Original subtitles

DAYS TO CHRISTMAS

[ Engine Revs Outside ]

This is what's been worrying me.

Drilling sample number 76, from 1 300 foot.

See, we've finally found something else than just plain rocks and dirt.

Have a look foryourself, sir.

Sawdust. Mmm.

See, at first, I thought we'd drilled into some old tree or something.

But no.

This level ofsawdust is 65 foot thick.

I mean, it doesn't add up. It doesn't make sense.

It does.

In the olden days, people used to store ice...

by encasing it in sawdust.

Yeah, but what do you mean? What are you trying to say?

This mountain is like a giant icebox.

For storing what?

Drill deeper... and you will see.

[ Creaking In Distance ] Well, I am. They're drilling as we speak.

[ Men Shouting ]

Make sure everyone has one ofthese. What are these?

It's the new safety instructions.

Wash behind the ears. [ Chuckles ] This is funny shit, si—

Watch your mouth!

It's Christmastime, so let's act like it.

[ Engine Revs ]

[ Speaking Finnish ] Someone's coming. Shh.

[ Man Speaking English ] Mr. Greene, I think we've found something.

[ Engine Puttering ]

Sample number 98. I thinkyou were right.

Always believe.

Always.

Gentlemen, listen up.

My dream since my early childhood...

is about to come true.

I can proudly say...

that we are standing on a sacred grave.

On the biggest burial mound in the world.

[ In Finnish ] Someone's buried here.

[ Continues In English ] This remarkable place puts even the pyramids to shame.

It took the Sami people of Lapland...

centuries to build this mountain.

You have 24 days to open it.

Roll up your sleeves.

Prepare the dynamite.

Do what you do best. [ In Finnish ] They're going to blow it up.

You have a grave to rob.

[ In Finnish ] Juuso!

Juuso, wait!

BORDER ZONE. NO ACCESS

[ In Finnish ] I think Santa is buried up there.

[ Panting ]

Juuso, is Santa Claus dead?

What a baby. You still believe in Santa?

Come on.

They've been lying to us. To you.

Who was the Santa who came to our house then?

Mr. Piiparinen. Haven't you figured that out yet?

Do you think Dad knows?

Your dad pays him for it.

Don't you get it? This whole Christmas thing isjust a bluff.

[ Explosion ]

THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA CLAUS

THE FIRST SANTA CLAUS

WHO'S BEEN NAUGHTY?

Santa walking barefoot in the snow.

Ancient Santa by his cauldron.

DAY TO CHRISTMAS

[ Grunting ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Wolves Howling ]

Pietari!

[ In Finnish ] Wake up, Son!

[ Bang ] [ Yelps ]

[ Groans ]

[ Father In Finnish ] Pietari! Are you awake?

[ In Finnish ] Yeah, yeah! Then go and get cleaned up!

[ Bell Jingles ]

Vuppe, bad boy. You were supposed to keep watch.

[ Gasps ]

[ Door Creaks ]

[ Banging ]

Dad!

Come here, Dad!

Come inside ifyou have something to say.

I don't want to.

You shouldn't be out there alone.

Really, I've got something important to tell you.

Really, the wolves will gobble you up.

And I'm not kidding.

Dad, I'm coming in now.

Close your eyes, Son. Daddy's working.

[ Thudding ]

You shouldn't have turned the lights off.

Who'd ever look at them at night?

- Have you been on the roof? - What?

Outside my window?

I'm too busy to answer stupid questions.

- Have you or haven't you? - No, I haven't.

Maybe the chimney sweep—

Go and get dressed! We're leaving soon.

Where to?

Don't you rememberwhat day it is?

Yeah, the round-up. You're taking me along?

I thought you'd be dressed by now.

He's spying on us.

This is yours now.

Is it loaded?

Ofcourse, or it'd be useless. And take those goggles off.

Have you got a light?

Where's your dad?

They had to take the snowmobiles.

Piiparinen couldn't get the chopper started.

Keep away from the fence! Three, two, one!

[ Men Shouting ] Whoa!

You really think you can use that? Ofcourse I can.

You gonna shoot Santa Claus? He was outside my window last night.

I thought you said he was dead.

