All language subtitles for Drinking.Games.2012.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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not a record.

♪

I wasn't there,

not for all of it...

but I'll try
to fill in the gaps.

Hello.

Hold on, Mom,
I'm losing you.

Yeah.

Hold on, Mom,
I'm losing you.

I'm in the stairwell,
I'm not getting good reception.

Hello?

Mom?

Hello?

♪

Okay, go ahead.

No, I know,
I'll see you there.

♪

What time?

♪

♪

Give me them library books!

Fuck, fuck!

It's just me, man.

Yeah,
with a fucking deadly weapon.

What--this?

No, not when it's
in its handy leather case, man.

Now it's a deadly weapon.

Richard.

What?

I'm not playing with you.

What?

Give me the library books,
motherfucker!

-Fuck, Sean!
-I'm sorry.

-Jesus Christ, I'm sorry.
-Shit.

Look, I couldn't resist,
man, come on.

Just fucking put it away.

It's fucking bad ass, isn't it?

Don't be jealous.

All right, fine, Richard,
look, look.

I'm gonna put it
underneath my bed, okay.

Okay.

I see Noopie's still out.

Maybe he's dead.

That's fucked up, bro.

So, although finals are over
for most of you,

just please remember,

that of the students
still on campus,

not all of you
are in the same boat,

and, um...

Hey, Mark,

can I borrow your attention
for just...

♪

So, I know the last night
of the term

is usually the big
Snowmageddon party, but, uh...

[laughing]

What's so funny, Mark?

♪

So they changed the name
since...

No, it's still the...?

Well, what's so funny?

♪

You know...

Look, you made it through
your first semester, okay,

and no one wants to lose
their housing

before they go home
for the holidays.

It would make
for a really sucky Christmas,

or Hanukkah--

Or Kwanzaa.

Or Kwanzaa.

You laugh,
but Kwanzaa is a real thing.

I know.

[laughing]

Well, then what's so funny?

He's just stoned,
can you finish your thing?

Stoned.

No, not like "stoned" stoned,
I didn't mean that.

♪

Like stoned on life.

[laughing]

Jesus.

You're such an idiot!

♪

What's happening?

♪

Nothing, Tom,
just finish your thing.

[laughing]

What is happening?

♪

Sean.

What is that?

It's unicorn blood.

Sean was my best friend
for 15 years.

I'm working.

Today, he's a complete stranger.

I got a special assignment
due tomorrow.

At the moment,
he is trying to convince me

that my salvation,

and his,

will come in the form
of pussy

tonight.

And it's gotta be in here

because if we go
back to her room,

she's got this girl in her room
that's in a wheelchair,

and she's like just
always around, you know,

and, like, I got nothing
against wheelchair chicks,

but, you know,
it is really not conducive

to getting naked,
you know?

Oh, shit.

Don't open yet,
don't open yet.

Don't open it.

♪

-Hey, guys.
-Hey, Tom.

So, you know there's, like,
a party tonight, right, guys?

Really?

Yeah, the, uh,
the Snowmageddon thing,

unless they changed the name.

We know, Tom.

Okay, cool.

Um, so as your RA,

I just need to sort
of go over the rules

regarding, um, parties
and stuff.

Uh, well, you know,
we've been here for months now,

we know the rules.

Oh, cool.

Yeah.

Okay, um,
it's just Sandra Ling

at Student Housing,

she just requested
I go door-to-door

and sort of review
the rules.

All right, Tom, go ahead.

It's just, it's, you know,
it's my job.

We know, man, we know.

Hey, Tom, I'm trying
to write a paper, man.

Oh, yeah,
oh, sucks.

Tell me about it.

How many pages?

Tom, what are the rules?

Oh, yeah, yeah,
okay, all right, um...

Okay, so,

these are all pretty standard.

You know, like, no drugs
or alcohol are permitted

in Willard, but, you know,
just don't let me see it.

You know, like,
if I don't have a visual--

Yeah, we've been
to the meetings, Tom.

And then there's, like,
all these, like,

little nitpicky rules
about, like, how many people

are allowed in a room.

I think it has something to do
with the fire code,

I don't know, but, uh, yeah,
there's a maximum.

-How many?
-What's the number?

Five, five people.

Four is the maximum,
five is a party room.

Okay.

But, you know, just again,

kind of keep
that stuff under wraps.

Like, what I don't see
won't kill you.

Um, I'm not a Nazi
or anything.

Tom, how many rooms do you have
to get to tonight, man?

Oh, no, it's cool man,
like half the dorm's gone

for the holidays, so...

So, there's no rush?

No.

Awesome.

Oh, also,
no weapons.

Well, that's no problem.

Yeah, anything else
is fair game.

Tom, there's nothing
about rape or murder in there?

Hmm.

I guess not,
but, I mean,

that's off limits too,
obviously.

Hey, uh, you should get
your paper done

before your party starts.

I'm not partying tonight, Tom.

It's Snowmageddon.

Sean and I are gonna keep
the room off limits,

right, Sean?

But even the Asian guys
in the MMMS program

are decorating their rooms.

And then there's...

us.

Anyway, you know, like,

let me know
if you change your mind.

-All right, thanks, Tom.
-Cool, man.

All right,
I'll catch you cats later.

See ya.

Thanks, Tom.

Thank you.

It's my room too.

Richard, can't you get
an extension, man,

for one day,
for me?

I can't.

You can't or you won't?

I wonder if there
was a way that I could, uh,

express this that you might
understand better.

What would Yoda do
in a situation like this?

What?

No, I'm just thinking

about how you bailed
on Star Wars

to hang out with Noopie.

