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- Faster route. - You are already on the fast...

- Julius. - Nowotny and his crew are nearly here.

I'm stuck in the holiday traffic. Is Feldmann there?

- Not yet. - Tell them I'm nearly there.

- Weren't you stuck in traffic? - No. I flew in.

I think it's about to start.

We'll chat later. Step on it. Kiss, kiss.

Yeah, yeah. Right back at you.

MOM

Hey, Mom. I'm in the car. I can't talk now.

- I was about to text you. - I wanted to ask when you'll be here.

- I can't make it. I have to work. - But it's a holiday.

- Not for me. - Haven't you made enough money yet?

- Enough for what? - What?

- Nothing. - I made you a cheesecake.

I'll try to come by on Sunday. Think the cake will still be good then?

I said that I made you a cheesecake.

Yes, I got that. I asked if it'll still be good then.

I lost you for a moment there.

- I have to go now. Keep me some cake. - Yes, I...

Fuck!

- Hello? - Was it worth it, Cosima? Was it?

What happened?

There's nail polish on my glove compartment.

- Look. - What?

- Was it worth it? - You woke me up for that? Really?

- It won't come out. - Use nail polish remover.

No! That will just rub it all over the place!

- But the car still works, right? - This isn't funny.

I'll just use nail polish remover...

No! No nail polish remover!

Feldmann will be here in ten. Shall we start...

- No. No way. - How long do you need?

Ten minutes.

THE GOLDFISH

The doctor said it's best not to touch you.

He also said, a few vertebrae higher

and you wouldn't be able to move your arms.

So I guess you were lucky.

Oli, I'm going to Singapore.

With HSBC. They need people there.

You know I've always wanted to go there.

I feels like there's not much I can do to help here anyway, right?

I...

Did you say something?

- Turn... back... - You don't want me to go?

Turn...

off...

the lights.

Okay.

Take care, Oliver.

THREE MONTHS LATER

Most buses have electric ramps, or, at least, more and more do.

But not all of them. There are many different systems.

That's why communicating with the driver is vital.

That's what we'll practice now. I'll be the bus driver.

And... Oliver.

You need to indicate whether you want to get on the bus

or wait for the next one.

- Yep. Okay. - Okay.

I'm taking the next bus.

OK, in this case, can you pretend you want to get on this one?

I want to get on.

Think again.

I can't hear you.

The door's shut, it's noisy...

- Cells are ringing... - Yes, Julius?

Did you reach him?

I'll be online in a sec.

- Oliver... - Thanks. I'll get a taxi.

No, just talking to a guy here.

Oliver!

I don't understand. You just had your accident.

I'm fit enough to work, Mr. Feldmann. Trust me.

You should concentrate on your new life circumstances.

You should... How shall I put it? Process it.

What am I supposed to do?

Sit by the window and look sad?

I can and I want to work.

- If you need anything... - You've been away for three months.

Kowalczyk is too important to us to leave you in charge.

Julius will take care of your other portfolios too.

- Why? - Your contract ends soon...

Mr. Feldmann?

Hello? Hello, Mr. Feldmann?

Mr. Feldmann? Can you hear me?

- Ms. Cheche, we need to talk. - No, Oliver, we need to talk.

What are you doing?

The nasal spray needs to sink in. You left your course again.

- Ms. Cheche... - Zschetzsche.

- What? - It's "Zschetzsche".

Zetsche.

- Zschetzsche. - Zetsche.

- Zschetzsche! - Ms... The internet here is a disgrace!

- You've got a single room. - I've got important...

Important, important, important.

Your therapy's important. Focus on that, not your laptop.

You'll be out in seven weeks.

- Seven weeks without internet? - Go to your courses.

- Do you even know what my job is? - The Wi-Fi is the least of our problems

The main elevator is broken.

The cafeteria can only spend 2.10 euros per meal.

The last group trip was in 2016, when we visited the sewage treatment plant.

You've been paraplegic for three months and your main problem is the Wi-Fi?

I'm willing to pay more.

I see you're also mentally impaired. This isn't a hotel.

It's a rehab center. Time to eat.

- Cafeteria. - What's on the menu?

Fish cakes.

- We had fish yesterday. - You said we should use the leftovers.

May I sit here?

- Yes, of course. - It was a joke.

Oh, sorry.

Are you also disabled?

No. I started working here two weeks ago.

Oh, really? So, are you a doctor?

No, I'm a career at the group home.

- Oh, for the... - Yes, for the...

- What are you drawing? - These are for the group home.

The new pencils are too sharp. They might hurt themselves.

Do you need to train for such a job, or...

Yes, you can do a training, but I studied special education.

Now I want to see if all that theory works in practice.

What about long-term?

- What do you mean? - Well... What are your long-term plans?

What are your career goals?

I mean, making puzzles with the disabled can't be your dream job.

Actually, it is my dream job.

And you should say "people with disabilities".

How about you?

I only come here to have lunch.

They have the best fish cakes.

No, I'm over in rehab. I'm Oliver, by the way.

Laura.

There's meant to be a great yakitori place round the corner.

- Yaki... - Yes, yakitori.

Japanese skewered meat. There are also vegetarian options.

We could go there this weekend, if you fancy...

My treat. I'll pay.

The thing is... I can't this weekend, I'm afraid.

- I have... - It's okay. It's okay. I get it.

Well, it was nice to meet you.

- Okay. And good luck. - Thank you. Same to you.

The doctor said to take special care of the back of the knees.

- Mom, he's a nurse, not a doctor. - That's not the point.

- He meant... Can you do it? - Yes.

- There shouldn't be any pressure marks. - I know.

Great.

- Shall we go to the cafeteria? - No, let's go out.

I can't stand the coffee here anymore.

Hello. I'd like a black coffee.

And an espresso macchiato.

- I'll bring them over. - Thank you.

Is here okay?

Who designs this shit?

Oli, I brought you something.

Please, don't be mad, but I've gone and bought it now.

SEX IN A WHEELCHAIR

- Oh, no! Please, no! - It's not so bad.

Why do people think that's my biggest problem?

It says you're still in the denial stage.

And it also says you can still have children.

- Your coffees. - Why is it screwed to the floor?

- Oli. - I mean...

I ordered an espresso macchiato. That's a latte.

Oli... Are you okay?

