All language subtitles for The War with Grandpa. english

This year is gonna suck.

How do you know that?

That happens.

I just know it.

Last year we were the kings.

Fifth graders. We ruled
that school.

This year, nobody likes us.

That's true.

Speak for yourself. I'll
be fine I got a mustache coming in.

I wanna see it.

No.

No one’s got it worst than me.

Do you see that girl over there?

She is
gonna torture me every chance she gets.

Wait a second, isn't that your sister?

Yeah.

At least you guys have your own rooms.
My grandfather stole mine.

Wait, Your grandfather moved in with
you guys? When did that happen?

Ever since he robbed the grocery store.

Can I help you, sir?

You can help me find Maria.

Maria is gone.
We are completely self checkout now.

Much faster, much more efficient.
I think you will like it.

So the price is gonna be lower
because I'm doing all the work now?

We always have
everyday low prices sir, everyday.

Everyday? Everyday.

Get out of my way. Get out of my way.
No problem.

- Please scan your item.
- I'm talking to a robot.

Please scan your item.

I just did.

Let's see if this thing...

Please scan your item.

You are very boring.

Please scan your item.

Yeah, right.

Sir! Sir!

Sir, I need you to stop.

Wait, sir let me help you.
Hit my leg! Go away!

Come on, sir.

Go! I'm a senior citizen.
Get out of here.

- I know judo!
- Go!

Leave the poor man alone!

Your pharmacy stinks.

Are you insane? Stop!

I see you all wanna play it out.

That's all you've got? That hurt.

Hey, there's my girl. You didn't have
to come all this way I told you I was fine.

What happened to the mailbox?

That, some idiot took him out.

Crap.

Dad, you are driving again, aren't you?
You lost license remember?

No, I didn't lose it,
I forgot to renew it.

So now I have to retake the
test all over again, which is idiotic

because I've been driving for
over 50 years. I mean what am I
supposed to do, starve to death?

I'm coming in.

This can't keep happening.

Don't worry I'm never going back
to that damn store again.

No, I mean the part about you
I had to leave the dealership earlier.

Drive two hours each way
just to check on you

I didn't ask you to come!

No, you didn't, the police did. Dad I
wanna come, I want to be there for you.

But maybe this is now is the time
we have to consider...

No, I am not moving! I built this
house, I'm gonna die in this house.

And that's it.
And you are not putting me in a home!

What if it were our home?

What are you talking about? Fish
and relatives stink after three
days. That's a horrible idea.

We'll kill each other.
It ain't working no, sorry.

Dad!

I miss her too.

And that's no gonna change.

By moving me out of my house
and sticking in yours.

God.

Maybe we could
miss her together.

Yeah, maybe. But you don't have
the room in your house anyway.
Where would even you put me.

The attic? No way!

Come on buddy, don't make it harder
than it already is. It's the only choice.

Dad! If it's the only choice,
then it's not a choice at all.

'Cause a "Choice" means
you get to pick.

Between at least two things.
And this is one thing.

Unless the other is
to get to sleep in the yard.

And get eaten by a bear.

Don't be so dramatic, Peter.

Besides, your
sisters already share a room.

Yeah, well Sarah me told you said that.

No, I know, I know she exaggerates
but may... you sta...

Hold on.

- Hey What's up.
- Shh!

Plus the attic doesn't have a bathroom
and your Grandpa can't do all these stairs.

And the basement... is the basement.

- Ha!
- What?

My Jordans! I just put them first laces.

Hey Peter, do you need
help moving upstairs?

Get out! It's still my room.

Not for long.

Go away! Go go go!

Peter, I know
this is not ideal, but we are

a family and we make
sacrifices for each other.

Sometimes very big sacrifices.

Look, sweetheart,
the attic is bigger than this room.

Once you move in
then that will be your room.

No, it won't. It will be the attic
where you put stuff and forget it

just like our old TV or
the exercise bike that Dad used once.

True.

What? I exercise, look think
about it is a fresh new start, alright?

We'll dust everything up
put new paint up everywhere.

Get a chance to clean up
your turtle tank.

They like it that.
Get some privacy.

Does it still fit you, sweetie?

Yes.

Grandpa!

Grandpa is here, Grandpa is here,
Grandpa all the way.

What fun it is to have a Grandpa
come and stay, hey.

Hey, now remember: we
don't wanna overwhelm Grandpa, OK.

So let's let him settle down.

There will be plenty of time
to talk to him during dinner OK.

- I'm not gonna be here.
- What?

What? I'm studying with Russel.

"Studying" still means studying, right?
It's not slang for something else?

No dad. "Studying" still means studying
And I already cleared it with mom.

Grandpa!

Jenny!

Don't body slam.

Shit.

- Hi, Grandpa.
- Hello sweetheart.

Ed.

Artie.

Where is your brother?

Peter?

Peter?

Peter!

Kids, let's help Grandpa
with his bags.

-Okay, I've got this.
I've got it.

OK. Then I'll take the suitcase.

He called me "Artie" again.

Please Arthur,
this isn't easy for him.

Hey, Grandpa.

Hey, there he is, look at you.

Look at you.
Look you are sprouting up like a weed.

Nice sneakers.

Thanks. How do you like your room?

It looks nice.
Because it's nice.

Easily
the nicest room in the house.

I know kid, look,
I didn't wanna it to be this way either.

Sometimes you have to make
sacrifices in a family.

That's true. You're right.

Sometimes you don't even get to vote.

That makes two of us.

Be careful with the floorboards
They pile up.

I'll remember that, thanks kiddo.

I'll talk to you later, Grandpa.

You can visit me in the attic anytime.

It's a creepy place
full with spiders and mice.

- Peter!
- I wasn't!

Here we are.

You've been robbed, bro.

No, I was invaded.

The worst part is
I'm not even allowed to complain about it.

Seems like you've been complaining
enough lot, Pete.

