Original subtitles

Shit!

What's up? Where are you, Maru?

We're leaving. Open the door!

Where are you, Paquita la del Barrio?

I don't understand why we came to this farce of a wedding.

Just look at them! Such cynics!

No one believes you!

That's why I'm never getting married.

You're not getting married, Maru,

because your boyfriend never gave you a ring.

Shut up, stupid!

Oh, yeah! Long live the newlyweds.

But how about two weeks ago?

Him, too?

-Yeah. -Arthur?

You don't know the things he does!

Give it to me! Give it to me!

Very good.

Long live the newlyweds!

We are two. Two.

-What's your name, sir? -Camilo Escobar.

Escobar. And you, sir, what's your name?

-Me? Renato. -Renato what?

-Zamarripa. -Zamarripa. Escobar.

I'm sorry, sir, you are not on the list.

-What? -You're not on the list.

That's a problem because we have to get in

to talk to Arthur, friend.

-Bye. -No, no! I can't, I'm sorry. No...

I can't.

Are you serious, Cadaver!

Came to Acapulco and weren't invited!

You're something else, man!

I was invited, man! Fucking Arthur told me so.

He said: "You're invited, Cadaver. Don't miss the party."

Well, you're not on the list, man! You're not...

When have I failed you? Wait...

He can drop dead, right?

He doesn't know the kind of woman he dumped.

No, he doesn't know. He won't find anyone like you.

-Ever! -My little Maru, babe...

why do we have to get married?

Then he dumps me and goes to Cuba!

Ciao, bye, sayonara!

Your name was...

Ice, ice! The ice is here!

You're the man!

Cheers!

-Man, there's Maru. -Who's Maru?

See the one in the red dress? The one next to her.

It's always the same.

What's up, Maru?

-Don't you remember me? -Not at all.

I give them a year.

I sent you a friend request on Facebook...

-about six months ago. -Yeah?

-Why? -So we could chat and...

-Hey. -What?

-Let's go. -Wait. Wait!

Girls, can we sit down?

Children, why don't you go find your parents?

That was good. Really good.

Really good.

Yuck.

-Dry yourself off. -Don't touch me!

What?

What are you looking at?

Ladies and gentlemen, let the party begin.

Hurry up or I'll piss myself!

Damn!

Are you okay?

-Why are you grabbing me? -You almost fell...

Why do you keep staring at me?

Do you wanna kiss me, or what?

Pau!

Dani!

ONE MONTH LATER

Maru, are you okay?

Yeah.

No way!

We have to get together!

I can't believe it, Maru! We're going to be aunts.

-Congratulations! -Wait just a minute...

Let me see. Maru, don't make that face. Now I'm worried.

Doesn't Juan Pablo want it?

It's just that... It isn't Juan Pablo's.

What?

Do you remember who I was with at the wedding?

-You're kidding, right? -No, for real.

I don't remember who I was with.

-But he's the father. -Weren't you cautious?

I stopped taking the pill when Juan Pablo dumped me.

No way! No, I mean, you can give up milk, alcohol, fat...

-Gluten. -Right.

-Gluten is bad for you. -You can stop fucking,

but even so you never stop taking the pill, ever! Maru!

How's I to know I'd end up

-with a guy I don't even know? -Oh, no. How could that happen?

You were not on the rebound after

spending five years with a guy who didn't give you a ring.

-That would've been -Paulina...

the best day of your life, you weren't half drunk.

-Like my mother! -How'd that

-happen, Maru? Give me a break! -I need to know who the guy is.

Maru, didn't he wear a condom?

-Gross! -I don't know.

What will you do if you get AIDS?

-A sore! -Chlamydia!

-Gonorrhea! -Syphilis!

-Trichomoniasis! -What?

What is that?

-It exists, it itches like hell... -Did you get it?

-I've been told. -Alright!

Thanks!

Really? Don't you remember anything, Maru?

Shit.

The pictures!

The pictures of the wedding!

Of course, the pictures.

Here's one.

Dani.

-Delete that picture! -No, I won't delete it.

Delete that picture, Paulina. Say something.

You shouldn't have pissed with the door open.

You posed for this. You're screwed.

That's really low, man!

Hey, who's this little guy? He's in a lot of pictures.

Aren't they the ones who sat at our table?

Of course! Now I remember!

Look, here they are.

-And here. -And here.

-Oh, no! -What?

I just remembered...

Is that him, Maru?

-He could be your son! -Yeah, he is really young.

Who is he?

Hey! What's up?

Hey, Lau, how are you? Where are you?

Oh, great, we just got to Dubai. Just imagine!

Oh, honeymooning in Dubai.

What a trip, so come back already!

-No way! No pain, no gain! -Yes, of course!

Hey, just a quick question...

Daniela is sending you a picture on WhatsApp.

Tell me if you know the guy in it.

The one with a vintage suit.

Let me see.

Who? Oh, that cutie?

-Do you know him? -Not a clue.

He could be one of Arthur's friends, right?

I don't think so, I have never saw him.

-Why don't you ask him? -Let me see.

Love, it's Paulina. She wants to know if you know this guy.

Who, that dude? Of course I don't know him.

Just look at him, he's a nobody.

-Why would I know him? -Okay, chill out!

No, eh! Not a clue.

-Why, do you like him? -No way. I'll tell you later.

If he remembers... Have him call if he remembers.

Then you have no idea who he is?

Nope. He's probably some party crasher.

Okay, Lau, I'll let you go. A kiss. Say hi to Arthur.

And bring me a millionaire from Dubai.

Okay, love you. Bye.

No one knows who he is.

You really fucked up.

Rana, the Frog!

-La Rana! -What? Is that a position?

The guy in the picture you asked me about.

He's called Rana.

-No way, Arturo! What the fuck? -Yeah. He's Cadaver's friend.

Who the fuck is Cadaver?

He's the Colombian, the dealer.

Oh, no. It can't be!

-What? -What do you mean what?

I'm about to come and you're thinking about frogs?

They call him La Rana. He's Cadaver's friend. Watch out!

Now let me get back to fucking, it's my honeymoon!

Thanks for calling, Lau.

Why don't you learn to open the door, you mutt?

No way!

What's up, Maru?

-Long time no see! -Hi, how are you?

Fine.

What a nice surprise. What brings you here?

Well, Plutarco, could you wait in the car a minute?

-I want to ask a favor. -You wanna come in?

Well, yeah. That might be best.

-Are you moving? -No, it's not contraband.

So, welcome.

-Give me a minute. -Here?

Sorry... Has he been vaccinated?

Yes.

-Ready. -Wow.

My goodness!

-Damn! -Damn!

Damn Rafa! Why do you watch that filth on my computer?

I'm going to tell mom.

I'm sorry, it's just that...

I have a teenage brother who

is exploring his body and borrows my stuff.

So... What a nice surprise.

-Who gave you my address? -Arthur.

-Oh, damn Arthur. -Yeah, him.

Okay, well I live here with my grandma, see?

It's temporary. I'm moving to my own place...

-That's great! -Yeah, yeah.

