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BETSY: ♪ I can't resist

♪ I can't resist

♪ I can't resist I can't resist I can't resist

♪ A boy in a uniform A boy in a uniform

♪ A soldier Handsome and brave

♪ When I am kissed When I am kissed

♪ When I am kissed I must insist that I be kissed

♪ By a boy in a uniform A boy in a uniform

♪ And he can make me his slave

♪ Look at that manly figure

♪ He's always so well-dressed

♪ His strong physique Makes me feel so weak

♪ Look at that caveman chest

♪ I can't resist

♪ I can't resist

♪ I can't resist I can't resist I can't resist

♪ A boy in a uniform A boy in a uniform

♪ A handsome soldier

♪ Just like you

She abused me,

which, of course, means she's crazy about me.

The way she keeps runnin' after me.

Oh, well, I might as well give in.

I just simply can't escape her desire to love me.

♪ I can't resist I can't resist

♪ I can't resist I can't resist I can't resist

♪ A boy in a uniform A boy in a uniform

♪ A handsome soldier

♪ Just like you

♪ But he's mine He's mine

♪ All mine ♪

Oh, Hap, you're wonderful.

I am?

Gee, every other girl that ever kissed me thought I was a square.

The way the act went over tonight, well...

Well, it was the biggest thrill I ever had.

Didn't you get a thrill, too?Yeah.

Every other girl that ever kissed me thought I was a square.

Hap, you said that before.Oh, yeah.

Well, aren't you happy the act went over?

Oh, sure, Betsy. And-And I wanna thank you for having confidence in me.

You see, when my partner, Chick, went in the paratroopers,

I never thought I'd be able to do an act without him.

Well, you're doing a darn good one.

Well, you're pretty... Oh, I'm in it, Hap,

but you're the act.

No. W-We're a team.

And, I'd like us to be a team.

I mean, all the time.

And, w-well, Betsy,

I-I-I was wonderin' if maybe tonight we could...

Now, Hap, we do a swell act on stage.

Let's just keep it that way, huh?

The army turned me down because I have a bum ear.

But I heard you say no.

You know something, Hap?

You're just about the nicest boy I know.

Here, here, Betsy, as your agent, I get 10% of that.

Oh, fine thing. I don't suppose you have anything for us.

Yeah, I sure do. Earl White liked you,

and he wants to see us at 11:30, Wednesday.

Earl White! Yeah.

Oh, Sam, that's wonderful. Isn't it, Hap?

Yeah. That means Broadway.Yeah.

The big time. Yes.

Sit down, Sam. You sit here, Betsy.

I-I can see it all now. It's opening night.

And everyone's all seated in their seats,

and they're all dressed up, too, waitin'.

And then the conductor comes out to start the show.

He smiles at the audience and looks around, and he gets ready.

And he stops the music.

And the MC is introduced and he comes out.

Hello there, folks! Just startin' our show! I'm sorry I'm a little late.

But on the way over to the theater, a panhandler stopped me on the street

and said, "Buddy, give me a dime, will you, and hurry up."

I said, "Why hurry up?" He says, "I'm double-parked."

Ugh! Anyhow, we'd like to start the show, folks.

We'd like to start with that beautiful chanteuse,

the very lovely mademoiselleSally Sack, and here she comes!

BETSY:

HAP: ♪ I'm in the mood for love

♪ Simply because you're near me

♪ Funny But when you're near me

♪ I'm in the mood for love ♪

And then they clap, and then the MC comes out again.

He says, "Ladies and gentlemen,

"we're goin' to introduce those two wonderful entertainers.

"And here they are, Betsy Carver and Hap Smith!"

And we come out, Betsy, see,

and we're on the stage, Betsy.

The both of us are out there, see?

But what are you gonna do?

I don't know, I'm too tired.

Where you been? You missed the whole show.

Telegram for Hap Smith.

Oh, that's me.

Oh, certainly, the tip.

Anybody got change of a dime?

Okay, keep the whole thing. Thank you, mister.

Oh, that's all right.

Excuse me.

If I'd have known you were that hungry,

I would have brought you a sandwich.What is it, Hap?

Yeah, what does this mean?

I'm sorry. I can't explain.

Where you goin'?

Even I don't know.

HAP: "Important patriotic mission."

"Secrecy essential."

It'd be easier to see if you took those glasses off.

Oh, I be... I beg your pardon.

Oh, I'm sorry, lady.

HAP: Ahem.

Hap! Chick!

Hiya, pal!

♪ You're my chum ♪ ♪ I'm your chum ♪

♪ You're my friend ♪ ♪ Through thick and through thin ♪

Hey, just like old times, huh?Yeah.

Sit down. You sit over there. Here, over here.

Hey, how's your new partner?

Oh, great. Has something you'll never have.

Yeah? What? Skirts.

Hey, it's good to see you, Hap.

Don't mention my name.

I'm here on a very secret mission.

I know.

You know? Sure. I sent the telegram.

Oh, and I thought this was gonna be something patriotic.

It is. Yeah?

Yeah, look, Hap. Now, we're in a spot.

See, we're putting on a show tonight and we need you.

I've been working with Dogface.

Wait, Chick, I-I know from blackface,

but I don't know from dogface.

Well, this is Dogface Dolan.

Are you sure?

It's only a nickname.

My folks never christened me that.

What'd they call you?

Dogface.

Now, look, Hap. The big wheel of this camp is General Timmons.

And he doesn't like soldier shows.

But our colonel has finally talked him

into seeing this show.

Now, we've got to sell him.

You and I, Hap, have got to sell him this show.

It's got to be great.

Or no more shows.

If it's great, then plenty of entertainment for the boys and an extra stripe for Chick.

Now, the first thing we have to do is get you a uniform.

Oh, I got one. Right in here and it's a real doozy.

Do you want to get us all landed in the clink?

Oh, don't be silly. This is a trick suit I use in my new act.

We'll see it in a minute. You can put it on in there.

Well, why can't I change backstage?

Because you're not GI.

This is an all-army show. So?

So, your being in it is a top military secret.

You're not even supposed to be on the post.

Forget you're Hap Smith.

You're Dogface Dolan.

Oh, I'm Smith out here and I'm Dolan in there.

And if they find out that Smith ain't Dolan... Bye, fellas.

Okay, Hap. I never thought you'd let your old buddy down.

But... But...

But what if I get caught? Ain't this illegal?

I'm surprised at you, Hap.

Didn't you once say you'd cut your arm off up to here for me?

Up to here, yeah. Up to here, no.

Besides, I have an important spot in a Broadway show comin' up.

I can't take no chances.

And how about me?

I'm in charge of entertainment in this outfit.

Wouldn't you like to see your old buddy with an extra stripe?

Of course I would.

I knew you'd do it, pal. We can't miss.

Now, you go ahead, put on your uniform.

We'll see you at the main gate.

Uh-huh. Good luck, Dogface.

Who you callin' dog-face?

You.

Oh! Oh! Dog.

Dogface.

Why, you're all jealous.

Hi. Hi.

Well, where are you?

I'm in there someplace. How do I look?

Gee, I... GI, swell.