I mean at home because he is old
and we all love him and stuff.

Dude come on
get another enemy to invade your base.

You gotta to fight back and
stick up to your rights.

I don't have rights.

Everyone has rights. They are in,
aliens something.

They are allowed to pursuit happiness
It is in the constitution.

Yeah, well all that would be
great if I lived in North America.

But it turns out that 153 Burlington
Avenue is actually in North Korea.

Did your parents
know that when they bought the house?

What?

I wouldn't put up with this Pete.

I'll get my room back
or else it's war.

What do you mean "Or else it's war"?

You want him to attack his grandfather?

Sneak attack, Emma.

See, He cannot fight him the normal way
because his grandfather has strength, size.

And experience, whilst Peter is
weak, small and dumb.

You're a bad friend.

Hi, Steven...

Mom says don't forget to wear
your sandals when you shower in Gym Class.

Not cool, Lisa.

My brother has that toe fungus thing.
Totally gross and contagious.

Contagious?

Gross.

It's only on six of my toes.

That's a lot of toes, bro.

Hi, grandpa.

Hi, sweetheart.

Do you wanna play a game?
I have "Reindeer Run"

I have "Santa's World",
I have "1-2-3 Christmas Tree".

Maybe, but not right now, okay?

Wanna watch a movie?
I have "Frosty the Snowman".

I don't think so. Okay,
sweetheart? Maybe tomorrow?

Okay.

What's wrong with Grandpa?

Why? What happened?

He doesn't wanna do anything.

He just stares out the window but
there's nothing there except for that tree.

That daddy says he's gonna cut down, but you
won't let him to use the chainsaw.

Daddy can use the chainsaw
anytime he wants honey, OK?

He just chooses to wait
until Mommy says it's okay.

Grandpa will be alright.
He's just tired and.

Thinking a lot about Grandma. He'll be okay.

Okay.

Get away from me!

I hate my life.

Come on!

Ouch.

"Declaration of war."

When in the course of human events,
one person steals another person's bedroom

there is no other choice
but war.

You have 24 hours to give me back what is mine

"or face
the consequences. Secret Warrior."

Nice handwriting.

It's not bad, it's just you know
it's an adjustment, so yeah.

Who are you talking to?

What, its Jerry, this time, I'm on the phone.

No, I would love to,
I would love to, but I can't

I'm stuck here. Yeah.

Hi Jerry, It's Sally.

Hey!

- He's not stuck.
- What are you doing?

Yeah, bring him over
I’m on my way from work.

See you soon. Bye, Jerry.

So, now you are setting
me up on play dates?

Could I pack a lunch,
maybe put a note in it?

You want a note? Might
not like what it says.

I'll see him some other
time, don't feel like it now.

You haven't seen Jerry in ages.

Now you live
close. It will be nice.

I can't and I don't want to. I've
got stuff to do. I have to take care of

the light switch in my room now.
'Cause Artie put it in backwards.

You did!

Eat up. We're going in 15 minutes.

Yes, Mom.

How is it going
grandpa? Did you sleep OK?

Like a log Pete. Thanks. Don't you
guys get the paper around here?

Yeah, we do.

Here it is.

I can't read this.

Just make it bigger. See.

Yes.

Jenn...

How does she
survive? She doesn't eat anything.

I don't know. Don't be late, Peter.

OK. So? No nightmares?

Me? No.

Insomnia?

Now it's like eight
words in the whole screen.

You don't want to talk about anything?

I just make the whole thing disappear! I
don't know what I did just now? What the...

Peter, let's go!

OK, well, if you want to talk about
something later on, we can do that.

OK, have a good day.

He didn't react at all?

Not a word. What's his game.

What's yours Pete,
I mean, come on.

You don't start a war
with a note.

Maybe he didn't actually read it.

He read it
It was on his desk unfolded.

Maybe he forgot he read.
Old people do that.

You do that, Steve.

Oops. That happens...

What the point is, you've already blown
the element of surprise.

You've got to attack immediately.

- A mess chili in your backpack?
- He knows.

Yeah.

Hi, Steven.

God, no.

You left your retainer
in the back seat of mom's car.

I think there's Snicker
trapped in it.

At least I hope that's a Snickers.

See you at dinner.

God, it's a Snickers.

Coming along, Arthur?

Not bad, if you feel like big boxes.

Big boxes built this company.

Yes. Yes, they did.

Are you sure that's
the Walmart food print?

Walmart? I thought this was for K-mart.

It's Walmart.

Man. I'm sorry.
I've got a lot on my mind these days.

My father-in-law just moved
in with us, so...

I don't know. I feel like
he judges me.

He thinks I work for some
soul sucking corporate firm.

That has no interest or care
or worries of its...

...its employees.

Have a good time.

I'm just gonna walk home?

Well, you can if you want.
Or you can use this.

I already have a phone.

That's not a phone. I don't
know what that is. Just take it.

Okay, this is a car service
called "Lyft".

If you wanna go home, you just
swipe that, somebody comes to get you.

You don't need cash,
you don't have to talk to anybody.

Swipe. Swipe it.

Bye, Dad.

Okay.

- Say hi to Jerry for me.
- I will.

Holy cow, this is all yours?
This is like a college kid's dream room.

Are you kidding?
No college kid can afford this.

The pool table alone
is six grand.

And you use all this stuff?

Of course, I do.

What do you wanna do first?
Play pool? Pump some iron like a man?

And what the heck is that?

That is a one wheel.
And they are fun.

And you actually ride that thing?

Hell's yes.

Epic!

You should see me.

Wow!

Yo, Jerry! Sorry I didn't know
you were "ocupado".

This is my old friend Ed.

Ed, hi, Danny.

Glad to meet you.
So are we walking?

Yeah.

Good. 'Cause my masseuse told me
if I get 10 thousand steps this week.