I heard you have a friend called Rana?

-Renato? -I don't know.

-They call him Rana. -Ah, no.

-No? -No, no.

Didn't you... You went to the wedding with him.

I saw you in the pictures with him.

-Oh, that Rana! -Yeah.

-Rana, yes. -Yes, Rana, yes.

-Did he steal from you? -Huh?

Damn Rana, what an asshole. What an asshole!

Let's visit him, beat the shit out of him.

No, I mean, not that I know, but...

So, you know where he lives then?

No.

But you said: We'll go to his house and...

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

-My son will be right here. -Thank you, ma'am.

So, where did you meet my little Renato?

At a wedding.

Oh, I thought you were in high school equivalence together.

High school?

No, I... I finished college.

I have a Master's in Social Development.

Oh, a graduate!

Then you're older than my little Renato.

You like them young, eh? Cradle robber.

No, not really, ma'am.

You have no idea how the neighbors come on to him.

That's why I tell him if he messes around

-to wear a condom. -Ah, well, you should tell him

more often because sometimes he forgets, you know?

Don't tell me you...

-You lucky thing! -No, no, what are you thinking?

-No way, ma'am. -I thought he was still a virgin.

Not you, my little Renato.

He never tells me anything, you know?

I'm going to give you some advice, woman to woman.

It's not right for you to go looking for him.

You won't get anything.

Men are bastards, sweetie.

You show them a little interest, they just use you and leave.

That's what happened with his father, when I was young.

We met every Monday at this cheap hotel.

Over by Alvaro Obregon.

-Niza Hotel, do you know it? -No, I haven't had the pleasure.

Well, you're not missing much. There are better ones now.

So the bastard...

was married with two kids. Little kids.

You should have heard him

all the times he promised me he was getting a divorce!

That his wife didn't understand him

and I was the love of his life.

He used to call me his little grape!

But it was my fault. You know why?

Because all he wanted was sex.

And one day, I said: Oh yeah? So I got pregnant.

Yeah, well it runs in the family!

Hey, mom.

Oh, shit! I thought it was someone else.

Maru, hey. Wait up!

Wait, Maru. What can I do for you?

Nothing. You haven't even finished high school.

No way! You live with your momma. That's all I need!

-Wait, don't go! -Don't touch me!

-What do you want? -Me?

Come on. You come looking for me

and all of a sudden you stand up and leave.

What? How did you know where I live?

Your friend the smuggler told me. And get dressed already!

You think you're hot or what?

-You're pitiful, my friend. -I was taking a bath.

Hey, wait.

Let's go back to the house, I'll get dressed and talk.

Don't worry, I can tell you now.

I'm pregnant!

What?

-Congratulations! -Congratulations?

Is that bad?

No, it's not bad. It's fucked up!

Maru, wait. If there's anything I can do...

Thanks a lot! How sweet! Really?

No, you and I never met or crossed paths.

I don't want to see you ever again.

Why not?

Why? Because next time you should listen to your mother

and wear a condom. Asshole!

You know what? Do me a favor.

What'd you think? I nabbed the rich chick?

Well, I don't shit gold! So I hope you'll show

some responsibility and pay for half the abortion.

-And don't think it will be cheap. -What do you mean abortion?

Yes, write down my phone number. I have to go.

-You'll get an abortion? -Here's my number.

-I have to go. -Where? I didn't bring...

Okay, give me yours.

55 44 22...

Oh, wait, that's my old lady's.

I'm sorry, it's just that...

they start the same 55 44...

23 78 82...

-but I don't have any credit. -What?

I have no credit.

Don't worry. I'll borrow 100 pesos

from mom and buy some.

Don't bother. I know where you live.

You killed it, eh?

You crash a wedding you weren't invited to,

you really lucked out!

You hook up with the hottest chick at the party and you...

Don't laugh!

You took advantage of me. You come into my room

and fuck me without me knowing it and then you disappear.

You're a faggot!

Just like your father!

How do you know what my father is like?

An abortion, the easy way out.

I don't agree, eh? That's my opinion.

Daniela, she isn't going to have a baby with some guy

she doesn't even know. He doesn't go to school,

doesn't have a job, he's broke.

Lives with his mother, a nutcase.

Well, next time watch who you hook up with.

-What a bitch. Really? -Why?

How did you make out with the Brazilian?

-Hey. -Hey!

Dani. I was looking for you.

He isn't Brazilian, he's Argentinian.

So?

And that was the weekend I broke up with Adrian.

Oh, right. So he saw an opening and scored.

You got back with him on Monday?

Yeah, I've never cheated on Adrian.

-Never. -Hello.

Can we talk, Maru?

Juan Pablo, what are you doing here?

Well, I'll leave you. You have a lot to talk about, right?

Think about what you're going to do, Maru and...

I would ask Juan Pablo's advice.

-Advice about what? -Have her tell you...

Maru, call me.

I'll support whatever you decide, okay?

-Thanks, Pau. -No, I'm not talking to you, man.

You have nothing to do with it.

Don't go.

Can I sit down?

-Really, dude. -Pregnant?

You didn't tell me, asshole.

You fucked Maru. No shit, man,

you really scored big time.

And what are you going to do?

I'm a man, right? I'm going for it.

No way!

Don't you see?

-What? -I'm going to be a father.

Right, so take a hit to celebrate.

A dad!

Do you know where Maru lives?

I'm thinking about what to say to her. I mean,

-what can I say? -Just that!

Just that! That you thought about it... To give you a chance,

that you'll take care of the kid, man.

Look secure, responsible, dude.

Then you move into her house.

Can you imagine?

She must have two maids, man.

To make you quesadillas and take them to your room.

No washing dishes or making beds.

Her parents will probably buy you a car, dude.

-I don't think so. -What do you mean?

And after you settle in...

you invite me to watch the game.

No, no, no. Hold on!

-No, don't even get out. -What's with that guy?

The mother of your child with another dude.

That's not cool, man.

Please give me another chance. I swear I won't let you down.

Should've thought about that before going to Cuba.

No, Maru, no. I swear I didn't hook up with anyone.

Right. I was born yesterday! You know what? Just forget it.

Maruchi, listen to me. I...

I want to marry you.

What?

Maru, don't have an abortion.

I thought it over! I'll take care of the baby.

-Who is this asshole? -Asshole?

I'm the father of her child, you fuck! Who are you?

Hey, calm down!

Shit.

Juan Pablo, what's your problem?

Are you alright?

I'm going to beat you up, asshole!

What a letdown! You recriminating me about Cuba

while you were sleeping with that dumb shit!

You are a bitch, babe!

Leave me alone!

Maru, wait! Don't do it! It's not the baby's fault!

-What are you doing here? -Can we talk?

-Maru, look what I brought you. -How embarrassing!

What are you doing with that? How do you know where I work?

What are you doing? What's wrong with you?

-Maru, don't be mad! -Really, this is embarrassing!

-Give us a chance, okay? -Us? Who are you talking about?

What do you mean who? Me! Our child!

Listen, you show up here again and I'll

have Plutarco give you another black eye. Get it?