Yes, Mom. I'm just great.

I need to get back to work. I've got a meeting.

Thanks for the coffee.

Mr. Feldmann said you were in an accident and that you...

No, there must have been a misunderstanding.

So, you weren't in an accident?

No... I mean, I was. But only a minor one. We can get started right away.

Very well then. We should start by...

Mr. Kowalczyk?

Can you hear me now? Mr. Kowalczyk, are you still on the line?

Yes. Is this better? No?

Mr. Kowalczyk?

You could also put the pendant on a different necklace.

That's not a problem.

You need a somewhat more delicate necklace.

Look at Miri and me. We're completely different types.

That's exactly why I'm standing next to her.

Because it doesn't matter whether you're wearing

something pink, blue, white or black.

Something that's anthracite or apricot-colored.

Hey, Franzi.

- Hey! Leave it on! - No, I won't.

We've got to get ready for Laura's weird session. You can thank her.

Rainman?

Are you coming to the Goldfish session?

Rainman?

- Getting cleany-clean. - No, Rainman. What are you doing there?

You don't clean things in there!

Look at the state of you!

- Are we good? - Rainman, that's a toilet.

- What's a toilet for? - Making cleany-clean.

- That's a... No. Let's wash your hands. - Cleany-clean. Yes.

Did you tell Magda?

Yes.

Magda, we're waiting.

Sorry I'm late, but your mom called. She wants you to comb her chest hair.

- You're such a Nazi whore. - Eddy!

- What? Just because she's blind? - I heard that.

- So what? You wino. - So... What's up?

- Good morning, my dear Magda. - Morning.

We'll be having a Goldfish session once a week.

- I was hoping you'd have forgotten. - No.

Exactly! So, I thought we could all do something together this afternoon.

We could cook something, for example.

- Yes. - Yes?

- Hey, Siri. Wake me up in an hour. - Alarm has been set for...

Who knows how to make polenta?

Franzi? Yes!

A horse.

- I want to ride a horse. - Forget it.

Franzi, that's a great idea.

I first have to talk to Ms. Zschetzsche about that, but great idea.

Rainman, what would you like to do?

- Oops. - Sorry.

Tell me. Tomorrow. You know who's coming? Mr...

Mr...

Mr. Mrs. Schmitz is coming tomorrow, yeah.

We don't have to cook. We could do something else.

But I want a horse!

Do it and we are good.

So, here's the source. Mr. Kowalczyk?

- What's going on? - I can hear you.

Can you hear me now?

- Yes. - Fantastic. I'm finally in my office.

- You were talking about a fixing date. - Excuse me!

We recommend our clients a fixing date at the end of the fourth quarter.

I think someone wants your attention.

- Is that your father? - It's just the cleaning crew.

- Please clean this area later. Thanks. - Cleany-clean. Yes.

- Is he in an old people's home? - What?

Mr. Kowalczyk? The connection's bad again.

I can hear you quite well.

I'll get back to you tomorrow

with an asset allocation strategy, figures and charts.

- Okay? - That might be for the best.

- Okay. See you tomorrow. - Franzi... Rainman.

- Are you crazy? - Yes.

- What are you doing here? - What are you doing here?

Nothing. I'm working.

Please, continue doing whatever it is you were doing.

I was doing important work. You can't just pop in and push Rainman away!

- Rainman? - The guy you pushed away.

- His name is Rainman? - It's Rainer.

But we call him that. He loves the film... Whatever!

It's okay. I'll find some place else.

By the way, I just want to make it clear

that it had nothing to do with your disability.

What?

Not wanting to go have yokitori with you.

- "Yakitori", but don't worry about it. - I'm serious.

The wheelchair isn't a problem.

Okay. What's the problem then?

Don't take it personally, but you're just not my type.

What kind of type am I?

- The banker type. - I'm a portfolio manager.

Oh, that's completely different. To make the rich even richer.

You can skip the lecture. I know all the clichés.

- Fine, then. - Yeah, fine.

Just a sec. I'm going to the window.

Mr. Overrath?

Just a moment.

- So... - Mr. Overrath?

- Yes, I can hear you now. - Wonderful, Mr. Overrath.

- I can hear you now. - I can hear you too.

I'm Mr. Flütsch and I'm calling from the GDNC Bank in Zürich.

- Yes. - Regarding your safety deposit box.

Upon request, we had to inform the German tax office

that you've rented a safe deposit box here in our vault for three years.

If you're suspected of having committed tax fraud...

How... How come they requested that?

I'm afraid I can't answer that.

If you're suspected of having committed tax fraud, we'll have to...

- When did they send the request? - They sent it this morning.

- If you're suspected of... - Mr. Flütsch, could I call you back?

Oliver?

- Julius, we have to go to Zürich now. - I can't.

What? Don't you understand how serious this is? Julius?

Not on the phone.

I wanted to pick up some flowers on the way here, but I'm not sure...

- Of what? - If that's even a thing.

Well, you're not typically ill.

It's okay. Why couldn't you talk on the phone?

Tell me.

Oliver...

I'm fucked. Totally fucked.

I know you were in an accident and all that, but I'm fucked.

And why is that?

I got caught at the border.

I even borrowed our intern's car.

The perfect cover.

And I played it super cool.

But they pull everyone aside.

- I had 200,000 in the car with me. - Oh, shit.

Did you know they train dogs to smell money?

Okay... So, what now?

They knew everything. About my Swiss account,

that I liquidated my assets, about my safety deposit box...

Who's "they"?

The German tax office.

They went to my bank with a court order

and opened my safety deposit box.

700,000! All gone.

- I've got a court hearing in two weeks. - Did you come by car?

- How else? - We have to go clear my box in Zürich.

Are you deaf? Their dogs can smell money.

- Mr. Flütsch called. - Who?

From the bank. They know about my box and could show up at any moment.

- What's inside? - Cash. 1.2 million.

1.2 million? I just wanted to warn you. The rest is on you.

Warn me? You wouldn't have told me if I hadn't called.

Zürich is only two hours away.

I can't even take a shit on my own! How am I supposed to smuggle 1.2 million?

- Make a self-disclosure. - Too late! Plus, I need that money.

Being disabled is expensive! Take the cushion I'm sitting on.

Non-disabled pay 15 euros for one at IKEA.