She will meet me for coffee.

By "coffee" I mean, you know.

Coffee?

Yeah, coffee.

Good morning ladies.

Really, dude?

These jogger pants are
gonna be the death to me.

Why do you do that?

What? They think I'm cute.

Yeah, Cute like, an old guy is cute
when they still think they have a shot.

Hey, I'm a catch.

They know I have a full pension. Two
more years and I can ski free as a senior.

Do you ski?

No, I do not. Good morning.
Beautiful morning.

How are you? Lovely.

Nice, nice
next time bring up the pension.

And the free ski if you'll never do.

How is your daughter's place, Ed?

It's okay, I guess. She gave
me my grandson's room. He
is not too happy about it.

He sent me this last night.

"... my bedroom... no choice,
...face the consequences".

Wow! How did you respond?

I didn't.

- You just gonna roll all on this?
- You've gotta respond., come on.

This kind of aggression show must stand
Semper fi.

I didn't know you were a marine?

I wasn't. Just saying...

He's a kid. He getting used
to it just like I am

I'm his grandfather, so
he is not gonna do anything.

What are you talking about?
You have to do something...

"People who steal other people's room
should not sleep well."

Peter? Peter!

Grandpa. Is that you?

Yes, it's me, you know it's me.
Do you know what time it is?

Night time?

It's the middle of the night. Come on,
It's not funny, Peter. I don't like people

playing tricks on me,
especially my own grandson.

It's not a trick. It's war.

You don't go to war
against your family.

You have to have an enemy.
To go to war and I'm not your enemy.

You've got my declaration.
Why didn't you say anything?

Because I was kind of hoping it was a joke.

It's not a joke. You took something
of mine and I want it back.

OK. Go back to sleep, you made your point.

But this is over now.

Will see you in the morning,
which is almost here.

Grandpa? I love you.

I love you too, kiddo.

But the war is still on.

Hi, grandpa.

- Hey, Jenny.
- Can I come in?

Sure, why not.

'Cause when Peter lived here

I was snuck in accessing in.

Come on, come on.

So what can I do for you?

Nothing. I just like to
look at other people's stuff.

Do you know my birthday is coming up?

I do.

OK. Just making sure.

What's this?

Those are marbles.

Can I have one?

Sure, if you promise to take care of
it. These are very special.

They are not magic.

People always say that things are magic
and they never are.

No, I didn't say
that they were magic

but they are special. Come here.

You know that grandma
used to build houses?

Yeah, but I wasn't born.

That's true, you weren't born
But-

When you build a house, you
always start by doing some digging.

And for some reason
you almost always find marbles

I guess because they roll around
and get lost easily.

But pretty much every foundation
I ever dug, I always

found a marble or two.
So guess what I did with them.

What?

I kept them
so if you count all those marbles.

You will know how many
houses I built.

That's a lot of houses.

I worked a long time.

How can't you work right now?

Because I'm what you call retired.

What is retired?

It's when you stop working
so you can do other things.

Like your grandmother and
I had big plans

but, sometimes
things just don't work out.

Can I have a marble now?

Sure.

Careful, sweetheart, careful, careful.

Are you okay, Grandpa?

Yeah, yeah, I just get a rest down here
for a while.

Can I still have a marble?

Take whatever you want.

No no no no.

What's that racket upstairs?

Grandpa lost his marbles.

"Come to my room. Now."

- You wanted to see me?
- Yeah. Come on in. Shut the door.

Have a seat.

So,
you know that big jar of marbles I had?

No. How would I know
about the things you have

in your room...? That used to be mine.

That's good. That's funny.
That's real funny.

Everybody likes a funny kid. I thought
we were done with this.

All you have to do is tell mom and dad
that you will switch room with me.

And then. It will be done.

You really want war?
Because you know I've been in one.

It's not like video games.

Even if you win,
everybody gets hurt.

I only want what's mine.

You're playing hardball, huh?

I'm not playing.

Fair enough. So what are the
rules of engagement?

What?

Rules of engagement
what's allowed and not allowed.

- You don't have rules in war.
- Yes, you do.

"Rule number one:
no collateral damage

to civilians
or their property."

That means it can't affect
your parents or your sisters.

Agreed.

"Rule number two: no telling."

This is man to man. Just between me
and you. No ratting the other guy out.

Agreed.

OK. Sign!

Okay, you got your wish,
"Secret Warrior".

Okay. "Senior Soldier".

But from now on: "You better watch out".

The jungle: A place for animals
both big and small, exotic and bizarre.

Coexist with one another in the same space
and in the same time.

The game: to survive.
The stakes: life or death.

Those who strike first
live to see another day.

Those who sleep
will be eaten alive.

OK. Okay.

What the... what is this stuff?

"Fast drying foam sealant".

I'll kill this kid,
don't mess with me, you little...

Do you think you're cute?

Then you did the math without
the landlord, my friend.

You will be sorry for that,
I promise you.

Do you think you're cute? You are not cute!

This one never been spoken of!

I have no idea what you are talking about.

You're doing very well, Grandpa.

Thank you, sweetheart. You are
a very good teacher.

Why is your face so red

I don’t know.

I may be
allergic to something in this house.

Well, I'll be in the shaving cream.

I mean... school.

Peter! Is that your binder?

Yeah, thanks.

Have a good day at school,
kiddo, love you.

Hey Pete. How's your
super unnecessary war going?

Not good. I was up all
night. Couldn't sleep at all.

Diarrhea?

What? No! My grandpa.

Your grandpa has diarrhea?

No! There is no diarrhea in the story.

I did what you said yesterday
and I hit him good multiple times.

I even put hot sauce in his coffee
this morning.

So far nothing.

Dude, your grandfather is using psy-ops.

Psychological warfare.

Or, maybe he's just been an adult.

Peter? Have you
done talking?, Maybe you'd like.