-You damn stalker! -Why?

-Plutarco! -Miss, please...

-Please, okay? -Yes, don't worry about it.

Maru, think it over, okay?

Just take it down a couple of notches, kid, eh?

And keep at it, man. That's how it works with women.

How's he know where I work? Let's go.

Gosh, who knows how he...

We're just in time.

The fetus is growing, it's up to you.

And how... would it be?

Do you have to hospitalize me or...?

No, no, not at all. It would be right here in the office.

It's quick, no more than half an hour.

And if all goes well...

What do you mean?

Well, it is a procedure and there is always a risk.

It's minimal, but there is one.

And all goes well?

Yes, everything is okay.

You should have your partner come with you that day.

So you'll be more relaxed.

Um, I don't... have a boyfriend. Can you introduce me to someone?

No, no, you're too old.

Well, I'd better bring a girlfriend.

Okay, when shall I schedule it?

-Time is passing! -Yes.

-Aren't you going to pitch in? -Can I have a drag?

-When did you start smoking? -An impulse.

-Give me a drag. -No.

-One puff. -No, you'll slobber on it.

-Here, take one. -Just a drag. No big deal.

I'm going to talk to Francisco later.

Maru, what are you doing?

Don't smoke, it's bad for the baby!

So, the cat is out of the bag!

I don't even know who he is.

He's cute, isn't he?

Okay, relax. Everything will be just fine.

You know, I think I'd rather...

go in alone.

-Are you sure? -No, come with me!

Maru...

-Please listen to me. -No, let me see...

Just listen to me. You're still in time...

I'm sorry, no, you went too far.

This really isn't funny.

-Don't do it. -Really, enough is enough.

Maru...

Hey, give her a break!

It's that way...

so I've been told.

No, how can I not abort now?

I couldn't do it.

What?

I chickened out.

-Then, our son is...? -He's on his way.

What do you mean our son? I have him in my belly, you dork.

-Ranita, you're alive, son! -What's with you?

-I'm your father! -Let go of me!

I'm going to be a dad!

-I love you both! -No, shut up.

No one loves anyone here!

Or I'll go right back in and abort!

-I'll have an abortion. -No!

Our child will hear us! They can already feel things.

-Come in. -So, is your mother home?

Your mother in law? She isn't.

She's not my mother in law. She wishes!

Renato, you and I need to have a serious talk.

She is your mother in law!

You lucky fuck!

-Shit! -Really, man.

So when are you moving in with her?

I don't know, we didn't talk about that, but...

soon, I think.

This time she was really different.

-Really sweet. -Having the baby is one thing,

but that doesn't mean I want anything to do with you, eh?

You bet, dude. It was only a matter of time. She's in!

Yeah, we were talking about our future, man...

It was awesome.

We have no future as a couple, so don't get any ideas.

Are you going to have more kids?

I think so. I mean she didn't come out and say so but...

You can sense it.

You bet your ass! You're connected! It's the universe!

Fuck!

Have you picked your godfather yet?

No.

We didn't talk about that.

Well, I'm available, dude.

If you want, I could...

-That would be awesome. -No pressure.

No, for sure. Done!

Compadres, dude!

Cool!

All we need now is the godmother.

Because there are always two but, hey,

-you can let her choose. -Of course.

Yes, yes, let her choose.

It could be, I don't know...

Anyone and the four of us could go out on dates.

The four of us clubbing!

Partying!

It could be Dani or Pau.

Or does she have a hotter friend?

I don't know. I don't think so.

Make it Dani, then. She is beyond hot.

Do you remember that red dress she wore at the wedding?

Dude, she wasn't wearing a bra.

I have dedicated a few to her, man, haven't you?

No way, man, that's my girlfriend's friend!

It's settled then. She'll be the comadre.

So, what are you going to do with him?

-Why don't you give him a shot? -A shot at what?

-After all, he is the father. -No way, Paulina. How could I?

It's worth a try.

If he's a no good loafer, you dump him.

Come off it, Paulina. Cut the bullshit.

You can't marry him.

-I don't plan to marry him. -It's not bullshit.

-I'm not saying they should marry. -What's your idea?

-They could just live together. -What?

Besides, he is cute!

There you go! You'd feast your eyes daily

like a real hot sexy momma.

You're going to be one, you deserve it.

Besides, the baby is going to be good looking.

-And that's important. -Please!

And by the way, what do the senator and the first lady say about this?

So, where did you meet this... young man?

His name is Renato. He's Cadaver's best friend.

-Take off your jacket. -Why?

Cadaver?

Arthur's friend. The one who married Lau.

-I met him at the wedding. -We met at the hitching.

Cadaver!

With a nickname like that he doesn't sound very reliable.

Of course he is, ma. Cadaver is a great guy.

-Isn't he? -Yeah, great.

And what's the occasion, kiddo?

I mean, you hardly ever eat with us.

You're acting strange, no?

Dad! He's just a friend.

I just wanted to introduce him to you. Relax.

Then you're friends, right?

I mean I'm glad because you seem...

too young for my daughter.

-Are you a faggot, Renato? -Julian!

Of course not, sir. No way!

I mean, since my daughter says you are just friends and all...

I don't know if you know she has a boyfriend.

-I don't have a boyfriend! -There you go again!

You'll get back with him.

-I'd rather die, ma! -Well, then you're a fool,

because Juan Pablo is a good boy from a good family.

And a very good lawyer with good prospects.

I'll bring him in the campaign.

He makes great speeches, you have no idea.

Yeah, look, he sent me one:

"Hello, stupid fuck. I hope you enjoyed fucking that little fag."

He means you! "You're probably going to catch something.

I wish I never met you. Rot in hell, you slut."

The nerve of that guy, I swear...

I have more of his speeches if you'd like, eh?

Why did the bastard write something like that?

Because that's what he's like, dad, and because...

Renato and I are having a baby.

-What? -I'm pregnant.

Eat!

Bon appetite!

He's so young.

Not so much. I mean, they all grow up, right?

How will he support you? What will you live on?

He won't support me, ma. We'll just live separately.

What do you mean separately?

What are you talking about, Maria Eugenia?

Mom, I am not going to marry him.

I made one mistake, I won't make another.

I just wanted you to meet him. Not a good idea.

No, no. Why? Why? Dear Lord, why?

What have I done to deserve this?

-What did I do? -Ma, you're exaggerating.

Did you take your pills?

Why didn't you take your pill?

Well, you clearly aren't a faggot, you bastard!

I told you, sir.

But how did it happen? How did this happen?

You want me to tell you how?

Yes. No!

Great. Because your daughter would kill me.

But how could Maru go for you?

I have my charm!

-How old are you? -21.

-21, sir. -21?

Fuck!

Are you at least in school?

-In college? -Well, I'm looking into that...

-I don't understand! -There was some trouble

with a teacher and the fuck stuck it to me!

He didn't like me and he flunked me.

So, next year I'll be going to college.

So you're a lazy fuck?

-Don't be rude, come on. -What do you do?

-Do you have a job? -Right now?

