All language subtitles for Nobody Walks in L A 2016 1080p WEB-DL Eng

- hey.

- Hi.

- Thanks
for coming over,

ugh, I need a tap out.

- Yeah, I don't doubt it.

- He's been on a
bender since Tuesday.

- No, they haven't
talked, he's just a mess.

- Are his parents here?

- No, they're out of town.

You got the place
all to yourself.

- Oh, yeah, no, I'm not
staying inside all day

with captain Morgan.

- It's good to see your face.

We should hang out more,
like the good old days.

Alright, good to see you.

- Yeah, you too.

Miles?

Miles?

- Becca, what are
you doing here?

- Nice to see you too, miles.

- Yeah, well, you really
mastered the art of laying low.

- Well, the last
few months have been

really crazy for me.

- Is this your old room?

It's looks different.

- Yeah, my parents turned
it into a guest room.

- It's very Hilton-esque.

- Thanks.

- I mean that in
like, a nice way.

Like an upscale Hilton.

You know, not like
a Hilton express.

Okay, dude, time to get up.

- Ah!

- You look pathetic,
so we need to go outside.

- Yeah, you are,
'cause I'm in charge

and there's lots of sharp
objects and pills everywhere,

so, let's go.

- Becca, I appreciate the love,

but I'm not in the mood.

- You got 10 minutes.

- I'm not going.

- Yes, you are.

- Dude, stop feeling
sorry for yourself.

This room fucking stinks
and you look like shit,

so put some pants
on and let's go.

- Becca, I love you, fuck off.

- For you
to leave me alone?

- You need some happy sad music.

- Happy sad music,
musically it's uplifting

and lyrically, it makes you
want to rip your heart out.

It makes you feel
better about being sad.

Really miles,
"un-break my heart"?

Ooh, here you go.

- Stop.

- get up, get up,
get up, get up.

- Stop.

- Get up.

Okay, you are wearing
pants.

- Cathy's?

- Mimosa actually sounds
pretty good about now.

Is this your car?

- Yep.

- You getting in?

- Nope.

- Nobody walks anywhere.

- Exactly.

- I don't wanna walk.

- Dude, it's five blocks.

- I'm still
hungover from last night.

- Whiner.

- Are you fuckin'
serious with this parking job?

Probably should walk,

wait up!

- Do you remember the
day we met, miles?

- Can I buy a vowel, i
think I'm still hungover

from last night.

- It was the
first day of school.

- You remember what
we did, Bueller?

- Oh my god, stop doing that.

We ditched school, we walked
around, we went bowling.

- Exactly, well, we're gonna
do the same thing today.

well, actually, i
could go bowling later,

I don't have any socks with me,

- The point is,
we're gonna take the day,

walk around and
talk our shit out.

- Our shit, what's your
shit, I know my shit.

- You first.

in two weeks and
now I don't know

what the fuck I'm going to do.

Can you top that?

- Not this year.

- Didn't think so

- What's your shit?

- My shit.

I think I might
move to New York.

- I know, well, do you
remember my friend Erin?

art gallery since college,

we'll sell our own
art, we'll sell other

people's art, we'll give classes

and we'll do like a
community art project thing.

so, now is the time.

I think I'm gonna do it.

- You do realize how insane
of an idea that is, right?

- Thanks, miles.

- I mean, the only, the
one percent are even

spending any money on art,
it's not community art.

- Well, I'm glad somebody
else is on the same page.

- Oh and I have to let
her know by tomorrow

wanna rush into.

we've been working on
it for over a year.

We just found the perfect place

and we have to let
them know by tomorrow

if we want to do the
down payment, so.

- Yeah, 'cause there's
like a real lack of rundown

commercial space in New York.

- Wow, why do you care
if I move to New York?

- I don't care.

It would be weird
not having you here.

- Sweet.

- So, now I have to figure
out my life's course

in Brooklyn said I need
my money by tomorrow?

- What is that?

- It was just slumlord.

- Yeah, pretty much.

I'm gonna go to
sleep, wake me up when

you know your life's course.

- What is this,
what's happening?

This isn't the miles I know.

- The miles you know
had a really rough week.

- Do you remember why that
day was so awesome, miles?

- No.

about new teachers and
classes and new friends,

we just, we hit pause
and walked around

and we talked shit out
and we took it all in.

- Went bowling.

- Played skee ball.

- Yes.

- God, I miss playing skee ball.

- The app's not, it
doesn't feel the same.

Life was still there
for us 24 hours later.

- It was.

- It's a different day, but
it's the same situation.

- Come on, do it today,
today, me and you, today,

come on, are you in?

Are you in?

- One second.

Hi.

- Miles, honey, I've
called Sam's parents

and we've set up a pow-wow
for tomorrow evening

so we can all just sit down
and sort this out together.

- A pow-wow?

You're not supposed
to be back from

that the wedding we've
already invested $20,000 in

might be cancelled.

- Yeah, um, I'm sorry,
i just, I don't know

how I feel right now.

- Miles, this is not
about you anymore,

so if you're splitting, we
need to remove the emotion.

- Your father and I are
coming back for this, alright?

We're a team, we'll
work it out together.

- Alright, mom, mom, I just-

- okay, no more
arguments, alright?

No more arguments, we love you,

we're here for you,
we'll see you tomorrow.

- Okay.

- Everything okay?

- Amazing.

- So are you in?

- No.

Are you in, are you in,
are you in, are you in?

- Stop tickling me.

Yeah, I'm in.

- Really.

Okay, here are the rules.

- Really, there's rules?

You always do that.

You need to tell me the
rules before I decide on it.

- Well, you
already agreed, so sorry.

- This is
so fucking stupid,

- Okay, the rules are,
we do everything the way

that we did them in high school.

- I'm not
wearing cargo shorts.

