen.

It was a surprise.

- No doubt Lilibet's idea.

- Well, maybe we could do something this weekend.

I hear it's two for one down in the village.

- Two for one what, Tippy?

- Pies, at the Swan.

- I would have loved to, guys, but I can't this weekend.

I'm going to watch Moose's rugby game

up in Northumberland.

- Moose?

- Moses, sorry.

- Ugh, nicknames.

Fantastic, how fun.

- Claire.

- Well, we've always got Christmas, haven't we?

Maybe we don't.

Pray, have the little clique a getaway planned?

Skiing, perhaps? The Alps?

You are coming to Tippy's New Year's party, aren't you?

- Uh.

- Its ridiculous.

You know, you weren't the only one

that lost a best friend that day, Shelby.

In fact, it seems I've lost two.

- She still won't talk to me.

I mean, Tippy might but only when she's not around.

It's just, I don't know what to do to make it better.

I text, I wave in the corridors,

I even wrote her this stupid fucking letter.

It's just so awkward.

- I wouldn't worry about it, Shelby.

She's clearly made up her mind

and besides, they're all freaks anyway.

- Margot.

- What?

I mean, I'm sure they're nice people.

I'm just saying that now you've got us, right?

- Right.

- And you're coming to my New Year's party,

aren't you, Shelby?

- Mm-hm.

- Aw, yay!

I can't wait, it's gonna be so fun.

- If there's anything I know

is that it's this one right here knows how

to throw a good fucking party.

- Um, how big is it gonna be, do you think?

- Oh, nothing big.

Just a small thing.

A few great people.

Friends, champagne.

It'll be fun.

- Where's it supposed to...

- Hey guys.

- Shelby!

- Hey, Shelby!

- How was your Christmas?

Muah.

- Fine, fine, it was nice.

- How you doing, nice to see you.

- How was yours?

- Oh, there's only so much wine a person can drink, Shelby!

- Her family are big drinkers.

- Who's isn't?

- Mm, Lilibet's upstairs, come on.

So, how are you and Lilibet anyway,

after the whole, you know, birthday thing?

- We haven't really spoken about it.

- Hasn't it been like three months?

- I guess.

I suppose it doesn't feel like something

that really needs speaking about.

- Hm, but it's weird.

You guys didn't seem awkward about it, like, at all.

- We're not, not really, anyway.

I mean, thankfully we spoke about it early morning.

Like, literally, specifically agreed not to make it awkward.

And to be fair we joked about it a few times since, so, yeah

as far as I'm concerned everything's fine between us.

- Shelb, that's great.

Well, do you like her, in that way?

- I don't know.

I don't think so.

- You should talk to her about it tonight.

Trust me, after keeping the secret

that Moose and I were dating from everyone for so long

I've come to realise that it's genuinely not worth it.

Isn't that right?

- I was saying that from the start.

- Why did you guys keep it a secret, anyway?

- Isn't that because--

- Stupid reasons, nothing really.

Lilibet's upstairs.

We'll just be a sec.

- Cool.

- Hey guys.

- Shelby!

- Oh, it's been so long.

How was your Christmas? - Um.

- Wait, where's your drink?

- I don't have one.

- Oh here, take this, take my drink.

Honestly Shelby, I don't even want it.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, there's loads downstairs.

Absolutely, drink that up and go downstairs

and get some more.

- Thank you.

- Shelby, don't mean to be rude,

but what the flying fuck are you meant to be?

- He's Shakespeare, isn't he?

He must be, right?

- The wheel has come full circle.

I am here.

- Shelby loves Shakespeare.

Constantly quoting it.

Well, he's pretending to anyway.

Doubt any of us would know if he wasn't.

- Wow, you guys were made for each other.

- What are you meant to be, anyway, Charles.

- Can't you tell?

I'm Jimmy Savile.

- The kid's show guy.

- Brilliant, isn't it?

And seen as costumes were assigned,

I can't take the blame, either.