-Yes, now. What do you do? -Well, I'm on sabbatical.

Didn't you ever take a sabbatical?

But this situation changes everything, you know?

The pregnancy, the baby.

I'm going to go to college, sir.

And I'm going to start working right away to save up, see?

Everything is OK. Don't you worry.

What the fuck are you going to work at?

You haven't finished high school, lazy bastard.

Fuck!

This is worse than I thought!

It's not so bad, eh?

Hello, two pizzas...

-Hello. -Marusita,

come here a moment, kiddo.

What's going on?

Sit down, we want to talk to you.

Okay, then, honey,

your father and I have talked over your situation and...

we think the best thing for you would be...

to forget about that boy.

-Renato. -Whatever.

What happened was a mistake. I'll be responsible.

Don't worry, I am not planning on a life with him. So relax.

I'm glad, honey.

That way you can get right back together with Juan Pablo.

-What? -That would be for the best, Maru.

The sooner, the better so no one needs to know.

What are you talking about?

You're not planning on having your baby on your own, are you?

-But Juan Pablo isn't the father! -What do you mean?

Clearly, he is!

Yeah, I agree...

-I can't believe it! -Maru, please.

You mixed up the dates.

That's how we'll get rid of him.

Besides, it serves him right for going to Cuba.

-Dad, what's wrong with you? -Come on Maru, it's election time. OK?

A scandal means less votes. Yes or no?

Kiddo...

-What is it? -Senator, it seems that...

the fiancé is outside well, the suitor,

well, your daughter's...

What?

What are you doing here? No one ordered any pizza.

-No? -What kind is it?

You really are an asshole.

What's wrong? I came to see your daughter.

Listen, I have an offer for you.

I'll give you money and you forget about my daughter.

-What do you think? -No way!

It's to your advantage. It'll be a very good tip.

You sign a contract saying you will never see her again.

And that's it! You can deliver pizzas all over town

-to your heart's content. OK? -Who do you think I am?

I am going to fight to take care of Maru and my son!

You don't have a son, asshole!

Get the hell out of here right now!

Why do you treat me like that? I'm your son in law.

-In your dreams, asshole! -Whatever.

But I am the father of that baby and I won't forsake it!

Listen, Prince Charming,

you are not welcome in our humble abode.

I don't like you, my wife doesn't like you,

my daughter doesn't like you.

Even Boris, the dog, doesn't like you.

Be a man! Have some dignity, asshole.

What's wrong with you? Why do you talk like that?

-Get inside! -Why do you talk to him like that?

Go back in the house, Maru!

-Maru! -Let's go!

-Where? -Let's go!

Get on the bike.

Maru, don't get on that motorbike!

No?

Watch me, watch me.

You're not wearing a helmet.

Yes, here's a helmet. Put it on!

Maria Eugenia, you're pregnant! Don't be irresponsible, please!

Hold on tight!

Little Renato, I told you to wear a condom, son.

What are you going to do?

What do you mean? We're going to have it.

I'm going to open a bank account with my salary.

I work, too, and I'm doing alright, so...

That's good, child, because...

I don't think Renatito can support you.

No, that wasn't the idea, ma'am.

And, where are you going to live, eh?

-We're looking into that... -Looking into it, I get it.

You know you can live here, son.

But let me say one thing:

You'll have to pitch in with the expenses and the chores.

-I can't do it all by myself. -Thank you, ma'am, really,

thanks a lot. But I will stay at my house

and Renato will stay here with you.

That won't change, don't worry.

Whatever you two decide. I don't meddle, it's up to you.

I'm going to bed, I'm really tired.

My coccyx aches!

Have some supper, if you want.

-Thank you, ma'am. -Thanks, ma.

If you want to sleep over, I don't mind.

Just close the door and don't make too much noise, OK?

No need to flaunt what others lack. Don't be mean!

Maru, come here!

-Oh, no, tomorrow, please... -Come here!

I want to go to bed. I'm tired

and I have a presentation in the morning. Please.

Maru, your father is talking to you.

-Now what? -What are you going to do?

I don't know. I don't know what to do. I need to think.

Well, you don't have much time, kiddo.

Maru, reconsider about Juan Pablo.

Mom, that is not going to happen! Are you nuts?

No. Then you leave me no alternative.

-What are you saying? -You'll have to marry

-the pizza boy. -What?

-That's not cool, is it? -Yeah, right!

That took you by surprise, eh, kiddo?

Maru, you can't be a single mom.

I'm not marrying him or anyone else. What's wrong with you?

Get back with Juan Pablo

and settle this or you'll have to marry him.

-I'll do neither! -One or the other, choose!

What if I don't want to?

What's that? I don't know,

we could take away the funding from the foundation.

-How's that? -You can't do that!

Of course I can. And I can do worse things.

You know that very well. So do you.

I've been working on that project for a year.

You can't do this to me, Dad!

What does my work have to do with this? Mom, please!

That's what I say, kiddo.

What does this have to do with those poor children?

Helpless, abandoned, with runny eyes...

It's inhuman, kiddo. Inhuman!

Please think about it, honey, before it starts to show.

I can't believe it!

No, I can't believe it!

Maria Eugenia, come here!

Think it through!

And when you have decided...

let me know.

-That's extortion, Maru! -I know.

-What can I do? -Tell him to fuck off.

Do you know how many kids the foundation supports?

Yes, but marrying some guy you don't know is no great option, eh?

Besides, your wedding would look more like a first communion.

Is the guy really that broke? Because he doesn't look like it.

It's even worse. I marry the dude and I'll live in Misery-ville

with his mother the stripper!

Wow! That's bleak!

Maybe...

I might have to...

marry you.

Yeah, okay. Okay, perfect.

No problem.

-For about two weeks now... -Listen to me!

My parents are forcing me, OK?

That's why I'm doing it.

Because, if I don't marry you I endanger a lot of things

and I couldn't even afford the baby's formula.

Why not? You work, so do I.

-We're in this together. -Don't talk nonsense. Listen!

I work for a foundation that helps children of scant resources.

We live on donations from various organizations.

And it just so happens that my father is the major donor.

If he takes away his money, the kids will be homeless

and hungry, including ours.

And we can't feed the baby pizza, can we?

-No, I guess not. -No, I guess not!

So, I've been thinking.

And I think it is a good idea for us to become...

partners.

-What do you mean, partners? -Yes, partners.

We sign a contract. Some people call it marriage.

But that doesn't matter to me. It means nothing to you.

-There is nothing between us. -Wait a minute, hold on, Maru!

I don't understand. Why do you come and get my hopes up

saying you love me and want to marry me?

Wait. No one said they loved you.

I'm not getting your hopes up.

By some rotten quirk of fate you got me pregnant

and we have to get married. That's it!

This is the result of a passing horniness

and a shitload of Mezcal. So, make no mistake!

If I do it, it's for convenience. And not necessarily yours.

Okay?

Damn!

Damn!

You're breaking my heart, really.

Oh, come off it.

How many times have I told you?

Cut the crap, Maru!

Partners?

Partners!

Partners!

-Partners! -I'll think about it.

