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Previously onYoung Sheldon...All right, let me start
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00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:13,448
by saying that I owe you
an apology.
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00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:16,581
I want you to know
that I'm trying to change.
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00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:17,887
What do you want from me?
5
00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,584
One more chance.
6
00:00:19,628 --> 00:00:21,586
Thanks again for giving me
another shot.
7
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:24,676
Well, I'm trying to get
better at forgiving people.
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00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,113
Well, I'm glad to hear
you say that,
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00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:28,376
'cause I'm the one who egged your store last night.
10
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:30,987
Hmm, forgiving people sucks.
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00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,336
Should we say grace?
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00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:33,381
Heck yeah!
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00:00:33,424 --> 00:00:36,036
Oh, cool, let's say grace.
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00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:36,993
GEORGE JR.:
Well?
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00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,429
It's very...
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00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:39,952
colorful.
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00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:41,780
Check out the best part.
18
00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:47,221
Want to try it out?
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00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,354
ADULT SHELDON:
As long as I can remember,
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00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:53,183
unlocking the mechanisms that
govern the physical universe
21
00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:55,620
was my greatest passion.
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00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:58,623
Whatcha workin' on?Dungeons & Dragons.
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00:00:58,667 --> 00:00:59,972
ADULT SHELDON:
Hey, even Hawking took
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00:01:00,016 --> 00:01:01,670
a roll through the park
once in a while.
25
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:04,586
I'm working on a new campaign
to play with Tam and Billy.
26
00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,283
You know how I feel
about that game.
27
00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:08,416
I'm aware, which is why
the most wicked thing
28
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:09,765
in it is my sense of humor.
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00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:10,940
[doorbell rings]
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00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:13,595
[sighs]
I still don't like it.
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00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:17,120
But you are playing with other
kids, so I'll take it as a win.
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00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,296
ADULT SHELDON: Not just playing
with other kids,
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00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,559
controlling every aspect
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00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:25,389
of their destiny as their
Dungeon Master overlord.
35
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:27,739
I didn't believe in God but
I sure loved acting like one.
36
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,438
Hey, Mary.
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00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:32,744
Wayne, come on in.Thank you.
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00:01:32,788 --> 00:01:34,877
George just ran
to pick up some beers.
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00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,400
It's funny when he runs,
ain't it?
40
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:37,923
Oh, hey,Darlene wanted
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00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,317
to know if you were gonna packanything nice to wear.
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00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:41,318
For what?
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00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:43,146
The coaches conference.
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00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,800
I wasn't going to that.
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00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:46,106
Darlene's going?
46
00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:47,542
A free weekend in San Antonio?
47
00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:49,283
[chuckles]
Hotel on the river?
48
00:01:49,326 --> 00:01:50,197
Of course she's going.
49
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,633
Oh.
50
00:01:51,676 --> 00:01:52,764
Did George not invite you?
51
00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:55,158
No, he didn't.
52
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,987
Honestly,
what is wrong with that man?
53
00:01:58,030 --> 00:01:59,467
Game time!
54
00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:03,819
What?
55
00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:06,082
Mom's just mad I'm playingDungeons & Dragons.
56
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,518
Oh, good.
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00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:11,522
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
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00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:15,178
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
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00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,789
♪ I bet I could be your hero
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00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:20,662
♪ I am a mighty little man
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00:02:20,705 --> 00:02:23,969
♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
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00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:31,063
GEORGE SR.: I didn't know
he was bringing his wife.
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00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:33,979
And of course it didn't even
occur to you to ask me?
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00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:36,199
Well, no, but
isn't that better
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00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:38,419
than thinking about it
and then not doing it?
66
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:39,550
They both make you a jerk.
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00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:41,509
Since when are you interested
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00:02:41,552 --> 00:02:43,206
in a coaches conference?
69
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,426
I am interested in a weekend
70
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:48,080
at a nice hotel by a river.
71
00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:50,170
Hotel is pretty nice.
72
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:54,174
What's up?
73
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:55,610
Watching the game with your dad.
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00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:56,611
Where is he?
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00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:58,961
Getting yelled at by your mom.
76
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,397
Cool.
77
00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:05,489
Any chance you might wantto watch the kids this weekend?
78
00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:07,012
Sure, no problem.Good.