That's what I hoped you'd say.

Now, look, listen to me.

After you get through the gate,

you can't miss the main auditorium.

Well, why don't you go with me?

I can't. I have to round up the boys for a quick rehearsal.

I'll see you there.

Then why don't you go with me?

Because you've got my pass.

And hang on to it. It's my lifeline.

Now, as soon as the show is over, we'll meet you here. Got it?

Yeah. Show that to him.

Hey, soldier, come here.

Let me see your pass.

My, but you're inquisitive.

You didn't think I had one, huh?

Well, there it is, smarty.

Ha ha and ho.

Hey, Wilkes. Yeah?

If I saw what I think I saw, I need a psycho test.

Maybe we'll bump into each other again sometime.

Didn't you forget something?

I don't think so.

A little matter of a salute.

And say "sir" to an officer. You watch it.

Oh, oh. Oh, of course, sir. Yes, sir!

Morning, sir.

Good morning.

OFFICER: Details will report to the orderly room at 0700.

Hello, sir.

Hey, soldier!

Yes, sir?

Do I look like a commissioned officer?

Oh, yes, sir.

What kind of a goon are you?

I'm a sergeant. I don't rate a salute.

Yes, sir. And I don't rate no "sir."

Yes.

You're a disgrace to the outfit.

Look at that uniform. It has more wrinkles

than an unfolded parachute.

Straighten it out!

Why don't you take better care

of your issue? It's falling apart.

Well, you see, it was made that way, sir.

The Quartermaster Corps issued that uniform in good condition.

Keep it that way!

Well, let me explain, sir.

Explain what?

That this pocket is made to fall off?

And these buttons are supposed to be loose?

Well, now I'm all dressed for the summer.

Pull up those pants!

Where did a yard bird like you ever manage

to pick up those fancy medals? In a pawnshop?

Oh, oh, no, sir.

Stop that "sir."

There's one I've never seen. What is it?

Oh, nothing, nothing.

What's it for?

Slow fire.

And this?

Rapid fire, but please don't...

And this?

Extinguish fire.

Extinguish fire?

Oh. Oh...

Let me at him. I'll bend those medals around his ears.

Easy, Sarge. Easy, Sarge.

Hey, Chick, he thinks I'm a regular soldier.

Tell him I'm not, tell him the truth.

Of course I'll tell him the truth. You see, Sarge,

this fellow doesn't ordinarily look like this.

Why, he's one of the neatest men in his outfit.

He's only wearin' a trick uniform for our show tonight.

It is, huh? Well, why doesn't he say so? Tryin' to rib me?

Well, no, he's a little upset.

You know how this amateur talent is.

Here, amateur talent?

I ask you, Sergeant, is this amateurish?

"What a rogue and peasant slave am I..."Hey. Hey.

"Is it not monstrous that the player here...

"Is it not" Knock it off!

Ah!

Acting. Theatricals.

What an army.

I remember, in the old days,

when the army wanted to raise your morale,

they'd issue you a pass and you'd...

Sergeant, careful or we'll have to wash out your mind with soap.

Get him out of my sight!

Relax, watch your blood pressure. How about a cigar.

Have a cigarette.

That's him there, Hap.

General Timmons.

Wonder what would make him laugh.

Blood.

Well, it was nice bein' in the show.

Look, you stay here. I go on first.

CHICK: ♪ The parachute jump

♪ The parachute jump ♪

♪ It's thrilling to do A dance that's new

♪ The parachute jump

♪ When the music Begins to ride

♪ Then you begin to glide

♪ Bouncing from side to side The parachute jump

♪ You leap into space

♪ Smile on your face

♪ But what do you know Down there below

♪ The world is in place

♪ Hold it steady So you won't slip

♪ Attaboy, let her rip

♪ Then you begin to dip The parachute jump

♪ You dance, And while you dance

♪ Angels are singing songs from high in the blue ♪

♪ You dance Oh, how you dance

ALL: ♪ Suddenly heaven's doors are open to you

CHICK: ♪ You sway And as you sway

ALL: ♪ All of your dreams It seems are coming true

♪ You whirl into a spin

♪ Loving the spin you're in When you do, do, do

♪ The parachute jump

♪ The parachute jump

♪ You drop and you drop Then pop you stop And land with a bump

CHICK: ♪ If you really Would like to fly

♪ Be like a bird on high

♪ Take my advice And try the parachute jump

ALL: ♪ The parachute jump

♪ The parachute jump Jump, jump, jump

♪ Jump, jump, jump Jump, jump! ♪

ALL: ♪ The parachute jump

♪ The parachute jump

♪ You want to fly Like a bird in the sky Then you better try

♪ The parachute jump ♪

I told you Hap would make the show.

You were great, Hap.

Oh, no, Chick. We worked together tonight

just like we did in the old days.

And I sure hope you make sergeant now.

Me, too. Holy mackerel!

I better hurry. I'll miss the last train.

Oh, don't worry, Hap. Dogface will have a cab

waitin' for you at the gate.

Oh, swell. Well, so long, fellas.

So long. So long.

It was sure nice knowin' all of you.

And-And give my regards to the General.

Attention! At ease.

At ease, men.

Who is, uh, Corporal Allen?

I am, sir.

I want to congratulate you, Corporal.

You and the rest of your cast

have turned out a most successful show.

Thank you, sir.

And where is Private Dolan?

Well, uh, I don't believe Private Dolan's on stage, sir.

The last I saw of him, he was on his way off the post.

Oh, that's too bad. Yes, sir.

TIMMONS: I wanted to congratulate him personally.

CHICK: Thank you, sir.

Well, Dolan, it appears you're as much a clown off the stage as you are on.

Yeah.

Corporal. Yes, sir.

Tonight's show has convinced me that Colonel Bradon is right.

These shows mean a lot to the men.

Now, keep up the good work.

Yes, sir. Oh, but this show

will please the men in any army camp, sir.

You know, in show business, shows go from town to town.

Say, that's a brilliant idea, Dolan.

TIMMONS: Lieutenant? LIEUTENANT: Yes, sir.

Detach this unit to tour the other army camps in our area.

Yes, sir.

There may have to be a few minor changes made, sir.

Oh, oh, don't be silly, Chick.

This show could play just like you put it on.

What would you want to make changes for?

He's right. It's perfect as is.

Don't change a thing. Now, that's an order.

Yes, sir.

TIMMONS: And since I'll be traveling around myself, I'll see it several times.

Congratulations again, Corporal.

I'll be seeing you, Dolan. Oh, thank you, General.

Uh, yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

Say, you should use that routine in the show.

Uh, yeah, you could use that in a show, huh, Chick.

Well, anytime the army wants me to help out again, sir,

don't hesitate to call on me.

I won't. CHICK: Attention!

Hey, he's a nice man.

Uh, w-well, let me hear from you guys.

Drop me a post card sometime.

Now you've done it. You and your big mouth.

"The men in the other camps will like this show.

"Chick, what do you want to make changes for?"

I was only tryin' to get you in good.

You know what you've done?

You've cooked us all including yourself.I have?

You were supposed to open on Broadway, weren't you?