-Have you thought about it yet? -I'm thinking.

Partners! That's bullshit!

-What should I do? -Have a big bash, dude.

Like the one in Acapulco.

The ocean, the beach, a couple of chicks...

Man, I mean it!

What should you do? Isn't this your dream?

To land a broad like Maru?

Yeah, man, but not like this, against her will.

Not like partners, dude. What the fuck is that?

Cool it man, she's just playing hard to get.

But you can tell a mile off she's really into you!

-You think? -They're all alike, dude.

And best of all is

that you told her you would think about it.

You know what I didn't like? She said we would live apart.

Then why get married? That's bullshit.

Let me see. Didn't you say her parents are conservative?

They'll never go for it.

-They won't, will they? -I said, no.

So, you play her along...

and you'll see.

But don't pay her too much attention.

Just ignore her.

So, you think Maru just wants to use me?

Damn it, Rana.

Stop it! Just get married and we'll figure it out later.

Worst case scenario, you get a divorce and that's better,

we get half of everything.

Wait a minute. No one is talking about getting a divorce.

Well, that's not going to happen. That's not what we want.

Hey, Rana! Focus!

Who went to your house looking for you?

-She did. -She did.

And who asked you to marry her?

-Well, she did. -She did. And still you doubt it?

You're clueless, dude. Really.

She has needs. She's desperate.

She's won't come up and say:

"Hey, little Frog, I'm horny!

I want you to make love to me right here! Give it to me hard!"

That's not going to happen. She's a snob, I know her kind.

That's not going to happen. She's just trying to find a way.

So get smart! You're so clueless, dude!

You're right, man.

Cadaver, you are right!

And, you know what?

-I'm going to tell her yes, dude. -Done.

We'll have a bachelor party like nobody's ever seen.

I'll get the weed from Colombia. You'll see.

No, man.

Can't you see I'm going to be a father?

So? I checked, it won't affect the baby, dude.

No, but it sets a bad example for the kid.

I don't want him growing up a pothead!

He isn't even born yet.

-One last hit! -No.

-The last one! -I said no!

-The farewell one! -No!

What are you going to tell Little Frog?

-What Little Frog? -Your son, man.

-Rana, Ranita. -When he comes in and says:

"Dad, how did you meet my mother?"

-You know what I mean? -Yeah.

-No, man. -What are you gonna say?

I met your mom at a wedding,

me and Cadaver,your godfather, crashed!

And we got wasted, dude,

and we went tothe beach and got naked.

Your old lady got really drunk and we screwed in her room

and because of you, we had to get married.

No, that's not cool, dude!

Not cool!

You'll traumatize Ranita!

That's true.

What if we make a video?

A video?

-Maru... -Wait a minute.

We need to have a story, you know? Because ours isn't very nice.

There is no story. Stop having these ideas.

Enough, child, please!

That's why we need to make one up.

One that's really pretty, like you, Maru.

Ranita is going to want to know how we met.

About our first kiss.

When I gave you the ring.

Our wedding.

I mean, that is going to happen, but we have to tape it, no?

Our honeymoon and all.

-Cool. -Honeymoon? Right.

I'll have to take a rain check on that, pizza boy.

Why do you call me pizza boy?

Renato, then.

I'm doing this for your baby, eh?

I'm not doing it for myself.

I'm sorry, but what you're saying makes no sense.

I told you, Maru. It's for the kid.

You keep watching your soap opera.

It's a series.

Action, Maru!

No.

No, Maru. Cut! Cut!

-What? -What was that?

I did what you said. I walked, I turned, I said no

-and turned. -Overacting.

It's like a soap opera. Not cool.

Are you telling me I'm a bad actress?

Let's see you do it.

-Wait a minute, calm down... -I am calm.

I mean, you're fine. Don't muss your hair.

-OK, again. -It's all cool.

-Tell me when you're ready. -I'm ready.

Jeez, he thinks he's a movie director. Ready.

Okay, action, Maru!

You're relaxed, OK? Thinking about meeting your friends for coffee.

You feel strange.

You start to turn slowly.

And this guy, what's with him?

I don't look so young either.

In fact, you kind of like me and you relax.

That's a great smile.

You keep on walking, more relaxed now.

You're a snob, right?

So you say no, no way!

What's the matter, Maru?

That's right!

Now you're improvising.

We're getting to know each other. You loosen up.

Flirt a little.

She looks even prettier.

You do it... I already kissed you.

Cut!

Cut!

Cut!

Damn it, Rana. You're a great actor.

And you, Maru, you shone!

I get it now.

You sure can kiss, you little bastard.

Hello!

Open it. Well, you know.

You open it there.

What? You're having a church wedding?

Of course. It's better.

I don't get it. How is it better?

What? No civil wedding?

-Of course not. -Why?

It was my dad's idea.

What if you want to get divorced in a couple of weeks?

You'd need a lawyer, the filing, all the boring paperwork.

You know where the court is? Arcos de Belen.

You'll get mugged.

And to top it all, what if pizza boy refuses to divorce you?

I hadn't thought of that.

-Great idea! -Isn't it?

What's up with your dad's advice, Maru?

So? Did you like the invitations, or not?

-Yeah, they're nice. -They're nice.

-Did you design them? -Yes, I did.

Obviously, do you think I'd make anything so prissy?

-Hey, guess what? -What?

You're the first of the three to get married.

Damn!

Here comes the cherry on the cake. I'm a big fan.

Don't forget to film Maru's entrance, please.

-Chill out! -I'm entrusting it to you.

Did you bring extra film for the camera?

I have film, man. Now, chill!

I can't, man. It scares the shit out of me.

This is harder than a makeup exam.

-Believe me! -Hang in there.

You can do it, dude!

OK, here she comes, man. Go, go, go!

You really lucked out, you little shit.

That's enough already.

Let's hear it for the bride!

Hip, hip, hurray!

The bride, the bride!

-Dad, you have to hug him. -What?

-You have to hug him. -Me?

There!

Go on!

Plutarco, from here to here, champagne.

The cheap stuff on that side.

Are you okay?

Maru, are you sure you want to go through with it?

Yes.

Father, I like them young!

Get on with it, Father.

Brethren, we have gathered today to celebrate the holy matrimony

of our sister, Maria Eugenia Lamacona de la Barquera,

and our brother

-the Frog. -The Frog?

Renato.

-Renato what? -Zamarripa.

Zamarripa.

Our brother, Renato Zamarripa.

In the beginning, God created man and woman.

Therefore man must forsake his father and mother

and join with his wife.

The word of the Lord.

And they shall be one flesh.

What God has united, let no man put asunder.

The groom may kiss the bride.

Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Kiss me, you dork!

Yes we did it! Yes we did it!

The wedding was alright, wasn't it?

Yes.

It's weird. I can't believe I am married.

Well, goodbye, wife.

Goodbye, husband. Take care!

Let's talk later.

-Yeah, on WhatsApp. -Okay.

Bye.

Take care of them, Plutarco.

Honey, I brought one of the centerpieces.

And a little cage...

-Drive safely. -for a canary.

