Original subtitles

A WAKAMATSU PRODUCTION FILM

Let go of such a delusion.

It's not a delusion. I'm serious.

They just ran away, that's all.

You want to run away too,

with the excuse that you're bored of your situation.

But what will you do once you have run away from yourself, and from me?

I don't believe you when you say you're bored with politics, with having fun, with sex.

It's true that I'm bored with everything.

I don't feel like doing anything any more.

So, in order to not do anything...

You don't love me any more, do you?

If so, you should just say it.

I...

I...

Do I want to die now...?

Ryoko!

Ryoko!

THE WOMAN WHO WANTED TO DIE

YUKIO MISHIMA COMMITS HARA-KIRI

AN ACT OF MADNESS OR AN ACT FROM THE HEART?

If I disembowel myself, will you decapitate me?

Forget about those people.

If you want to die, let's make a suicide pact.

A suicide pact wouldn't mean anything.

I'm going home after all.

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY KOJI WAKAMATSU

SCRIPT BY DERU DEGUCHI

CAMERA: HIDEO ITO LIGHTING: HAJIME ISOGAI

STARRING ERIKO SHIMA HIROSHI YAJIMA, TAKESHI SHIMA

I'm... Damn it... I'm... not just... not just a big baby.

I'm serious. I'm serious.

That's right. You are serious.

The more serious you become, the more you become a naive big baby.

It's your own fault.

Isn't it?

I'm no longer as good-natured as I used to be.

I'm getting married because I want to see myself as a mature adult.

You must be tired after today.

Yes... But it's not too bad.

I'm very grateful to you.

This marriage is the start of a new life for me.

I will take you as my wife, love you for ever, as my better half.

Yes.

I love you, from my heart.

I love you too.

Damn it...

As I had imagined... You are lovely.

You are a lovely woman.

My husband...

I'll never let you go.

I'm exhausted...

I want to...

exhaust you much more.

Please...

I can't take any more.

No.

I'm not letting you off.

You weren't a virgin.

That's right.

I'm a bad woman.

No, you're not.

It doesn't matter any more anyway.

But...

you know a lot about sex.

But...

I love you from my heart.

You...

are my wife.

I don't know what sort of men have been through you.

Nobody went through me.

Nobody.

Nobody went right through me.

I...

love you much, much more

than any of those men.

Ryoko.

Damn it!

What a state to be in just because you've been dumped by a women or two.

You're still young, aren't you?

Yes.

I'm young.

I'm still just 20.

So...

please don't use the phrase "been dumped".

I squandered my chance to die, you know.

You're being over the top!

All this talk of wanting to die or squandering your chance to die.

I'm not over the top!

It's the truth!

I... I squandered my chance to die.

I was with a woman...

I fell for her...

and... I squandered my chance to die.

What's funny?!

You sound like one of the 47 ronin who got left behind.

You're just like that samurai, what was his name?

That's right.

I am...

I am a samurai!

I see, you're copying that great writer who committed hara-kiri?

I don't have time for dramatics.

I just came because the maid was worried that you might kill yourself.

Wait!

Laughing at other people's sincere feelings, that is the problem with us Japanese.

You've taken the joke too far.

It's not a joke.

Please,

die with me.

Let go!

I understand now that you are serious.

I'm sorry I lost it.

But if you die for a woman now...

you will be dying as a copycat.

If you don't mind that,

then go and die with that woman.

Make a suicide pact!

Or can you, from your heart,

die with me?

OK, hand that over.

This scar...

is from a failed attempt to die.

The suicide pact went wrong.

I too...

want to die.

Morning.

Good morning.

Let's go for a walk around here today.

Yes.

There are a lot of things I would like to tell you.

Take me with you.

I was 17, he was 20.

At first I thought he must have had his heart broken or something, and I felt sorry for him.

Because he would just stay in his room and cry, day after day.

I was young, so I fell fast for a man like that.

Everyone tried to stop me but I wouldn't listen,

and I got close to him.

I dreamed of a love story

between the innkeeper's daughter and a heartbroken student.

I was completely infatuated.

But...

He intended to kill himself, to follow his lover who had died on Mount Tanigawa.

I...

actually thought that was OK.

I trusted this man with my young girl's heart that knew nothing,

and my body that knew nothing.

I was so happy.

You were happy, weren't you?

Yes.

