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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:07,758
cthundering'
(bats squeaking)
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00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,641
(embers crackling)
5
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:24,191
(fireworks booming)
6
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:35,202
(mystical music)
7
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,715
(techno music)
8
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,463
(coughing)
9
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:14,384
- Okay, what the fuck is going on?
10
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,511
Who are you people?
11
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:17,763
Why are you covered in blood?
12
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,556
Why do you have my gun?
13
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:22,267
Why does my neck hurt, who tased me?
14
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,853
Kris, I fuckin' knew you killed that kid.
15
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,313
I knew you were crazy like that.
16
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,023
I need answers and I need 'em now!
17
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,609
- Shut the fuck up, sit down and listen!
18
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,947
(squealing)
19
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:39,159
- Oh, mV God, did Vou see
the look on Santa's face?
20
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,370
I do think we made Santa's naughty list.
21
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,289
- That's because Vour
guys' outfits are amazing.
22
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,291
- [Sadie1 I should send
this Santa picture to Brian.
23
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,584
- No, don't even think about it!
24
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,044
That ass clown hasn't called you in weeks!
25
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:50,087
- We're so putting these up on our
26
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,672
fucking website for the world to see.
27
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:54,299
- OkaV, so I got the box,
Dahlia you got the wreath.
28
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,384
What'd you get, Alexi?
29
00:02:56,510 --> 00:03:01,682
- I totallV chickened out, but
I bought green nail polish.
30
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:02,641
- Boring!
31
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,142
Why are you the enemy of fun?
32
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,894
I should just take all of
your Christmas presents
33
00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,896
and return them and wrap
you some coal instead.
34
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:10,774
- You know better than to
mess with me on Christmas.
35
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:11,608
- Oh, wait a sec.
36
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:14,820
Um, is tomorrow the holidaV
you've been talking about
37
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,947
every fucking day since Thanksgiving?
38
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,116
- Sure, tease me and then leave me.
39
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,867
It's bad enough that I have
to go to work right now.
40
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:21,743
- Work?
41
00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,161
- Somebody's gotta pay the rent,
42
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,913
unless your dad wants to cover me?
43
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:27,207
- Well, what if I told
you rent was covered?
44
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:28,959
- And so's your shift.
45
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,168
- What?
46
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,086
- The only puppies you're gonna
47
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,255
have to worry about today are these.
48
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,756
You're coming with us on an adventure.
49
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:35,590
Alright?
50
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:36,508
Merry Christmas, bitch!
51
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,094
- You're crazy, you know that?
52
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:42,264
- Correction, we're fucking crazy!
53
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,516
(whooping)
54
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,852
(whooshing)
55
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:54,443
- Hello, devoted fans,
Sadie here and Dahlia.
56
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:57,696
- With our dear friend, Alexi.
57
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:58,530
- Hello!
58
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,449
- It's Christmas fucking Eve and we're
59
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,451
on our waV to what might
be the most exciting
60
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,619
urban exploring adventure in history.
61
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:07,789
- So be sure to log on tomorrow
for the full official video.
62
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:10,751
- And Vou never know what dirty
things will come your way.
63
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,211
(whooshing)
64
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,797
(techno music)
65
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:29,770
- Wow, it's so loud in here
I can barely hear myself think.
66
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,275
- [Sadie] That's the point
67
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,029
- [Sadie] There you go.
68
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,989
- What is it Vou guVs do
exactly when you're out there?
69
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,200
- You're telling me
you've never seen a single
70
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,076
one of the Adventure Girls video casts?
71
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,121
- I did once, yeah.
72
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,665
- Okay, then, which adventure was it?
73
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:53,418
- Uh, it was um, it was the factory one.
74
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,755
Abandoned water park?
75
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:57,923
I know, I'm a terrible friend.
76
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,257
I haven't watched any of them.
77
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,091
What do you guys do?
78
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,718
Well, I know you go break into weird
79
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,720
places and you film yourselves.
80
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,933
But what is it that urban
explorers actually do?
81
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,893
- I mean, we just go to awesome places,
82
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:11,394
people don't dare go to.
83
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,355
- And film ourselves running around.
84
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,315
- And then there's the treasures.
85
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:18,902
- Yeah, we collect one keepsake
from each place we explore.
86
00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,988
- Oh, so it's kind of like, um, stealing?
87
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,032
- It's not stealing if it
doesn't belong to anyone.
88
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,826
These places have been closed forever.
89
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,703
I hope Santa Land has some amazing swag!
90
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,080
- So, while you guys are doing all
91
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,082
that awesome stuff, what am I gonna do?
92
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,292
- Have the best fucking Christmas ever!
93
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,126
Woo!
94
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,467
This will have to
do, I have to fucking pee.
95
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:45,387
(tires screeching)
96
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,564
- Well, it's 12:03, I guess it's
97
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,482
socially acceptable to start drinking.
98
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,238
- Classy joint!
99
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,211
Hi, Merry Christmas!
100
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,338
- Oh, fuck Christmas!
101
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,423
Isn't that right, Cherry?
102
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:22,924
- You heard him, girls.
103
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,801
Fuck Christmas!
104
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:25,635
- What?
105
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:26,887
Christmas is awesome!
106
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,766
(stomping)
107
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,649
- What'll it be?
108
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:42,569
(glass shattering)
109
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,198
- Merry Christmas, bitches!
110
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,033
- Oh, shit.
111
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,743
- Come on, all this shit you just
112
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,162
buy into with Christmas, it's just that.
113
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,747
It's bullshit!
114
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,709
- This how Vou welcome
out-of-towners, Cherry?
115
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,669
Can't be good for business.
116
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:00,503
- You know what?
117
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,630
I think we better just go.
118
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,924
- Oh no, you're staying here now, honey.
119
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,675
Looks like you just made a friend.
120
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,761
You joining 'em for drinks, Sean?
121
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:08,970
- I'm on the clock.
122
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:09,888
Where's Jerry?
123
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,683
For Christ's sake, Jerry!
124
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,560
You've got to be kidding me!
125
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,563
JerrV, Vou know Vour parole
officer said no costumes!
126
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,689
What is this?
127
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,068
- So what'll it be, girls?
128
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,988
- Um, I think I'll have an eggnog, please.
129
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,165
- [Cherry] Oh, yeah!
130
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:39,960
- You know what?
131
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,461
I think we're just gonna down these
132
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,337
and get the hell out of here, okay?
133
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,298
- Man, I didn't touch any fucking kids!
134
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:46,758
- I know, I know, okay.
135
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,593
TheV just want me to take
you in for some questioning.
136
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,136
Now, are you gonna cooperate or are
137
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,596
you gonna give me a hard time?
138
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,516
- HeV, he's been drunk
in my bar for two days.
139
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:57,727
OnlV gets up to make a
mess in the bathroom.
140
00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:58,812
- Some shit's been going down,
141
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,272
so we're asking the usual suspects.
142
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,649
Pedophiles and such.
143
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,025
- I'm right fucking here, man!
144
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,694
- Oh, I'm sorry, Jerry.
145
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:06,987
Sex offenders.
146
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:10,573
- Don't chase him out,
it's my one customer.
147
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,741
That tips!
148
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:15,036
(blowing)
149
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,708
- I'm sorry to butt in,
150
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:22,043
but you said some shit was going down.
151
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,294
Anything interesting?
152
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:27,424
- Uh, yeah, just some bear attacks
153
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:30,010
and some odd things around town.
154
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,345
- Ooh, bears, production value?
155
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,182
- Honestly, odd isn't the right word.
156
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,144
Look, I don't mean to
cause an alarm or anything,
157
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,522
but some kids have been murdered.
158
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,857
- [Sadie] Oh, my goodness!
159
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:47,193
- Hey, are you a ranger or a cop?
160
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:51,114
- Well, Veah, I'm no cop,
but uh, I am packing.
161
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,037
- Shouldn't Vou be chasing
forest fires, not felons?
162
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:57,954
- Dahlia, shut up.
163
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,416
- AnVwaV, with everVthing
going on around town
164
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:02,876
and it being Christmas and all,
165
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,753
the police station's a little understaffed
166
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,422
and I know this forest
like the back of my hand.
167
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:08,923
- Sorry, we didn't mean to waste your time
168
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,092
or ask you all those silly questions.
169
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,427
- No bother, ladies.
170
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,345
I'd rather talk to Vou
than hunt down bears,
171
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,681
but if Vou need anVthing
when you're in town
172
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:19,851
or see anVthing suspicious,
don't hesitate to call me.
173
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:26,733
- Ooh, call me!
174
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:27,734
- Shut up!
175
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:28,735
(laughs)
176
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,488
- Okay, but seriously, kids murdered?
177
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:33,448
Maybe we should leave.
178
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,075
- Oh no, no, no, no, I
missed work for this.
179
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,535
We are going on mV first
Adventure Girls mission.
180
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:39,871
Cheers.
181
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:43,166
- Hey, yes!
182
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,959
That one is on me!
183
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,920
Now, 20 bucks for the rest.
184
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,174
(tires screeching)
185
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,843
(ominous music)
186
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,653
- It's not as Christmassy as I expected.
187
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,614
Looks creepy, though.
188
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,366
- Well, let's get started.
189
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,327
(laughs)
190
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,089
(creepy music)
191
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,643
- So Vou readV for Vour
first big adventure?
192
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:46,229
- As ready as I'll ever be, yes!
193
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:47,689
- [Sadie] Wait, hold up, soldier!
194
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:48,523
- What?
195
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:49,983
We're gonna do this, right?
196
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:52,944
- Oh Veah, we're gonna do
this, but you're not ready yet.
197
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,404
- Shut up, of course, I am.
198
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:55,363
I'm gonna have fun, come on!
199
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:58,241
- You're not ready yet, until...
200
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,873
You put on your Christmas uniform!
201
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,332
- Oh, my God!
202
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:10,378
This is kind of hot looking,
but yeah, okay, okay.
