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1
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,354
I don't know, Nick.
You're the accountant.
2
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,795
- These books...
- Yeah, I know.
3
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:38,598
- Hello?
- I'm not sure.
4
00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,752
Hello, there! Excuse me!
5
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,195
I just wonder if... Hel...
6
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,999
It'll be different this time.
Honestly.
7
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,230
The accounts are in order.
8
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,869
OK. I'll see you in an hour. OK. Bye.
9
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,269
- Now...
- Those books, how much?
10
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,669
- Hm?
- The leather-bound books.
11
00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,479
The Collected Works
of Charles Dickens.
12
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,030
- They're real leather?
- They're real Dickens.
13
00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:07,999
I have to know because
they have to go with a sofa.
14
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:11,834
Everything else in my house is real.
I'll give you 200.
15
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,639
- 200 what?
- £200.
16
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:17,154
Are they leather-bound pounds?
17
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,709
- No.
- They won't go with my wallet.
18
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,472
Next!
19
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:28,998
- Hello!
- Hello.
20
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:32,117
I need The Little Book of Calm,
do you have it?
21
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,078
I'm late for work. Uh, Calm...
22
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,276
Er, is this it?
23
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,828
No, no, it's just...
Too big, too big.
24
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,592
Little... just little...
25
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,717
- This one, this?
- No! No, calm.
26
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,234
- The Little Book of Calm.
- Er, this?
27
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:48,992
That's the one! Yes!
28
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,957
- Two-fifty.
- Two-fifty...
29
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,634
- Could...
- I'll just get you a bag.
30
00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:55,915
No, no - no bag, just the book!
31
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,992
- I'll do you a receipt.
- No, that's fine!
32
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:03,949
It's broken. I'll write one.
Little...
33
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,715
I'll do it!
Calm, two-fifty. Thank you.
34
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,070
"Let-let-let go once in a while,
35
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:19,436
"you are a loose lily
floating down an amber river."
36
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:25,596
Sorry. I hate my job.
37
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,476
What a strange man.
38
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,912
Right, the shop is closed!
Everybody get out!
39
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,788
- Time to go home! Come on!
- It's only quarter to three.
40
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,838
Yes, but it's my shop!
Come on, go home! Bye-bye!
41
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:47,469
- It's hardly fair.
- It's not fair at all. Get out!
42
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:51,155
- I expect better service...
- Expect away. Bye-bye!
43
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:55,153
Come on, you time-wasting bastards!
Back on the streets!
44
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:59,199
Goodbye! Thank you! Bye-bye-bye!
Back to reality. Thank you!
45
00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,713
- Bernard, do you want this?
- What is it?
46
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,916
- It's a thing.
- Is it?
47
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,594
- Yes.
- What does it do?
48
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,478
- It's very in.
- You don't know, do you?
49
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,710
It's very now.
50
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:34,076
Will you mind the shop?
I have to see my accountant.
51
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:38,233
Will you get an assistant
so I don't have to keep doing this?
52
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:42,472
OK, but you have to do the same
for me the day after tomorrow.
53
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,198
OK. Why?
54
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,157
- You know Julie?
- Yeah.
55
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,515
They're inducing the baby and...
56
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,034
she's asked me to be birth partner.
57
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,473
Ugh.
58
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,711
There'll be a lot
of blood and shouting and...
59
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,916
No, I'll just get drunk.
60
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,879
In fact, she'll be on drugs,
I'll be drunk...
61
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,190
it'll be just like the old days.
62
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,874
OK, have a nice time. Bye.
63
00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,032
Hello?
64
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:20,475
I do sell a lot of wank, don't I?
65
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,594
So, show me your new filing system,
Bernard.
66
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,511
This is March...
67
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,388
...to, er... Oobely-boo.
68
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,755
This is... Misc...
69
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:40,470
And-and-and the rest are,
er... Other.
70
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,711
Other what?
Other backdated weeks, is it?
71
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,792
No. Other...
72
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,279
times.
73
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,830
So it goes This Week,
Very Recent, and...
74
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,478
All Other Times.
75
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:57,553
Help me out here, Bernard,
what does All Other Times cover?
76
00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,835
I don't know, Nick! I'm not...
77
00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:02,917
Wonder Woman.
78
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:07,357
This new system is closely modelled
on the old system, isn't it?
79
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,508
I'd go further than that.
I'd say it was exactly the same.
80
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:14,953
Except...
81
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,832
No, it's the same.
82
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,798
I just sort of lied
on the phone, Nick. I lied.