I was so happy,

I said to the man, who had started to overcome his grief, that we should die now.

It was your idea?

Then he...

said that if we were to die now, he would be able to follow his lover,

as well as dying happy, because he had met me.

He said that while making love to me.

We decided to throw ourselves off here.

Now we can't be separated, OK?

No, I can't do it.

Let's not.

We must.

We must die.

I'll follow straight after you, OK?

He... He slashed me, but couldn't quite do it to himself.

He got scared and ran away.

When... I tried to stop him...

W... Wait!

Wait!

I can't...

I can't after all...

Wait!

Die... with... me...

Please...

Wait!

Wait!

Unbelievable...

He...

He... ran away!

NAKAYA INN

It doesn't matter.

He's not worth it.

Your woman ran away too, didn't she?

It's my fault too, for failing to die.

Don't think about it any more.

- But... - What? You were dumped, remember?

We haven't come to a conclusion yet.

And we haven't experienced death.

You're as good as dead.

Landlady...

I didn't know...

he was going around as if nothing had happened.

And he was with such a pretty girl.

Don't talk like that!

She...

looked just like me when I was young.

It's fine like this.

"Like this"?

This is the way to live on, for one who failed to die.

"The way to live on"?

No...

I can't, after all.

I can't...

I'll get it.

Can I help you?

We're in the middle of dinner.

Please come back later.

I want you to come with me.

As I said, we can talk after dinner.

You fool!

You...

This has nothing to do with you, stay out of it.

I've come to settle things with Ryoko.

Ryoko?

She is my wife.

So if you have something to say, say it to me.

I don't want a third party to get involved.

I want to talk to her alone.

She says she doesn't want to.

Is that true?

Are you a friend of hers?

What's your name?

I'm Ichiro Yoko.

I know that!

I also know you botched your suicide pact with the landlady at Nakaya Inn.

Ryoko,

now I more or less understand why

you got together with a man like this.

So please, listen to what I have to say.

I've been thinking about my own way of dying.

That's enough!

I've already told you, this has nothing to do with you!

Stay away from me!

Please, just leave me alone.

He's unbelievable!

There's nothing to worry about any more.

If he comes back again, I'll chase him out.

Hold me!

Please, hold me!

Your own actions

can return you to your raw self...

Brave men carrying swords

rattling in their sheaths

have endured for many years

until today's first frost

Damn it...

What am I to do?

I have been bearing it for ten years.

But what have I been bearing?

Maybe I should just...

This sword-scar...

This old face...

Because I survived...

I have ended up meeting him again.

Landlady!

You have a visitor.

Who is it?

You have become a fine man.

Congratulations on your marriage.

It's been a while.

I didn't expect...

to ever be able to see you again.

Please don't say any more.

It's just that...

I didn't know that you were alive until today.

I do apologize.

It's certainly not as if I survived because I wanted to.

But I couldn't quite die.

Plus...

Back then, you were a young man with a bright future ahead of you.

So I thought it was best if you didn't hear from your partner in a botched suicide pact.

Please, stop your sarcasm.

I wanted to tell you how I have been living since then.

You were investigated by the police after that...

and you must have heard that I had survived.

Why lie, all these years later?

Please forgive me.

It was all because I was weak.

I...

have been cursing you.

It's been hard for me too. Ever since that day...

I've been so troubled, I've hardly been alive.

At least

I haven't pretended to live as if I had already died.

The fact that I got married

and the fact that I chose this place for our honeymoon...

it's all because

subconsciously I have been thinking about what it might have been like

if we hadn't had the suicide pact, if we had stayed together and carried on.

Please...

don't say any more...

Natsu...

Natsu,

I'm happy that we met again.

It's been...

ten whole years.

Yes.

Ten years.

It's...

too late now, isn't it?

Yes, it's too late now.

While the world and its people

hesitate to fall

a night tempest goes before them saying,

"To fall is the essence of blossom"

Brave men carrying swords

rattling in their sheaths

have endured for many years

until today's first frost

I feel the same every time I think it over.

We are both losers who failed to die.

It's not too late.

If you miss the chance, there won't be another one. It's no use chasing after it.

We can't try again?

I heard the story about my husband and the landlady.

Once spilt, water cannot be returned.

I want to run like water too, and run on and on for ever.

You are the big baby.

Do you think you helped us all get into this state or something?

That's right.

I set everybody on this journey,

saying, "Be sure to die".