Well, your season just closed.

Oh, no!

This show goes on tour as is.

Oh, no!

And you'll go with it, Private Dolan.

That's an order.

Oh, no!

Oh, yes! Oh, yes!

Come on, fellas, this is blackmail.

Th-This is kidnapping.

This is self-protection.

If I let you go now, the whole story will get out

and we'll end up in the hoosegow.

If you guys don't let me go,

I'll call an officer and tell him the whole story.

I-I'll scream.

What happens if I do?

I'm glad you asked that.

Evans, uh, what's the penalty

for, uh, wearing a uniform under false pretenses?

Oh, they-they put you in jail for six months.

Well, that's not so tough.

And then they take you out and shoot you.

Because you wore a uniform to sneak into an army camp.

And that comes under the heading of "Espionage."

You're a spy, see?

Espionage?

They shoot spies, don't they?

Naturally.

But usually, the first volley of shots does the trick.

If they don't hit a vital spot,

they shoot until they do.

And you know that old motto,

"If at first you don't succeed,

"you try and try again." ALL: "You try and try again."

Try again. I know.

I wonder, uh, are they supposed to shoot for the head or the heart?

Oh, the heart.

That's so they don't bleed so much.Oh!

All right, fellas.

If the execution is over, can I go to bed?

I don't feel so good.

All right, come on.

Attention!

At ease, men.

This is Sergeant McClusky.

He'll be in charge of this unit while it's on tour.

I've given him full instructions.

Carry on, Sergeant. Yes, sir.

All right, men, fall in at the foot of your bunks.

MCCLUSKY: When you men volunteered for the paratroops,

you knew you were entering the toughest branch of the service.

The General has okayed the show,

but he wants your training kept up.

Now, I know how it is when you get a new sergeant.

You don't know what to expect and it upsets you.

Well, let me put your minds at ease.

Just to let you know a little more about me,

I'm a louse!

Now, turn in, because tomorrow's gonna be a very busy day.

Sergeant? Yes?

Aren't you gonna say good night?

I'll do that when I come back to tuck you in.

All righty, because it wouldn't be very nice of you

to go to bed mad at us.

Save the comedy for the paying customers.

Well, if you don't like it, break me.

Make me a civilian.

Turn in!

Boy, what a break. A new sergeant,

and he thinks you're Dolan.

Well, if he thinks he's Dolan, what does that make me?

Now, look, you have to lay low

until the General sees this show again.

And you take his bunk. Dogface's.

Oh, fine. It ain't bad enough I got to give him my name.

Now, I got to give him my bunk, too.

MCCLUSKY: Pipe down in there!

Where am I gonna sleep?

Oh, you can have your bed.

I'll sleep outside.

The fresh air will give me a lift.

Nice try, kid, but you stay here.

MCCLUSKY: What's the matter? Do I have to come in there and shut you guys up?

Now, look, we have to turn in. Take off your clothes.

Here?

Here in front of all these fellows?

Take 'em off.

Well, I'll take 'em off my own way.

I happen to like privacy.

You! You'll have to get out of here.

Go on. Run along.

Outside. Shoo. Come on. Hurry.

Hoo!

HAP:

Well, some people are more modest than others.

Okay, now that you're all undressed, turn in!

Hey, Dogface.

Here's the key to the boiler room.

Now, go hide yourself.

There's-There's no window in there.

If I can't breathe, I'll die.

Good, then there'll only be one Dolan.

Yeah.

Go on. Beat it.

Oh, Chick, I'm scared.

Cheer up, we're all in the same boat.

Yeah, but why does it have to leak right under my seat?

Now, go to bed. I don't want to.

Why not? I'm not going to bed till that Sergeant comes back

and tucks me in like he promised.

I'll tuck you in. Hit it for 10.

What do you mean?

I said, hit it for 10 push-ups.

For what? For being naughty.

I wasn't naughty, and I don't have to do it anyhow.

You don't? No, because I don't know how to do it.

And-And, if you want me to do it...Yes?

Well, you'll have to show me how to do it.

Well, come here and I'll show you.

Should I go with him?

I think it'd be nice. Go ahead.

All righty. Bye. Bye.

All right. Go ahead.

One, two, three.

You do it.

All right, how many did you do?

Three.

Four, five...

Oh!

What?

Wise guy.

HAP: Turn off the radio.

CHICK: All right. Come on. Get up.

It's the middle of the night.

Come on, get up.

MCCLUSKY: Okay, Allen, get your men up.

Good morning, everybody. Come on.

Everybody out of bed.

Got a big day's work ahead of us. Come on.

CHICK: Hey, Kelsey, shake that guy.

He'll never get to be sergeant that way.

Come on, now, you bunch of debutantes.

This ain't the Plaza Hotel.

Here we go. Come on. Everybody. Up.

Oh, a wise guy, huh? A real smart guy.

You heard me. Everybody up. Come on!

Let's go. Last one out's a second lieutenant.

Come on, children. Nap time is over.

Time for crackers and milk.

You down there, up.

On your feet. Rise and shine!

CHICK:

Everybody up!

Morning.

Well, Mr. Dolan, you left a 5:30 call.

What are you, one of these tough corporals or somethin'?

No, I'm one of those tough sergeants.

What about it?

No, nothing.

I'm one of those scared privates.

MCCLUSKY: Okay, you guys.

This is still the army.

You have exactly four minutes and 35 seconds for roll call.

That means uniform "C."

Now, hurry up and get dressed. We got to go outside.

Every man has to answer roll call to show that he's here.

But the man just saw us. You mean, we have to go outside

to tell the man we're here when he knows we're here? That's silly.

No, that's the army.

Now, get into your jump boots and fatigues.

Yahoo!

Army. MAN: Yep.

Parade rest!

Archdeacon. ARCHDEACON: Here!

Baker. BAKER: Here!

Benton. BENTON: Here!

Chambers. CHAMBERS: Here!

Dobie. DOBIE: Here!

Dolan! Dolan!

Here! Here!

MCCLUSKY: As you were. Dolan?

HAP: Here!

MCCLUSKY: You! Front and center.

Not bad. Fall in.

You. No, you!

I said "Fall in," didn't I?

Yeah, but, you didn't say what to fall into.

I'm looking.

Uh, still a clown, eh? Well, it may take a little time,

but I'll knock it out of you.

Now, get back in line.

It's your fault.

Uh, you're slippin', Corporal Allen.

I remember you when you were

one of the ten best-dressed men in America.

I'm sorry, Sarge. I know,

trying to grab a little extra shuteye.

But, your sidekick here was right on the ball.

Next time, try to shape up the way he did.

And that goes for the rest of you men.

Fall in.

I said, "Fall in!"

Okay, okay, but where's the hole?

All right, funny man, get a shovel and dig one!

MCCLUSKY: At ease, men.

We got riggers to pack parachutes.

At the same time, every man has to learn

to pack a chute himself.

So, even if you've done this 100 times before,

today you're gonna do it again.

Okay, start packin'.

Hey, Chick? Chick? Chick?

Chick!

What do I do?

Make-believe you're packin' and I'll fix it for you

when I'm through with mine. Now, hurry up.