79
00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:09,450
I thought you and Dalemight have plans.
80
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,582
We might hang out, but...
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00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,193
it's fine.
82
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:14,672
Something going on?
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00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,500
Mm-mm.
84
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:18,676
Sounds like something.
85
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,201
Well...
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00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:25,161
he's trying to be a
better person, and...
87
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,597
it's weird.
88
00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:27,598
Weird how?
89
00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:29,513
Just doesn't seem natural.
90
00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,515
I don't follow.
91
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:34,562
Like when you see a dancing bear
at the circus,
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00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:38,653
and you know it just wants
to rip some clown's head off.
93
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:41,133
That's graphic.
94
00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,831
Where are y'all going?
95
00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:45,312
George has a coaches conferencein San Antonio.
96
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:47,879
Oh, and you weaseled your
way in? Good for you.
97
00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:48,880
I didn't weasel.
98
00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,404
So it was his idea?
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00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:51,883
Not exactly.
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00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:55,365
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a weasel.
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00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:56,975
[laughs]
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00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:59,239
Congratulations.
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00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:02,067
[rock music playing faintly]
104
00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:07,899
Getting ready for your trip?
105
00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:09,292
Yep.
106
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,946
Dale told me
you're taking his camper.
107
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:13,296
Yeah. We're gonna head down
with Wayne and his wife.
108
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,515
Cool.
109
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:17,735
Just out of curiosity,
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00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,737
when exactly
are you and Mom leaving,
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00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:21,957
and when exactly
are y'all coming back?
112
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,785
You're not bringing
your girlfriend here.
113
00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:26,918
Excuse me for taking an interest
in your life.
114
00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,920
Besides, your grandma'll be here
the whole time.
115
00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:31,706
Never mind.
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00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,316
Wait.
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00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,318
So her house'll be empty?
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00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:36,754
Look, I used to be your age,
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00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:39,453
but can you try thinking
with your brain for once?
120
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:40,802
If you used to be my age,
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00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:42,412
I think you know
the answer to that.
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00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:47,722
MARY:
All right, baby,
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00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,724
we're leaving here
in a few minutes,
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00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:52,901
but we'll be back on Sunday
and your meemaw'll be here.
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00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:56,470
Sheldon?
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00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:57,906
What?
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00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,211
We're leaving.
128
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,778
Where are you going?
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00:05:00,822 --> 00:05:03,172
To San Antonio.
130
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:05,217
When are you leaving?
131
00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:06,349
In a few minutes.
132
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:07,655
When will you get back?
133
00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,918
Sunday.But who's going to watch us?
134
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,572
Meemaw.
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00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:12,834
Okay. Bye.
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00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:15,053
Can you at least
give me a hug?
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00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,492
I can.
138
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:22,757
Hey. Just finishing up.
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00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:23,845
[closes cash
register]
140
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:24,759
See you again soon.
141
00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:27,849
How you doing?
142
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:30,242
All right, I guess.
143
00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:32,027
Uh, Dale here?
144
00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:34,508
He went to go hang out
with my meemaw, who, by the way,
145
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,466
is at my house all weekend,
so that's a no-go.
146
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:37,772
Okay.
147
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,295
What do you want to do later?
148
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,515
Movies? Putt-putt?
149
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,778
I was thinking
maybe we could go get a test.
150
00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:45,562
What kind of test?
151
00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:48,130
The... pregnancy kind.
152
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,307
[electronic tones sound]We're closed.
153
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,656
But the sign says...
154
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,876
We're closed![electronic tones sound]
155
00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:02,927
This can't be happening.
How sure are you?
156
00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:04,625
I'm not sure. That's why
I want to get the test.
157
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,017
Well, you don't
look pregnant.
158
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:08,019
That's not how it
works, Georgie.
159
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:10,500
I know.
I'm just freaking out right now.
160
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:13,285
Let's just go to
the drugstore. Right.
161
00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:14,765
I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
162
00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,637
Please don't say that.
163
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,508
So you've stayed
at this hotel before?
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00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:20,118
Oh, yeah. It's nice.
165
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:23,121
They got an indoor pool
and a killer breakfast buffet.
166
00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:25,515
There's even a real nice gym
we'll walk right past
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00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:27,474
on the way
to the breakfast buffet.