Yes, Miss.

Missus. Even if they aren't going to sleep together.

She's a Missus.

That's right.

Let's go.

What pisses me off is that the poor thing couldn't even enjoy it.

Look at him! He looks like he went to a wake.

But without a funeral, right?

Oh, Plu, you made me laugh!

I really like you.

Well, the night is long, as they say.

And you don't get married every day.

Tell me about it! I never married.

What do you say?

About what?

Well...

he should have some fun.

I know you will remember

I am absolutely sure

You will see another dawn

Other arms and other skin

But never a pure love

Like mine!

Everything I gave you

My life my, whole self

I loved you with my soul

But I was mistaken in your love

You have no feelings

I will...

Forget you

I will forget you I swear it on this cross

You will suffer, you will cry

So you can feel what I feel

Damn you, Maru!

You will remember, you will remember

The kisses we gave each other

And you will go back

To that place where we met

Acapulco!

I know you will remember

He can't wait to get his own place.

Are you better now?

Here! Take this!

Wait! He is driving!

-A routine inspection. -Of course, officer.

How many drinks did you have?

Just two. We were taking it slow.

Right.

And you, young man? How was the party?

Awesome!

And what's with the hooker?

Where did you pick her up?

She's no hooker, she's my old lady.

You think you're a big shit with your badge and all.

Chill out, relax, Rana!

Leave him to me, son. I can handle him.

Partner!

-Who are you calling that? -Wait, Rosi!

-Are you calling me a street walker? -No, no.

-With all due respect, ma'am. -You disrespected her!

You disrespected her!

Partner! Call for backup! With this diva from Garibaldi.

That's it.

I am a lady and deserve to be treated accordingly.

Hello, hello.

Can you bring backup for this pussy?

-This little faggot. -Let's settle this.

Stop it, ma'am. Calm down.

That's enough!

I need back up here with the diva from Garibaldi. Hurry!

I am Senator Lamacona and I'm here for the diva from Garibaldi

and her distinguished offspring.

Yes, please, we've been expecting you.

Senator, please.

Wait here, kiddo.

-Dad. -Don't get involved.

Okay, one, two, three and...

Plutarco!

Plutarco!

You really blew it this time! Perfect!

Senator, we only had a couple of drinks, but we failed the Breathalyzer.

We'll talk later, man.

Did anyone record it?

-No, no one taped it. -Shut up, asshole.

Open the door.

I knew it. First class people.

Upright people.

This way.

Oh, in law, I owe you one.

No, wait a minute. Back up.

Anyway, remember: Lamacona for Senator.

Lamacona for Senator.

We're going to fight for gender equality.

You know it...

Now close it, close it.

-Pussy! Pussy! -Up yours, you ingrates!

Thank you, darling.

-It's all there, right. -Yes, it's all in there.

Thanks.

That was some party, eh?

So, you went out to celebrate?

-Sort of... -Maru!

-That happens when you don't invite me. -Maru!

Thanks.

Oh, you brought the Trans Am.

No, ma'am. No, no.

-Come on! -What's with you, Dad?

Are you alright?

Dad, what are you doing? Let's give them a ride.

It's a sports car, it only rides two.

Yes, in law, don't worry. We understand.

Hello, Maru. I need to see you today at my house. Can you make it?

The view is great, isn't it?

Is that why you wanted to see me, to admire the view?

Let's go on a honeymoon, Maru.

So, the cat is out of the bag. I get it.

You're crazy.

Why am I crazy? We're married.

It was a pretend wedding. A fake one.

-Don't you forget it. -A fake?

I'm sorry, but for me and all the others it was for real.

Oh, yeah? And what will I tell them at work?

See you around...

I'm going on a honeymoon with the pizza boy.

Right, keep on making fun, you stuck up bitch.

I'm sorry, but everyone goes on a honeymoon. Everyone.

Okay, then, where would you take me?

Tepetongo, I guess.

Las Estacas swimming hole?

-The wave? -Come off it.

-To the beach. -Right.

-It'd be cool, right? -I get it. Of course.

You want to hook up with Maru again.

There! I got you. Of course.

No, no. All I want is to keep making the video.

Ranita will want to see videos of our honeymoon.

Right, of course. How considerate of you.

Considerate?

You know what? If you don't want to, don't go!

When our son asks where we honeymooned, what will you tell him?

That his father's a lazy bastard

who couldn't afford to take me anywhere.

And don't take offense.

If you want to go to bed with me, say so. No problem.

That's what you want, right now.

We don't have to go on a trip for that.

We can do it right here.

-Here? -Here, on the roof.

Really?

You're just like all the rest of them.

You have sex on the brain! I swear!

You know what, you've gone too far! Stop it!

You don't have a car. How'd you take me?

Damn it.

Talk me into it, man.

Come on, persuade me!

You gotta get with it. You're so clueless.

Maru, you pack your bag and I'll take care of the rest.

-Just like that? -Just like that.

Just pack.

For real?

-What's wrong with it? -Where did you get it?

It's from Back to the Future!

Come on, Cadaver loaned it to me.

He probably stole it. It won't make it to Iguala.

Should've told me, we'd take my van.

No, we're going in this.

I checked it out, it's fine a 100%.

Tires, oil, levels, everything.

Besides, I want it to show that we started at the bottom, see?

This guy is something else.

Not all couples start out broke. Some don't need to.

But I do, so get in!

Damn you, Rana. I told you so.

Damn it, Renato, I told you, asshole.

Damn it, Rana, I told you, dude.

I'm sorry, Maru, please don't curse.

-The baby will hear you. -What need was there?

I checked it.

No, I checked it, everything is fine.

Well, I did check it!

Yeah, yeah, you checked it good.

Damn you, Cadaver!

Fucking no good...

I was happy

With my boyfriend and profession

I don't understandwhen my life changed

And now I am drenched in sweat

In the middle of nowhere, pregnant by this loser

What a nightmare, what a week

I ended up with a Frog

I want to turn everything back

But no, kiddo, you'll get married

All because he crept into my room

Hey, this is great, eh?

This place is amazing!

Yes.

You think you're smart, eh? Why is there only one bed?

Huh?

There's only one bed.

There were no rooms with two.

Oh, no?

They were all taken.

Fancy that!

This was the only one.

-Well, tough break. -Yeah, tough break.

You get the hammock, babe.

Huh?

The hammock.

Really?

Yeah, the doubles were all taken, right?

You can come into the room if you want.

No, this is cool.

Whatever.

Why are you doing all of this, Renato?

For our son.

That's all?

Yes, that's all.

-Maru, where are we? -In the Fiji Islands.

That's not true.

Near Acapulco.

And what are we doing?

We're on our honeymoon!

This fish is delicious!

Your father caught it.

He went swimming this morning

and brought it for you and me to eat.

The problem now is, who's going to pay the bill.

It was a joke.

Relax.

Come on...

You have to be in the video, too.

Stop recording.

That's enough, Maru.

Pay the bill.

Cheers!

You are so pretty.

Cheers, friends!

Come here! Closer!

Closer!

Renato!