Don't make me laugh!

I stayed with you.

The others just ran away.

The hara-kiri drama is fashionable right now

so your words are meaningless.

It's ridiculous.

Whatever I choose to believe,

that's up to me, isn't it?

You and I both ran away, didn't we?

But neither of us could do anything.

Come.

Why?

Just come with me.

Let's try again.

Could we do it?

In any case, it was worth starting from square one

and coming to see you.

I don't have the confidence to attempt to die again.

Don't be stupid.

We're not going to die.

We're going to try to live again.

I want to die.

No matter what?

Yes.

Even though I was always lost in play,

even though I didn't do much in this world,

once my mind is sparked

I want blood,

I feel murderous,

I seek death.

While the world and its people

hesitate to fall

a night tempest goes before them saying, "To fall is the essence of blossom"

Their madness was real.

Because...

spitting out their words while their own blood spilled,

they tried to prove something through their own deaths.

When I look at this blade

there's definitely something that's compelling.

I don't know...

I don't know what it is.

I think I could die right now.

Will you die with me?

Yes, I will.

Then why did you marry that man?

Throwing me away?

I don't know why, but...

I was sick of my insipid self

and everything seemed ludicrous.

Say the reason why you're going to die.

I don't have one in particular.

Anyway, we don't need a reason to die, do we?

Damn...

Stop it!

I also don't have any reason whatsoever to die right now!

Please, stop!

What are you playing at?

I am truly sorry, but...

we have decided to give it another try.

It feels good to swim against the flow.

Maybe it's thanks to you two.

Thank you.

You're going to do it, once and for all?

Yes.

I feel like a weight has lifted off me, my troubled feelings are sorted out.

When you say "sorted out",

do you mean your reason to die?

You're going to try again?

Then...

No.

We wouldn't call it trying again.

Ten years ago, we failed in our double suicide.

We survived

until today.

For me, to live was to live every single day struggling against death.

That's right.

For the past ten years

the guilt, and the horrible feeling, of having failed to die

made us living corpses.

We kept telling ourselves that there must be some reason to live

and just continued to bear it.

I married you...

and as I continued to bear those feelings

I tried to somehow get back my true self of flesh and blood.

That's why I came here.

What do you mean by your self of flesh and blood?

That's right, my raw self.

My self that was bearing all those feelings was my self that had died.

However much I lied to myself

that was the one truth I could not evade.

That's why we want to die.

That's right.

It was in the words: "I want to die".

We only want to live as our raw selves.

That's just selfish!

Damn you, you've lost your reasons for wanting to die.

That just means you continue where you left off ten years ago.

It's perverse to commit double suicide now.

What do you intend to prove by dying?

No, it's not for anyone else.

It's not for anything else.

We want to die for ourselves.

My self that is holding you like this is, after all, my self that failed to die.

And this is my self that failed to die.

Why don't you just kill yourselves, then?

I'll assist you.

He's right.

I... I can't die but...

if you two can really do it,

I'll be witness to it, and then I will die too.

No.

I don't have such a wild delusion.

I just want peace in the little time that is left.

The few breaths that I have left to breathe are heading towards my death.

I'll put this through you.

Don't.

You can't live on as a mere assistant to our deaths.

That's not true.

I have killed people like this before, and continued to live!

That's a lie.

I can well understand why you would lie.

The truth is you just want to die, too.

But you can't quite do it, so you talk this nonsense about helping others.

Shut up!

I've given up that sort of pretence.

Fine. Kill yourselves then.

Kill yourselves in front of me.

We came to see you because that is our intention.

We came to see you because we wanted to know how selfish our selfishness was.

We really want you to be witness to our deaths.

We have arranged everything so that there will be no problems for you afterwards.

We are counting on you.

Please do this for us.

THE HORROR OF MISHIMA'S "BEAUTIFUL DESTRUCTION"

HE CUT STRAIGHT ACROSS HIS ABDOMEN

OK.

That was kind of easy.

Yeah.

But I don't think I could kill myself after all.

Right.

They had a reason to die from ten years ago, after all.

It was us who reminded them of that.

NEWS FLASH: YUKIO MISHIMA COMMITS HARA-KIRI

AN ACT OF MADNESS OR AN ACT FROM THE HEART? A 90-MINUTE DRAMA

YUKIO MISHIMA'S "MADNESS" AND AESTHETICS