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1
00:00:09,106 --> 00:00:10,934
[SIGHS] Do you know what today is?
2
00:00:20,141 --> 00:00:22,317
Of course I do.
3
00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:25,625
But you're so pretty when
you say it, so you say it.
4
00:00:25,668 --> 00:00:28,105
No, it's just Friday,
5
00:00:28,149 --> 00:00:31,239
or, as I like to call it, "Fri-yay."
6
00:00:31,766 --> 00:00:33,241
So what do you say
7
00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:36,461
we live it up and try that new
restaurant, Jalapeño Kevin's?
8
00:00:36,505 --> 00:00:37,941
Ooh, I've been wanting to go there
9
00:00:37,966 --> 00:00:40,756
because the name sounds exotic,
but it has "Kevin" in it,
10
00:00:40,781 --> 00:00:42,163
so I know it won't be too spicy.
11
00:00:42,206 --> 00:00:45,773
Yeah. Yeah, remember how
much we like Hong Kong Dave's?
12
00:00:45,798 --> 00:00:48,459
Mm, yeah. Ugh, but we can't.
13
00:00:48,484 --> 00:00:50,432
We have date night with Don and Marcy.
14
00:00:50,475 --> 00:00:52,086
Oh, yeah, they won't try a new place.
15
00:00:52,129 --> 00:00:53,977
- They always just want to go to Mick's.
- Yeah.
16
00:00:54,001 --> 00:00:55,829
Every week, it's the
same: order burgers,
17
00:00:55,872 --> 00:00:57,203
then Marcy sends hers back
18
00:00:57,228 --> 00:01:00,228
because it's too well done
or not well done enough.
19
00:01:00,774 --> 00:01:01,919
It's never just right.
20
00:01:01,944 --> 00:01:03,663
She's the Goldilocks of burgers.
21
00:01:06,709 --> 00:01:10,542
Look, you know I love Don and Marcy,
22
00:01:10,567 --> 00:01:12,541
but, you know, we're kind of in a rut.
23
00:01:12,584 --> 00:01:15,412
Hey, what if we say one of
the kids is sick and we cancel,
24
00:01:15,437 --> 00:01:17,918
and then we go to Jalapeño Kevin's?
25
00:01:19,958 --> 00:01:21,061
Honey, we can't do that.
26
00:01:21,086 --> 00:01:23,305
- He's my brother. We love them.
- I know.
27
00:01:25,577 --> 00:01:27,709
I said we loved them before
you said we loved them.
28
00:01:29,530 --> 00:01:30,908
It's just... I don't know.
29
00:01:30,933 --> 00:01:33,823
We've all been together a long time.
30
00:01:33,848 --> 00:01:36,353
Yeah. It's like a marriage.
31
00:01:38,088 --> 00:01:39,481
[CHUCKLES]
32
00:01:39,524 --> 00:01:41,918
But not this marriage. No, no, no.
33
00:01:41,943 --> 00:01:43,525
Every moment with you is a gift.
34
00:01:43,550 --> 00:01:45,030
Uh-huh.
35
00:01:47,259 --> 00:01:49,783
- Anybody want a snack?
- What do you got?
36
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,269
Pocket bacon.
37
00:01:54,286 --> 00:01:56,341
What kind of bacon?
38
00:01:56,362 --> 00:01:59,060
He carries bacon everywhere
in case of emergencies.
39
00:02:00,850 --> 00:02:02,547
My car runs into a snow bank,
40
00:02:02,559 --> 00:02:05,562
I can last a week with
just the bacon I have on me.
41
00:02:07,346 --> 00:02:10,349
He's also been tackled
by dogs four times.
42
00:02:11,426 --> 00:02:14,995
Thanks for explaining, but I was
never seriously considering it.
43
00:02:15,771 --> 00:02:17,654
I've got to head out anyway.
44
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,115
Oh, hot date?
45
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:21,019
Yup. She's a mobile cat groomer.
46
00:02:21,044 --> 00:02:23,351
I met her in the Band-Aid
aisle at the drugstore.
47
00:02:28,405 --> 00:02:30,179
Boy, I am glad I got married
48
00:02:30,204 --> 00:02:32,859
before I hit the cat groomer
phase of being single.
49
00:02:33,807 --> 00:02:35,995
Hey, don't forget we have
couples dinner tonight.
50
00:02:36,020 --> 00:02:37,213
How could I forget?
51
00:02:37,238 --> 00:02:39,430
We do couples dinner at
Mick's almost every week.
52
00:02:39,454 --> 00:02:42,831
How about, next week,
instead of dinner at Mick's...
53
00:02:42,856 --> 00:02:44,844
- Yeah?