203
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,422
- Yeah, it's better than being an elf.
204
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,509
- I think it's cute.
205
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,889
(techno music)
206
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:21,723
- Yellow?
207
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,606
White and purple?
208
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:37,071
- I like the blue one best.
209
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,907
- I think you're right, blue.
210
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,789
- Sadie, our little snowflake
is gonna have a meltdown
211
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,334
when she sees what's inside Santa Land.
212
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,168
(gasping)
213
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,629
And, what do you think of my hot elfness?
214
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,547
Tomorrow when you go online to see
215
00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:55,381
the full length video don't forget
216
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:57,759
to check out our pics
and like them if you do.
217
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,677
And, I hope you do.
218
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:00,511
Later!
219
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,389
Did I get it right this time?
220
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,724
- Yeah, you're a natural.
221
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:06,726
(ominous music)
222
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:09,187
MaVbe I should call Brian and
let him know where we are.
223
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,021
- [Dahlia And Alexi] No!
224
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:16,069
- It's Christmas Eve, what if he
225
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:17,195
tries to get in touch with me?
226
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,279
- He hasn't called you in forever.
227
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,781
Why would you call him now?
228
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:20,865
He doesn't deserve you!
229
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:21,699
- But...
230
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,243
- Ho, ho, ho, let's go!
231
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,671
(thudding)
232
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,302
- Awesome!
233
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,887
Merry fucking Christmas!
234
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:43,846
Wow.
235
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,265
- You know, I thought this place would be
236
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,225
a lot more old and decrepit looking for
237
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,227
the amount of years it's been abandoned.
238
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:53,231
Don't get me wrong, I
still wanna check it out.
239
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,233
- Don't run, you can't outrun it.
240
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,610
If it's too late to back
away, grab a weapon,
241
00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:59,028
any weapon, to protect yourself.
242
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:02,699
If without weapons or pepper
spray, curl up and play dead.
243
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,784
Just reading off things to
do in case of a bear attack.
244
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,411
- Is that your idea of fun,
245
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,704
trying to scare the crap out of us?
246
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,789
- I am just being the voice of reason.
247
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,877
- Meet my taser, my voice of reason.
248
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,879
- On that note, I think we're ready.
249
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:24,429
(ominous music)
250
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,014
- Whoo!
251
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,849
Welcome to Santa Land!
252
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:32,395
(rock ''Jingle Bells'' music)
253
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:43,114
- Cool, the most magical
Christmas Eve land of all.
254
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:47,076
And the Adventure Girls
are gonna explore it!
255
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,293
- Dahlia, go Dahlia!
256
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,629
(grunting)
257
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,801
- You're not gonna make it on heels.
258
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:08,848
- Oh wait, watch out, watch out.
259
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,820
- What do I know about Santa Land?
260
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,113
- [Sadie1 Yeah, tell
me something about it.
261
00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:26,407
- Well, it's been closed for 20 years.
262
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,576
I heard kids died here.
263
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:29,535
The only people that come here now
264
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,204
are crack heads and meth heads.
265
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,538
- Oh, my God, what's this?
266
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:33,790
Oh, awesome!
267
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:38,002
I wanna eat this mushroom
and then get twice as big.
268
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,880
- Don't let me fall.
269
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:43,091
Let's go find something else.
270
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,009
- Oh, my God, you guys!
271
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,761
(chattering)
272
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:48,429
Would you like some tea?
273
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,142
(laughing)
274
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,985
- Someone's gotta tell her
to stop humping things.
275
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:03,903
It's not sexy.
276
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,156
(banging)
277
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:09,158
- Oh no, I'm a naughty girl!
278
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,410
- Don't try this at home.
279
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:16,958
(techno ''Nutcracker'' music)
280
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,256
- Hello?
281
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,843
Any bears in here?
282
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,136
Werewolves?
283
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,096
Unicorns?
284
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:14,765
Al Qaeda?
285
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,395
No, but other things live in
286
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:21,731
the forest like birds and squirrels.
287
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,527
And bears, child-eating bears.
288
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:35,369
(branches cracking)
289
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,250
Okay.
290
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,920
(ominous music)
291
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,390
(humming)
292
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,522
- [Sadie] Welcome to candy cane land!
293
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,818
- Don't you feel like we're being watched?
294
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:08,653
- Are we?
295
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,113
Yeah, I kind of do feel
like I'm being watched.
296
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:12,240
(banjo music)
297
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,699
Is that your new ringtone, sicko?
298
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,368
- Yes.
- Oh, my God!
299
00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:16,994
We'll see who's laughing when you're
300
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,080
hog-tied and squealing for my help.
301
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,998
Ooh, you got a purdy mouth!
302
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,417
- Stop it, Vou're gonna
fuck up my makeup, geez!
303
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,672
(ominous music)
304
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,804
- At this point I don't think
it makes any difference.
305
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:36,889
- I found Jerry.
306
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,476
He was getting wasted at
Cherry's just like Sean said.
307
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:44,438
- Neil, what the hell are you doing?
308
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,024
There is no waV in hell that
this guy could have done it!
309
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,734
Now, cut him loose!
310
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,696
- Come on, Jerry.
311
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,780
Sorry about this.
312
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:54,824
- Merry Christmas.
313
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:55,658
- Get out of here.
314
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:56,867
- Fuck you, Jerry.
315
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,119
- [Neil] See you at poker.
316
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:04,625
(sighs)
317
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:06,419
- [Bruce] What is it?
318
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,462
- I was just thinking about the Bernards.
319
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,299
I mean, seeing her lying there like that,
320
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,176
in all that blood with
her heart ripped out.
321
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,762
(techno music)
322
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:21,559
It was--
323
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,393
- [Bruce] Disgusting.
324
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,227
- It was gross.
325
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:27,398
What kind of monster could
do something like that?
326
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,650
- Officer Green seems
to think it was a bear.
327
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,238
- A bear with a lot of anger.
328
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,449
A lot of hurt feelings.
329
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,162
- You know, Neil, I'm a
little worried about you.
330
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:43,372
You hang in there, kid.
331
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:44,790
- Alright, good luck.
332
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,543
- [Bruce] Be back in a couple hours.
333
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:53,257
(ominous music)
334
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:12,360
- Ugh, looks like someone
got slaughtered here.
335
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,905
I am dreaming!
336
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,531
- [Sadie] It's perfect!
337
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,325
- [Alexi] What, I can't see anything.
338
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,744
- Our treasures, they're inside.
339
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:24,205
(grunting)
340
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,039
(gasps)
341
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:26,165
Jackpot!
342
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,251
Oh, I want this one!
343
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,086
- Look!
344
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,464
Here's your first treasure, Alexi.
345
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,674
- Um, that's okay?
346
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:36,050
- You're saving it from a bulldozer
347
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:37,927
in a few months, of course, it's okay.
348
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:42,181
- Hey Adventure Girl people, fans!
349
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,724
- Hey guys, look, we got our shit.
350
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:46,477
We gotta get the fuck out of
here before our luck runs out.
351
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,980
- Wait, hey guys, we didn't go there yet.
352
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:57,279
(mysterious music)
353
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,709
(sighs)
354
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:19,176
Okay, point taken and rejected.
355
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:22,388
(laughs)
356
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:28,811
(door creaking and slamming)
357
00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:34,150
(mysterious music)
358
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,033
(growling)
359
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:58,549
Oh, look! (laughs)
360
00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:09,351
- [Dahlia] Whoa.
361
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,694
- Ha, I dare you to eat this.
362
00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:20,112
- Oh no, that's gross.
363
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:23,073
- Come on, your audience awaits.
364
00:21:28,746 --> 00:21:29,538
I dare you!
365
00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:31,373
- I don't think so, it's nasty.
366
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:32,792
- [Sadie] Nom, nom, nom.
367
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:33,626
- Uh-uh.
368
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:35,044
- What happened here?
369
00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:37,713
- Ugh, a fucked up ice orgy?
370
00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:39,924
- Oh, that's a good name for a band.
371
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,175
Oh!
372
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:42,927
(growling)
373
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:44,720
(all gasping)
374
00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:45,805
- What is it?
375
00:21:57,900 --> 00:22:00,110
(plopping)
376
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:13,040
(cell phone ringing)
377
00:22:13,082 --> 00:22:16,126
Croaring)
(screaming)
378
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:19,004
(dramatic music)
379
00:22:19,046 --> 00:22:21,841
(roaring)
380
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:24,176
(screaming)
381
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,306
(banging)
382
00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:32,852
(roaring)
383
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:42,653
- [Santa] Krampus!
384
00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:47,408
- What the fuck is it?
385
00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:49,910
- Get the hell outta here now!
386
00:22:55,165 --> 00:22:58,460
(country music)
387
00:22:58,502 --> 00:22:59,295
- Fuck!
388
00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:04,717
- (choking) In the cottage, now!
389
00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:09,305
(grunting)
390
00:23:12,182 --> 00:23:13,017
- What the hell do we do now?
391
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:14,351
Good idea, call 91 1!
392
00:23:16,103 --> 00:23:17,146
- It's me.
393
00:23:17,187 --> 00:23:18,772
- What, what does she mean it's me?
394
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:19,607
Who the hell are you calling?
395
00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,483
- [Sadie] Brian, we're in danger!
396
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:22,318
- Brian?
397
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:23,152
Gimme that!
- No!
398
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,409
(telephone ringing)
399
00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:31,243
- Hello?
400
00:23:32,161 --> 00:23:33,037
He hung up.
401
00:23:34,038 --> 00:23:35,372
It's been like this all day.
402
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,540
- Get out of--
403
00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:40,711
91 1, what's your emergency?
404
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,796
- Hi, yeah, I think we're being attacked!
405
00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:46,300
- Oh God, another one.
406
00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:49,595
Okay, stay calm.
407
00:23:49,637 --> 00:23:51,180
Where are you located?
