Original subtitles

♪♪

Oh, it is the how to be a tropical cop episode.

[ Insects chirping ]

Primetime: My good sir, I'm truly struggling to maintain

consciousness during this most tedious of stakeouts.

We've been here for six hours

waiting for this most mythical man

who has been dubbed with the moniker

"Don Quidong" to come home.

On long, dank night such as this,

one wonders why we ever set foot on this infernal island.

Big time, pally.

I'm so bored of this island.

I'm so bored of you, too.

It used to be so easy...

so easy and so nice -- so very nice.

[ Ship horn blowing ]

♪♪

Welcome to the tropical island, Primetime and Meechie!

Welcome!!

We're very excited you are here!

Big-city cops!

great big-city cops on our little island!

Hoo, boy.

Please let me take care of your suitcases.

♪ Two tropical elephants arriving to our island ♪

[ Shatter ]

What about our precious babies?

The babies need to stay in their scary cage

until they prove themselves as tropical cops!

[ Both crying and screaming ]

No! You run behind the car!

You need to build tropical bodies!

[ Engine starts, siren wailing ]

♪♪

We will first go to your tropical house!

This is where you will live!

It is a tropical house by the beach!

Get your big, fat, boring tropical elephant asses

into this tropical house right now!

This is your house now!

It's a tropical house designed for two tropical cops!

Come on! We're checking out the tropical kitchen,

and inside that tropical kitchen,

a tropical refrigerator!

[ Insects buzzing ]

You will be drinking 10 of these tropical energize drinks daily,

or the tropical heat and the humidity will rot your guts!

♪ You will be dead

♪ You will be deaaad

Now, we will go to the tropical police station immediately!

[ Siren wailing ]Come on! Come on!

I beg you!

We have urgent tropical police work to do!

We get our calls on these tropical phones!

Trop-- Tropical! Tropical!

Lookie here.

A tropical doorway!

Get your asses into the locker room now!

I mean, asses, locker room, now!

Get your fat, square, gargantuan,

elephantine asses into the locker room,

or I will execute both of you immediately.

I won't hesitate it at all.

Get your asses into the locker room

where there is fruity drinks... lots of stuff,

and there are other things that I cannot tell you right now,

but there are many things in that locker room

you should know about and get prepared to know about.

So, get your asses into the locker room now!

[ Panting ]

Sometimes, I miss my mommy!

♪ Don those tropical uniforms now ♪

Now!

Put those tropical uniforms on now!

Now that you donned your tropical uniforms,

you get to meet our tropical chef dubbed Andre.

This is Chef Andre!

He will be making you a high-end energy tropical smoothie!

I make a special tropical blend.

He makes a special tropical blend,

a special tropical smoothieeeee!

[ Groaning ]

[ Beeping ]

To the interrogation room!

My client has been here for 23 hours, 55 minutes.

Five more minutes, you'll let him go,

unless, of course, he confesses to killing

the tropical lounge crooners, which he won't.

We've got five minutes to get a confession from him,

so go to it.

♪♪

This is a flamethrower.

Is that really a flamethrower?

Is that really a flamethrower?

That's a strong flamethrower.

You wouldn't dare throw flames at my client.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Yes, I would! Go ahead.

Throw the flame.

Go incinerate him right now.

Come on. Turn him into a flaming fricassee,

a tropical fricassee.

Do not throw flames!

I'm sorry, Captain. I can't do it.

Your five minutes are up. My client is free to go.

Oh, boy. Oh, Mama.

I'm going to take you to the other room

and show you who the realmaster is.

♪ Give me one good reason not to fire your asses ♪

♪ You're so stupid

♪ Give me one good reason not to fire your asses ♪

♪ You're so stupid

♪ Give me one good reason not to fire your asses ♪

♪ You're so stupid

You're so stupid.

♪♪

Freeze right there you long-donged, hook-nosed shitski!

Reveal your identity now, sir,

before I get to blasting your fingers clean off!

Yes, my moniker is Don Quidong.

That is to say I am the dark don of the de-luscious,

dongaliciously dangling donkey dongy-wongy dang-dong.

[ Chuckles ]

Behold.

Behold.

See why I have earned this worthy moniker.

See why I am dubbed Lord Don Quidong.

Oh, hell no. I don't want to see that.

I -- I do.

I really don't want to see it!

I really do want to see it!

Oh, hell, no! I don't want to see it!

Oh, hell, yes! I want to see it!

Oh, hell, no! I don't want to see that!

Oh, hell, yes! I want to see it!

[ Chuckles ]

[ Gun clicks ]

Oh.

Oh, you know, it's just a toy for children.

You know, I work in a little toy shop,

and I make things for children myself.

Children are very fond of playing with these things

because they are just harmless toys, you know?

Children, they love to play with --

Uh, no. Uh, children do not play with that.

I am leaving. I don't like --

[ Screaming ]

♪♪

You haven't killed me.

You've merely sent me to another realm.

It's becoming very clear and vivid.

Would you like me to describe it to you?

I want to go to sleep, pally!

[ Bike bell chiming ]

♪♪

You're a couple of prime assholes!

We wanted Don Quidong alive!

You've fried him to a crisp!

You're so stuuupiiid!

♪♪

Keep up, stupid, boring tropical elephants!

[ Panting ]

♪♪