For me it's 1,200 euro.

Specially designed for my ass, which I can't even feel!

- Maybe you could... - What?

You could put the money in condoms and stick them up your behind.

One condom easily holds fifty 500-euro notes.

That makes 25,000 per trip...

You want me to stick my money up my ass?

Coke dealers do it all the time. It's not such a bad idea.

And dogs can't smell things that are up your ass.

Plus, you don't feel anything there anyway.

Hey, you know what? Thanks for coming by.

- Oliver! I'm also fucked, you know. - Yeah, don't worry about it.

Fuck!

Can I also use the disabled bathroom?

BILLY BOY CONDOMS

"FEELING SAFE"

- Oliver! - Laura.

I'm looking for a Wi-Fi booster. Do you know if they sell them here?

I don't, but I imagine you'd have to ask at an electronics store.

Yes, you're right.

I thought as much. Okay.

- Oliver? - Yes?

You could also work in our group home.

Seeing you have issues with the Wi-Fi...

But only if you don't disturb us. We could give it a go.

Thanks. That's so nice of you.

- See you. - See you.

- Here's your 6.22 euros change. - Thank you.

I'm sorry. So sorry.

- Did I do something wrong? - No.

It goes off sometimes. Just walk on through.

- Okay. Okay. - The exit's to the left.

- Okay! - Just let me know if you need any help.

No, thanks.

Is that online banking for stocks?

Yes, exactly.

I know a bit about the internet. I do stuff online too. Online poker.

Bitcoins. Ever heard of bitcoins?

I do bitcoin stuff.

- You should go for it. - What's up with him?

- He's just not with it. - Why the helmet?

He's autistic.

Is he gifted in something?

No idea. Well...

He's just autistic.

So, come on in.

So, guys...

I had an idea.

As we're the Goldfish group, we also need the appropriate animal.

Can I have some peace here!

- Three guesses what's underneath this. - A horse.

No, a horse would be way too dangerous in here.

- Rainman, perhaps you have an idea? - Yes. I'll be fine.

Very well then. I'll tell you. It's a... goldfish!

- A goldfish isn't an animal. - Of course it is.

We can also name our goldfish.

- Goldi. - Goldi.

We have to feed Goldi, so he can grow big and strong.

Did you know that goldfish can live up to 30 years if you take good...

- Cleany-clean! - No!

- No! No! - Rainman!

That's exactly what I meant, Laura.

Why would you bring it here? Give me that.

- Are you mad? - You can't clean things there.

- No, I'm not mad. - Shit.

- Don't worry. - Where's Goldi?

- Are you mad? - He must be hiding somewhere.

- No, there's no fish here. - Yes, there is. Over there...

- This shit... - No!

No! No! No!

Come on, Goldi. You poor fish! Come here.

- Shit! - Are you mad?

Are you mad? Are we good?

- Are we good? - Rainman, everything is fine.

- No one's mad. - Goldi!

Save your breath. He needs to shake it off.

- It was all too much for him. - You think so?

I told you not to get things like that.

They'll never change. Did you download the song?

He's autistic! Only this song will calm him down.

Forget about Coldplay.

- No! - Goldi! Goldi?

- Can you hear me? - What are you doing, Franzi?

Great idea, Laura.

- Can you hear me? - Perfect. Just perfect.

- Goldi? - Franzi, get away from me.

Awesome!

- Do you do that often? - What? This?

- Yes. - Only during the day and at night.

I mean the number you did in the store.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Don't they ever look in your bag?

Being disabled has its advantages.

May I ask you a personal question?

Why are you here? I mean, living here with these...

You could manage on your own.

Why do you ask? Are you Jerry Springer or something?

Take a sip.

Here's to disability.

To disability.

- Camel riding? - Camel therapy.

Well, you do ride the camels too, but for therapeutic reasons.

Franzi helped me come up with the idea.

You know that she loves animals.

- She loves horses. - Yes.

But, I mean... Camels are the better horses.

They're a lot more curious and a lot more... quiet.

It's all in the brochure.

Don't take me wrong. It's noble of you, wanting to pay for the trip and all,

but why Switzerland?

There's no camel therapy here.

Plus, Saphira is the best in her field.

- Is Saphira the camel? - Yes. No. Saphira is the therapist.

She specializes in disabled... people with disabilities.

It's all in the brochure.

- I imagine it'll cost you a fair bit. - Yes, but it's not about that.

You know...

How can I put it?

That troop... The Goldfish troop welcomed me with open arms and with...

their Wi-Fi and everything.

They're just so welcoming.

I want to give something back to them, Ms. Zschetzsche.

I've been applying for a grant for years

and they always say there's no money.

But then they go and spend 100 million on a museum

for Prussian soup bowl paintings!

- You're a good man, Oliver. - Yeah?

- You can go on the trip. - Thanks, Ms. Zschetzsche.

Go tell Laura. She'll be happy.

Hey.

Are you okay?

I should just go work at Burger King again.

- You used to work there? - Yes. It was less stressful.

"No cable cars lead to the highest peaks."

Reinhold Messner. He gave us a motivational seminar.

My boss is a fan of his. He invited him to give a seminar.

His feet are all crippled. Not my boss'. Messner's.

They'd frozen, so they had to amputate seven of his toes.

Oliver. Oliver, could you please stop talking?

Laura, I'm actually here to give you

some good news.

SAPHIRA'S CAMEL FARM

Apple, anyone?

Thanks.

- I should be thanking you. - Franzi, scoot over.

- I'll be fine. Yes. - Great. Out you go.

- A fast car. Yes. - Will you get down from there?

- Magda, buckle up. - No. Don't buckle up.

- Do it. - No! If she does, she'll squish Goldi.

Don't worry about him. He's preserved in alcohol.

Franzi, I'll take good care of Goldi.

Eddy, I heard you left your mom for a younger woman.

Estimated arrival time: Two hours and 13 minutes.

- I want a Fanta. - I'll give you a Fanta.

Every time you have one, you need to pee. So, no.

- But I want one. - No.

- Yes. - No.

- Yes. - I said "no".

- I want a Fanta. - You're not getting one.

Look! Saphira's waiting for us over there. It's going to be great, guys.

Is Saphira the camel?

No. Saphira is the therapist.

A fast horse. Yes.

I'm so proud, you know.