408
00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:52,139
- Santa Land.
409
00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:58,103
- Santa Land, off the S6, but
that was shut down years ago.
410
00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:00,105
- Yes, yes, that one.
411
00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:02,358
(growling)
412
00:24:03,817 --> 00:24:05,819
- Alright, and who's attacking you?
413
00:24:07,321 --> 00:24:11,367
- I don't know, some big, hairy thing!
414
00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:13,619
(growling)
415
00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:18,540
A bear or something!
416
00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:21,961
And a man, I think he's the owner.
417
00:24:22,002 --> 00:24:23,337
- Let me get this straight.
418
00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:27,716
You're in Santa Land,
so you are trespassing.
419
00:24:27,758 --> 00:24:30,386
- No, no, we're just--
420
00:24:30,427 --> 00:24:32,930
- [Sadie] I smell gingerbread!
421
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:34,056
- Hurry!
422
00:24:34,098 --> 00:24:35,641
- Is this some kind of practical joke?
423
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:36,934
- No, no, we're--
424
00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:40,354
- Is anVbodV actuallV
injured or in danger?
425
00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:41,981
- No, we're fine!
426
00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:44,858
But that is onlV because we're
barricaded in his cottage!
427
00:24:47,111 --> 00:24:49,029
- A bear sent you into his cottage?
428
00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:51,115
Listen, who do you think you are?
429
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:53,951
You're trVing to pull
some kind of shit on me
430
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:55,869
and Vou should be ashamed
of yourself, okay,
431
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:59,081
because tonight it's Jesus'
birthday, so goodbye!
432
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:00,833
(phone clicking)
433
00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:01,667
- Asshole!
434
00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:03,711
Hung up on me!
435
00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:06,714
Oh, we're fucking fucked.
436
00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:07,756
We're fucking fucked.
437
00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:14,930
(growling)
438
00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:15,973
(banging door)
439
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,308
(screaming)
440
00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:22,146
- Sadie, help us!
441
00:25:29,278 --> 00:25:31,155
- Now, let's try to arm ourselves, okay?
442
00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:31,989
- Yeah.
443
00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:32,823
- Okay.
444
00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:36,785
(cell phone dialing)
445
00:25:36,827 --> 00:25:38,662
- Hi, please don't hang up!
446
00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:41,790
Okay, we're trapped inside Santa Land.
447
00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:45,544
Our van got towed and we have
no way of getting out of here!
448
00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:49,214
- This is 91 1, not a car service.
449
00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:54,428
- Why do they keep doing that?
450
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,647
(roof creaking)
451
00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:07,816
(gasping)
452
00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:11,195
(clomping)
453
00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:20,996
(whooshing)
454
00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:29,963
(screaming)
455
00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:33,217
(punching)
456
00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:35,052
- Stop it, now!
457
00:26:35,094 --> 00:26:36,970
Come on, would you stop it now?
458
00:26:37,012 --> 00:26:37,805
Stop it.
459
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:40,808
(yelling)
460
00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:41,934
(punching)
461
00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:42,851
Ow!
462
00:26:42,893 --> 00:26:44,937
- What are you gonna do you fat fuck, huh?
463
00:26:44,978 --> 00:26:46,563
- I'm not fat, you're fat.
464
00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:49,233
(girls yelling)
465
00:26:52,361 --> 00:26:56,782
Czapping)
(thudding)
466
00:27:01,537 --> 00:27:03,372
Now, that's enough!
467
00:27:03,413 --> 00:27:04,206
Sit.
468
00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:13,715
That should keep him out for now.
469
00:27:13,757 --> 00:27:14,925
- What the hell was that?
470
00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:17,177
- You know, I'm verV
disappointed in you girls.
471
00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:19,429
All of you have been very naughty.
472
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,390
You've been trespassing on my property
473
00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:22,975
and you're fucking my shit up!
474
00:27:23,016 --> 00:27:24,643
- That's our motto!
475
00:27:25,894 --> 00:27:27,729
- We weren't trespassing on your property,
476
00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:29,231
we were just exploring.
477
00:27:29,273 --> 00:27:31,066
- Oh, enough of this
bullshit, I don't care.
478
00:27:31,108 --> 00:27:33,443
You guys gotta get out of here.
479
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:36,738
Go into town, take mV
bike, and get your van.
480
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:37,698
- Fuck that!
481
00:27:37,739 --> 00:27:39,032
There's some Bigfoot out there
482
00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:40,784
and we're not calling the police?
483
00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:42,911
- Yeah, forget it, I'm calling Sean.
484
00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:47,583
- This is not for the police.
485
00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:50,961
- Hillbillies are crazy!
486
00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:53,046
- I'm not a hillbilly, you're a hillbilly.
487
00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:55,883
- I don't know who's crazier,
488
00:27:55,924 --> 00:27:58,302
this magician, or that wildebeest.
489
00:27:58,343 --> 00:28:01,847
But, I am reporting Vour ass
to the ASPCA, just so you know.
490
00:28:01,889 --> 00:28:04,266
- OkaV, hold on, just
hold on for a second.
491
00:28:06,185 --> 00:28:07,102
I need to explain.
492
00:28:12,107 --> 00:28:14,193
I don't know how to say this.
493
00:28:14,234 --> 00:28:16,111
I never thought I'd have to say this.
494
00:28:16,153 --> 00:28:18,280
- Spit it out, already!
495
00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:19,531
- Would you listen!
496
00:28:20,949 --> 00:28:22,159
This is my property
497
00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:25,621
and I'm Santa.
498
00:28:27,247 --> 00:28:29,416
Hence, Santa Land.
499
00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:34,046
I'm the real fucking deal, Santa.
500
00:28:34,087 --> 00:28:37,758
And that thing out
there, that is no animal.
501
00:28:40,093 --> 00:28:41,261
That's Krampus.
502
00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:46,767
Krampus?
503
00:28:48,602 --> 00:28:49,394
Krampus.
504
00:28:50,395 --> 00:28:51,188
Krampus!
505
00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:55,567
Oh, goddamn it, I'm
Santa and that's Krampus!
506
00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:56,944
The devil of Christmas!
507
00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:02,866
Krampus!
508
00:29:07,287 --> 00:29:09,790
- And I'm the fucking tooth fairy.
509
00:29:09,831 --> 00:29:11,667
- Oh yeah, that's really adorable.
510
00:29:11,708 --> 00:29:13,752
Oh, if you only knew.
511
00:29:13,794 --> 00:29:16,004
(grunting)
512
00:29:20,801 --> 00:29:21,927
Want a cookie?
513
00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:28,350
(telephone ringing)
514
00:29:28,392 --> 00:29:29,476
- [Bruce] Come on!
515
00:29:29,518 --> 00:29:30,894
- 911, what's your emergency?
516
00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:33,063
Where?
517
00:29:33,939 --> 00:29:35,065
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
518
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:36,024
- [Bruce] Come on.
519
00:29:36,066 --> 00:29:37,484
- You've gotta speak slower I can't--
520
00:29:37,526 --> 00:29:41,655
Where did Vou find the body?
- Sit down, sit down!
521
00:29:41,697 --> 00:29:43,740
- Another damn body, Bruce!
522
00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:46,576
Missing kids, prank calls!
523
00:29:46,618 --> 00:29:48,787
I just can't take this anymore. (crying)
524
00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:51,665
Yes, honey, I'm here, I'm still here.
525
00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:53,500
We'll send Vou somebody--
- Son of a bitch!
526
00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:56,211
- [Operator1 Right awaV,
just give us the address.
527
00:29:56,253 --> 00:29:59,006
(dramatic music)
528
00:30:03,969 --> 00:30:06,221
(growling)
529
00:30:15,272 --> 00:30:19,818
Csquishing)
(slurping)
530
00:30:44,634 --> 00:30:46,845
(dripping)
531
00:31:26,051 --> 00:31:28,261
(whistles)
532
00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:34,184
- Oh, he's a beast, alright.
533
00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:37,354
If you only knew.
534
00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:39,731
He's also part man and part devil.
535
00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:42,776
Krampus is a killer!
536
00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:45,987
He's also my fucking partner.
537
00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:47,697
- Can Santa say fuck?
538
00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:49,908
- No, that is what
redneck freaks say before
539
00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:52,619
they hang you on meat hooks as decoration.
540
00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:56,748
Okay, Santa Claus, we're gonna leave you
541
00:31:56,790 --> 00:31:58,542
and your killer Wookiee here alone
542
00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:00,836
and we're gonna get the hell out of here.
543
00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:04,631
- Alexi, did Vou not see that
little spectacle over there?
544
00:32:04,673 --> 00:32:07,217
Did you not see my magic cane?
545
00:32:08,176 --> 00:32:10,679
- Santa doesn't walk around with a cane.
546
00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:14,266
- The cane comes with me,
not that your folklore
547
00:32:14,307 --> 00:32:18,145
ever covers that because no
one's ever seen me in action.
548
00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:19,396
- Did you just call me Alexi?
549
00:32:19,438 --> 00:32:24,401
- Yes, Vou are Alexi and Vou
are Dahlia and you are Sadie.
550
00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:31,867
- He's some stalker fan, I knew it.
551
00:32:31,908 --> 00:32:34,411
- Wait, have Vou been creeping
on us this whole time?
552
00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:36,496
- Ever since you were born.
553
00:32:36,538 --> 00:32:37,414
- [Sadie] Gross!
554
00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:40,375
- Oh, come on stop it,
you're wasting my time!
555
00:32:40,417 --> 00:32:42,711
I've been in all your houses at Christmas!
556
00:32:44,421 --> 00:32:47,632
What is it gonna take,
huh, for you to believe me?
557
00:32:47,674 --> 00:32:50,385
Do I have to take flight,
presents magically appear?
558
00:32:50,427 --> 00:32:52,012
What do you want, what do you want?
559
00:32:52,053 --> 00:32:52,846
What do you want?
