Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull M_I_SForEver

Can I get an espresso, please?

Thank you very much.

Hello, no, it's delicious. Thank you.

Oh, my God!

Hey! Oh, it's so good to see you.

- I know. - I didn't know you're in town.

Oh, yeah, just for a couple weeks.

And I have a few minutes. Can I sit down?

Oh, yeah, please.

I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. How's life?

It's good, um, life is good.

Were you as not ready to graduate as I was?

Oh, my gosh, no, it flew by.

Yeah, but knowing you, you already have a five-step plan for conquering the world.

What are you up to?

Um, no, I...

I'm waiting to hear back from a, uh, journalism fellowship in New York.

Oh, which one? I have a friend with the Times.

Oh, wow. No. Um, it's called LifeStars.

You probably haven't heard of it.

It's, um, it's an online publication.

I'm probably not gonna get it, anyway.

No, I mean, you will be running that place in less than a year.

Um, what about you, though?

You're, uh, you're going to London?

You have a coding job or something? I saw on Facebook.

Yeah, complex systems analysis.

It's... it's with a startup but I'm so excited, but absolutely terrifying.

No, that's... that's incredible. I'm sure you'll be fine.

Oh, shit. I'm sorry, I have to go.

Yeah, okay.

I feel bad we haven't kept in touch.

Yeah, I know. I'm so sorry.

No, it's not your fault. We've both been bad.

Yeah. But we'll have to fix that and we have to hang out before I leave, okay?

- Yes, definitely. I'll text you. - Bye.

Hi, uh, can I get a large popcorn

and a little bitchboy who won't leave early every time we go out, please?

I told you I had to work early.

Dude, you missed it.

That party was off the chain, okay?

Are people still saying that?

I mean, high schoolers do.

Them kids go hard, okay?

Can't get emphasis on kids.

Yo, did you see Tasha Hendrix last night?

- Oh, my God, that body just looks so... - Seventeen.

I mean, yeah. But did you see her?

You're so gross.

Oh, come on, dude. I mean...

Okay, five years is not that big of an age difference, right?

I mean how far apart are your parents?

Exactly the same age.

We've literally had this conversation before.

Really?

Damn.

They look good.

Yo, did you hear that Bradley is moving to Austin too?

No way!

Totally forgot about that guy.

Yeah, probably because he stopped doing parties.

- Yeah, well I don't blame him after how the last one ended. - Oh, true.

Yo, why haven't we given your sister more shit about that?

I wouldn't do that, dude. She's still pretty butthurt over it.

Come on, that was four years ago.

Yeah, it was probably the worst night of my life.

Dude, it's one of the coolest things about you.

No, it was not cool.

You should have seen my dad's face when he picked me up at the police station.

It was a nightmare.

Well, on the bright side, you're over 21 now, so clubs won't really be an issue.

I know. It's just that was right after high school graduation

and if right after college graduation, I do the same thing,

I just get trashed again, it's like I didn't learn my lesson, you know?

Don't give me that symbolic shit. We're celebrating.

I'm sure Barbara will get trash with me.

I would not count on that.

You don't mind that I invited her, do you?

Oh, no, not at all. More the merrier.

Plus, childhood friends say a lot about a person.

Oh, yeah? Did you learn that in the one psych class you actually went to?

Ha-ha.

It was kind of weird to see her again. It's just been so long.

That's what happens. Distance makes distance.

- Deep. - Yeah, I thought so.

This is her neighborhood.

How's Stepford Wives?

- Hey, Fran. - Hey.

- Hey, you must be Lauren. - Yeah. I've heard so much about you.

Sorry, I claimed shotgun.

Oh, don't worry about it.

We can swap seats at Marcos.

Yes, Marcos. Is that place still even open?

I don't know, I guess we'll find out.

Point is, I had a good time.

You always have a good time.

Thanks.

into a movie?

Nope.

- Why not? - Manager's cracking down.

- Weak shit, dude. - Alright.

Hey, remember, we're leaving early tomorrow.

- How early? - Real early.

So, what exactly is outdoor education?

I'm so glad you asked.

Okay, so you know, in middle school when you would go to those big parks

- with high ropes and obstacles and stuff? - Yeah.

And by the end, you'd overcome some tough obstacle as a team

in an enriching and natural way led by a team of fun and hip counselors?

Sure.

Well, you are talking to the hippest and funnest new member of Colorado Springs Outbacks.

It's camp. She's a glorified camp counselor.

An outdoor educator at an outdoor education facility.

Is that it?

No, that's the guest house.

We never really used it much.

Is somebody living there?

I don't know.

My parents have been trying to sell it forever. Maybe they finally did.

Ah, here we are.

It smells the exact same.

Oh, this place is creepy.

Hey, nana was eccentric.

When was the last time you guys came up here?

Um, ninth, maybe tenth grade. I don't know.

But Hal and I used to bring friends up here like every summer.

And still think this place is creepy?

My friends, you mean me and Terry.

Remember that one time when we tried to bring Anna?

- My God, that was a nightmare. - Yeah.

Hal?

- Yo, what up Fran, Fran? - What the hell are you guys doing here?

What are you doing here?

Spending a weekend with my friends.

Well, I'll be darned, I guess we double bugged.

No, Hal, you guys cannot stay here.

We're not leaving.

Hal, I've been planning this trip for ages.

Uh...

Okay, okay, look, relax, Francis the Radio.

How do you know Hal?

He visited Francis, sophomore year.

I... I don't know, he seems pretty cool.

Yeah, but when he and Terry get together, they can kind of be a lot.