Electric fence. How do you like it?

Protection.

The explosions in the mountain have sent the wolves on the prowl.

[ Father ] Wonderwhat they're digging up there?

Just samples, I guess.

Look!

[ Chuckles ] They're coming!

[ Cheering ]

[ Pietari ] Dad, Dad!

They're coming!

Our freezers will soon be brimming with meat.

Open the gate.

Out ofthe way!

Come on!

Get in here, now! What's keeping you?

[ Blonde Man ] Two skinny runts.

Something's wrong.

Maybe the others got lost.

No, they didn't.

[ Engines Stop ]

Merry Christmas.

You stay here.

Me, too? Keep an eye on Pietari.

What kind ofwolves would do this?

Big and nasty ones. Come and take a look.

Those morons and their blasting!

Now we have to deal with Russian wolves as well!

They found the hole.

This was cut with pliers.

This is our fault.

Ifyou go crying to your dad, I'll give you a flogging.

We were never anywhere near the gate.

We should shoot that lot of idiots.

[ Blonde Man ] They've probably gone by now. It's been quiet for days.

[ Dark Haired Man ] If it wasn't for that border, I'd make minced meat ofthem.

[ Blonde Man ] We have insurance, right? No, we bloody well don't.

433 carcasses.

Aimo, how much is that worth?

Around $85,000.

Plus 22% VAT.

All that money's been rotted away.

[ Sniffs ]

He sure was hungry.

What do we do?

We'll pay them a little visit.

Nuts!

The guards have been paid to shoot anyone who comes near.

Crossing the border is not a small thing.

Neither is bankruptcy.

Pietari, come on!

[ Engine Stops ] This was one hell ofan idea!

[ Radio Chatter ]

[ Chatter, Static ]

[ Chatter, Static Continue ]

These boys left in a hurry.

[ Grunts, Mutters ] [ Objects Clatter ]

[ Wind Howls ]

[ Bang Echoes ]

[ Yells ] Come and see!

[ Radio Chatter Continues ]

They found him, Vuppe.

Seismic researchers, my ass! They've excavated something.

What on earth did they dig up?

[ Wind Howls ] [ Metal Creaking ]

So much for that.

[ Metal Creaking ]

[ Bird Hooting ]

What are you doing? Aren't you going to open it?

No.

Tape these on your bum.

Are you serious?

How do I look?

Like a kid in a diaper.

You brought me here just for this?

Look.

The real Santa was totally different. The Coca-Cola Santa isjust a hoax.

These are from some fairy tale.

This isn't.

What is this? Proofthat some fairy tales are true.

What am I looking at here?

The real Santa Claus. He tears naughty kids to pieces.

Not even their skeletons are left.

How did he end up there?

[ Sighs ] The Sami people got angry and lured him onto the ice.

The ice broke under him.

The lake froze solid and Santa was trapped.

Come summer, they dug out the huge ice block...

and buried it under a sky-high pile of rocks.

And it became Korvatunturi Mountain? Yep.

[ Laughs ] You're such an idiot.

[ Sighs ]

When did you last get smacked? When I was little, I guess.

Do you think we should confess?

Listen, you brat.

You have any idea what your dad will do...

when he hears that those reindeer died because ofyou?

[ Engine Rumbling ]

Are you making gingerbreads? Are you hungry?

Yeah.

[ Sighs ]

Were you playing hockey?

[ Sighs ] No, it'sjust this game we play.

Pretty rough game?

Yeah.

These are good.

Just like Mum used to make them.

I'm glad to hear it.

[ Breathing Heavily ]

Dad, what if I didn't exist?

What do you mean?

If I disappeared.

You should disappear...

to your bed. It's late.

Dad, do you think I've been good?

All good boys are in bed by now.

Merry Christmas, Dad.

Merry Christmas, Pietari.

[ Sniffles ]

[Jingle Lightly ]

[ Man On Radio In English ] This is Subzero One.

[ In English ] Oh, finally. We've tried contacting you a thousand times.

Where are you?

We are landing tomorrow. Is the cargo ready? No!

We had to cancel the whole operation.

It's not what you think. I repeat:

Is the cargo ready?

