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Oh, Jesus!

Ugh!

John, it's me!

This is bullshit, motherfucker!

John, come on! Answer the door!

I've got your box.

Oh my God!

Wow! Smells great in here!

Jeez! When was the last time you opened a window?

John, where are you? I don't have a lot of time.

It's dark in here.

Did you ask for the place that Sid Vicious died in?

John?

John, are you even here?

- What did the letter say? - Honey, I don't know.

What do you mean, you don't know?

You said you returned it to the front desk.

- I didn't say I didn't know. - You just did.

You said: "Honey, I don't know."

Rupert, the letter wasn't for you.

It was the front desk's mistake.

And sending it back down without showing it to me

was just irrepressible?

Rupert, enough!

Mom, it's the first chance I get to meet him

after all those years.

Honey, I know, but you have a big day.

- You opened the letter. - Yes.

Then you realized it wasn't for me...

Yes, and I already apologized.

- ...and just sent it back down? - Yes.

Well, the front desk couldn't have sent up

a letter that wasn't for me

if they didn't have a letter that was

in the first place.

It's pretty clear they sent my letter to the wrong person.

So there's a letter waiting for me at the hotel.

Yes. Yes, probably.

All right, get yourself something else to eat...

...whatever you want,

and I will call them right away.

Look, we will go to the hotel,

and I'm sure there'll be a letter waiting for you,

and you'll probably meet later this afternoon.

Was it written in green ink?

What?

Was it written in green ink?

I... I don't remember.

Honey, everything's gonna be all right, OK?

We have shocking breaking news

just now at 2:31.

We have word that TV idol John Francis Donovan has died

at the age of 29.

The actor gained prominence

in the American television industry,

first as Hellsome High's Adam White on the WV...

The thing I've forgotten to work on is myself.

This is ridiculous!

No reception. What fucking year is this?

Oh, fuck's sake!

Hal, it's me. You can't do this.

I'm on a flight to London at 2:30.

Well, my appointment in Paris got pushed, didn't it?

I got your email this morning,

and I couldn't respond because my router's screwed, OK?

Just listen to me.

So, I've come here to greet him in person,

because I'm a civilized woman, all right?

But I'm not writing the piece. You can't make me do it.

I don't care!

Just hire another journalist, postpone the interview.

Robert fucking Turner's not going anywhere, is he?

I don't give a shit about getting his name right,

because I'm not doing it.

I haven't even read his stupid book.

How am I supposed to conduct an interview with someone

if I haven't read...

What, and I'm gonna write about some actor du jour

who's unearthed whatever story because he's craving momentum?

I've got standards, you know?

Fine! OK?

Yep, I don't wanna talk to you anymore.

I'll do it. Mm-hmm, one hour.

And if that little squirt gives me one iota of sass,

I swear to God...

Yep! Fine, Hal!

Bye! Goodbye!

Can you believe they still use these old pay phones

here in 2017?

I can see a coherence with the rest of Eastern Europe.

Production pays for some shitty mobile

while we're shooting here,

but it keeps shutting down.

I'll just, uh, just use the phone.

I'll be with you in a minute so we can start the interview.

I'm so excited.

I'll just, uh, just be in there...

OK!

...while you make your call.

September 2017, "Turner publishes memoir

"composed of his entire correspondence with Donovan.

"Donovan died of an overdose."

Hmm!

No, please don't rush. Take your time.

My, do they feed you at The Times?

Asking out of sheer curiosity, really.

Please don't think me sassy.

"The sassy actor stormed into the Art Nouveau decorated café,

"his hair disheveled, sporting a faded army jacket."

I'm feeling this!

I forgot they allowed you to smoke in here.

Oh, but just for a few more months, unfortunately.

So, what did you think of the book?

As you're well aware, I haven't read your book,

as I wasn't supposed to be conducting this interview.

As we're both here now, let's get started

so that maybe I can catch my flight.

When they emailed me yesterday afternoon that

it'd be you doing the piece,

I read some of your articles.

Yesterday afternoon?

You're quite versatile

for a political reporter.

You contributed to this

environmental- apocalypse piece I read.

The one about the, uh, what is it? West Coast...

- The Juan de Fuca subduction zone. - Yeah!

A 9.2 magnitude earthquake will ravage the West Coast?

When is this supposed to be happening, already?

We're half a century late for it.

Could be now, could be 10-20 years,

by which time we still wouldn't have started this interview.

Oh, you're not recording?

And you want anything?

Double espresso, please.

She spoke in foreign tongues,

and from then on, he was enslaved.

Oh, I was anxious you'd never get

to the use of the 3rd person.

Now, I'd very much like it if we could begin now

so that I can maybe catch my flight.

Uh-huh, well, if you miss it,

I'm pretty sure that thing can fly you to London.

Do you want me to write this piece or not, Mr. Turner?

Yeah? Good.

I think everyone remembers the scandal,

how the letters were revealed, et cetera, et cetera...

Why don't you back up all the way

to how things started with you and John F. Donovan?

Well, we know how they started.

He answered one of your fan letters.

Yeah.

And then an unlikely correspondence began.

- Mm-hmm. - That's the fairy tale.

Why don't you rewind to...

When the fairy tale ended?

If you like.

The year would be 2006.

I had turned 11 that summer.

I, uh...

No, I can still smell the gas-like odor

of the felt-tip pen he used.

I can still hear the pen

scratching on the sheets of paper.

We'd always handwrite every letter, never typed or emailed.

For John, things started to go wrong

when they were starting to be great.

Everybody was starting to pay attention

to the new kid on the block,

saying that he was about to become the next big deal.

But to us, who had been following him since day one,

it was very clear that he already was.

He really was.

Yes! Yes!

Great, John! We got it.

Thanks!

No, just send me a synopsis of this conversation.

You were great, hon.

We'll get photo approval, right, Barb?

Yeah, and you're gettin' a pony for Christmas.

What does that mean?

It's Vanity Fair, John!

Pretend it's wonderful and stop being such a big bitch.

- Rhonda! - Yes, darling! I'm here!

Hay stacks were genius.

- Thanks, doll! - Thank you, Barbara.

Why'd they make me so oily?

Trust me, it's working.

That whole slutty mineworker look is huge

in the Midwest.

So, Prada shipped the suit to the office,

and Mel delivered it to your place.

Miuccia says "break a leg" and then some Italian shit

that I didn't understand.

John! The season finale was dope, man!

The hidden cameras, that was the shit!

Thanks, man. That's sweet of you.

Is it true you're playing Jack Harvest?

He's my favorite superhero ever!

Fingers crossed, but I don't know for sure.

John, I love you so much!

She thinks you're so cute.

John! John!

Sorry, that's all for today.

I love you!

I'm having lunch with Chris next week.

He knows you're George's choice for Jack Harvest.

It's looking good, hon!

It's not just about me, John.

It would've meant the world to Larry if you'd been there.

- You owe him. - I was out of town!

- As grateful as I am to Larry, I can't clone myself. - Thank God!

If you could, you'd never take your dick out of your own mouth.

Thank you for that image.

Don't pretend like you haven't thought about it before.

John, tonight's the season premier of Hellsome High,

Any hint on whether Adam's parents

will accept him for who he is?

I can't spoil it for everyone.

Amy, you are glowing with fuego! Who?

Giambattista Valli.

- Ooh, is that vintage? - It is now!

I'm the luckiest guy in the world.

Rupert!