Hello, everyone.

- Hi. - You must be generous Oliver.

The noble prince Laura spoke about.

Noble? Not really.

- Hello, I'm Eddy Patzke. I'm the carer. - Hello.

Are you a secret millionaire?

- Do you know what I mean? - I'm afraid I don't.

Saphira? Is this drinking water?

Oliver, that woman is really weird.

Psycho.

Franzi, you can ride on Ali.

- I hate camels. - Well, the trip was so worth it.

- Magda, want to be the first to get on? - No, no.

- I want to ride. - Great, Rainer.

See, Franzi. Ali is a nice camel.

But I want a horse.

Ali's my friend.

Look, Franzi. You can feed him. Ali loves bread.

I hate Ali.

Franzi, don't run!

Franzi, don't run!

Franzi, don't be scared! Stay where you are!

Oh, man! Will they ever leave?

- Sure you don't need anything? - Yes, thanks.

There's Moroccan peppermint tea. Drink some.

We'll be back from the healing spring in an hour.

Franzi, hold on tight.

- Bye, Oliver! See you soon. - They're gone.

Let's go.

Let's go!

- A lot more work than I'd imagined. - Complain on the way. Hurry.

- We've only got an hour. - Oliver.

500 would be a fairer price.

What do you want from me? We agreed on 300.

Plus, I told you to wear something decent.

Like what?

Something that doesn't show your belly.

Know what? Either you give me 500, or I won't do it.

- 300 is 30 times the minimum wage! - Ask Laura then. Sure she'll do it.

Come on. Fuck it. 500 it is.

Thanks, Oliver.

The entrance is over there.

Hey!

Quickly. The pants. Eddy?

Come on!

So, tape me up.

Oh, yes. Of course. Here's your share.

Know what? Enjoy yourself. Here.

Now, tape it onto me.

- Eddy! - Oliver...

- I want more. - More?

I want at least double.

- What am I saying? - Are you kidding me?

Give that back, you fat, useless nothing!

- I've earned that too! What'll you do? - Give it back!

- Will you call the cops? - Give it!

- What you gonna do about it? - Give it back, you jerk!

- No! - You jerk!

I won't get it back.

I've been cleaning up your disabled shit for ten years.

I deserve this, my friend.

Let's tape you up now. No problem.

They're back.

So, make sure you smile, now.

Hey, man! There's a step.

Hey! How did it go?

It was so nice! Everyone had a great time.

- Shame you couldn't come. - Yeah. Real shame.

I'd never heard of camel therapy before.

I did a lot of research on it.

Is it like dolphin therapy, but with animals?

Thanks, Eddy. You can go now. Thanks.

Saphira said that wheelchair users often ride her camels.

- Really? How interesting. - Yes.

- I could ask her if you want. - No, thank you.

But it's quite safe up there. We could also strap you in.

I really don't want to.

- Are you sure? - Yes. Really.

- It's so beautiful here. - Yes.

Very beautiful.

Yeah...

I'd like to apologize to you.

- For what? - Well, for...

For being prejudiced. And for being mean to bankers.

- There's no need... - Yes, that was...

- Laura. You really don't have to. - I went too far.

No, please! There's nothing to apologize about.

Okay.

I'm free this weekend, by the way.

In case you fancy some Japanese.

But I'll pay for my own food.

There's my secret millionaire.

- Your turn. - Thanks, but I don't want to go riding.

No problem. We'll have a talk therapy session.

With Helmut.

Tell Helmut how you feel.

I really don't know...

I mean, is this even a thing? Talk therapy with a camel?

Yeah...

Okay. Helmut...

My name is Oliver.

I'm doing well and I'm quite confident...

that everything will turn out really well.

Helmut says you're not relaxed.

Just be yourself. Pretend I'm not here.

I really don't see the point of all this.

Just sit back and relax.

So, I...

I think that's enough, don't you?

- What's that? - The famous fancy-pants.

Come, Helmut. We didn't see anything.

Come on.

Stay calm.

- Did you rob a bank or something? - No!

It's all mine. I didn't steal it.

- Okay, so why... - Why is the money strapped to my legs?

- Because I didn't want you to find out. - Find out about what?

These are my savings that were in Zürich.

And as we're close by, I thought I'd go pick some up.

Why not just transfer it?

- It's dirty money. - No! No!

- It's complicated. - So, it is then!

- It's well-earned money. - How did you earn it?

I... On the stock market.

Come on now, Laura! Please!

Let's not argue about this. We had such a nice trip.

- They all loved it... - Wait a moment.

Did we come here so you could smuggle your money over the border?

You needed a vehicle!

- No. That's not the case. - What is the case then?

This is just... Okay. I'm going to tell Eddy.

- Eddy already knows. - What?

Eddy already knows.

- Are you serious? - I didn't want to involve you in this.

- I wanted to protect you. - If they catch us, I'll be in for it.

Laura, hey! No one will check our bus at the border. Really!

This is what we'll do. We'll drive to Zürich

and you'll put the money back where you found it.

We're not driving over the border!

- No one will check us at the border! - End of discussion!

I won't let you fool me again. I'm so stupid!

I apologized to you for being prejudiced!

How ridiculous is that?

Shit.

What's going on, then?

Did someone die? Don't want to find out when the smell gives it away.

What?

So beautiful.

I want to be that pretty too.

With a pretty coat, dress and socks. I want to be pretty.

Being pretty isn't important in life, Franzi.

But I want it! I'm not a kid anymore.

I have a big head and I want beautiful things.

That fucking camel! That stinking freaking creature!

The whole trip was all for nothing.

Just to be clear, your share is also going back to the bank.

Payment only upon successful crossing of the border.

"Secret millionaire." Up yours, Saphira.

Hey, shouldn't we stop? It's red.

Looks aren't important. What's important is inner beauty.

- What? - Inner beauty is what's in your heart.

Your heart is here, on the left.

Things that come from the heart are good.

To hell with inner beauty. I want glamour!

- What was that? - No idea.

- Eddy is fast. - What?

Wait here. I'll be right back.

Out of the way!

What the...

Careful!

Careful!

Come on. Come down here.

Be a man and come down here! Come on, then.

Come down here!

Come down here, you asshole!

- Oliver... - I'll kill you!

I have to go now. Tell those idiots to kiss my ass.