- But why would Margot and Moose make him come

as Jimmy Savile?

That makes no sense.

- Shelby.

- No, no, don't help him.

He can work this one out on his own.

Think about it, Shelby.

What was Savile known for?

- There's the penny drop.

- I.

- Better than Shakespeare.

- Hey guys.

- Oh my god.

- Hey.

- Oh Moses, I love your outfit.

Look at your sexy bod.

You naughty little bunny.

Maybe we should start wearing things like this to school.

What do you think, Margot?

- Oh I agree.

And you know, I think Mrs. Lumley would really approve.

Not to mention the monks.

- Hey, Ariel.

- Ariel?

Who's Ariel?

My name is Pussy. Pussy Galore.

- The Bond girl?

I swear we told you to come as the Little Mermaid.

- Drag is drag is drag.

Besides, this is more fun, no?

- Mm-hm.

- Have either of you guys seen Roisin?

- Oh she's upstairs.

Why?

- I love you guys.

- One in the stink, two in the pink.

Honestly, Shelby.

- Roisin!

- Oh my god.

- Who even is that?

- I think it's Ariel and by the looks of it he's bombed.

- You haven't told anyone?

- Ariel.

- Roisin, no please, you have to promise me.

- Ariel, I promise, now drop it.

- Ariel, why the fuck are you dressed

as some tranny prostitute?

- I'll have you know my name is Pussy Galore.

- Wasn't Pussy meant to be really hot?

- Implying Ariel isn't.

- Bite me, Charles.

- You'd like that, wouldn't you?

- Okay, so I'm gonna put Ariel to bed.

See you guys by the drinks?

- Shelby, is everything okay?

You seem quiet.

- Catch you guys in a sec.

I'm off to see what Percy Gladstone's up to.

- Shelby, what's wrong?

- Nothing, Lilibet, I'm fine, really.

- Shelby, if this is about us, then I'm sorry

but I never meant for it to happen like that.

You know, I love you, but we were drunk

and we were high.

- No, no, it's not about that, Lilibet.

I liked that.

You know with a friend, with you, it was nice.

- It was, wasn't it?

Oh, I cannot believe we haven't spoken about it until now.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Wait, what's wrong then?

Why are you upset?

- I'm distracted, that's all.

- About?

- Nothing, nothing.

It's so unimportant.

I'm just being annoying.

It's fine, I'm fine.

- Shelby.

- Are you enjoying the party?

- I'd be enjoying it more if you told me what's wrong.

- Lilibet.

- We both know I'm not gonna give up that easy.

- I'm sick, expect incoherent scribblings to follow.

- Excuse me?

- That was her last entry.

December 20th, I'm sick,

expect incoherent scribblings to follow.

- Right.

- Eppy left me her diary.

So I've been reading it.

Everyday at night.

Comparing her experiences to mine.

What happened a year ago with Eppy versus

what happens now without.

- I see.

- December the 20th, I am sick, expect

incoherent scribblings to follow.

It ends, it just ends.

That's it.

She doesn't even get to scribble.

That's how quickly.

I'm sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't do this.

I promised myself I wouldn't mope.

- Shelby I, I think it's great that you found

a way of coping.

You know, admirable, even.

But living in the past it's,

it's never a very good idea.

- Well, I know that now.

- Eppy wouldn't.

She wouldn't want you to be sad.

She'd want you to be enjoying yourself, wouldn't she?

- 376 days, Lilibet.

300 and 76.

That's how long it's been without her, 376.

And now there's nothing left, no more entries.

- But you have the memories, Shelby.

The love's still there.

Just because you can't see her anymore

or hear her doesn't mean she's not there.

She's a huge part of who you are, Shelby,

and that didn't just go when she passed.

She's still with you.

She'll always be with you.

Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you, Shelby?

- Nobody knows, Ariel, I promise.

And nobody's gonna find out.

So please, just calm down.

All you're doing is drawing attention to yourself.