Rupert?

- Rupert! - Sorry.

I'm looking forward to reading your notes from today's class.

I'm assuming it'll be comprehensive.

He was "gaydreaming" again!

Your preoccupation with your classmates' sexuality

is becoming alarmingly obsessive!

Stop laughing!

You must include 3 enumerations

and 4 figures of speech from the list I provided last Tuesday.

And may I...

Everybody, I'd like to remind you that next week,

your presentations are due on Monday.

And don't forget, the object you bring in

must have emotional significance to you in real life.

Don't tell me about your weekend at Hogwarts!

School had always been a refuge as a kid.

But I got older

and was introduced to the meanness of guys.

Well, boys.

To survive the jungle, you had to become an animal.

But for me, it was easier

to just sink into my own head and TV.

Hmm!

Another occidental tale of survival from bullying. Bingo!

Well, no, but for years, all I cared about was John

and that TV show in which he starred,

and around which my whole world revolved back then.

Have you ever confided this obsession in anyone else before?

Uh, what sort of interlocutor are we talking about here?

I don't know, professional?

I haven't seen... What's the name of the show?

Anyway, just carry on.

What's your name again?

Sorry?

I, uh, I can't remember your name.

Audrey. Audrey Newhouse.

Yes. Yes, sorry.

Uh, that's...

just not a common name, Audrey.

You seem to think I'm here to talk about some icon

or an extremely honorable body of work

or to promote some cultural happening.

But I came here thinking we'd talk about influence

and identity and, you know, TV.

So, if you're looking for contrived notions

and dumb quotes on the biz to mock me,

you'll be disappointed.

This isn't about business, OK? This is not about art.

This... this is about a man saving a child's life.

So, I don't care that John was untalented.

I don't care that what he did was ridiculous

or that what he did was shit.

I don't care that his story, in this time and age,

sounds abysmal to you.

I know I'm not rebuilding Aleppo, OK?

We're on the same boat.

And that coffee's decaf, Audrey.

OK, moving on.

Honey, I couldn't watch you suffer anymore.

I had to understand.

Mom, I'm 17.

Or 30.

Adam, just tell me none of it was true.

None of it was true...

- What did I miss? - Calm down!

I don't wanna miss any more lines!

Shoes on the carpet! OK, the mother knows.

She saw him using his hidden powers. She taped him.

You could say hi.

What? Hi! Mrs. White knows?

Of course! The hidden cameras in the season finale!

Aaah!

Oh my God! Did you see what he just did?

He used his powers in front of her!

Look! Look at the keys! Look at the keys!

The CGI is amazing! Look at that!

Rupert, you have a package. I think it's a poster.

I left it on your bed.

OK!

Honey, what are you?

It's just like you said, Mom.

I'm different.

The opening credits are coming! They're here!

Oh my God!

That's a new power! That is a new power!

Oh my God, this is amazing! This is freaking amazing!

Rupert, voice!

Keep it down. The neighbors.

Oh my God! Oh my God! Holy cow!

Shhh!

I'm so happy right now!

Mom, are you even paying attention?

Come on, this is Hellsome High!

I was born for this moment! I came out of you just for this!

Keep it down.

- YES! - Keep it down.

Yes! This is great!

That's the best power!

Thank you, God! Thank you for Hellsome High!

Thank you! I was born for this!

I've been waiting for this moment all my life!

My father had left when I was 2,

and since then, it had always been my mom and me.

Leaving America had sort of

precipitated an unabashed coming of age.

My mom and I, we were barely speaking anymore.

Now that we had moved,

I was basically spending all of my time in my room.

The kids at school were mocking me

for either being the new guy, the child actor and...

Yes!

...in my own perspective, all my dreams had disappeared.

The only one that had survived was...

John.

I'm not gonna lie to you.

It's been hard, of course.

He doesn't have a British accent or the energy at all.

So we gotta look for projects

trying to cast an American kid living here

or other very specific roles.

And I won't pretend it's made the move easier for him,

but, hmm, he'll... he'll find his place.

Mm-hmm.

I'd left a lot behind, moving to England,

but the letters had followed.

The same night I saw that pilot of the show he starred in,

I wrote John a letter.

And to my great surprise, he...

He answered!

Yeah!

And what started as a one-off carried on for years.

Until his death, actually.

"Style is knowing who you are."

Hold on a minute.

And your mother had no idea?

How could that escape her notice?

I mean, she never saw any of those letters in the mail?

I think a great deal of things went unnoticed by my mom

back at the time.

I mean, she was... she was overwhelmed.

She was never home,

and, well, I was in charge of the mail, anyway.

So you intercepted them?

I did.

Why? Weren't you proud?

I was, but more than proud, I was scared,

scared that this very special thing,

that it'd be taken away from me.

It was the only connection I had with the life I dreamed of,

so I protected it,

until I thought the day I'd leave that place,

become an actor...

work with John.

I knew there was a whole world out there

and that in it, John lived his life...

...far, far away from mine.

Amy and John grew up together.

They'd always been friends.

Amy was moving to New York

to become an actress like she'd always dreamed,

and he tagged along.

They were surprised at how people took for granted

they were together since day one,

and they went on with it.

One thing led to another...

...for John, mostly.

He kept mentioning the loneliness.

I knew it meant

there was some company he couldn't afford having.

What do you mean by "company he couldn't afford"?

Well, in a life like this, in, like, his,

everything and everyone in it becomes a risk.

Hmm...

Yeah, the attention that you craved,

it becomes the scrutiny that you're trying to escape.

John often slept in hotel rooms.

I asked him in one of the early letters why,

and he said it was because it made him feel less lonely,

which seemed bizarre, a hotel room being by definition lonely.

He later replied that the feeling was, uh, alleviated

by the fact that most of the people in all the other rooms

were alone at the same time he was.

I mean, it's pretty big

for New York City,

and, uh, you know, it's modest.

It's kind of a piece of shit,

but it's been home for a little bit now, so...

It's not too... too expensive, either.

When Amy and I first moved into the city,

we lived in Queens off Flushing.

A total shithole.

We couldn't afford electricity for the first couple of months,

so we had to light the whole place with candles.

- Shit! - Yeah.

One of the neighbors kept complaining

that they smelled... they smelled smoke.

When the firemen showed up,

I think they thought we were sacrificing virgins.

We've never been into virgins.

Um, are you working tomorrow?

Are you shooting something right now?

Uh, no. No, I'm not working right now.

I got a 7:00 a.m. call on Hellsome,

a crazy day full of stunts.

Oh. Yeah.

Um, yeah.

Oh, I'll just... I'll just have another beer...

...and then I'll be on my way.

I gotta start studying anyway.

I have this audition on Wednesday...

...I actually auditioned for Hellsome.

I can't.

You can't?

Um, uh...

Uh, I've got an early start tomorrow.

Oh, you... Uh, yeah, I...

Dude, you should get some rest, anyway.

You got... 7:00 a.m.? That's early.

Yeah, sorry.

It's OK. I'll... I'll just let myself out.

Um, thanks for the beer.

And you know all this from the letters?

Not all of it.

John never put me, as a child, in a position

where I'd read things I wouldn't understand.

He would rarely mention his private life,

not to me, not to anyone.

There were just rules, he said,

if they were broken, that would destroy him.