- We do dinner at Mick's,
54
00:02:44,869 --> 00:02:46,890
followed by a jug band concert?
55
00:02:48,741 --> 00:02:51,422
Is it just jugs?
56
00:02:51,466 --> 00:02:52,788
It's a whole band.
57
00:02:52,813 --> 00:02:55,903
There's washboards, banjos, spoons.
58
00:02:55,992 --> 00:02:59,604
So any instrument a Muppet would play?
59
00:02:59,974 --> 00:03:01,935
That's a pass.
60
00:03:02,073 --> 00:03:05,237
Okay, but this is your only
chance to yell "Nice jugs"
61
00:03:05,262 --> 00:03:06,742
without getting in trouble.
62
00:03:10,079 --> 00:03:12,135
Stop what you're
doing. I got great news.
63
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,171
Don just called and canceled dinner.
64
00:03:14,196 --> 00:03:16,416
- Marcy sprained her ankle!
- [GASPS]
65
00:03:17,167 --> 00:03:18,346
Yay!
66
00:03:18,371 --> 00:03:22,288
I mean, oh, sad for Marcy,
but now it really is Fri-yay.
67
00:03:22,313 --> 00:03:25,257
Yeah. Don said she has
to stay home and ice it.
68
00:03:25,282 --> 00:03:26,331
Well, then I think
69
00:03:26,356 --> 00:03:29,543
tonight is all about you,
me and Jalapeño Kevin.
70
00:03:29,572 --> 00:03:31,409
[LAUGHS]
71
00:03:31,917 --> 00:03:34,006
The only threesome I will ever agree to.
72
00:03:35,419 --> 00:03:37,682
Eh, we'll talk after
a couple margaritas.
73
00:03:40,626 --> 00:03:42,831
This place is great. My drink is blue!
74
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:44,336
It's a blu-garita, Adam!
75
00:03:44,361 --> 00:03:45,406
[LAUGHS]
76
00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:48,958
And it has a gummy jalapeño in it.
77
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,831
Because it's Jalapeño Kevin's.
78
00:03:51,874 --> 00:03:54,094
They got their thinking
caps on in the head office.
79
00:03:54,137 --> 00:03:56,009
[LAUGHTER]
80
00:03:56,052 --> 00:03:57,532
[STAMMERS]
81
00:03:57,575 --> 00:03:58,593
What's Don doing here?
82
00:03:58,618 --> 00:04:00,881
He's supposed to be home
taking care of Marcy.
83
00:04:01,192 --> 00:04:04,065
Maybe he came to pick up food
for her and ran into friends.
84
00:04:04,155 --> 00:04:04,999
Oh, that makes sense.
85
00:04:05,024 --> 00:04:06,306
He said she couldn't
even get out of bed.
86
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,428
Aw. Wait, there's Marcy.
87
00:04:08,453 --> 00:04:10,085
Olé!
88
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:17,466
That better mean "ouch" in Spanish.
89
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,467
I can't believe they ditched us!
90
00:04:41,510 --> 00:04:44,209
After we didn't ditch them.
91
00:04:44,252 --> 00:04:47,212
You know why? Because we're good people.
92
00:04:47,536 --> 00:04:48,972
It's our worst quality.
93
00:04:50,661 --> 00:04:52,715
Why didn't you let me go
over there and say something?
94
00:04:52,739 --> 00:04:54,076
'Cause I didn't want
you to make a scene.
95
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:55,622
You were so mad your lips got blue.
96
00:04:57,878 --> 00:05:00,098
That was from the blu-garita.
97
00:05:00,123 --> 00:05:02,009
Oh.
98
00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:03,532
But I am mad.
99
00:05:03,576 --> 00:05:05,360
Don and Marcy cheated on us!
100
00:05:05,404 --> 00:05:06,927
I know.
101
00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:10,161
After we gave them the
best years of our lives.
102
00:05:10,490 --> 00:05:12,957
Yeah. And how do they repay us?
103
00:05:12,982 --> 00:05:15,811
By olé-ing with some other couple.
104
00:05:18,263 --> 00:05:19,940
So what do we do?
105
00:05:19,983 --> 00:05:21,061
We're gonna do what I should've done
106
00:05:21,085 --> 00:05:23,936
when my first boyfriend cheated
on me: talk face to face.
107
00:05:23,961 --> 00:05:25,007
Oh.
108
00:05:25,032 --> 00:05:27,643
You know, instead of just
telling everybody he had crabs.
109
00:05:37,325 --> 00:05:39,264
I learn something new
about you every day.