Charles and I aren't gonna tell anyone, we swear.

Heck, he doesn't even know I know.

Honestly Ariel, you've got nothing to worry about.

- Is everything okay?

- Moses, uh, everything's great.

Thank you, I think Ariel here has

just had too much to drink, so.

- Maybe not enough to drink.

- Ariel, wait, no.

Moses, stop him.

Moses!

Honestly Moses, you call yourself a fucking rugby captain.

- 10, nine, eight

seven, six, five, four,

three, two, one!

- Ah, you beauty.

Thank you.

- Here.

- Has anybody seen Charles?

- No idea, sorry.

Hey Lilibet, how we doing?

You're good.

- I'm, I'm, I'm a fairy godmother.

- Yeah?

Well, what do you say we bippity-boppity-boop

you back to bed, then hm?

How does that sound?

Okay, here you go.

- Did we make it to New Year's?

- Uh, yeah, yeah.

We made it to New Year's.

We were actually together at the countdown.

- Did we kiss?

Did we kiss?

- Uh, no, no Lilibet we didn't kiss.

- Why, why didn't we kiss?

- Come on, come on big step, that's it.

Be careful of your dress.

There you go, you're really good at this.

Here we go let's just clean you up slightly.

Oh, good.

Come on, Lilly.

Here we go, here we go.

Are you all right, are you in one piece?

Okay.

- Shelby and I, we liked to operate

off a system of spontaneity.

If it's random, totally unplanned but seems like fun,

it probably will be.

So, phones dead, 4:00 in the morning

we fish some half submerged trolley out

of a flooded pathway and unto the road.

Sure, it was a little bit wet

but when you're drunk and in good company

what does that matter?

We took it in turns, riding the trolley

whilst the other pushed.

And although it pains me to say it,

Shelby was the far better trolley operator.

I like to think I was jolly good competition.

Oh my god, Shelby are you okay?

- You idiot!

- Oh my god, I am so sorry.

- Over the past few days

we vowed to one another to be best friends for life

and I think we will be.

Even if other people get in the way

we'll always have one another to fall back on.

- Shelby?

- I'm very lucky to have him.

- Shelby.

Shelby.

- What, Mom?

- You know how I feel about you reading

that damn book.

- It makes me happy.

- You've read it twice over.

- It's all I have left of her.

- If you really loved her, Shelby, you'd let her...

Well, you know how the saying goes.

- It's weird how quickly autumn turns to winter

and winter to spring.

And even quicker, spring to summer.

Our little years trundle by so effortlessly.

One second we're coming to school for the first time

and the next it's the last.

I know at the time of writing this I still

have two years left to go, but I just can't help

but think about how quickly it's going.

How soon this will all seem like a strange dream.

Weirder still are the friendships we made.

How quickly they can change.

I wonder who I'll be friends with after school

when life begins.

Lilibet?

At this rate, I doubt it.

Claire, Tippy, Shelby.

You'd think it was certain

but just as time changes, people do too.

We never know what the future has for us in store.

The good, bad, we have no idea.

And that's why we've got to enjoy what we have now.

And who we surround ourselves with now

because there's no saying anything

in this crazy little life that we live will last

and there's no knowing when it's time to say goodbye.

- Eppy.

Its taken me sometime to realise,

well, over a year.

I did love you, Eppy.

I did and I still do.

But you were my twin.

You were like a sister to me.

And when you died, I guess so did I.

Or a large part of me did, at least.

But in the fragile version of me that survived

in that broken wreck, what was leftover,

Lilibet has found something new, someone new,

and that new person has grown

and he has changed and blossomed

and now this new me, he is me.

I've changed, Eppy, all people do.

And you'll always be my best friend, for life,

just as we promised.

But I can't sit around anymore.

I can't wait for you to come back

because that's never going to happen, is it?

And as much as I cry and I pray

and cuss and dream, it's never going

to be the way it was again.