To read us your report
on what you did over your summer vacation?

Yeah, sure.

"My Summer Vacation" by Peter Decker.

This summer was one the
best summer breaks I've ever had.

I rode my bike a lot
and stop showering

until I smell like a monkey's butt.

Keep reading Peter, go on.

I don't want to. This isn't my...

Read!

During my vacation I figured out
how to freeze my own farts in a baggy.

I didn't write this.

Have a seat.
And see me after class.

Psy-ops.

Amateur.

What's going on here?

The... nothing, nothing! We were just...

I was just dropping up
some vocabulary drills.

Really?

Vocabulary.

Russell, go! Mia, stay.

Do you ignore the policy
doesn't allow.

Boys in this house
when no one is here?

My god, mom, don't blow a gas.
'Cause we weren't doing anything.

Don't you think I was your age once.

The... No, I don't

really... yeah.

'Cause you are... What...

You are literally... Say it.

Those vocabulary drills
are paying off, sweetie.

What the heck!

Don't start nothing won't be nothing.

He got me.

I got him good.
Tape on the door way,

Like I wouldn’t see that
from miles away.

- Rookie!
- Tape on the door way.

Tape on the door way.

Step back boys, I'll tee off.

Yeah. I'm stepping back.

We should skip this hole.

- Yeah, Good idea.
- Yeah.

I wonder how
my grandpa's golf game is doing.

My Jordans!

Dude, I think your
grandpa might be a ninja.

My Jordans.

First time?

Unfortunately, no.

What are you, a spy or something?

No. I'm just trying to
spy my grandson.

We are in the middle of
a tough battle over a bedroom.

I just moved in to my
daughter's house so...

No, no no don't say anything else.
So nobody can make me testify.

I won't.

You need a hand.

No, let me give it one more shot.

Come on, yeah...
and what am I doing wrong now?

No no I'm... I'm not gonna help you now
that way you'll never learn.

Make you tough on me?

You're on your way.

Bam! Cars like this
1974 Volkswagen bug used to...

We had one of those remember.

We changed the clutch on it.

Yeah, how could I forget,
you dropped the flywheel on my toe.

Well that was your fault.
For mistaking me for your son.

Anybody wanna watch
anything else maybe? Like...

Netflix?

The weather channel?

C-SPAN?

"The Grinch who Stole Christmas".

Hey, yeah!

Hey, going to Skyler's house.

What? Now?

Yes, I'm studying.

Do you want me to get into
a good college or not?

Okay, bye.

She's going to see Russell, I know it.

- What?
- None of my business.

No come on, your are gonna say it anyway.

Okay.

My advice about fighting
her about a boyfriend is dumb.

It cost me two years with you.

Yeah. When you started dating
Artie here.

That's not true, I don't remember that.

Well I do. It was terrible

I was over the house
all the time.

Yes, you were over the house
talking to your mother. You
barely talked to me at all.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Sorry, dad.
- No, don't be, it was my fault.

I thought he wasn't good enough
for you til I realized.

That wasn't the point. The point
was you thought he was good enough for you.

But, you and Artie get on
great now.

Because I stopped being an idiot.

But, I'll never get those two years back.

Wow! I appreciate that, Ed.

You're welcome Artie, I mean.
I meant that sincerely.

But your career is not so much...

What? Dad!

Nothing against Artie, It's just that I
think that people who sidle their dreams.

Who settle for less are never very happy,
that's all.

Really? Well, I find that those
same people tend to have secure incomes.

Which then allow them to, I don’t know
take an aging senior perhaps.

And the name is "Arthur". Come on, honey
let's go, it's bed time. Here we go.

Night, sweetie.

- Night.
- Good night.

I thought you stopped being an idiot.

Sorry.

I can't put anything back
together. He took all of the screws.

Now I'm sleeping on the floor.

That's hilarious.

Yeah. Ha-Ha.

Dude, you may have to face
the fact that

your grandfather
is just smarter than you... hey.

Billy, nice snake.

Thanks.

Steven, I found the dog
chewing your suckables again.

Those aren't mine.

Really?
It says "Captain Steve" on the waistband.

Get out of my room!

"Captain Steve".

See, it's not that hard.

Yeah thanks kiddo.

Okay off you go.
A lot of thanks.

Yeah, Now we're talking?

- I know something you could do, Peter.
- what?

You could use some of the mental
energy spending.

On picking up stupid tricks to play on
your grandfather to not get a C in math.

Who cares about math?
This is real life.

...says the guy building
a fake castle in a video game.

Petersburg isn't a castle,
it's a palace.

And after three years in the making,
it's almost finished.

Too easy.

No.

And then see if the light is on.

No no no!

Every beginner knows that.

What the...?

Grandpa's cookies.

Did you bring it?

You have the cash.

Dude it's all there.

I'm sure it is, Pete. I'm sure it is.

Not funny, Peter!

Nice snake, nice, nice snake! Nice snake.

You can take all you want,
whatever you want!

I'm just, I just can go, go over here.

Don't mind if I do, Eddie.

You stay there. You
stay there. You stay there!

What's that?

It's a Baylor necklace.

A what? Like those TV commercials?

You expect me to wear that?
Absolutely not. Absolutely not, no way.

You know you use or wear under
your shirt and nobody could even see it.

You can't see that.

If you don't
wanna wear it for you, wear it for me.

- But I don't need this.
- Really?

I don't need this.

Because Arthur says that you've been acting.

Oddly.

He has?

For the record:
I didn't say "oddly".

I said "confused".

"Confused".

Look, look dad, is it so hard to believe
that we care about you.?

Probably you
wouldn't even use it.

You got that right, 'cause I'm
not wearing it.

Look, it gives me peace of mind
to know that with just one push of a button.

You can get help if you need it.

Please.

Please.

Sweet necklace, Grandpa.

Great reaction, my friend.

And this is how you found him?