I'm very sorry that I missed

our traditional
birthday circle jerk, Richard,

but come on, man,
I hate the new Star Wars.

They suck.

They're affront
to our entire childhood.

They're affront
to movie history.

I am not gonna sit
around watching

fucking Jar Jar Binks
in a tiny dorm room with you

on a Saturday night
in college, bro.

Come on, I wasn't trying to be
a dick or anything, all right,

but--but you know what,
fuck it.

I would go back
and do it all over again,

'cause that was the night
that I met Erin

and we fell madly in love.

I thought you were
madly in love with Noopie.

What was that, Richard?

Nothing.

What's he doing
in our room?

Oh, beast,
listen, last night,

Chi Fi basement foam party, man.

I'm there with Erin,
dancing, grinding, man,

and I got, like, this sort
of, like, half a chub going

up and down
in between her cheeks, right,

and she's pretending
that she doesn't notice it,

but, it's bullshit, you know,
girls love that shit.

You know, that way they can
pretend that they're still pure

while riding dick all night.

Just because there's a layer
of denim

between my junk and your junk,

does not mean
you're not riding dick.

You are riding dick, you know?

Who we kidding?

I'm digressing, but--

You sure know a lot
about chicks for a vir--

Richard, don't jinx it
for me, okay.

I'm gonna remain a v-word
for like another month

if I can't close
in on this tonight.

Can I continue?

Please.

Thank you.

So, out of nowhere, man,

who pops up from underneath
the frothy sea of foam?

A shark!

No, man,
fucking Noopie pops up, man,

and he's got, like,
this smoking hot Si Si chick

straddling him,
and they're like--

I don't know, they're, like,
doing this--I don't know,

I don't wanna call it freaking
but--

you remember freaking man?

It was like this, like,

pow,

pow.

I've never freaked, Sean.

It's not freaking, it's like
this kinda like--

pow, pow.

Richard, Richard,
is there a name for this?

I don't know,
dry humping?

Anyway, so I was like,
"Yo, Noop, man,

tomorrow night,
Snowmageddon."

And his eyes went like--
ping!

Because he was like, fucking,
he told me once

that he--he hooked
up with, like,

this record number of chicks

in his freshman year
at that party,

like seriously hooked up,

like with a record-breaking
number of chicks--

Like Guinness Book
of Records or--

Whatever, whatever,
he had, like, some kind of orgy

or something, all right?

So I was like,
"Yo, Noop, man, slow it down.

Save it
for the main event tomorrow."

And he was like,
"Fuck that, I'm sleeping

on your floor tonight, bro.

I hear there's a major fucking
storm coming through,

and I wanna skip
this storm bullshit all together

and wake up right at the party."

And, Richard,
you have to admit,

that's fucking clever.

Yeah, it's brilliant.

You know,
he's been laying there all day.

It's fucking creepy.

I hope he didn't piss himself.

Piss himself, no, man,
that's not his style.

Well, Sean, pissing yourself
is not really a style choice.

A scarf, or like, a hat
is a style choice,

but if he pissed himself,

most likely it happened

because he's
a fucking derelict drunk

who you dragged back here
without even asking me.

Well, no,
that's the thing, Richard.

I maxed out at like three AM.

I left Noopie
at that frat party.

So...

how did he get here?

Dude, man,

whatever's going on here
with you, like,

you need to relax, man,

unclench your sphincter.

Are you aware that college
is not like high school, man?

We can't get in trouble
for having fun anymore.

I mean, we are living
with women

with sexual appetites
and time to kill.

I mean, we're living with women
in their pajamas.

They go to class
in their pajamas.

They go to dinner
in their pajamas.

They party
in their pajamas.

Richard, they're like
always ready for bed.

You're not embracing
the opportunities

that are right here.

What the hell
are you talking about?

Melanie.

We're--we're good friends, Sean.

You need to talk
to Noopie, man.

That guy's an expert on women.

He'll get you
out of the friend zone

into the fuck zone.

All right, listen.

What,
what's the matter with you?

Look, I'm not going
after Melanie

because last week,
my mom called--

[phone rings]

What?

Fucking Giordano's, man,
takes forever.

Hello.

Picking up.

You made someone
walk through a blizzard

to bring you a pizza?

It's Giordano's pizza, man,
what's wrong with you?

Can you hear me, Noopie?

Noopie?

Wakey, wakey, Noopie.

It's time to get up.

Can you hear me?

You're a clown, Noopie.

You're a fucking clown.

[phone rings]

Hello.

Well, maybe you
shouldn't be spending it all

on hunting knives and gin.

Yeah, yeah, I've got cash.

Yeah, I always have cash

in case emergency situations
present themselves, like this.

That's why you called me.

I'm not bitter.

♪

Fucking clown.

♪

♪

Noopie was a...

black hole.

♪

People...

disappeared in him.

♪

[belches]

[typing]

♪

I'm just saying, man,

you should have money
for gin and pizza

if you wanna buy
gin and pizza.

Listen, man,
if I give you a slice,

will you shut
up about the money?

Sean.

What?

Where's Noopie?

Whoa, I don't know.

There's only one way
out of this building, right?

It's the magic of Noopie, man.

It's the magic of Noopie.

"Geek."

Hmm?

It just says "geek"
right in the middle of my paper.

♪

Yeah, it does.

Okay, well, he woke up,
he called you a geek,

and then he vanished.

The guy's fucking magical.

[loud burp]

[laughing]

See what I mean?

I insist.

Tonight's gonna be
fucking rock star, man.

We are going
to fucking make it rain.

Rain.