110
00:05:39,307 --> 00:05:40,308
[CHUCKLES]
111
00:05:46,255 --> 00:05:47,620
Hey, Don.
112
00:05:47,663 --> 00:05:49,935
Still stuck at home with Marcy, huh?
113
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,353
Yeah. I haven't left the house.
114
00:05:51,865 --> 00:05:55,149
Hey, remind me, how did you
say Marcy hurt her ankle?
115
00:05:55,607 --> 00:05:58,435
Oh, she was playing streetball
with some neighborhood toughs.
116
00:05:59,501 --> 00:06:02,287
We saw you guys at Jalapeño Kevin's.
117
00:06:02,747 --> 00:06:04,637
Hmm, I'm not aware
of that establishment.
118
00:06:05,943 --> 00:06:06,902
We have evidence.
119
00:06:06,927 --> 00:06:08,684
Yeah, we took a picture of you
120
00:06:08,709 --> 00:06:10,600
eating the other half
of those enchiladas.
121
00:06:10,625 --> 00:06:11,800
Here it is,
122
00:06:11,825 --> 00:06:14,212
you and Marcy with strangers.
123
00:06:14,255 --> 00:06:16,855
And they don't look like
a couple of ankle doctors.
124
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,259
Well, that's not us.
125
00:06:18,303 --> 00:06:21,567
- Wh...
- How could that possibly not be you?
126
00:06:21,610 --> 00:06:23,569
Everyone in the world's
got a look-alike.
127
00:06:23,612 --> 00:06:25,875
It's weird that Marcy's
and mine are together.
128
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:28,356
I guess we were meant to be.
129
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,228
Can you believe this?
130
00:06:30,271 --> 00:06:32,012
We know you're lying.
131
00:06:32,055 --> 00:06:34,766
You're right, he is lying.
132
00:06:34,791 --> 00:06:37,452
We went out with another
couple last night.
133
00:06:37,496 --> 00:06:39,846
- And it felt good.
- [CHUCKLES]
134
00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:45,247
We did things we haven't done in years.
135
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:46,602
We don't need the details
136
00:06:46,627 --> 00:06:48,028
of your night out with the floozies.
137
00:06:48,052 --> 00:06:49,080
ANDI: Yeah.
138
00:06:49,105 --> 00:06:50,919
- We couldn't care less about them.
- Hmm.
139
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,599
We don't care who they are
or where they came from.
140
00:06:53,729 --> 00:06:56,254
So who are they and
where'd they come from?
141
00:06:56,297 --> 00:06:57,864
- Tina and Trevor.
- Yeah.
142
00:06:57,889 --> 00:07:00,414
We call them "TNT"
'cause they're dynamite.
143
00:07:00,475 --> 00:07:01,781
[LAUGHS]
144
00:07:02,573 --> 00:07:04,262
They sound stupid.
145
00:07:05,417 --> 00:07:07,874
Look, the fact is this thing
146
00:07:07,917 --> 00:07:09,397
hasn't been good for a while.
147
00:07:09,422 --> 00:07:11,206
We're all just going
through the motions.
148
00:07:11,269 --> 00:07:14,315
Well, we feel the same way, but
we didn't go behind your backs.
149
00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:16,709
We just talked about
it behind your backs.
150
00:07:16,752 --> 00:07:21,235
If you feel the same way, I
think it's time for a break.
151
00:07:21,771 --> 00:07:23,860
Wait a minute, you're
breaking up with us?
152
00:07:24,029 --> 00:07:26,151
You're breaking up with us?
153
00:07:26,414 --> 00:07:28,581
You? Us?
154
00:07:29,936 --> 00:07:31,720
Unbelievable.
155
00:07:32,307 --> 00:07:34,901
We are the best thing
that ever happened to you.
156
00:07:35,648 --> 00:07:37,807
Good luck with your new couple.
157
00:07:38,470 --> 00:07:40,346
- I heard they have crabs.
- [CHUCKLES]
158
00:07:45,201 --> 00:07:48,192
The only way to get over this is
to get right back on the horse.
159
00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:50,741
We need to get with a new
couple as soon as possible.
160
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,267
They don't even have
to be good-looking.
161
00:07:53,661 --> 00:07:55,922
Yeah, what we need is a rebound couple,
162
00:07:55,947 --> 00:07:58,036
- a confidence booster.
- Mm-hmm.
163
00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:00,012
Right, get with someone else.
164
00:08:00,101 --> 00:08:02,103
That's what I did when I got dumped.
165
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:05,235
"Get with"? What does that mean?
166
00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:07,610
Is that like "hook up"?
What does "hook up" mean?