Yeah. When I couldn't
reach him online I got worried.

My life's work, ruined.

I see it's a pile of rubble.

He destroyed Petersburg.

I've been building it for
more than a third of my life.

Actually,
three twelfths are exactly 25 percent,

Which is less than a
third of your life.

Well it is.

It's okay buddy.

You see dear.

I was right the boy is coming around.

Do you both promise to
use your words?

I promise.

Why are we doing it this way?

Because when you have peace talks, you need
someone neutral to mediate

otherwise you just break down into yelling.

This is dumb!

Well we are doing it
besides it took me five minutes.

To get on this chair,
I'm not getting out.

Grandpa promised.
You have to promise.

Okay fine. I promise.

Good. Now, I will admit the hostilities
may have escalated more.

Than neither of us anticipated.

You don't touch another man's
computer.

That's not cool!

That's what war is all about, kiddo.

War! I just want my
room back!

No yelling!

I'm not yelling, he is yelling.

Say you are sorry to Grandpa.

No, It's OK sweetheart.

- I love you, Grandpa.
- I love you too.

- Stop that!
- Stop what?

- What's going on here?
- Nothing's going on here.

You're supposed to be neutral!

I don't even know what that means.

Means you shouldn't act like you
like him better than me.

I do like him better than you.
He gave me a cookie.

Okay, that sounds worse than it is.
It is true a cookie was given.

But it was way before this
negotiation was even scheduled.

Chocolate chips. My favorite.

Mine too.

That's it I'm done.
Peace is canceled.

No yelling!

Shut up!

"Shut up" it's a bad word!

Peter.

Can I get my second cookie now?

Peter, Peter, Peter, hold up
please come on. You’re right a
cookie may have been involved.

Which may have been an attempt to
influence the mediator, which in
retrospect may have been inappropriate

"may have been."

Okay to be fair with the negotiation
with a bit of an attitude yourself.

You didn’t give the
peace a chance, either.

Why should I?
You demolished Petersburg.

But that's what I've been trying
to tell you when this all started.

War is no game, Peter.

Only kids, and fools and generals
think that. War hurts.

War wounds, and kills and causes
misery. We gotta end it somehow.

How?

What if we have one final competition,
the winner take all?

What kind of competition?

I don't know, you pick.

Whatever you wanna do
this whole thing will be over.

- Whatever I want?
- Whatever you want.

Okay.

It's not a date. It's just that
we need a fourth in the team,

it needs to be a woman and
I don't know anyone else.

So let me get this straight
you want me to help you.

And your buddies
to beat up your grandson and his buddies.

Because the two of you can't figure
out some way to live in the same house?

Well, when you put it like that...

I'm in. My granddaughter can
be a pain in the butt sometimes.

Holy-moly, we're dead.

That's just an intimidation tactic
Danny.

Don't let them see your fear
They feed of that.

They are like baby velociraptors.

Yeah, yeah, velociraptors.

Do you guys even remember
how to play dodge-ball?

Did they even have
dodge-ball in 1800s?

They're wise ass kids, I know that.

Just remember not headsies.

And no nutsies.
No aiming for the junk.

Yeah what he said.

Hope you brought your Poligrip, old man?
'Cause those false teeth are coming out.

Big words for a little baby. Sure
you don't need your diaper changed?

Sure you don't?

- Men!
- Tell me about it.

You're gonna love the attic, Grandpa.

You're gonna see about that
Pete boy.

- Let's get it on!
- Let's get it on!

Yeah!

Hi!

Run for your lives!

Fire!

Why did I agree to do this?

Man down.

Hey, we said, no headsies!

Oops. It slipped.

Next game! AOPP Team: One.

ARPT team: none.

My ears are ringing. This is barbaric.

Man up, Danny, get in the game.

Who is this again?

Bring it in guys, bring it in.

Obviously they are way
too fast for us.

We are gonna have to play our own way
if we wanna win this thing?

-Am I right -yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay I have an idea...

Game two! Position people!

Grab them!

Fire!

Yeah. Now you are in trouble.

Boom!

Out! Out! Out! Two catches
in a hit. You three.

Come on, you old cute,
give me your best shot!

Well, if it is Mr. Headsies!

Nutsies.

Oops. Slipped.

That's game two. We're Tie. One of each.
Final match, the winner takes all.

You okay? Okay.

Positions people!

What's he doing?

Danny!

You are an animal!

Hell yeah. Whose house is this?

- Our house!
- Our house!

Yeah!

Let's do this!

Jerry! What happened?

I broke something.

I definitely heard a pop.

Dude! I mean
old dude are you okay.

Of course he is okay, dummy.

1,2,3,4.

You! Get out!

Chiss!

Hey, you can't get me, I'm on fire!

Sorry, Danny!

What's up son.

You two, out!

What?

That's not fair.

Yeah right, that doesn't count. He
was already out and he throws like a girl.

Diane, that was a friendly fire.
Are you playing for wrong agent now?

You three, out!

Sorry, Peter's grandpa,
but I'm gonna end you!

Hey, what happened to the sisterhood?

Sorry, Kid.

You will not a die in vain.

This is so dumb.

Yeah, yeah, yeah
You're out now, off you go!

- Go ahead!
- Yeah.

- Come on, Peter! You've got this.
- End him!

- Get your room back.
- Come on!

- Let's go!
- Finish him, Ed! Yeah go Ed.

What are you waiting for? End it. I've got
an eight-year old's birthday party up next.

It's a tie!

- No way!
- What!

What? No way! I totally
caught his ball before he caught mine.

No, I caught the ball first.

- Seriously, he caught it before him.
- He bubbled this.

I didn't buble anything.

He's got butter fingers.
See butter.

He is old, his fingers don't work.
I've got one finger that works.

Okay, that's enough. Game over.
Go home. All of you, seriously.

I won this... yeah sure... I won.