-What's up? -What are you doing with those sluts?

-They're my friends. -Is she your girlfriend?

She's my partner.

No, I'm not his partner. I'm his wife, you bitch!

I'm going to have his child. How's that?

Oh, you're going to be a father?

-That's what she says. -You're too young for that.

-How old are you, eh? -Don't touch me, you slob!

Let's go, Renato!

Why?

Because I say so!

Listen to your mom! Go with her, little one!

You shut up, you pothead!

I'll be right back.

Back my ass!

-I'll work it out. -Don't be long.

Thanks.

She's from Spain. There it's a double...

Here we call it a bonus.

I'll bring more beer.

Bye, handsome!

He was really hot.

You turned out a bastard!

Like all the rest of them!

We are nothing to each other.

No? We're married, in case you haven't noticed.

You said it was fake.

That's not the point!

You came with me and you have to respect me!

I came with you, right!

-You're jealous! -Jealous?

-I can't understand you. -Oh, baby!

No, honey. In your dreams.

-Then, you're not? -No.

I'm going to see the Spanish girl, she was really hot!

Where are you going, you little bastard?

You stay here! Come here!

What's the deal?

Thought you didn't care.

I don't give a fuck what you do with your life!

-So? -It's a matter of manners.

You came with me, you stay with me!

We are on a deserted beach. What if someone comes?

I'm all alone...

you're so thoughtless!

Okay, Maru, cool!

When you fall asleep, I'll go with them.

And I'll cut off your balls!

Hey...

What's up?

Isn't something missing on this honeymoon?

No, I taped it all.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Well, come here...

What's up?

It was a momentary lapse, okay?

It's not always going to be like this.

It was just to give it a little realism.

Okay!

Some music?

Turn that damn song off!

Turn it off or I'll get out of the car!

Okay.

It's not my fault.

It was just on.

SIX KILOS LATER

Wow!

-What's up, doc? -What?

Do you want to know what it is?

No, no, better not.

Yes! I know it's a boy!

OK, then, tell us.

You see this here?

It's a weenie.

You bet your ass!

-That? -Oh, sorry, doc!

Here!

I knew it! I knew from the start. It's a boy!

Congratulations!

Are you sure that's what it is?

Maru, Maru, it's a boy!

Go on!

-Now? -Yes.

Hello, darling.

Hello?

Hello, Rana. Remember today is the Lamaze class.

The what?

Lamaze, Rana. I've been telling you about it for months.

Oh, right, right.

OK, then I'll meet you there. It's really important.

It's a couple thing.

Yeah, I'll see you there.

Bye.

What's up, Rana?

Dude, I need you to stand in for me.

Eight weeks of preparation

-so the experience... -Afternoon.

Hello!

Hello, Miss.

Come in, if you want. That way.

We're just starting. He your husband?

No way! What are you doing here?

Later. Can I take off my shoes?

-Yes. -Done.

Where is Renato?

Something came up, but I'm here to stand in.

Excuse me, but can we continue?

Please...

-Yes, sorry. -Yes, fine.

What do I have to do?

We were talking about humanizing childbirth.

-Humanizing. Humanizing? -Yes.

One that respects the woman.

What happened? What he had to do it?

Respects the woman.

-Her desires. -Her desires.

Shut up! You're not the teacher!

That's it. Feel the gravity. Yes.

Where do I place my hands?

Then we get up on all fours

and rest your arms...

Look. I press and release.

Please, tell him to leave me alone.

What?

Here, on the back. With the whole hand, not jabbing.

-Will you help me? -Yes, I am helping you.

-Wait. -How does this hand go?

Wait, wait. I'm going to show you how. There, on the hip...

-Right there, and then apply pressure. -Okay.

-What's the matter with you? -I was nervous.

Maru?

Hello?

You blew it, asshole!

Wait, Maru.

Damn it.

Okay.

Hello. Did you order a pepperoni double cheese pizza?

Yum! Is it still hot?

Don't you have a smaller bill? I didn't bring...

Babe, do you have change?

Honeybun, I told you no pizza, I'm on a diet.

Busted!

Don't go getting ideas. She's my sister.

Of course she is!

And I'm Cristiano Ronaldo, right?

-You know each other? -Yes.

See you around, father in law!

Wait. Hey, hold on. Come here.

Come here, you little fucker!

Look at all the presents, Ranita! That's so nice of them.

They all love you.

Your aunts and uncles...

your grandma.

Hello, Grannie!

I'm going to say hello, excuse me.

-Not now, I'm... -You're what?

-Having hot flashes. -Hey, Renato.

Renato, son. Come over here with the men.

Listen, I've given it some serious thought and...

I want us to make peace.

Really?

I mean, why should we go on fighting, you know?

You're right.

I said to myself: If little Maru and you love each other,

who am I to stand between you?

May love prevail!

Besides, I've discovered you're a good guy.

Right!

And when did you discover that?

Yesterday afternoon, don't play dumb!

Of course, at your sister's house, right?

Exactly.

You didn't bring her to the shower.

-She would've enjoyed it. -Lower your voice, you shit.

Listen, I leave you alone and no one saw anything, okay?

Besides, I want you to quit that pizzeria and come work for me.

What do you want, the party or the senate?

We have a deal.

You don't know who you're messing with, stupid fuck!

I'm just kidding.

We talk like that.

What did you say to him?

Nothing!

I said we should make peace, but no.

Yeah, right.

If you don't believe me, ask him!

I told him I wouldn't oppose your relationship

if he left the pizza job.

I said: Boy, come work with us in the senate, the party.

But no, the little asshole took offense and left.

I don't know why, but I don't believe a word, Dad.

Come on, kiddo.

Why would I lie to you?

Do you think he can support you delivering pizzas?

Maru, honey, think it over.

Don't ruin your life with that little boy.

Why did you force me to marry him?

It was during an election, little Maru!

Please, think about it.

We needed social stability.

And what did you want? To be a single mother?

Of course not! It was the least you could do after your mistake.

It's a mistake to live here with you at my age.

And allow you to blackmail me.

The door is wide open if you don't like it.

Yeah? Well, I don't.

Why do you treat Renato like that? He did nothing to you.

Do you think your money and influence can manipulate

-and buy people? -Yes.

Yeah? Well you found someone it doesn't.

-Maru, honey. -Let her go!

Her tantrum will pass.

Can you give us shelter?

Come in.

Thanks.

And where does that bastard live?

In the housing developments, sir.

Outside of the city!

Fuck!

And what time did she leave?

Doesn't anyone know?

Last night I think.

Today, when I went in her room, she was gone.

And it goes to voice mail, again.

Let it go. Plutarco!

Sir?

Make sure the girl is with that asshole.

Yes, Senator.

Get it right.

Kiss.

I want you to beat the shit out of the little bastard,

-but don't leave any marks. OK? -Yes, Senator.

And don't let anyone record it. No phones.

I don't want any trouble.

Wednesday.

I have it here, just in case.

Hello.

Good morning.

Ah, thanks.

You're welcome.

What are you doing?

I just finished our video.

Really?