CHICK: Cut it, will you? Cut it!

Oh!

Hurry up, get them chutes folded.

Remember, would you jump the chute you're folding?

You may have to.

MCCLUSKY: Dolan, finished already?

Uh, yes-yes, sir. Uh...

This, I got to see.

Hmm.

Not bad at all.

Nice work, Corporal.

All chutes folded?

Uh, yes, sir. All except that one under Chick's table.

Chick, show that one to the Sergeant.

Well, Corporal, what's that chute doing under your table?

I put it there, Sarge.

Can't fold a chute, so you hide it

and let someone else do it for you.

Well, I don't know what kind of pull got you them stripes,

but I do know what kind of pull

is gonna take 'em away from you!

No, no, Sarge, that's my chute.

Don't try takin' up for your buddy! It don't go with me.

I'm sorry, Chick.

What are you sorry about?

You done the right thing.

Hut!

At ease, men.

It's been decided to send you on tour immediately.

I want you to go back to the barracks,

and get ready to move out.

In 45 minutes, you'll march over to the auditorium,

load your equipment on trucks,

and catch the train for Camp Crutcher.

That's all, Sergeant.

All right, men, turn in those chutes and start packing.

Uh, Sarge, can I help you?

You know, I'm beginnin' to like you.

You are? Is that good?

Yeah, and I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

What?

I'm not half as tough as I sound.

You're not?

Nah. It's just somethin' that comes over me.

Sometimes I think I'm my own worst enemy.

No, you're not, Sarge.

Not as long as I'm alive.

Hey, buddy, if you think you can pull that on me,

you're per-perfectly welcome.

Y-Yes, sir, Lieutenant.

I-I-I'm sorry, sir. Go right ahead. Help yourself, sir.

Hi, fellas. BOTH: Hi.

Havin' a big time, huh? Yep.

Don't let him use too much cream. He's got to drive.

All right. Thank you.

Just a minute, son. How long have you been in the army?

Well, I'm not exactly in... What?

Long enough to know better, sir.

Uh, I'm sorry, sir. Now, if you'll excuse me...

Just a minute, young man.

You're a paratrooper now.

And discipline and military courtesy mean more than they ever did.

Yeah, I know that, sir. Yes, I'm sorry, sir.

And-And I'll watch it, sir. And the next time...

There won't be any next time, do you understand?

Oh, I do, sir. Yes, sir.That's better.

Th-Thank you, sir. All right, Lieutenant.

As you were. Yes, thank you. Thank you, Lieutenant.

At ease. Yes, sir.

At ease. Yes, sir.

Wise guy.

Hello?

Hello, Betsy?

This is Hap. Happy to hear from me?

I have to be very careful.

A captain just walked in.

Uh, this is Dolan. Uh, Dogface Dolan.

Where did I ever meet you before?

You know, I'm a friend of Hap Smith's.

Hap, where are you?

And what do you mean calling me in the middle of the night?

Middle of the night? It's 7:05.

Rise and shine.

What's this all about?

I-I can't tell you now, Betsy. I can't tell you now,

but all I can tell you is I can't make that appointment with Earl White.

You listen to me, Hap Smith.

You either be at Earl White's office at 11:30 sharp

or this is the end of the act.

Oh, is that so?

Well, you listen to me, young lady.

I'm gettin' pretty sick and tired of your tantrums.

And from now on, I'm gonna be the boss around here, you understand?

And furthermore...

WOMAN: Your party has been disconnected, sir.

You keep out of this!

And get this straight.

You can't make a fool out of me.

Just what do you think I am anyway?

WOMAN: I'm sorry, sir, but we're not allowed to give out that information.

MCCLUSKY: At ease, men. Keep your smokes.

It's 9:15.

The schedule says, "9:15, instruction in hand-to-hand combat."

And train or no train, we're gonna keep on schedule.

Williams.

Now, you're sneaking up on an enemy sentry in the dark.

Where would you knife him?

Under the ribs.

And before I take the knife out,

I'd give it a twist, so it wouldn't get stuck.

That's wrong. Evans.

How would you do it?

Well, I'd... Ah!

Like this.

That's wrong.

You could hear him gurgle 200 yards away.

Dolan.

Now, the correct method is a down stroke

between the shoulder blades and the backbone.

Sarge? Yes.

That's very interesting.

I'm glad you like it.

Dolan, where you going?

Oh, s-sometimes, I don't hear so good.

No alibis, Dolan.

Supposing you were disarmed,

and some guy was ready to put his bayonet in your gut.

Supposing he was comin' at you like this, what would you do?

Well, I'd probably faint.

That's right!

You'd feint him out of position.

Supposing that failed,

how would you parry the thrust and take away his rifle?

Well...

That was absolutely perfect, Dolan.

Absolutely perfect.

MCCLUSKY: Who are you? Who are you?

CHICK: Sarge. Sarge!

May I cut in?

DOLAN: Psst! Psst!

Hey, Chick.

What?

I'm hungry.

Now, wait a minute, will you? Will you wait?

"Wait a minute." I'm so weak now, I can hardly write.

Give me somethin' to eat. CHICK: Shh!

There you are, gentlemen. I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you. Leave some for the others.

What do you mean, "the others"? Ain't I one of the others?

I'm hungry.

You'll eat last.

Oh!

MCCLUSKY: How come you're takin' the little fella's sandwich?

This isn't his. This belongs to everybody.

Do you mind? No.

Let him have it.

Do you mind if I have one?

Well... No, not at all.

Look, Dolan.

If you don't want me to have a sandwich, say so.

Don't try to be funny.

I'm not tryin' to be funny. Honest.

Well, as soon as we have somethin' to eat, we'll do a little trainin'.

Nothing like keepin' a fella in shape.

Two hands. One for each head.

You know, boy, you're getting funnier to me all the time.

Ow!

Ow!

What's that?

We used to belong to Beaver Patrol.

That was our pack call. Wanna join?

MCCLUSKY: Move along, let's go there.

Snap it up!

All right, men, it'll be an hour

before the next train leaves for Camp Crutcher.

Corporal Allen, I got to make out my report.

I'm puttin' you in charge until I get back.

Okay, Sarge.

You can send somebody to Lindy's for coffee and sandwiches,

but nobody else leaves this spot, understand?

I got you. You better,

because I'm making you responsible.

I-I can go for the sandwiches, Chick.

No, let me. I don't mind.

No, I'll go get 'em. Will you wait a minute?

I think I ought to go. "Wait a minute," he said.

He wants I should go for the sandwiches.

No, not you. You're staying with me.

Why can't he go?

Why can't I go?

Well, I thought, maybe he'd stay and keep me company.

He's my buddy.

Well, if I'm his buddy, I should go for the sandwiches, huh?

Go ahead, get sandwiches.

CHICK: But, Sarge... When I give an order, it's an order!

MCCLUSKY: Get goin'.

Uh, thank you, Sarge. Thank you very much.

Would you like, uh, mustard or ketchup?

Keep your eye on my duffel bag, will you, Chick?

HAP: I won't be ba... I mean, I'll be back.