Are you kidding?...You lost I'm sorry,
you know that... What are you talking
about, I obviously caught it before you.

This place has a bar?

What's this?

I'm just drawing.

It doesn't look like one of your usual
what you call them "boxes".

Yeah.

No, don't get me wrong, I
mean, it's interesting really,
I like it. Is this for work?

No, the city is taking bids for
addition to the library so...

I thought I'd submit a design.

But you know how it is. I'm sure
they'll just pick one of the big firms.

Well, you miss 100 percent of the shots
if you don't take.

You know who said that?

No.

Wayne Gretzky.
Best hockey player of all time.

I was gonna... I was gonna say that.

The great one?

The greatest.

Still not a sports guy?

No.

Okay, good.

- Found him!
- Ready to sedate!

Just lie down, sir.

- What is this?
- Hold him!

We're trying to save your life,
sir. Get that thing away from me!

Sir, you are not helping!...I
just bought this you idiot.

Don't worry, sir,
you are in good hands!

Get rid of that thing or you're dead!

Patient defends himself.
We may need restraints.

Restraints.
I don't need restraints!

You know, I hate that test.

I think I did pretty good.

Get in the car.

Thanks, but I think I just I'm gonna
take the bus home with my friends.

Come on, get in the car.

Bye.

Friend of yours?

That's Chuck. You don't need
to know about Chuck.

Where are we going?

Clear Lake. Nice place, you'll like it.

You know I'm only 12, right?

There's a lot of life left to live.

I can be president some day.

Or be the first person
in a mission to Mars.

Holy heck!

Get out!

You know mom is expecting us for dinner.

Maybe I should call her,
let her know where we are.

No problem, we'll bring dinner
home tonight.

I rented for a couple of hours. I thought, me and
you

could do
a little fishing. Together.

How does that sound?

Great.

I mean I'm not gonna have fun.

You'll have fun.

I think I caught one.

What a wave!
Gotta be a big one.

It's huge! Nice going.

That's not a fish
that's a whale.

He really fought too.

We're gonna have some good eating tonight.

I'll give you some bait again.

Okay.

OK. Cast away!

Nice cast.

Thanks. This is kind of fun.

Yeah it is. That's what happens when
we put our differences aside, see?

Are they biting?

Pretty good. Caught a couple of nice ones.

Good for you.
That's probably because.

Not too many people fish here.
It's been illegal.

- What?
- What?

You could ask the ranger.
Here he comes now.

-Throw the fish out!
Those are our fish?

Throw the fish!

- Why?
- Make it up!

The cooler!

Forget the cooler.

You're breaking the law!

He's gaining on us.

He is gaining on us.

What are you doing?

I gotta call Chuck to pick us up.

He left us?
What kind of friend is that?

Friend? He is my Lyft driver.
I don't know the guy.

Pull over or
face the consequences!

Hold on, the landing will be tough.

Grandpa come on!

Hey, why didn't you tell us
there was no fishing?

You wouldn't have rented the boat!

Stop, stop! Hold it!

- That was so cool.
- Yes, that was.

But breaking the law
is wrong, you know that, right.

Yeah. I know.

Pull over here, Chuck.
I wanna show you something, Pete.

So this house
this house facade, I built it.

They changed the color,
I don't like that. What do you think?

I like it.

Maybe it's not so bad.

You know, over the years,
when I wasn't feeling so good

I came by and take a look.

I've seen people
living in a thing I built raising families.

Making lives and...
I felt better.

Do you feel better now?

Yeah, I do.
Hey, you wanna know a secret?

- Yeah.
- Come on.

People who build houses
usually sign their work,

Like artists sign their paintings.

Really?

Yes, but It's always hidden.

Some guys sign their name on a rafter,
others put something under the floorboards.

Like a newspaper with the date the
house was finished.

One guy used to write
poem at the bottom of a toilet

before he installed it.

What did you do? Me, well

I always had one of my guys take
a picture of me and your grandmother.

And then I would sealed the picture
inside the wall next to the fireplace.

So there are photos of
me and your grandmother.

Inside the walls
all over this part of the city.

Nobody knows but you.

And now you do.

That's cool.

We'll make an angler out of you yet, kid.

Maybe next time we will
find a lake with a lot of fish...

Yes there are plenty of lakes
teeming with perch.

- Yeah fat ones too.
- Yeah, whoppers.

- Grandpa?
- Yeah, Pete?

Thank you for taking me
fishing. I had a really great time.

You are welcome. I had a
a great time too. Let's do this more often.

Yeah. Sure.

See you at dinner.

That's good, you got me.

You got me good. You are a dead man.

That happens.

Wow, not again.

Oops. That happens.

OK, I’m gonna put this
in the hat right here.

Did you put the words in that one?

I'm doing that right now.

"Come celebrate Jennifer's super fun
Christmas theme birthday party".

Great job.

Do you like it?

Love it.

Is this empty?

Thanks Ed. For coming. You never
like to go alone on such occasions.

Carl was one of my long time
adventure buddies.

He'll be missing, the old warrior.

How is he...? You already know...

Fell asleep. When skydiving.

Looking good bro.

So did you come here alone?

That's my husband.

I could drive you home.

What the...

Sorry.

Crap.

What? Damn it!

Sorry about this, Carl.

I don't know this guy.

So, grandpa.
How was the funeral yesterday?

Really nice. Thanks for asking.

How about you?
Anything exciting happen at school.

No. Unless you call
getting punched in the face.

By a a giant eight grader exciting.

Really?

Yep.

What happened?

He got a full load of orange juice
as soon as he opened up my backpack.

It's so weird right?

Hello boys.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, I'll set this stuff down
and I'll help you

to put the lights on the roof, Ed.

Thanks Arthur. I said "Arthur".

Don't you two make a nice team.

Jenny's birthday is
going to be so exciting.