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00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,171
Why didn't you tell me
there was a pool?
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00:06:29,214 --> 00:06:30,694
I would've brought
my bathing suit.
170
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:33,523
Hotels have pools-- didn't think
I needed to mention it.
171
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:35,612
Well, it would have been nice
if you did.
172
00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:37,222
They also have beds
in the rooms.
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00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:38,789
Did you remember your pajamas?
174
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,400
Okay, you don't have to act
175
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:42,314
like that.Well, you don't
need to blame me
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00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:43,490
'cause you forgot
your bathing suit.
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00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,143
Well, I guess
we're not going in the pool.
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00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:47,972
Maybe you're not.
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00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:49,931
I packed my suit.
180
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:52,412
Are you gonna behave like this
all weekend?
181
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:54,109
What?
Responsible and fun-loving?
182
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:55,458
Probably.
183
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:57,547
You are such a...
184
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,549
monkey butt.
185
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:02,160
[laughs]:
Come on.
186
00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:04,511
There's got to be more
insulting name you can call me.
187
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:06,600
I am sure there is,
but they're about to get in
188
00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:08,340
and they do not need
to hear us arguing.
189
00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:12,083
Whoo-wee!
Ha-ha! Hey, Mary.
190
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:13,781
Darlene,good to see you.Oh, hey.
191
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:15,304
George, how's it going?
192
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:17,654
Good, good.
We were definitely not arguing
193
00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,961
ten seconds ago.
194
00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:25,096
I figured we'd order pizza.
195
00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:26,097
Okay.
196
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:28,186
What do you want on it?
197
00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:30,493
Everything
except onions,
198
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:33,104
green peppers,
mushrooms,
199
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,150
spinach...No vegetables. Got it.
200
00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:37,021
How about
a little salad, too?
201
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:38,458
If you like wasting money.
202
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,547
Spoken like a true Texan.
203
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:42,462
So what's Sheldon like?
204
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:43,985
A pain in the ass.
205
00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:47,467
No, he means, what does
Sheldon like on his pizza?
206
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,164
Oh.
207
00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:51,601
Sheldon! What do you
want on your pizza!?
208
00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:53,081
Still glad you came?
209
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,517
Actually, I am.
210
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,693
I don't want any pizza.
211
00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:58,565
See? Pain in the ass.
212
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,697
Well, we can get something else.
213
00:08:00,741 --> 00:08:02,612
I don't want anything.
I'm not hungry.
214
00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:03,700
Well, what's the matter?
215
00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:05,267
My friends were
supposed to play
216
00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:06,660
Dungeons & Dragons
with me,
217
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:08,226
but they cancelled.
218
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:09,837
Aw. Sorry.
219
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,534
We can play it
with you.
220
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:12,796
Really?
221
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,103
Dale, that's nice, but...
222
00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:16,713
I don't think you'll like it.
223
00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,541
Afraid I might beat you?
224
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,674
Actually, there's no one winner.
It's a cooperative game
225
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:23,633
where you use your imagination
to explore a fantasy world
226
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,983
with the help of the Dungeon
Master's preplanned scenarios
227
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:29,334
and the rolling
of polyhedral dice.
228
00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:30,945
Still sound fun?
229
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,642
Yeah.
230
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:33,861
Sorta.
231
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:42,304
I got it.
232
00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:43,523
Anybody see you?No. And I didn't
233
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:45,568
recognize the guy
behind the counter,
234
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,657
but I used an Italian accent
just in case.
235
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:49,311
Please tell me you're joking.
236
00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:51,443
[Italian accent]:
Oh, I'm-a no joking.
237
00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:53,097
Oh, God.
238
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:55,099
Here. Do it.I can't do it here.
239
00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:56,623
I have to pee on it.
240
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:59,277
Okay, fine.
241
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:01,323
Although we've done
crazier stuff in this truck.
242
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:02,672
[starts engine]
243
00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:04,500
Oh, by the way, I made
reservations tonight
244
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,371
at that, uh, steakhouse
on the Riverwalk.
245
00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:08,330
Ooh, fancy.Well, yeah.
246
00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:11,159
Nothing says fancy like
a two-pound slab of meat.
247
00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:12,769
Oh, shoot.
248
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:14,554
I didn't pack my dress shoes.
249
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:16,077
See, George?
