All language subtitles for Shameless (US) 11x02 - Go Home, Gentrifier! (English)

Hey, back up.

What do I look like,
the information lady?

Hell, no. I'm a law enforcement officer,

emphasis on the enforcement.

You need to know what happened
last week on Shameless?

Better go find someone
who actually gives a shit.

Rock music

City of Chicago says

all bars are closed
until further notice.

Hail, 'rona survivors!
Where is everyone?

The mayor shut us all
down again on Tuesday.

Well, who the hell can keep track?

I made a big mistake, son.

I rented this house without asking
your mommy first,

and now I'm basically her bitch.

Holy shit!

- What the hell is that?
- Hands off, Frank.

We're not offering credit

on cannabis products.
Payment up front only.

Debbie needs her share of the utilities.

Want me to get some shitty-ass

minimum-wage job like you,

hauling boxes around a warehouse?

What the fuck is this?

I go and get our money,

all I find is IOUs.

You spent all our
money from the wedding?

Did you eat all the brownies?

I had three,

and Tommy had four.

We were hungry.

With the loss of so many
officers to the 'rona,

the bosses are willing
to put you on the street.

It's not a tough call
to give you a badge.

Busting heads is a man's job,

and you are a natural born ass kicker.

Congratulations, Gallagher.

You're gonna get to be one
of the best of the best,

a goddamn Chicago police officer.

Thank you, sir.

- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --

Watch out, crackheads.
Coming back for you later.

Making a mental note
of your face, shitbag.

Watch it, ladies.

Might haul your asses
down to the station.

Yeah, that's right. You're
looking at the po-po.

First day on the job.

My birthday!

Wake up!

Wake up! I'm five!

Hey, hey. Look who it is.

The birthday girl.

Presents?

Oh, no, no.

It's not like Christmas, Franny.

You're gonna get your presents

tonight at your party.

Oh.

Hey. Come on.

Let's go make some breakfast, huh?

Whoof!

Go sit!

Yo, what up?

Why'd you guys sleep here last night?

Oh, the fumes at our new place

from resurfacing the bathtub.

Good morning, Franny. Happy birthday.

Thank you.

These up for grabs?

- No, don't touch.
- Why?

I'm gonna sell them for
cheap to the lunch debt kids.

What's a lunch debt kid?

Kids who run out of
money on their food account.

Can't eat the hot
lunch till they pay up.

Is that even legal?

Don't public schools
have to feed the kids?

Yeah, but the lunch lady
serves them gross shit

like stale bread,

government cheese, chunky pudding.

So you're capitalizing on
the misfortunes of others

by selling them your
peanut butter sandwiches?

The American way. See you.

Hey, there's my sweet birthday princess!

Who is five today?

- Me!
- You? Ah!

I don't know! She looks like a big girl.

Did you grow overnight?

Are you sure you're not 15?

I am! I am!

Yeah, I knew you were.

Are you excited for your princess party?

I hate princesses!

What? No, you don't.

I'm with Frans on this one.

Hey, no. I invited your entire class.

There's gonna be a bouncy house.

We're gonna get a bunch of decorations

at the dollar store.
It's gonna be great.

Hey, can I tag along
to the dollar store?

- Sure.
- Homeboy needs more diapers.

- Is that me?
- Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey, birthday Franny.

Hey, look what I got you from work.

They let us keep stuff if
it's past its expiration date.

There's so much stuff that just gets

thrown away into a dumpster.

Oh, great job, man. Free old cereal.

Yeah, at least I have a real job.

Get off my back.

Hey, Debs, I'm finally gonna get

my first paycheck later,

so I can start paying
for my part of the bills.

- Great.
- Wait, what?

I didn't plan on supporting a husband.
You gotta pull your weight.

I told you, I am still on my honeymoon.

We need money for food, rent.

Great. I could go get money

in 30 fucking seconds.

Legal money.

Look, they're hiring
over at my warehouse.

You could go over there today and apply.

Thanks, no thanks.

All right, if you don't
get a real job today,

you're not getting any more sex.

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, no, please.

I don't give a shit, man.

I don't need your disgusting-ass dick.

Ah, you guys been married
what, like, 50 years now?

- 5-0!
- Oh, fuck, it's the cops!

- Hey, I'm unarmed!
- Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

Ha, ha, ha, very funny, assholes.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'ma go load

these bad boys up with
armor-piercing rounds

so I can keep the mean streets safe

for fuck-heads like you guys.

Watch out, Chicago!

You're going down.

- Here you go, Kerm.
- Thanks, Kev.

May there be many more
where this comes from.

- Hey, Tommy.
- Kev.

- Kermit.
- Tommy.

Why are you two sitting so
far apart from each other?

- Social distancing.
- Take a beer, Kev.

Yeah, sure, of course.

Okay, call me when you have more.

Elijah from the dispensary

doesn't have weed either, Kev.