- Thank god.

we didn't have cars, so
there's no driving today.

- That's a loaded question,
you got rides in high school.

- Shut up.

Then yes, we can get rides.

- Is that it?

- Uh, no cellphones.

- Dude, we're not checking
them all day, come on.

- Same time.

- What about my iPod?

- Your iPod?

- Yeah.

- You have an iPod?

to see you rock a boombox
on your shoulder all day,

your second iPhone will be fine.

- You're a match.

- You wanna talk about it?

- No.

- Cool, so what else is
going on in your life?

- Um, she gets home from
work on Tuesday night

and I had already
had like a suspicion

that she had been
reading my diary.

What?

- You have a diary?

- Yeah.

Are you trying to
make me feel better?

by the spine and a
couple times I saw it

in the middle.

- Wow, Nancy drew
is on the case.

What, were you
fighting or something?

but some days, it just
seemed like she was

I just didn't think
anything had gone that far.

- Right, so it's weird
'cause she's being distant.

- Yeah, yeah, but
i just didn't think

it had gotten extreme.

- So what happened?

- She denied that
she read my journal

and I told her she was lying.

- Ah, that's bold.

- Yeah.

laces into me about how
like, I can't trust her

and how fucked up
that is that I can't

drive her crazy and then
she decides to tell me

that she's, that
she cheated on me.

- Holy shit.

- Yeah, fucking sucked.

I was blown away and I'm like,

you're lying about that.

wait, how did you know
she read your diary?

- 'Cause I read her diary.

- Miles.

- So, did she write anything
about his guy in the diary?

- No.

- Can I get
you something to drink?

- Coffee, please.

- Yeah, and can I have
a coffee and a water.

- Yep.

- And a diet coke?

- Okay.

- And a chocolate milkshake.

- Okay.

- And a mimosa.

Just bring 'em all
out as they're ready.

- So, what'd you do when she
told you she cheated on you?

- Freaked out, I mean, it's
like all my worst fears

coming true.

like my parents, you know,
like they fight, they bicker,

like everybody else,
but underneath it all,

there's like this
love and respect

and like a genuine friendship,

I don't know if
we ever had that.

So, I left the apartment

and I've been home ever since.

- And you haven't talked to her?

- She called, but she
didn't leave a message.

- You didn't call her back?

- I don't know if I'm
ready to talk to her.

- Miles.

Trust me, it's for the best.

- It is, you didn't
seem too thrilled

about whoever it was
you were talking to

on the way over
here, who was that?

- My mom.

- Oh, how's she doing?

- She and my dad are coming
home from vacation early,

tomorrow, and they've
already had a talk with

Sam's parents and we're having
a pow-wow to talk it out.

- Wow, that's a thing
that's gonna happen?

but she had a lot of
money had been invested

in the wedding and it was about
more than just me and Sam.

- Damn, those Jews
know how to guilt.

- Yeah, oh, perfect timing.

Champagne, morning
beverage of life, cheers.

- L'Chaim.

- Thanks, my coffee?

- No, trust me, it's
better this way.

- I'm gonna go
pee outta my dick.

- Is there any other way?

- Outta my butt?

- That's gross and unnecessary.

so I could put you on the
vip guest list if you want.

- Yeah, you
wanna come pick me up?

on San vincente, but
I'll be finished around

eight o'clock, so you
can pick me up there.

I haven't had a breakout
in like, a week.

- {Hollywood douche
bag] Great, yeah, I see

what's going on here.

- Don't be silly,
protect your Willy.

Thanks for brunch, miles.

- Thanks for
getting me out of the house.

- So, I have
to stop by the gallery

to pick up my check, can
you find something there

- Ugh, art,
sounds depressing.

- Miles, it's Sam, your fiance,

um, look I really fucked up,

please call me, i
don't know why you're

not answering my phone calls,

but it's really
important that we talk.

- Yo.

- Good call on the happy
sad music, it works.

- Nwa, "i ain't the one".

Did you do what you had to do?

- Yeah, my boss is such a bitch.

- Why?

- She's cutting
like, half my shifts.

- New York's looking
good about now.

- Better every second.

What do you think it's called?

- Fuck you, bitch.

- Definitely,
definitely, I mean it's

obvious the artist came
home from a vacation

in a fancy European castle
he took his girl to,

she was like a bitch
the entire time,

they ended up breaking up and
then he came home to America.

He painted the castle.

- It's called "so this
is love" and it is

sleeping beauty's
castle at Disneyland,

which is literally the
happiest place on earth.

- Hmm, so you're
looking at the painting.

See, I'm kind of looking
beyond the painting,

at the subtext.

- Subtext, right, yeah.

What about this one?

- Hmm, it's vagina.

It's a vagina he's
never gonna have again

and this girl cheated on him,

he's left, he's over it

and now it's just a dusty,
locked away closed vag.

- Uh, this one is
called "donazione"

and it is Michelangelo
the day before

he starts painting
the sistine chapel.

It represents, you know,
possibilities are endless,

with a open heart,
the masterpiece that

you can create with love.

- I don't see Michelangelo.

- He's right there in the
middle, holding a paint can.

- Eh, once again, the subtext.

Oh, what about this one?

- He's being sarcastic.

or like a happy face
or something, you know?

- This is where
i hide on my lunch break.

- It's
all so subjective,

like who decides what's good art

and what's bad art?

- We do.

- Maybe you do, working in that

fancy schmancy gallery, not me.

- No, I mean, you decide
whether you like it or not.

Just because it's in
a museum or a gallery,

it doesn't mean that
it's good or bad.

You have to decide if
you like it for yourself.

- Yeah, but it's
not about talent.

It's like more important to be

a good salesman
than a good artist.

- Isn't that true
about everything in life?

- I hope not, i
suck at selling myself.