I brought sparklers.

Yo, Francis the Radio.

- You saw what I did there? That's good, okay. - Kind of...

What's the deal?

They're staying.

- Hey, Barb. - Hal, hey.

You must be Lauren.

And you must be the infamous Terry.

They call me T-unit.

Yeah. No one calls him T-unit.

Hey, Lauren.

Hey, Hal.

Uh, I'm sorry to rain on your guys' parade or Francis' parade, at least.

Uh, she'll cool off. It might help if you guys don't pull shit like that though.

- Fair. - I'm gonna go check on her.

Yeah, good call.

Can you believe him?

Francis, it's totally not a big deal.

No, I mean, first, they show up here

and then they pull that stupid thing with the masks.

Yeah, but come on, that was nothing new.

Yeah. Well, you would have thought that they would have grown up by now.

Francis, look, you've... Calm down, okay? Just look at me.

No, I know, it's just annoying because I had this whole plan for the weekend and...

Now it's gonna be a little different and that's okay, right?

Look, you can either be upset about it and sulk away the weekend

or you can try to be nice and maybe we'll end up having a great time.

I doubt that.

Come on, didn't you guys say you came here all the time together?

Yeah, when we were kids.

And it was kind of fun, wasn't it, Barb?

I mean, come on, we had a good time.

Francis.

- Yeah, we had fun. - Look, there you go, problem solved.

I am excited to be back.

Ooh Barb, we have to go camping at Black Ridge Rock.

Oh, mm-hmm.

And, Lauren, you can teach everyone along the way

about everything you learned in your botany class.

Okay, you know what, that class was awesome

and I'll have you know that tree identification

is the most important part of conservation.

- Did you just pick that up or... - No, actually it was our motto.

We all got it tattooed on our butts.

- Barb, do you want to see? - No, Ma'am.

Alright, I'm gonna go check out the house. You wanna come?

Uh, no, I'll be down in a sec.

I'm really glad you're here.

- Yeah, thanks for inviting me. - Yeah, of course.

I'm sorry about all of the drama.

I was really looking forward to you and Lauren getting to know each other.

Sorry. Um, one second.

Uh, email sent.

Okay. Okay, don't worry about it. It's fine.

Hey, have you heard back from that website yet?

Oh, um, no, I haven't.

But I'm sure I'll hear something soon.

Hey, I have something to show you.

Oh, my God!

- The power bands. - Yeah, yeah, I remember.

Though they are definitely a lot less stylish than I remember.

- Um, ouch, I worked really hard on these. - Uh, okay.

Plus, I think it was less about the appearance and more about the superpowers.

Oh, gosh, yeah, what did they give us? They gave us immunity to...

We were immune to hypnosis and we could read each other's minds.

- Well, you think they still work? - Um, yeah, let's try it.

Okay.

You are thinking, "What the hell did I get myself into this weekend?"

Uncanny.

But for real, I really am glad to be back.

Me, too.

Oh, my gosh, I remember this one time I tried to show them to Karen Salvenkin.

I was trying to impress her.

- You did? - Yep.

Didn't work at all. So embarrassing.

God, we're so dumb.

Yeah, we were.

- Do you remember that time... - Oh, my God!

What?

- I got that apartment in London that I wanted. - Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh, this place is beautiful and the location is just perfect.

Sorry, I have to text Mia. She's gonna flip.

So that's Lauren, huh?

- Yep. - She seems alright.

- Just alright? - Yeah, just alright.

Yo, Hal, listen.

You never got to fully experience how fine some of these college girls are.

Whatever.

She is awesome though.

- Alright. Hey, who you texting? - Nobody.

Yeah, I'm gonna get another beer.

- Do you want one? - Yeah.

Okay.

- Hey, what's up? - Hey.

Nothing.

- Just getting settled. - Mm-hm.

- Want a beer? - Sure.

Cheers.

So, uh, do you guys have plans?

Knowing Francis, probably.

You guys?

- Rarely. - Yo, look what I found.

Oh, my God, is that beans?

- Yeah. - What's beans?

Oh, it's this game we used to play all the time when we came up here.

So much fun.

- Where did you find that? - In one of these boxes.

God, I can't believe mama's gonna give that away.

I bet there's a bunch of cool shit up here.

What's with all these books?

Oh, nana was really into the supernatural.

There's a bunch of, uh, local lore in this area, disappearances, stuff like that.

Jeez.

Oh, my God, is that you and nana?

Yeah.

Oh, you guys think these pickles are still good?

Definitely not.

What are you guys doing?

Oh, Frannie, come check it out.

There's a bunch of cool stuff in here.

Yo, guys, come and take a look at this.

Oh, my God.

Look at this.

Oh, that must have been from our first summer.

What is this?

Oh, you found Little Babs.

Little Babs?

Nana got it at a local pawn shop.

She thought it protected the house against evil spirits.

And she called it Little Babs?

No, no, no, no, we called it Little Babs. She hated that.

It's disrespectful to the spirits.

Oh, my God, please be careful with that.

Yeah, yeah, Terry, we don't want to unleash anything.

Nana was convinced that the house was haunted.

Now, did she actually believe that or did she just want to scare Barb?

God, I wasn't scared.

Yeah, that's why we had to keep that thing next to your bed anytime you were here.

- You know what? - I mean, that's legit.

What?

Guys, spirits are real.

My cousin's clairvoyant and she talks to them all the time.

I did not know you were one of those people.

Yeah, I had no idea that you were superstitious.

Okay, I'm not superstitious, I am just open to possibilities.