Oh! And tell Magda I hate her.

Could you come to the ramp, please?

Where's Laura?

You should know. She ran after you. Call her.

What the hell happened?

- Shit! - What happened?

- Eddy ran off with the money. - All of it?

- No, just with his share. - How much?

100,000.

100,000? Euros?

100,000 euros?

- 100,000? - Yes!

I want 100,000 too.

- Yeah, yeah. - No, listen here.

You'll give me 100,000 euros too!

- Are you blackmailing me, Magda? - No, I'm just trying to help you.

We can pull this off without Eddy and Laura. I'll do it for 100,000.

Great idea, having a blind person drive us over the border.

No, you idiot! Rainman will drive.

- Okay. Right foot. - Fast.

- Left foot. - Wednesday.

- This is a bad idea. - Quiet! We need to concentrate.

Rainman, you can do it.

- No, put the gear in "D". - "D" for Daisy, please.

- Wow, Rainman! - Hey!

That's it, Rainman.

- You're an excellent driver. - An excellent driver.

- Yes. Keep your eyes on the road. - That's Laura's cell.

- Hello? - Magda, where are you?

It's Laura. Hello!

Where the hell are you? Where's the bus?

- We're in the bus. - But where is it?

Don't take it personally, but we're heading back.

- Stop the bus now! - No, we're not going to do that.

- Pass the phone to Eddy. - Yeah, Eddy... Well, Eddy...

- You can't. - I can't, because...

- Eddy's driving. - Rainman's driving.

Pass me the phone.

- Sorry, Laura. It was Magda's idea. - Oliver, stop the bus, right now!

Let's meet over the border once we're through.

Take a taxi. I'll pay for it.

- Oliver, I'm going to kill you! - Okay. Will do. Bye.

- I'm an excellent driver. - Yes.

Yes, darling.

We haven't discussed Rainman's share yet.

What? But he didn't ask for anything.

Smuggling your money over the border will cost you!

He doesn't even know what money is!

- How much does a bottle of water cost? - Still water, please.

- How much does it cost? - 50 euros.

Okay. And how much does a car cost?

- A fast car? - Yeah, why not?

- 50 euros? - That's that then.

How much do you want for driving the bus?

Fifty... thousand euros.

What the heck? Okay, I'll pay him 1,000 euros.

- He said 50,000 euros! - No!

First, he said 50 and then changed it to 1,000. There was a pause in between.

50,000. Are we good?

- Let's talk about it later. - And Franzi?

- But she's just sitting there. - You don't have a choice.

- How much do you want? - I don't need any money.

See? That's great. Not everyone is as greedy as you, Magda.

- I want glamour. - Glamour?

Rainman, left leg!

- Glamour. - What does it look like?

- It's pretty. - And?

- It's very pink. - And fluffy.

- But mainly pink. - And pretty.

- Sounds like Tiffy from Sesame Street. - Yes, and I want it.

And you can have it.

Damn it! What kind of shit is this?

Franzi, could you help me? From behind.

Could you lend us a hand too? Wait a moment, Rainman.

- Rainman, let the man through. - Wait a moment, man.

- Oh, God! - Okay. Now, pull it.

Thanks.

- May I help you? - Yes.

Tomorrow? Guess who's coming! Mr...

Guess who. Mr...

- Mr... Mrs. Schmitz. - Hey, over here! Talk to me.

We'd like the pink coat in the window.

For Franzi, the lady over here.

But that's an Agostini.

What do you mean with "but"?

Nothing.

You said, "But it's an Agostini". Why did you say "but"?

To indicate the price. And I'm not sure we have it in her size.

You're not wearing any socks.

Plus, it's not pink, it's French Rose.

Maybe you'll be able to find something in a different store.

He's not wearing socks, because he's wearing penny loafers.

Just like Elvis did in "Jailhouse Rock" in 1957.

- Know why they're called penny loafers? - Because he got them at J.C. Penney?

People used to put a penny in the shoe's slot for good luck.

Hence the name. And you usually wear them without socks.

- Come. We'll spend our money elsewhere. - Wait!

Just give me a second.

I'll check if we have it in your size.

- There. It really suits you. - Yes.

- Is it comfy? - Yes.

- Great. - I'm ready.

Hey! Yes, that's great!

- It looks good, right? - Get out of the way.

- Can we go now? - I'd like to show you some shoes.

- May I ask what the occasion is? - Lunch.

Okay, and what sort of lunch will it be?

You each get your own tray, and then you get potatoes, meatballs,

broccoli and such... And then you get sauce.

- And... I hate potatoes! - Okay.

- And camels. - Okay.

I know what lunch is, but where will it be taking place?

- At the center. - The center! So more like urban chic?

The center for people with disabilities.

Can we go now?

I want glitter shoes. Like the ones Taylor Swift wears.

Do you have a financial ceiling?

Do we look like we have financial issues?

- Champagne? - Yes!

- You're driving. - What a shame.

- Can I keep it on? - Sure. Follow me to the register.

Could you give us a moment?

Listen up.

- On three, pull down my pants. - Okay.

- One, two... - One, two, three.

Okay. Keep going. Keep going.

Yes.

What's that?

- Those are pressure marks. - Shit.

We have to put it somewhere else.

- May I show you some cosmetics? - That's out of the question.

I want make-up!

Okay.

Michi, raise your arm. Michi?

- Michi? - Michi, arm up.

Michi.

Michi, arm up, please.

Michi? Hello? Put your arm up!

Put that stupid thing away!

I'm sorry.

Hey... I'll buy you a new one, okay?

Sorry.

I promise.

It's the best thing for wrinkles.

It's a concealer for mature skin, but the sooner you get used to...

- Okay. We'd like to pay now. - Great!

Let's go, guys.

- What are you doing, Rainman? - Okay.

That makes a total of 20,900 Swiss francs.

Or would you rather pay in euros?

- In euros. - That would be 17,500 euros.

You won't find a girlfriend with make-up on.

Ever thought that perhaps he doesn't want a girlfriend?

- What do you mean? - Maybe he's gay.

- Magda, is Rainman gay? - Why should I care?

No idea. What do you think?

Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can tell who's gay.

Especially nowadays.

My gaydar is a bit rusty now that I've got a partner.

But I'm 70% certain that he's gay. Has he ever had a girlfriend?