It might be helpful
250
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,427
if you mentioned some
of these things ahead of time.
251
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:20,995
Here we go.Wayne's always doing
stuff like this.
252
00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:23,084
I'm glad to know
it's not just us.
253
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:25,347
That's why I packed his shoes
last night.
254
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:29,090
You did?
Baby, you're the best.
255
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,961
Well, how can I be the best
when you are?
256
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,573
It is just us.
257
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:37,098
So, how does this work?
258
00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:39,013
You start by creating
your character.
259
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:41,363
I want to be a Ninja Turtle
Princess of Power.
260
00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:43,713
Put me down
for that, too.
261
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:46,586
You have to choose from
one of the character classes.
262
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,326
There's thief, druid,
paladin, wizard...
263
00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:50,764
Ooh, wizard. I want that.All right.
264
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,200
Then I'll use my magic
to turn me
265
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:54,376
into a Ninja Turtle
Princess of Power.
266
00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:55,638
No.
267
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,814
W-Wh-- Wait a minute.
What's a paladin?
268
00:09:57,858 --> 00:10:00,643
A paladin is a holy knight who
crusades in the name of good.
269
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:02,210
Oh, I like that.
270
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:03,559
I want to be that.
271
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,517
Really?Yeah, I've been meaning
272
00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:07,868
to do more crusading
in the name of good.
273
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:10,653
Okay.
274
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,916
You say you got thief
on that list?
275
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,178
I'll be a thief.
276
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:16,746
That sounds like fun.
277
00:10:18,008 --> 00:10:19,183
Okay, I think I got it.
278
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:21,446
It takes ten minutes
for the results.
279
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,752
You want me to go in with you?
280
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:24,014
To watch me pee on a stick?
281
00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:25,233
I'm being supportive right now.
282
00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:26,451
You could try the same.
283
00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:28,279
[sighs]
284
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:31,631
[clock ticking]
285
00:10:32,806 --> 00:10:34,938
[heart beating]
286
00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:42,511
I'm pregnant.
You sure I'm not too heavy?
287
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:43,947
No, I got it.
288
00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:47,647
I guess it's time
to do what people do
289
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:48,778
on their wedding night.
290
00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:50,214
Georgie, we're gonna be parents.
291
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,389
We don't do that anymore.
292
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:53,348
Oh, right.
293
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:56,568
Besides, my water just broke
all over your bed.
294
00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:57,918
Dadgum it.
295
00:10:57,961 --> 00:10:59,571
[door opens]
296
00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:01,878
Stop having fun, and help me
take care of these babies.
297
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,402
[babies bawling]But I just got home
from my day job.
298
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:06,361
And I only have ten minutes
till my night job.
299
00:11:06,404 --> 00:11:08,189
That's ten minutes
you could be helping.
300
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,452
No go change whichever
this one is.
301
00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:11,975
[babies continue bawling]
302
00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:13,498
Georgie,
303
00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,979
there's a band called
Guns N' Roses on the phone.
304
00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:17,938
Really?
305
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:19,853
Yeah. The guitarist
hurt his hand,
306
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,637
and they want you to fill in.
307
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:26,903
Tell them I can't.
I'm a dad now.
308
00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:28,426
Okay.
309
00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:33,605
[sighs]
This is a long ten minutes.
310
00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:44,573
Ooh, this camper is so cool.
311
00:11:44,616 --> 00:11:46,618
We borrowed it
from my mom's boyfriend.
312
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:48,969
Yeah, you might not want
to poke around too much.
313
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:51,798
You find my mother-in-law's bra,
I'm driving into a brick wall.
314
00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:52,842
[chuckles]
315
00:11:52,886 --> 00:11:53,756
Maybe we get one of these.
316
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,236
Spend our summers
317
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:56,933
driving around,
just the two of us.
318
00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:59,762
That sounds amazing.
Where would we go first?
319
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,199
Does it even matter?We don't even have
to take it out the driveway.
320
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,593
[chuckles] You got that right.
321
00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:06,987
Can you guys not do that?Do what?
322
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:10,033
Be so happy.
You're married. Act like it.
323
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:13,210
How do you put up with him?
324
00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:16,126
That's a good question.
What's your secret?
325
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,520
BOTH [laughing]:
Communication.