Oh, well, then you are going to love this.

Have you ever heard the story of the Lost Children?

Oh, no.

- Yes! - Oh, my God.

Only the origin of every subsequent paranormal occurrence in the nearby area.

No, it's a local legend that our nana told us that he had way too much fun with as a kid.

Legend, or forgotten history.

Legend.

Everybody gather round,

the time has come to tell the tale of the four lost children of Black Ridge Rock.

Ooh, you gonna love this.

Psst!

What?

I have a tale to tell, so...

Hey, can you sit down?

- Okay, alright. Alright. - I appreciate it, you know.

If you could just...

One dark and stormy night,

four orphaned children were traveling south

to their nearest living relative when they got lost.

As orphan children usually do, you know, they're always getting lost,

you just really have to... to watch out for that with orphan children.

And they stomped across Black Ridge Rock.

Just 10 minutes away from here.

That's where that waterfall is that I was telling you about.

You climb up a rope and then you can jump off into the water.

Maybe if we just save the anecdotes till the end, that would be great.

They were starved, out of rations.

When they suddenly came across some berries on the side of the road red as blood,

in their desperation and against their better judgment,

they gorge themselves until they could not eat any more.

Sounds like a bad call.

A very bad call... for the berries were poisonous

and slowly started to drive the children mad.

Indeed.

The next morning, a weary traveler approached their campsite.

All he wanted was some company, maybe a little bit of water.

But what he saw was worse than his worst nightmare.

What he saw chilled him to the bone and made his hair turn white.

What he saw made him do a little shiver like...

- What he saw... - They ate each other.

- The children ate each other. - Francis.

He found four piles of bloody skin and bones in a circle

- because the children ate each other. - But that's not all.

The bushes with the red berries started growing out of the carcasses

and from then on, any travelers who pass are slowly driven mad.

- You are the worst person I know. - Damn, Francis.

Okay, it's just a dumb story.

- Says the girl who'd be wailing every night after she heard it. - Okay, I wasn't wailing.

- Uh, aahhh! - Stop!

Didn't sound anything like that.

Well, I mean, there's some plot holes in this story.

- Oh, sorry, forgotten history. - Thank you.

I mean, how did they all eat each other just enough to leave skin and bones.

They had gone mad.

And why are orphan children traveling alone?

- I mean, where are Social Services? - Oh.

I thought you were into this kind of stuff.

Uh, I'm into the occult. This is kids' stuff.

Uh-oh. Kids' stuff.

Be careful, you don't want to offend the Lost Children.

Mm, I think we'll be okay as long as we've got Little Babs to keep us safe.

Lost Children!

No, Lauren, Lauren, calm down, it's just a clap light. It's a little finicky.

Oh.

You got me.

Oh, damn, broke Little Babs.

Oh, sorry.

Who the hell is that?

I'll get it. No, I got it.

Okay, you'll get it.

Uh, hi.

Hi.

Can I help you?

I'm James.

I just live right over there.

Oh, you're the new neighbor?

- Yeah. - Okay. Hi, I'm Francis.

Francis. Right.

Hello.

Looks like you're having a nice party.

Oh, um, we're just here for the weekend.

Well, I just...

I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I'm over there

and if you need anything, just let me know.

- Cool. Okay, thank you. Bye. - Okay.

- What was that all about? - That guy was the creepiest.

I don't know, I think he was trying to be nice.

Some old dude in a cabin in the middle of the woods trying to be nice.

Come on, he sounds like a psycho to me.

Are you calling nana a psycho?

I'm not gonna say nana was normal.

Okay, okay.

So, to make up for our Little Babs, I made us all some drinks.

Wooo, what have we here?

It's a Lauren originale.

It's equal parts vodka, rum, Red Bull

and a little secret something-something that I put inside.

Okay, so you mean, the maple syrup that's over there on the counter

next to all those things you just mixed it?

You suck.

So, wait, maple syrup? That sounds gnarly.

It's so good. Francis, tell him.

Um, yeah, it's definitely something.

Okay, if you say so.

Okay, wait, wait, wait, I want to make a toast.

- Barb. - Hmm?

Sorry.

I'm sorry. Sorry. Okay.

Okay, so we're all moving on to the real world, a little too real for real.

Uh-huh.

Sorry. That was me.

- Looks good to me. - Okay, you know what, I've an idea.

Phones in the bag.

- What? - Wait.

Oh, come on, we can go a weekend being unplugged.

Hal, can't go a weekend without Pornhub.

Okay, no, but seriously, what if I get an important email?

It can wait till Monday, right?

Come on, pass it around.

You know what, I'm in.

- Yes. - Fine.

Okay, me, too.

- Uh-huh. - Barb.

- Come on. - You ain't that special.

- Phone in the bag. Now. - There.

- Good job, Barbara Ann. - Shut up Beach Boys.

Alright.

Okay, no, whose was that?

- I guess we'll just wait and see. - No. Come on.

Seriously, come on.

Okay, no. If I can't read it, you can't either.

- Alright, alright. - Okay, here, here.

Alright.

Okay, I'm gonna put these someplace safe.

There, no more distractions.

Alright.

Alright. As I was saying, we're all moving on and up in the world, right.

Some of us moving cross-country.

Some of us even further than that.

And some of us are going to kick ass

at whatever publication is lucky enough to hire her.

Thanks.

- Oh, my God, thank you so much. - But for right now...

Okay, not you.

But for right now, we're all just here having a good time.

So, let's do this.

Get me a white girl wasted.

- Oh, my God. - It tastes like waffles.