[makes sizzling sound]

Yo, Noopie, man, you gotta tell
me what happened last night

with that foreign chick, please.

I don't know her name, man,
but that skinny one--

Cossack slut?

I had no idea
what her name was.

She was
a Czech exchange student.

I called her Svetlana,
she corrected me,

called her Svetlana,
gave her a bump of coke,

she stopped correcting me.

Beast.

She went through, like,
a fist full of blow.

I had to call my guy
and get a special delivery,

got her back to my room, like,
five in the fucking morning,

she couldn't stop
her nose bleeds,

so, no Czech poon.

Gross.

I don't strike out.

Coulda used you there, man.

To do what?

Sop up a nose bleed?

Nah, help me ease
those panties off.

Girls,

they find you
completely non-threatening.

You're my
secret weapon, Flounder.

What is Flounder?

Flounder is my new nickname.

-Flounder?
-Yeah, Flounder.

It's 'cause I--I'm starting
to find my way in life now.

♪

I think it's cool.

You know what's not cool,
Flounder?

What?

This.

This is not cool.

Dude, we can make, like,
gin and juice or gin and tonic--

You gotta walk past rum,
tequila, and whiskey

to get to this shit.

I entrust you
with buying the party lube

and you come back
with a plastic, two-liter bottle

of this horse sweat?

Money's a little tight
right now, so...

Oh, yeah,
how's that pizza, Flounder?

Shut up, Richard!

This is some rookie shit.

♪

I'm getting pretty sick

of this rookie shit.

What, man?

I'm just fucking with you!

Seriously, man, we gotta step
up your game a little bit.

Chicks only fuck
major leaguers.

Triple-A rides the pine
like what's-his-face over there.

I see what you're saying--

Can you fucking clowns
take this outside?

Snowmageddon, Chachi,
study time's over.

Uh, Noopie,
can I talk to you for a second?

W-T-Fuck, Flounder?

It appears that we can't use
this particular room.

Your room?

My room.

Tonight?

Tonight.

Because?

Because Richard needs
to finish a paper first.

Fuck that.

No, no fucking way.

I mean, how the fuck
am I supposed to fuck

without some fucking privacy?

I mean, me,
I don't give a fuck,

but the fucking tight-ass,
prude-ass freshmen

that live here...

yeah, they don't wanna lose
their hymens

in the hallway, man.

Life of the big game tonight,
man, the first timers.

That's why I'm even here.

Collectin' v-cards
like scouts, motherfucker.

I know, man, but whatever, man,
we can still have fun, right?

Fun?

Man, you call drinking crap,
bottom shelf,

no disrespect,
shitty gin,

and maybe,
now this is a stretch,

maybe getting a HJ,
or, God willing, a BJ, fun?

I wouldn't mind a BJ.

Mm-mm.

I been there, done that.

Yeah, well I haven't so much,

you know, so,
looking forward to that.

-You really want a BJ?
-Yeah.

Pull down your pants.

What?

Pull down your pants.

I will give you a BJ.

Noop, are you serious right now?

Sure, man, why not?

I could think of a reason.

Noopie, I don't--I don't--

I'm just fucking
with you, dude.

Damn.

What about what's-her-name?

You like her, right?

Yeah, I do, yeah.

It's been a while,
you got up in that yet?

Her name's Erin.

That's awesome.

Have you got
up in that yet?

Well, I mean,
we kissed a lot,

and, you know,
it's mostly over the clothes,

you know, and some side boob,
but, you know--

Sean's still a virgin.

And you aren't, Richard!

Okay.

Where to start?

[clears throat]

Here's where to start,
with the booze.

Let's get what's-her-face
down here.

Erin.

Pour some gin down her throat.

Awesome.

This is not gonna be
a party room--

It's a pre-party room, geek.

Richard, come on, man,
we can't have one drink here?

-Come on.
-One drink's gonna turn into...

Flounder, Flounder.

To the pussy mobile.

Yes, sir.

[door slams]

This isn't gonna be
a party room, man.

I know.

Then why are you setting
up for a party?

What ya doin' here?

Writin' a paper?

Finals are...

over, this some sort of
special assignment?

I have to piss.

Don't lock the door, okay,

for Sean.

[locks door]

[light tapping on door]

I'm trying to write
a fucking paper, man.

[light tapping continues]

Melanie.

I was trying
to be quiet.

Come in,
I'm so sorry.

Sit down.

No, thank you.

Uh, okay.

I'm leaving tomorrow
for the break.

Cool, you, uh,
you excited to get back?

What?

I've been sitting in my room
all day pretending to pack,

waiting for you
to come over to apologize,

or to talk to me,

or see me.

Did I do something wrong?

My father collapsed last week

and he's going in

for open-heart surgery tomorrow.

Oh, my God.

And I'm going home to help out.

I'm so sorry.

I'm not,
he brought it on himself.

I'm just going home
to help everyone else.

You'll take a leave of absence?

I'm not coming back.

Look,
I decided a month ago, okay?

It just--it took forever to get
the paperwork and the tuition--

Wait a minute,
if you knew you were leaving,

why did you spend the night?

Why did you let me do that?

Tell the truth.

When you found
out about your dad,

part of you was happy.

Well, if I'm never
gonna see you again,

I'm gonna be honest with you.

Look, if you wanna pin this
on me being a pussy, fine,

but you're wrong.

What do you think
is going to change

when you get back home?

What will be fixed?

Will you go back in time?

You'll be older,
they'll be older.

You'll be...

walking around like an alien
in the wrong world or something.

Where are you going?

Knew it!