Cargo? Don't you understand? It still has a pulse!

Calm down, Mr. Greene. Just follow the safety instructions.

Fuckyour safety instructions!

[ Metallic Thumping ] What the fuck?

[ Men Yelling ]

[ Wind Howling ]

DAYS TO CHRISTMAS

[ Chatter on Radio ]

[ Wind Howling ]

[ Yells ]

[ In Finnish ] Stay there. I have to check it.

Do you think this is funny? I almost got killed.

You are not going skating now! You're grounded this Christmas.

I have to wee.

Come on, Vuppe. Let's go out.

[ Gasps ]

[ Breathing Heavily ]

Dad! Dad!

[ Rifle Cocks ]

What is it? The bait's gone!

[ Zipper Zips ]

Careful now.

Stay there.

Did you hear me?

Stay!

Some kind of bird.

What is it?

Nothing.

Can I look? No.

Some bird took the meat.

I want to see it! There's nothing down there.

Why can't I look then?

Because we haven't even had breakfast yet.

Is this really all we're having?

These are good.

If I eat these, can I go and look down in the pit then?

Then you'll have some more.

Are you angry with me?

No.

[ Vehicle Approaches ]

Wait here.

[ Shouts ] Did you hear me?

[ Quietly ] You're grounded.

[ Footsteps Leave ]

[ Door Opens, Shuts ] [ Father, In Finnish, Angrily ]

[ Man ] Just preparing for my Santa gig. [ Father ] Shut up and follow me.

[ Whispers ] Come on, Vuppe.

[ Groans ] [ Exhales ]

He shouldn't have come snooping around in people's yards.

Greene, Brian Jonathan.

Born 1 952.

Must be one ofthose nutters from the mountain.

Not even 60 years old.

[ Bell Jingles ]

[ Sighs ]

What are you going to say?

To who?

Everyone.

Nothing.

You know those wolf pits are illegal.

Darn it, Piiparinen!

Like it or not, you're in this too.

- I should— - Shut up...

and think, ifyou know how.

I have an hour to my first Santa stop.

Vuppe, stay.

[ Machine Whirring ]

[ Stops Machine ]

Did you see that?

He's breathing. Tough old codger.

What is he doing?

He smells something.

Pietari.

Pietari!

You were supposed to stay inside!

Pietari, come back here now!

Did Pietari see him? What do you think?

I have to go. What do I do with him?

Have a little chat.

The cops!

Pietari, Pietari!

Blast it all.

[ Mutters ]

What's he up to?

- Hiya. - Hi.

- Why the fancy dress? - What?

- Is everything in order? - What do you mean?

What a morning! I've been all around the village.

Strange stuff going on.

Well, everything's fine here. Right, Pietari?

Then you're an exception.

You brought the whole murder squad?

What's the problem here? My other business.

A couple of hundred sacks of potatoes, my whole harvest.

I'm here because ofsome potatoes?

Yes and no.

They only took the sacks.

Holy mackerel.

Almost every house got their radiators stolen last night.

Torn offthe walls.

It's going to be one cold Christmas.

My wife's hair dryer was stolen from the bathroom.

Who'd want an old piece of rubbish like that?

It's cutting-edge technology in Russia.

- Pietari, we should be getting home. - No!

- Where'sJuuso? - Still sleeping, I guess.

Not so fast. Let's take a look at your car.

Juuso.

Juuso, wake up! He's at our place now.

Juuso!

Juuso's been taken!

What the devil is that? It was in Juuso's bed.

Maybe he's out chasing girls.

When we were your age...

we'd stack up some pillows and pretend...

He'll be back by nightfall.

- Don't you get it? - Pietari, that's enough!

Can I go now? Okay, go.

Aimo, you speak English, right?

How come?

We need an interpreter.

Disgusting!

[ Whispers in English ] Hello?

[ In Finnish ] You old devil.

[ Sniffing ] Hmm?

Gingerbread?

Ah-ah.

[ Bites ]

[ Speaks Weakly ] Hmm?

[ Whispers ]

What do you want me to translate? I've got stuffto do.

We've got visitors from Korvatunturi Mountain.

Visitors? American visitors.