167
00:08:08,419 --> 00:08:09,434
KATE: Listen,
168
00:08:09,459 --> 00:08:11,607
there's a parent mixer
for my class coming up.
169
00:08:11,872 --> 00:08:13,264
You should go.
170
00:08:14,723 --> 00:08:15,767
That's a great idea.
171
00:08:15,792 --> 00:08:16,880
- What?
- What?
172
00:08:17,052 --> 00:08:18,882
Those things are full
of people so lonely
173
00:08:18,907 --> 00:08:20,517
they'll go to a parents mixer.
174
00:08:21,558 --> 00:08:23,125
We're gonna clean up.
175
00:08:23,969 --> 00:08:26,284
All right, let's get out there,
176
00:08:26,309 --> 00:08:29,007
put our beer goggles on and
see who we come home with.
177
00:08:33,829 --> 00:08:35,744
I'm a little nervous.
178
00:08:35,788 --> 00:08:37,473
Babe, we have no reason to be.
179
00:08:37,498 --> 00:08:40,238
Don and Marcy don't know
what they lost, okay?
180
00:08:40,263 --> 00:08:42,574
We're Willy Wonka and these
people just got golden tickets.
181
00:08:42,598 --> 00:08:43,643
[CHUCKLES]
182
00:08:43,668 --> 00:08:45,061
But we don't know anybody here.
183
00:08:45,086 --> 00:08:48,264
Well, I know that guy.
His name's Bob. Hey, Bob!
184
00:08:48,289 --> 00:08:49,862
I-I-I think his name is Jim.
185
00:08:49,887 --> 00:08:51,976
Hey, Jim, you seen Bob?
186
00:08:52,346 --> 00:08:54,720
You know, I think we might
be a little rusty at this.
187
00:08:54,763 --> 00:08:55,851
Come on.
188
00:08:55,876 --> 00:08:57,940
This place is full of lonely couples.
189
00:08:57,965 --> 00:08:59,246
It's a real meat market.
190
00:08:59,746 --> 00:09:02,118
Okay, well, take a seat
191
00:09:02,162 --> 00:09:04,242
- and let's do a little window shopping.
- All right.
192
00:09:05,084 --> 00:09:06,955
[SIGHS]
193
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,647
Hey.
194
00:09:08,672 --> 00:09:10,316
How about those guys?
195
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:14,258
No, nope. Not talking to a guy
who wears flip-flops after dark.
196
00:09:15,212 --> 00:09:17,005
Let's keep looking.
197
00:09:17,030 --> 00:09:19,801
[BOTH GASPING]
198
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,240
Adam!
199
00:09:21,265 --> 00:09:23,083
I'm-I'm too strong.
200
00:09:23,108 --> 00:09:25,536
S-Stick those back in there.
201
00:09:27,204 --> 00:09:28,640
Welcome to our home.
202
00:09:28,665 --> 00:09:30,843
Ah, I see you found our favorite chair.
203
00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:33,357
It's their favorite chair, Adam.
204
00:09:33,382 --> 00:09:35,253
Right, I can see why. [CHUCKLES]
205
00:09:35,278 --> 00:09:37,889
In fact, I think I might just
sit in this thing all night,
206
00:09:38,042 --> 00:09:40,610
maybe even until you
go up to bed. [CHUCKLES]
207
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,780
It was the last thing
my grandfather made
208
00:09:42,797 --> 00:09:44,277
before he passed away.
209
00:09:44,321 --> 00:09:46,540
Dead grandpa's homemade chair, Adam.
210
00:09:48,389 --> 00:09:50,000
Is that guy stealing your silverware?
211
00:09:56,085 --> 00:09:58,509
My bad. He-He's just eating.
212
00:09:59,121 --> 00:10:01,117
Nice to meet you. I'm Wally.
213
00:10:04,536 --> 00:10:06,495
[SIGHS]
214
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,261
Adam.
215
00:10:11,913 --> 00:10:14,307
I think your grandpa would
want you to have this.
216
00:10:16,570 --> 00:10:19,225
That was a long, quiet
walk to the front door.
217
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:20,539
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
218
00:10:22,299 --> 00:10:25,266
Lot of pictures of that
grandfather, too, I noticed.
219
00:10:26,936 --> 00:10:28,764
You know what the worst part is?
220
00:10:28,797 --> 00:10:30,556
I can't tell Don the story.
221
00:10:30,581 --> 00:10:32,767
He hates antiques, he
loves breaking things.
222
00:10:32,823 --> 00:10:34,283
It's perfect for him.
223
00:10:35,315 --> 00:10:37,697
Yeah, they would've
thought it was funny.
224
00:10:37,722 --> 00:10:39,594
And then we would've
thought it was funny.