Oh, for real, you guys
gonna be hanging out tonight?

Where's Richard?

Probably washing his vagina.

Your room is huge.

♪

♪

There's no smoking in here, man.

You know what, Richard?

Just because you're--

just because you're miserable

doesn't mean
that I have to be, too.

I'm not going
out in that snow, man.

This is why I skipped
that Star Wars shit, man.

Just gonna sit around watching--

There's no smoking in here, man.

Laughing
at the same fucking line,

hanging out
with the same fucking people.

-What's wrong?
-Nothing's wrong.

Where's your drink?

I drank it.

We gotta get you another one.

Noopie.

Hey, can I bum a cigarette?

♪

-Dude, I'm gonna remember that.
-No, you're not.

Richard, why don't you
just chill the fuck out?

Because I don't fucking--

Flounder!

-What the fuck?
-Shit!

I'm sorry, man.

Turn off that fucking music.

-What?
-Just turn it off.

I'm sorry, man, it's fine,
your computer's okay.

What were you thinking, man?

It was an accident.

Let me show you my side.

♪

[knocking on door]

Who is it?

Uh, it's Tom.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Tom.

Hey, so, um, I don't mean
to bother you guys,

but your music was pretty
loud a minute ago.

Yeah, you know, we were thinkin'
the exact same thing,

so we just adjusted the volume
accordingly.

Oh, okay.

Cool.

Um.

Yes, Tom?

It's just that,
I thought that you said

your room would not be
designated a party room

and I already put it down
in the log.

They were just leaving.

Yeah, I initialed
the entry.

Everyone's leaving, even me.

Okay, cool, 'cause I count,
like, you know,

one, two, three, five people
in here.

We know, Tom.

I'll leave.

That's four.

Okay, cool, that's four.

That's the maximum.

Everyone else is leaving, too.

Okay, very cool.

Sorry, guys.

Hey, do I know you?

Nope.

Oh, there's no smoking
in the dormitories, man.

Fuck your mother.

Hey, man, I'm an RA!

Freedom of speech, bitch.

Oh, Tom, don't worry
about him.

I'll take care of him later.

It's just...

It's my job, you know?

Yeah, we know, Tom.

It's cool.

Hey, I don't make
the rules, man.

We know.

Oh, if you guys wanna
stop by later,

I've got like a bunch
of fun-sized Three Musketeers

and Snickers,
like Halloween-sized treats.

We'll do that, Tom.

Okay.

Cool.

We'll, I've gotta get back
to rounds.

Sandra Ling from student
housing,

she said she's probably gonna
check in on everybody, so.

Hey, what are you smearing
on their door, Jonathan?

Did they ask you to do that?

So, I guess Melanie
was helping you type?

Got yourself a little
secretary now?

You know, this is exactly why
I said no from the beginning.

You almost destroyed
my computer.

Well, luckily, it was closed,
Richard,

which musta made writing
your paper kinda hard, huh?

You know, man,
Noopie told me, man,

Noopie said that we should
check one more time.

He said that you had a bottle
of Champagne stashed away

and that the door was closed.

He said we should check
one more time.

That fucking degenerate.

You know how long
I tried with you, man?

You have any idea how long
I've tried with you?

Man, you have no idea
what you're talking about.

I have eyes, Richard.

Stop treating me like
I'm a stupid baby retard!

Well, stop acting like
a stupid baby retard!

I'm not gonna apologize
for tryin' to have fun

in college, man.

You know,
I was happy for you.

I was happy for you there
for a second

'cause you weren't taking
yourself so seriously.

You were trying to make
a move on that girl.

Move, Shawn, what are you
in some '80s rom-com?

Look, I was trying to write

and then Melanie shows up
in tears

because after we hooked up,

and, yes,
we did sleep together,

I bailed.

You know why?

Not because I'm an asshole,

because my fucking dad
just had a fucking heart attack.

And I hate it here

and I'm leaving for good.

And I was trying to explain
all of that to someone

who I think I'm in love with
in the seven minutes of peace

that I've had since
you started hanging out

with that fucking derelict.

But I didn't get to say any
of it because you just

couldn't wait to start
pounding gin.

Because you're too much
of a pussy to just

fuck your fucking girlfriend.

How's that for wisdom?

Noopie tell you any
of that shit?

What are you doing?

What the fuck's it look like?

You're an asshole.

[water running]

Where's the fun vacuum?

He's takin' his tampon out?

Yeah, yeah.

You know, we shouldn't really--

That guy sucks.

Yeah, well, but whatever,
you know, next year

I'll probably be living
with Noopie,

so I won't have to deal
with him.

Right, Noopie?

Absolutely.

Yeah, bang.

What was that?

That's makin' it rain, baby.

Rain what?
Making what--

Pledge.

Hey, Erin.

You know who has two thumbs
and really digs your style?

This guy right here.

You're so goofy.

Hey, maybe we should
get going, I'm ready.

I'm kinda buzzed
and stuff, you know?

Oh my God.

I totally forgot.

What?

The super secret
special surprise.

What is it?

Oh, nothin', just,
somethin' no Snowmageddon

should be without.

What, what is it?

Erin, I wish I could tell ya.

But, we've had our one drink,

and now we have
to leave the room.

Right, Shawn?

I mean, we don't have
to leave the room.

Richard said.

You know what, guys,
fuck Richard.

Boom goes the dynamite.

Holy shit.

A shitload of smack.

You just been carryin' that
around in your underwear

or something?

Remember that Czech slut
I was tellin' ya about?

Turns out her boyfriend
is a fuckin' townie kingpin.

That's gonna be my band name.