- No. - 80%. What's his favorite song?

"Self Control".

- Laura Branigan. 90%. - I'm gay.

- 99%. - I'm gay. I'm so proud, you know?

- Is that Eddy? - Where?

- What is he doing? - Where?

With... With my money.

Magda, give me your cane.

- The Unico model. - Beautiful.

- Bediamonded with baguette diamonds. - Baguette. Great. Baguette.

I have an affinity to Swiss watches...

- Where's my money? - I don't have it!

- Where's my money? - Leave me alone!

- Is everything okay? - Magda!

- Magda! - Magda!

- Grab him! - Got him!

- You bitch! I bit my tongue. - Where's my money, Eddy?

Where's the fucking money?

- Where's the money, you jerk? - Where is it?

What's that? Did you buy it with my money?

Where is it? Magda, check his pockets.

Franzi, check the bags.

- Where's my money? - Nada.

Don't touch my finger! Hey! Hey!

- Anyone need help? - You will, if you don't beat it!

- I'm gay. - Check his underpants.

Magda!

Is that all?

Is that all?

- Is that all? - Yes!

- Hit him again if you want. - Sure.

I'll tell everyone what happened at the Christmas party!

- Christmas party? Do I want to know? - Nope.

- Is he dead? - Shit. I think you went too far, Magda.

Franzi, place your ear on his heart.

Well?

- "Well" what? - Hear anything?

- No inner beauty. - Just give me his hand.

Okay, he's just taking a nap.

Everything's fine. Franzi, I need your help.

That's in francs, right?

Yeah...

Yeah... Listen. We might have to wait a bit at the border.

- My bag's in another car. - What car?

My money is in another car, but I'll pay you at the border.

- You don't have any money? - I do, but it's in another car.

Just follow the road, no matter what, okay?

- Yes. - Okay?

- Repeat it. - No matter what.

- No, the first part. - I'll be fine.

Hey, four kilometers to the border. Awesome!

People, we're so awesome!

We're the most awesome disabled troop that's ever existed!

Screw the Avengers. Screw the A-Team. We're the...

- B-Team. - We're the B-Team!

- Bang! B-Team! - I'm done.

No, you're not done. You're Iron Man.

What am I saying? You're way cooler.

You're the Rainman, an excellent driver.

- I want to be something too! - Who do you want to be?

- Wonder Woman? - Taylor Swift.

- Taylor Swift? Okay. - Yes.

- Yes, okay. I'm done. - What? What do you mean?

- I'm done. - What? Why?

- Why is he doing that? - Doing what?

- No. Not now. You have to drive. - What?

- What is he doing? - Careful! Steer!

He has to shake it off.

- Steer! - Oh no! He has to shake it off.

- Magda, steer the bus! - Play his song!

Is it on YouTube?

Hey, Siri. Play "Self Control" by Laura Branigan.

Step on it!

- Why won't they overtake us? - I think they're disabled.

- "Self Control!" - Please repeat.

- Rainman, right! - "Self Control!"

No, left! Right is the gas pedal, you idiot!

- Magda, take the wheel! - I'm blind! Duh!

- Let's do it like that. - Calm down, Rainman.

Hey, Siri. Play "Self Control" by Laura...

Franzi, go to the front!

Siri, "Self Control."

I've understood your request.

Franzi, I think your goldfish's journey has come to an end.

Bye, Goldi.

Goldi was a good fish.

Yes, he was really good at swimming.

He was the best swimmer I've ever met.

We named our group home after him.

He was a part of Magda, but also a part of us.

And he had big dreams.

But life's not always fair.

He could've achieved anything.

He was still young and at the height of his creative powers.

He swam alone, day and night in his aquarium,

thinking that if he just kept swimming

he'd eventually reach the ocean.

He didn't realize he'd been swimming around in circles.

We deliver Goldi's body to Switzerland,

for thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever...

- Amen. - Amen.

That was nice.

Now call Laura and tell her to come pick us up.

- Her phone's in the bus. - Then call Zschetzsche.

- Backing out? - You'll get your money back.

No, Magda. That's out of the question. Let's do it.

I know Rainman better than you do. He won't drive any further.

You drive then. Hey, I'm serious!

- Don't you have a license? - I do.

I was on the ground staff at an airport.

- See? - But that was 16 years ago!

You drive the bus and I'll steer, okay?

The trip's over. Now, leave me alone.

It was your idea to get Rainman to drive!

I wanted to help you, you asshole!

We're so close and now you're chickening out?

God damn it! Where's the bus?

Know what I think? I think you can't drive.

You were the worst driver ever before you went blind.

Franzi, grab my legs, please.

Franzi... Magda, wait.

- Magda, what are you doing? - Didn't you want me to drive?

Then let me steer.

- Get off my steering wheel! - Hey. Magda, that'll never work.

Hands off! Just tell me which way to go.

Okay, okay. But slow down, okay?

- I can drive. Just give me directions. - Left.

Left, please!

Straight. A bit more to the right.

Right! That's too much!

Straight. The main road's up ahead.

- Any cars? - No. 20 meters.

Ten meters. Now, to the right.

No, that was too much to the right!

What are you doing?

You're shit at this. I drive through contact.

Blind people feel their way around things.

You're destroying the bus!

Magda, stop the bus now!

Stop!

Are you driving like that because you're blind or drunk?

We'll do it the way I said. You'll drive and I'll steer.

Hey! Wait! Hello!

So, the border's up ahead.

- Would you take off your blind badge? - Yes.

Rainman, no more talking from now on, okay?

- Yes. - Not a word.

- Not a word. - From now on.

- Yes. Are we good? - Yes.

Yes. Not a word. We're good.

You're on your own for the last stretch. I'll guide you.

Yes.

- Yes, we can do it. - No! Grab it!

- What? Your thumb? - Yes. It's a joystick.

You steer the thumb, I'll steer the bus.

- Keep your eyes on the road! - Why? I can't see anyway.

But they don't need to know that!

Chill! They won't check a disabled bus.

Could you turn off the engine?

Wind down the window.

- Could you wind down the window? - Okay! Okay!

- Good day. - I'd like to see your license, please.

- Yes! - Have you been drinking?

- You're asking if I've been drinking? - Yes.

Yes, but not for a while.