♪♪ I'm the son of rage and love ♪

♪ The Jesus of suburbia ♪

♪ The bible of none of the above ♪

♪ On a steady diet of ♪

♪ Soda pop and Ritalin ♪

♪ No one ever died for their sins in hell ♪

♪ As far I can tell ♪

Mom, you up early or you're up late?

She'll be here Friday if your schedule changes.

And I'm making my Ina Garten Beef Bourguignon.

Your favorite!

- It's so not! - Excuse me, since when...

Number 2, please. I don't hate it.

...is Beef Bourguignon not your favorite meal, Jonathan?

Since you stopped listening to people, Ma.

And please, please don't call me Jonathan.

I'll make something else, and just for you.

Fine. I'm happy with the beef.

And what is wrong with "Jonathan"?

Anyway, I can make something else, honey.

I'm fine with the beef.

Let's go. Let's see it.

Stop fucking around!

You didn't drive 87 miles in the middle of the night

for the pleasure of my company.

His name's Will.

- Is that what it is? - Will Jefford Jr.

We met last summer, hung out a couple of times.

OK.

I don't know, I... I like him.

Mm-hmm?

He's cute.

What? What, am I supposed to say "hot"?

Why, that's a hot guy.

Don't see guys that hot every day.

Oh, shut the fuck up!

So, what's his deal?

There is no deal.

How many more times are you gonna come over here,

showing me pics with that dreamy smile on your face like...

I haven't got a dreamy smile.

Yes, you do. You go like this...

What about Amy?

She's used to it.

Oh, she's used to it. Still going with that?

We are. We're...

- We're used to it, James. - Yeah.

- We're OK. - OK.

John...

You guys still don't understand.

- Don't! - Fuck off!

Jim! Jimmy! Bitch-ass motherfucker!

Hey, fuck off! You know how this ends.

What's the problem?

Will Jefford Jr...

Wow!

This guy is gonna die at least 4 minutes after me.

Shut up!

Look at all the seconds he's collecting contracting words.

That is really something. You're impressed by this?

He's really smart.

Oh, is he?

There you go, my prince.

"You" of course spelled with a "U"

since we're contracting.

John had been going to his brother's house

for their garage ritual for years.

Yep!

Jimmy told me that.

I think it was one of the only things in his life

that actually made John...

happy.

- Good morning! - Good morning! How are you?

Guys, this guy here, this is Will.

Although we never wrote it in the letters,

John and I had reached a point of no return in our lives.

I think inviting Will into his world was John's own way

of unconsciously sabotaging

pretty much everything he had built.

Of course, he didn't know that then.

And you?

And... Sorry, what?

And you?

You said John and yourself were in...

that you'd reached points of no return.

Hmm...

I'm curious to know what that was

for a 10-year-old boy.

- Well, it can be many things. - Mm-hmm?

But that isn't the point.

Then what is the point, please, Mr. Turner?

The point is a lot of children are told

that they or their dreams don't exist or matter

simply because they're young.

And you know what?

Most children will believe you if you tell them that.

They kept telling me again and again.

But I decided not to believe them.

Hello, little girl.

Rupert! What are you still doing out here?

My mom's late.

What happened to your face?

I fell.

Oh, I see.

"I can't let you on the boat

"without your parents, young man!

"There's another boat that leaves for America in 3 days."

So cruel!

God, I love it!

There, take some.

You're good.

Please, I'm terrible.

Carry on!

"Please, sir,

"I know you're not supposed to let people on without a ticket."

"I most certainly am not!"

Oh, sorry, I dropped it.

No, it's all right.

Is this a friendship necklace?

I used to have one of these.

No, certainly not friendship. My mom has the same one.

I got the first letter of her name.

She's got the first letter of mine.

Oh, how beautiful!

Yeah.

Party's over, I guess.

Where were you? I was worried sick!

You were late, so Miss Kureshi drove me.

It's no trouble. I stayed late for some marking myself, so...

Thanks, Miss Kureshi.

- What happened to your face? - I fell.

Go inside. I'll take care of you in a second.

It's my turn to get a scolding, Rupert!

No, not at all.

It's no trouble dropping him. I don't live very far away.

You know, I teach Rupert English in the afternoon, so...

I know who you are, Miss Kureshi.

Well, thank you so much for looking after Rupert.

I want names, Rupert. Who did this to you?

You know, a little less eye-rolling would be nice.

You don't even know what happened!

I can see what happened. I'm not blind.

What difference does it make?

Well, you know what,

if you tell me who these kids are,

I can give their parents a phone call.

Mom, that's pathetic! This isn't anything new.

I'm small, I'm new, I act.

A taller dude who's got 3 girlfriends

and is on the soccer team

bullies me.

I marvel at the originality.

And Miss Kureshi says ignoring people is our strongest weapon,

by the way.

Miss Kureshi should write a book.

Miss Kureshi does what she loves in life

and is a perfectly reliable adult.

Well, Rupert, if I'm not cool enough to help you,

help yourself, OK?

If you're scared of something, you gotta stand up and face it.

Alan Parrish's dad said that to him,

and then he got swallowed up into Jumanji.

Well, then, you're next!

What would you know about standing and facing things?

You're the first one to run away!

That's what you did with Dad,

and that's what you did with acting!

And that stuff you put on my lips tastes like piss!

Brat!

Oh!

Look at you! Am I being served?

Just kidding!

Sorry we're late.

Oh, what a nice surprise!

I didn't think you guys would make it!

Faith, come up!

Amy and I were supposed to go to that thing,

but it got canceled.

Ma, I don't like it on the neck!

I can't help it. You smell so good!

That Swiss Army!

Oh, Amy, feels like it's been forever!

I stopped wearing Swiss Army. You know that.

- No! When? - When I finished puberty.

Oh, shut up and give me another hug!

I already gave you a hug, Ma!

I know, but I'm not counting. Come here, you!

Oh, you smell so good too! You both smell so good!

What's your perfume tonight, Ma?

Oh! L'Air du Temps.

Did you bring me some from Canal Street?

I told you all those perfumes spoiled.

Oh, who cares? Nobody can tell.

- Whoo! - There's my favorite aunt!

Holy Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

- Shit! - Are these ghosts?

Are you Adam White?

Now, you're not gonna cast a spell on me, are ya?

No!

Hey! Oh!

Be careful!

He doesn't like too much hugging or touching!

- Good to see you, Anne. - Oh, you too, honey!

Oh, you smell so good!

Thank you.

Oh God, Amy! Look at that coat!

Dressed for success!

Oh! Grace, I thought you said they couldn't make it.

Bet he did it on purpose! "Look at me, look at me!" Huh?

But then when was he ever on time for anything?

Story of his life and his dad's!

- Oh, wonderful! - I'm gonna open this wine!

Looking so fancy-shmancy...

And so it begins.

Fee, fi, fo, fum,

I smell the blood of a Beef Bourguignon!

- Oh! - Whoo!

Back by popular demand,

my Ina Garten Beef Bourguignon...

à la Grace.

John's not having any

because it's not fancy enough for him anymore.

But you guys should all just help yourself,

and I'm gonna go back and get the potato gratin.

I'm heating something up for you, honey.

Ma, I told you not to make anything special.

Don't worry, it's not special.

It was just gonna be some Bolognese

and some broccoli and bacon.

You know, like what you used to have when you played hockey.

Oh, Faith?

Would you please tell me, though, if it needs more salt,

because, you know, I don't salt.

John, I drove by State College's arena

a couple weeks ago.

I was just wondering, you know,

do you ever think about hockey, any regrets?