Thank you, Sarge.

Now, why do you always pick on the little fella?

In my book, he's the only one I'd trust

outside these station gates.

And I know men.

He knows men.

Yes, it's 11:35.

Better late than never.

Hap, why didn't you tell me over the phone?

I couldn't tell you then, but I'll explain now.Oh, you don't have to.

Oh, Hap, I think it's just wonderful.

I don't want to interrupt this touching scene,

but I'd like to know which Sam is representing you?

Gilmore or Uncle?

Well, Uncle, of course. He's a paratrooper. See?

And when did you take basic training?

And when did your bad ear get well?

And how come you're not quarantined?

I didn't take any basic training and I didn't get quarantined.

I suppose all they did was to slap a uniform on you

and say, "Okay, you're a soldier."

That's exactly... Now, see here, Mr. White,

I don't like your tone.

And I don't like what's going on here.

HAP: But, Mr. White...

Hold up those Hap Smith contracts, Miss Brady.

Now, wait a minute! I'm gonna be in the show!

Oh, no, you're not.

I refuse to let you be a deserter.

I'm not gonna be a deserter.

Everybody's talkin' so fast, I'm in a tizzy.

Now, if you'll just be quiet for a minute, maybe I can explain.

I thought I'd find you here.

Why, Chick, what are you doin' in town?

I'm doin' his booking for the time being.

Now, come on, we'll miss our train.

Just a minute.

You can at least let him say goodbye.

I don't wanna say goodbye.

Don't you know when you leave a lady, it's polite to say goodbye?

And when you meet a lady, it's customary to say hello.

I'm Chick Allen.

Hello. I'm Betsy Carver.

I've heard a lot about you, Chick, and...

Well, I'm awfully glad that you and Hap are in the same outfit.

So am I. I don't know what we'd do without good old Hap.

Tell her how I became a paratrooper in one easy lesson.

You will look after him, won't you?

Won't let him out of my sight for a minute.

He's like a brother to me.

I'd like to write to his sister,

let her know how he's doin'.

In fact, after General Timmons sees Hap at Camp Crutcher,

you two may be able to work in White's show, after all.

Do you think you could get him a leave of absence?

I'll use my influence.

Meanwhile you and I will have to keep in touch with each other.

Of course.

Well, I'll go tell Mr. White. Goodbye.

Bye.

Bye, Hap.

I told you, I don't wanna say goodbye,

and I don't wanna go back to the camp.

And I don't want any part of army life.

Hap, you don't know what you're saying.

When you talk like that, you sound like

you didn't belong in that uniform.

That's exactly what I'm tryin' to tell you!

Come on, Hap. There's a lot of people waitin' to talk to you.

Well, I don't wanna talk to them.

I hate people!

ALL: ♪ Gonna fly, fly away

♪ Fly over the mountain

♪ Gonna fly, fly away

♪ Fly over the sea

♪ Gonna keep flying around

♪ And never Never come down

♪ 'Cause the big blue sky Is the place for me

CHICK: ♪ Got a gal out in WyomingCHORUS: ♪ Yeah?

♪ And a gal in Tennessee ♪ Uh-huh

♪ One thing they've got in common

♪ They want no part of me ♪ No?

♪ Oh, a gal Here on Earth

♪ Is more trouble Than she's worth

♪ So I'll leave them all behind, yessiree

ALL: ♪ Yessiree

CHICK: ♪ Gonna fly ALL: ♪ Fly away

♪ Fly away ♪ Over the mountain

♪ Over the mountain

ALL: ♪ Gonna fly, fly away

♪ Fly over the sea

♪ Gonna keep flying around

♪ Flying around ♪ And never Never come down

ALL: ♪ 'Cause the big blue sky Is the place for me

CHICK: ♪ You will find me Playing leapfrog

♪ With the man Up in the moon

♪ Have myself A time each evening

♪ Sleep each day till noon

♪ And the bluebirds I'll bet

♪ Let me sing In their quartet

ALL: ♪ And we'll harmonize A barbershop tune

♪ Tune

CHORUS: ♪ Gonna fly Fly awayCHICK: ♪ Gonna fly away

♪ Fly over the mountain ♪ Over the mountain

♪ Gonna fly away ♪ Gonna fly, fly away

♪ Fly over the sea

♪ Gonna keep flying around

♪ Flying around ♪ And never Never come down

ALL: ♪ 'Cause the big blue sky Is the place for me

CHICK: ♪ Gonna hobnob With the angels

♪ Who could want A better crowd?

♪ Gonna dance All over heaven

♪ And boy Will I be proud

♪ Gonna play peekaboo

♪ With the stars Up in the blue

♪ And when I get tired I'll rest on a cloud

ALL: ♪ Gonna fly, fly away

♪ Fly over the mountain ♪ Fly away over the mountain

ALL: ♪ Fly away Fly away over the sea

♪ Gonna keep flying around

♪ And never Never come down

♪ 'Cause the big blue sky

♪ Is the place I want to be ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Gonna fly Over the sea

ALL: ♪ Yes The big blue sky

♪ Is the place for me

CHORUS: ♪ The big blue sky

♪ Is the place for me ♪

"The General was unable to see the show.

"So I shall continue to remain in hiding."

Hey, I'm writing a letter to Betsy tonight.

You want me to say hello for you?

No. Say goodbye from me to you.

Oh, now, look, Hap.

When we were working together,

you never wanted to quit after every show, did you?

No. Well, we're still doing our act together.

Only we're using different wardrobe.

You're givin' a great show.

Oh, thank you so much, sir.

So glad you liked it, sir,

because, you see, tonight I gave me farewell performance.

No, don't try and stop me, sir.

I should like to make me final exit

while the applause is still ringin' in me ears.

Now, look, Hap... Don't say a word, sir.

Just close your eyes. And when you open them, I shall be gone.

Oh, no. Oh, yes.

You can't. Why?

Military security.

Can't hear you. Don't want to. Leaving.

Staying.

Rip! Pull!

1,000, 2,000, 3,000.

Recover. Next man.

OFFICER: Bend your knees. Look straight ahead.

Lower your hands on the door.

Rip. Pull! Spring out.

1,000, 2,000, 3,000... Put your feet together.

Bring your hands around the end of the reserve. Around the end.

Around the end of reserve. Sit on your chest.

That's the way. Recover.Thank you.

MCCLUSKY: Men, as you know, this tower is designed

to teach you the proper body position

when exiting from the aircraft

and to give you the feel of the opening shock of the parachute.

Now, I know you guys have done this before,

so be sure you do it right

because I'll be waiting for you at the other end of the ride.

SOLDIERS: 1,000, 2,000, 3,000.

I don't like it. I want to go back down.

No, no. There's only one way down.

This way.

MCCLUSKY: This tower is to get you guys used to a jerk,

a real big jerk.

Just remember, Dolan, you've been given a little rubber ball.

Well, it ain't to play catch with.

It's to test your coordination.

Just remember, you got to hold onto it all through your fall.

'Cause if you drop it,

you got to do the whole thing over again.

Oh.

MCCLUSKY: Rest of the men, normal procedure.