560
00:32:52,888 --> 00:32:57,434
- Well, if Vou're reallV
Santa you'd know what I want.
561
00:32:57,476 --> 00:33:00,061
- (sighs) Fine!
562
00:33:00,103 --> 00:33:02,230
(zapping)
563
00:33:03,648 --> 00:33:04,483
- Oh, my God, yay!
564
00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:12,491
(dramatic music)
565
00:33:29,049 --> 00:33:33,512
Croaring)
(screaming)
566
00:33:36,348 --> 00:33:37,140
- So.
567
00:33:38,266 --> 00:33:40,977
(camera beeping)
568
00:33:42,812 --> 00:33:45,690
Santa, how do you fit down the chimney?
569
00:33:47,609 --> 00:33:48,777
- Magic, of course.
570
00:33:51,071 --> 00:33:52,864
Krampus also uses the chimney,
571
00:33:52,906 --> 00:33:54,866
that's why I blocked mine just in case.
572
00:33:55,909 --> 00:33:57,536
Ha, ha, I know what you're thinking.
573
00:33:57,577 --> 00:34:00,455
What about the houses without chimneys?
574
00:34:00,497 --> 00:34:02,666
I've got other ways of getting in.
575
00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:04,960
I'm telling you not everyone is
576
00:34:05,001 --> 00:34:08,088
so pleased to see me pay a visit.
577
00:34:08,129 --> 00:34:10,006
Here, look at this.
578
00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:10,840
(girls gasping)
579
00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:11,675
Yeah.
580
00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:13,176
- [Dahlia] Nice!
581
00:34:13,218 --> 00:34:14,177
- How do you get to everybody
582
00:34:14,219 --> 00:34:16,763
in the world in just one night?
583
00:34:16,805 --> 00:34:18,431
- More magic.
584
00:34:18,473 --> 00:34:20,559
You see, he only gets the bad ones.
585
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,520
And I'm talking, the really bad children.
586
00:34:25,146 --> 00:34:27,607
- How do you make those reindeer fly?
587
00:34:27,649 --> 00:34:29,192
- (sighs) Magic!
588
00:34:31,861 --> 00:34:33,029
- Wait a second!
589
00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,031
Where are your reindeer?
590
00:34:35,073 --> 00:34:37,951
And where's Mrs. Claus
and where are your elves?
591
00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:40,579
- WhV don't Vou tell me how
you walk in those heels?
592
00:34:42,831 --> 00:34:43,957
- Magic.
593
00:34:43,999 --> 00:34:45,083
- Right.
594
00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:47,502
See now that's all Vou reallV
need to know about that.
595
00:34:47,544 --> 00:34:48,753
- Yeah, yeah, we get it.
596
00:34:48,795 --> 00:34:50,547
He's bad news, ooh!
597
00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:02,976
- My personal story is just not as
598
00:35:03,018 --> 00:35:05,186
charming as the one that you know of.
599
00:35:08,732 --> 00:35:11,026
(whooshing)
600
00:35:14,446 --> 00:35:17,157
There's no such thing as
a naughty or nice list.
601
00:35:18,450 --> 00:35:22,746
I bring Vou presents, but
Krampus shreds your ass.
602
00:35:24,205 --> 00:35:26,458
(siren blaring)
603
00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:30,420
In the '40s your culture banned Krampus.
604
00:35:31,421 --> 00:35:33,840
God forbid they should scare a
605
00:35:33,882 --> 00:35:36,092
little morality into the children.
606
00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:39,054
Krampus was out of the
picture in society's eyes.
607
00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:43,642
And Vou know, quite honestlV,
they didn't need me anymore.
608
00:35:43,683 --> 00:35:46,102
Toys were made in factories.
609
00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:50,398
Presents bought, Santa's sit
on their fat asses in malls.
610
00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:54,277
A tough decision, but I
wasn't needed anymore.
611
00:35:55,945 --> 00:35:59,115
So I started this place
so that I could see
612
00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:01,701
the joy in the children's eyes once again.
613
00:36:01,743 --> 00:36:03,745
I had very high hopes for it, but...
614
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:06,164
I've been fighting a losing battle
615
00:36:06,206 --> 00:36:07,957
to hold on to this land mainly because
616
00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:10,043
I've got Krampus frozen out there.
617
00:36:10,085 --> 00:36:12,837
Had, had Krampus frozen out there.
618
00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:16,299
(whooshing)
619
00:36:18,802 --> 00:36:22,180
Now, you can take Santa out of Christmas,
620
00:36:24,224 --> 00:36:26,518
but Vou can't take the
Christmas out of Santa.
621
00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:32,941
I don't know.
622
00:36:34,776 --> 00:36:36,361
Well, I got him without his magic switch
623
00:36:36,403 --> 00:36:39,322
and I put him on ice and I left
624
00:36:39,364 --> 00:36:41,408
the North Pole and I never looked behind.
625
00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:47,706
He's my responsibility.
626
00:36:49,666 --> 00:36:51,084
More like my curse.
627
00:36:52,377 --> 00:36:53,920
I don't know how he got his switch
628
00:36:53,962 --> 00:36:55,964
or how he got out of that ice,
629
00:36:56,005 --> 00:36:58,717
but one thing's for sure;
Krampus is out of retirement.
630
00:37:01,594 --> 00:37:04,305
(dramatic music)
631
00:37:08,601 --> 00:37:10,186
(telephone ringing)
632
00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:12,147
- 911, what's your emergency?
633
00:37:13,106 --> 00:37:14,816
Okay, calm down.
634
00:37:14,858 --> 00:37:15,775
Are they breathing?
635
00:37:17,444 --> 00:37:18,278
Mutilated?
636
00:37:19,863 --> 00:37:20,822
The kids, too?
637
00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:27,370
Bruce, they found more kids, dead.
638
00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:30,623
I mean really, really, really dead.
639
00:37:30,665 --> 00:37:33,209
(techno music)
640
00:37:37,213 --> 00:37:37,964
- Damn it!
641
00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:40,884
The team's tied up on Lake Drive.
642
00:37:41,968 --> 00:37:43,887
Dispatch Officer Green and Sean.
643
00:37:57,150 --> 00:37:58,234
- Come on, everybody.
644
00:37:58,276 --> 00:37:59,068
Come on, think.
645
00:37:59,110 --> 00:37:59,903
Come on, think, think!
646
00:37:59,944 --> 00:38:01,362
We need to come up with a plan here.
647
00:38:01,404 --> 00:38:02,197
- Yeah, I've got one!
648
00:38:02,238 --> 00:38:03,239
How about we go to the police and tell
649
00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:04,949
them about your fucking boyfriend?
650
00:38:04,991 --> 00:38:06,743
- No, you can't do that!
651
00:38:06,785 --> 00:38:09,662
What are Vou gonna do,
tell them I'm Santa Claus?
652
00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:12,707
No, no, plus theV'll
kill Krampus on sight.
653
00:38:13,792 --> 00:38:15,877
I can't have that, he cannot be killed.
654
00:38:15,919 --> 00:38:16,711
- What?
655
00:38:16,753 --> 00:38:17,587
- I can't have that.
656
00:38:19,172 --> 00:38:21,591
(stammering)
657
00:38:23,927 --> 00:38:25,595
Krampus cannot be killed!
658
00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:26,513
We're connected...
659
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,767
It's just, it would just
be very bad, very bad.
660
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:32,477
- Yeah, well, I think human
lives are a little bit
661
00:38:32,519 --> 00:38:33,937
more important than blowing your cover.
662
00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:36,689
- You'll just have to trust
me, there's more at stake here.
663
00:38:37,982 --> 00:38:40,193
After being trapped all of these years
664
00:38:40,235 --> 00:38:42,362
I can just imagine how hungry he is.
665
00:38:44,405 --> 00:38:45,573
- Well, what does he eat?
666
00:38:45,615 --> 00:38:47,575
- Uh, that's not what I mean.
667
00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:50,036
Krampus kills children.
668
00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:54,374
He puts them in that basket
and then he takes them to hell.
669
00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:56,292
- Wait, wait, wait, I saw that basket.
670
00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:57,710
I saw it when we were in the freezer.
671
00:38:57,752 --> 00:39:00,505
He was taking these slimV
hairballs from the basket
672
00:39:00,547 --> 00:39:02,632
and putting them into the Christmas boxes.
673
00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:04,008
- No, you're wrong, he takes them to hell.
674
00:39:04,050 --> 00:39:05,885
- No, I know what we saw.
675
00:39:05,927 --> 00:39:08,930
We were spying on him until he noticed us
676
00:39:08,972 --> 00:39:10,932
and I swear he was taking
those little hairballs,
677
00:39:10,974 --> 00:39:14,060
those disgusting little hairballs
and putting them in boxes.
678
00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:16,980
- All those kids the
ranger was talking about.
679
00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:19,190
- No, no, no, those hairballs,
680
00:39:19,232 --> 00:39:21,943
as you call them, they go to hell!
681
00:39:21,985 --> 00:39:22,819
Not here!
682
00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:27,115
Why, why is he taking all these
683
00:39:27,156 --> 00:39:29,909
children now, before Christmas?
684
00:39:31,494 --> 00:39:32,787
They can't all be naughty.
685
00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:37,125
What is he up to?
686
00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:46,301
- Speaking of naughtV,
I think I have a plan.
687
00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:52,932
(music fast forwarding)
688
00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:58,646
- Where's my milk and cookies?
689
00:39:58,688 --> 00:40:00,481
- Oh, come on, Mom!
690
00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:01,941
That's the best part.
691
00:40:03,610 --> 00:40:06,988
- Oh, I know sweetie, but it's late
692
00:40:07,030 --> 00:40:09,157
and that stuff alwaVs
gives you nightmares.
693
00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:10,950
- Bed wetter.
694
00:40:10,992 --> 00:40:12,535
- Hey, I'm not a bed wetter!
695
00:40:12,577 --> 00:40:14,329
- I'm not a bed wetter.