326
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:19,695
Oh, God.
327
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,050
Well?
I'm not.
328
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:29,792
Really?
We're good.
329
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:31,751
Oh, thank God.
330
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,800
What a relief.I know.
331
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:40,237
We better stop hugging,
332
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:41,325
or you're gonna need
another stick to pee on.
333
00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:45,721
You enter a dark
and musty crypt.
334
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,810
Torches along the walls
fill the room
335
00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:49,899
with a flickering light.
336
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:53,163
In the center of the room is
a mysterious glowing chest.
337
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:54,817
What do you do?
338
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:55,818
I open the chest.
339
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,428
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
340
00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:59,866
It's a chest in the middle
of a crypt.
341
00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:01,693
That's a little suspicious,
don't you think?
342
00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:03,870
I don't know. I'm not even sure
what a crypt is.
343
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,219
Aah!
344
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,047
It could be booby-trapped.
345
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,876
SHELDON:
Thieves have the ability to check for traps.
346
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:11,834
Good for me, I can do that.
347
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:15,577
Hold it. This chest
does not belong to us.
348
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,971
So?
349
00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:19,929
I'm a paladin.
350
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:22,932
It's not a very...
paladin-y thing to do.
351
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,542
You didn't want to steal
the key,
352
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:25,630
You didn't want to fight
the goblins.
353
00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:27,632
You wouldn't even kill
the spider.
354
00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:30,200
You put it in a cup
and took it outside.
355
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:31,288
Well, that wasn't in the game.
356
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:32,899
I know.
357
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,988
It was in real life,
which is worse.
358
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:38,905
Could me and your meemaw have
a little privacy, please?
359
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:40,863
We can leave, but we're
still gonna listen.[Sheldon rolls dice]
360
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:42,386
Also, you find no traps.
361
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:46,738
What is your problem?
362
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,610
You act like
Mr. Goody Two-shoes,
363
00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:51,178
and you expect meto believe that's real?Yeah.
364
00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:52,353
Well, I don't.
365
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:54,746
Sheldon said there were
no traps.
366
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,618
[scoffs]
367
00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:59,186
Now, I know it's hokey,
but at least once a day,
368
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:02,929
Darlene and I say one thing that
we appreciate about each other.
369
00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:05,018
Isn't that sweet?
370
00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:06,193
It was Wayne's idea.
371
00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:08,804
I appreciate you saying that.
372
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:09,674
And I'm gonna vomit.
373
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:13,069
It's fine.
374
00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:14,897
We-we know
we appreciate each other.
375
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,639
Mary, is it fine?
376
00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:20,207
I guess it wouldn't hurt
377
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,904
to hear it once in a while.
378
00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:23,950
George?
379
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,561
What? Now?
380
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:27,954
You got something better to do?
381
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,433
Come on, George.
382
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:30,826
This is ridiculous.
383
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,262
Just do it, you baby.
384
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:39,052
Fine. Mary, I appreciate you.
385
00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:40,880
That's the best you can do?
386
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:44,057
Baby, you have any single
friends for this poor woman?
387
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:50,933
Mary, I appreciate how much
you take care of the house
388
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:54,067
and... all of us.
389
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:57,200
I know it's not easy.
390
00:14:58,549 --> 00:15:00,900
Thank you.
That means a lot.
391
00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:04,251
I love it. Mary, you're up.
392
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:06,253
[chuckles]
393
00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:08,037
Well, George...
394
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:14,217
I appreciate how hard you work.
395
00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:17,307
I know you make a lot
of sacrifices for us,
396
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:20,136
and you don't get enough
credit for that.
397
00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:26,273
Thank you.
398
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:33,367
Now, let's hear how much
you appreciate me
399
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,151
for fixing your marriage.
400
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:37,153
Shut up, Wayne.
[chuckling]
401
00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:41,070
I wonder who came up
with blue raspberry.
402
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:42,942
Raspberries ain't blue.
403
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:45,509
It should be blueberry.You'd think.
404
00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:48,948
But blueberries ain't
blue either, they're purple.
405
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:51,863
The whole blue food situation
in this country needs some work.
406
00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:53,778
[laughs]
407
00:15:53,822 --> 00:15:55,128
So, what do you want to do?
408
00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:57,347
Probably something
with our clothes on.