- Shit.
- Whole city's run out.

Another symptom of economic anxiety:

everyone's self-medicating.

Why are you two sitting apart?

- No reason.
- Nothing.

I think they're having a fight.

A fight? About what?

Saying something under your breath means

"keep it quiet."

Hello! I'm here.

Oh, Frank!

You gotta use the secret knock.

Oh, sorry.

Top of the morning to you.

So what you got for me to sample today

in the wonderful world of weed,

Master Kev, Mistress V?

What are... why are you
guys sitting so far apart?

One of you fart or something?

- Just because.
- Stop asking.

Jesus, fine.

Sit in your own stank, for all I care.

- They won't tell us either.
- Oh.

- Where are the goods?
- Sold out.

Impressive.

But our suppliers are
out of product now.

Ever since the 'rona,
there's been a rush on weed.

They were not prepared for the demand.

- Everyone's out.
- It's a blessing in disguise.

- Pot is dangerous.
- Amen to that.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That's impossible. There's no such thing

as a rush on weed. It's in abundance.

There's three different dispensaries

- we use for our product.
- They're all out.

Dispensaries?

You know what kind of
a markup they've got?

I can get you more product.

- Where?
- Yeah, illegal shit.

Marijuana's basically just a weed.

The government has no more right

to regulate it than they do sunflowers.

Or making us wear masks.

Exactly!

Don't worry. I can get you more product.

We can go in on this together, partners.

- Yes.
- No!

I am not going into the weed business

with Frank Gallagher.

Frank Gallagher's the best person to go

- in the weed business with.
- Shh.

I was whispering so that
means to talk quietly.

Well, now you know how it feels.

Veronica, I understand your reluctance.

I would feel the same if I were going

into business with me.

May I suggest we do a trial run today?

Give me a chance to prove myself.

I will find you weed,

I will teach you how to make
the best edibles in the city,

and then I will help
you sell those edibles

at a premium.

I was born to do this.

I've been training for
it my whole fucking life.

Frank Gallagher really is an
illegal drug connoisseur, V.

Fine, a trial run just for today.

Elijah should have some
legal product in stock

in a couple of days.

You will not regret this.

Oh.

Nah, it's...

Look at those virgins.

This is the freshest
meat I've ever seen.

Yanez, over here.

I'ma Denzel Washington your ass today.

Officer Tipping, Carl Gallagher.

I believe I'm your partner.

Stand down, son. No need for formality.

- Bring it in.
- Uh, really?

We've all been tested.
You wouldn't be here

if you were positive. Now bring it in.

Welcome to the Chicago police force.

All right, first thing we're gonna do:

we're gonna open up all the windows,

air out the house. That
way, we don't inhale

any of the fumes.

It's a good idea, right?

"Yeah, Daddy. You're brilliant."

I know. Then we're gonna count

all the mismatched light switches,

see which ones need to be replaced,

and I need you on bathroom tile duty.

Think you can do that for me?

Go through and see where
I need to add more grout.

"Yeah, Daddy." You can?

Well, that's great.
Thank you so much, buddy.

What the actual fuck?

Now you're probably wondering,

"Why do they call it 'More or Less'?"

- Here's why.
- Okay.

We're gonna start off

with these wireless speakers,

four of them.

$450.

Is the actual price

more or less than $450...

Who cares how much the speakers cost?

Just steal 'em.

Is... Is this a problem?

Okay.

I won't tell if you won't.

Shit, yeah.

Oh, come on, man. I
need more time than that.

What are you doing sitting on the couch?

Watching TV? Wasting your life?

I'm not wasting my life.

Do you even have a job?

Do you have a college degree?

No, you don't, do you? Why not?

'Cause everything's an
excuse with you, isn't it?

Why don't you mind your own
fucking business, Jerome?

"I'll apply to school next year."

What's wrong with right now?

Stop disappointing the people you love.

Get off the couch

and go make something of yourself.

All... all right, okay. Fuck.

- Consider me like your guardian angel.
- Fine.

You can thank me later.

Now call or email us today.

- Do it!
- Shut the fuck up, Jerome.

This stuff's all expired.

Toss it in the dumpster.

Those guys have it made, huh?

Sitting on their asses all day.

You're telling me.

You know they make
ten bucks more an hour

than we do, don't you?

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

How do I apply to be a forklift driver?

Well, you don't,

unless you're Black,

or you're Mexican,

or you got a twat between your legs.

You got a twat between your legs?

Uh, not the last time I checked.

The days are over when
guys like you and me

got all the opportunities
for advancement.

Sucks to be a white male
in America these days.

Life Saver?

- Huh?
- Wintergreen.

Yeah, sure.

So I made a list of
everything that I saw

in my neighborhood this morning.

Lot of illegal activity.

Guns, drugs, car theft.

You ever bite one of these in the dark

using your back teeth?