Oh, my God.

Knock it down.

Yo, I'm gonna go smoke a cig.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

Oh.

Woo-hoo!

Oh.

I didn't know you smoked.

- I don't. - Huh.

Crazy night, huh?

Yeah.

What's everyone else up to?

- Fran's asleep. - Lauren still puking?

Mm-hmm.

But Hal's with her.

Ah...

- So, we're being back... - I think I'm gonna go to bed.

What?

I... I said I think I'm gonna go to bed.

Ah.

Goodnight, Terry.

Ocupado.

Ocu-potito.

So, I'm just bringing you some water.

Oh, thank you.

How you doing?

I think I'm almost done but just to be safe,

you should probably stay back because I don't want to puke on you.

I've had worse.

What, did someone like, shit on you or something?

Oh, God, that was so gross.

Oh, well, now I'm turned on.

Mm.

- You good? - Mm-hmm.

- Mm-hmm? - Mm-hmm.

- Okay. - Just give it a minute.

Really glad you and Terry are here.

Yeah. I am, too.

It's cool that you guys are so close.

I... I never had that.

What do you mean?

Well, my dad was in the military and we just moved around a lot.

I tried to stay close with people but like, after a year or so, we just...

I don't know.

How do you guys do it?

We grew up together.

Yeah, but like what do you talk about after all those years of just not talking?

I don't know, stupid shit, memes.

And now, you're going to Austin.

It's awesome.

Yeah.

What?

No, it... I'm...

It will be awesome.

It's just that, Terry's vision of Austin is us moving there

and kind of dicking around until we figure our lives out.

Sounds like fun but, um, I don't know, I've...

I've lived at home for three years.

I've sort of reached my limit of dicking around.

Hmm. And have you figured out your life yet?

Nope.

Oh...

Good morning.

There's a water bottle in my bag.

Oh, you're a lifesaver.

What are these?

Hmm?

Hal.

Oh, I don't want to hear it.

Fair.

Maybe we should get up.

Yeah.

Oh, Francis will kill me.

What?

We have to do this right now?

Could you please get up and help us?

- Very funny, Francis. - What?

No, no, no, no. We get it. You can do pranks, too.

Just kind of weird that you come into my room and put this in there.

I didn't make those. You did.

Uh, no.

- Okay, well someone did. - Mm-hmm.

What the hell is this?

Guys, come...

Is that supposed to scare us? I mean, it's not funny.

Come on, Francis, I'm not that obvious.

Alright, well, whoever's responsible, haha, very funny, you failed.

Hi. Nobody camping?

I don't see why not, right?

Well, if we do, y'all gonna have to give me a minute.

- Can you put some pants on? - Uh-uh.

That was a pretty good idea with those dolls.

How did you even make them?

Told you I didn't.

Yeah, but that was in front of them.

What? What's wrong?

You, uh, told the movie theater that you quitting yet?

No, they only need two weeks.

I mean, it's pretty soon.

When you're gonna tell it.

I haven't really thought about it.

- Can we not do this right now? - I mean, whatever.

So, if you get stung by it all you have to do is take...

Yo, how is it going back there?

Come on, admit it.

You had fun last night.

Yeah, but I'm still suffering the consequences.

And damn, baby come back to me

How do you know Bigfoot is not.

Oh, my God, this place is good.

Yeah, there's a waterfall, you can jump off of over there.

Cool.

So, is this where that scary story happened?

Yeah.

Weird. I don't see any haunted berries.

Well, you wouldn't be able to tell if they were haunted, so.

Whoo!

- Stupid. - He's alive!

Leave him alone.

And who's next?

Who-hoo.

Yeah!

I literally cannot believe you guys are drinking again.

Yeah, just the thought of alcohol makes me feel sick.

You guys are weak.

You guys are alcoholics.

I gotta say, Fran man, I see you go that hard since Bradley's graduation party.

It brings tears to my eyes, man.

Yeah, I can't say I look back on that night with as much fondness as you do.

So much for 20 percent.

It still might not rain.

- Terry, get your feet. - Sorry, sorry, sorry.

- Stop putting like all of your leg on my leg. - I am sorry.

I got it. God, you're so damn picky.

The tent is just a little bit small.

So now what?

As long as we're drinking, let's play a game.

Wait, are we drinking now?

- No, I'm game. - Yes. Come on, Barb.

What are we gonna play?

Um, never have I ever.

Oh, let's do it. Everybody get a drink.

No, no, thank you.

Come on, come on.

- Mm-mm. Mm-mm. - Come on, Barb.

Barb, you were the rallying queen in high school.

Fine.

Alright, Francis.

- Uh... - Don't be such a Francis...

Come on, Francis.

I'll make it weak. I'll make it weak.

Okay, fine.

Alright. T-Dog, start us off.

Uh, excuse me, that's T-unit to you.

Oh, my sincerest apologies.

Go ahead.

Never have I been to Mexico?

You have to drink.

Wow. Such uncultured slime.

Drink up, buddy.

Um, okay, never have I ever been in love?

Mm-mm.

Never have I ever seen Star Wars.

- What? - What?

Oh, God, I thought I liked you.

Alright, well, I haven't either, so.

What?

Alright, alright.

Um, never have I ever liked Jeremy Jacobs?

Oh, my God.

Who's Jeremy Jacobs?

He was this kid in our high school.

The weirdest kid in our high school.

No, he was not that weird. He just... Well, okay, he was into insects.

- Really into insects. - No.

Not exact, no, no. He... I didn't mean it like that.