All that's left to do is
find Santa Claus.

In early September
and I'll be done.

Don't you worry yourself. I know
Santa personally. Consider it done.

Thanks dad. That's so sweet.

That's the least I can do for Jenny.

Mom, before you say "no", hear me out.

Can Russell
come to Jennifer's birthday party?

- No.
- What?

Why? Peter's friends got to go.

That reminds me I invited
Jerry and the crew if that's okay.

Yeah, that's great.

And you don't see how unfair this is?

I hate you!

I don't wanna hear it.

Hey, Peter?

Yeah?

Listen ...you know In World War I,
the Germans and the British put
down their weapons on Christmas Eve.

In favor of celebrating rather than
fighting during the holiday.

Your sister's birthday is a
special occasion, it should be celebrated.

I guess you are right.

OK, then let's agree on a
temporary armistice for Jenny.

Deal?

Deal.

No!

Stop it! You are hurting me Au.

That looks like fun.

Yeah, lots of fun.

We like fun too.

I forgot, I got detention today.

Looks like you are on your own.

I have a question, Do you know
my grandson, Peter Decker?

Thought so.

- Dumpster.
- What?

Don't make it harder
than it has to be, kid.

Come on, fat man.

- Who are you guys?
- Come on!

Disciplinary Board.

Leave Peter alone, understood?

Overripe. Not your lucky day,
tough guy. Get him in there.

No! No! Not! No!

Nasty!

Get me out of here! Hello?

Wow!

Merry birthday, sweetheart.

It is quiet. Too quiet.

Billy, they agreed.
His grandpa is not gonna do anything.

If my grandpa makes a move I'll be ready
See that Santa's chair?

A booby trap it.

Did somebody say booby?

Go away, Steve.

The eggnog tastes funny.

Let me fix it for you.

Hey everybody! Guess Who's Here!

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas,
Here comes Santa!

- Yes, Santa Claus!
- Juchhu!

You better watch out,
You better not pout.

Toys and goodies.
I've got everything.

Wait a second. That's not my grandpa.

Ed?

No thanks. I've gotta stay alert.
Just in case.

Kid wouldn't have the cojones
to do anything. You shook on it.

You never know
you can't trust these kids.

Hey, Grandpa.

Hey. Nice party, pal?

Sure is, buddy but I...
I thought you were playing Santa Claus?

Me? No,
I'll leave that to the professionals.

Jerry has been more Santa ever
since he retired. Have a problem, Pete?

Why would that be a problem?

Just asking. Hey, you wanna hand me
one of those sodas over there?

Thanks, kiddo.

The kid is up to something, I can feel it.

That is just a coincidence.

Ho Ho Ho. And what's your name?

Let me guess. It wasn't a name 20 years ago
Am I right?

- Peter?
- Dad, what's up?

Do you know where Mia is? She's
supposed to help me with the hot dogs.

- Nope.
- Okay, come on I can use your help.

Hey grandpa. What happened to you?
You're all wet.

Some questions don't have answers, Pete.

Hey, cookie?

- No, It's okay.
- They're delicious.

- No, it is really fine.
- Especially this one.

- I'm good.
- You sure?

I'm sure.

Wanna help me get some mustard and ketchup
on this bad boys.

And get them out to the kids
before they get cold?

Sounds good, dad. I'll be the front row
you'll be the back?

You are the boss.

I'm so sorry. That just slipped.

I swear I didn't mean to do that.

What you gotta do?

Darn. Bottles
must be overly full.

Hey, dad? The Christmas lights are on
the fritz again could you check on them?

I'm on it.

Yeah, and Peter, check on the air pump
for the bouncy house?

It could be a little bit... bouncier.

What the heck is he up to now?

Grandpa!

Dad!

Dad!

Dad are you alright?

I'm Okay.
Found a quarter in it.

Peter, we said no pranks.

We shook hands on a man to man. What happened?

What are you talking about?

Grandpa, I swear
I didn't do that!

Santa is dead.

Okay, I might have do that.

That is not good.

Danny, Ed...

Did you see that? Epic.

Here comes Santa. Ho Ho Ho!

My franks!

Jerry! You alright?

What happened?

Fire!

Everybody get back! I've got this.

Dad, I'll get the hose.

Okay. Pull the grip, got it...

"Put away from face ..."
I am blind, I am blind!

I've got it!

Grandpa, get out of the way!

My Christmas tree!

My Christmas birthday cake!

What have we done?

No no!

Peter!

Hi, Mom.

Mia? Russell?

Don't you run away, Russell!

Nothing happened.

Okay, this in not my fault.

Hey help, anybody?

That's a pretty good
scrape there, Mr. Marino.

Yeah? You should see the tree.

Thank you.

What? What? It's nothing.
I'll be alright.

Sure you'll be alright.
Dad's always alright.

Doesn't need anyone's help
or love

Sally, please come on.

You could have been killed! Dad.

Come on, you're over dramatizing.
It was an accident, that's all.

- An accident?
- Yeah.

Well, do you think I don’t know
about the "war"?

Dad... or should I say "senior soldier"?

That.

What were you two thinking?

Don't blame the kid, Sally.
Please, it's all on me

I'm the grown up here,
I should've known better.

Yeah you should have.

I'm so sorry.
It just got out of hand.

I have the money to pay for everything.

I'll take my crew
and we'll fix everything the way it was.

It's not about the house
or the money, Dad.

If you hated living with us so much,
you just should have said it.

I never said I hated
living with you.

Exactly, I just said you never said.

Well I'm saying, I never said that.
We cleared that up, hopefully?

No! Forget about what you never said.

The, the point is I just thought
when you come home with us, you
realized that we loved you.

And you changed your mind
about living alone.

Of course that didn't happen.

You were so hell bent on...

Coming it up.

- Are you okay, Grandpa?
- Yeah, grandpa is fine.