Shut the fuck up, Pledge.

You stole that from her?

I commandeered it.

Citizen's arrest.

You told me that you
called up your guy,

the special delivery guy.

No, no, no.

She went to her
boyfriend's nightstand.

Wait, you were in a townie
house last night?

Noopie, I thought you said
you took her--to your room?

Hell no.

With those nose bleeds?

I grabbed the bag and bolted.

I'm not gonna bring some
herpes-ridden chick

war bride back there.

Now, Pledge,
there's a band name.

Nah, doesn't have the same pop
as townie kingpin.

[water running]

I never tried coke before.

Is it serious?

No, it's not too rough.

You've tried it?

I've heard that
it's not too rough.

Mickie, what's cocaine like?

Oh, dude, awesome.

All right, let's just be quick
though because--

All right, give me
a credit card.

I have a debit card.

Come on, bro.

What?

I'm not charging you
for the cocaine, dumbass.

I need to cut it.

♪

♪

Jesus.

How'd you get all that, man?

I was on a roll, brother.

I told you he was
a townie kingpin.

This is fuckin' surreal.

It is awesome.

Blast suck.

I'm so nervous.

What?

Blast suck.

Power suck.

Is my head gonna explode?

Oh my God, I'm so scared.

♪

Shit.

Hey, hey, man.

Hey.

Uh, listen.

Get the fuck out.

Listen, listen, listen,
we were gonna finish up

and go before you got back,
'cause I know you take

long showers, you know?

Like a bitch.

Does anybody hear me?

Do you hear me,
get the fuck out.

Man, please, don't be
hostile, man.

These are my fuckin'
friends and guests, please.

Man, I'm wet and naked
and need to change

in my Goddamn room
and write my Goddamn paper.

-I know.
-It's your room, too, Shawn.

-It's my room, too.
-There's nowhere else I can go.

There's nowhere else
I can go, man.

Saw some outlets
in the bathroom, man.

What?

There's outlets
in the bathroom, man.

So why don't you take the party
into the fucking bathroom?

Ridiculous.

What are you doing?

Just go, man.

Just go, go work.

♪

Shit, man, that was intense.

♪

♪

Yo.

-Red.
-What?

Shawn here tells me
you got some hot friends.

I'm wonderin' where they are.

Everybody's gone.

Bullshit.

You got at least one friend
hangin' out.

My friend Kennedy's here,
but she sucks.

She DTF?

Please, no.

Hey!

You gonna call her?

Yeah, sure, whatever.

♪

I feel like--I kinda feel like
my heart is gonna like burst

outta my rib cage and start
doin' some break dancing

on the floor.

You're welcome.

[laughing]

♪

Whoa, whoa, Pledge.

Horse race.

♪

Oh, shit, man.

♪

I feel like I'm coming home.

This room, it's like
an incubator.

Like, there's all of this
noise outside,

and it's like cold and dark.

But this party, it's
like a little baby.

No, this room is a womb.

We're witnessing the birth
of something.

♪

Note to self.

Get more push pins.

Note to self, get replacement
push pin for snowflake.

All right, do it to it,
little man.

Life is changing.

Gathering momentum.

Our whole world is changing.

I wanna wake up every morning
fuckin' excited

about what's gonna
happen next.

Like suicide.

Why choose that for yourself
when all you have to do

is open your eyes
and look and see

the color and the life
and the energy?

There's so much cool shit.

And there's so much, you know?

It's like way more than
we'll ever be able

to experience,
and it sucks.

It makes me wanna like stay
up all night

just reading books,
you know?

Yeah, yeah, some people
don't know how to live.

Yo, Red, are you gonna
call your girl?

Where's she at?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

You know what this is?

You know what this is, guys?

Right now,

kids as adults.

Yes, kids as adults!

Like all the freedom
and power of an adult,

but we get to play
and have fun and live.

I love this.

Consider yourselves cleansed.

That's another thing!

Friends!

Friendship.

All you guys right now
make this moment.

In this moment, right now,
fuck the virtual world.

Fuck Facebook.

We're real.

Facebook doesn't have veins.

Facebook doesn't have
a heartbeat.

Facebook doesn't have a soul.

I'm not gonna delete
my Facebook account,

but this--this is
the righteous fellowship

of souls communicating.

Like a vibration.

It's like a smell,
you can smell it.

All of us is like this
one great potential.

We could totally rule the world.

Us.

[sniffing]

♪

♪

It didn't have to be this way.

Richard could rule the world
with us.

Pledge.

♪

Open your mouth.

♪

All right, close your mouth.

♪

Did I fuckin' tell
you to swallow?

Open your mouth.

♪

Now, hold fuckin' still.

All right, keep it closed.

And don't fuckin' swallow
this time.

I'm gonna make a cocktail.

He's gonna explode!

Whoa, hey come on, man.

[laughing]

Hey, come on, man.

Whoa!

[vomiting]

Oh, shit.

[coughing]

That was perfectly good
Capri Sun, Pledge.

Richard's gonna lose
his shit.

Fuck that, flip it over.

What?

Flip it over.

Flip what over?

The bedspread.

That'll ruin the sheets.

Who pulled your string?

Hey, you know what,
fuck it.

Yes, it's a party,
shit happens.

It's a party, motherfuckin'
shit happens.

One more line?

All right.

One more line.

Pledge.

Yeah?

Bitch, I'm not offering
you a line.

Entertain me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I lost my thought there
for a second.

♪

You see, I'm here
talkin' to ya,

but also at the same time,

I'm thinkin' these thoughts
in my head.

And the word's I'm sayin',
they're on a totally

different plane that I have
no control over.