- It's he just liked them, okay. But he was really cute. - Alright, alright.

- Drink, drink. - He was cute.

So cute.

Alright, it's your turn, Frannie.

Okay. Um, never have I ever...

- God, I suck at this game... - Oh.

Never have I ever failed a class?

Failed.

Alright, alright, alright, alright.

Chill, chill, that was freshman vile.

Well, you know what, never have I ever cared about failing a class.

I'm proud of that.

Whatever.

Okay. Um, never have I ever graduated college?

Oh, nice. Okay.

Okay. Never have I ever had a one-night stand.

Excuse me, Sir, what about Elsa?

Uh, that was two nights.

Oh. Um, never have I ever puked from drinking.

Damn.

Okay, yeah, last night was not my proudest moment.

At least we had a good time though, alright?

No, we had a good time, everybody.

Never have I ever been caught masturbating in the middle school locker room.

Whoa.

How are you gonna say that in front of people?

- Drink, Hal. - I'm drinking, Francis.

Oh, come on, guys.

Alright, come on now. Never have...

Alright, never have I ever been arrested?

- Hal. - Hey, you skipped me, man.

Shut up, okay?

You're a jerk.

Okay, hey, alright, alright, alright...

- I'm so sorry, did I hurt your feelings? - Look, never have I ever...

- Stop. Stop. - No, you know what, I think I'm done.

- Hey, Francis, come on. - Are you kidding me?

No, everyone, stop. Never have I ever been to the Mojave Desert?

- What? - No one's been to the Mojave Desert, Terry.

Okay, everyone can chill. I'm just trying to drink, okay.

Okay, wait, wait. Francis, I have a good one. Just wait a second.

Never have I ever had sex with someone in this group?

Obviously, we've never had s...

- What the fuck? - Wait, what? When did this happen?

How could you not tell me this?

Barb, how could you not tell me about this?

It was a complicated situation.

It happened after Bradley's party.

Wait, what?

We bolted together after the cops showed up. One thing led to another.

Look, it was a one-time thing, okay.

- It's not that big of a deal, alright? - Busted.

Wait, you bolted after the cops came?

Barb, you told me that you got sick and that's why you had to go home early.

Are you serious that's... that's what happened,

you ran when the cops came and left me there alone?

Yo, everybody ran when the cops showed up, Francis.

Yeah, but not everybody promised they would take care of me

on the first night that I was drinking in high school. I was really scared.

I literally don't know what to say right now.

It was a long time ago.

Okay, look, let's just play something else, alright? I brought beans, okay.

- No one wants to play beans. - Yo, Francis, come on. - No, I don't...

I don't wanna do that.

Francis.

No, I got it. I got it.

- Francis. Francis. - What?

- Where are you going? - Back to the cabin.

Okay, wait.

Okay, I know she lied to you

but that was like four years ago and it didn't ruin your life.

When Brown found out, they revoked my acceptance.

Yeah, but things are now alright.

And if you hadn't gone to State, you never would have met little me.

No, I know. I'm sorry, I don't...

It's just I thought when I brought Barb here, I don't know, I don't...

I don't know what I thought.

Okay, let's just go back to the campsite, we'll talk to everyone.

It's really not a big deal.

No, it is a big deal.

Here you're not even listening to me.

You know, it feels like lately, you're not even on my side.

Okay, now, you're just being dramatic.

No, I'm not.

This weekend was supposed to be about friends,

you and me, not you and my brother.

Okay, that's...

Okay, I might have gotten a little out of it.

Okay, we didn't even do anything.

Alright, you're right. I'm sorry.

We can still make this about us having fun.

Just the two of us.

Really? How?

I... I don't know, but I know that it's cold and wet and rainy,

so let's just go back to the campsite

and we can grab the hammocks and sleep far away from the group.

And then tomorrow, if you still want to leave,

we can go back to town and go to that really cool karaoke bar.

Fine.

I don't know if we should go to.

It's kind of lame.

It's perfect because then, we'll be the coolest ones there.

So, uh, Bradley's.

So, do you think they just left or...

Hey, can I have the hammocks?

Won't you guys get wet?

No, it's not really raining anymore.

Okay, goodnight.

Hey.

How'd you sleep?

So, pretty crazy night last night, wasn't it?

You know, I didn't know about Terry and Barb.

You know that, right?

Good morning.

Where's Lauren?

I don't know, maybe she went to pee.

I checked where she said she found a good pee spot and she wasn't there either.

She wasn't at the waterfall either.

- Lauren. - Okay, we tried that already.

Well, do you have any better ideas?

What if she got hurt or something?

Okay, okay, let's not freak out here.

She said she wanted to go to the big waterfall. Maybe she went there?

Yeah, but why would she go alone?

I don't know, she likes nature?

Maybe she just wanted to be by herself for a minute.

What?

You think Miss Nature decided to go to a waterfall and not tell anyone of us?

I don't know. Maybe it was dark and she didn't want to wake anybody up and got...

turned... I don't know.

What do you mean she's been wandering around all night alone?

Yeah, dude, that's a serious stretch.

Okay. It's just a suggestion, okay?

Do you have anything helpful to add?

Uh, as a matter of fact, I do.

Look, there's only one possible explanation for all of this, okay.

The weird berries, uh, the four twig dolls back at the cabin.

- Terry. - Nah, uh,

- it is the one and the only, Lost Children come to haunt us. - Stop. Stop.

- Can you be serious for once? - Come on, she'll turn up.

- She'll turn up? - Yes.

So, what you're saying is we should sit around on our asses

and wait for her to appear?