Excellent question. Let's get to the bottom of this.

Do you regret the life that's brought you fortune and fame? You gotta, right?

You could have a concussion right now! Think about it!

Pat, you heard the story 100 times. He got hurt.

You were a great hockey player.

You're naturally athletic.

I didn't say anything, Ma!

- Faith? - Uh, it needs salt.

- Ugh! - But just a little bit.

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!

Oh, do we need wine? A little bit more?

We're good? No, I'll get some. I'll get some.

So, John, what's the big news?

You're ruining the timing for the sauce, Johnny.

Well, now, nothing's official, so I...

He's gonna be Jack Harvest.

Jimmy, what the hell?

Who cares? Who cares?

The universe cares, man! I said I didn't wanna jinx it.

So, then, don't jinx it. You're a fucking stud!

This Jack Harvest, who is he?

I bet he's some sort of famous Democrat

that they're making a bio-documentary on!

Pat, Jack Harvest is a comic-book character,

a sort of superhero.

Oh, I see!

Oh, John, that's so good!

These kinds of movies are popular right now, aren't they?

But it won't last, will it?

Is everything going well so far?

Nothing's going anywhere for now. I'm not cast yet.

- Director loves you. It's done. - The director chose me.

The studio is most likely gonna approve me too.

- We're just waiting on some... - The universe! Fuck yeah!

...negotiations, but nothing's sure.

You got it, man. It's done. It's yours.

I screwed up the sauce. It's too runny. But it's good.

Bon appétit!

Oh, but Don doesn't know

that Sissy's secret lover is hiding in the closet!

So, he comes home early,

all, you know, pumped up to go on their ski trip.

And he goes to the closet, and he opens the door

to get his ski stuff out and go skiing!

Oh, Sissy said she still remembers the look on his face.

The boyfriend just slalomed right out of there, of course!

Oh, God, Faith!

That reminds me of when

you caught that son-of-a-bitch husband of yours

when he was in the cabin with what's-her-name!

Oh God, I never trusted him,

but that was a real hell of a "I told you so"!

Oh God!

I think I need a glass of water.

That's a good idea.

Ma, why don't we hop off Jimmy

and help Auntie Faith get everybody a glass of water?

Oh, Jonathan, don't patronize me now.

I am absolutely not patronizing you, Grace.

Yes, you are!

Anyone, water?

Water? What are we, at church?

Anne, water?

Yes, please!

Maybe no one else wants a drink, Ma.

Yeah, I think we've all had enough.

We're all grown-ups here.

OK, so, um,

everybody wants whiskey except for Anne and John.

Boo! And Amy.

Oops! Boo!

Uh, anyway, you probably shouldn't.

Because of your medication.

Oh!

Clever!

- Let's call it a night, Grace. - Why?

There's still whiskey to drink, Jimmy!

Thanks for having my back!

Hey, fuck you!

Wow!

I know! Why don't you guys spend the night?

'Cause I have cinnamon rolls in the freezer for tomorrow!

I think we're gonna hit the road.

Oh!

Oh, is this a hotel night?

You know, Patty,

John loves to go to a hotel sometimes.

I thought you guys just moved into a new billion-dollar place.

Well, they have, but, you know,

sometimes he needs some peace.

Peace? For what?

Mm-hmm!

Oh! Careful, Amy!

Yeah, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Enough, Ma! Enough!

Gracie, I'm gonna get going.

Can you pay attention to people, Ma?

Your sister? Jimmy?

Me? Anything but that fucking bottle!

I'm not a child!

All I ever do is pay attention to you!

And everybody else likes my Beef Bourguignon!

Everybody else likes my coffee!

So why don't you stop being such a snob and just sit down!

You're embarrassing yourself, Ma.

OK, easy. Just relax there, Brad Pitt!

Shut the fuck up!

- You watch your fucking mouth! - Stop!

Jesus Christ! Where did you learn to speak to your elders?

You don't get to tell me to shut the fuck up!

And you don't get to talk to your mother that way.

When I think of what you put her through,

the medications, the bills,

the doctors, the shrinks, the scuffles at school...

You and your goddamn hockey,

and that piece of shit you call a father!

SHUT UP!

I've never been one

to really believe in synchronicity

or destiny or horoscope or anything like that.

No?

But, uh, that night, something in the universe,

yeah, must have just gone...

ka-ching!

What exactly are you implying with that sound you made?

That this sort of synchronicity

isn't just a coincidence.

I actually knew nothing of John's life,

and could never have guessed

that the mistakes we were both about to make

would so dramatically coincide.

Hey!

That's the guy from the fucking show!

Oh! Oh my gosh!

Latte?

Um, my heart might explode.

I promise it won't.

Thanks.

So, you don't remember me, do you?

From before we met last summer, before we hung out.

Before.

I... I'm from, uh, Pleasant Gap.

That's near University Park.

No way!

You studied there, right?

You were playing for the Badgers, the Raging Badgers.

Yeah.

Well, I've been, you know, following all your exploits,

and I read up about you in the newspaper, and...

until you blew up, and then I, uh...

Actually, you kind of...

You kind of inspired me to become an actor.

I broke up with my boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend now.

That was pretty bad. But, yeah...

I never ever thought I'd see you again.

It's funny.

Yeah, it's funny.

Why didn't you tell me?

I... I don't know. I thought...

I don't know.

Uh, you wouldn't remember me,

or you wouldn't want me to remember you or...

I don't know.

How's your mom?

I remember she used to come watch you play.

She had a really, really loud laugh.

It was... it was fun!

Yeah, she's fine.

And your brother, Jimmy, right?

Jimmy?

Yeah, I... I...

I can't... I can't do this.

Look, Will...

You're nice, but I...

I mean, you're really nice, but I...

I can't.

This is... This is...

This is wrong.

This is trouble. This is, uh...

I can't afford this.

God!

You're so sweet.

You too.

I mean, you're nice, but...

Thanks for the coffee.

I didn't really understand John's rules then.

- But I think I do now. - Mm-hmm?

How can someone live a constant, permanent lie?

I mean, you have to escape!

There is a moment when the mask...

cracks, right?

I'm sorry, Mr. Turner.

I'm just back from Islamabad. I go to Nigeria next week.

This whole conversation just seems out of this wor...

out of my world.

This must be hard to bear, right?

It is! Yes, it is! It is!

I just... How do I put this diplomatically?

With all due respect, honestly,

as much as I would love to commiserate

with Mr. Donovan's problems, it's...

To me, they're just mishaps from the First World.

You know what I mean?

What are you doing in Prague?

Well, I... I live between here and London.

Oh no, sorry, I meant your real home.

Aren't you from the Congo, the DRC, originally?

I thought I read that last night.

It's hard to know who the interviewer is

with you, Mr. Turner.

Yeah, I was born in Bukavu.

We're digressing. I'm trying...

No, I think we're cutting the bullshit.

Do you feel like you and I come from different planets?

'Cause we don't.

Sorry, why would you be fighting for truth

and I for, uh, for shit?

We're taking this just a little bit personally.

No, you think stories don't travel?

Some kid telling a story.

But you're not a kid anymore,

and you keep referring to yourself as one.

So stop treating me like a fucking child!

This is a story about intolerance.

This is a story about how a business has been so scared

to lose a public it claims illiterate and small-minded,

that it's basically kept it illiterate and small-minded

for decades!

This is about us...

as a society,

what we want, what we seek!