And I'm watchin' it all
spiral down

through people
into another dimension.

♪

And it's weird.

♪

I feel like dancing.

So dance, motherfucker.

♪

I think I'll just dance
in my head to save calories.

♪

I'm in the fucking Matrix
right now, man.

Uh-oh.

You okay, man?

Booster shot.

Keanu Reeves.

♪

Pledge, why do you wanna
be in the frat?

I'm a Tri Chi, man.

Whoa!

Shit.

♪

No one's gonna rip you down
this time.

I promise.

[pounding]

[muffled yelling]

What, there's more puke?

Fuck off.

He's fine.

Come on, boy.

Come on.

Wake up, Pledge.

[slap]

Dude, what the fuck
are you doing?

Shh.

Wake up, Pledge!

[slapping]

♪

Shawn, can you get the door?

Where are you going?

♪

Shawn?

What?

Door.

Yeah.

♪

[knocking]

Who is it?

It's Tom.

Hey, could you guys open
the door for a minute?

I can't deal with this
right now.

Maybe if we're all quiet,

he'll just go away.

[knocking]

Fuck.

Do you want me
to take care of this?

You mean--yeah, yeah, yeah,
just do it, do it, do it.

What are you gonna do?

Some Jedi shit.

Tom, right?

Yeah.

Come on in, man.

Yeah, okay.

Look, guys, all right,
I think I'm gonna have to go

call this a party room now.

I'll change it in the log.

It's not a big deal.

Yeah, sure, man, whatever.

That's cool.

Okay, um...

also, why does
your white board

say no fat chicks?

That was me.

Why?

Well, someone wrote
some gay shit, so,

I replaced it with some
not gay shit.

Okay.

It's just that can be
construed as hate speech,

and all of the residents halls
have been deemed hate free zone.

I'll erase it, Tom.

Bullshit, you will.

You want a bunch of fat
chicks comin' in here?

Drinkin' our hooch,
eatin' our snacks.

That's really inappropriate.

Did you say hooch?

Yeah.

Yeah, we have gin.

[coughing]

I can't say I didn't see
all this stuff, man.

This is like
an automatic write-up.

I'm gonna have to confiscate it.

I should call university police.

Tom, Tom.

You don't wanna do that.

I see that hair.

All that flannel.

You want a line?

No, I don't.

Here, Tom.

Have a line, on me.

No, man.

You tellin' me you've never
done cocaine before?

That's not pertinent
to this scenario, man.

All you had to do was
hide it from me.

I'm gonna lose my scholarship.

And Sandra Ling from student
housing, she said she was

probably gonna come in
and check on everybody

and--I don't know,
she's new, man.

And I feel like she thinks
she has somethin' to prove

or something, I don't know,
just put everything

in a backpack and let
me call UP, man,

'cause I--don't like
confrontations, man.

♪

♪

I'm really sorry, guys.

Sandra Ling, man.

I'm gonna go to the restroom.

I'll get a wet paper towel,
and we can get that up.

Stop!

Stop!

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Yeah, steal my coke now,
you little bitch.

What the hell did you
just do, man?

Dude, he's fine.

He's fine, how long is
he gonna be out like that?

Long enough to stuff
him in a closet.

What?

What else you wanna
do with him?

I have no idea.

Look, Shawn, this is not nearly
as bad as it seems, okay?

It could've been
so much worse.

How?

How, I could've killed him.

I could've, but I didn't.

♪

What happens when he wakes
up, man?

Are you gettin' fresh with me?

No--

Then grab his fuckin' feet.

♪

♪

Is that it?

♪

♪

Stand up straight.

You're posture's terrible.

♪

This is the plan?

I mean, his room is like right
across the hall, you know?

We could at least put him
in his own bed

or something, I don't know.

And how are we gonna lock him
in his own room?

You wanna lock him in here?

No, I want him to wake up
and call the cops

so he can ruin our party
some more.

♪

What's that?

Forget-a-lots.

What?

The devil's tic tacs.

What are you talking
about, man?

Are you fucking stupid?

It's a roofie.

What the fuck, you just carry
that shit around in your pocket?

It's a fuckin'
Friday night, Shawn.

♪

Anyone have a key
to this room?

No, just Tom.

Bingo.

♪

Oh, hey, don't anybody
step in that.

I'm gonna come back for it.

♪

[panting]

Thanks, Mom.

So that happened.

What happened?

What are you doing?

Gymnastics, what does it look
like I'm doin'?

Since when do you smoke?

Why are you looking at me
like that?

I hate cigarettes.

They make everyone smell
like death.

Are you kidding me?

What?

My first memory of you
is like emerging from this fog

of cigarette smoke
at this party.

I didn't even smart smoking
until I saw you doing it.

You made it look sexy
with your lips around the...

I'm like up to a pack a day
now because of that imagery.

You're tellin' me you're
done smoking?

I was just trying it.

It was like a thing, you know?

You know, I bummed my first
cigarette to stand next to you.

Ew, I didn't know that.

Why didn't you just come
talk to me?

I don't know, and what,
and say what?

I had no idea you were like--

So what?

What, I'm just tryin'
to open up here.

Look, you want me to put
this out or somethin'?

All right, look, here,
give me one.

No, forget it,
the sexiness is gone.

We've built it up too much.

Oh, God.

Just, give it to me.

Is this sexy enough for you?

Are you making fun of me?

I'm trying to turn you on.

Stop yelling at me.

Don't tell me what to do.

Nobody tells me what to do
anymore.

"I owe you a million sorries."

What?

Not you.