- Excuse me?
- The Life Saver.

Uh, no, not that I know of,

but I was thinking that
we could drive by the area.

You know, there's still probably

a lot of activity going on.

Maybe bust some heads

and drag some bangers
down to the station.

Makes a spark

when you bite the
Life Saver in the dark.

I do it for my kids sometimes.

They get a real kick out of it.

- You have kids?
- I'm 19.

About when I started.

I have a 17 year old gonna
start community college,

and twin eight year olds
with the second wife.

She's not much older than you.

You wanna check this
out, sir? You know...

take a look at the list for yourself?

Well, if you bust a
right down here on Cermak,

go down about three blocks,

you still might see
some of those guys...

Let me share some things with you, Carl.

I've been on the police force 15 years.

Do you know how many
times I've been shot?

- I don't know. Five?
- Zero.

Wait, you've never been shot?

Never been shot, never shot at.

You know why?

I don't leave the car.

Seriously?

Personal safety is no joking matter.

What if something's going on out there,

like, you know, the street?

Carl, we can do more
for the neighborhood

by staying right here inside this car

and being a presence.

So you're not gonna do anything
about those prostitutes over there?

Do you see blood?

- No.
- Anyone crying,

begging for their life?

Not that I can see.

Then we let them know we're here...

and we go on our way.

Okay.

Another Life Saver?

Are we seriously gonna buy illegal weed

from some random dude on the street?

They're not random.

That's Scotty in the beanie.

Lori L. on the stoop.

That guy doing ballet over there

- probably has some good stuff.
- Who, Herman?

Yeah, his product isn't bad,
when he has it.

Usually by mid-morning,
he's smoked it all up.

On disability. Got hit by an Uber.

Tiny Tod over there
has the cheapest weed,

but it's mostly stems.

I don't know about this.

These folks aren't doing any harm.

It's the law-abiding rich people

who decided to legalize marijuana

who are messing up a system

that's been in place for decades.

Trust me, these folks have good product.

Let's buy from Gina.

Who, Twitchy McGee?

Exactly. She's jonesing.

Probably H. She's desperate.

Has to score soon,

so she'll want to make a quick sale.

All right, I'm going in.

Cash, please.

Better not run away
with our money, Frank.

Veronica, please.

This is good.

This'll probably get us four ounces.

Then back to your place.

We'll cook up some goodies.

What happened?

We never talked about our split.

What split?

As business partners.

Temporary business partners.

I think 50/50's fair.

Sounds reasonable to me.

Fuck that. There's two of us

and one of you. A three-way split.

Sounds reasonable to me.

Got yourselves a deal. Partners.

Go get 'em, tiger.

Gina, did you miss me?

Ooh, they have tiaras and magic wands.

You guys, where are you?
They have fairy dust.

En garde!

Take that, bad guy.

Ah, this is my land.
You'll never win the battle.

Get her, Franny.

I got her! I got her!

Look, I can dress like a
unicorn princess for the party.

Huh?

Hi-yah!

Oh.

Hi, babe.

Uh, your sister is going
psycho for the princess crap.

Uh, hey. So, um, you know how you're mad

I'm spending a lot of money
we don't have on the house?

Yes. Accept defeat, warrior!

Well, someone broke
our two front windows.

What the serious fuck?

That's what I said.

How do we feel about this
mermaid princess look?

Uh, okay, so we gotta call the cops.

No, the cops won't do
anything about a broken window.

We'd have to lie and tell them

there was a murder or something.

Hey. Why are you hitting me?

She switched sides. Us against you now.

So I was thinking I'm gonna
change out the windows,

and, uh, I was actually
gonna replace them

- with double glaze anyway.
- Double glaze?

They more expensive than regular?

Okay, stop. This is the safe zone.

I am in the safe zone.
Do not come closer.

That sounds expensive, Lip. Is it?

Uh... a little bit. Not much.

Ugh, we gotta
stop hemorrhaging money.

Oh, come on!

I'm just saying we're spending...

No, no, no, I'm sorry.
I wasn't talking to you.

Someone just dumped a bunch of trash

in our new yard and in our planters.

Why?

I don't know. I don't see anyone.

It must've been some punk-ass kids.

I gotta put a sign
up, let people know...

a Gallagher lives here!

Then they won't mess with us anymore.

Yeah, okay.

Um, how's Fred?

Oh, uh, good.

Good. Happy. Good.

I gotta go. Bye!

- Bye.
- Okay, I found it.

I'll be a fairy princess for the party.

Isn't this the perfect dress?

So you worked five years at Home Depot,

three at Lowe's,

and served two active
duties in Afghanistan.

- Yep.
- Impressive.

Oh, shit.

Whoops. Uh, you forgot to put

your Social Security
number on the application.

Yeah, it's, uh,

three... seven... 22.

That's only four numbers.

How many is it supposed to be?

Why don't you just text it to me later?