- No, i
don't care, I don't care.

Tell that bitch mother of yours

to get here, i
don't care, traffic,

we know there's traffic
in Los Angeles, sweetie.

We know that, but i
need you here now.

Now, I've got a meeting with
Zack efron in 10 minutes, baby.

No, no you can't meet him!

- That's the exactly
the reason I never

want to be good
at selling myself.

Guy's a complete douche.

- Yeah, I know, that's
why I don't wanna

- Yeah, but that
guy's not from la.

He's a transplant.

People from la
are actually cool.

after watching too much
swimming with sharks

and entourage, they think
you have to be a complete

asshole to make it in
la, but really they're

have like a, vision and
a decent moral compass.

- Isn't Sam from la?

- So?

- She's really cool,
miles, have you thought

about maybe trying
to work it out?

I've thought about everything,
i can't stop thinking,

the problem is, i
don't know what I want

and I haven't spoken to her,

and honesty, I don't even
know if I care what she wants.

I kinda wanna know what I want

before I talk to her.

- It makes sense.

- You can't answer it.

- Don't want to.

- Hello,
hey, there you are,

this is dad, uh, boy
am I sorry that I

screamed at you so much
on the phone earlier.

I didn't mean to be that loud,

I just was a little
bit more than surprised

that you were suddenly
gonna move to New York

and leave your job here,

so anyway, just
give me a call back

and we can discuss, sorry,

it just doesn't make
a lot of sense to me.

So, bye.

- Shouldn't we be
a little more low profile?

- Always a
sketcher in every group.

- You know, it's like the
first rule of smoking weed

is every group has
somebody who completely

bugs out, I knew it
wasn't gonna be me.

- I'm just saying, we're not
even pretending to hide it.

- But that's what
they expect you to do.

You know, if you're just like,
walking around in public,

in the middle of the
day smoking weed,

but if you're like, you know,
hiding behind a dumpster,

like tucked down in some
shrub, it looks shady,

plus it's practically legal.

- I can't believe
you're a teacher.

- Believe it.

- We need a new mission.

- How about we go
around Los Angeles

and we try and find the
most beautiful thing

we've never seen.

- Way too upbeat
for me right now.

- Okay, I'll look
for the most beautiful

thing and you look
for the ugliest.

- Now we're cookin' with gas

this is for both of us, thanks.

- Oh, man.

doesn't mean we can't
smell your fart.

I actually can't
smell it anymore.

Just kidding.

What's his name?

- Uh, his name is Eric
Abrams, but his friends

call him gabrams.

- Oh, he does valet
down at the biltmore,

but he's an aspiring barista.

- Place of origin?

- Duh, Florida.

- Let's check it out.

- No!

- Where you from?

- Huh?

- Where you from?

- Houston.

- Oh, that's cool.

- Is it?

- Uh, I guess not.

- Do we have any
other questions?

- What are you listening to?

- Dude, you really care?

- Are they good?

- Yeah.

- Nice fart by the way.

- Thank you.

- Oh god, it's so
gorgeous out today.

- Are you really ready to move?

New York's freezing.

Everybody just complains
about the weather there,

- I know, I know, but
I've been talking about it

forever and I feel like
if I don't actually do it

I'm just gonna
always be a talker.

- You gotta be smart about it,

you can't be like,
i have to decide

- I am miles, I've been
talking about it forever.

- So then what's
the debate about?

- Honestly, my dad and you
guys, you know, my friends.

- What'd your dad say?

what about your savings,
where are you gonna live,

blah blah blah,
it's just ,

you know, he's never say it
but he'd be lonely without me,

you know, I take care of him.

- Does he ever get out?

- Yeah, he's gone
on a few dates,

I don't know, I think it's
hard for him, you know

because it feels like
he's cheating on my mom.

- That sucks.

- Yeah, it's hard.

Sometimes he calls me
by her name by accident.

- How are you holding up?

- Depends, sometimes
i wake up and I forget

that she's gone.

Can we talk about
something else?

- Oh, yeah, sorry.

It's still really not
proper stoner talk.

Ugliest thing in la,
let's go, found it.

Ugliest thing I've
never seen in la,

nickelback at the wiltern.

- I wonder how
Beck feels about that,

he's playing on Friday.

- Probably the same way
gene Kelly, frank Sinatra,

Judy garland feel,
they're all rolling over

in their graves.

They used to run this
street back in the day.

All the Hollywood big wigs,
they lived around here.

My dad grew up around here.

Quality time with
my dad would be him

taking me around all
the neighborhoods,

explaining the history,
the architecture.

That and watching Rogers
and hammerstein musicals.

- You must have
tried with all your might

- Wasn't easy,
still doubt it sometimes.

singing alone to
Whitney Houston.

- "How will I know", "i
wanna dance with somebody".

the late, great
Whitney Houston, rip.

What was down here,
wasn't it the ams-thing.

- And the coconut girl, right?

- Yeah, they built a 600
million dollar high school.

- Yeah, yeah, let's
just tear down a really

important piece of la history,

lay off thousands of
teachers during a depression

and built a 600 million
dollar high school.

We love it!

Where bing Crosby first sang,

where Marilyn Monroe
first signed a contract

to become a model, where Robert
Kennedy was assassinated.

Now the most expensive school
in the history of America.

- That building
better be able to fly.

for 600 million dollars,
our system is so fucked.

- Bet the sloppy Joe's
are off the chain.

- Whatever, I'm
just a cog in the wheel.

I stopped practicing
law because I actually

wanted to try and
help people but,

sometimes I feel like
teaching's no better.

- What, your kids
love you, miles.

- Yeah, but they can't fire
the old shitty teachers,

which is why I might not
have a job next year.

ream out a kid if they're
two seconds late for class,

but they won't just
pull him aside,

have a conversation
if he's flunking.

