Original subtitles

♪♪

[ Tires screech ]Captain Solomon: Ooh-up!

Oh, and it's "The Night of the Fang"!

[ Telephone rings ]

This is Captain Solomon!

Dame Edith: I have an anonymous tip-off.

[ Gasps ]

I think you should investigate

Big Danny's Pet Shop.

The one on Lemon Lane.

Goodbye.

♪ Bomb, bomb, bomb, b-bomb, b-bomb ♪

I am choking you because you are the D-E-V-I-L --

devil!

[ Coughing ]

[ Dialing ]

Get your asses over to Big Danny's Pet Shop

on Lemon Lane right now!

I need some popping candy.

Listen.

[ Candy popping ]

Who is doing the most popaliciously

ping-pang poppy-woppy ding-a-lang,

dop, spip, pop, and a-hip-hop and a ding-dong del

and a ring-the-bell and is a fizzle-wizzle-dizzle

fizzy-whizzy and a pop pop-a-darom,

pop, pop, pop, pop-pop, pop-pop.

Oh, do shut up!

[ Grunting ]

[ Thud ]

[ Siren wails ]

[ Doorbell buzzes ]

Well, good evening.

I'm Big Danny Schvartz-sicle.

And, yes, before you ask, my teeth are false,

and they fall out on occasion.

I just wanted to warn you about that before we get started.

We just wanted to have a look around.

The pet shop is now closed.

Please come back tomorrow during business hours.

Now turn around

and kindly leave.

Get out of my way, babes.

As you can see, my animals are sleeping now.

They are exhausted and simply must have their sleep.

Now, ladies, you have seen my pet shop,

and I'm going to ask that you leave now.

Otherwise, I will have speak to my sexy lawyer.

He's a sexy man dubbed Carlostomy.

He has big, bushy eyebrows that kiss in the middle

and rosé sunglasses.

Cuban heels?

Of course.

He has the most Cuban of heels,

and he wears them on a daily basis.

And do you really need to ask if he wears silk shirts

and pantolones that reveal his curly dong-alicious

shabong-alicious dangling ding-dang danky dong?

And that he speaks in a sensuous baritone?

And that his accent is, I believe, Spanish?

And here, ladies -- and here I'm referring to Carlostomy.

He's a sexy, swarthy Spaniard.

And did I mention that he hails from Spain?

♪♪

[ Thud ]

No, Primetime!

No more bottles in fizzogs!

That's against the rules.

Get your paws off me,

you boring, bat-nosed shitski!

This just became the Night of the Fang.

♪♪

What? Did it really just become the Night of the Fang?

Can you please confirm that this is indeed

the Night of the Fang as I think I just heard her say?

Indeed, she did just announce that this has become

officially the Night of the Fang.

Oh, Mommy, please pen a letter to Daddy

and tell him I forgive him for the poopadoops

he fired at me from that most primitive of slingshots.

♪♪

[ Squeaking ]

Oh, mama mia.

Now what?

Kind of love this.

Kind of hate it, too.

What secrets are you hiding?

Boff.

These pets aren't even real.

♪♪

This false hamster's innards are sensuously gooey

chocolate-covered caramel swirly whirly.

Explain this or gasp your last.

I don't have to explain anything to you,

especially my fascination for the dreamily drippy

sensuous caramel.

I will give you to the count of three to explain yourself.

One!

Boff.

Two!

Boff and boff.

Three!

Boff and boff and boff.

[ Gunshot ]

[ Explosion ]

[ Body thuds ]

I've shot the oldest shitski I ever shot.

♪♪

He's dead. Big Danny's dead.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

What's wrong, baby girl?

Hug me now, soft child.

♪♪

Let's fill our boots.

♪♪

Man: Come to me.

♪♪

The pet shop behind the pet shop.

Who are you?

Reveal your identity if indeed you have

the capacity for speech, logic, and reasoning.

I am Animale.

Neither animal nor man, I occupy a rather unique realm.

The premium pet, he dubbed me.

"He" being Big Danny, of course.

I came with a rather high price tag, or so I'm told.

$10,000 U.S.

But I attracted no buyer.

Tell me, is Big Danny dead?

Yes, he's dead.

You're free now.

I've been incarcerated for so long,

I don't even know what to do now that I'm free once more.

Is there anything you've been dreaming of doing?

Yes.

There's one delightful fantasia

that's kept my spirits aglow during endless dark,

lonely nights in this most rancid and piss-soaked

of chambers.

Rollies.

[ Chanting "rollies" ]

[ All chanting "rollies" ]

[ Laughing ]

From fabulous rollies to...

All: Fabulous rollies!

Deluscious rollies in an alfresco manner.

Does it genuinely get any better than this?

Rollies are deluscious!

Thank you for the...

All: Deluscious rollies!

Shit, yeah.

Shit, yeah.

Shit, yeah.

Shit, yeah.

♪♪

Those rollies do indeed look most deluscious.

The tropical cops are fine for now.

They're no longer my quarry.

But are you?

Be careful how you answer that.

I am a mad ghost,

and there's no denying it.

I have been judged, and I have been watched today,

and I resent that.

I will find you in your dreams tonight,

and I'll slice out your kidneys

one by one.

And then

I'll feed them to my pets.

Trust me.

I have killed before!

All: And he will kill again!

♪♪