- Yeah.
- So Mr. Milkovich,

let's do a little role-play.

Oh, I'm not into that shit anymore.

I got married.

No, no. Professional role-play.

- Oh, yeah.
- Let's say

you're working at the register.

I'm a customer who comes
in, and I wanna return a saw.

What are some questions
you might wanna ask me?

Okay. Uh...

How many times you use it?

Where'd you steal that from?

You think you can scam me?

You think I'm fucking stupid?

Is there blood on that shit?

Uh, not exactly what I was looking for.

Hey, okay. You know, hey.

I-I'm really good at scaring
the crap out of people,

so I can say whatever you want me to say

so people stop returning shit.

Good... good to know.

Maybe dealing directly
with the customers

is not the best job for you.

Look...

I-I really want to
make it work here, so...

W-w-what are they
doing? Can I do that job?

Oh, yeah. Inspecting
the expiration dates

on our stored food supply.

Anything doesn't meet our
high standard of freshness

is disposed of.

- So thrown out?
- That's right.

Why don't you just tell
me a little bit more

about yourself?

What assets do you think
you bring to the workplace?

Bro, I can bring whatever

you fucking want to the workplace.

I got, like... What... what do you need?

Glocks? Nunchucks? Fuck, I got bayonets.

I got whatever you want. I got you...

Or I know who does, okay?

I'm... I'm sorry, Mr. Milkovich.

I don't think this job's
the right fit for you.

What do you mean? I...

You know what? Goddamn right, it's not.

I don't need to be out here,
making minimum-ass wage,

tossing out perfectly good food,

getting blisters all over my hands

so I can clock out with
a bunch of fucking bozos,

go home smelling like
a rotten fucking pig.

This is your fault for
making me do this shit.

Fuck you, and fuck you,

and especially fuck you.

Shake that...

? Ass for me,
shake that ass for me ?

? Come on, girl ?

? Shake that ass for me ?

? Shake that ass for me ?

? Come on, girl, shake ?

? That ass for me ?

? Shake that ass for me ?

Okay, it's your part.

I'm a menace, a Dennis,
an oral hygienist

Open your mouth for
about four or five minutes

Take a little bit of fluoride with it

Swish but don't spit it

Swallow and I'll finish

Attention, all officers.

Thank God.

Damn, we almost got
through the whole thing.

That song makes me feel kind of badass.

- You too?
- Uh, sure.

Attention, all officers,
we have a 312 in progress.

- 700 block of Riverside.
- Hell yeah.

Convenience store robbery.

Four suspects, armed and dangerous.

Any and all officers in
the area, please respond.

It's go time.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, cowboy.
What are you doing there?

Have you learned nothing today?

We're so close.

No, no, no, there's officers
much closer than we are.

We're, like, two blocks away.

I've seen this before.
By the time we get there,

someone will have gotten shot,

and Homicide will take over the case.

So let's just stay out
of their crime scene.

But it's our duty to take the call.

Trust me on this one. We're partners.

Need to stick together,
be a united front,

have each other's back. Okay?

Okay.

You'll thank me one day.

Fucking bored shitless.

Now can we get back to our song?

Girl, shake that ass for me

Shake that ass for me

All due respect, Veronica,

your brownies were awful.

Really?

Did you fry the
marijuana in butter first?

No, she didn't.

What difference does that make?

It's the difference
between a ghetto pot brownie

and a culinary delight.

By frying the weed,

you activate the cannabinoids.

Here, stir this for me, will you?

Also, the lipids in the butter

bond with the weed to form

the perfect cannabis infusion.

Yeah, V.

Now, let's see how
our first batch looks.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, those smell amazing.

Eh?

Kev, my fine feathered friend,

I need you to cut that pan of brownies

into two-by-two squares.

Each square has to be
equal size and shape.

I want ten perfect brownies.

Aye-aye, captain.

That's $200 worth of heaven right there.

$200?

That's, like, a lot of
money for each brownie.

- 20 bucks a brownie, Kev.
- Holy shit.

The going rate is ten, Frank.

Nobody's gonna dish out 20.

That's because no one has tasted

Frank Gallagher's masterpiece

of psychedelic goodness yet.

I'll speak the truth even
if you never understand

Hey, Kendall. What can I do you for?

Back up. Keep your distance.

What's up?

Can't eat this crap
the lunch lady gave me.

How much for a peanut
butter sandwich, Liam?

Donations only. Whatever you got.

Um...

stole this Red Bull
from the corner store.

That'll work.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

This is not an open-air market.

It is a liability for you to sell food
on school property.

That's mine.

- I'm not selling it. Donating it.
- Well, you can't do that, either.

- What, share my lunch?
- No.

So it's okay for these
underprivileged kids

to starve because they don't want

to eat the slop you give them?

Until they pay their lunch debt,

that's all they get.

Now close it down.

Sorry, everyone.