409
00:15:57,391 --> 00:15:59,219
No kidding. That was scary.
410
00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:01,221
Terrifying.I was afraid
411
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:02,265
I was gonna have
to marry you.
412
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,484
Afraid?
413
00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:05,355
Shaking in my boots.
414
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:07,444
And what, exactly,
would be so terrible
415
00:16:07,488 --> 00:16:08,837
about marrying me?
416
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:12,014
I didn't say terrible.
417
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,842
You can be afraid of things
that are great.
418
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:15,539
Like what?
419
00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:17,846
Uh...
420
00:16:17,889 --> 00:16:20,109
Oh, roller coasters.
421
00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:22,198
You're an idiot.
422
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,374
Roller coasters is
a good answer.
423
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:27,029
I didn't say sharks, which is
what I thought of first.
424
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,465
You're making it worse.
425
00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:30,293
How is I worse?
I didn't say it.
426
00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:33,949
Roller coasters is
a good answer.
427
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,996
What happened to you?
You used to be fun.
428
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,519
Come on, I'm playing
this stupid game
429
00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:40,477
with your grandkids.That's rude.
430
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:42,653
Cut the crap.
We both know this isn't you.
431
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,177
Oh, I can't win with you.
432
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:46,483
What does that mean?Forget it.
433
00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:48,311
No, I'm not gonna forget it.
Talk to me.
434
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,618
I don't want to.Missy, help me out here.
435
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,359
Communication is important.
436
00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:54,187
I learned that on the
Fresh Princeshow.Oh...
437
00:16:57,581 --> 00:17:00,106
I asked you to marry me
and you turned me down flat.
438
00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:01,933
Are you still mad about that?
439
00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:03,631
Oh, hell yeah I'm still
mad about that.
440
00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:04,893
He proposed?
441
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,938
He just said he did.
Pay attention.
442
00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:09,593
And you didn't even
take it seriously.
443
00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:12,335
I didn't take it seriously
because you were drunk.
444
00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:13,815
That's when I'm the most honest.
445
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,773
You can ask anybody at the bar.
446
00:17:15,817 --> 00:17:17,471
Okay, fine. That still
doesn't change the fact
447
00:17:17,514 --> 00:17:18,994
that I'm not interested
448
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,778
in getting married again.Why not?
449
00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:23,303
I don't have to explain
myself to you.
450
00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:25,609
I'd like to know.And I'd like to play D&D.
451
00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:27,655
We've been through this.
452
00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:30,049
I like my life
just the way it is,
453
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:33,356
and if you can't work with that,
then, well...
454
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,184
Well what?
455
00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:37,621
Tough knuckles.
456
00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:39,101
Whoa.
457
00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,234
Huh.
458
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:42,800
Well, that's good, then.
459
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,280
I don't have to pretend to be
460
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:46,804
mister water-drinking
nice guy anymore.
461
00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:48,806
That's what I've been
trying to tell you.
462
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:52,506
Yeah, well.
463
00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:54,464
Will you all excuse me?
464
00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:57,337
Where you going?
465
00:17:57,380 --> 00:18:00,818
I'm gonna get myself a beer.
[chuckles]
466
00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:03,560
So you're standing in a crypt
looking at a locked chest.
467
00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:04,909
What do you do?
468
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,650
DALE [calling out]:
Pull a beer out of it.
469
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:14,919
Get out of my way.
470
00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:18,271
I'm a thief,
and I'm opening this chest.
471
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:21,230
Have at it. I'm a paladin
with a buzz on.
472
00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:26,235
Success.
473
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,107
The chest opens,
revealing a scroll
474
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,326
with ancient writing
in a strange language
475
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,502
you don't recognize.
What do you do?
476
00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:34,461
I say this is boring...
477
00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:37,420
and turn myself into a Ninja
Turtle Princess of Power.
478
00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:41,424
♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles... ♪
479
00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:43,818
This game just got good.
480
00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:45,385
High five.Yeah.
481
00:18:45,428 --> 00:18:47,561
♪ Heroes in a half-shell,
turtle power. ♪
482
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:53,132
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
483
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:55,134
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
484
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:57,397
and TOYOTA.
485
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,442
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
486
00:18:59,492 --> 00:19:04,042
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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Can't find what you're looking for?
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