All right, Dolan.

I want to see that ball in your hand when you get down here.

My heart ain't in it. It's up here.

Sarge, we better have the men sound off their names.

Hold it!

Well, that's me.

1,000, 2,000, 3,000. Look out!

Chick!

Chick!

HAP: Oh-ho-ho!

You! Come here!

HAP: Huh?

What's the matter? Didn't you hear me say hold it?

Huh? I mean, sure.

Oh, I thought you said, "Dolan."

You'll have to do it all over again.

Do it all over?

Yeah. You dropped the ball.

No, I didn't, Sarge. See?

Well, you're, uh...

You're clowning around, but you come through like a trooper.

Oh, yeah. I've been a trouper all my life.

See, this ball is stuck to my hand like it was glued.

Oh, you don't have to do it over again.

Oh, thanks a lot, Sarge. Thank you.

Thanks, Sergeant.

MAN: Everybody sound off

just as soon as you hit the ground. What do you say?

SOLDIERS: Yeah!

MAN: Rigs are coming down. You boys ready to rig 'em up?

So, all the jumpers, get shoulder-to-shoulder.

Riggers, get shoulder-to-shoulder with your jumpers.

Let's move on these rigs, on the double, and rig 'em up.

Now, which army is coming in first?

MAN: It's gonna be a close call.

We're gonna see which one it's gonna be.

Oh, no!

MCCLUSKY: Shape up, Dolan!

Come on now.

I'm not gonna do that.

Okay.

If it'll make you any happier,

you don't have to jump.

I don't have to jump?

You're not kidding me?

I guarantee it. After all, I'm your chum.

My friend. Your pal.

I don't have to jump.

I don't have to jump.

MCCLUSKY: Quick time. March!

Platoon, halt!

MCCLUSKY: Right face!

At ease.

Okay, Allen, you take on three.

Dolan, you come with me.

Hello.

Uh, what are you fellas fussin' around about?

Oh, no, you don't! I mean, I can't.

Chick said I didn't have to jump.

That's right, you don't have to jump.

This just takes you up, then drops you.

Oh, fine.

Then I don't have to jump.

That's nice. See, I don't have to jump.

This thing just takes me up and drops me?

Chick! Let me down!

I'm scared. Chick!

Dolan, you're a card.

Well, what goes up must come down.

Chick!

HAP: It's so high.

Chick! You said I didn't have to jump.

Ma!

Oh...

Ah...

Chick!

Ma! Ma!

HAP: Ma, help!

Oh, it's so high.

I'll be a good boy. I promise.

Let me down.

Sarge!

Oh, I'm scared, Chick.

Chick! Please help me!

Oh, please help me!

Oh, I'm scared, Chick!

Ma! Ma!

Chick! Oh, Chick!

Where's Hap? Uh, Dolan? Anyone see him land?

Hey, Dolan.

Chick! Chick!

Chick!

Chick!

Uh...

Hey, I'm sorry, fellas.

I didn't ask to become a corporal.

And I didn't ask Sergeant McClusky to like me, either.

And I certainly didn't ask him to go out

and get me this 48-hour pass.

48-hour pass?

Oh, you can't use that. You won't come back.

I-I-I'll say hello to Betsy for you.

All right, men, cover the exits.

Cover the exits.

You aren't goin' anyplace. Sit down.

Wait a minute.

I'm a corporal, remember?

And a private is not supposed to tell a corporal what to do.

Come on, fellas, now stop foolin' around.

I'm a corporal. Attention!

Come on, fellas.

Attention, fellas.

Attention!

Forward march! One, two, three...

No. March.

We're gonna march together.

All right? March.

Attention.

Forward. Double-time. Here.

One, two, three, four.

Come on, suck in those stomachs.

Stick out the chest.

That's it. Here we go!

Marching along together.

One, two, three, four.

Oh, you fellas don't play fair.

Knock it off.

Well, at least he paid me some attention.

All right. Give me the pass.No.

Give me the pass. Oh, no.

Give me the pass!

Did you have a nice trip?

SOLDIER 1: Come on, gang. Lengthen it out there.

After him!

Soldier 2: Out the back way! After him!

Come on, Kelsey!

Wait a minute.

Go get your hats.

Any time a patient's to be operated on,

don't leave him in the hall.

But I... No arguments.

Get him to the operating room.

DOCTOR: No visitors. Out.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

What's goin' on here?

Oh, oh, nothing, Sarge.

I just stopped in for a Band-Aid.

You'll miss your train if you don't hurry.

Come on, I'll give you a lift to the station.

Oh, fine. Thanks, Sarge. 'Cause I wouldn't want to miss my train.

These fellows don't have their hats.

Go get your hats.

Okay, Sarge.

Yes, Sarge.

Shall we go?

Hey, buddy, you got a match?

Hello, Chick.

I've been lookin' all over for you.

Where do you keep disappearing to?

Look how far I had to come this time to find you.

Oh, sure, sure.

You know, if I hadn't won myself a pass in a fast crap game,

you wouldn't have found me at all.

And that would've been more than I could bear.

How did you find me so fast?

I knew you'd run right straight to Betsy.

Oh, sure, but I was gonna tell her all about you, Chick.

Oh, that's fine.

Now, when you're through doin' this,

you and I will go back to camp together.

And in the meantime, I won't let you

out of my sight for one minute.

'Cause I don't trust you! Now, come on!

Where we goin'?

Servicemen's Center.

What we goin' there for?

That's where Betsy is. She runs a show there.

Uh, Chick, you know, I don't want to spoil it for you two kids.

I mean... Well, you know, three is a crowd.

I thought maybe I could meet you someplace later,

like maybe Denver.

Okay? I'll see you.

Did you have a nice trip?

Why didn't you write? I was busy.

Hi. Hi.

What outfit you with, soldier?

Pretty good outfit.

What's the matter, you havin' trouble?

Tough beard.

Maybe you're usin' the wrong kind of a razor.

This is the only kind.

Here, I'll show you.

I've been usin' this razor for 23 years.

For the fastest, cleanest, smoothest shave.

You can't beat it.

Now the neck. Lift the head.

Ain't I seen you somewhere before?

I don't think so, Sarge.

You got the kind of a face a guy can't forget.

Wait a minute.

The train.

The face on the train.

Who are you?

MCCLUSKY: Come on! Who are you?

What's your name, soldier?

My name is...

I can't remember.

Oh, no? Well, maybe G2 will refresh your memory.

Take charge, you two. He's going to the guardhouse.

Right, Sarge. Right, Sarge.

Come along, you.

Wait a minute!

What's this?

Oh, those are just notes for my book.

Oh, yeah?

"Having learned all there was to know about the 105 millimeter gun,

"I had myself transferred to the paratroops."

This guy is a spy.

I'm no spy, Sarge! I'm...

I don't remember a thing.

You will when we get through with you.

Come on!

We got to locate Chick and tell him right away.

Let's go!

Come on, you dirty spy!

I'm no spy.

Where were you born?

Nebraska.

What part? All of me.

OFFICER 1: Your age.

Twenty-four.

OFFICER 2: Your name? Do...

Don't remember.