696
00:40:14,370 --> 00:40:16,247
- Just that one time.
697
00:40:16,289 --> 00:40:17,999
- [Teenager] You're such a baby.
698
00:40:18,041 --> 00:40:22,587
- Can Vou please stop
picking on your brother?
699
00:40:22,629 --> 00:40:23,755
- Quit picking on your brother.
700
00:40:23,796 --> 00:40:25,715
I'm so over this place!
701
00:40:26,758 --> 00:40:28,676
- Alright then, just go to bed.
702
00:40:28,718 --> 00:40:29,844
- Gladly.
703
00:40:29,886 --> 00:40:30,762
Sleep tight.
704
00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:33,890
Don't let the homicidal hillbillies bite.
705
00:40:34,849 --> 00:40:35,600
- Don't worry, mom.
706
00:40:35,642 --> 00:40:38,937
I can protect Vou from those
homicidal hillbillies.
707
00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:40,813
(laughs)
708
00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:41,648
Goodnight.
709
00:40:43,191 --> 00:40:44,108
- Goodnight, sweetie.
710
00:40:44,150 --> 00:40:45,234
I love you.
711
00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:47,236
- [Boy] I love you, too.
712
00:41:04,629 --> 00:41:06,839
(growling)
713
00:41:12,261 --> 00:41:17,225
Cscreaming)
(glass shattering)
714
00:41:17,892 --> 00:41:20,603
(chilling music)
715
00:41:37,954 --> 00:41:39,747
(screaming)
716
00:41:39,789 --> 00:41:41,916
(roaring)
717
00:41:47,213 --> 00:41:48,381
- Here.
718
00:41:48,423 --> 00:41:49,215
Here.
719
00:41:53,386 --> 00:41:55,763
Once we get him now,
we've gotta trap him till
720
00:41:55,805 --> 00:41:58,057
after midnight and then we're home free.
721
00:41:58,099 --> 00:41:59,767
Well, until I freeze him up again.
722
00:41:59,809 --> 00:42:00,601
- [Dahlia] Why midnight?
723
00:42:00,643 --> 00:42:02,186
- [Alexi] Well, it's Christmas.
724
00:42:02,228 --> 00:42:04,647
- Yeah, and if he takes off without me
725
00:42:04,689 --> 00:42:07,025
the whole world is going to hell.
726
00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:10,486
(growling)
727
00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:12,196
Even more than killing children
728
00:42:12,238 --> 00:42:15,033
he loves women, especially
the naughty ones.
729
00:42:15,074 --> 00:42:17,660
He'll sniff you three out in no time.
730
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:19,454
- Let's get naughty!
731
00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:24,000
(roaring)
732
00:42:30,214 --> 00:42:31,007
Goddamn it!
733
00:42:34,761 --> 00:42:36,471
(spraying)
734
00:42:36,512 --> 00:42:37,889
Krampus!
735
00:42:37,930 --> 00:42:39,432
Goddamn!
736
00:42:39,474 --> 00:42:40,641
Piss!
737
00:42:40,683 --> 00:42:41,768
Shit!
738
00:42:41,809 --> 00:42:46,773
Motherfuckin' phooeV!
(glass shattering)
739
00:42:47,648 --> 00:42:49,942
Goddamn, piss, shit, motherfuckin'phooey!
740
00:42:49,984 --> 00:42:52,862
Goddamn, piss, shit, motherfuckin'phooey!
741
00:42:52,904 --> 00:42:55,031
Goddamn, piss, shit, motherfuckin'phooey!
742
00:42:55,073 --> 00:42:57,492
Goddamn, piss, shit, motherfuckin'phooey!
743
00:42:57,533 --> 00:43:00,203
Goddamn, piss, shit, motherfuckin'phooey!
744
00:43:00,244 --> 00:43:01,496
(roaring)
745
00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:06,084
Cthudding)
(screaming)
746
00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:09,670
Get the fuck off me!
747
00:43:09,712 --> 00:43:12,006
(screaming)
748
00:43:16,469 --> 00:43:19,097
(slobbering)
749
00:43:19,138 --> 00:43:21,474
(thudding)
750
00:43:21,516 --> 00:43:24,143
(taser buzzing)
751
00:43:25,186 --> 00:43:29,315
I've never been so happV
to see your fucking face!
752
00:43:31,567 --> 00:43:33,611
(crying)
753
00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:44,539
(gun firing)
754
00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:46,791
(vomiting)
755
00:43:50,294 --> 00:43:51,629
- Jesus, Sean.
756
00:43:54,799 --> 00:43:56,134
- What's going on, buddy?
757
00:43:56,175 --> 00:43:57,468
- It's bad, Sean.
758
00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:00,805
It got both of them.
759
00:44:00,847 --> 00:44:02,390
- Both of Harrison's girls?
760
00:44:02,431 --> 00:44:04,058
- Yeah, both.
761
00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:07,395
Never seen anVthing
like it in all my life.
762
00:44:07,436 --> 00:44:09,814
We're gonna have to call in
the big guns, that's all.
763
00:44:11,023 --> 00:44:12,942
- I can't write this report.
764
00:44:12,984 --> 00:44:14,235
- Oh, the hell you can't!
765
00:44:18,781 --> 00:44:19,574
- I don't get it.
766
00:44:19,615 --> 00:44:22,243
Why do we need the FBI on a bear attack?
767
00:44:22,285 --> 00:44:25,872
- Look, man, the entire Vard
is enclosed, it's gated in.
768
00:44:25,913 --> 00:44:28,875
We couldn't find a single
break in the gate anywhere.
769
00:44:28,916 --> 00:44:30,126
Not one.
770
00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:31,961
- What are you saying?
771
00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:36,966
- Their little hearts were ripped out.
772
00:44:37,008 --> 00:44:39,802
Sean, this ain't no bear.
773
00:44:49,228 --> 00:44:53,357
- This fucking guV is not
gonna ruin my favorite holiday.
774
00:44:53,399 --> 00:44:54,400
- How did Santa get here?
775
00:44:54,442 --> 00:44:56,319
- I don't know, he was right behind us.
776
00:45:00,031 --> 00:45:02,241
- Santa?
777
00:45:02,283 --> 00:45:04,202
- Some lookout he is!
778
00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:06,078
- Shit, is he dead?
779
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:07,663
(snoring)
780
00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:08,706
- No, he's breathing.
781
00:45:10,791 --> 00:45:13,044
Old man's not dead, just useless.
782
00:45:13,085 --> 00:45:14,045
- Alright, yeah.
783
00:45:15,046 --> 00:45:15,838
Oh, shit.
784
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,467
- Yummy, yummy!
785
00:45:19,508 --> 00:45:20,801
(sniffing)
786
00:45:20,843 --> 00:45:22,386
(growling)
787
00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:24,472
- We've gotta tie him up.
788
00:45:27,350 --> 00:45:30,478
- [Alexi] Can you get this over there?
789
00:45:40,488 --> 00:45:42,823
- He's seriously down for the count, guys.
790
00:45:43,741 --> 00:45:44,784
Picture time?
791
00:45:44,825 --> 00:45:45,618
- Yeah!
792
00:45:46,702 --> 00:45:49,247
(techno music)
793
00:46:02,635 --> 00:46:04,262
Hello!
794
00:46:04,303 --> 00:46:05,554
Hi.
- Hello.
795
00:46:05,596 --> 00:46:06,555
One at a time.
796
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:08,891
Krampus, ho, ho, ho.
797
00:46:08,933 --> 00:46:10,851
Not so tough now, are you?
798
00:46:10,893 --> 00:46:13,854
- He looks like some sort of
fucked up reindeer, doesn't he?
799
00:46:15,690 --> 00:46:18,192
Look at this little puppy.
800
00:46:18,234 --> 00:46:19,944
I'm the Krampus, oh.
801
00:46:19,986 --> 00:46:21,153
Count of three.
802
00:46:21,195 --> 00:46:22,530
- [Both] One, two, three, Krampus!
803
00:46:23,739 --> 00:46:26,450
(bells jingling)
804
00:46:27,994 --> 00:46:28,869
- [Bruce] It's me.
805
00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:30,329
Listen, listen to me.
806
00:46:32,290 --> 00:46:33,082
This is the Sheriff.
807
00:46:33,124 --> 00:46:37,670
Look, I want Vou to get out
to Santa Land and I mean now.
808
00:46:38,587 --> 00:46:40,131
You got that?
809
00:46:40,172 --> 00:46:41,007
Go, get on it.
810
00:46:44,302 --> 00:46:45,970
(snoring)
811
00:46:46,012 --> 00:46:48,389
- [Dahlia] Ha, ha, we got you!
812
00:46:48,431 --> 00:46:49,849
- Let's clean you up and then maybe
813
00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:51,100
we'll get home in time for Christmas.
814
00:46:51,142 --> 00:46:52,101
- Okay, let's go.
815
00:46:52,143 --> 00:46:52,935
- Okay.
816
00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:54,729
Dahlia, you on board?
817
00:46:54,770 --> 00:46:56,230
- Yeah, he'll be fine.
818
00:46:59,358 --> 00:47:01,277
(growling)
819
00:47:01,319 --> 00:47:03,237
(roaring)
820
00:47:03,279 --> 00:47:04,071
- No!
821
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,241
Croaring)
(screaming)
822
00:47:07,283 --> 00:47:08,075
Krampus!
823
00:47:11,203 --> 00:47:13,080
Krampus, that's enough!
824
00:47:16,876 --> 00:47:19,086
(groaning)
825
00:47:28,220 --> 00:47:29,013
Wow!
826
00:47:30,348 --> 00:47:31,140
Go!
827
00:47:34,060 --> 00:47:34,852
Go!
828
00:47:36,937 --> 00:47:38,814
(roaring)
829
00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:43,652
- Hi-ya! (thudding)
830
00:47:47,156 --> 00:47:50,326
(Krampus whimpering)
831
00:47:50,368 --> 00:47:52,244
- I think I wet myself.
832
00:48:18,104 --> 00:48:19,397
- [Brian] Sadie!
833
00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:25,277
Sadie!
834
00:48:25,319 --> 00:48:27,655
- Does Krampus talk?
835
00:48:27,696 --> 00:48:28,489
- Never.
836
00:48:29,490 --> 00:48:30,282
- Sadie!
837
00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:34,328
Sadie!
838
00:48:34,370 --> 00:48:35,162
Sadie, oh, mV God!
- Brian!
839
00:48:36,330 --> 00:48:37,623
You came for me!
840
00:48:39,041 --> 00:48:40,960
- [Brian1 Of course I did,
I was worried about you.
841
00:48:41,001 --> 00:48:42,128
- You were?
842
00:48:42,169 --> 00:48:43,212
- Of course, I was.
843
00:48:43,254 --> 00:48:44,755
What the hell is going on here?
844
00:48:45,923 --> 00:48:49,009
What weird shit has Dahlia
gotten you into this time?
845
00:48:49,051 --> 00:48:50,469
- It's a long story.
846
00:48:52,513 --> 00:48:55,141
(ominous music)
847
00:49:05,443 --> 00:49:09,196
In a nutshell, we're trVing
to help the real-life Santa.
848
00:49:09,238 --> 00:49:10,030
- 'Sup?
849
00:49:11,282 --> 00:49:12,658
- Fight the evil Krampus.
850
00:49:14,827 --> 00:49:17,037
- Great, my girlfriend's on drugs.
851
00:49:19,623 --> 00:49:20,666
- I'm your girlfriend?
852
00:49:22,418 --> 00:49:24,253
(crunching)
853
00:49:24,295 --> 00:49:26,505
(screaming)
854
00:49:26,547 --> 00:49:28,841
(squirting)
855
00:49:29,758 --> 00:49:31,886
(roaring)
856
00:49:40,019 --> 00:49:41,312
- What the shit?
857
00:49:46,775 --> 00:49:47,568
- Sean!
858
00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:49,778
Sean?
859
00:49:52,740 --> 00:49:54,283
Answer, goddamn it!
860
00:49:55,951 --> 00:49:57,578
(dramatic music)
861
00:49:57,620 --> 00:49:59,079
- [Santa] Krampus!
862
00:50:02,124 --> 00:50:04,710
(zapping)
863
00:50:04,752 --> 00:50:06,962
(thudding)
864
00:50:12,384 --> 00:50:13,594
- [Sadie] No!
865
00:50:13,636 --> 00:50:14,845
No!
866
00:50:14,887 --> 00:50:19,850
Brian, no! (sobbing)
867
00:50:20,476 --> 00:50:24,104
(electricity zapping)
868
00:50:24,146 --> 00:50:26,357
(grunting)
869
00:50:33,572 --> 00:50:35,783
(punching)
870
00:50:37,826 --> 00:50:39,828
(screaming)
871
00:50:39,870 --> 00:50:41,455
- What the fuck is going on?
872
00:50:41,497 --> 00:50:43,832
(girls yelling)
873
00:50:43,874 --> 00:50:45,125
- We've gotta get out of here!
874
00:50:45,167 --> 00:50:46,085
- [Sadie] He killed Brian!
875
00:50:46,126 --> 00:50:47,253
- Are you okay?
876
00:50:47,294 --> 00:50:48,963
- [Sadie] He killed my Brian!
877
00:50:49,004 --> 00:50:49,797
- [Sean] Who?
878
00:50:49,838 --> 00:50:50,631
- He killed Brian!
879
00:50:50,673 --> 00:50:51,465
- [Sean] Who?
880
00:50:51,507 --> 00:50:52,800
- He killed him!
881
00:50:52,841 --> 00:50:54,510
- [Santa] Krampus!
882
00:50:54,552 --> 00:50:55,344
- Oh, shit.
883
00:50:55,386 --> 00:50:56,929
Put the weapon down now!
884
00:50:56,971 --> 00:50:58,305
Hey, you, put that down!
885
00:50:58,347 --> 00:51:00,975
(taser zapping)
886
00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:05,771
- Come on, over there, you know the drill.
887
00:51:05,813 --> 00:51:07,231
Go on, go on.
888
00:51:07,273 --> 00:51:09,817
- Officer Green just
called in and said Sean
889
00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:11,735
is not responding to his radio.
890
00:51:12,736 --> 00:51:13,946
Have you heard from him?
891
00:51:13,988 --> 00:51:15,614
- As a matter of fact, I have.
892
00:51:15,656 --> 00:51:20,452
TheV had a report of a strange
truck at old man Kris's.
893
00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:22,538
He went up there to investigate.
894
00:51:22,580 --> 00:51:25,541
- You mean, Santa Land?
895
00:51:25,583 --> 00:51:26,375
- [Bruce] Yeah.
896
00:51:28,586 --> 00:51:30,754
- Shit, I need a cigarette!
897
00:51:30,796 --> 00:51:32,423
- [Bruce] What?
898
00:51:32,464 --> 00:51:33,799
- Oh, look at you.
899
00:51:35,593 --> 00:51:36,677
- What are you doing?
900
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:37,928
- [Operator] Alright.
901
00:51:37,970 --> 00:51:38,762
(telephone ringing)
902
00:51:38,804 --> 00:51:39,722
- [Bruce] Whose gonna answer the phone?
903
00:51:39,763 --> 00:51:41,181
- [Operator] You are.
904
00:51:41,223 --> 00:51:42,725
- Police department, hello?
905
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:44,727
Hello?
906
00:51:46,270 --> 00:51:48,272
I don't know how to work it!
907
00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:49,481
(telephone ringing)
908
00:51:49,523 --> 00:51:50,608
Get off the cookies!
909
00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:00,451
(coughing)
910
00:52:02,411 --> 00:52:05,414
- Okay, what the fuck is going on?
911
00:52:05,456 --> 00:52:07,458
Who are you people?
912
00:52:07,499 --> 00:52:08,792
Why are you covered in blood?
913
00:52:08,834 --> 00:52:10,586
Why do you have my gun?
914
00:52:10,628 --> 00:52:13,255
Why does my neck hurt, who tased me?
915
00:52:13,297 --> 00:52:15,883
Kris, I fucking knew you killed that kid!
916
00:52:15,924 --> 00:52:17,343
I knew you were crazy like that!
917
00:52:17,384 --> 00:52:18,927
I need answers and I need 'em now!
918
00:52:18,969 --> 00:52:21,639
- Shut the fuck up, sit down and listen!
919
00:52:23,223 --> 00:52:24,642
- You have to help us.
920
00:52:24,683 --> 00:52:26,143
We need your help.
921
00:52:26,185 --> 00:52:28,604
He killed Brian, he's gonna kill everyone.
922
00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:29,813
- That's the thing.
923
00:52:29,855 --> 00:52:32,149
- It all seems reallV
crazy, but he didn't do it.
924
00:52:32,191 --> 00:52:33,692
He didn't kill Brian.
925
00:52:33,734 --> 00:52:35,444
The real killer's out there!
926
00:52:35,486 --> 00:52:36,487
He's Santa.
927
00:52:39,198 --> 00:52:41,492
- You picked a hell of a day to do this.
928
00:52:41,533 --> 00:52:43,577
(laughs)
929
00:52:44,662 --> 00:52:46,914
- Look, he's Santa Claus!
930
00:52:48,707 --> 00:52:51,168
- Why are all the hot ones crazy?
931
00:52:51,210 --> 00:52:53,921
Look, this is old man Kris.
932
00:52:53,962 --> 00:52:55,631
Everyone knows Kris.
933
00:52:55,673 --> 00:52:57,216
He used to run Santa Land back in the day,
934
00:52:57,257 --> 00:52:59,134
but now he's just an old hermit.
935
00:52:59,176 --> 00:52:59,968
- Excuse me?
936
00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:03,097
- And he's going to jail
for a very long time
937
00:53:03,138 --> 00:53:05,265
just like you and you and you.
938
00:53:05,307 --> 00:53:06,392
- The hell we are!
939
00:53:07,267 --> 00:53:09,895
(girls yelling)
940
00:53:13,148 --> 00:53:14,358
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
941
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:15,484
One at a time, one at a time!
942
00:53:15,526 --> 00:53:16,318
You!
943
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:17,986
- So there's this creature, right?
944
00:53:18,028 --> 00:53:22,533
He's like this big, hairV animal
with these horns, you know?
945
00:53:22,574 --> 00:53:23,367
Um--
946
00:53:23,409 --> 00:53:24,201
- Krampus!
947
00:53:24,243 --> 00:53:25,786
- Yeah.
948
00:53:25,828 --> 00:53:28,163
- Look, I've seen enough mangled kids
949
00:53:28,205 --> 00:53:29,957
in the past week to last a lifetime.
950
00:53:30,958 --> 00:53:33,252
Given the day I've had, I'm not sure if
951
00:53:33,293 --> 00:53:36,213
I trust my gut or what you're telling me.
952
00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:39,675
- The thing is that he's not the killer.
953
00:53:39,717 --> 00:53:41,051
He didn't do it, he's Santa.
954
00:53:41,093 --> 00:53:42,928
Yeah, he's Kris.
955
00:53:42,970 --> 00:53:46,014
Kris Kringle, you know, like, Santa Claus?
956
00:53:46,056 --> 00:53:47,850
- Ho, ho, ho!
957
00:53:47,891 --> 00:53:49,351
Santa Claus.
958
00:53:49,393 --> 00:53:51,562
- Anyway, the thing is we have to save
959
00:53:51,603 --> 00:53:54,022
the world from that monster out there!
960
00:53:54,064 --> 00:53:54,857
- The world?
961
00:53:54,898 --> 00:53:55,691
- Yes!
962
00:53:55,733 --> 00:53:56,900
Sean, do you trust me?
963
00:53:56,942 --> 00:53:58,235
- No!
964
00:53:58,277 --> 00:53:59,194
- Santa?
965
00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:00,028
- [Santa] Hmm?
966
00:54:00,070 --> 00:54:01,238
- Show him your thing.
967
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,407
(zapping)
968
00:54:06,660 --> 00:54:07,453
- Holy shit.
969
00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:10,330
(laughs)
970
00:54:10,372 --> 00:54:11,248
Wow.
971
00:54:11,290 --> 00:54:12,374
(roaring)
972
00:54:12,416 --> 00:54:15,377
Gimme the fucking gun, give it here.
973
00:54:17,463 --> 00:54:18,756
What's it called?
974
00:54:18,797 --> 00:54:20,257
- [Santa] Krampus!
975
00:54:22,509 --> 00:54:24,178
(growling)
976
00:54:24,219 --> 00:54:27,181
(suspenseful music)
977
00:54:40,152 --> 00:54:42,029
- This is unbelievable.
978
00:54:44,490 --> 00:54:45,783
Let's say I do believe you.
979
00:54:47,785 --> 00:54:50,788
When I was a kid and you opened this place
980
00:54:50,829 --> 00:54:52,873
I really thought you were Santa.
981
00:54:52,915 --> 00:54:55,834
It was the onlV thing this
boring town had going for it.
982
00:54:55,876 --> 00:54:57,085
Christmas all year round.
983
00:54:58,253 --> 00:55:00,297
I thought I was the
luckiest kid in the world.
984
00:55:00,339 --> 00:55:01,882
- Well, goody fucking gum drops.
985
00:55:02,883 --> 00:55:03,842
I'm glad you had your fun.
986
00:55:03,884 --> 00:55:05,552
Here, have a cookie.
- Thank you.
987
00:55:05,594 --> 00:55:06,386
- But we don't have much time.
988
00:55:06,428 --> 00:55:08,680
You see, we gotta trap
him before midnight!
989
00:55:10,057 --> 00:55:12,059
- Yeah, no one knows this forest
990
00:55:12,100 --> 00:55:14,228
like I do, not even you, Kris.
991
00:55:14,269 --> 00:55:17,314
Let's get this Krampus
and take back Christmas!
992
00:55:17,356 --> 00:55:20,192
(dramatic music)
993
00:55:20,234 --> 00:55:22,986
- Okay, Dahlia, you're gonna be our eyes
994
00:55:23,028 --> 00:55:25,531
on the south end in car two
of the bumblebee coaster.
995
00:55:25,572 --> 00:55:26,365
- Got it!
996
00:55:28,408 --> 00:55:30,035
- Sadie, you have your compact?
997
00:55:30,077 --> 00:55:31,912
Great, Vou're gonna flash
it if you see anything.
998
00:55:31,954 --> 00:55:33,747
You're gonna be in the bumblebee hive.
999
00:55:35,791 --> 00:55:39,002
I'm gonna be perched right
here on top of the north tower.
1000
00:55:42,422 --> 00:55:45,801
Sean, you'll be with me in the tower.
1001
00:55:45,843 --> 00:55:47,427
- Your wish is my command.
1002
00:55:47,469 --> 00:55:48,262
(gun clicking)
1003
00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:49,096
Santa?
- Hmm?
1004
00:55:49,137 --> 00:55:49,972
- You're gonna be at the house of mirrors
1005
00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:51,765
and Vou are gonna have
your cane at the ready.
1006
00:55:51,807 --> 00:55:53,100
- I'm there.
1007
00:55:53,141 --> 00:55:56,144
(crunching)
1008
00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:57,729
Yeah!
- Ha!
1009
00:55:57,771 --> 00:56:00,691
(slapping)
1010
00:56:00,732 --> 00:56:02,025
(yelling)
1011
00:56:02,067 --> 00:56:05,028
- Santa Claus is coming to town, bitches!
1012
00:56:06,071 --> 00:56:07,865
(dramatic music)
1013
00:56:07,906 --> 00:56:09,199
- Okay.
1014
00:56:09,241 --> 00:56:11,910
(camera clicking)
1015
00:56:11,952 --> 00:56:13,537
Oh, no, it was blurry.
1016
00:56:13,579 --> 00:56:16,123
(all groaning)
1017
00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:21,670
(suspenseful music)
1018
00:56:41,690 --> 00:56:43,901
(growling)
1019
00:56:48,697 --> 00:56:51,575
(creaking)
1020
00:56:51,617 --> 00:56:52,534
- Shit!
1021
00:56:52,576 --> 00:56:55,370
I don't think it's working.
1022
00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:56,622
What do we do now?
1023
00:56:56,663 --> 00:56:57,956
- Good question.
1024
00:57:04,796 --> 00:57:07,007
(growling)
1025
00:57:13,847 --> 00:57:14,640
It's okay.
1026
00:57:14,681 --> 00:57:16,016
- OkaV.
- It's just a noise.
1027
00:57:16,058 --> 00:57:18,727
(moaning)
1028
00:57:18,769 --> 00:57:20,979
(growling)
1029
00:57:27,861 --> 00:57:29,154
(screaming)
1030
00:57:29,196 --> 00:57:30,739
- OkaV.
- Come on!
1031
00:57:30,781 --> 00:57:32,783
- Fuck you! (banging)
1032
00:57:32,824 --> 00:57:33,617
Fuck you!
1033
00:57:37,746 --> 00:57:38,538
Fuck you!
1034
00:57:40,374 --> 00:57:44,670
CVelling)
(slicing)
1035
00:57:47,422 --> 00:57:48,799
(screaming)
1036
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:53,136
- [Sadie] Hi-ya! (thudding)
1037
00:57:53,178 --> 00:57:54,888
- [Santa] This way, Sadie!
1038
00:57:54,930 --> 00:57:57,557
(roaring)
1039
00:57:57,599 --> 00:57:58,684
(punching)
1040
00:57:58,725 --> 00:57:59,851
- [Sean] Nice!
1041
00:58:01,561 --> 00:58:02,604
Motherfucker!
1042
00:58:04,356 --> 00:58:05,148
Come on!
1043
00:58:06,149 --> 00:58:08,860
(dramatic music)
1044
00:58:10,195 --> 00:58:11,780
Fucking asshole!
1045
00:58:11,822 --> 00:58:14,116
(screaming)
1046
00:58:23,709 --> 00:58:26,420
(engine revving)
1047
00:58:32,509 --> 00:58:34,094
- Stop!
1048
00:58:34,136 --> 00:58:35,262
- Cherry?
1049
00:58:35,303 --> 00:58:36,513
- What the hell is she doing here?
1050
00:58:36,555 --> 00:58:38,098
- Get those girls to safety.
1051
00:58:39,599 --> 00:58:41,601
I'll take care of these guys.
1052
00:58:43,895 --> 00:58:45,981
- Who the fuck called
the fucking bartender?
1053
00:58:46,023 --> 00:58:47,607
- I got this.
1054
00:58:47,649 --> 00:58:50,068
I am the wifey, after all.
1055
00:58:52,779 --> 00:58:55,365
Ain't that right, honey?
1056
00:58:55,407 --> 00:58:58,535
- Baby, I missed you so much.
1057
00:58:59,411 --> 00:59:02,080
(engine revving)
1058
00:59:02,122 --> 00:59:04,374
- How is she gonna capture Krampus?
1059
00:59:04,416 --> 00:59:06,418
- Well, she's his crazy ex, right?
1060
00:59:07,502 --> 00:59:09,004
That must make her Mrs. Claus!
1061
00:59:10,172 --> 00:59:10,964
Come on!
1062
00:59:12,591 --> 00:59:16,595
- Of all nights, you chose tonight
1063
00:59:16,636 --> 00:59:19,306
to call in some bitches for fun?
1064
00:59:19,347 --> 00:59:20,098
- No, no, no, no--
1065
00:59:20,140 --> 00:59:22,142
- Big surprise!
- It's not what it looks like.
1066
00:59:22,184 --> 00:59:24,144
- You whimpering fool!
1067
00:59:24,186 --> 00:59:25,562
You failed me again!
1068
00:59:27,355 --> 00:59:31,526
I alwaVs stuck bV Vou even
when your business failed
1069
00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:32,861
and we had to eat the reindeer.
1070
00:59:32,903 --> 00:59:35,155
Did I ever complain?
1071
00:59:35,197 --> 00:59:35,989
- Never.
1072
00:59:38,658 --> 00:59:42,996
- Don't you know what I've been up to?
1073
00:59:43,038 --> 00:59:46,166
(laughing menacingly)
1074
00:59:56,093 --> 00:59:58,804
(telephone ringing)
1075
00:59:58,845 --> 01:00:00,722
- Margaret, he's just drunk.
1076
01:00:00,764 --> 01:00:02,307
He's gonna be fine tomorrow, don't--
1077
01:00:02,349 --> 01:00:06,728
Look, Margaret, I gotta,
hang on a second I got--
1078
01:00:06,770 --> 01:00:08,313
Goddamn it!
1079
01:00:08,355 --> 01:00:09,606
No, not you, Margaret.
1080
01:00:11,024 --> 01:00:11,817
Hold on.
1081
01:00:13,985 --> 01:00:16,488
Green, this is the sheriff.
1082
01:00:16,530 --> 01:00:19,366
Look, we haven't heard
from Sean in a while.
1083
01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:20,450
He went out to Santa Land.
1084
01:00:20,492 --> 01:00:22,577
I need Vou guVs to get out
there, I'm a little bit worried.
1085
01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:24,162
Find out what the heck is going on.
1086
01:00:24,204 --> 01:00:24,996
- [Green] Jesus Christ, Sean!
1087
01:00:25,038 --> 01:00:26,581
- Get out there right now.
1088
01:00:26,623 --> 01:00:27,415
- [Green] Okay.