But the thing is, I can't be scared

of that world without you, anymore.

Because what I've come to realise

is that world will never exist.

Just because you're not here doesn't mean

that you're not here, Eppy.

Heck, I see you each and every day.

I see you in the trees, the flowers, the forget me nots.

I see you every time I step foot in the Abbey

or on the beach.

I see you in Richmond thick pork sausages

and Heinz baked beans.

I see you in David Bowie's songs,

that Stephen Chbosky novel.

You're everywhere, Eppy.

And in the most random things.

So why should I be scared of a world

without you anymore?

You may not be here but

you never really left, either.

A lot happens in a year.

A lot changes.

I love you, Eppy.

I do, I love you.

I love you so much.

I love you to pieces.

But the time for grief has passed.

It's time to accept life.

And even if it gets me nowhere, well.

Well, I'd hate myself if I didn't try.

- A whole year done.

- And just exams left.

- How will you cope not being head girl anymore?

- I'll have you know that master day

was my last official GT.

- Oo.

- Congratulations!

- That's actually fucking mad.

This is really happening.

We're actually finishing.

- Well, in light of such revelations

there's only one thing for it.

We drink this event like any other

and get rip roaring fucked.

One last piss off for the Broadbridge crew, what do you say?

- Huzzah.

- Good.

- Cheers.

- I fucking love you guys.

- Aw, we love you too.

- Cheers.

- Do you remember back at Shelby's birthday

when you said you tried to get with Margot for a bet?

- What?

Who did?

- Charles.

- Seriously, is that why you tried it on?

- Yeah, it's been so much time now, Charles.

You never said who bet you.

Why won't you say who bet you?

- It's naughty.

- Naughty?

That someone wanted you to kiss me, Charles.

Don't be annoying, who?

- See, even she wants to know.

If I tell you guys, you have to promise not to be mad.

- Charles, why would they be mad?

- I think you should know, mister.

- What?

- Yeah, what?

- Don't you remember?

- Remember what?

- When we were betting to see which one of us

could sleep with Margot first.

I was only trying to win, Margot.

That's the only reason I tried to kiss you.

- Moses, is this true?

- Of course not.

- Now, now, Mr. Moose.

Don't you lie to your lovely lady.

Remember, when channing after the woods party

you bet me you could sleep with Margot before I did.

- That is not how it went down.

Margot, it's not what it sounds like.

- Not what it sounds like!

What so I was, so this was just a bet to you?

- Of course not, Margot.

- Don't fucking touch me!

- Margot!

- Fuck you, Moses!

- Margot!

- Charles, you idiot.

Honestly.

Moses wait, let me handle it.

- No, you can fuck right off.

You've done enough.

Margot, wait!

- Hold on, I've done enough?

- You brought it up.

- Oh fuck off, Charles.

- You better watch yourself, faggot.

Unless you want a round two.

- Margot, Margot please.

Margot, Margot please just talk to me.

- You've ruined everything.

- Margot it's not what it sounds like, please.

- Just leave me alone.

Just leave me alone.

- Margot, please.

Margot!

Margot, please.

Margot!

- Lilibet.

- Hm?

- Thank you.

- For what?

- For making my last year so great.

- I hardly did anything, Shelby.

- You did more than anything.

- Butterfly effect, I guess.

You're welcome, Shelby.

- Do you think that rumour about Chelsea Jacobs is true?

- Which one?

- That when her hair is straight

it's because she wants to shag.

- I wouldn't know.

- She apparently does.

Margot.

Do you wanna get him back?

- Ariel, wake up.

- What the fuck?

- Ariel's here.

- I thought you said he wasn't supposed to be here.

- Well I didn't think he would be.

He's meant to be in CT with me.

Ariel!

- What's wrong with him?

- I have no fucking clue.

Ariel, Ariel, what the fuck.

Ariel what's the matter with you?

- Where is it?

- I don't know, it'll be in his drawers or something.

Ariel.

- It's not here.

- Well, it'll be with his drugs.

Try looking for a small black pouch.

- That could be anywhere!

- Well get looking.

If Ariel's bunking as well we won't

have long before a teacher comes looking for us all.

Okay?

- Black bag, I found it.

Gosh, that's lucky.

- And?

- Oh my god.

- I know, right.

Oh my god.

- Yeah.

I knew.

- Oh my god.

Where did he get this?

- Oh, it's a long story.

Sorry about this, Ariel.

Didn't want it to come to it,

but it's an emergency.

I'll keep your name out of it.

- Feel better soon.

- Are you sure you want to do this

without even talking to him first?

- Don't try and stop me, Roisin.

- I wouldn't have given you the idea

if I didn't think it was a good one,

but it was more for when he confessed to the bet.

- He did!

He said, it's not what it sounds like.

Regardless, that means there was a bet.

- Margot, maybe he was telling the truth.

Maybe it isn't what it sounds like.

You know Charles as well as I do.

- Sleeping with girls for a bet

is fucking disgusting.

- You're right, it is.

But maybe Moses didn't--

- It's a lie.

It's a complete and utter lie.

It's practically rape.

Lying to someone so that you can sleep with them.

It's disgusting.

It's unforgivable.

- Rape's a strong word, Margot.

Margot, wait, just wait a god damned fucking second.

This could ruin his life.

This could ruin your life and for what?

Just talk to him.

You've got the photo now.

This can wait 'til later.

- What if that had been my first time, huh?

What if that had been my virginity?

Is that all I'm worth?

A stupid, dumb fucking bet.

What if I had lost my virginity

on some creepy pervert just trying

to prove to stupid cunt fucking bum buddy

that he can sleep with me if he wanted to?

Because I'm that easy.

- But it wasn't your virginity, Margot.

And even if it was, so what?

Virginity means chicken shit.

It's not real.

- Argh!

- Margot wait, your first time's only important

if you want it to be, Margot.

Margot!

- So, what if we were to take the character Ralph

and call him, say, Rachel?

- Miss, can I take a phone call quickly?

- Moses, you know you shouldn't have your phone on in class.

It's against the rules.

- Please Miss, I wouldn't ask

if it weren't important.

- Your exams are in a fortnight's time.

- It's an emergency, Miss.

- Five minutes.

And you can hand your phone in on the way back.

- Margot.

- What are you doing here?

- Margot, can we please just talk about this?

- Everyone is laughing at me, Moses.

The whole school is laughing at me

like I'm some kind of joke.

- They're not, Margot.

They're not laughing at you.

- Because I was just a bet to you.

Even after I gave you everything.

- Margot, just calm down, okay.

Think about this.

We were together before the first woods party.

That's when he said the bet happened, right?

Yeah, we were already dating by then, Margot.

- I'll do it, Moses.

- What?

- I've got your little picture.

- What picture?

What the fuck is that?

Did you take that?

What the fuck, Margot.

Where did you get that from?

- I'll post it around school.

You know I will.

- Margot, where did you get this from?

- Does it matter?

- Margot, where the fuck did you get that from?

- Roisin and I stole it from Ariel.

- Why the fuck does Ariel have a naked picture of me?

- Was I just a bet to you?

- Margot, we've been through this.

Listen to me.

We were already together before any talk

about a fucking bet.

- So there was a bet.

- Not a real one.

- To sleep with me.

- We were already together.

It was just to shut Charles up.

- But we hadn't had sex by that point.

I hadn't let you because.

- Because what?

Margot, just talk to me, this is insane.

- Because I trusted you.

- Margot, please.

Margot please just believe me.

Margot, don't do this, please.

- Well maybe, you should have thought about

that before I became just a game to you.

- Margot wait. Please.

New photo, what?

Oh my god.

Margot, Margot!

Margot.

Margot, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Have you lost your fucking mind?

This isn't "Mean Girls" Margot.

This isn't some dumb fucking movie.

This is my life!

- And this is mine!

- I made a stupid fucking bet that I could sleep

with you before he could because you made me promise

not to tell anyone we were together.

I didn't want to.

I tried to avoid it but he forced me.

It was either make the bet or speak up.

I kept my promise to you, Margot.

And this is how you repay me.

Margot, I loved...

I love you.

But at Shelby's party every word I said to you I meant.

And I still mean.

You know Charles, he loves drama.

This is what he wants, Margot.

Don't let him do this to us.

- Miss Joyce.

Didn't expect to see you skiving as well.

- It seems everybody is.

- Oh?

- Margot, Ariel, I'm guessing Moses now too.

- Ariel's bunking?

That's rogue.

I thought so too.

- I suppose the fag's mind will always

be a thing of mystery.

- Why do you call him that?

- What, fag?

- Does it make you feel big or something?

- I say what I see.

- And that's all you see when you look at Ariel?

Ugh, you're wrong, Charles

and if you actually spent some time

with him you'd realise there's a lot about him.

- Trust me, I spent more time with that boy

than I care to admit.

- Meaning?

- Guy stuff, you wouldn't understand.

- Just like I wouldn't understand that picture of Moses.

- Ah, you saw it too, did you?

One of the lucky few, it seems.

His jokes, isn't it.

Shame it was only up for like five seconds.

- What?

- On Thru Vine.

- It got posted?

- Where did you see it?

- Oh for fuck's sake, Margot. - Ros.

- I need to go.

Now that Moses knows about the photo

he'll be heading straight for Ariel.

- What does that waste of space have to do with it?

- Oh, cut the crap, Charles, honestly.

I know what happened.

- He told you?

- He told me everything.

I know everything, Charles.

Absolutely everything.

About you and him, what you did.

- I knew that little faggot wouldn't be able

to keep his fucking mouth shut about it.

I knew he'd have to brag to someone about it.

- What?

- I hope he told you he was asking for it.

- Of course, he asked for the photo--

- We were drunk, I was horny.

- Uh, no. - Wait, what?

- You go on.

I wanna hear what you were gonna say.

- Sometimes a man's gotta take what he can get.

Slutty little freak was practically begging me to do him.

You know, I bet that's why he shaved his fucking head.

Because I didn't text him afterwards

or some bullshit like that.

Talk about cliche's.

Such an attention whore.

- Wait, Charles I'm confused.

So.

- You know I'm not gay, right?

Ros, it was one time.

We've all done things we're not proud of,

especially when drunk.

Of all people you should get that.

- Excuse me?

- What?

We both know I'd be lying if I said

you weren't a bit of a trollop when smashed, Roisin.

Heck, remember the time I had to put you to bed.

You were even gagging for it then.

Nothing stops you.

- Charles if I needed putting to bed

how could I have been asking for it?

- Actions speak louder than words.

- Ugh, you beastly piece of shit.

- Don't be like that.

He was following me around in pants and a bra.

What did he fucking expect?

He wants to act like a woman, he'll be fucked like one too.

And I suppose now it seems

he's acting up like one as well.

- Charles you're a.

- Honestly, Roisin, I bet what he's told you

has been blown way out of proportion.

Who are you going to believe, me

or that disgusting excuse for a man?

You know what he's like.

- I know what you're like, Charles.

You're a fucking, you're a fucking monster.

- Roisin.

- You're a fucking rapist.

- Here we go with the victim shit.

Of course you're taking his side.

- You raped Ariel.

By the sounds of it you raped--

- I'm not a fucking rapist, Roisin.

- Try telling that to the judge!

- Roisin.

- You deserve to rot in hell for what you've done.

You piece of fucking shit.

- Roisin!

- No, you're disgusting!

You disgust me!

- Roisin!

- What the fuck, man.

Oh, typical.

Just as you get caught out.

What are you planning on doing, dumb ass?