What in there sounds too unreal or unworthy to you?

OK, I didn't mean to upset you.

No, you're putting your life in peril for truth,

and we're strutting around in our First World problems.

God, that notion of privilege

and what people can say or cannot say

if they haven't gone through enough shit in life

to be able to commiserate,

it's a fucking disease!

That's where I come from.

Here.

You and I want the same thing:

Change, impact on the fears of people,

ignorance, bigotry,

sexism, racism, homophobia, name it!

What, did you think you had the monopoly on those battles?

Where were we?

Hey!

I said: "Where were we?

So...

Well, Rupert? We are all ears.

I started to do research on John F. Donovan

about 5 years ago.

When I discovered that we both have many things in common,

like the fact that we both have complicated relationships

with our fathers

and dreamed of acting since a very young age,

I wrote a letter to him.

It was rather foolish of me to think he would answer,

but he did.

Because you're both gay boys.

Cedric, warning number two.

He did, and that is the object I've chosen to talk about.

For almost 6 years now,

John F. Donovan and I have been writing to each other

about once or twice a month.

He tells me everything about his movie shoots

and the art of cinema,

as well as the complexities of it.

He tells me about his premieres, press junkets...

a junket is a press conference with a lot of journalists...

the way he met his wife, Amy,

and how hard it's been with his mother

and how she's reacted to his career.

But that was before he became real famous.

He never stopped writing ever since.

Now, I'm only 11 years old,

but, later, I'll be like him,

and we'll act in movies together.

John, but I like to call him "J,"

often quotes Gore Vidal, an author, critic and essayist.

Who cares?

"Style is knowing who you are."

Well, John F. Donovan knows exactly who he is,

and I know who I am.

I'm an actor, and I'm John F. Donovan's friend.

Bullshit!

Cedric! That's it! Out!

Miss, you must admit it's total bullshit!

It isn't bullshit, fucker!

Ooh!

Stop with the foul language!

You lying little girl!

I got the letters in my backpack, dickhead!

- You're just jealous! - Shut up, bitch!

Cedric, out now!

I think what she's really saying is piss off, Cedric!

Rupert, stay a moment, please!

Cedric, you'll be punished tomorrow.

I won't have rudeness in my classroom!

Come on!

Quickly!

Rupert, come here.

Come on!

Rupert, you are aware of the fact

that I'm gonna have to fail you?

- Why? Wasn't it good? - It was excellent.

And it would've been great

for your story exercise back in September.

You have great writing skills, Rupert.

But I couldn't have been more specific

about the criteria of the exercise!

- It had to be real. - But John F. Donovan is real!

Yes, he is, but you made up that story.

I... I didn't!

You know I appreciate how creative you are.

But, Miss Kureshi, it is true!

- Oh, Rupert! - I swear!

I brought the letters,

but the bell rang, and I just couldn't show 'em to the class!

May I see them?

Rupert?

Well?

Shit!

Nice letters! Thank you so much!

Beautiful! Bye!

Dad, are you even listening to me?

Um, hold on.

Yeah, OK. I'll see you...

Dad!

Pfft!

Helena Bonham Carter!

Who are you?

Hey, Phil!

How are you?

Good weekend?

- Good! - Yeah?

Gil, how's it going?

Nice to see you.

I think we're good here.

OK, great.

I know! I don't know what's going on.

OK, I heard that they met in a bar.

They've been together for months.

Really?

This has been going on for a while.

- Oh my God! - You've met him!

The blond guy he brought on set.

Apparently, there's actually a story online.

- Really? - I haven't read it yet...

Looking good, Johnny!

Pfft!

It's great! He sees an opportunity to perform.

Hey! You don't have the right to read the letters!

Don't worry, mate,

we will respect your privacy.

And my most basic rights, thank you.

Yeah, I mean, do you want us to gift-wrap them for you?

Uh, excuse me, sir?

Um, my son was arrested?

Listen, Liz, Liz, can I talk to you for a second?

I was going to craft.

- Yeah, the thing is... - Yeah?

I need a coffee too. Come here.

What's the deal?

What?

It's probably just spam.

I mean, you weren't even with Will Jefford Jr. this weekend.

Were you?

How you could disappoint me in so many different ways

in the course of a single evening

is nothing short of extraordinary, Rupert Turner.

I am pretty impressive.

You lie to your teachers.

You drag me out of work

to come pick you up at the police station

after you've been arrested for breaking into someone's house!

What the hell, Rupert?

I'm sorry, Mom.

No, sorry isn't good enough!

I want an explanation now!

I've been exchanging letters with John F. Donovan.

The actor from... from the show?

Yes. I've been writing letters to him for 5 years now.

He answered the first one, the one we wrote together.

He wrote back?

Yes.

You never told me?

What did he even write you?

Nothing, just stuff about movies and family and friends.

Acting.

How many letters?

Many.

Like, how many? Five, 10, 20? How many?

100, give or take.

Give... Holy shit, Rupert!

What's the matter with you? How much do you hate me?

Oh!

- Why would you lie to me? - I never lied.

Please! You're a compulsive liar just like your father!

I just didn't say anything!

Excuse my poor choice of words!

You lied, Rupert, and you lied for years!

And I won't be treated like a stranger in our own house.

I'm your mother!

Are you? Because you never ask!

You never ask anything about my acting or my auditions.

It's just bullshit, Mom! It's embarrassing, OK?

It's embarrassing that we left America to come here.

For what? For who?

Dad doesn't even have the time to see me,

so what's the purpose of coming to England

except lying to yourself about this whole great, new life

that you can have away from my friends, my life, my school!

Just because you suddenly realized you failed!

So, no, I never talked about the letters

because you probably would've freaked out

and forbidden me to write to the only person

that seems to care about me

in this utterly stupid, banal, point-fucking-less life

I can't wait to get out of,

away from you, away from this place

and your small dreams and your smallness!

Well, you just said goodbye to that audition in London.

Big frickin' surprise!

You couldn't have it, so neither can I.

RUPERT, SHUT UP!

Oh, it's probably Scotland Yard!

Ma'am, how long has your son been writing to John F. Donovan?

Does he write often?

Do you know what your son writes?

Ma'am! Ma'am!

Oh, fuck!

And now Tom with a frankly bizarre story out of Harrow.

Tell us, Tom, how a TV star and an 11-year-old are connected

to an incident involving the local police?

Can you give us any clarity on this, Tom?

Hey, are we sure about the age? I mean, 11 years old.

That's a load of bollocks. Come on!

Run it, Rhys. Richard wrote it.

Bloody hell! How do you like them apples?

I'm an 18-year-old girl. I have needs. I need you.

I keep having those visions.

The ones from when I healed you?

Sarah, this... That's normal.

The day I saved you, our souls were linked forever.

I can't explain why, but...

- Aw, shit! - What?

Busy weekend, huh, Johnny boy?

Busy boy, right, Johnny?

Uh, yeah.

- Billy! - You all right, my man?

Billy, we're running lines.

Sorry, Miss Jones.

That guy is such a douche. Jesus!

Um, Adam, what about Diego?

He's starting to ask questions. He knows.

We'll just get Bella to visit him in his dreams,

erase his memories.

Ah, fuck me! Give me a fucking break!

John, do you want me to call a set medic?

Uh, yeah, to the ER, please! More press!

Hey, Johnny! So, what's this whole letters thing?

- Speak up, James. - Oh, I'm sorry.