Loraine won't let me donate
sandwiches to you anymore.

That sucks!

I know, I know.

It hurts me just as
much as it hurts you.

I didn't grow up with money, either,

but ever since I was a little kid,

it's been my passion to give to those

less fortunate than myself.

- Yeah!
- You're the man, Liam.

Please.

If I had extra money,

I'd give it to all my friends here

so they could buy hot lunch,

but since I don't,

I thought the next best thing would be

is to donate food from
my family's kitchen.

Yeah, Liam!

Please, please, please.

I'm just one man trying
to make a difference.

I won't take up any more of your time.

Bye, Loraine.

Go, Liam.

Now, who wants a sandwich?

This one is when the twins
dressed like salt and pepper

for Halloween.

The condiments, not the hip-hop group.

You do realize people just keep photos

on their phone now, right?

Ooh, I got some rumbles in my tumbles.

You hungry?

For police action.

What about for eggplant pea?

Best this side of Milwaukee.

- I guess.
- Let's do this.

Dispatch,

this is Officers Tipping and Gallagher.

Go for dispatch.

A concerned citizen just stopped us...

What are you talking
about? We've been at...

and reported a suspicious person

over on Hemlock Street.

We're gonna investigate.

Copy that.

Report back your findings
and if you need backup.

Will do.

What the hell was that all about?

Buys us more time for lunch.

Eggplant pea, here we come.

So let me get this straight.

We don't respond to
real crimes in progress,

but we do respond to fake crimes

that aren't even happening?

You're getting the hang of this.

This is so not what I signed up for.

Your tum-tum will thank me.

Right on time.

Nice truck, fatty.

Ding Dongs for a ding-dong.

Ugh, smelly fucking fat-ass.

I'm gonna get pinkeye

from all the farts in this thing.

Ugh.

Jack-fucking-pot.

Later, Jabba the Hutt!

Hey. Hey, hey!

Hey, get the door for
me, would you, Val Kilmer?

Asshole!

Did you and Tommy get in
a fight about something?

- Just drop it.
- Oh.

He owe you money?

Has for years, but that's not it.

What, did you wreck his car?

I wish it were something so simple.

- Yeah?
- Hi.

We heard you're selling edibles here,

and we were told to ask

for the marijuana magician.

Come on in! He's right here.

I'll show you to him.

Didn't catch your names.

Barry, and he's Ryan.

Sure.

The one and only Frank.

Have a seat, gentlemen.

How can the Frank help you today?

Selection looks impressive.

So what do you have here?

I've arranged my products

in descending order of THC.

Starting here at the top tier,

I call this "Can't-Get-Off-
The-Couch Cookie."

- Yowza.
- I don't want that.

I still need to do work every day.

Uh, you and me both, brother.

Continuing down the line,

we reduce the THC until we get

to the bottom shelf

and our homemade suckers,

which are basically all CBD.

What do you think is
best to give me a buzz

but also help my sciatica?

I would stick somewhere
here in the middle.

These chocolate walnut brownies

have the perfect amount of THC

to give you a little euphoria,

and the CBD

to relieve that pain in your ass.

Should we get two?

We're going to that
foam party this weekend.

- Let's make it four, then.
- Four it is. If you would pay

my sales clerks behind the bar,

I will bag these up for you.

Excellent, gentlemen.

Four brownies. So that's, uh...

$80.

Well, this is fucking vile.

Morning, Lip.

Hey, Marsha. How's Georgia doing?

Got into a bowl of butterscotch candy

I have out for guests.

Didn't you? Ate the wrappers and all.

That right?

I'll be picking up poopy
candy bits for days.

Hey, uh, you didn't see

who did any of this, did you?

What?

Oh, broke my front window,

you know, put all
this trash in the yard.

I thought the house
was always like this.

Yeah, when Mr. Shaw lives here,

but I've been trying to fix it up.

You buy the place?

No, just renting.

Spending a lot of
money if it's not yours.

Yeah, well, I want some
nice things in my life

for a change.

Well, good for you.

- Thank you.
- Da-da.

Hey, Marsha.

You see any punk-ass
kids running around here,

you let me know?

You got it, Lip.

Thanks.

Thanks, Ma.

Of course, sweetie.

Oh, that's Arthur

on his honeymoon with
his first wife, Nadine.

Oh, you people sure are
into hard copy photos, huh?

I loved Nadine.

I really do miss her.

Ma, she cheated on me,

with five different
police officers... five.

Well, she certainly had a type.

You gotta give her that.

Oh, Carl, can I give
you another serving?

Oh, no, Mrs. Tipping, I...

Oh, Rhoda.

You're part of the family now.

Okay. Uh, no thank you, uh, Rhoda.

I'm not too big on heavy lunches.

Besides, we gotta get
back out to the streets.

Oh, right, right, right, right, right.

Thanks for reminding me.

Dispatch, come in, please.