- How long ago was that then? - A long time ago. Months ago.

But aren't you just meant to ask if we have something to declare?

- Anything to declare? - No, nothing.

- License, please. - Yes, of course.

- Oh, shit! - Yes?

I'm afraid I left it at the center.

You have no idea what it's like looking after so many disabled people.

- So much stress! - Registration then, please.

Yes, of course.

Just a moment.

- I'll get it. - My colleague will get it.

What happened to the side mirror?

The right side mirror is not mandatory.

Check in your handbook.

Yep. Here it is.

Here.

So, we've got it. Got it. Got it.

I'm gay.

Magda is blind.

- Who's Magda? - Oh, Rainman...

No surprise, seeing how she drives.

- So... Busy day? - Are you nuts?

- Busy? - Are you two the carers?

- Yes, exactly. - Got your carer IDs?

- We have nothing to declare, so why... - Step outside.

So, you mean... You want me to step outside?

What else?

Wouldn't you rather come in? It's much more comfortable in here.

- Step outside. - He can't walk.

- True. I can't. I'm a paraplegic. - I thought you were the carer.

Yes, I am. It's a new concept

called "Disabled... People with disabilities for each other".

The inclusion of wheelchair users in patient care professions.

By the disabled. For the disabled.

But my colleague Magda can walk.

- She can get out if you want her to. - Help! Help me!

Release me!

Eddy, behave yourself in front of the officers.

- I'm being maltreated! - Shut it!

I'm being abused!

See what happens when he's stressed? Can we go now?

What's wrong with him?

- He's... - Hello? Help me!

- Classic disability. - Yes, just a classic disability.

If you don't have any papers, we'll call the police...

Listen up, Mr... Mr... You never told us your name.

- My name's right here. - Yeah! But how do you pronounce it?

- "Müller?" - Listen up, customs officer Müller!

Isn't the registration enough for you?

- Well... - Why do you torture us?

We'll call the Federal Police. Torsten, call Norbert.

- I'm being abused! - Tell him to send someone over.

Hey. Over here. I can help.

- I can help. - And you are?

I'm the carer. The head carer.

- I can explain everything. - ID?

Yes. Yes, of course.

Hey.

- Help! Laura, help! - Here.

Laura. Help me, Laura!

But please hurry, because if he doesn't get his meds in the next 20 minutes,

I'll blame you for his head injuries.

Help!

Hey! Hello?

- Thank you. - Help me! Help!

Everything's fine. You need to get your mirror replaced.

- You're free to go. - Thank you so much.

Can't you see what they've done to me? Please!

Laura!

- Well, shall I drive, or... - Shut up!

Why the hell was Magda at the wheel?

Rainman didn't want to drive anymore.

Rainman was driving? Are you kidding me?

Are you nuts? I'm still in my fucking probation period!

Why is the bus in this state?

And why aren't you in your wheelchair?

And why do you look like Puff Daddy?

They tied me up and beat me up.

Shut up!

Why does Franzi look like a sex worker and Michi...

Where's Michi?

Shut up!

Magda, I told you to keep an eye on him!

How could I have done that too? I was driving the bus!

- Fuck. Fuck! - You asked Magda to keep an eye on him?

- Fuck, fuck, fuck! - Where did you last see him?

I don't know. They nearly killed me.

- He's got all the money. - What? Who?

Michi. I think he was on the field with us.

What field?

Oh, man! Where we had the accident.

This is just shit!

Michi!

Michi!

Michi!

Michi!

He can't be far.

Michi!

We'll find him. I promise.

You only want to find Michi because your money's stuck to him.

Michi!

Believe me. I want to find Michi as much as you do.

It's not about the money.

Hey! Hello? Could you untie me please?

Could you please untie me?

I'm calling the police.

Hey, thanks for helping us at the border.

I didn't do it for you.

- Emergency call center. - Hello.

I'd like to report a missing person. His name is Michi Wolter.

I'm his carer.

We last saw him about an hour ago.

- What? - I know where he is.

I know where he is!

Sorry! We're way more disabled than you are.

Let's go!

- Hello. We have to get in. - How many?

- What? - How many are you?

- Seven. No! Six. - 50,000.

- Four. Four. - Well?

- Four. - Including the wheelchair user?

- Yes. Why? - He gets in for free.

- Okay. Then three. - Have they got something too?

We just need the tickets, please. We don't want a discount.

As you wish.

As their carer, you also get a discount.

Okay. Whatever!

- Please! No more discounts. - 105 Francs.

- 105 Francs! - Do you take euros?

Yeah?

No smaller bills?

Oh, God! Take my card.

The connection's really bad here.

Okay, let's go! Let's go!

Rainman, we're looking for Michi. He must be here somewhere.

- Michi was on TV. - What?

- Michi was on TV. - What?

- It really is him. - When was that picture taken?

About 15 minutes ago. Do you want a copy?

Let's split up.

Rainman, you stay here and hand out his picture. What's your name?

- Gökhan. - Can you look after Rainman?

- Sure. - Is that okay?

Let's do that. We're good.

Mom, what's he doing there?

He's disabled, darling.

Have you seen this man? He's missing.

Excuse me. Have you seen this man? The one with...

- Are you gay? - Yes, I'm gay.

Me too.

- You can't ride on your own. - Why not?

Safety regulations.

Is anyone here alone? Hello?

Rad.

Rad.

Careful!

- Look! - Where did you get that?

I know where he is!

Out of the way!

Careful! Out of the way!

Out of the way!

Michi! Michi!

And, we're off.

Let me through!

Michi!

Come on.

So? What...

What did she say?

Don't worry. I didn't tell on you.

Laura, I'm...

I'm so sorry.

Take care, Oliver.

Do you like your cheesecake?

Thank you.

It's delicious.

You haven't even tried it.

Very good. Well done.

Okay, those of you who are up are free to go.

- Oliver? - I'm fine. I'll go in a bit.

- You can't just... - I just want to lay here a while.

Okay.

- Did we wake you? - What are you doing here?

What a warm welcome.

We wanted to check you're still alive. Long time no see.

- I haven't needed any Wi-Fi. - Shame. Real shame.

- Did we do something wrong? - What do you want?

- Let's take him with us. - Yes.

No, Franzi. Please, just leave me here.

- What's that smell? - My coat.