"I owe you a million sorries,
and I can't even find

the courage to offer one."

What are you doing?

Shut up for a second,
listen to this.

I've never been
with a girl before.

Holy shit,
listen to this.

"The last two months have
slowly worn me down.

Maybe it's school,
maybe it's Sha--

Maybe it's Shawn."

Fuck that.

"Maybe it's me."

Yeah, you think?

Is that Richard's?

This is exactly what I'm talking
about, this cry baby shit, man.

Life is hard,
buck the fuck up.

Why are you yelling at me?

"I'm not apologizing
for sleeping with you

because I wanted to
and you wanted to.

You said, 'This is okay'
and I said, 'Okay.'

And then, all of a sudden,
it's five a.m.

and I'm still naked...

and the sun is coming in,
and I realize you're

the first person
to see me naked

in my entire adult life.

♪

I start wondering if I'm allowed
to be naked in your room

because they don't mention it

in the orientation pamphlets,
you know.

I don't mean, like,
there must be rules about this.

I just mean
it's undefined territory for me.

People tell you college
is the best four years

of your life,
and they wink,

and you know what they mean,

but they never say anything
about, okay,

when you wake up naked
in broad daylight

next to your first girlfriend,

here's how to gracefully exit.

And for some reason,
naked in daylight

feels so much more naked
than naked at three a.m.

But I don't mind.

I ran because
I need to finish finals,

and I need to pack,
and I need to get ready

to leave this place for good."

♪

"I'm sorry.

I'm sorry because
I knew I was leaving

and I didn't want
to tell you

because I wanted to be able
to come back

even though I'll never
come back."

♪

"You have a secret, you said,
and so do I.

Well, here's mine,
and it sucks,

and I'm sorry."

♪

What?

♪

It's really pretty.

I'm going outside
for a smoke.

[thud]

[door slamming shut]

[indistinct conversations]

Melanie.

What do you want?

Can we please talk?

I can run, too, see?

Can you--can you stand still?

No.

How does it feel?

Look, I--I get it,
you can stop.

No you don't, Richard.

We were friends first.

We were friends.

I still wanna be friends.

-Then don't lie to me.
-I'm not.

You're lying right now.

If we were friends,
you wouldn't hide from me.

And then you wouldn't
come find me

only to lie to me.

♪

I--I don't know
what words to use.

I--I--I don't know,
I just...

I went looking for them.

You went and hid
like a scared little girl

while I sat there waiting.

-I--
-Again.

-I wanna be your friend.
-From 300 miles away?

While I go to school
and you do what?

I don't know.

♪

-That's not an answer.
-It's the truth.

I know what you want,

but the world doesn't
wait for you.

You don't get to say when.

♪

[faint white noise]

[woman speaking German]

[door creaking]

Hey, bitch,
are you wasted?

Not really.

[groaning]

I just got done rockin' out
with Brian and the Phi Pis.

They made me finish
this Goldschlaäger.

It has real gold flakes in it.

Like, they told me that
it would make me shit gold.

I think it's bullshit.

But...can you imagine?

How awesome would that be?

To be able to trade in
my shit for UGGs,

or, like, a car.

Uhh, Brian was wasted.

He's so into me,
which is awesome.

He starts
pushing my head down,

and then his friends
jump out of the fucking closet.

So I pretended to cry
and, like, ran out, and like...

got halfway home and realized
that he wasn't there,

and I was like,
"What the fuck?"

But, like, he's probably
gonna text me at, like,

four in the morning
to make me come back, so...

I love him.

So where's all this coke
that you texted me about?

On the floor, I think.

Holy shit, man.

Who are you?

Yo, Red, who's the new girl?

Kennedy, like the famous one.

John?

-Jamie.
-Ohh...

♪

I like you.

♪

Ew, this guy's creepy.

♪

Erin, you girls
ever kiss before?

Noopie, don't be weird.

♪

It's just a question.

Look...

I'll go first.

♪

I've never kissed your friend
Jamie Kennedy.

♪

Have you ever kissed Erin?

♪

[laughing]

Maybe.

Shut up, Kennedy.

I dare ya.

♪

Shut up.

♪

Are you scared
to kiss a girl?

What are you scared of?

I've kissed a girl before.

Really?

Erin, how long you been
in college?

You've never kissed a girl?

No.

I dare you.

Fuck that, I'm not scared.

She is.

♪

I'm not scared.

I'm tired and have a headache.

♪

I bet you never
fucked a girl before.

How do you know?

♪

I like your glasses.

♪

I can't tell
if you're making fun of me.

♪

How crazy would it be
to fuck a girl?

♪

Have you ever thought about it?

I'm 19, of course
I've thought about it.

♪

Yeah, but...

would you?

You wouldn't even
take off your bathing suit

in the hot tub.

♪

There's no way
you'd hook up with a girl.

-I have, too.
-Who?

Some girl from high school,
you don't know her.

You got naked with chicks
in a hot tub?

You little slut.

I don't know.

Hey, why are we even
talking about this?

What about tonight?

My first time's not gonna
be with some girl.

♪

You're right, Red.

You know, you should
take it easy your first time.

I had these friends
rush into it,

Zack and Kelly.

♪

They got so awkward afterwards.

Yeah, so...

On the other hand,
it is college.

Now, you can't tell me
you're never gonna

hook up with a girl.

Your friend here is down.

[chuckling]

The door is closed.

Ew, Noopie, don't be weird.

♪

What?

♪

What?

♪

How many chances do we get?

And how many times
do we end up here?

♪

Sometimes...

you just gotta do.

♪

Just gotta stop thinkin', and...

just...

do.