[ Vehicle Approaches ]

[ Engine Stops ]

Now, in you go.

Daddy! We have to helpJuuso. Nonsense.Juuso is a big boy.

So?

We can't go back in there. It's not human.

Not human? Not human!

The old swine bit me! Look at that.

I have to see this. I'm not kidding.

[ Cocks Rifle ]

See foryourselves. There's something really weird about him.

- Don't you think? - He's a foreigner.

Go talk to him.

Be careful.

[ In English ] How do you like the land ofthe northern lights?

[ Quietly, In Finnish ] I'm not going there alone.

Right.

Cover me.

[ Rifle Cocks ]

He's harmless.

[ In English ] Wake up, Grandpa!

[ In English ] We need money.

Sorry to disturb you on Christmas Eve, but is Hemppa in?

Oh, he isn't.

Okay. Thanks anyway.

No, I haven't seen him.

Merry Christmas. Bye.

[ Phone Beeps ]

Give me the broom.

[ Grunts ] [ In English ] Where are your friends?

[ In Finnish ] Ask him what they were digging up.

[ In English ] What did you dig inside the mountain?

[ In Finnish ] He's acting deaf. An old trick.

Tell him we'll keep him here until someone pays up.

[ Whispers ] You mean as a hostage? Yes.

- Tell him! - [ In English ] We keep you here till somebody pay.

[ In Finnish ] You're making him angry. He doesn't understand you.

[ In Finnish ] This wasjust phase one.

[ Rifle Cocks ]

[ In English ] Last chance, asshole.

Rauno here will ask the next question.

And he don't speak English.

[ Knocking ] What was that?

[ Pietari ] Dad! [ Rauno ] What does he want now?

[ Pietari ] Dad, I have to talk to you!

I'm just doing a littlejob with Piiparinen. What is it?

You need to smack me.

What? I deserve to be smacked.

Fifteen good lashes should do.

What's the matter with you?

[ Rattling ] I've been naughty.

[ Banging ] [ Men Shouting, Indistinct ]

What have you done?

Juuso and I went up to the mountain,

and we made that hole in the fence.

You did what?

I'm the only one left, Dad.

All the others have been taken. Juuso, too.

What are you talking about?

All the kids.

Rauno, you have to see this.

[ Aimo Shouting ] Wait here.

He's up to something. And, look.

He bit it in half.

[ Rauno ] Look at his eyes.

[ Piiparinen ] What is he looking at?

Pietari!

Don't!

Do you know this bloke from somewhere?

He seems to know you.

He knows all the kids.

Who is he? Come on, speak up!

He's been spying on us.

What do you mean? Tell me!

He's Santa Claus.

He's come to get me. They dug him up from the mountain.

A character from a fairy tale.

I knew there was something fishy going on.

- He's going to attack! - Daddy, don't let him take me!

On the ground! Tell him in English!

[ In English ] Down! Down boy!

Go down!

[ In Finnish ] He has his own language.

- [ Pietari ] He's not afraid ofyou. - He sure is.

Tie him up.

No way. Now!

[ Squeaking ]

[ Chains Squeaking ]

[ Loud Static On Radio ]

What was that?

[ Man In English ] Subzero One. Do you read me?

[ Aimo In Finnish ] It's coming from thatjacket.

Careful!

Mr. Greene? Is everything okay?

[ Man In English ] We are landing in 30 minutes.

What did he say? They want him back.

[ Man In English ] Mr. Greene? Is Santa ready to fly?

Don't they? What are you doing?

Shh.

[ In Finnish ] This is Rauno.

[ In English ] Rauno from Finland.

[ In English ] We have Santa Claus.

[ Man On Radio ] Who is this?

[ Man On Radio ] Where is Mr. Greene?

Tell him we have Santa for sale.

[ Cocks Gun ]

How much are you going to ask for him?

Enough to cover the debt. At least.

Maybe we should think it over. Are you scared?

We're giving him up too easily.

Just think what he could be worth.

The original, real Santa Claus.

Someone is going to get rich with him.

That's the plan.

[ Brakes Screech ]

[ Helicopter Approaches ]

Dad! Stay here, we won't be long.