WOMAN: Don't throw away the stub coupons.

You may be the lucky winner.

CHICK: ♪ I know a dream

♪ When I see one

♪ For I'm a dreamer You know

♪ I know a dream

♪ When I hold one

♪ Do you mind

♪ If I never let you go?

♪ I'm so afraid

♪ If I kiss you

♪ You'll vanish

♪ As dreams always do

♪ But make no mistake

♪ Although I'm wide awake

♪ I know a dream

♪ When I see one

♪ And I see one

♪ When I look at you ♪

Oh, darling, this is just wonderful.

Sure is. You know what? What?

When this thing's all over and we're out of uniform,

we're gonna form a new act. Just you, Hap and me.

The three of us?

The three of us. Partners all the way.

In everything?

Except when we say good night.

Then it's just the two of us, you and me.

That'll be much better.

What are you in for?

You don't have to talk if you don't wanna.

Well? Wasn't there, either.

Did you try O'Hoolihan's Bar?Yep.

Dirty Frankie's? Yep.

The Stork Club? Ye... Now, look.

We got to find him before he brings Hap back.

There's still only room for one Dogface Dolan.

Yeah, you're right.

Hey, you there! Turn down that radio!

Radio? What's that?

Attention, everybody.

Hey, Kelsey, look who's on TV.

BETSY: Tonight we have two young paratroopers

that are going to entertain us.

So let's give them a big hand.

Servicemen's Center.

♪ Keep a little dream handy

♪ Tell me why And I'll try

♪ For a melancholy day

♪ Listen, Arabella Dream about another fella

♪ Life is ice cream And candy

♪ Chocolate filler Or vanilla

♪ For a dreamer So they say

♪ I'm no good at dreams I just fall asleep It seems

♪ When a gray cloud

♪ Keep the sun from shining

♪ Say, sing it now

♪ You can dream up ♪ Sing that pretty song

♪ A sterling, sterling ♪ Sing it, now Let's hear it

♪ So keep that little

♪ Dream handy

♪ You better had Or I'll be mad

♪ And dream Your cares away

♪ Like Rip van Winkle

♪ And dream Your cares away

♪ Say nighty-nighty

♪ Dream your cares away

♪ It's time for bed now

♪ And dream Your cares away

♪ And dream Your cares away ♪

Oh, you were wonderful, both of you.

I thought you said both of us.

Oh!

Oh, thanks a heap.

Uh, which one of you is Private Allen?

I am. There's a telephone call for you.

They say it's very important.

Oh, thanks.

Excuse me.

I think you're just terribly amusing.

Uh-oh.

You're cute.

You're not so bad yourself.

I hope you're the lucky winner tonight.

Mmm.

"1777."

What a perfectly darling little old number.

Hmm.

I'll think of something.

Excuse me. But I've got to talk to Hap right away.

Come on. Oh!

They got Dogface.

They got Dogface?

Now, listen, don't get excited. It's really very simple.

First thing you do is get out of this uniform. Beat it. Get lost.

Forget the whole thing ever happened, you understand?

Now, listen to me.

If I'm lucky... Yeah?

...maybe they'll only give me 30 or 40 years

in Alcatraz.

Thirty or 40 years?

Hap? Huh?

This is it.

Chick, t-this is what?

This is it.

Whoa.

Well, Chick, I-I-I only have one thing to say.

What is it, pal?

Bye!

Hey, soldier!

BETSY: Quiet!

Quiet, everybody.

As you know, each week our sponsors donate their products

to some lucky person in the service.

So look closely at your stubs

and you may be the fortunate winner. Julie.

The lucky ticket tonight is 17...

1777.

The winner. Here he is.

I didn't do nothing, fellas! I'm innocent!

Oh, I knew you'd win!

Well?

It's very confusing, sir. His fingerprints check with the records.

And Lieutenant Green knows him as Private Dolan,

a regular member of the company.

Well, then, why the confusion?

Sergeant McClusky insists he never saw the man before

except possibly for a brief instant on the train.

Perhaps we'd better have a talk with the other Dolan.

Sir, this report just came in.

Gentlemen, here's what we've been waiting for.

This command will move tomorrow

for combined maneuvers under the corps command.

Yes, sir. TIMMONS: Put Dolan under heavy guard.

I'm afraid we'll have to let his case wait.

Right. We're going to beat General Bond

if it's the last thing we ever do.

Ted, send down the word to all commands.

And order all leaves and passes canceled immediately.

Right, sir. Sir.

And just the thing, for any hour of the day or night,

direct from the salons of Paris,

this exquisite sheer silk negligee!

Wrap it up. I'll take it.

And now, best of all...

I'm sorry to interrupt, but this is important.

Oh, sure.

"Attention, all men of the airborne division.

"Return immediately.

"All passes and furloughs are hereby canceled.

"By order of Brigadier General W.W. Timmons, commanding."

Uh-oh. Oh, no, you don't.

Oh, no, you don't.

The last prize is the best of all.

Oh, all right. All right. What is it?

Through the courtesy of Jack Saper and Company,

and in cooperation with the New York City Police Department,

a police escort to the train that takes you right back to camp.

Left face!

Forward march!

Hey, Chick!

Bye!

Yep, it's maneuvers, all right.

Yeah, but I don't want to...Oh, but it's okay.

We'll get you lost somehow.

Oh, what are we gonna do?

There's nothin' to it.

You get on a plane, you go up 20,000 feet, jump out,

and the chute opens automatically.

Yeah, what if it doesn't open?

Then you pull your reserve parachute.

Well, what if that doesn't open?

Well, we haven't had a complaint yet

from a guy whose chute didn't open.

Oh.

MAN: All right, men.

Start loading into your trucks.

HAP: Okay, Chick, I'll be brave about it.

I-I-I'll go up in a plane.Attaboy.

But I won't jump.

Oh, yes, you will.

Oh, no, I won't.

Oh, yes, you will!

Oh, no, I won't!

Now what?

Oh, I hurt my ankle.

What's the matter, Dolan?

Ow. I hurt my ankle.

Well, that's too bad.

But I'll jump just the same, Sarge.

No, you won't. I'm not gonna take the chance

of anything happening to one of my best men.

Oh, thank you, Sarge.

I'll tell you what.

You go over to the DZ and meet the recovery detail,

and help them bring the chutes back.

That is, if the ankle doesn't feel too badly.

Oh, don't worry about me, Sarge.

I'll make it all right.

Good.

I told you I wouldn't have to jump.

Sarge! Sarge!

Yeah? Uh, but you will let me jump tomorrow?

We'll see.

It all depends on how the ankle is.

Oh, thank you, Sarge.

Hey, what's the matter with Hap? He's goin' in the wrong direction.

Let him go. The further away he is from McClusky and the army,

the better off he is.

Yeah, but he's going toward the enemy lines. They'll take him prisoner.

Look, with his brains, it'll just be a short time before he's captured.

Has he had the extensive training we've had? No.

He doesn't know the first thing about combat, camouflage or patrolling.

How could he?

They'll grab that poor kid

the first time he turns around.

Well, that was a short battle.

Move on, boys. Move on.

