Original subtitles

♪♪

[ Tires screech ]Captain Solomon: Ooh-up!

♪♪

♪♪

[ Laughter in distance ]

Mungo: [ Screams ]

Aah! Aah. Aah.

It's El Cockarico El Diablo!

Aah!That purple shitski

has been stinging legions of poor seafarers

since time immemorial!

[ Screaming ]

[ Squishes ]

[ Explosion ][ Spits ]

Mama, look! I'm changing!

Mama!

♪♪

Mama, I am changing!

Oh, so old, so quickly!

[ Beeping ]

It looks like it's the Scalp Collector!

Is it? Is it the Scalp Collector?

Let's go!

Mama, that jellyfish has shriveled me up

into an ancient crisp.

[ Crying ] Behold your precious boy

trapped upon these golden sands.

Make your own way home, child!

We'll deal with your odd symptoms later!

Why must you always leave me?

[ Cries ]

[ Siren wails ]

♪♪

You're exceeding the speed limit,

you damn reckless shitski!

And I had a beer for breakfast, you damn shitski!

[ Goat bleats ]

[ Squishes ]

[ Goat bleats weakly ]

[ Siren wails ]

[ Clangs ]

There's a fat rat in that room over there

who claims to know the whereabouts

of the Scalp Collector!

But he is demanding $1 million US

for the information!

You must capture the Scalp Collector

before he causes any mayhem to our tourists

who are, uh, enjoying their vacation

on our golden tropical beaches!

♪♪

Come join me on the beach next Tuesday,

you boring Trop Cops!

Put your hands on your hips!

♪♪

Intimidation mode

has been activated in my cerebellum!

No, no, not again!

What happened to the old Meechie?

What happened to the horny wild witch

that did a great big yellow pool snake

down a suspect's actual esophagus?

That was private, Primetime!

Do not lose your cool in this most dank of chambers!

♪♪

Living it?

Loving it!

♪♪

They're so stupid!

But I love them!

Don't you?

Where's the Scalp Collector?

I require $1 million US,

and then information will spill freely

from these juicy, plumpy lippy-dippy doo-dahs.

Mm.

Where is the Scalp Collector?

These glossy lips will part

to reveal a cascade of information

once my financial requirements are met!

Hm. Hm.

Ah. [ Laughs ]

♪ With a spice spice here, and a spice spice there ♪

♪ Here a spice, there a spice ♪

♪ Everywhere a spice spice ♪

Wait!

Am I really going to join this song?

Daddy always said I couldn't sing.

♪ And a WTF

♪ And a OMG

♪ And a who, and a hey

♪ And a

[ Screams ]

You like creamy banana cones?

Who doesn't?

What a question, huh? Huh?

Nobody ever agrees with me!

How about creamy banana cones

sprinkled in Arabian spice dust

so hot they're volcanically illegal?

Uh, wait.

I need to speak with my legal team.

But I don't have a legal team, do I?

This is unethical!

And so is scalp collecting,

you illegal twat of a wanking cock!

[ Speaking in indistinct language ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Speaks in indistinct language ]

[ Speaks in indistinct language ]

No, no, no, no.

[ Squishes ][ Grunts ]

[ Muffled screams ]

No, no.

No, no, no.

[ Grunts ]

♪♪

Let's go!

♪♪

[ Muffled shout ]

♪♪

[ Engine shuts off ]

[ Car doors close ]

Scalp Collector: I used to pan-fry the scalps,

as you know,

but I've invested in a deep-fat fryer,

and I believe you'll find these new scalps

far crunchier and less oily.

But what say you, great tastemaker?

[ Sniffs ]

It is with a heavy heart that I must announce

that these scalps...

are delicious!

Crunchily crunchy,

saltily salty,

tangily tang-tang-tangy!

Ooh.

I just dribbled a little bit in the basement.

[ Chuckles ]

Hashtag totally not sorry.

Hashtag styling it out.

Hashtag is an old joke, yes?

Hmm?

Top scalps!

[ Applause ]

[ Inhales ]

Sometimes, they smell like anus.

We have six scalp-munching shitskis.

This needs to be a precision kill, Primetime.

Let me fetch my Corner Gun, my good sir.

We need authorization from Captain Solomon

to use that thing!

Then authorize it, Donkey Dong!

Stomp on him, Detective Barry Trout!

Stomp on him!

Flatten him, Detective Barry Trout!

Flatten him!

Meechie: Captain Solomon!

♪♪

Meechie, I'm giving orders to Detective Barry Trout,

one of the greatest detectives in our police force!

I'm requesting authorization to use the Corner Gun!

Come on!

We ain't got all bloody day, mate,

Have we?

Captain, now, please!

I need to request authorization

from our island's governor, Mary Gold!

Please wait!

Detective Barry Trout

will fit both boots in your mouth!

♪♪

That phone is only for calling Governor Mary Gold!

Oh, do shut up, Detective Barry Trout!

Oh, do shut up, Captain Horace Solomon!

[ Phone rings ]

Governor Mary Gold speaking.

Soloman: Governor, we need authorization

to use the corner gun.

We've got the Scalp Collector in our sights.

Come on, you great big dungy twat of a wanking cock!

Captain, I cannot overemphasize how urgent this is!

Governor Gold, please think of the scalps!

I saw this man leaving the island without a scalp!

Imagine what it's like!

You can't comb your hair!

♪♪

Should I be a good golden girly

or a bad golden girly?

[ Laughs ]

He's about to leave. Get her done!

Get that gold-plated shitski to make her damn mind up!

Now, now, now!

Kill the mother-loving son of a twat.

Kill und kill, und kill.

Kill the Scalp Collector now!

Aye!

Aye!

♪♪

Oh, Mommy.

I'm coming!

[ Gunshot ]

♪♪

[ All gurgling ]

[ Gurgles ]

♪♪

♪♪

Disgusting!