I bet you put
a bunch of roofies in here.

♪

Would I do this?

♪

♪

[giggling]

♪

What the hell
are you guys doing?

♪

Did you see that, man?

Coulda had fun with that.

♪

Get out.

♪

Get out.

♪

Where's my phone?

Get out of my room, please!

Oh my God.

♪

Psycho much--Jesus.

♪

[door slamming]

I liked her.

♪

[cracking thud]

♪

[sighing]

♪

[thud]

♪

♪

[pounding on door]

Where is Richard?

♪

♪

Who are you?

♪

You're not gonna remember
anything I tell ya.

Who are you?

♪

I'm Tom Cruise.

What?

It's me, Spiderman.

♪

Can you take me to my room?

Legally speaking,

that is consent.

Where's Richard?

Where did Richard go?

You're not making any sense,
take another sip.

♪

Look at me.

♪

Look at me.

I wanted to say
goodbye to Richard, and...

I'm not gonna get
to say goodbye.

Sometimes
it's better that way.

No, it's not.

♪

I wanna say goodbye.

♪

Are you Richard's friend?

[chuckling]

I don't even go to school here.

Fuck Richard.

Don't say that.

I wanted him to be permanent.

♪

Right now,

things are a little fucked up.

Well...

they're a lot fucked up.

I wish we could meet in 10 years
for the first time.

♪

What?

Who are you?

I'm scared.

♪

Me too.

I'm scared it's too late
to start over.

It's not too late.

Have you ever just wanted
to rip off your skin

and start all over?

Sometimes, I...

pray that I'll...

wake up and...

get to do it all over.

♪

That ain't gonna happen.

I know.

So we have to live
in this fucked-up world.

♪

Yeah.

♪

Or we don't.

♪

♪

What do you wanna do?

♪

♪

[wind blowing]

Oof!

[wind blowing]

Jump.

[wind blowing]

I heard you have
blow in here, man.

Do you have any coke
in here or what?

Huh.

Well, I got somethin'
better than coke.

Too bad nothing
is better than coke.

Huh.

[clearing throat]

That's fuckin' good.

Hmph.

[laughing]

What are you doing?

You want some coke or not?

Seriously, what is she doing?

She's gonna jump out the window.

Holy shit.

I know.

Why?

It's complicated.

-What are you doing?
-Shh!

Don't shush me, fag.

[grunting]

♪ Britney's song was on

Fuck.

♪ Britney's song was on

You fuckin' laugh at me.

♪

♪

[panting]

♪

[phone beeping]

Talk to me, goose.

♪

♪

Okay, hold on, Melanie.

Hold on.

I'm gonna get you
out of here, all right?

Gonna get you to the hospital.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Just hold on.

[door slamming]

We'll get there.

I just need to get you
down the stairs.

Okay?

Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

I'm so fucking sorry.

Let's do this
real slow, okay?

We're gonna have to go
down the stairs.

♪

Ohh!

God!

♪

Ow!

♪

Hold on, I'm gonna get you
out of here, all right?

Gonna get you to the hospital.

Everything's gonna be okay.

♪

Uhh...

ooh...

♪

[panting]

[banging on door]

Tom, Tom!

I'm comin' for ya.

♪

Okay, here it is,
here it is, yes.

♪

Stop, Noopie, stop!

Tom!

RA!

Stop it, Noopie.

I'm stronger than you, Tom.

[grunting]

Okay.

Okay.

♪

Okay, okay.

♪

Uh...

-Okay, Tom?
-Yeah?

RA?

Yeah?

Truce?

♪

Really?

♪

Truce.

♪

You serious?

♪

For reals.

♪

Okay.

[thump]

Little bitch!

All right, I just--
I just need to rest.

I just need to rest
for a second

before I take this last part.

Okay.

[panting]

[thud]

Ahh!

What is evil?

People talk about evil
like it's some mystical force.

Richard!

Sure.

It's out...

there,

but evil can be hidden
in a smile...

across the room.

Hey, Dick!

I'm coming for you, Richard.

♪

♪ Now we escape
down this water ♪

This is the last moment
I ever shared with Melanie.

♪

She went home
and never came back.

♪

I don't know
who did more damage:

me...

or Noopie.

♪ There, there,
we'll fight them ♪

♪ Lamps out and sun down,

hang your planets round ♪

♪ Light breaks so far away

♪ And I've got a long,
long way to go ♪

♪ Wonder my love lies,
a poor peace ♪

♪ A long, long way to go

♪ Cure me, my scars then

♪ All,
is it bright when

two ways to beg them ♪

♪ Treasure buried down,
long way to go ♪

♪

♪ Hold on, hold on

♪ Hold on, hold on

♪ Holding on was never as hard
as it is right now ♪

♪ Holding on was never as hard,
and I can't get out ♪

♪ Holding on was never as tough,
and I can't get out ♪

♪ Hold on, hold on

♪ Hold on, hold on

♪ I guess the list has been
made, am I on it? ♪

♪ Or will I just be pissed
at my station, I got it ♪

♪ Maybe a second opinion,
oh, what lies in a take on it ♪

♪ To pull my mind
from the gutter

for another
distant friendship ♪

♪ Bitter to spare, who cares,
I'm not there anyway ♪

♪ Just a ghost of what
a conversation is right for ♪

♪ Poor decision making,
now I suppose I'm stuck

with this life ♪

♪ Just living on the couch
so they never stop ♪

♪ Hold on, hold on

♪ Hold on, hold on

♪ Hold on, hold on

♪ Hold on, hold on

♪ Hold on, hold on

♪ Hold on, hold on