Listen sweetheart, I’m really sorry about
what happened in your birthday party.

It's okay. I brought you something
to make you feel better.

That's very nice. But I gave
that to you, remember?

Don't you want it?

I think you need that more.
You can call it a loan.

That's very adult of you
sweetheart.

You'll be able to take him home soon.

The doctor just need to review
the x-rays.

We'll be in the waiting room.

Can I go see him now?

No, no. It will be a long time before
we leave the two of you

alone together again... ever.

Is he gonna be okay?

He'll be fine. You and Mia, on the
other hand, that's a different story.

You are both cho-grounded
for the next six months.

Cho-grounded? What does that even mean?

Chores plus grounded.

Time six months.

- What?
- Yeah, yeah.

So, that's a whole out of both, isn't it?

But I didn't even do half of the
stuff that Peter did. That is so not fair.

Can I be cho-grounded too?

No, sweetie, you don't
have to be cho-grounded.

Russell!

Don't you move a muscle!

What? Wait. Mom! Come on

Russell?!

Dad, can you think rationally...

Russell!

But she said not to move.

Get away from me!

Get back in, coward!

Come!

Okay, that's it. Mom is certifiably
insane. I'm going out there.

Wo, wo, wo. Hold on, hold on, I
know your mother. She can handle this.

You won't slam me, right, Mrs. Decker?

No.

What's happening right now?

What's happening right now is I'm not gonna
lose two years of my daughter, Russell.

Come on take it
before I change my mind.

Come by the house tomorrow.

Really?

Yeah. And bring some work clothes.

I have this giant hole on the second floor.
Needs fixing.

Okay.

How'd that go?

Thanks a lot mom.

I didn't hurt him.

Everything is gonna be alright.

Let's go get Grandpa and go home.

Excuse me, could you check on Mr. Marino,
see if he is ready to go?

He left already.
I thought you all left.

He said his brother was picking him up.

Brother?

Yeah. Chuck?

Chuck.

Who is Chuck?

Dad?

Ed?

Grandpa! Grandpa!

Grandpa!

Mom!

I just called the phone of
Jerry, he hasn't seen him.

I shouldn't have
pushed him so hard.

It's Peter's fault.
He needed grandpa to go away.

Yeah Peter. But at least you
got your room back, happy now?

Peter? You still with us.

I think I know where Grandpa went.

I like the fireplace a lot.
They don't make it like this anymore.

Thanks. You know there
are secrets inside these walls.

Wait!

I started this,
I'd like to be the one to end it.

Hi, Chuck.

- Grandpa!
- Peter.

What's going on? You moved
out of your room.

It's your room, kiddo.
It always was.

I've decided
I want you to have it.

I don't want you to leave, Grandpa.

Peter, I think we both know that
the room will always be between us.

No, it won't.
Besides, I love the attic.

I don't know why I got mad about the old,
smelly room in the first place.

Honest. See, you've gotta
come back.

It's not that easy, kiddo.

I'll do anything. I'll get back
every marble for you, I swear.

Pete.

Grandpa, please. I feel so ashamed
of how I acted

I just wanna crawl up
a ball and die.

It's all my fault.

No, don't you believe that for one second.
We both have fault.

You were just defending what was yours.

Maybe this is how a war gets started
and just goes on and on.

Your enemy does something bad to you,
so you do something worse back to him.

And he gets you back, and you get him back.

And the whole thing just gets
worse and worse.

And then at the end
somebody just drops a bomb.

Isn't it how it happens?

That's how it happens.

I never want to go to war.

I'm very glad to hear you say that.

And I hope to God
you'll never have to.

Can I tell you something more?

I kind of enjoyed messing
with the fellow crazy man.

Really?

Yeah. It helped me get off
of my sad grief of your grandmother.

Plus... you got me pretty good
a couple of times.

Not as good as you got me.

Yeah.

Please come home, Grandpa.

Come here.

3 MONTHS LATER

Well, Mr. Decker,
your sign it right there.

You know
I was gonna cut this tree down by myself.

But my wife has that whole
chainsaw thing.

You know I can use the chainsaw
any time I want.

Yeah, I believe that man,
if you need anything else.

Just give a call
at the office, alright?

I mean, I can use it
anytime I want.

A little more dignity, please.

It's just a chainsaw.
What? Did she say something?

Paz.

Hey grandpa. I'm ready to
go fishing.

Petey, I guess I forgot to tell you.
I can't take you fishing today.

Why? It's Saturday
we always go fishing. It's our thing.

I know, I know we do kiddo, and I wish I could.
But I made other plans. But we'll make up for it.

Like what?

A little matinée. Maybe visit that new gelato
place.

See? That's for me.
Gotta go. We'll make up for it.

It's everything alright?

Ha, just Peter.

Let's go.

Grandpa! Grandpa!

Hi, Grandpa.

- There!
- His fingers don't work!

No. Better this way.

- Too much?
- It fits!

Sorry!

Once again.

Once again.

I see you're doing...
I like it, stimulates blood circulation.

Russell! Russell! Russell!

You have to cut that out.

Shit sorry.
I've got a frog in my throat.

Do, Re, Mi, Fa, Sol, La, Si... ha ha ha.

Did he move?

The guy is still alive.

In the next episode you will see...

Let's do that again?

Hey how can I help you?
How can I dubby dub you?

- How can I help you?
- Dubby dubby dubby, Yeah!

No, it doesn't do anything. Moment...

- Come on now.
- Well, again.

- What don't you do.
- That's life.

And you actually drive that thing?

Hell, yes. It's fun! Fun!

What the hell was that?.

I didn’t know?
You were in the marines?

Come on. I'm just saying.

You are so silly.

Let's get him in!

I don't even know you guys.

OK, it's in the box!

...I work for some soul sucking
corporate firm.

That has no interests and cares
or worries of its...

Okay, cut. Good.

Good talk.