225
00:10:39,774 --> 00:10:42,385
- There's no substitute for best friends.
- Mm.
226
00:10:42,410 --> 00:10:44,368
Although, these do help.
227
00:10:46,818 --> 00:10:49,308
Oh, no, there's Don and Marcy!
228
00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:50,996
With their trashy new couple.
229
00:10:51,039 --> 00:10:54,478
Look how young they
are... what a cliché.
230
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,480
Hey, guys. I'd like
you to meet our friends,
231
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:57,916
- Tina and Trevor.
- Ah.
232
00:10:57,959 --> 00:10:59,352
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.
233
00:10:59,396 --> 00:11:00,708
It's funny they're your friends.
234
00:11:00,733 --> 00:11:03,214
From far away, they look like your kids.
235
00:11:04,928 --> 00:11:06,787
That's right... too young.
236
00:11:07,936 --> 00:11:09,729
Tina's a fitness instructor.
237
00:11:09,754 --> 00:11:12,104
Poke her six pack, rock solid.
238
00:11:13,105 --> 00:11:14,846
Nah, that's okay, I'm good.
239
00:11:15,396 --> 00:11:17,790
Come on, go for it.
240
00:11:18,458 --> 00:11:20,721
All right, I'll touch her.
I don't want to be rude.
241
00:11:25,419 --> 00:11:27,790
So, this must be really hard for you
242
00:11:27,815 --> 00:11:29,720
because you're alone and we're not.
243
00:11:29,745 --> 00:11:31,269
Oh, you think we're alone?
244
00:11:31,294 --> 00:11:33,274
[CHUCKLES]: No, no. We are not alone.
245
00:11:33,299 --> 00:11:34,866
- Right, Adam?
- Right.
246
00:11:34,909 --> 00:11:37,216
Yeah, we're meeting our
new friends here, too.
247
00:11:37,611 --> 00:11:39,958
You already met somebody?
We just broke up.
248
00:11:41,259 --> 00:11:42,523
That's what happens when you let
249
00:11:42,547 --> 00:11:44,310
- the best thing in your life go.
- Mm-hmm.
250
00:11:44,531 --> 00:11:46,107
We're a catch, and we got caught.
251
00:11:46,132 --> 00:11:47,257
Mm-hmm.
252
00:11:48,994 --> 00:11:50,160
In fact, there they are.
253
00:11:50,185 --> 00:11:51,281
Hey, guys.
254
00:11:51,306 --> 00:11:52,633
Sorry we're late; we're
just talking to this
255
00:11:52,657 --> 00:11:54,586
super boring couple
over here. [CHUCKLES]
256
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,951
Well, enjoy your dinner.
Make sure they give you
257
00:11:57,976 --> 00:11:59,456
the crayons with your kids menu.
258
00:11:59,481 --> 00:12:01,084
[BOTH LAUGH]
259
00:12:02,538 --> 00:12:03,681
Are we really doing this?
260
00:12:03,706 --> 00:12:05,686
We have to. They're watching.
261
00:12:06,751 --> 00:12:08,397
BOTH: Hi!
262
00:12:12,294 --> 00:12:13,644
Do we know you?
263
00:12:13,687 --> 00:12:15,341
Not yet. [CHUCKLES]
264
00:12:15,904 --> 00:12:16,872
Look, I-I know
265
00:12:16,897 --> 00:12:19,556
this sounds crazy, but we
saw you from across the room
266
00:12:19,581 --> 00:12:22,072
and thought maybe we should be friends.
267
00:12:22,097 --> 00:12:23,403
It's not crazy.
268
00:12:23,761 --> 00:12:26,119
We're Buddhists and we believe
269
00:12:26,502 --> 00:12:28,896
the universe brought you to us.
270
00:12:35,814 --> 00:12:36,814
Uh-oh.
271
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,462
I'm Mason.
272
00:12:44,487 --> 00:12:46,546
And this is my wife, Bessica.
273
00:12:47,003 --> 00:12:48,470
I'm sorry, did you say Jessica?
274
00:12:48,495 --> 00:12:50,243
No, Bessica.
275
00:12:50,268 --> 00:12:51,806
I was born Jessica,
276
00:12:51,831 --> 00:12:54,220
but there were so many, I changed it.
277
00:12:54,245 --> 00:12:57,604
And I figured why not
be the best Jessica?
278
00:12:58,159 --> 00:12:59,596
Bessica.
279
00:13:01,022 --> 00:13:02,415
Oh.
280
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,774
Sounds like a lot of paperwork
for nothing. [CHUCKLES]
281
00:13:04,799 --> 00:13:06,383
Uh, I'm Adam and this is...