Yes, sitting around your ass is something you're really good at.

Okay, you know what, I'm not the only one thinking this, right?

She, obviously, was fed up with last night's bullshit

and decided to just go back to the cabin.

Bullshit? You mean like finding out that you and Barb basically got me arrested?

- Oh, my God, Francis. - No, we did not get you arrested, Francis.

Can we please not do this right now?

Can we just focus on finding our missing friend?

What do you think I have been doing?

Okay, Terry might have a point.

She might have gone back to the cabin.

Maybe we should just go check the cabin.

- Whoa, people are finally listening to me. - Shut up.

- Francis. - I don't know.

I mean, what if she's hurt somewhere alone?

I don't want to just give up on her.

We're not giving up on her.

Maybe the best thing to do is to go back to the cabin and wait for her there.

I don't know why you're acting like this is such a bad idea.

Because I don't leave my friends behind, Barb.

Nobody's leaving anybody behind, okay?

You know what it does us no good to just wander around out here.

Anyone home?

Hey, Francis.

What?

I know we have a lot more important things to worry about but I...

I wanted to tell you that I was sorry for everything.

Come on, I mean, it was three years ago

and I didn't know the cops were gonna find you.

- Yeah, alright. - Okay, no, no, no, no, I'm... I'm sorry. I...

I messed up, I know, okay.

And mainly because I didn't tell you but...

Francis, you have to know how important your friendship is to me.

I mean we haven't really talked in four years, Barb.

Well, that's not all my fault, is it?

Lauren.

- Lauren. - Lauren.

Lauren.

- Lauren. - Yo, Lauren.

- She's not here. - Shit.

Yeah, guys, she isn't up here either. We need to call the police.

Uh, and tell them what? That the ghost took our friend?

Okay, well, she's actually missing, so.

I'm just gonna get the phones.

Wait, um, uh, the... the, neighbor guy.

- James? - Yeah, what about him?

Yeah. Uh, well, the other night when we were drinking, I went out to have a cig and...

well I remember him dragging something out of his truck

- that kind of looked like a, uh... - What?

It looked like a body.

- Oh, my God. - No, I'm serious.

You seriously think he could do something to hurt Lauren?

Yeah, dude, this is not Scooby-Doo.

- It's not Ghostbusters either. - That's ridiculous.

Okay, you're right, it was definitely the Lost Children.

No, I'm just saying that we shouldn't jump to conclusions

just because you think you saw something when you were drunk.

Okay, no, but when he came over that day, he was seriously creepy.

Thank you.

Guys, he's just a lonely old man.

But you know what, whatever. I'm calling the cops.

Wait, wait.

- The phones aren't here. - What?

- The phones aren't here. - Guys.

- Maybe you put them somewhere else? - No, I saw...

- Guys. - What the fuck?

Okay, guys, listen.

Guys!

Okay, so...

You smell something burning?

Shit.

Jesus.

- What are you doing? - Research.

"Since that day the Lost Children took control of the Black Ridge mountains.

Any traveler who disrespects or travels on their land will..."

Will what?

- You're not buying into this, are you? - No.

Uh...

I don't know, Terry, things have just been getting pretty weird.

I'm just saying I'm not ruling anything out.

Uh-uh, no, y'all have gone completely off the rails.

I can't believe I gotta say this, but ghosts are not real.

Okay, come on, no that... that's... that's a loose nail.

Okay, well then how do you explain what's been going on?

Lauren broke Little Babs, the Lost Children took her. They took our phones.

Oh, my God, ghosts didn't take the phones, Barb, I did.

Okay, I... I was drunk.

I... I couldn't resist. I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal.

And you're just telling us now?

Okay, with all the shit happening,

I didn't think that'd be a good time to tell you,

- "Hey, I took the phone." - Where are they?

You fucking idiot.

You just left them outside?

I'll buy everyone new phones.

It's not the point, okay. God, this is so fucking typical.

Typical? I didn't know it was gonna rain or that Lauren would get kidnapped

- or any of that shit. - Guys, stop, stop. Please, let's just get help.

Yeah. Okay, maybe that James guy has a phone.

Or maybe he has Lauren and we're playing right into his hands.

Okay, then let's just go.

- Really? Are you kidding me right now? - We'll go to Marcos.

Okay, I know how you feel about me suggesting this right now

but we're not doing any good just standing here.

- Yeah. - It's actually not a bad idea.

Fine. You know what, you guys go but I'm gonna stay here.

- What? - Francis.

No, seriously. I need to be here in case Lauren comes back.

But go. Go.

You can't stay here by yourself.

I'll go.

Uh, and I'll be back as fast as I can.

Please be careful.

Now, what?

You know, that James guy is really raising some red flags.

- I say we just grab some weapons and go over there. - What?

I'm just saying. Just check it out.

And if, you know, something looks out of the ordinary, we'll just bust in guns blazing.

- That's a terrible idea. - Well, at least it's an idea.

Yeah, well, it's a really fucking stupid idea.

- It won't start. - What?

The... the car, it's dead.

Um, maybe we could jump it?

Do you even know what that means?

It doesn't matter. Pop the hood.

What do you mean it doesn't matter?

Shit, the batteries.

What do you mean the batteries?

Someone took them.

Oh, my God.

Can we just talk about this for a minute?

- What's there to talk about? - We have no proof that James did anything.

Yeah, well, the batteries didn't just disappear.

Okay, well that's what we said about the phones.

Alright, look, I didn't touch the batteries, alright. Did you?

No, of course, not.

Well, that doesn't mean that James did.