- They fired everyone under
me, so I would be next.

- Oh, god, I know it's hard.

It's really important
that there's teachers

who actually care.

get into teaching if you
don't like kids, you know?

I mean, I feel like sometimes,

my kids are the only
people I believe in.

- What's up, fag?

- Fuck you, you little shit.

- Too bad your
girlfriend doesn't know

that you're a fag.

- Too bad I'm not
his girlfriend.

- She does know he's a fag.

- Couldn't you have
been my girlfriend

- Oh, sorry, I can be your
girlfriend for two seconds.

- Whatever, I take it
back, fuck kids too.

- Yeah, fuck kids.

Man, you held your own though.

Even though nickelback at
the wiltern is hideous,

it can't be used for the
ugliest thing in Los Angeles.

at the witern, it has
to be something you've

never seen before.

- That sucks.

- Game's still on.

- It's weird, how many
people do you think

what kind of crazy shit
used to go down here?

- Um, not a lot.

- It's like this entire
area has had it's history

completely erased,
does anybody care?

- Jesus, miles,
yes, people care.

Do the people of koreatown
care, no, probably not.

putting food on the
table and cheap rent.

- Koreans and
Mexicans don't care

about history and culture, wow,

there's nothing worse than a
well intentioned white person.

- I'm just saying,
not everyone in la

grew up with a dad who was
trying to turn them gay.

- You know, I'm just
saying, why make history

if no one's gonna remember it?

- Do you need a hug?

I feel like you need a hug.

- I do, a
hug would be nice.

- Miles, it's not up to you
or I to save history today.

Let's leave that up
to the la conservancy,

they can be pissed about it.

We've got too much
on our plates.

- I'm a member of
the la conservancy.

- Oh, of course
you are.

- Eric is calling?

- Interesting.

- I'll let you answer
it if you let me

check my messages.

- No phones today.

- Who is he?

- Just a guy that I was seeing.

- What happened?

- Nothing,

uh, I don't know, I kind of
flaked on him a few times

and he was really nice about it

and I should give him a
call when I wanted to rock.

- He actually told
you to call him

when you wanted to rock?

That's awesome.

Did you call him?

- No, I respect the move though.

- I respect the move,
i wanna call him

- It's all about the
timing, you know?

Sometimes if things are
a few months earlier

or a few months later,

everything would
turn out differently,

but, if the timing's off,
then the timing's off.

- Did you see
Jeremy this morning?

- Yeah, I saw him for a minute.

- Oh, god, we're fine,
whatever, it's cool.

- He still talks
about you a lot.

- Well, good for him.

This morning he said, "we
should hang out like old times."

- Wow.

- You're not still
interested are you?

Yeah, I can't wait
to have his babies.

- How'd you forgive him?

- The first time?

- The first time I pretended
like it never happened.

- Yikes, that's hard.

- The second time,
i dumped his ass

and had sex with someone
with a much bigger dick.

- So, I have to find a
woman with like a much

bigger vagina?

- No, opposite.

- It doesn't work.

- Tighter.

- Tighter is more revenge.

- The tighter the better.

- Hey, he doesn't
know that you're the one

who told me that he was
cheating on me, right?

- God, no, I hope
not, I mean, I never told him.

oh, I said I could
see it in your eyes.

I just stared at them and
said it like four times

until he started to cry.

He thinks I have esp.

- He totally does, that's it.

He keeps telling
me that he knows

that you know that
he's thinking about you

you're gonna come back.

- Stop it.

Tool.

- Have any other
guys in your life

other than rockin' Eric?

- No, not really.

You know,
relationship's are hard.

- Tell me about it,
women are crazy.

- Not what I meant.

- Oh, well, it's true.

- Nice, what did you mean
Becca, oh, thank you miles.

What I meant was I'm
super picky, you know,

and I know pretty quickly if I'm

and if I'm not, I don't wanna
waste their time or mine.

because it's convenient
or they're lonely.

I don't want that to be me.

- So you knew that
you weren't into Eric?

- No, no, not necessarily.

- Yes, miles I'm giving
myself the chance.

- Here you have a guy
who says the most awesome

thing ever, call me
when you wanna rock,

and you don't call him,
he obviously like you

and this is the same guy you
just said two seconds ago

you didn't know if
you liked him or not,

so how's that giving
yourself a chance?

- I don't know miles, you know,

I've got a lot on
my plate right now.

I'm moving to New York
maybe and I'm dealing

with my dad, I just
feel like it went from

taking care of my mom
to taking care of my dad

and I don't have the
time or energy to

take care of somebody
else right now.

taking care of each other.

- Really, relationship advice?

- Yeah, i
guess I should talk.

- I hear what you're
saying, I get it,

it's just, I don't know,

a relationship seems daunting.

- I haven't been single
long, that seems daunting.

- Do me a favor, if you
get back together with Sam,

just don't do it because
you're afraid of being alone.

I mean, you just turned 30,
your values going way up,

mine's going in the
opposite direction.

- Your aura's off.

- Yeah, I've had kind of
like a rough week, so.

- Not you, her.

- Oh, you're talking about her?

I agree.

- What's wrong with my aura?

- Beets.

- Beets, you need
to eat more beets.

They're magical.

- Beets.

- Beets.

- Thank you.

- What about mine?

- You're cool, man, good vibes.

- Thanks, man.

- Ugh.

- Yeah, I don't know
about that, thank you.

- Beets.

- Beets.

Where are we headed?

- The beet
store, obviously.

- Blow me.

Where'd you go?

- It's weird, it's
like, she was the one,

she was the one I was
going to spend the

rest of my life with, you know?

A couple weeks ago,
everything was fine,

now, it's not like i
think there's one person

out of six billion that
i could be happy with,

there's not a lot
of girls out there

that aren't crazy.