1089
01:00:27,457 --> 01:00:28,750
- Good, thank you.
1090
01:00:28,792 --> 01:00:30,460
(telephone ringing)
1091
01:00:30,502 --> 01:00:31,294
Jesus.
1092
01:00:32,671 --> 01:00:35,423
Margaret, hello?
1093
01:00:35,465 --> 01:00:36,299
(all panting and crying)
1094
01:00:36,341 --> 01:00:37,134
- [Sean] Come on!
1095
01:00:41,263 --> 01:00:43,640
- [Alexi] What is this place?
1096
01:00:52,190 --> 01:00:56,903
(door closing)
(gasping)
1097
01:00:59,114 --> 01:01:00,365
(siren blaring)
1098
01:01:00,407 --> 01:01:03,034
(country music)
1099
01:01:06,454 --> 01:01:07,873
(ominous music)
1100
01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:08,707
- Krampus!
1101
01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:13,170
(chain rattling)
1102
01:01:18,175 --> 01:01:20,468
(zapping)
1103
01:01:20,510 --> 01:01:21,845
Cherry, what have you done?
1104
01:01:23,221 --> 01:01:28,185
- I was nobodV to Vou and
nobody to the entire world.
1105
01:01:28,768 --> 01:01:30,854
You saw the way they portrayed me.
1106
01:01:30,896 --> 01:01:35,901
AlwaVs at Vour side with a
plate of cookies to serve you.
1107
01:01:35,942 --> 01:01:36,735
Uh-uh-uh.
1108
01:01:38,153 --> 01:01:43,116
I was portrayed as fat, ugly and old.
1109
01:01:44,242 --> 01:01:49,122
When we both know that I am fucking hot!
1110
01:01:52,375 --> 01:01:55,045
I am cleansing the world of all
1111
01:01:55,086 --> 01:01:58,340
the little shits, naughty or nice!
1112
01:01:58,381 --> 01:01:59,174
And guess what?
1113
01:01:59,216 --> 01:02:00,008
- You can't do this!
1114
01:02:00,050 --> 01:02:03,303
- They'll all think it was you!
1115
01:02:03,345 --> 01:02:05,972
(ominous music)
1116
01:02:11,019 --> 01:02:12,479
- [Sadie] What's that noise?
1117
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:14,481
- It's, uh, rats.
1118
01:02:14,522 --> 01:02:15,357
It's probably just rats.
1119
01:02:15,398 --> 01:02:17,317
Big fucking rats or something.
1120
01:02:17,359 --> 01:02:18,360
- Oh, my God, gross.
1121
01:02:18,401 --> 01:02:22,530
- After everVthing we went
through rats are gross?
1122
01:02:25,992 --> 01:02:28,078
(thumping)
1123
01:02:28,119 --> 01:02:30,413
(squeaking)
1124
01:02:31,957 --> 01:02:32,749
(screaming)
1125
01:02:32,791 --> 01:02:34,501
- [Sean] Hairy balls!
1126
01:02:37,045 --> 01:02:39,673
(ominous music)
1127
01:02:42,759 --> 01:02:44,427
- Why are you doing this?
1128
01:02:44,469 --> 01:02:48,682
- To rewrite historV mV
way with a little help
1129
01:02:48,723 --> 01:02:52,644
from my (snarling) hairy boyfriend.
1130
01:02:55,272 --> 01:02:56,690
(growling)
1131
01:02:56,731 --> 01:02:58,984
(laughing)
1132
01:03:02,153 --> 01:03:02,946
Oh, baby!
1133
01:03:03,863 --> 01:03:08,827
You were too busV spreading
love to the world.
1134
01:03:09,744 --> 01:03:12,372
(Santa gagging)
1135
01:03:13,540 --> 01:03:16,876
Krampus, go get our sleigh.
1136
01:03:18,169 --> 01:03:21,423
We have work to do tonight.
1137
01:03:21,464 --> 01:03:23,675
(laughing)
1138
01:03:27,262 --> 01:03:29,556
(squeaking)
1139
01:03:32,142 --> 01:03:34,436
(screaming)
1140
01:03:36,730 --> 01:03:38,940
(snapping)
1141
01:03:41,192 --> 01:03:43,486
- [Sean] Killer hairy balls!
1142
01:03:46,656 --> 01:03:48,783
(chewing)
1143
01:03:50,535 --> 01:03:52,871
(squeaking)
1144
01:03:59,044 --> 01:04:01,254
(snapping)
1145
01:04:02,172 --> 01:04:04,466
(screaming)
1146
01:04:19,564 --> 01:04:21,941
(gun firing)
1147
01:04:27,530 --> 01:04:28,823
(laughing)
1148
01:04:28,865 --> 01:04:31,326
- Sounds like it's feeding time.
1149
01:04:34,954 --> 01:04:40,001
Krampus!
1150
01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:42,253
(grunting)
1151
01:04:46,049 --> 01:04:48,259
(growling)
1152
01:05:10,907 --> 01:05:12,826
(screaming)
1153
01:05:12,867 --> 01:05:15,245
(gun firing)
1154
01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:30,635
- We have to stop them.
1155
01:05:40,353 --> 01:05:41,146
Hurry!
1156
01:05:42,439 --> 01:05:43,731
She has my cane.
1157
01:05:45,608 --> 01:05:46,401
Mazel tov!
1158
01:05:56,202 --> 01:06:00,748
Cwhooshing)
(thudding)
1159
01:06:03,126 --> 01:06:06,212
- Get her off mV sleigh,
she's not magical!
1160
01:06:06,254 --> 01:06:07,046
Go, go, go!
1161
01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:12,427
Cwhacking)
(laughing)
1162
01:06:16,055 --> 01:06:16,931
Go, go, go!
1163
01:06:17,891 --> 01:06:18,766
Go, go, go!
1164
01:06:20,602 --> 01:06:22,729
(roaring)
1165
01:06:28,818 --> 01:06:29,611
Yes!
1166
01:06:37,702 --> 01:06:39,496
(gun firing)
1167
01:06:39,537 --> 01:06:41,664
(roaring)
1168
01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:54,636
- I'm so sorry.
1169
01:06:56,804 --> 01:06:58,014
But you're all connected.
1170
01:07:04,938 --> 01:07:07,065
(slicing)
1171
01:07:07,982 --> 01:07:10,318
(thudding)
1172
01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:12,654
(squirting)
1173
01:07:15,573 --> 01:07:19,202
(Cherry screaming)
1174
01:07:19,244 --> 01:07:21,538
(exploding)
1175
01:07:25,208 --> 01:07:27,835
(siren blaring)
1176
01:07:32,549 --> 01:07:34,884
- Sean, this way, come on!
1177
01:07:35,885 --> 01:07:36,678
Sean!
1178
01:07:38,304 --> 01:07:39,222
Sean!
1179
01:07:39,264 --> 01:07:40,723
Sean, are you alright?
1180
01:07:43,393 --> 01:07:44,519
What happened?
1181
01:07:47,397 --> 01:07:49,607
- You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
1182
01:07:49,649 --> 01:07:52,193
(girls crying)
1183
01:07:57,699 --> 01:07:59,909
(tinkling)
1184
01:08:02,912 --> 01:08:04,872
(growling)
1185
01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:08,209
(spooky jingling music)
1186
01:08:18,219 --> 01:08:21,347
(electricity buzzing)
1187
01:09:27,205 --> 01:09:29,082
- Merry Christmas, bitches!
1188
01:09:30,041 --> 01:09:32,168
(electricity buzzing)
1189
01:09:32,210 --> 01:09:36,422
(fast rock ''Deck the Halls'' music)
1190
01:09:53,898 --> 01:09:56,526
♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪
1191
01:09:56,567 --> 01:09:59,320
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪
1192
01:09:59,362 --> 01:10:02,156
♪ Tis the season to be jolly ♪
1193
01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:04,951
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪
1194
01:10:04,992 --> 01:10:07,829
♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪
1195
01:10:07,870 --> 01:10:10,665
♪ Fa la la, la la la, la la la ♪
1196
01:10:10,707 --> 01:10:13,501
♪ Troll the ancient Yule tide carol ♪
1197
01:10:13,543 --> 01:10:17,338
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪
1198
01:10:28,182 --> 01:10:30,768
♪ See the blazing Yule before us ♪
1199
01:10:30,810 --> 01:10:33,604
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪
1200
01:10:33,646 --> 01:10:36,399
♪ Strike the harp and join the chorus ♪
1201
01:10:36,441 --> 01:10:39,235
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪
1202
01:10:39,277 --> 01:10:42,113
♪ Follow me in merry measure ♪
1203
01:10:42,155 --> 01:10:45,074
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪
1204
01:10:45,116 --> 01:10:47,827
♪ While I tell of Yule tide treasure ♪
1205
01:10:47,869 --> 01:10:52,832
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪
1206
01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:58,713
♪ Fa la la la la ♪
1207
01:10:59,338 --> 01:11:02,550
♪ Fa la la la la ♪
1208
01:11:02,592 --> 01:11:05,052
♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪
1209
01:11:05,094 --> 01:11:07,847
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪
1210
01:11:07,889 --> 01:11:10,725
♪ Tis the season to be jolly ♪
1211
01:11:10,767 --> 01:11:13,644
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪
1212
01:11:13,686 --> 01:11:16,397
♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪
1213
01:11:16,439 --> 01:11:19,275
♪ Fa la la, la la la, la la la ♪
1214
01:11:19,317 --> 01:11:22,111
♪ Troll the ancient Yule tide carol ♪
1215
01:11:22,153 --> 01:11:25,948
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪
1216
01:11:48,179 --> 01:11:52,725
♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪
1217
01:11:52,767 --> 01:11:56,062
(chilling techno music)
1218
01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:24,311
(fast rap music)
1219
01:15:46,542 --> 01:15:49,086
(techno music)
1220
01:16:54,443 --> 01:16:56,737
(whooshing)
75728
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