My wife's hair dryer! What the hell...

Put that hair dryer away. Keep cool.

What a midget.

[ In English ] Who are you? Where are my men?

[ In Finnish ] Say something.

[ In English ] Yeah, yeah. We are men. Let's do business.

Business? What kind of business?

What do you want?

[ In Finnish ] How much do we want? $85,000.

[ In English ] $85,000.

[ In Finnish ] At least a million. Shut up.

[ In English ] Hey. Where is the cargo?

[ Wind Howling ]

[ In Finnish ] The last door.

[ In English ] Shh! Put down your weapons and smile...

And move slowly and do exactly as I say.

[ In Finnish ] What did he say? We need to keep quiet.

- [ In English ] This is not Santa. - What?

It's one ofSanta's little helpers.

[ In Finnish ] What do you mean, a helper? He says it's an elf!

Enough ofthis rubbish! Give us the money!

[ English Man ] God damn it.

Santa is going to find out who is naughty or nice.

[ Screaming ]

[ In Finnish ] What's up with him?

Is someone there?

What's that running there?

What on earth is happening here?

[ In English ] They're protecting their master.

[ Object Whirring ]

Pietari! Pietari!

Pietari!

[ Rhythmic Thumping ]

The elves have built a nest for Santa.

[ Heart Beating ]

Forwhat?

- Is that... - Yes.

They're trying to defrost him.

[ Quiet Whining ]

[ Boy ] Dad! Shh! What was that?

[ Boy ] Daddy, help.

[ Aimo ] Juuso.

They're all here. And soon they will get smacked.

[ Finnish ]

Dad! Juuso, where are you?

[ Children Crying ] Turn offthe heat!

Juuso, say something.

Piiparinen, the door won't hold!

[ Piiparinen ] What should I do?

[ Children Crying ] Barricade the door.

Move these there!

Aimo, leave the kid and come and help us.

Daddy's little boy.

Let's go home, Daddy. Don't worry, we'll get home soon.

[ Children Crying ]

We are all going to die!

Dad!

Aimo!

Piiparinen!

Listen to me!

As long as the kids are here,

the elves won't leave the hangar.

It's either me or Santa.

I suggest Santa.

It's Piiparinen. Pietari, do you read?

I do.

[ Piiparinen In English ] Ready for takeoff. Copy that.

Why do I have to go in the sack?

Because it's my plan. Let's go!

Here's one more. NotJuuso!

All the kids have to go, or this won't work.

Daddy, I'm scared. Piiparinen, the package is ready.

Won't they get cold out there? Stay out ofthis.

Don't worry, Dad. I'll be fine.

Ready to go!

You do yourjob, I'll deal with this!

[ Pietari ] Slow down, we'll wait here.

Piiparinen, look down!

They're following us! What did I tell you?

Let's turn around, Piiparinen!

What?

- Towards the pens! - What for?

Pretend they are reindeer!

Reindeer! Stars alive!

That's what we'll do.

Yahoo!

[ Sighs ]

Looks like we've been naughty.

Ifyou ever wondered how Santa can be...

in a zillion places all at once, nowyou know.

That's the magic ofChristmas.

[ Chain Saw Revs ]

[ Wind Blows ]

[ Groans ]

Piiparinen, the gate's closed!

Fiddlesticks! We need a new plan.

There isn't time! I'll go and open it!

You're not going anywhere!

I can't land there to bring you back up.

I'm not coming back.

Pietari, can you hear me?

Pietari!

Piiparinen!

Tell Dad what I did.

Daddy.

Have a merry Christmas.

And a happy bloody New Year.

[ Helicopter Whirs ] [ Laughter ]

How do you like that, elves?

What happened?

The miracle ofChristmas.

Congratulations, Pietari! Congratulations!

You just put the elves out ofa job. [ Giggles ]

Take the kids home. It's their bedtime.

Roger. Over and out.

1 98 Santa Clauses.

Juuso, what's that worth?

How much for one?

$85,000.

Around $1 6,800,000.

Plus 22% VAT.

You're quite a man. So are you.

DAYS TO CHRISTMAS

Nothing in there foryou, fuzz face!

DAYS TO CHRISTMAS