282
00:13:06,408 --> 00:13:07,626
Bandi, yeah.
283
00:13:07,651 --> 00:13:09,163
The best Andi.
284
00:13:10,299 --> 00:13:11,942
Are you guys Buddhists, too?
285
00:13:11,967 --> 00:13:13,882
[BOTH LAUGH]
286
00:13:16,346 --> 00:13:17,931
What are they talking about?
287
00:13:17,956 --> 00:13:19,666
Looks like they're talking about...
288
00:13:20,245 --> 00:13:21,581
nudists.
289
00:13:22,651 --> 00:13:24,688
Adam and I always
wanted to meet nudists.
290
00:13:24,713 --> 00:13:27,750
We have so many questions, like:
If you're talking to a nudist,
291
00:13:27,775 --> 00:13:29,536
and you're sitting down
and he's standing up,
292
00:13:29,822 --> 00:13:31,460
what are you talking to?
293
00:13:32,947 --> 00:13:33,883
So...
294
00:13:33,908 --> 00:13:35,179
what do you guys do on the weekends?
295
00:13:35,203 --> 00:13:37,203
Oh, we watch a lot of cooking shows.
296
00:13:37,228 --> 00:13:39,445
Mm-hmm, but they're all
the same, so I was thinking,
297
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,780
what about a show where you
can only cook what you kill?
298
00:13:41,805 --> 00:13:43,995
It's called Cook What You Kill.
299
00:13:45,587 --> 00:13:48,160
Sorry, we don't own a television.
300
00:13:48,185 --> 00:13:50,187
We just like to talk to each other.
301
00:13:52,961 --> 00:13:54,528
Well, call us in ten years,
302
00:13:54,553 --> 00:13:56,033
tell us how that's going.[CHUCKLES]
303
00:13:58,052 --> 00:14:00,684
So, you guys are Buddhists, huh?
304
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:02,668
What's the shortest way to explain that?
305
00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:07,738
Well, it's about everything and nothing.
306
00:14:08,331 --> 00:14:09,543
Huh.
307
00:14:09,568 --> 00:14:11,544
Jump in anytime here, Bandi.
308
00:14:11,588 --> 00:14:14,371
Okay, uh, well...
309
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,306
how does it affect your life?
310
00:14:16,627 --> 00:14:19,302
For one thing, we don't eat meat.
311
00:14:19,463 --> 00:14:21,465
Yeah, but bacon's cool, right?
312
00:14:22,307 --> 00:14:25,620
And we're enlightened,
so we don't feel anger.
313
00:14:26,331 --> 00:14:28,220
What if someone cuts you off in traffic?
314
00:14:28,245 --> 00:14:30,401
We have compassion for them.
315
00:14:30,549 --> 00:14:31,956
I have to be honest,
316
00:14:31,999 --> 00:14:33,871
you saying that makes
me feel a little angry.
317
00:14:34,995 --> 00:14:37,262
You have to learn to look at things
318
00:14:37,287 --> 00:14:39,681
through your third eye.
319
00:14:44,582 --> 00:14:45,942
You mean my butt?
320
00:14:49,067 --> 00:14:51,028
And we had to sit there for three hours
321
00:14:51,053 --> 00:14:53,738
because we couldn't leave
before Don and Marcy.
322
00:14:53,763 --> 00:14:55,205
It was a Mexican restaurant standoff.
323
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:56,621
[CHUCKLES]: Yeah.
324
00:14:59,018 --> 00:15:02,329
But on the way home, we
realized we already love you.
325
00:15:02,354 --> 00:15:04,040
And since you're dating the cat groomer,
326
00:15:04,065 --> 00:15:05,758
the four of us could be couple friends.
327
00:15:05,783 --> 00:15:07,243
Oh, that's over.
328
00:15:07,268 --> 00:15:09,369
I thought she took my
breath away, but it turns out
329
00:15:09,394 --> 00:15:11,463
I'm deathly allergic to cats.
330
00:15:14,025 --> 00:15:15,760
I found out in the ambulance.
331
00:15:17,175 --> 00:15:18,914
Well, if Lowell's out,
332
00:15:18,939 --> 00:15:20,680
that means we're gonna be alone forever.
333
00:15:20,705 --> 00:15:21,876
That's not true.
334
00:15:21,901 --> 00:15:23,742
You just have to
visualize what you want,
335
00:15:23,767 --> 00:15:24,986
and go out and get it.
336
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,697
Who's your dream couple?
337
00:15:26,722 --> 00:15:29,821
I don't know. Just someone more like us.
338
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,805
Bacon eaters.