You've got dispatch.

This is Officer Tipping.
Officer Gallagher and I

have located the suspect,

and we are now proceeding
with questioning.

Copy that.

I am so proud of you, Arty.

- Oh, both of you.
- Mm.

Mm.

Family.

Goodbye, boys.

You know what I like
to do after a big meal?

Oh, I don't know. Do your job?

Catch some rapists?

Take a nap over at the Best Buy.

Have you ever sat in one

of the massage recliners
they have there?

No, but I'm sure I will now.

My lower lumbar could
really use some kneading.

Dispatch, the suspect has directed us

to an abandoned house

that has a suspicious
smell emanating from it.

Officer Gallagher and I
will investigate further.

Copy that.

Hey, it's starting to look

like a magic castle in here.

Or like a Care
Bear took a giant shit.

Or Strawberry Shortcake
fucked My Little Pony.

Yeah, or Glinda the Good Witch

just, like, projectile vomited...

Okay, I get it. Stop making fun of me.

This is gonna be the best party ever.

Yeah, for you.

What do you mean?
It's Franny's birthday.

You just seem a little more into it

than Franny does, babe.

That is so not true.
Franny's so into it.

I mean, what little girl
doesn't want a princess party?

I never wanted one.

Me neither.

I did.

Well, that explains it.

Explains what?

Why you're so obsessed
with all this shit.

I am not obsessed.

The magic wands don't go
there. On the coffee table.

Oh, okay. Sorry.

I just... I never got
the princess manual.

I was always into G.I. Joes
and shit when I was a kid,

so that's the kind of parties I had.

Yeah, well, every
birthday, one of my uncles

would just get me drunk
and let me shoot his gun.

The bounce house is here!

- Yes!
- Hell yeah!

Love a bounce house.

- Whoo!
- I've never been in one.

What?

Uh, none of the adults were sober enough

to make me a cake, never mind

get a bounce house.

You were seriously raised by wolves.

It's supposed to be a princess castle.

You sure?

Paperwork says Dracula's Lair.

Oh, she's sure.

Now why would I order Dracula's Lair

for a five-year-old
girl's birthday party?

I love it!

I need a princess castle.
Get me a princess castle.

Sorry, ma'am, we don't have
anything extra on the truck.

Well, this is the worst thing ever.

I think it's kind of cool. Come on!

It says "Bounce-ilvania," Debs.

What could be more fun than that?

Okay, all bets in?

Shit.

I got nothing. Pair of tens.

Full house. Sorry about that, boys.

Crap.

How is it the new kid always wins?

Beginner's luck.

Uh, yeah.

- Franklin Pierce...
- Loitering...

- James Buchanan...
- Littering.

- Abraham Lincoln.
- Actual B&E.

- Andrew Johnson.
- Defacing property.

Ulysses S. Grant.

Ah, shoot, I can't
remember who was next.

- Who's the 19th president?
- I don't know.

I didn't even know
there was 19 presidents.

- Pfft.
- Ah, more loitering.

Battery.

Oh, my God, what is that?

What? Where? What is it?

Go time, is what it is.

This car has a siren?

- Let's move it, people!
- And a megaphone?

Hang on, partner.

This is what I'm talking about!

Go.

Put these on.

What's going on? What's happening?

- Where are we going?
- Traffic light is out.

Good thing we were in the vicinity.

You stand on that side. I'll stay here.

Out of the road, asshole!

Yo, what up, Jose?

Looking good, man.

Yeah, you too. I'm not used to seeing

your cracker ass on
this side of the wire.

So what's this deal you got for me?

Right here.

A dumpster?

Man, what kind of idiot you think I am?

No, no, ain't like
that. Look, check it out.

Boom!

Damn.

Uh-huh. I told you.

Wait, what is all this?

It's food. The fuck you think it is?

No, I mean, where did you get it?

Difference does that
make? I got it, didn't I?

- I could really use some of this shit.
- Uh-huh.

Pasta, oatmeal...

flour.

How much you want?

Hey, for you, give you a good price.

Wait a minute. This is expired.

- So what?
- It says 2019.

It's fucking pasta, man. Doesn't go bad.

Yeah, well, I hate
the guys in this joint

just as much as anybody, but
I'm not trying to give them

salmonella or some shit.

Will you quit being a bitch?
Those dates don't mean shit,

and you know it.

You... you're a fucking asshole.

Hey, a'ight, man. Whatever.

No problem.

All good.

Got plenty other cooks out there

willing to take this off my hands for...

oh, half what they usually
pay for their bulk items.

Charge their boss the same amount,

and guess what? They
just pocket the rest.

Uh-huh. You interested now.

Ah, there you go.

Hmm.

All right.

There you go, Framingham.

Oh, gee, thanks.

Pretty boy.

Thanks.

Hey, uh, you want to
get a couple of drinks,

piss away our paychecks?