OD-ing on ket instead of facing me, huh?

Where'd you get that photo from, Ariel?

Where'd you get that photo from?

Huh, so we're gonna have to do this the hard way.

You think you can perv on me, do you?

You think you could be a little fucking creep

and not deal with the consequences, huh?

- It wasn't me.

- What was that weirdo?

Chatty Ariel, annoying fucking Ariel.

No words now though, right?

No words to what's fucking asked of him.

Where'd you get that photo from, Ariel?

Did you take it?

- It wasn't--

- Where'd you get it?

Are there more?

You got more nude pics of me hidden away

in the naughty fucking drug bag?

You dirty little creep.

You've never been shy before.

What's holding you back now?

If it wasn't you then who was it?

You were the one Margot got

the photo off, weren't you?

You think I like knowing that somewhere out there

is my naked body being used by creeps?

Perverts to jack off to.

You think I like knowing that my face

is being used in that way?

Without my consent by people I don't know!

You think I like knowing that someone

has been taking fucking photos of me

for god knows how long, against my trust!

Do you?

What the fuck is wrong with you, Ariel?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Fight back, fight back!

- It wasn't me.

- Then who the fuck was it?

Where'd you get that picture, Ariel?

I'm not going to ask you again.

- It was..

- It was who, who gave you that photo, Ariel?

- It was Charles!

- No, that's not possible.

He wouldn't.

No, that's not possible.

You're lying, Ariel, tell me that's not true.

That's not the truth, Ariel.

Tell me the truth!

- No, no, no.

- What the fuck, Roisin?

- Moses, what have you done?

What the fuck have you done to him?

- This doesn't concern you, Roisin.

Stay out of it.

- If you think for a second I'm just gonna walk out of here

and let you kill him.

- Roisin, he's saying Charles took nude pics of me

that he gave them out.

He's lying.

- Ariel, I know what happened.

I know what happened and it's gonna be okay.

We're gonna work this out together, I promise.

- Roisin, didn't you hear me?

He's saying Charles is a pervert, your Charles.

- He's certainly not my Charles!

Don't you dare ever say that again.

Don't you dare!

- Ariel's saying he's a pervert, Ros.

- And he is, a pervert, a liar.

Moses, he's a fucking rapist.

- What?

- Shh.

Shh, it's gonna be okay.

- Oh my god.

Ariel, I.

- Oh my god.

Shelby. - What?

- Oh my god.

- What, Lilibet?

- They've expelled Charles.

- What?

- I don't know.

Apparently he stole Ariel's drugs

or something, like all of them.

- Why would Ariel report, how could Ariel even report

it without getting in trouble himself?

- I don't think he got expelled for stealing.

I think he got expelled for the drugs themselves.

Apparently a first year found a doggie bag

outside of Charles' room with cocaine in it.

Margot's saying they've done a whole room sweep

and they found all of Ariel's stolen drugs.

- But that doesn't sound very much like Charles.

- But they've expelled him for it.

- That makes no sense, what's the point?

He finishes in like three weeks anyway.

- Well rather, they have to let him back

to see his exams.

Wait hold on, I'm gonna ring Margot.

- We're going to sue the fuck out of this school.

We're going to fucking well shut you down.

You have not heard the last of this.

- Stop you're embarrassing yourself.

- Get in the car, get in the fucking car, Charles, now.

You wait 'til your fucking father hears

what you've fucking well done now.

He's going to go fucking mad.

I can tell you now.

He's going to go fucking bonkers.

- The exam is now finished.

You must stop writing now.

Please put your pens down.

Check that you have entered all

the necessary information on the answer form.

- How'd you find it?

- Okay, all things considered.

Yeah, I mean.

- Mom, it was so hard.

You don't understand.

Obviously I revised, obviously I revised.

Are you joking?

- Oh, poor guy.

- Just don't tell dad.

- Has someone drunk all the beer already?

- Have they drunk all the beer.

We've got our own stash.