339
00:15:32,756 --> 00:15:34,394
People who think it's funny
340
00:15:34,419 --> 00:15:36,378
- when we break old chairs.
- Yeah.
341
00:15:37,734 --> 00:15:39,261
People who, when you meet them,
342
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:41,074
you feel like you already know them.
343
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,103
So you're looking for bacon lovers
344
00:15:44,128 --> 00:15:46,728
that laugh at other
people's misfortunes,
345
00:15:46,823 --> 00:15:48,407
who you already know.
346
00:15:48,432 --> 00:15:49,729
BOTH: Yeah.
347
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,971
That's Don and Marcy.
348
00:15:54,807 --> 00:15:56,003
What?
349
00:15:56,028 --> 00:15:58,769
Don carries pocket bacon.
350
00:16:00,087 --> 00:16:03,256
And every winter, Marcy
hoses down her front walk
351
00:16:03,281 --> 00:16:05,536
- so people slip on the ice.
- Oh, yeah.
352
00:16:07,616 --> 00:16:10,271
You're looking for them.
353
00:16:11,086 --> 00:16:13,361
Oh, my God, we are.
354
00:16:14,093 --> 00:16:16,887
Yeah, and they were right in
front of us this whole time.
355
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,218
Maybe we were in a rut
356
00:16:19,243 --> 00:16:22,155
because we stopped noticing
what was so great about them.
357
00:16:22,180 --> 00:16:25,530
Guys, this is like the plot
of every romantic comedy.
358
00:16:25,555 --> 00:16:27,866
I wouldn't be surprised
if you opened that door
359
00:16:27,891 --> 00:16:29,878
and they were standing there holding
360
00:16:29,903 --> 00:16:32,297
a boombox over their heads.
361
00:16:37,224 --> 00:16:38,703
Well, it was worth a shot.
362
00:16:41,051 --> 00:16:43,620
I want our friends back.
How do we get them back?
363
00:16:43,645 --> 00:16:47,166
Well, uh, in the movies,
uh, you need a grand gesture.
364
00:16:47,191 --> 00:16:48,332
Like in The Notebook,
365
00:16:48,357 --> 00:16:52,792
Ryan Gosling wrote Rachel McAdams
a letter every day for a year.
366
00:16:53,421 --> 00:16:55,510
We don't have that kind of time!
367
00:16:57,535 --> 00:16:58,536
Ooh.
368
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:00,343
But I do have an idea.
369
00:17:00,368 --> 00:17:01,472
- Come on, come on.
- [GASPS]
370
00:17:01,496 --> 00:17:03,241
Yes, go to them.
371
00:17:03,379 --> 00:17:05,240
I'm crying because of the cat allergy,
372
00:17:05,265 --> 00:17:07,267
not because of this!
373
00:17:09,610 --> 00:17:10,829
MARCY: So now
374
00:17:10,854 --> 00:17:12,552
Adam and Andi have new couple friends
375
00:17:12,577 --> 00:17:13,682
and we're alone again.
376
00:17:13,726 --> 00:17:15,875
Well, what happened to the
broad with the iron stomach?
377
00:17:15,899 --> 00:17:18,728
She was gonna let me
hit her with a board.
378
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,102
Nah, they're out.
379
00:17:20,127 --> 00:17:21,245
They don't watch TV.
380
00:17:21,270 --> 00:17:22,556
They talk to each other.
381
00:17:22,581 --> 00:17:24,453
Sounds like they're in a cult.
382
00:17:25,469 --> 00:17:28,045
So we were thinking maybe you
could be our couple friends.
383
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:29,611
[CLEARS THROAT]
384
00:17:32,783 --> 00:17:34,001
That's a nice offer, son,
385
00:17:34,026 --> 00:17:36,681
but your mother doesn't
really care for Marcy.
386
00:17:37,793 --> 00:17:40,016
I think what your father
was trying to say is
387
00:17:40,041 --> 00:17:42,500
we've been here 20 minutes
388
00:17:42,525 --> 00:17:44,409
but it seems a lot longer.
389
00:17:45,844 --> 00:17:48,989
Yeah, well, the clock's not
ticking any faster over here, Bev.
390
00:17:49,752 --> 00:17:51,142
Well, we've insulted each other.
391
00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:53,099
I think it's time to go.
392
00:17:54,612 --> 00:17:55,780
Hey, Ma.
393
00:17:55,805 --> 00:17:58,706
Oh, nice to see you, son
who didn't marry Marcy.
394
00:17:59,963 --> 00:18:00,966
What's her deal?
395
00:18:00,991 --> 00:18:03,643
We stirred the pot, enjoy the stew.