- Ever heard of dry cleaning? - Help me, Magda.

Wait. You have to lock the brake first.

- Break it. - No, brake.

God, you're heavy.

Well done. I'm so proud, you know.

- Not so fast, Franzi. - Yes!

Like this?

An excellent driver. Now I need make-up. I'm so chic.

SEX IN A WHEELCHAIR

- Is it a bad time? - No. It's okay.

There's a parcel for you. It was just delivered.

Shall I open it for you?

Thank you, Eddy.

What could it be?

- Did you get the whisky? - Yes, thank you. Here it is. Thank you.

I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit you yet.

I've been meaning to visit you for a while now.

It's okay.

As for your new contract, I'd like to give you your own department.

You can choose your own team. Julius' people are also available.

What about Julius?

Julius no longer works for us. I think you know why.

I'll send you a draft contract.

When you're back, we'll do something about the stairs at the entrance.

- Are you even allowed to drink whisky? - Sure. Why shouldn't I be?

- Due to your situation. - No, I can drink whisky.

- Excuse me? - I can drink whisky. Sure.

The connection...

I can't hear...

RECONNECT

What's that?

This, dear Magda, is an excellent single malt.

Magda.

- Franzi? - Nope.

- Quickly, before Eddy comes. Cheers. - Cheers.

Tell me, Magda.

So, you and... Eddy.

You two had some sort of...

- Don't ask! - Can I tell him?

- Go on. - Wednesday.

- They had sex. - Nonsense!

- Everyone knows. - That's enough, now!

When will Laura be back?

- She won't be back. - Why not?

- Laura was fired, Franzi. - By whom?

- Ms. Zschetzsche. - But she didn't do anything wrong.

- I know. It wasn't her fault. - So, tell her!

- Whom? - Ms. Zenetzsche.

- What? - That it's our fault.

No, it wasn't our fault. It was my fault. It was my plan.

You wouldn't have come up with it without me.

- It's my fault. - Franzi, it really wasn't your fault.

- But I want it to be. - Whatever. It was also your fault.

- So go tell her. - Tell whom?

- Ms. Zenetsche. - Tell her what?

That it was all my fault.

Ms. Zschetzsche, the whole camel therapy thing was...

Okay.

Yeah. I bet you're wondering why...

What is it?

But he was an excellent...

- Eddy told me everything. - Everything?

Yes. That's why he got Monday off.

Great.

But you should know that Laura had nothing to do with this.

Laura... Yeah, I think she really likes you.

She told me a cute story about how the bus ended up the way it did.

About how she had to swerve, because there was a fox on the road.

I think you were the fox.

Yeah, well... As I said, I'm really sorry.

Oliver...

- This center was built to help people. - Yes. Exactly...

You also know it belongs to a charitable foundation.

Yes, and as I...

And you know that a charitable foundation can accept donations.

- Yes. - Even anonymous donations.

Including anonymous cash donations. Still with me?

Yeah... But I'm not quite sure I follow.

Know many people who stash their money abroad and who want it back?

- More or less? - I've been in finance for ten years.

That's great!

Let's say we were to transport illegal money over the border

in return for a commission, what would a reasonable commission fee be?

20, 30%?

- See this grant application form? - Yes.

- Now you don't. - You're suggesting, Ms. Zschetzsche...

- Ingeborg. - What?

- Call me Ingeborg. - Ingeborg.

- Not you, Rainer! - Real shame.

Ingeborg, you're saying you want the center to offer smuggling trips

for tax fraudsters and get paid in commission?

Yes.

Okay. But on one condition.

- Which is? - Rehire Laura.

- It's not like I fired her, you know. - You didn't?

Of course not. She quit.

Welcome to Burger King. Your order, please.

Laura, we need to talk.

Your order, please...

I'd like to talk to you. Could you come out?

No. Just say it.

- Why did you tell Ingeborg you quit? - Who's Ingeborg?

I mean Ms. Zschetzsche. Why did you leave the job?

Are you here to quote Reinhold Messner again?

You said it was your dream job.

- Well, I was wrong. - No! No! Why do you say that?

- Because I screwed up. - No!

- Yes! I was a shitty carer. - No!

- Please, Laura! - No!

That's bullshit. You're a fantastic carer.

Franzi asks about you every day.

This wouldn't have happened if I wasn't a complete idiot.

- Excuse me! - What?

- Need any help? - No, I'm talking here.

- How long will it take? - As long as it takes, okay? Got it?

Laura, listen to me.

"If you fight, you might lose,

if you don't, you have already lost."

I don't remember who said that.

Bertolt Brecht.

You must order now.

Yeah. Yes, I know.

I don't know...

- Fries. Six fries. With ketchup. - Small, large, medium?

Large. And a Fanta, please.

19.53, please!

Is the Fanta for Franzi?

Welcome to Burger King. Your order, please.

Oliver!

I forgot the ketchup.

Are you going somewhere?

Luxembourg.

Luxembourg?

I see them.

- What are they doing? - He has to tell her he loves her.

- As if you know about all that. - I know what love is.

Love comes from the left. From the heart.

I know how sex works. You want to know?

No, please don't.

Leave the door open. It's so hot.

Come on! I'm sweating like your mom during a paternity test!

And you think I want in?

- What's in it for you? - Nothing.

Well, okay. We each get a tiny bonus.

Everyone gets the same amount. And so would you if you came along.

I want double.

Impossible. It all goes to the center. You can't take from that money.

I want your share. For the last trip.

I'll also take you out for yokitari. You won't have to pay.

It's called "yakitori".

Open the door, Eddy!

Come on. I'm sorry.

I really am.

There we go.

- Laura! - Franzi!

- I missed you so much! - So did I!

- Like this? - Yes.

- I can drink a beer. Yes. - Michi!

And we're back with traffic jam updates...

Laura, let me know when you feel tired.

How could you get fries, but no mayonnaise?

I'm an excellent driver.

- I have to pee. - I told you not to drink so much Fanta.

Michi.

A promise is a promise.

Eddy, I braided something for you as an apology.

- What? - Your mom's chest hair!

What are you doing?

- We're fine. - The side mirror fell off!

- What a shame. Yes. - Should we drive? I want fries.

- Rainman, pass the bag along. - Are we good? We're good.

THE GOLDFISH

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