- All right, all right, come on, Moses.

- Enough booze for everyone, Shel boy.

Don't worry about it.

- Hey don't open them yet.

Wait 'til we get there.

- Shelby, I needed this after that.

It was so fucking bad.

I fucked it.

- It's right over here, right over here.

Oh there we are.

- Come on, let's go, let's go.

Woo! We are here.

- Oh my god.

- Roisin, can I have your lighter?

- You want a sip?

- Tippy?

- Five years with you fuckers, done.

- Did you ever think that this is how we'd be ending things?

- It doesn't seem real.

- It's been quite the fucking year.

- You can jolly well say that again.

- It's time for life to begin.

- Yeah.

- Promise me that we'll all stay in touch.

No matter what.

And that means all of you.

- Don't be wet, Lilibet.

- I don't think I can really explain

what it felt like, leaving.

After five years you grow up so much.

You're begging to be let out.

To be done with it all.

When you join it all feels so big and exciting

and you can't help but feel so small.

You can't imagine a life outside school, past A-levels.

And you think by 18 you'll be a real adult

with real responsibilities and a real understanding

of the world around you.

And to be honest, by the time summer hits

in your upper sixth year you do feel like an adult.

So, when the time comes there's happiness,

shock, and ignorant joy.

Kind of like that feeling piping hot tea has

when it slips down your throat and warms your chest.

Like a stew might in winter.

There's a comforting sensation, a nice one,

but you get the feeling it won't last forever.

Understanding doesn't come 'til later.

Nostalgia even after that.

Only after the excitement of summer passes.

It doesn't really hit 'til you've settled

into your new halls at University

and made new friends who, despite how hard you try,

aren't quite as good as your old ones.

Or better, depending on who you ask.

Or it's like after the first few weeks of a new job.

Or when you're travelling across

the other side of the world and it feels

like you're a million miles away from everyone

and everything because you are a million miles away.

And although you are loving it, you can't help

but think deep down that a night with your mates

down at the pub, or sitting at a sofa at home

watching shitty Saturday night television

with your family might also be quite nice, too.

That's when you realise that maybe

you weren't as grown up as you think.

And that being an adult isn't really what you want anymore.

You don't have a clue how to pay your dues

or what it takes to move out.

You start doubting what it is you want to do with your life.

And it's weird the things that come back to you.

It's not just the parties or the drama

or the things that made it seem like your world

was coming crashing down.

Or necessarily even those times

that made you feel infinite.

You remember the parties too, don't get me wrong.

Or the chander, the amount of time you spent

smoking in the woods, all the shit you pulled,

or the people you pulled, or didn't pull.

You remember the relationships

and the heartbreak, and the friends with benefits,

and the gossip, and the time all the girls

in the year got involved in an overblown argument

and made all the boys take sides.

And you remember the in jokes.

Oh god, the in jokes.

All the times you went loopy with boredom

and chatted absolute wank with your best friends.

But it didn't matter because it was hilarious

and you laughed so hard you cried and choked

and your sides felt like they'd slip off your body

with the amount you were shaking.

And you wished you'd written it all down

in a cohesive journal to look back on and laugh.

Or cry.

So you could show your family and friends

and they could laugh and cry with you, too.

Growing up's scary.

You can't wait for it when you're younger.

But the older you get the more you wish

it'd all just slow the fuck down.

Kind of sucks, to be honest.

I'm probably being selfish saying that

when you didn't get the chance.

But isn't it a bit selfish of you too, in a way,

to die young and happy when everything

was so intense and exciting and hopeful and beautiful.

I guess I'm trying to thank you

for making my teenage years so exhilarating.

For the stories.

You were right when you said,

in time school would just feel

like some half remembered dream

and that we'd have to have left

for life to truly feel like it'd begun.

But what a mad, beautiful heart breaking love affair

of a dream it turned out to be.

So here's to everything, Eppy.

Here's to you and here's to this great big shit show

we called life.