Johnny, what is going on with, uh, the letters?

What letters?

You're writing letters to some kid?

That's cute, uh...

OK. Um, yeah, just keep running your lines.

We got time. They are setting up the rig.

- You've got, like, 20 or... - Thank you.

What did he say? I couldn't hear a word.

Uh, Liz, could you read this link Barbara sent me?

My eyes are killing me.

Loud, but not too loud, 'cause...

"Letters to a child actor and risky sex

"lead to JFD's biggest secret ever."

John, we should be rehearsing.

"The affair went public

"after a schoolyard quarrel was blown out of proportion today

"in Harrow, Greater London, England.

"An 11-year-old boy named Rupert Turner

"broke into private property to steal back

"what he claimed were letters stolen by a schoolmate,

"letters apparently written by John F. Donovan himself.

"This comes shortly after the news broke

"of his involvement in an already viral affair

"involving male prostitutes

"and fellow actor Will Jefford Jr.

"Any connections with the letters..."

- Do you have any meds? - What?

Meds. Clonazepam, Xanax?

You don't have any, uh...

lithium, do you?

- What? - Meds, Liz.

I need some fucking meds. Do you have any?

- I only have natural things. - Oh, fuck me!

Do you want Rescue Remedy?

Hey, Johnny! John, John!

Scale of 1-10, what do you give me?

Huh? What am I?

These fucking morons say you won't give me more than a 5.

Fuck that, right?

OMG, Billy, you are so annoying right now!

Hey, what's, um...

What's with this Brit-kid bullshit?

You writing letters to this kid? Wow, busy weekend, huh?

John, are you all right?

Jesus Christ!

Busy boy, right, Johnny?

How do you like them apples?

You wanna know about my fucking weekend,

you son of a bitch?

You think I wanna tell you

about my fucking weekend?

Don't you fucking touch me!

- Oh my God! - Don't you fucking dare!

Johnny, I'm sorry.

You fucking call me Johnny? Who the fuck do you think I am?

Who the fuck are you?

Uh, Brian, get over here.

Johnny has flipped his shit! Shut up!

I thought we were friends.

No! No, we're not friends, man!

We're not fucking friends!

I come here, I say my fucking lines, and you don't know me.

You don't know my life. You don't know my past.

You don't know my fucking secrets!

And I say hello, and I tell you about my fucking weekend

because if I don't,

you're gonna go out there and tell everybody

what a pretentious piece of shit I am, right?

Yeah? Yeah?

"Don't tell us this bastard never takes a shit

"like the rest of us!"

Well, he sure does, Billy!

He sure as fuck does!

And he's so grateful, and he's so nice,

and he's so fucking happy

that he's gonna tell you all about his fucking weekend!

Shit!

- Next! - Next is "pen pals," I believe.

This one's my favorite, maybe ever!

It's so good.

It's so good, I wanna hear you ask me the question.

All right!

OK, do you have a pen pal?

Child pen pal. Do your job.

Do you have a child pen pal in England?

I mean, why not? Why not England?

They speak English. I speak English.

I mean, it's a match made in heaven, right?

Keep going!

Do you have a written correspondence

with a British child actor?

And have I had it for years?

I mean, in the article I read, and I read 'em all...

I gotta!

I mean, I gotta! How else would I know what I've been up to?

I mean, and I've been busy, man!

I've been really busy!

That's just awful.

Yeah, it wasn't great.

And then did he write back

to say he was sorry, to explain himself?

No, of course, he did.

But, you know, being ignored that night

wasn't what hurt most.

I knew he didn't have a choice. I understood.

And it hurt to understand.

But, no, the consequences for me with the boys, my teacher,

back at the time, were gonna be terrible.

Are you gonna miss your flight?

You know, we can do the rest by email, if you'd like.

No, don't worry.

It's fine.

How much do I owe you for that smile?

Piss off!

Can somebody call an ambulance?

I'm sorry, excuse me.

Is there... is there a doctor on this flight?

I'm reporting unusual behavior.

This is the first signs of a stroke.

Audrey, look at me. Are you smelling burnt toast?

Are you OK?

All right, back to business.

Back to business.

So, what happened then?

You guys are visiting the retirement home today.

And I read in your agenda that you have to be formally dressed.

So let me help you.

It'll be fun, Rupert.

Fun and healthy.

You get to do something nice for someone else,

and it will give you a break from all of this insanity.

Feet!

He said he never wrote the letters.

They're gonna kick my ass.

They're all gonna make fun of me.

I wanna stay here with you, Mom.

Please don't do this to me.

Please don't let me down.

You are never to write to that man again.

Do you understand?

Whether it is true or not, I don't...

It is true!

Do you see what he has done to you?

He... he wrote you off in a heartbeat,

and he would do it again if he needed to.

And that's what this entire business is about.

Look, I know you love this.

But I need you to come down to earth, OK?

Focus on your grades.

You can make a girlfriend.

- Or a boyfriend. - Eww!

Rupert, you have to forget about this.

Today's audition could've changed everything.

For once, they're casting an American film.

Rupert, you can audition again when school is over, OK?

In the summer.

You disappear for a few weeks, you disappear forever.

You did.

I did.

And it would be great

if you didn't remind me about that all the time.

I know you think that I have no ambition, Rupert,

OK, and no strength.

Are you happy?

But if some kid makes fun of you or touches you

or... or some grownup mocks you,

I...

I will have to be that... that boring woman who's so small

and come and protect you, OK?

I never was scared of not succeeding

or losing your father.

But I will always be afraid of seeing you hurt.

And not today, not tomorrow...

probably not for a very long time,

but one day,

you're gonna understand that, OK?

Good morning, Olga. Hello, Catherine.

Timothy, Rodrigue, Kamal.

- Celeste, nice dress! - Thanks, Miss.

Cedric, Giant Shark...

Missing anyone?

Where's Rupert?

Rupert Donovan's missing!

Cedric! Warning number one.

- Ah, come on! - Rupert?

Sarah! Sarah!

Come here!

Oh God!

Oh my God!

Oh no, it's absolutely fine.

Um, do you mind if I come in?

OK, sure. Why not?

Rupert dropped this off at school this morning.

What?

"Dear Miss Kureshi, please don't worry.

"I'm off to London for an audition."

I forbade him from going to that audition, Miss Kureshi.

Miss Turner, I...

I'm sure you did forbid him to go, and I...

I know! I'm not stupid, OK, I just...

Rupert's safe, right? He has a cell phone, doesn't he?

- You can contact him... - He wanted to.

But he's... he's just a boy.

He... he knows the city, though.

He visits his father once a month by himself.

Well, he...

He used to.

OK, well, I have a conference in Bracknell this afternoon,

so I'll have to call his father,

and he will put him on the train back to Harrow.

- All right. - Hmm!

Thank you, Miss Kureshi.

Of course!

Um, I'll... I'll see myself out.

- Miss Turner? - Yes?

Yes?

I see Rupert,

and he has such a brilliant future ahead of him.

You know?

Which is more than I can say

for most of the students I've taught.

I mean, I can see a future for them,

but I rarely see a...

destiny.

And I guess that's why I came here today instead of calling.

Mm-hmm. Well, I... I know my son is special, OK?

I... I'm not blind.

Rupert must be pretty ashamed of me, isn't he?

He's probably telling you all sorts of things about me,

isn't he,

just mocking me to all his friends.