Even if it was him, what are we gonna do?

Go beat him up till he tells us where Lauren is?

There's four of us and one of him.

Let's just take him.

Take him, God, nobody's taking anybody, okay?

Whatever is going on here, the police need to be involved.

Any excuse to get out of a fight.

God, am I not surprised.

Dude, what are you talking about?

- You know what, forget it. - No, if you have something to say, just say it.

How long were you gonna wait to tell me

- that you're moving to Nashville with Brian? - What...

Did you read my text?

No, is that why you had our phones out there?

Okay, you know what, we shouldn't talk about this.

No, no, no, no, you can't just bring something up like that and expect me to drop it.

Okay, guys, guys, I... I really don't know what's happening right now

but please, can we just focus?

Yeah. You know what, let's, um, let's... let's go to Marcos.

- We can use their phone. - That...

It's an hour and a half to do whatever he wants to do to your girl.

You really want that?

My girl? She's not my girl, okay?

And I'm not just gonna burst into somebody's house

because I have to prove something to you.

I'm not asking you to prove anything to me, man.

- Just stop being so scared. - What the fuck is your deal?

My deal is that you're about to bail on me

two months before we're supposed to move in together, man.

I'm not bailing, okay? I'm not bailing.

Brian just texted me and asked me what my plans were for the next couple of years

and I told him I am not sure.

How are you not sure?

Because I am fucking not, okay?

I'm not sure.

Look, our plans sound fun but I can't keep doing this, dude.

I can't keep just putting off my life.

Then what the hell have you been doing the past three years?

Uh, you know what, I... I am going to Marcos.

You guys can do whatever the fuck you want.

- Now come on, Hal, hey come on. - No please.

God, what the hell is his problem?

Terry, can you please calm down?

Wait, where's Francis?

- He does this every time, Jesus Christ... - Hey, Francis.

Wait, where is Francis?

Oh, my...

Hey.

- Come on. - Please don't make me.

Just... If I'm doing this, you are, too. Let's go.

- Terry, why is it open? - Shut up.

- Come on. - Terry.

- Bah! - Lauren.

Jeez.

How's it going in there?

Is it working?

Yes, it's working, a little too well.

They're really nervous.

Well, then good, they will love the grand finale.

I don't know if we should do it.

What?

Terry, we shouldn't be doing this.

Yeah, well, our friends could be in there right now.

Okay, well, what if it isn't him? What if you're wrong?

Why would he just leave in the middle of terrorizing us?

Maybe he's going after Hal.

Terry.

Okay, this is open. Are you coming or what?

Okay.

Okay.

Creepy start.

Come on.

Francis, I have been in the woods since like 5 o'clock.

Things are really out of control. They're fighting and I just...

I feel bad now.

Because we were literally up all night planning.

- No, I know but it's just... - We can't just back out now.

- it's so... - Are you fucking kidding me?

You guys.

Hal, hey.

You set Little Babs on fire.

You took the time to make little stick dolls.

That is so fucking dumb.

Okay, it was just a prank, Hal.

You know, I don't even care, alright.

I just want to go home.

Do you guys have the car batteries?

- Yeah. Hal, are you okay? - Let's just go get the others.

Okay, why are you acting like this is such a big deal?

You and Terry pull this stuff all the time.

Not like this, Francis.

You know, for someone who gets off on being more mature than everybody else,

this is really fucking childish.

Okay, don't get off on... You know what, you're just mad

because you've never been on the other side of a prank before.

I don't think you understand pranks.

Francis.

Lauren.

Why are you whispering?

Good point.

Francis.

Lauren.

Okay, well, obviously, they're not here. So, let's go.

No, we just got here, Barb, God.

Jesus Christ.

Okay, well, he's not a vegetarian.

Oh, come on, Barb, stop joking around.

This guy is a creep and you know it.

Look, our friends are missing and this guy clearly has something to do with it, okay?

And stop looking at me like that.

You know I'm right.

What, did college take away your common sense?

Okay, well, obviously, I had no common sense in the first place if I slept with you.

Damn, I didn't realize it was such a mistake.

Oh, my God, please don't act like it mattered to you.

Okay, come on.

- For the record, it did matter. - Terry.

Terry. Come on.

Where are my friends?

Why don't you just put that down?

And we'll figure this out.

Where are my friends?

I don't know what you're talking about. Just calm down.

No, I don't think so.

Hey, don't even think about it.

I don't know where your friends are.

I'll help you find them.

Hey.

Okay, I know it got a little out of hand but it...

- it was kind of funny. - It might have been funny.

If you guys hadn't spent an entire day of our time here tearing everybody apart

because of some shit Barb pulled four years ago.

Okay, it wasn't just about Barb, alright?

If you and Terry hadn't shown up here,

then we probably would have had a good weekend.

Oh, so it was all our fault? Yes, kind of.

Yeah, just calm down.

You know what, it wasn't even a mistake

that we all showed up on the same weekend.

Mom told me you guys would be up here.

What?

I just thought maybe it would be nice if we all came up here one last time,

you know, go out with a bang before we sold the cabin.

It might have been nice, too, if you hadn't fucked everything up with your little prank.

Hal, I...

No.

Terry, stop.

Oh, my God.

I don't even think there was a bruise.

I'm so sorry, James. We didn't mean to get you involved.

Well, what's done is done.

No, I know, but I can't believe I let it go this far.

Yeah, I can't either.

We didn't think you'd attack anybody. We just thought you'd be scared.

Well, at least no one got seriously hurt.

I would just like to add that I was always doubtful of you being a psycho.