You wanna see it?

This story begins like this...

And then...

I found you.

As you can see, you haven't been born yet.

But you are already the most loved, wanted baby in the world.

-We love you, Ranita. -So much!

This story... I hope it continues...

Thank you.

Can you forgive me?

I treated you very badly.

I've been a fool.

Will you be my boyfriend?

But now for real, OK?

-Yes... -Yes?

I do.

Hey, Plutarco. How are you?

Miss, I'm glad you're here. Is everything OK?

Yes, everything is fine.

Your parents sent me to find you. They are really worried.

Alright, now you've seen that everything is fine.

Say hi to them, OK?

Damn.

What's up, man?

Well, the Senator is really pissed off.

He asked me to work you over.

But I said: "Relax, sir.

Rana is a good kid. Your daughter is in good hands."

Cool, bro.

-That's what friends are for, right? -You bet. Awesome. Thanks.

And where is... what's Rosi doing?

Who?

Rosi.

Oh, she's busy doing the laundry.

Oh, I see.

-Have you had breakfast? -Yeah.

Great.

Well, then, say goodbye to her for me.

Sure.

-We should do it again. -OK.

-But next time we take a taxi. -Just to be safe.

Yeah, you really came across that day. Cool.

OK, kid. I'll tell the Senator that all is well with Maru.

And that I left you a little souvenir.

So you can back me up on that. And so he will let up.

Man, you're the best.

Thanks for helping out.

See you around.

Where are you going?

-I'm leaving. -What are you doing?

It's that way.

Right.

Cool. See ya.

That didn't work.

Renato, what are you doing?

Studying, boss.

I wanted to ask if I could come in late.

I have an exam tomorrow at eight.

With that I finish high school.

-An exam? -Yeah.

-High school? -Yeah.

You lazy bum. There's a delivery for Anzures.

-Get going! -Then it's OK?

We'll see about it later. Hurry!

Hello?

Rana, I think my water broke.

What water?

My water! You're going to be a father!

No way, Maru. The nine months aren't up.

I know, I know.

Son, the kid got the jump on us.

I'll take her to the social security clinic in a taxi.

OK, mom.

-If you start having contractions... -Yeah...

You just go...

You'll have to deliver the pizza yourself!

I'm going to be a Dad!

-You're going to be a father? -Yes!

Congratulations!

Breathe!

The baby is coming.

No way. Don't stain the seat covers.

Shut up!

Rosi, call my parents. Let them know.

I ran out of credit. I hate that.

It's here.

It's coming! It's coming!

-Let me see your benefits card. -I have it here.

No, not yours.

The mother's. Or are you going to give birth, too?

-Do I look pregnant? -Well?

And who's going to pay me?

Can't you see the shit is hitting the fan here?

Give me a break.

I can only care for her if she has her card.

If she wants to give birth, she needs a card.

Otherwise, I can't give her any service.

Next!

Next, please!

There, there! Are you OK?

Son, this bitch won't take care of your wife

because she doesn't have a card.

What did you call me?

She doesn't have a card and the lady is right.

-Come. -What can we do?

Let's go to a doctor. Let's get out of here.

Yes, yes. Wait. Your purse.

What?

In law, change of plans.

We're going to the Irish hospital.

Bring her benefits card.

OK, yes. Yes. They're going to the Irish hospital.

-Hurry up! -I thought it was social security.

-Oh, Plutarco, get a move on! -OK, hang on tight, ma'am.

-Mom! -Are you OK?

Is everything alright, honey? Does it hurt?

Miss, Miss, my daughter is about to give birth.

Come this way, please. No!

-Excuse me, you can't come in. -Why not?

-Only the father. -So?

He is the father. Let him in.

Sorry, I thought you were her little brother.

Come this way.

Hey, he is the father.

Maru!

Quiet! To the delivery room!

-She's about to give birth. -That'll be seven months, Senator.

No, because she reached her term. Her water broke.

Really?

Powerful people.

OK, breathe.

Push.

That's it.

Good, he's coming!

He's born!

How is my daughter?

-Good. -Good or fine?

Fine.

Doctor, how did it go?

Well, as you know, the baby was premature.

But everything was fine.

Your daughter is in recovery and they'll bring the baby

for you to see.

He's cute.

He sure looks like him.

Hello.

What's going on, son?

-Senator. -What?

No, nothing.

What the fuck, Rana? I thought we had two weeks.

He came early.

Here he comes.

He's here!

Chinese.

He's... beautiful.

Miss, please, one question...

Did they switch the baby?

No way, ma'am.

This is Mrs. Maru Lamacona's baby.

Holy shit!

What the fuck?

I don't know, I don't understand.

The pictures, the pictures.

Your phone. The pictures.

Right, the pictures!

No fucking way!

What the fuck?

As far as I know, all babies have slanted eyes.

Because when they pull them out they yank them like this.

That's the deal, dude.

But then they go away.

Cut the bullshit, dude.

What? I read it...

This is a bitch.

I am devastated.

Get away!

I'm pregnant.

Congratulations.

I'm doing it for your baby, eh?

Is that the only reason?

Yes, it is.

You're going to be a father?

That's what she says, but...

How are you?

Fine.

I love you, Maru.

Hello, Ranita.

I'm your dad.

How are you, son?

Get away!

Ranita, hello.

Hello, Ranita.

When you see this video you will be older.

And making mischief.

And me? I hope to have finished college

and be working in something other than pizza delivery.

I promise.

You may have wondered why we don't look a lot alike.

Or maybe you're being bullied at school.

But don't listen to them.

That happens sometimes.

I had a grandfather who looked a lot like you.

I think you take after him.

Son...

never doubt how much I love you

and how much I love your mother.

You two changed my life.

Without you...

without you, I would be nothing.

I didn't have a dad.

But believe me...

you will never lack one.

I will be there...

to care for you...

to protect you...

to help you when you need it most.

I will see you grow up, eh?

I want to see you happy!

I love you, Ranita!

Mom?

We are here!

-Give her pills! -Shut up!

OK, let's sing the birthday song for my grandson, Ranita.

Come on!

Here goes!

To a mariachi beat.

Is it real?

It's a bad joke!

You never heard that song, right?

Stop it! Enough!

Who was the asshole?

It was Cadaver, who else?

Son of a...

Dad!

What's wrong with you? I make it with love!

Wait! Wait!

Tell your in law to get a grip.

He's so intense!

Ranita, say hello to your uncle Cadaver!

That's my boy!

Stop fondling each other! My son is one year old.

Let's cut your cake.

Take a bite! Take a bite!

Don't even think about it!

Play birthday songs in Chinese to your mother!

-Son of a... -Now, what I did?

What happened?

What's going on?

-You made my little one cry! -Come off it!

In law...

In law, my balls!

do you want a beer?

A picture, right?

Come on, everyone, dad! Ready for the picture!

Sure! A picture!

-Fuck, Cadaver! -Now, what?

How gross! You're out of line!

Hurry up, honey! Take the fucking picture!

One...

You won't come out in the picture.

Say cheese!

One, two... and three!

Cheese!