- Everybody's crazy, miles.

People who aren't a little
bit crazy are boring.

You just have to find someone
who's your type of crazy.

- Sam was my kind of crazy.

- How so?

- She can like, shotgun
a beer faster than I can,

she could speak
intelligently about every

proposition in the
upcoming election.

She knew every word
to "regulators".

She makes me laugh.

- So, the question is then,

can you still trust her?

- I don't know.

- That's what you
gotta figure out.

- I'm pathetic.

- I read her fucking diary,
like, how sad is that?

If I just didn't do that,

everything would
be fine right now.

- It's not your
finest moment, miles,

but, we've all
done stupid things.

I mean, you had a feeling
that something was wrong

and you were right.

- I gotta give her credit,

she puts up with
a lot of my shit,

I come home and i
wake her up for sex,

sweat profusely, I've got hair.

- Okay, okay, okay, you're
literally describing

every non-homosexual
man there is,

so, let's not give her
props for liking men, okay?

- Yeah, but she's like--

You're amazing,
whoever you choose

is gonna be incredibly lucky,

whether it's Sam or not.

You're smart, you're confident,

you're really good
with kids and animals.

You're an incessantly
positive person,

you have an amazing
outlook on life,

although maybe not
the last three days.

You're, what else,
you're hilarious

and you're sweet and
you're so talented.

- Keep going, this is
great, I'm enjoying this.

- I don't know, I'm just saying.

Stop being such a bitch.

- I'm actually surprised
we never hooked up.

- I don't know, I don't
wanna make it awkward.

- What did you mean to make it?

- I just mean like,
considering all the

drunken nights we spent
together in the last 15 years,

you'd think, yeah, maybe
something like that

could've happened.

- We proved "when Harry
met Sally" wrong, go us.

- Fist bump.

We did kiss one time though.

I mean, it wasn't a big
deal, you were blackout.

It was the summer
before senior year,

we went up to Santa Barbara
for the flaming lips, remember?

Jeremy and Nicole went
back into the bedroom

to smoke pot and you
said, "if I spoke pot, I'm

"gonna throw up all
over the world," so.

and then, you looked at
me and you gave me that

same shit-eating grin that
you're doing right now

and you said, "if we
kiss, then neither of us

"would ever throw up again
for our entire lives,"

and then you kissed me.

- Oh, my god, me too,
you threw up everywhere,

over the balcony onto that woman
who was a few stories down,

oh man, she was so pissed.

into Jeremy's room and you
guys started dating after that.

- Yeah, crazy night.

- Can I tell you something?

- Always.

- I wasn't blacked out.

- Dude, you were fucking gone.

- But I wasn't blacked out.

- You shit.

- I had a crush on you.

- What?

- Yeah, but that train was
coming to it's last stop,

you know, we broke up
like four days later.

- Why didn't you
ever say anything?

- I was nervous.

- No, miles, you were
not a nervous guy.

- It's weird to take
something from the friend zone

into the romantic zone.

- Alright, well, good
to know that doesn't

bother you anymore.

- I don't know, whatever, it
was like a bunch of years ago,

you know, I'm over it, you know.

You remember that time,
it was like a few days

before that trip where
you came over to my house?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I made you that
bean dip and you said

you had something
important to tell me?

- I told you that i
had a crush on Jeremy.

- Thought you were gonna tell
me you had a crush on me.

- Oh, miles, I'm sorry.

- Oh, my god, it was 13
years ago, I'm over it.

- You always treated me like
i was your little sister.

You used to give me noogies.

- Yeah, it was total friend
zone back then, you know,

but you grew on me.

- Well, when did
you start liking me?

- Middle of junior year,
i went to your house,

I knocked on the door,
no one came to the door,

so I just kind of walked around

and I saw you just
painting, listening to music

and I just watched for
like an hour and a half.

- Creep, taxi!

- Hilarious.

- Wow.

- Crazy.

- That is crazy.

I had a crush on you since
like the day I met you

until I started dating Jeremy.

- Way, of course i
had a crush on you,

I've always had a crush on you.

- Miles, I was the new
girl and you were the dorky

funny guy who made me feel
at home, like right away,

what wasn't there to like?

- I'm not disagreeing with you,

other than the dorky part.

You know, I never knew.

- I wasn't gonna tell you.

- See, this is what
i mean, if our timing

was a little
different, who knows?

cheating on me, i
could have been walking

around with Sam all day.

- Shut up.

- In the world of affairs,
we live in our own age

in books we live in all ages.

La central library,
actually just named it

the Richard riordan library,

could have called it the ray
bradbury central library,

teaching himself
to write in here.

Fahrenheit 451 versus
an old balding ex-mayor.

Tough decision.

- I like the la
central library best.

- So do I, riordan's
not even dead yet.

You shouldn't be able
to have a building

named after you
unless you're dead.

- What if you're super awesome?

and you wouldn't need a fucking
building to tell you that.

- I think I need a
building to tell me that.

- Oh, for you, I shall
make an exception.

- I love all the
light posts in la.

- Yeah, they're pretty sweet.

- They're so charming, you know?

Each one's so
different and cool.

- I've never really noticed.

- You should start
noticing them.

Can't use it as your most
beautiful thing though, right,

- I'm just saying,
well, you should take

care of yourself and
find your ugliest thing.

- Okay, alright, I think I will.

You're pretty ugly.

- Nice.

- Could be that.

- You're uglier.

Oh, burn.

it's a beautiful day
for a beautiful day.

How you doin', sir?
- Wanna watch?

Sit over here in the
mezzanine, c'mon.

Who wants to dance?

Who wants to dance?

Come on, come on, bring
it back, bring it back.

- Great seats.

- There we go, there we go, ho!

- He's really good.

- You like men, you
like women, I'm looking

for some ladies, but i
don't care, I don't care

who's going down on me anymore.

I used to care, not anymore,
i use my imagination

and just imagine it's
a 20 year old girl

that I met in telemcula
and then it's, boom!

- She's on your cock.

- Boom.

- Even though it's a
guy, it don't matter.

It don't matter.

- Is he coming?

Yeah.

- And he's here.

- Hold this please.

Oh, I don't, maybe like 4:30?

- I'm late.

- Yeah, we should go.

- What do you think
he's late for?

Good with families and children,

bad with parking meters.

That's the ugliest thing in la.

- More sad than ugly.

Let's go.

really that far from
sleeping on the street.

- Speak for yourself,
I'm not conversing

with a parking meter.

- You've never talk to
an inanimate object?

We all hear voices
in our head, miles.

Crazy people just say
what they hear out loud,

trying to keep them quiet.

- Wow, I was not expecting
you to say something

so profound, I actually
need a moment to like,

process that.

- Another difference
is they smell.

- Did you not smell
yourself this morning?

Have a little compassion.

Ugh, my feet hurt.

- Aw, poor baby, you
want, want me to,

come on, come on, oh my god, ah,

see how compassionate I'm being?

- Where are we
going, do you know?

- No, I don't,
i kinda like that.

- Yeah, me too, I guess.

and not worry about
the destination.

- You should
put that on a t-shirt.

- We should.

- Easier said than done.

- No, I think we
could if we wanted to.

those people know how to live.

It starts out with
family then health

then work, here it's
complete opposite.

- Okay, so like, if
we were living today

based solely on
Italian principles,

We'd move back in
with our parents.

- We would start using
olive oil instead of butter,

drink more red wine.

- Yeah,
that sounds awesome.

- Si, I gotta move
in with your parents though.

- Ready to give all
this up for New York?

- I don't know, this
place is amazing.

It's like the og food court.

- It's the best, this
whole street's the best.

the same price they
sell for in Mexico.

- Yeah, three hats, 10 bucks.

- Are they made of flour?

- Corn, actually.

This whole place used
to be carne asada,

pig heads, butcher
shops, now there's

like a hipster juice bar.

I hate hipsters.

- Hate is a strong word, miles.

- Don't give me your
bullshit compassion.

These hipsters come in
and they like take over

our authentic la, now
there's a urban outfitters

and an Ace hotel on Broadway.

- Would you rather the property
sits empty and languishes?

- No, but they just think
they're so fucking cool.

- You think you're
so fucking cool.

- Yeah, but I can
just be cool by like

showing people I'm cool,

I don't need like
a fucking mustache.

the same as everybody else.

- Do I?

- Yeah, you shop at penguin,
you wear lucky jeans,

you like ball caps and
you wear white t-shirts,

I can name three guys
that dress just like you.

- Please don't.

- Just saying,
you're not special.

- Wow, single tear
rolling down my cheek

for the next three hours.

- People who wear one
uniform, they love to look

down on people who
wear another uniform,

it's the human race.

I know really cool guys
that dress like you,

and I know super douches
that dress like you.

it's like, no matter
what your uniform is,

there's a neighborhood for you.

- Yeah, but some
uniforms still suck.

- Like what?

- The Nazi uniform?

- I don't know, guess I've
never met a cool Nazi,

but uh, there's still time.

- Ah, you like to
push my buttons.

What's your uniform,
Ms. know-it-all.

- I don't have a uniform.

There's your uniform.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

- I don't think there's
a song in it with whistling

that I don't like,

"{Sittin' on) The dock
of the bay", classic.

- "Don't worry
be happy", classic.

- "Stranger",
Billy Joel.

- "Daydream",
lovin' spoonful.

- There's more.

- Genius, no,
there's more, there's more.

There's a, what's the
one, do do do do do do do.

- You know the one
that goes do do do do do do do.

- Oh yeah, that
one, right, uh-huh.

- I hate you.

- No, i
do, kinda hate you.

- No, you love me.

in Los Angeles today, when
are we crowning a champion?

- Oh, I saw the most
beautiful thing,

like, an hour ago.

had to find it,
you assume that we

- That's so lame, of
course we have share

it with each other.

You didn't see anything.

- Yes, I did.

- What did you see?

- You didn't see shit.

- I saw an older lady sitting
in a flimsy folding chair

in the middle of the sidewalk
knitting herself a scarf.

- And?

- And, you wonder why I don't
wanna tell you anything.

- I'm listening.

- She was just sitting there,
not waiting for anything,

not the bus, not the Metro,
she was just sitting,

knitting, doing her thing.

- Why is that beautiful?

- I thought it was peaceful.

- How so?

- She was just doing
something for herself.

She was doing something to
bring herself some peace.

I thought it was beautiful.

- I get it, I get it.

I mean, I don't think it
wins the day, but I get it.

- You ever see
a pbr tallboy in a can?

- It's a
thing of beauty.

Cheers.

- How are your folks?

- They're great,
yeah, they've been up

to my aunt's house
in San Francisco.

- Oh, that's so cool, they're
always doing fun stuff.

- Yeah, they literally had
a water fight the other day.

- Yeah, the relationship
kind of simultaneously

makes me feel like
a failure in love

but also that you know,
there's hope that somebody

I'll have what they have.

- You will, it's
all gonna work out.

- Will it?

- I think it will.

- I mean,
there's a chance that

That's a possibility.

- Yes, there's
a possibility that
it won't work out.

- It's weird, it's like
when we tell people

it'll all work out,
how do we know?

- We don't, you just
lie to them to make them

feel better about it,
but I'm not talking about

the situation, I'm
talking about you

because I know you,
you're a survivor.

Shit's gonna get thrown
at us our whole lives.

You take it in and you
laugh, you cry, you learn

what you can and you move on.

- Is that the lamp from
"a Christmas story"?

That is the most
beautiful thing in la.

- Okay, that can be
your most beautiful thing.

- It's so
much better than

your most beautiful thing.

- Oh, whatever.

What am I gonna do miles?

- What am I gonna do?

Waterfall?

- What did you just say?

- Oh, man, I haven't
done a waterfall...

- I feel like we
need a waterfall.

- Really?

tlc taught me and start
chasing me some waterfalls.

Waterfall!

- oh, whoa, whoa, whoa,
let me help you guys

out here with these.

- Don't touch
me, bro.

Sam's calling, do
you wanna answer it?

- Nah, fuck it.

- You sure?

- Yeah.

- Why don't we skip anymore?

- Oh, guys don't skip,
guys don't skip, okay?

We freestyle walk.

- Yeah, freestyle walk,
check it, look at this.

- Wow, bravo,
bravo, yeah, I see.

Not any woman could
do a sport like that,

it takes the strength, right?

- Oh yeah, no, I've been
working on my leg muscles

- Luckily, I am not any woman.

- Wait, are you gonna?

Do it at your own risk.

I can't promise you're not gonna

get seriously injured.

- Alright, ready?

- Oh, god.

- Oh.

- Toe tap?

- Just the toe tap.

- What, I didn't see you do it.

- I didn't wanna
show you anything

you couldn't handle.

- Oh, anything i
can't handle, right?

- Back up a little bit.

- Oh, excuse me.

- Oh.

- Oh, my nuts!

Oh, fuck you, meter!

- Now, who's yelling
at the parking meters?

Are you alright?

Oh, that hurt my nuts.

- What is this, what
is happening, this is awesome.

- This is art walk,
wait, the vice-mayor of la

- I've always wanted to
come down to art walk,

I've just never made it.

This is awesome.

- Oh, so you're
gonna move to New York

- That is the dilemma.

- What's the dilemma?

- Well, imagine
this but everyday,

not just once a month,
that is New York.

- This could be everyday.

This could be
everyday, it would just

take a little bit
of time, you know,

but you'd be part of something.

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

- Be the soundtrack.

- You got the iPod, dj Tanner.

Turn it up.

- follow me?

- Oh my gosh, hi.

- What am I doing here,
these are my photos.

- No way, aw, these
are beautiful.

to invite you out, glad
you decided you wanna rock.

- Yeah, I'm glad
I'm here too, actually.

I'm here with miles, my oldest
friend from high school.

- Hey, nice to meet you, man.

Really cool work.

- Yeah, thanks.

you guys want
something to drink or?

- Yeah, none for me,
no drinking on the job.

- Uh, when
did you do higby's?

- When did
you get so sexy?

then you disappeared.

- I just wanted to get
a breath of fresh air.

- You ready to go?

- Yeah, I'll go, i
mean, I don't wanna

get in the way of
whatever you guys.

- Oh yeah, no, not at all.

We're gonna get coffee tomorrow.

I had no idea his stuff
was so good, loved it.

- Cool.

Wish we could just get on
the trolley and go home.

- Yeah, relax miles, i
saw "Roger rabbit" too.

- Oh, that is the
new-ish catholic church.

- That's it.

- Jesus, that's ugly.

- I don't know,
it's not that bad.

make you feel like, closer
to god or something?

- Yeah, I think that was
the original intention

in the middle ages, yeah.

- It makes me wanna
closer to home depot,

did they even finish sanding it?

- Be nice, I read that
it's gorgeous inside.

they're basically the biggest
organized crime syndicate

in the Atlantic,
they're worse than fifa.

- You're just shitting
on the architecture

because it's a catholic church.

- No, no, it's also ugly.

- I thought it was
peaceful in there.

I mean, I agree, the
outside kind of, is weird,

but I liked it inside.

- It's so ugly.

so flashy on the
outside, you know?

I think that's what
true religion is,

you don't have to flaunt
it on the outside,

you just be beautiful
on the inside.

- Right, 'cause that's
the catholic church's mo,

not flaunting it.

- I think in this case,
yeah, that's the way it is.

I wanna get something
from the gift shop,

do you want a drink?

- Gift shop, yep,
it's a perfect example

of how the catholic church
really cares about people's

inner spirituality.

- Jesus, miles.

- My thoughts exactly.

- You're being a dick.

- I'm sorry, did
you wanna buy like a

four dollar bottle of water?

Do you wanna buy like
a $300 chintzy cross?

Fuckin' go for it, they
buy that shit on Broadway.

they buy it over there,
and they bring it in here

and they mark it up.

completely insensitive
and close-minded.

- Since when did you
become a fucking apologist

for the organization
that caused more wars

than anybody else in
the history of the world

and fucking protects pedophiles?

- I'm not an apologist, miles.

Have you ever heard
of mother Teresa?

She was catholic and
she's fucking real.

- Oh my god, how
can you buy into the

catholic church's line of bs?

When did you become
so religious?

but I respect other
people who are.

beliefs and opinions, even if
they're different from yours.

- Yeah, but you have
to be a fucking moron

to buy into their line of bs.

You know what, if
your bullshit meter

is like that faulty, then,
maybe you should just

start rethinking
everything, 'cause I don't

70 year old white guys in Rome,

I don't think any
new yorker is gonna

pay shit for your art.

- Maybe you should
rethink everything, miles.

but you don't know
shit about yourself.

Wah, wah, wah, my fiance
is cheating on me,

I hate being a teacher,
I'm gonna go cry

in my mom's bed for three days.

You know what, i
don't have that.

I don't have mommy's
shoulder to cry on.

Do you ever hear me
complaining about life ever?

No, because I'm too
busy fucking taking

I take care of my mom, and
then I took care of my dad

and now I'm here fucking
taking care of you,

when do I ever have time
to take care of myself,

and yeah, I might go
to New York and I might

fucking fall on my ass,

but you know what,
at least I'll know

and say, at least I'm
not a giant fucking pussy

like miles, at least
i fucking tried.

- I didn't fucking ask
for you to come today.

I didn't ask for any of this.

- No, game's over.

Fuck it.

- Miles.

- Fuck off.

- Please, can we
just, go, please, together?

- give me my phone.

- Now you wanna talk to her?

You did not just throw
my phone into the lake.

- Go fish it out and see.

- No, no, no, don't.

You're gonna feel
like shit for that.

to feel any shittier than
you're making me feel right now.

Last thing I wanted
to do was burden

anybody with my problems, okay?

Remember, you came to me today,

I didn't ask for you,

I didn't ask for this day

and I'm still not asking for it.

- Miles, it's me.

Look, I cheated but i
didn't have sex with him,

we just got drunk in
a bar and made out

with some guy, i
don't even know.

It was really stupid
and I was really drunk

and I'm so sorry.

I know we can work this out.

Call me back because i
love you so much, bye.

- There's something
that I never,

I've never told anyone, but,

my mom wasn't very
religious, you know?

But, at the end of
the last few months

right before she died,

she started talking to a priest.

In bolvo, she was at her weakest

from the chemotherapy and

she was in so much pain

and she was withering
away before my eyes.

It's the only thing that
gave her a sense of hope.

So maybe it's bullshit,
miles, maybe it's bullshit,

I don't know, but,

it made her feel
better about dying

and for that I will
always be grateful.

- I'm sorry, sorry
about everything I said.

Sam wanted to get
married at that church.

I said no.

Ah, well, we've
bussed, we've walked,

we've subwayed
all over the city,

you know one thing
we haven't done?

- Paddle boat, paddle boat.

How nice is this?

My dad grew up
right around here.

- Angelino heights.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah.

It's where the house
from charmed is.

- You watched charmed?

- Ah, angelino heights,
I've got porch envy already.

2414, great porch,
people would just stop by

and barbecue, drink beers,
porches bring people together.

- My dad grew up
right around this corner,

wanna check it out?

- Yeah.

Ooh, this looks
like a cool party,

- We don't know
anybody in there.

- So?

- Hipsters.

- Come on, it
sounds like robot gangbang.

- these hipsters fucking rock.

- holy shit.

- What?

- Houston, it's Houston.

- Holy shit.

- Houston!

- Houston!

You remember us, from the bus?

- Oh, yeah, sorry
i was being a dick,

I just had to take a shit.

- It's all good now, yeah.

So, who do you guys
know over here?

- Yeah, let's party, yeah!

- you, you are
adorbs, oh my god,

your hair is amazing, so soft.

It smells like cotton
candy, I love it.

Can we make out?

- Oh my god, I'm gonna
be your best friend.

talking to your
friend much tonight,

- It's all good, I think
she needs a miles break.

- I'm Sarah.

- I'm miles.

- I kinda got that.

- Sarah is gonna show
me where the drinks are,

you want one?

- Yeah, get me one.

- I'll be right back.

- Yeah, born and raised.

- Wow, I don't think I've ever

actually met someone from la?

that's actually why
i was walking by.

- Thanks for the beer, miles.

- Becca, ah fuck, sorry.

- Oh, I'll go grab you one.

- Oh, thanks.

What a day.

- How do you know if you
actually know someone?

- Um, I think you
just kinda know.

- Isn't it kinda like terrifying

to think that, you
know, that you think

you might know someone
but you really don't?

- What if we come
up with a test?

- Is that possible?

- Is that possible, how?

- Uh, okay, how about this?

What color are my eyes?

- Becca.

- Miles, what color are my eyes?

- I'm like a dude, I don't
know my mom's eye color.

- What, I saw you 15 years,
dude, what color are my eyes?

- It's a trick question.

- How so?

- 'Cause your eyes change
color with the light.

- Yeah.

- My god, I was
worried for a second.

- Maybe your eyes didn't
change color with the light?

- Night's like tonight make
me feel happy to be alive.

Like, if we could just
look out into the stars

and as the smoke clears
and we see everything

that's going on.

- Taco
Tuesday, roll out!

- Oh yeah.

- What is that?

- We night bike around la.

It gets kinda crazy.

- I gotta couple bikes
if you guys wanna join.

- Yeah.

- I'm dead.

- Oh, my legs are like,
what the hell are you doing?

All of la's light poles, all
in one place, just for you.

- Thank you.

- I woke up this
morning, I had no idea

today would be like this.

- Me neither.

- Honestly, I just
thought we were gonna bowl

and play area 51.

- Still time.

- It's one.

- Rain check.

- Is life still on pause
or do we have to hit play?

- I think we have a few
minutes left on pause.

- I think you should
go to New York,

it's dark in la.

Just do it.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Yes!

What are you gonna do?

- I'm gonna swing.

- What are you gonna do?

and just figure out if
there's anything still there.

- What about the family meeting?

- No pow-wow, I'm
calling my mom and saying

this is about me and Sam,
it's nobody else's business.

- Good for you.

Hey, you're probably
gonna need this.

- What is that?

I saw you throw
that in the lake.

- It was my compact.

I threw your phone in the lake.

- I told you you were
gonna feel like shit.

It's just a phone.

Besides, at least
now you're even.

- What's that supposed to mean?

she didn't have sex with
that guy, they just kissed.

- You checked my voicemail?

- At least you have your phone.

Look, I'm not saying that
you should get back together,

but, at least now you're even.

- You really are something.

- Well, if you're
ever in New York,

you can always
crash on my couch.

- Couch?

- Yeah, buster, couch.

- What makes you
think you're gonna

have room for a couch?