Ah, not tonight. Thank you.

- All right, suit yourself.
- Yeah.

Hey, George. Hey, wait up.

What's going on?

Who do I talk to about a
mistake with my paycheck?

Oh, let me see this.

What's the mistake?

Look at here. It says I worked 39 hours.

I worked 45. I should
be getting overtime.

Yeah, that's what they do.
They dock you for lunch,

the time it takes to go to the head,

anything to keep it under 40 hours.

- You serious?
- Yeah.

That way, they don't
have to give you benefits.

- They get away with that?
- They do.

Oh, even at 39 hours,
the money's not adding up.

Ah, dude, they take
out all kinds of crap.

Locker fees, safety vests, you name it.

It's usually about four months

before you're even
getting a full paycheck.

Welcome to a working
man's America, Kemosabe.

Yo, Gallagher, how'd it go today?

Damn, what happened to you?

Broke his cop cherry.

Best day of my life. Kicked so much ass.

- Jesus.
- Senior officers

are taking us to the cop
bar across the street.

Celebrate you tadpoles
becoming real women.

Hell yeah. I'm in.

Hey, you not coming?

Gotta see the fam.

Yeah, don't even bother
with Lady Arthur over there.

He's allergic to fun.

Hurry up and get changed, Gallagher.

Meet us over there.

I suggest you get some rest, Carl.

Hey, why would I get some rest?

We didn't do shit today.
All we did was rest.

I wanted to have an action-packed day

like Yanez did,

not sing along to Eminem.

A security guard would've
had more fun than we did.

But I put up with it. Know why?

Because you said we gotta
have each other's backs,

be a united front. I
was bored shitless today.

I don't care, 'cause I wanna be
the best partner that I can be.

So the least you can do
is walk across that street

and buy me a damn drink.

All right, partner. One drink.

Damn.

Your partner seems pretty wild.

Yeah, first I've seen that.

Oh, shit. I think he's married.

Oh, that's okay. Tina doesn't care.

So first day, huh?

Yeah. What do you do?

I'm over at the leather factory.

Mm. Like coats and stuff?

No, not as glamorous.

We make bullet bags and rifle slings.

It sucks. I stink like cow shit

and chemicals all the time. Smell me.

Uh, well...

Yeah, smell... Smells great to me.

Aw, you're sweet.

If I'm still at the
factory in five years,

I give you permission to shoot me.

- Okay.
- No, seriously.

Take that big old gun
of yours and shoot me.

And what would you
rather be doing instead?

Mm, marry a cop,

be his wife,

- have a bunch of his kids.
- Uh...

Don't worry, bunny.
We're just having fun.

So why'd you want to be po-po?

Um, you know, make a difference,

do something for the community,

be a part of the solution.

- Uh, when I was a kid...
- Wanna fuck?

- Wait, what?
- Come on.

Okay.

Oh, leave it. We'll be right back.

Your place close?

Yeah, but we're not going there.

Me and my ex still live together.

Randy, guard our drinks.

Let's go.

Where are you guys going?

Bathroom. Come with?

- Want to?
- No.

Yes. Absolutely.

I can't believe we sold
all that product in one day.

Ye of little faith.

No one even flinched at the high prices.

Guys, weed is in my blood,

literally and figuratively.

I know the business inside and out.

Guess you were right, Frank.

I don't hear that often enough.

We made $3,400.

- What?
- Course we did.

Mm, mm, mm, that's $1,133 apiece.

Take your pile.

Oh, it's been lovely
doing business with you.

- Shall we do it again tomorrow?
- I don't see why not. V?

Until our suppliers are
back up and running, sure.

Excellent.

I shall see you bright and early...

and by that, I mean noon.

And I liked helping you out today

with your emergency,

but the trial run is over.

From this point going forward,

the cut will be 60/40. I'm the 60.

- Seems fair to me.
- No way.

I got the raw materials.
I did the manufacturing.

You were simply the retail.

Toodle-oo.

And whatever you guys are going through,

you gotta kiss and make up.

Oh, God! Oh, God!

Feel good, baby?

I feel... yes, baby feels very good.

Hey, can you guys keep
it down in there, please?

Yeah, yeah, sure, bud.

My... my legs are
kind of getting wobbly.

If you put one foot up on the toilet,

it usually works better.

Oh, wow, what are you doing to me?

- Want me to stop, Arthur?
- No, no, no.

There you go. That's better, right?

I guess. I'm a little distracted,

but I'm fine.

You get used to these close quarters.

- You've done this before?
- Yeah, dozens of times.

Oh.

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes.

Okay, I gotta stop. I'm sorry.

This is getting a little weird.

Really?

What the hell? What's going on in there?

I think he's dead.

My vagina killed him.

Whoa.

Fuck, Arthur.

Shit.

Another mom said her kid
can't come to the party.

It might have something to do
with your ankle bracelet, babe.