Rupert is a lonely child.

He doesn't open up much to others.

Oh. OK.

He... he...

Well, he used to.

I was going through the children's homework

the other night,

and I realized you hadn't signed this paper by Rupert,

the one about role models.

Well, Rupert's had a correspondence

with a 30-year-old man for 5 years with nobody knowing,

so I guess it's no surprise

that he didn't wanna share his essay with me.

I can't understand why.

Good day.

To choose your mother or father as a role model

is probably unoriginal,

but I reckon there isn't a person I know better,

nor admire more, than my mother, Sam Turner.

Over the past few years,

her and I sort of grew apart, but...

you'll tell me that's life.

Sam got pregnant with me,

and my father left her for another person shortly after

and moved to England.

So she raised me on her own.

And for a while, we were a pretty good match.

Excuse me!

My son Rupert Turner had an appointment at 1:30.

I would take care of her, even call her "love,"

which made me feel like an adult.

But the truth is we were simply best friends.

Rupert!

She called me Larry instead of my real name,

and we watched movies together.

I think we've seen The Secret Garden a billion times.

Rupert!

As she quit acting,

I started to audition for small parts.

Rupert!

I thought she'd be proud of me for doing something

she had once been striving to do.

Rupert!

As the years went by,

Sam became disappointed with how her dreams faded,

and we moved here in search of new ones.

Excuse me, sir, my son is there...

It's been hard for me,

but I understand why Sam needed to become someone else.

It's just hard to admit I do.

I know I'm responsible for the distance between us.

Sometimes, I wish all of our problems

and the invisible wall between us vanished,

that it'd be just the two of us again,

with nothing else to worry about,

with no pride and no lies.

Then I'd tell her the truth.

I'd tell her just how much I love her.

Mom!

- I'm sorry! - I'm so sorry!

I'm stupid!

- You're not mad? - I'm so stupid.

You're not stupid, Mom!

Your teacher came. I knew I'd made a mistake.

- But then I read your essay. - You did?

I didn't wanna hurt you, OK?

I didn't wanna hurt you,

and I'm so sorry that you think I'm small-minded.

You're not! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

We'll do it, OK?

Rupy, you'll do it, the acting.

And I'm gonna be there for you, OK?

OK.

I think you knew this was coming, didn't you?

Barbara, this can't be serious.

We've been through so much together.

I need you, and...

Say it.

I need you, John?

I don't need anybody.

That's a position I've been avoiding putting myself in

for the past 40 years.

John, darlin'...

Look around you.

Look at the art on the walls. Look at the rug.

Look at that chair you're sitting in.

I chose this life.

Oh, it could've been different,

much, much different.

I could've done it all.

You have no idea the opportunities I turned down

to work with extraordinary actors, just artists,

become a partner in agencies

you'd never imagine me working in...

I don't doubt you, Barbara...

I'm not finished.

I chose this life, John.

Not for want of ambition.

I like money and all the stuff you can do with it. I do.

But I chose this life because it's the one I can live

and in which I can feel that I'm doing right by my job.

I just can't manage the careers of business people.

It's not 'cause I don't like 'em or respect 'em.

I mean, I can be around 'em and among 'em.

But I can't be them.

I'm not a liar.

And if you're gonna be that person, John...

if you're gonna hire models

to be seen with them strolling out of restaurants

and going to your charity balls,

if you're gonna be the person that dismisses people...

tells kids they don't exist...

I won't go down that road with you.

That's a dead end, and I know it.

I'm not dumb. I know you can do it.

I'm sure you can do it.

If that's what you want.

But I'm not doing it with you.

I've just seen too many friends just get lost in that spiral,

that bullshit black hole.

It's just...

It's just a waste of talent

and time never redeemed.

I'm finished.

Barbara, I have Eileen O'Neal for you on line one.

You'll find yourself another manager, Johnny.

It's the best thing for you right now.

I'll tell everybody that you fired me.

Put her through, Melanie.

What if I don't wanna change?

That one's for your shrink.

Eileen, how are you?

I know, I know! I've been meaning to call.

I've been so busy. Things are just great!

How are the kids?

Disney World?

No, I'm good.

No, I'm fine.

Hey!

Hey!

Um...

Shit, I'm sorry! I should've called.

It's OK.

Um, they took the bus up here for the weekend.

I'm gonna drive them back home for my brother's birthday.

Wow, that's amazing!

Cool.

Uh, I suppose I could come back later?

I don't know if they're staying,

but we could go for a beer or something.

Look, I, uh...

I need to talk.

To me?

Well, yeah.

Uh, no, silent...

Look, I, uh...

I think, um, this whole...

John, I... I like you,

but this... this whole story...

this whole picture thing,

it's just, I don't know.

What, you're, uh, you're ashamed?

No, John.

You are, though.

- Rihanna. - That was Rihanna!

I wish you would've picked up the phone.

Listen, the timing wasn't right.

Look, it's fine. OK?

Honey, come on! Connor needs you!

Hold on one second, Mom.

Sorry, just one minute.

Look, you gotta do what you gotta do, you know?

I... I'm...

I'm young.

And I... I know what I want

and who I am.

And being someone's secret crush

is just nowhere near where I'm headed.

OK?

Um, I'd let you in, but...

Singer? Singing?

Big boobs? Dolly Parton!

It's fine.

I'm sorry.

I sent him a copy of the book,

but never heard back from Will Jefford Jr.

John had mentioned him in the letters, always lovingly,

but no one really seems to know

where Will lives now or what he does.

Hmm...

Word is he's moved back home

and does pretty much everything except act.

Mm-hmm.

Barbara Haggermaker once said in an interview,

one of those Women of Power pieces,

that her greatest failure wasn't dropping John.

No?

It was not knowing him.

When his illness, his past,

when everything about him was revealed,

a lot of people felt that way.

But what should we know of an artist?

What should he reveal of himself,

and why does it matter to us?

So, what became of John?

He just... disappeared.

They sold the apartment.

I think he just went back to the life he once had

not that long ago.

Hellsome High had Adam White leave

on a spiritual journey somewhere in Africa

in the middle of Season 6.

I remember the episode. It was...

It was called "Departure."

Ah! That's fitting.

The man John had attacked on set pressed charges, of course.

They settled. No one ever heard about it again.

Did he write during these months of...

What was it? Do you know?

Isolation? Addiction? Depression?

I wouldn't know because, no,

he didn't write during that period of time.

I mean, I wish I could've been there for John.

But we were miles... We were worlds away.

Life went on.

And John, he'd kept his old habit

of eating in the kitchen of that diner he fancied

and from which he'd so often written me.

He hadn't completely lost touch.

After the London saga,

my mom had allowed me to start auditioning again,

and a sort of serendipitous series of events

and a wide casting

had gotten me a callback in New York.

Of course, I was thrilled,

but mainly because, as we had planned,

I'd be meeting John for the very first time.

The first time in 5 years.

That isn't...

Hellsome High?

It is you, isn't it?

Ha!

I'm sorry. I know that's not your name.

No, that's, uh...

That's a high school. Um, my name is...

John F. Donovan!

I'm not that old.

I'm sure you hate this,

but my grandson is a huge fan of yours.

I was walking with him down Canal Street just the other day

and passed a poster for your show,

and he just got so excited.

He stood in front of that poster around 5 minutes.

He wants to be just like you when he grows up.

Magic powers included, of course.

Does he?

He sure does, yeah.

Well, I don't mean to bother you, you know.

No, you're not. Please.

Oh, aren't you a kind man,

sitting here trying to get some peace and quiet,

and an old fool like me comes squawking in.

No.

No, really, it's...

Well, we'll be waiting for the next great adventure,

then, will we?

- OK. - I don't know, sir.

What?

I don't know anymore.

I, uh...

I feel...

Sorry, I... I feel like...

Talk to me.

I... I feel...

I've done everything wrong.

You know?

I've been thinking...

What if I... What if I don't belong here?

What if I've stolen someone else's place?

Ah, Jesus, say something. Laugh at me or...

Oh dear!

I mean, who am I to contemplate these confessions, really?

Hmm?

I know, I know. I'm s...

I'm sorry. Please go.

I should never have bothered you with any of this.

In my opinion...

things are simple.

People, on the other hand,

have an inexplicable proclivity to make them complicated.

It seems to me you already know you erred,

which is, to say at least, atypical of most people.

But, personally, I look at you,

and all I see is a young man

whose work matters to my grandson.

I mean, how you chose to remedy your wrongs

is yours and God's good businesses.

But the question is...

how could you have stolen a place...

that was made just for you?

Um, I'm sorry, I've never seen you here before.

Well, you see me now.

Blimey! You know, I'd better get going.

Go home.

You're too young for lonely meals in dingy kitchens.

Mom!

Wow!

What are you doing here?

Well, then this is the most perfect night.

So, how's Amy?

Is it, um,

is it because you met someone?

Uh, another person?

Oh, no, no, no!

Don't do this to me. No, come on!

- No, I'm sorry. - You're not gonna leave now!

We're in the middle of a game! Are you kidding me?

Not like "I gotta bail" I'm sorry.

- John! - Mom, I'm... I'm sorry.

I'm... sorry.

I don't know, I...

Fuck, I'm not good at this!

Um, you know, John, that I, um...

I read everything about you.

I mean, everybody gives me every article. Everything.

I see every performance,

all the talk shows, your work, everything.

I follow you and, um...

There's this one thing that you said.

Oh, Ma, what did you read?

You said it on a few occasions.

Um, you said that...

You said that we...

that we came from different planets.

- Oh no, Ma... - And...

John, I...

I come from this planet...

and you come...

from me.

And I know that, um...

I mean, I don't think a mother is supposed to be

her son's friend.

But I know you.

I was the first to.

So, now let's just play cards, OK?

Hey, Ma?

Yeah.

Would you run me a bath and ask me to spell words...

...like we used to?

If that's what you want.

Can I stay here tonight?

Oh, honey, you can stay here for the rest of your life.

This is fun!

Rupert, stop it!

Mom, you should try this!

Stop jumping on the bed. You're gonna break the bed.

You're gonna break the floor. You're gonna break your neck!

I don't know a human being

capable of drying their hair in blue light.

You see how high I can go?

Do you wanna go back to England?

- Mom? - Yeah?

Do you think John's answered my letter yet?

The front desk said that they'd call.

You have to focus on the positive stuff, honey.

Yeah.

It's a full moon tonight.

It's gotta mean something, right?

I guess so.

It will be hard to entirely ignore

this mother-son hotbox on my MySpace.

This one seems like a good one.

"Prandrial"? Oh God, what's that?

"Preprandial."

That's easy.

P-R-E-P-R-A-N-D-I-A-L.

Uh, pertaining to something before a meal.

You are such a nerd.

Is that right?

Sorry, what?

What, that's how you spell it.

Is that right?

Oh yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Honey, are you OK?

I'm fine, Ma.

Yeah?

I'm fine.

Things are gonna be a bit different, that's all.

Yeah, it's a little scary,

but, you know, you just...

You just have to be yourself.

Eek! Well, that'll be terrible!

Shut up, you little fuck!

What the fuck? Don't be a dick, man!

- Hey! Hey! - Oh! Watch it, boys!

Turn it up.

- Piss off! - I fucking love this song!

- Are you fucking serious? - I know that one!

I'm serious! It's a great song! Turn it up!

Ready for this?

♪♪ Desperate for changing ♪

♪ Starving for truth ♪

♪ I'm closer to when I started ♪

♪ I'm chasing after you ♪

♪ I'm falling even more in love with you ♪

♪ Letting go of all I've held on to ♪

You guys!

♪ I'm standing here until you make me move ♪

♪ I'm hanging by a moment here with you ♪

♪ I'm living for the only thing I know ♪

♪ I'm running and I'm not sure where to go ♪

♪ I don't know what I'm diving into ♪

♪ Just hanging by a moment... ♪♪

I guess that's...

I mean, my story pretty much ends here, Audrey. I mean...

Does it, now?

Well, from what Grace Donovan told me...

That was the last time she and Jimmy,

and anybody, as far as they know,

saw John.

Well, then, if I may ask one final question...

How did you find out?

Yes?

Oh!

Oh!

OK!

Uh, well, yes, then... then send it up.

Sorry! I just didn't want my son to see the letter just yet.

Otherwise, he'll go mental.

Uh, is it from Mr. Donovan?

Um, no, I'm afraid not, Miss Turner.

A young man dropped it

with the only instruction to give it to Rupert Turner.

Oh! OK.

My apologies.

No, no, no!

Sorry.

- Thank you. - Have a nice day.

"Dear Rupert,

"I have not slept in days, maybe months.

"I will need to find some time to do that...

"and think.

"You know, I've given my all to this life.

"I've worked on my craft, my career, my reputation.

"I've worked on friends, on family.

"In the midst of all that work,

"the thing I've forgotten to work on is myself.

"In the years when most boys became men,

"I became a celebrity.

"Rupert, I wish for you

"to live a life of recognition and fulfillment, yes.

"But, mostly, I wish for you to live.

"Live before you lie.

"It is what this is all about, unavoidably.

"But some lies are some artists' greatest performances.

"And some lies, I think, are a pure beauty.

"But you are too pure to lie now.

"Because I know your fantasies,

"because I know your desires,

"I also know the disappointment,

"the loneliness that you will inescapably feel.

"Rupert, I cannot think

"of a more impressive young man than you.

"I cannot dream of a more thoughtful confidant,

"a more singular friend.

"I was thinking,

"the greatest of our achievements in this friendship

"is that no one really will understand it

"until you want them to.

"I will find my way to you. I promise.

"Soon I will resurface."

John, it's me!

"But for now...

"I need to sleep.

"I just want to sleep

"and start over.

"Your friend, John."

After all this, um,

I won't pretend that I'm not curious to know if he...

If he killed himself?

We'll never really know, will we?

Um, and I don't know anything more than what's in those pages.

Well, either he did kill himself

because he'd sunk into a deep despair, et cetera, et cetera...

But that's the easy version, isn't it?

Or he really did wanna sleep...

and he made a terrible mistake.

Because the last letter,

it suggests that he was full of hope.

Which is why I'm sure you will understand

that, for obvious reasons,

that is the version that I chose to believe.

Hmm!

All right, Rupert.

Thank you.

I'm sorry we got off to a bad start.

No! Don't worry about it, really.

- I'll get the bill. - Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, there's my ride.

- Go! Go! - OK.

Good luck.

Ah, it's only one scene.

No, I mean, not today, obviously,

but I mean with your career, your life.

I hope you get what you want.

I already have what I want.

Then good!

All right, um...

Oh!

Um, I'll see ya.

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