Thanks.

Where did that idea come from?

Okay, the other night, you were dragging something out of your truck and it...

I was drunk, so, of course, everything that's happened, I believed it.

Yeah, that explains it.

I killed a boar, got back late

and, uh, I wanted to treat the meat before it spoiled.

I make jerky.

Well, that makes sense.

Why don't I put on some tea and we can keep talking this out?

Thank you.

Well, that could have gone a lot worse.

Barb, I am...

Just give her a sec. I'll talk to her.

Peppermint okay with everyone?

Yeah.

That'd be great. Thank you.

Careful, it's hot.

Why did you invite me here?

- I mean, seriously, if you hate me that much... - I don't hate you.

I just... Was it all for some stupid joke?

No.

No, we weren't even trying to scare you.

At least not at first.

The twig dolls happened before we went camping.

Yeah, that...

We just thought it would be funny if we freaked out the boys.

Glad you two are having so much fun.

We were gonna tell you, but then things changed.

I just don't understand why that was such a big deal to you.

You're acting like I ruined your life.

And seems like everything turned out pretty damn fine to me.

I... I...

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I haven't gotten a single job offer from anywhere.

Not one.

Even Terry has a job.

And you're going to London, which is amazing and it's such a fantastic opportunity for you.

But I feel like everyone else is moving on

and I'm not.

And it's scary and I don't like it.

And... and I hate... I hate feeling like this.

I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry, Francis.

But that is not my fault.

You know, I actually like having the company, now that the fighting's over.

Just one thing I do miss out here.

It's easy to take your friends for granted

when they've been with you a long time.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

You know, nobody knows what they are doing, Francis.

Just because I have a job for the next year

does not mean I have everything figured out.

And I know it sucks for the first time in your life

everything isn't going exactly how you want it to.

But that doesn't mean you get to take it out on us.

No, I know.

I'm sorry.

I'm so stupid. I...

I don't know why I wanted to come back here in the first place.

I guess I felt like if the two of us could be together again, it would...

Barb?

I feel weird.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Barb.

Francis, was that really necessary?

Why won't you just relax?

What do you want?

I just want us to get along.

No, no, don't come any closer.

You don't understand. It's so quiet out here.

You see, Francis, you can be here forever with your friends.

But maybe...

You can't keep us in here.

What are you so intent on going back to?

I know you're tired, Francis.

Just go to sleep.

And then we can be friends.

Barb.

We... we gotta get out of here.

Okay.

Lauren. Lauren.

- Lauren, where are the car batteries? - Mmm.

Lauren, the car batteries. What? Lauren?

- Oh. - Are you okay?

Yes. Let's go. Let's go.

Come on.

Where did she say it was?

Um, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know where she put it. Um, okay.

- Francis, please. - I'm sorry. Okay.

Oh, Barb. Barb, I found it.

- Yeah? - Yes.

- Can you get it by yourself? - Yes.

Okay. Come on, please.

Oh, God.

- You okay? - Sssh!

Come on.

Francis.

Barbara.

Francis, we have to make a move.

How did he get out?

Francis, come on, we can do this.

Look at me.

What am I thinking?

I know you're scared.

On three.

One...

But you don't have to be.

Two...

Now.

Please!

Barb, I thought we were making a break for it.

We were supposed to attack.

Uh...

This does not have to be violent.

Hey.

Barbara, let's go. Go, go.

Oh, my God.

- Francis, are you okay? - Yeah.

You two are just like that other one.

She never understood either.

Why do you have to be so...

- Are you okay? - Yeah, okay...

- Come on. - Come on, we have to get out of here.

He's doing well.

Thank you so much. Thank you. Have a good one.

He is gonna be okay.

That's good.

So, he was just living in our cabin for weeks?

Apparently.

I'm gonna go to the vending machine. You guys want something?

Uh, no, thank you, I'm good.

Uh, gonna give me a ride home.

Anyone wanna come?

Um, no I think our parents are coming soon.

Barb?

Yeah.

- Hey, um, I'll text you. - Yeah.

Okay.

It's good to see you, Barb.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Word.

Big!

Bye, Terry.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Leave it to us to make a peaceful weekend getaway and then bloodshed, right?

So, I guess you're just gonna move back home?

Yeah, I think so, for a little bit, at least.

You know mom's trying cooking again, right?

Oh, no.

No, maybe we should stay away.

Just maybe steer clear.

No, I'm excited. I'm excited to go home.

- Really? - Yeah.

I don't know, it'd be kind of nice just to relax, you know, for a while.

For a while?

Okay, probably like a week and then I'll freak out and then have panic attack

and try and figure what's going on in my life.

Do you want to get lunch?

What?

- Like sometime this week like, do you want to go get food? - Yes, sure.

No, I mean, like, we don't have to.

- No. That's weird. I'm sorry. - I'm just sorry, I...

it's like I didn't like...

So, I remember that that was like a thing.

Yeah.

Um, yeah, let's do it. Let's go to, uh, Honey Ham.

No.

No, no way. I hate it there.

Let's go to this Mystery Diner, our usual.

- What? Are you kidding me? - The pancakes are so good.

- No, no... - Why not?

The pancakes are the reason I dropped out of college.

That's... that's just stupid. That's not true.

They have like a sanitation score of like 13 and a half.

No, it's... No.

- Okay, the pancakes are huge, it's probably out of 15. - I know.

- Out of 15? Yeah. - And they're really good.

You can share them with the whole...

Sanitation scores, sanitation scores are always out of 15.

Always. Every time.

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