Well, whatever. That's too bad.

We don't need Franny's school friends.

We'll still have fun.

Okay, everybody grab your song lyrics.

It's time to sing the princess song.

Kay, Franny.

Sit right here. Kay.

Okay.

One, two, three.

? I want to be a princess ?

? You can be a princess ?

? We can all be princesses ?

? In a fairy tale ?

? Sing and dance and twirl around ?

? Spinning in a ballroom gown ?

? We can all be princesses ?

? In a fairy tale ?

Ho, ho, ho! Happy birthday, Franny.

Look what I bought you.
These are from me, okay?

Only me, your favorite uncle.

- Yay, guns!
- Guns!

That is not a princess gift.

- Tough titties.
- Let's play!

You got it, kid.

The boys

Okay, shoot!

- No, no, Uncle Mickey!
- Sorry, Debs.

No, no, go ahead,
go ahead, shoot me...

I'm gonna get you!

Blow my brains
out, kid. Come on.

- Okay, okay.
- Go ahead.

I got you,
you're dead! I shot you!

- Yeah.
- Watch your step.

Oh, shit.

I'm really sorry again, sir,
that you had a heart attack.

You know, I somehow feel responsible.

Maybe you shouldn't had
all those pitchers of beer.

Well, back at it again in
the morning, right, sir?

Or... maybe not.

Oh, God.

I ate too much cake.

Oh, yeah, I didn't go anywhere
near that pink frosting shit.

Hey, what kind of party
you think Fred's gonna want

when he's older?

A Terminator party.

Why? Is that what you wanted

when you were a kid?

- Yeah?
- Maybe.

Hey! Yo, hey, whoa!

Whoa, what the hell?

- Marsha?
- Lip.

What, you fucked up our house before?

The three of us.

Why?

You're making your house look too good.

So?

Our property tax will go up.

What, because we
planted a couple flowers?

And put in new windows and mulch,

cleaned up the trash.

People are gonna wanna
do the same as you.

White folk will drive around the city

looking for a new place to live,

never imagine themselves down here.

Then they see your
house, call the realtors.

Rent will go up.

Property tax.

We've been here our whole lives,

and now we're being pushed out.

Where will we go then?

Franny did not like her party.

Yeah, not so much.

You were right. I mean...

I only did this for myself.

I just... I always dreamed
of having a princess party

as a kid.

I'm sorry, babes.

Not that I would do it
differently or anything.

Really?

I mean, fuck no. It's like,

Franny's only five.

It's not like she's gonna remember

any of this shit.

Even if she does, a little
bit of disappointment

is good for her.

I mean, I would do anything
for that kid, but...

sometimes I just...

it's gotta be about me.

Wow, it gets sketchy here at night.

Yeah, we should probably go home.

She's down there. Come on.

- You sure about this?
- Fuck Frank.

Why should we give him 2/3 of our money?

'Cause he's our partner.

We can do everything he did.

I'm not sure I can make
those pineapple lollipops.

Go, ask.

Hey, um, how you doing?

We're looking to, um, buy some weed...

Ganja, smoke, marijuana.

- Kev...
- I know you?

- No.
- Yeah, you do.

Our friend was here earlier.

I should say our
partner. Frank Gallagher?

Sorry, I don't got nothing.

What, seriously?

You know anyone else who's selling?

- Nope.
- Come on, how's that possible?

That's because I bought
it all from her...

with my earnings from today.

- Hey, Frank!
- Hey.

I wanted to get a jump
start on tomorrow's work.

Little did I know my partners

would be going behind my back.

Just for the record, I
was hesitant about this.

I think from now on,

our cut's gonna be 70/30.

I'm the 70.

Guess the interview didn't go so good?

Nah. I don't do normal.

It's boring as fuck, man.

I don't want to end up
a monkey like you anyway.

Just trying to be a mature adult.

- That's all.
- Well...

I, uh, like doing things my way.

So we gonna fuck, or what?

Nope.

You didn't get a real job.

Fine by me, man. See if I care.

In fact,

I might just jerk off with all my money.

Yeah. Come here, guys.

Mm...

Mm, mm, yeah.

Ooh, yeah, come here.

Suck that dick, Benjamin Franklin.

Come on now.

Got a little three-way with...
Whoever the fuck that is.

Mm, mm. Yeah, you like that?

What if we, uh, add...

Hey, fuck off, George Washington,

cheap-ass motherfucker.

Oh, I like that.

Uh-huh, keep going.

God, money really does
buy happiness, huh?

We really have to do this?

Yes, we have to maintain
a negative curb appeal.

But I love our house.

Hey, me too. I wanna stay in it

with you and Fred forever.

Well,

what do you think?

Nice.

How about mine?

Wow.

That's perfect. You did good

for the neighborhood, babe.

Anything to help our family.

Even a giant squirting penis.

Exactly.

Muah.

- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --