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Previously on Mom...
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I'm getting a lot of complaints.
3
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[Crying] Really? About what?
4
00:00:07,266 --> 00:00:11,301
Well, apparently, one of my waitresses
is having a nervous breakdown.
5
00:00:11,591 --> 00:00:13,436
Is it Jennifer?
6
00:00:14,304 --> 00:00:16,486
- You're making this about me?
- No, it's okay.
7
00:00:16,502 --> 00:00:17,472
I have come to understand
8
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:18,997
that you were the best
daughter you could be.
9
00:00:18,997 --> 00:00:21,632
My job is to forgive you, which I do.
10
00:00:22,797 --> 00:00:24,228
Oh, my God!
11
00:00:24,348 --> 00:00:25,141
Mom,
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00:00:25,261 --> 00:00:27,169
I've watched you lick cocaine crumbs
13
00:00:27,208 --> 00:00:28,623
out of a shag carpet.
14
00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:33,307
It's not a sin to be thrifty, dear.
15
00:00:35,090 --> 00:00:37,319
I got pregnant with you
when I was a teenager,
16
00:00:37,335 --> 00:00:40,018
and please don't take this the wrong way...
17
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:41,809
it ruined my life.
18
00:00:43,475 --> 00:00:44,945
Sleeping with your boss...
19
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:46,580
- who does that?
- [Chuckles]
20
00:00:47,283 --> 00:00:48,534
Roscoe: Mom?
21
00:00:51,295 --> 00:00:54,181
Christy, you know my, uh, wife?
22
00:00:55,463 --> 00:00:58,983
Yeah. Hi, Claudia. Nice to see you again.
23
00:00:59,103 --> 00:01:00,617
It's "Clowdia."
24
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,160
FYI, the ladies' room needs
some attention. I don't...
25
00:01:04,199 --> 00:01:05,826
know if that's you, Christy?
26
00:01:06,381 --> 00:01:09,040
It's not, and it's "Christ-y".
27
00:01:09,869 --> 00:01:12,724
Oh, I almost forgot, your daughter
thinks she might be pregnant.
28
00:01:12,755 --> 00:01:14,609
Call me if you need me.
29
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[Door closes]
30
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"Remove the test stick
from the foil wrapper
31
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and take off the over-cap."
32
00:01:22,424 --> 00:01:24,196
"Holding the test by the thumb grip,
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place the absorbent tip in urine stream."
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You got to tinkle on it.
35
00:01:31,407 --> 00:01:34,050
It's not the first time I've
done a pregnancy test, mom.
36
00:01:34,747 --> 00:01:36,404
Really?
37
00:01:36,655 --> 00:01:39,047
Then why'd you make me
read all those instructions?
38
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Not important.
39
00:01:42,507 --> 00:01:43,759
Let it rip.
40
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Can I have some privacy, please?
41
00:01:48,095 --> 00:01:49,261
Sure.
42
00:01:49,597 --> 00:01:50,958
[Clears throat]
43
00:01:55,439 --> 00:01:58,129
Violet, I just want you to know that
44
00:01:58,465 --> 00:01:59,982
if it turns out you are pregnant,
45
00:01:59,990 --> 00:02:02,876
I will support you no
matter what you decide to do.
46
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Thank you.
47
00:02:07,459 --> 00:02:09,093
What do you think you're gonna do?
48
00:02:09,586 --> 00:02:10,532
What?
49
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,964
You know, which way you leanin'?
50
00:02:13,084 --> 00:02:15,412
- I don't know. Get out.
- Okay, sorry.
51
00:02:19,228 --> 00:02:21,520
You know, when I found out
I was pregnant with you,
52
00:02:21,551 --> 00:02:23,897
a home pregnancy test
took about 20 minutes.
53
00:02:23,928 --> 00:02:24,851
Uh-huh.
54
00:02:25,367 --> 00:02:26,822
Now it's two minutes.
55
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That's progress.
56
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Yay, science.
57
00:02:31,811 --> 00:02:33,086
I guess.
58
00:02:33,094 --> 00:02:34,353
I mean, it's good news for you
59
00:02:34,392 --> 00:02:36,269
because the nervous waiting time is less.
60
00:02:36,285 --> 00:02:38,631
Mom, I can't do this
if you're talking to me.
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00:02:38,751 --> 00:02:39,860
All right, sure.
62
00:02:39,876 --> 00:02:42,339
- Pee-shy runs in the family.
- Mom!
63
00:02:42,459 --> 00:02:43,731
Sorry.
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00:02:44,769 --> 00:02:46,149
- [Trickling]
- Oh, good girl!
65
00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:47,716
Be quiet!
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00:02:48,073 --> 00:02:49,714
[Knocking]
67
00:02:49,834 --> 00:02:52,248
- Hello?
- Hi.
68
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:53,571
What's the word?
69
00:02:53,845 --> 00:02:55,854
She's doing the test now.
70
00:02:55,862 --> 00:02:57,325
We'll know in a couple minutes.
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00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:58,928
Wow. Gulp.
72
00:03:00,961 --> 00:03:01,743
Yeah.
73
00:03:01,751 --> 00:03:02,917
When I was pregnant with you,
74
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:05,811
- those home kits took, like, two hours.
- Really?
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00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:07,907
It was a long wait in
a gas station bathroom.
76
00:03:09,017 --> 00:03:10,879
- Bonnie, is that you?
- Yeah, honey.
77
00:03:10,918 --> 00:03:13,060
- Can you come in?
- Of course.
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00:03:15,509 --> 00:03:17,878
Why does your grandmother
get to go in and I don't?
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00:03:17,917 --> 00:03:19,802
Because she won't lecture me.
80
00:03:20,256 --> 00:03:23,078
I... I don't lecture. I...
81
00:03:23,125 --> 00:03:26,364
share my experiences in the hope
that you'll have a better life
82
00:03:26,371 --> 00:03:27,748
than I had, and frankly,
83
00:03:27,748 --> 00:03:29,422
I think you could be
a little more grateful.
84
00:03:29,422 --> 00:03:30,751
Oh, screw it, I'm coming in.
85
00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:33,809
- What's it say? What's it say?
- Nothing yet.
86
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,186
Oh, God, oh, God.
87
00:03:35,193 --> 00:03:36,804
I know, it's so exciting.
88
00:03:36,812 --> 00:03:38,564
I'm glad you're excited.
89
00:03:38,684 --> 00:03:39,753
I'm scared to death.
90
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:40,808
Hey, don't you worry.
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00:03:40,808 --> 00:03:44,101
I'm gonna be here for you
whenever you need me, 24-7.
92
00:03:44,132 --> 00:03:46,088
Thanks, Bonnie.
93
00:03:47,949 --> 00:03:49,943
I'm gonna be here for you, too.
94
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,087
That's your job, mom.
95
00:03:52,885 --> 00:03:54,926
Ooh. Here we go, showtime.
96
00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:00,626
Okay.
97
00:04:02,003 --> 00:04:03,254
Wow.
98
00:04:03,989 --> 00:04:05,279
You doing all right?
99
00:04:06,265 --> 00:04:08,572
I... don't know.
100
00:04:09,103 --> 00:04:10,714
Excuse me.
101
00:04:15,477 --> 00:04:17,471
- I can't believe this.
- Hey,
102
00:04:17,479 --> 00:04:20,466
you have to take some of the
responsibility for this pregnancy.
103
00:04:20,586 --> 00:04:23,063
Are you kidding? We had the talk.
104
00:04:23,110 --> 00:04:25,909
I told her about abstinence,
condoms, everything.
105
00:04:26,029 --> 00:04:27,950
Did you mention oral sex as a work-around?
106
00:04:30,132 --> 00:04:32,196
Oh, my God, it is my fault.
107
00:04:34,495 --> 00:04:44,495
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
108
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,665
When are you gonna stop with the bangs?
109
00:05:02,355 --> 00:05:03,598
What?
110
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:06,492
I just... I understood
it when you had a forehead
111
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:09,112
full of pimples, but now you're
just hiding a pretty face.
112
00:05:10,598 --> 00:05:12,459
This is the look now.
113
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,171
The first lady wears her hair like this.
114
00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:16,064
Well, I don't think it
works on her, either.
115
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Noted.
116
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[Sighs]
117
00:05:22,414 --> 00:05:23,564
What are we gonna do about Violet?
118
00:05:23,572 --> 00:05:24,831
I love her hair.
119
00:05:26,301 --> 00:05:28,217
No, the pregnancy.
120
00:05:28,337 --> 00:05:30,164
I don't want her to wind up like us.
121
00:05:30,203 --> 00:05:31,486
What's the matter with us?
122
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,655
The fact that you don't
know speaks volumes.
123
00:05:37,993 --> 00:05:40,214
She has options.
124
00:05:40,254 --> 00:05:41,458
I know.
125
00:05:43,139 --> 00:05:44,031
[Sighs]
126
00:05:44,038 --> 00:05:45,509
Did I ever tell you how close I came
127
00:05:45,548 --> 00:05:47,104
to giving you up for adoption?
128
00:05:48,254 --> 00:05:49,481
What?
129
00:05:49,935 --> 00:05:53,587
Lovely Jewish couple from San
Francisco, the Lowensteins.
130
00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:57,357
She played cello for the philharmonic,
131
00:05:57,396 --> 00:05:59,007
he was a cardiologist.
132
00:05:59,038 --> 00:06:00,994
- You never told me this.
- Oh, yeah.
133
00:06:01,048 --> 00:06:03,152
They offered me $25,000 for you.
134
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:05,608
Why didn't you take it?
135
00:06:05,655 --> 00:06:07,141
They sound fantastic.
136
00:06:08,478 --> 00:06:11,708
Well, they were, but you were
my baby girl. I loved you.
137
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:16,322
If you really loved me, you
would've sold me to the Lowensteins.
138
00:06:18,473 --> 00:06:20,225
Maybe if they'd gone to 30.
139
00:06:22,618 --> 00:06:24,527
I've made a decision.
140
00:06:27,193 --> 00:06:28,694
I'm gonna be a mom.
141
00:06:31,228 --> 00:06:32,432
Eek.
142
00:06:34,278 --> 00:06:35,889
Okay.
143
00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:38,689
Well, then,
144
00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:41,723
congratulations.
145
00:06:42,756 --> 00:06:44,375
We're having a baby.
146
00:06:44,657 --> 00:06:46,635
I'm so happy for you, Violet.
147
00:06:46,682 --> 00:06:47,886
Thanks.
148
00:06:47,918 --> 00:06:49,779
And the great thing about
having a baby so young
149
00:06:49,803 --> 00:06:52,563
is after a few years, you can
tell people the kid's your sibling.
150
00:06:54,401 --> 00:06:56,005
Right, sis?
151
00:06:58,742 --> 00:07:01,370
That's not as cute as you think it is.
152
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:07,618
Uh, couple of questions.
153
00:07:07,899 --> 00:07:09,870
What about high school?
154
00:07:09,910 --> 00:07:10,856
What about it?
155
00:07:10,976 --> 00:07:12,624
The baby won't be born
till after I graduate,
156
00:07:12,631 --> 00:07:13,953
so it shouldn't be a problem.
157
00:07:15,588 --> 00:07:16,769
Eek.
158
00:07:19,193 --> 00:07:21,391
I guess the next thing to do is call Luke.
159
00:07:21,511 --> 00:07:24,417
- You think he's the father?
- I know he's the father.
160
00:07:24,456 --> 00:07:26,193
How about that? Old-school.
161
00:07:28,187 --> 00:07:30,354
- Grandma!
- Ah, ah, ah.
162
00:07:30,474 --> 00:07:33,255
Aunt Bonnie. There's my boy.
163
00:07:34,201 --> 00:07:35,906
Why do you have glitter on your shirt?
164
00:07:35,937 --> 00:07:37,744
Dad took me to his girlfriend's apartment.
165
00:07:37,864 --> 00:07:39,527
I learned how to swing on a pole.
166
00:07:40,653 --> 00:07:41,912
He's a natural.
167
00:07:45,314 --> 00:07:47,785
I thought your girlfriend
worked at Bed, Bath and Beyond.
168
00:07:47,809 --> 00:07:49,506
Doesn't mean she can't dream.
169
00:07:50,663 --> 00:07:51,547
Okay.
170
00:07:51,594 --> 00:07:54,495
Go wash the sad lady off your hands.
171
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:57,576
[Sighs]
172
00:07:57,921 --> 00:07:59,500
Thanks for taking him this afternoon.
173
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:02,965
Hey, I'm his dad. If I can't spend
two hours a week with him, who can?
174
00:08:04,247 --> 00:08:07,368
It's not always great
knowing who the father is.
175
00:08:12,819 --> 00:08:15,337
Why is my son pregnant?
176
00:08:23,689 --> 00:08:26,348
Well, that's a window into a dark room.
177
00:08:28,193 --> 00:08:30,446
- Sorry.
- You okay?
178
00:08:31,079 --> 00:08:33,300
- I'm fine.
- Come on.
179
00:08:34,544 --> 00:08:36,381
Okay. Well,
180
00:08:36,501 --> 00:08:39,197
I just found out my teenage
daughter is pregnant.
181
00:08:39,317 --> 00:08:41,253
Really? Wow.
182
00:08:42,598 --> 00:08:45,054
She's not a cheerleader
with an overbite, is she?
183
00:08:47,572 --> 00:08:49,840
- No. Why?
- No reason.
184
00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:53,571
Okay.
185
00:08:54,533 --> 00:08:56,331
Nice talking to you, Chef Rudy.
186
00:08:56,331 --> 00:08:58,685
Stay strong, waitress
whose name I do not know.
187
00:09:01,946 --> 00:09:03,213
Thank God.
188
00:09:06,365 --> 00:09:07,859
- Here we are.
- Oh.
189
00:09:07,979 --> 00:09:10,400
[Clears throat] How is the Chardonnay?
190
00:09:10,432 --> 00:09:12,543
It is delicious. Good choice.
191
00:09:12,551 --> 00:09:13,787
Oh, yeah,
192
00:09:14,171 --> 00:09:17,064
back in the day, I could get
lost in a bottle of this stuff.
193
00:09:18,003 --> 00:09:20,740
One time, I woke up in a Best Western hotel
194
00:09:20,740 --> 00:09:23,188
with two of the roadies
from Counting Crows.
195
00:09:25,025 --> 00:09:27,199
But I'm sure that won't happen to you.
196
00:09:33,284 --> 00:09:35,881
- Hey.
- Hey.
197
00:09:37,883 --> 00:09:39,179
I miss you.
198
00:09:39,299 --> 00:09:41,027
Oh, thanks.
199
00:09:44,468 --> 00:09:45,696
You miss me?
200
00:09:45,977 --> 00:09:47,437
Yeah, sure, I guess.
201
00:09:48,284 --> 00:09:50,294
That's not very encouraging.
202
00:09:50,622 --> 00:09:53,360
I'm sorry. I got a lot on my mind.
203
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,432
Well, I'm a good listener.
204
00:09:55,722 --> 00:09:57,317
A penny for your thoughts?
205
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,861
Okay, fine. How's this?
206
00:10:02,174 --> 00:10:05,403
I'm working my ass off so I
can take care of my children,
207
00:10:05,443 --> 00:10:07,476
I just found out I'm gonna
be a freaking grandma,
208
00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:08,860
and the man that I'm sleeping with
209
00:10:08,891 --> 00:10:11,019
only has time for me when
his wife is out of town,
210
00:10:11,058 --> 00:10:12,544
and I desperately want to run away
211
00:10:12,583 --> 00:10:13,960
from it all with a bottle of this
212
00:10:13,991 --> 00:10:16,071
but I can't because my name is
Christy and I'm an alcoholic.
213
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:17,896
Ola, Christy.
214
00:10:21,436 --> 00:10:24,705
Man [Over stereo]: In this
moment, my life is perfect.
215
00:10:25,823 --> 00:10:27,434
In this moment,
216
00:10:27,554 --> 00:10:29,671
my life is perfect.
217
00:10:29,791 --> 00:10:31,337
I breathe in love.
218
00:10:31,457 --> 00:10:33,370
I breathe out fear.
219
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:35,865
I breathe in love.
220
00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:38,007
- I breathe out fear.
- [Knocking]
221
00:10:38,023 --> 00:10:39,806
[Screams, horn honks]
222
00:10:42,128 --> 00:10:43,763
Ah, I...
223
00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:45,906
Didn't see you there, Luke.
224
00:10:45,953 --> 00:10:48,455
I could tell. How's it going?
225
00:10:48,463 --> 00:10:50,841
Pretty good. Um, Violet texted
me that we needed to talk,
226
00:10:50,872 --> 00:10:53,414
so I came right over after
work, and I brought sliders.
227
00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:55,101
Yum.
228
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,941
They give us the ones that smell iffy.
229
00:10:58,435 --> 00:10:59,983
Double yum.
230
00:11:00,186 --> 00:11:02,517
Yeah, it's a pretty sweet perk.
231
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,104
So how was your day?
232
00:11:04,589 --> 00:11:07,030
- Not great.
- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
233
00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:08,203
Mine's been awesome.
234
00:11:08,211 --> 00:11:09,721
I got promoted to shift manager
235
00:11:09,721 --> 00:11:12,059
and found five dollars in the men's room.
236
00:11:12,114 --> 00:11:13,484
It wasn't even that wet.
237
00:11:15,297 --> 00:11:17,455
- You're on fire.
- Right?
238
00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:21,499
Come on in.
239
00:11:21,546 --> 00:11:23,376
Let's see what the rest
of your life looks like.
240
00:11:25,762 --> 00:11:27,576
- Hey, Vi.
- Hi, Luke.
241
00:11:27,696 --> 00:11:29,015
Um, I'd kiss you, but
242
00:11:29,023 --> 00:11:31,338
I don't want your mom to
get the wrong idea about me.
243
00:11:32,534 --> 00:11:34,583
[Quietly] Has that ship sailed.
244
00:11:35,694 --> 00:11:36,891
So, what's going on?
245
00:11:37,011 --> 00:11:40,613
- Well, I got some kind of big news.
- Cool. What?
246
00:11:40,817 --> 00:11:43,734
Okay, um... Violet, wait.
247
00:11:44,758 --> 00:11:46,557
Luke, can you give us a minute?
248
00:11:46,677 --> 00:11:49,482
Sure. I'll nuke these bad boys
so we don't get the squirts.
249
00:11:52,610 --> 00:11:54,573
Isn't he amazing?
250
00:11:54,885 --> 00:11:56,176
Yeah.
251
00:11:58,366 --> 00:12:00,704
I just think it's important
that you understand
252
00:12:00,735 --> 00:12:04,224
he might not have the maturity
to deal with this situation.
253
00:12:04,247 --> 00:12:06,820
I'm just gonna hit the popcorn
button and see what happens.
254
00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:12,654
Luke loves me. I love him.
255
00:12:12,842 --> 00:12:14,477
We're gonna make this work.
256
00:12:14,790 --> 00:12:17,293
Honey, I just don't want you to get hurt.
257
00:12:17,332 --> 00:12:19,443
Young guys spook real easy,
258
00:12:19,482 --> 00:12:21,703
and you can't count on
them sticking around.
259
00:12:22,063 --> 00:12:23,117
Whoa.
260
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:25,997
I think I know what you wanted to tell me.
261
00:12:26,911 --> 00:12:27,897
You do?
262
00:12:27,936 --> 00:12:29,101
Yeah.
263
00:12:30,470 --> 00:12:32,433
You're having a baby.
264
00:12:35,545 --> 00:12:36,757
So close.
265
00:12:39,995 --> 00:12:41,074
Violet?
266
00:12:43,084 --> 00:12:45,109
Luke, I'm having a baby.
267
00:12:46,563 --> 00:12:47,877
Wait.
268
00:12:48,339 --> 00:12:50,170
So you're both pregnant?
269
00:12:53,994 --> 00:12:55,918
No, just me.
270
00:12:56,435 --> 00:12:57,530
Oh.
271
00:13:00,157 --> 00:13:01,495
Well, that's...
272
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:03,967
so cool!
273
00:13:05,445 --> 00:13:07,181
There's still time for you.
274
00:13:07,876 --> 00:13:09,870
Not much, but keep at it.
275
00:13:10,668 --> 00:13:12,381
Thank you.
276
00:13:14,195 --> 00:13:17,277
So you're not gonna get scared and run off?
277
00:13:17,308 --> 00:13:19,021
Why would I run off?
278
00:13:19,141 --> 00:13:22,579
I love you, and I'm gonna love your baby.
279
00:13:23,134 --> 00:13:25,699
Um, it's our baby.
280
00:13:26,067 --> 00:13:27,115
What?
281
00:13:33,426 --> 00:13:34,749
Even better!
282
00:13:44,759 --> 00:13:47,340
That's why I get so frustrated
with the people at work.
283
00:13:48,130 --> 00:13:50,068
[Quietly] I slept with that guy.
284
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,243
Really?
285
00:13:53,752 --> 00:13:56,074
He cries when he finishes.
286
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:58,757
What do you mean?
287
00:13:58,877 --> 00:14:00,727
- Like a happy cry?
- No.
288
00:14:00,985 --> 00:14:02,213
More like a...
289
00:14:02,666 --> 00:14:04,927
[Sobs in low voice]
290
00:14:07,696 --> 00:14:10,567
And that tiny dude over
there in the red shirt?
291
00:14:10,622 --> 00:14:12,616
Did you sleep with him, too?
292
00:14:12,882 --> 00:14:15,854
Well, I wasn't going to at first
because of our height disparity,
293
00:14:15,877 --> 00:14:18,255
and then I decided to do it
anyway as, like, a good deed.
294
00:14:20,531 --> 00:14:22,334
That's how you get into heaven.
295
00:14:22,454 --> 00:14:24,683
Letting a little guy go up on you.
296
00:14:26,122 --> 00:14:29,774
I wish. All he wanted to do was spank me.
297
00:14:30,462 --> 00:14:33,888
Well, no good deed goes unpunished.
298
00:14:34,912 --> 00:14:36,422
I had to sit on my hip for a week.
299
00:14:38,455 --> 00:14:40,426
So how many men at this
meeting have you slept with?
300
00:14:40,473 --> 00:14:42,468
Oh, please, this is a sacred space
301
00:14:42,499 --> 00:14:44,853
dedicated to recovery and healing.
302
00:14:44,973 --> 00:14:46,183
Six.
303
00:14:49,991 --> 00:14:51,524
Woman: Anyone else like to share?
304
00:14:51,571 --> 00:14:53,205
Oh, me.
305
00:14:54,691 --> 00:14:56,435
Haven't you shared enough?
306
00:14:57,436 --> 00:14:59,204
Hi. I'm Bonnie, and I'm an alcoholic.
307
00:14:59,470 --> 00:15:01,597
- All: Hi, Bonnie.
- I just want to start by saying
308
00:15:01,597 --> 00:15:03,482
how grateful I am to this program.
309
00:15:03,498 --> 00:15:06,947
Not only am I happily
sober, but so is my daughter.
310
00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:09,606
And let me tell you, she was a hot mess.
311
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,154
Come on. Stand up, honey.
312
00:15:11,170 --> 00:15:13,133
Let everybody see how pretty you are now.
313
00:15:15,166 --> 00:15:17,207
Imagine her without the bangs.
314
00:15:20,046 --> 00:15:22,267
P.S. She's single, fellas.
315
00:15:22,979 --> 00:15:24,543
Not for you, Spanky.
316
00:15:25,763 --> 00:15:28,571
Anyhow, it's just a real gift
to have her back in my life.
317
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,488
And, uh, I know I wasn't the world's
318
00:15:30,527 --> 00:15:31,895
greatest mom when she was growing up,
319
00:15:31,919 --> 00:15:33,240
what with all my drinking and
320
00:15:33,256 --> 00:15:34,531
drugging and dealing and
321
00:15:34,539 --> 00:15:36,392
managing an international escort service
322
00:15:36,398 --> 00:15:38,237
with ties to the Russian mob, but...
323
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:42,141
you know, it's hard to
have a career and be a mom.
324
00:15:42,173 --> 00:15:43,655
Am I right, ladies?
325
00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:48,029
I remember this one time,
she was five years old.
326
00:15:48,478 --> 00:15:49,981
Maybe she was 11.
327
00:15:50,031 --> 00:15:51,395
The point is she was little.
328
00:15:51,758 --> 00:15:53,654
And I pulled her out of school,
329
00:15:53,654 --> 00:15:54,993
moved us up to Manitoba
330
00:15:55,018 --> 00:15:56,338
where I opened up a daycare center
331
00:15:56,375 --> 00:15:58,527
that was a front for an
ecstasy distribution hub.
332
00:15:59,346 --> 00:16:00,810
It worked out really well
333
00:16:00,823 --> 00:16:03,994
until one mountie had
to be a freaking hero.
334
00:16:06,234 --> 00:16:08,374
You are so lucky to have her for a mother.
335
00:16:08,664 --> 00:16:09,899
You don't have to tell me.
336
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:11,150
- She's a...
- I mean it!
337
00:16:11,233 --> 00:16:13,329
You don't have to tell me.
338
00:16:15,268 --> 00:16:16,995
Don't get me wrong. I love Canada.
339
00:16:17,014 --> 00:16:18,810
Hey, remember Canadian beer?
340
00:16:18,930 --> 00:16:20,655
Wasn't that great?
341
00:16:25,755 --> 00:16:27,069
Hello?
342
00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:29,290
Violet?
343
00:16:33,301 --> 00:16:34,940
- Did you finish your homework?
- Yep.
344
00:16:35,003 --> 00:16:36,091
Did you brush your teeth?
345
00:16:36,211 --> 00:16:37,111
I think so.
346
00:16:37,111 --> 00:16:39,708
Mmm, what do you mean, you "think so"?
347
00:16:39,764 --> 00:16:40,972
My brain is full.
348
00:16:41,009 --> 00:16:42,642
I'm worried about the Middle East.
349
00:16:44,344 --> 00:16:46,859
Violet: All right, you'll brush
twice as long in the morning.
350
00:16:46,902 --> 00:16:48,046
Get in there.
351
00:16:48,792 --> 00:16:49,980
Middle East.
352
00:16:55,999 --> 00:16:57,219
Want to know a secret?
353
00:16:57,526 --> 00:16:58,471
Sure.
354
00:16:58,591 --> 00:17:00,134
You're gonna be an Uncle.
355
00:17:00,254 --> 00:17:01,191
Cool.
356
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:02,699
Do you know what that means?
357
00:17:03,075 --> 00:17:03,742
Yeah.
358
00:17:03,743 --> 00:17:05,924
I'm your boyfriend and I get to sleep over.
359
00:17:07,423 --> 00:17:09,425
No, that's a different kind of Uncle.
360
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,523
It means that I'm gonna have a baby.
361
00:17:13,123 --> 00:17:14,256
Really?
362
00:17:14,938 --> 00:17:16,371
A human baby?
363
00:17:19,493 --> 00:17:20,894
I hope so.
364
00:17:23,015 --> 00:17:24,718
But I'm gonna need your help.
365
00:17:24,924 --> 00:17:27,320
- With what?
- Taking care of the baby.
366
00:17:27,565 --> 00:17:28,672
Oh, sure.
367
00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:31,438
I'll take good care of it
like you take good care of me.
368
00:17:32,545 --> 00:17:34,385
You're gonna be a great Uncle.
369
00:17:34,779 --> 00:17:37,194
- Roscoe: I have a secret, too.
- Violet: What's that?
370
00:17:37,545 --> 00:17:39,966
I haven't brushed my teeth in three days.
371
00:17:40,654 --> 00:17:42,819
You little stinker!
372
00:17:46,954 --> 00:17:48,105
Mom?
373
00:17:48,456 --> 00:17:49,882
- [Sobbing softly]
- What's wrong?
374
00:17:53,642 --> 00:17:56,076
You're a better mother than I am.
375
00:17:58,660 --> 00:17:59,880
I know.
376
00:18:06,674 --> 00:18:08,545
You're gonna love my gynecologist.
377
00:18:08,552 --> 00:18:10,791
He's got very small hands.
378
00:18:11,254 --> 00:18:13,519
Like an Asian raccoon.
379
00:18:14,282 --> 00:18:15,828
Mom, please!
380
00:18:19,901 --> 00:18:21,458
I'm gonna be an Uncle.
381
00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:23,686
Unless it's a girl. Then I'll be an aunt.
382
00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:27,521
I respect your open-mindedness.
383
00:18:30,149 --> 00:18:32,871
Gotta give this kid Luke
points for showing up.
384
00:18:33,308 --> 00:18:34,779
He claims he loves her.
385
00:18:34,899 --> 00:18:36,005
Well, we'll see.
386
00:18:36,125 --> 00:18:37,820
I had three significant relationships
387
00:18:37,832 --> 00:18:39,772
end while I was pregnant with you, so...
388
00:18:44,371 --> 00:18:45,334
Christy?
389
00:18:45,785 --> 00:18:48,269
- Carla?
- Hi.
390
00:18:48,507 --> 00:18:52,098
- I haven't seen you since high school.
- Yeah, hi!
391
00:18:52,317 --> 00:18:54,344
Wow! Look at you.
392
00:18:54,407 --> 00:18:56,584
Yeah, finally getting
around to starting a family.
393
00:18:56,588 --> 00:18:57,564
And you?
394
00:18:57,822 --> 00:18:59,036
I, uh...
395
00:19:00,238 --> 00:19:02,666
I'm fighting a nasty yeast infection.
396
00:19:04,249 --> 00:19:06,926
And with the support of her entire family,
397
00:19:06,933 --> 00:19:08,685
she will win this battle.
398
00:19:16,317 --> 00:19:17,399
Am I right?
399
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:20,921
Oh, come on.
400
00:19:21,922 --> 00:19:23,856
And there is your baby.
401
00:19:26,570 --> 00:19:27,502
Wow.
402
00:19:28,910 --> 00:19:30,962
Luke, look what we made.
403
00:19:31,619 --> 00:19:33,002
Unreal.
404
00:19:33,377 --> 00:19:34,660
I can't wait for it to grow feet
405
00:19:34,691 --> 00:19:36,405
so I can make moccasins for it.
406
00:19:37,531 --> 00:19:39,659
Mom, come here.
407
00:19:41,761 --> 00:19:43,307
I'm gonna need your help.
408
00:19:44,364 --> 00:19:45,584
I'll be here.
409
00:19:50,001 --> 00:19:51,403
Mom?
410
00:19:54,387 --> 00:19:55,939
I'm gonna need your help.
411
00:19:57,015 --> 00:19:58,492
I'm not going anywhere.
412
00:20:01,402 --> 00:20:02,891
"Clitoris."
413
00:20:18,372 --> 00:20:19,438
[Humming]
414
00:20:19,495 --> 00:20:21,036
Well, someone's in a good mood.
415
00:20:21,352 --> 00:20:22,051
You know,
416
00:20:22,376 --> 00:20:23,177
I am.
417
00:20:23,739 --> 00:20:24,575
I am just...
418
00:20:25,088 --> 00:20:27,044
- loving my life right now.
- Mmm.
419
00:20:27,290 --> 00:20:28,200
Cocaine?
420
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:31,234
Family.
421
00:20:32,673 --> 00:20:33,365
Family.
422
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,177
That stuff will kill you.
423
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,900
On the next episode of Mom...
424
00:21:05,484 --> 00:21:10,146
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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