396
00:18:06,129 --> 00:18:07,391
What are you doing here?
397
00:18:07,416 --> 00:18:08,737
Uh...
398
00:18:09,179 --> 00:18:12,629
Listen, we know you're happy
with your new couple, but...
399
00:18:13,395 --> 00:18:15,289
we went out there looking
for something better,
400
00:18:15,314 --> 00:18:17,050
and we couldn't find it.
401
00:18:18,290 --> 00:18:21,093
Well... that means a lot.
402
00:18:21,118 --> 00:18:23,578
And, to be honest, neither could we.
403
00:18:23,973 --> 00:18:27,079
Also, Marcy didn't
really hurt her ankle.
404
00:18:30,048 --> 00:18:33,038
You guys are perfect for us.
405
00:18:33,063 --> 00:18:34,067
I mean, I...
406
00:18:34,235 --> 00:18:36,461
And I guess what I'm
trying to say is, you know,
407
00:18:36,669 --> 00:18:38,106
we're just a couple
408
00:18:38,131 --> 00:18:40,438
standing in front of another couple...
409
00:18:40,779 --> 00:18:42,433
asking them to love us.
410
00:18:44,768 --> 00:18:46,378
What's that? What are we doing?
411
00:18:46,985 --> 00:18:48,342
It's from Notting Hill.
412
00:18:48,984 --> 00:18:52,514
Look... you're our
best friends and-and...
413
00:18:52,539 --> 00:18:54,958
we're sorry that we
took you for granted.
414
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:58,108
We got lazy, too.
415
00:18:58,133 --> 00:18:59,928
We could've said something instead of
416
00:18:59,953 --> 00:19:01,504
going behind your back.
417
00:19:01,529 --> 00:19:02,937
Well, you know what?
418
00:19:02,962 --> 00:19:05,577
We could all be a little
more honest with each other.
419
00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:06,886
Like, you should've told us you wanted
420
00:19:06,910 --> 00:19:09,102
- to go to Jalapeño Kevin's.
- DON: Well,
421
00:19:09,146 --> 00:19:11,081
we thought you didn't
want to try anything new.
422
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:12,673
You made fun of the jug band.
423
00:19:13,089 --> 00:19:15,058
You mean this jug band?
424
00:19:15,519 --> 00:19:16,814
You got us tickets?
425
00:19:16,839 --> 00:19:17,745
You remembered.
426
00:19:17,770 --> 00:19:19,316
Yeah, it's a grand gesture
427
00:19:19,341 --> 00:19:20,984
to show you how much you mean to us.
428
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:24,248
I got to tell you,
that touches my heart.
429
00:19:24,550 --> 00:19:27,251
Hey, you guys want to go
to Mick's and get a burger?
430
00:19:27,323 --> 00:19:29,296
Oh, that sounds great.
431
00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:30,819
So, what's new with you guys?
432
00:19:30,863 --> 00:19:32,564
Adam broke a dead guy's chair.
433
00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:34,649
Sounds funny. Save it for dinner.
434
00:19:35,191 --> 00:19:38,041
Oh, I can't wait to tell you
my new idea for a cooking show.
435
00:19:38,066 --> 00:19:40,681
Check it out... you got
to cook what you kill.
436
00:19:40,706 --> 00:19:41,923
Ooh.
437
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:43,528
You should call it Cook What You Kill.
438
00:19:43,571 --> 00:19:45,002
That's what I was thinking.
439
00:19:45,027 --> 00:19:46,159
I'm so glad we're friends again.
440
00:19:46,183 --> 00:19:47,548
We're gonna be a millionaires.
441
00:19:47,573 --> 00:19:48,954
- Whoa, "we"?
- Yeah.
442
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:51,065
- What do you mean, "we"? It was my idea.
- Well...
443
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,309
No, it was my idea...
444
00:19:52,334 --> 00:19:53,596
[CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
445
00:19:58,996 --> 00:20:01,378
Okay, now, just remember
the jug band isn't for us.
446
00:20:01,403 --> 00:20:02,399
It's for our friends.
447
00:20:02,424 --> 00:20:04,220
Right, we just want
them to have a good time.
448
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:05,550
All right? Okay.
449
00:20:06,425 --> 00:20:07,987
- Hey.
- Hey.
450
00:20:09,423 --> 00:20:11,948
[JUG BAND PLAYING]
451
00:20:11,991 --> 00:20:14,385
[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]
452
00:20:14,428 --> 00:20:16,213
That was awesome!
453
00:20:16,770 --> 00:20:18,772
Nice jugs!
454
00:20:20,765 --> 00:20:25,765
Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -
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