Grab him!

Aah!

Who's there?

Oh, no!

Get going. Oh!

Haw! Look who's a prisoner.

SOLDIER: Well, another one of Timmons' paratroopers.

What are you doin' here?

I'm a war correspondent for the Weehawken Daily Messenger.

What do you think I'm doin' here?

SOLDIER: Get in there with the others.

Take these men to the stockades.

You and you, come with me.

All right, you Joes, let's go. Come on, move out. Move out.

Hey, soldier, can't you let me go?

I won't go back to my side.

Are you crazy, or do you think I am?

Oh, go ahead, let the kid go. I won't tell.

Get goin' and put your hands on your heads.

Oh, Chick, what am I gonna do?

Oh, let me go, will you?

Oh, here's your gun.

EVANS: Hey, that was quick work, Corporal.Oh, thank you.

KELSEY: What do we do with this guy?

Uh, well, tie him up and do away with him.

Anything you say, Corporal.

Thank you.

Now's your chance to take off.

Huh? Take off.

Oh, yeah. Well, which way is our side?

That way. I'm goin' this way.

No, Corporal. It's no good if you're captured by the enemy.

Listen, these paratroops know how to operate behind enemy lines.

We better stick with this guy or we're dead pigeons.

That might be all right with you guys, but we're headin' down that road.

That's what you think, Private.

Unless you got a lot more rank than you're showin', you better come with us.

Yeah, but he's not even a...

Not even what?

Nothin'.

He didn't say nothin'. That's better. Let's go.

And remember, he's in charge.

I'm in charge.

Okay, this way, men. Onward.

You know, I think we've built ourselves a monster.

Well, I think you're right.

General Bond, sir. Word has been received

that our tank battalion is approaching the Rock River.

Head of column should be at the bridge by 11:50, sir.

That's what I call perfect timing.

Before the day's over, we'll have old man Timmons

and his paratroops run right out of the state.

Yes, sir.

Ooh! Ooh!

Psst! Psst! Psst!

We'd make much better time if we had that car.

CHICK: How you gonna get it?

Ha-ha. You think I'm gonna tell you?

The purpose of these maneuvers

are to make you men think for yourselves.

How would you get it?

Go behind the tent, create a diversion, then you get the jeep.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Go ahead, create a diversion.

Go ahead.

Call my driver. I'm gonna join Colonel Jackson at Rock River bridge.

I wanna be with the column when they surprise Timmons.

Yes, sir. Driver!

SOLDIER 1: Let's go!

SOLDIER 2: All right, men, spread out to the left.

Hey, I thought I got rid of you guys.

Oh, well, I'm off to town.

I hope you don't mind.

I certainly do!

Well, that's too bad about you.

Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir.

Look out! Look out! They'll hit us!

Hey, soldier! Bring back that vehicle!

Yes, sir!

Yes, sir. What's wrong with you, driver?

Now, take me to the Rock River bridge

and this time, stay on the road.

Yes, sir.

Give me that wheel!

Oh, no, no! Put it back, you birdbrain.

BOND: Stop this car.

He's down there, sir.

Come out of there!

Come out of there. You're captured.

Hold it. What's in that bag there?

I don't know.

Grenades.

Grenades?

UMPIRE: Release that man.

The way these grenades were placed, they wrecked this bridge.

Your tank column can't cross, General.

The bridge has been destroyed by Timmons' paratroops.

Now, see here... UMPIRE: I can't listen to you, General.

Theoretically, you have been blown up, too.

Gee, I'm sorry, General.Oh!

Spoilsport! Spoilsport!

Say, he's a sore loser.

I'll tell him. He's my father.

Your father?

How can I blow up a bridge

with a grenade that don't go off?

SOLDIER: Blowing up the bridge won the victory for General Timmons' forces.

So you men are being released.

Now what?

I caught him goin' the wrong way.

Well, he didn't know maneuvers were over.

I didn't know.

He was still lookin' for the enemy.

Oh, he didn't know. He was lost.

And I suppose he thought he'd find them at the railroad station.

The wha...

Attention! At ease.

Is the soldier who took General Bond's jeep, here?

Me.

General Timmons wants to see you.

CHICK: Oh, this is it.

Here's the man you've been looking for, General.

That's all, Captain.

Come in. Come in, Corporal.

So you're the man who stole the car and blew up the bridge.

Oh, y-yes, sir, but-but I'd like

to make a clean breast of things, sir.

You-You see, it all started the night of the army show.

Your name is...

Well, you know me as Dolan, sir,

but my real name is Smith,

Hap Smith, and I'm a nightclub entertainer.

I remember you.

Did you say your name is not Dolan?

That's right, sir.

Uh, the real Dolan's in the guardhouse.

Do you mean to say you're not in the army at all?

They wouldn't take me, sir, but I can hear very good now.

I think my ear popped w-when I took that tower jump.

Well, young man, as I see it,

you're either going to be a corporal named Smith,

whose daring heroism has given me the last laugh on General Bond,

or a civilian.

Make that condemned prisoner

who's about to eat his last meal before going to the gallows.

Now, I leave the choice entirely up to you.

Which one are you?

Let me see.

Come on.

Well, now that I'm A-one, I mean, 1-A,

I'd like to stay with the paratroopers

if it's all right with you, sir.

Oh, I think that can be arranged.

After all, in the interests of preserving military secrecy,

you should be sworn in as soon as possible,

even if we have to shoot you later.

Oh! Oh.

Don't be surprised if he comes out a Brigadier General.

Could be.

From one through 16, left to right, count off.

HAP: Sixteen.

On your feet!

CAPTAIN: Face to your right!

And load out!

My ears feel like they're gonna pop.

Well, we've been flyin' at a pretty high altitude,

but we're comin' down now for the jump.

Good.

I'm gonna wait till we're about three feet from the ground.

Corporal Smith.

It's about time you started taking over

some of the responsibilities now.

You're static jumpmaster and you don't have to jump.

Right.

Now, from here on in, anything can happen.

All right, you men, get ready.

Stand up!

HAP: Hook up!

Check your equipment.

Now, you guys have been in the game

long enough to know the routine.

Stand in the door.

Don't be all day about it. Get movin'!

Go!

1,000, 2,000...

SOLDIER: 1,000, 2,000, 3,000.

Chick, be my guest.

CHICK: 1,000...

Sorry I can't be with you this time!

HAP:

Hey, he hasn't any chute on!

Chick!

Ma! Ma! Ma!

CHICK: What are you doin' up there?

What are you doin' down there?

Come down here.

What? I said come down here.

All right.

Chick!

Chick!

Chick! Chick!

Come down here!

Chick!

Chick!

You do me a favor?

What? Let go.

Let go? Oh!

HAP: Oh! Hold on.

Chick! Chick!

Chick! Hold on!

Hold... Hold... Hold on!

Chick! Chick!

Oh, Chick! Chick!

Chick! Chick!

Chick!

Chick!

Chick, Chick, I can't hold on no more.

All right, let go.

My chum.

My friend. My pal.

After what we've been through, nothing can separate us.

That's right.

Chick! Chick!

Bye!