83
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,313
Well...
84
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,756
What? What?
85
00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:28,479
Oh, nothing. You're lucky I'm so...
86
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,437
accommodating.
Other accountants might...
87
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,472
Hello? Yes, Jane. Oh, right.
88
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:42,590
OK, yeah, mm-hm.
89
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,712
- I've just got to pop off.
- What, now?
90
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,109
Yeah, see you soon, all right? Bye.
91
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:58,750
He's always one step ahead!
The cat has left the basket.
92
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,990
The cat has left the basket!
93
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,993
Mmm. Yeah, it's flying.
I'm right on it.
94
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:17,675
It'll be in the pipe soon.
The best thing is if I...
95
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,792
You...
96
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,112
Manny... What's that you're eating?
Soup?
97
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,270
Yes.
98
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,313
It's extra-chunky.
99
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:39,312
- What's in it?!
- Chunks.
100
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,431
Should I be doing something?
101
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:46,069
I have the Gleason accounts -
I would've e-mailed them
102
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:50,836
but I had a... a lot of clink on...
the stuffer... expander,
103
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,469
and, er... plug went in some Tizer.
104
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,233
Look, just shape up
or ship out, all right?
105
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,075
Eh? Hi, yih.
106
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,991
Yuh.
107
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:23,232
Yeah, I'm chasing up the, er...
108
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,276
...the company account.
109
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,276
"Visualise the ocean."
110
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,236
Oh, a calm ocean, right.
111
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,149
Right, we've got to get
Friday's invoices in.
112
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,595
OK, yeah. Here I come.
113
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,755
What is it?
114
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,753
It's my Little Book of Calm...
115
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,593
I've swallowed
my Little Book of Calm!
116
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,555
Is it some kind of bald Furby?
117
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,390
Bernard! Early closing? How'd it go?
118
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:29,235
Nick the accountant...
Nick the accountant... is a fugitive!
119
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,314
- I'm not doing my accounts!
- Why?
120
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,231
You can stick it up your arse!
121
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:42,757
Bernard, you'll have
to do them yourself. It's easy.
122
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,990
Yeah, give it... give it a go.
123
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:47,594
I'm sure I could muddle along.
124
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:51,035
WHAT? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!
125
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,277
THE WHAT?!
126
00:08:55,360 --> 00:09:00,388
"If you live in a council flat
beside a river but are not blind..."
127
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:01,833
WHAT?!
128
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,275
"What is your mother's maiden name?"
129
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,316
What's her first name?!
130
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,597
I just knew her as Ma!
Ma - that'll have to do.
131
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,113
Ma.
132
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,310
Possibly deceased.
133
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:19,837
"Did your non-returnable outgoings
for the first half of the year
134
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:23,469
"exceed your deductions
for quarterly VAT returns?"
135
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,835
Right, that's all my socks paired.
136
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,717
Back to the accounts.
137
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,552
OK.
138
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:39,594
"Did your non-returnable outgoings
for the first half of the year
139
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:43,958
"exceed your deductions
for quarterly VAT returns?"
140
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,629
Hello, Ma? It's Bernard.
141
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,472
No, nothing's wrong.
142
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,791
I don't need an excuse
to call my mother, do I?
143
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,236
I know, I am, yeah. I know.
144
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,276
Yes. Yes. I will.
145
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,351
I know. Ha. Yes.
146
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,237
Yes! I know.
147
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,914
Yeah. OK.
Goodbye, I have to do my tax!
148
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,398
"Did your
non-returnable outgoings..."
149
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,835
Thank Christ!
150
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,353
Yes?
151
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,670
Could we talk to you about Jesus?
152
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,670
Great! Come in!
153
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,793
- What?
- I'd love to hear about Jesus!
154
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,632
Come on in!
155
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,393
- Er, are you sure?
- Yes! In, in! Come in!
156
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,152
It's a trick!
157
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,710
It's just... generally
people don't say yes.
158
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,190
I'm not people -
come on in, let's talk beliefs!
159
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,950
Come in, come in. Grab a pew.
160
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,152
Right, let's go.
161
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:12,359
Well... to be honest
we've never actually...
162
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,670
thought this far ahead.
163
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,633
It's, uh, it's nice in here.
164
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,756
Indoors.
165
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:26,231
What's your favourite story
about, er... Our Lord?
166
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:33,396
Money lenders,
it has to be the money lenders.
167
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:37,189
- Chasing them out of the temple.
- It is knock-out stuff.
168
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:42,157
- And yourself?
- Well, it's all good.
169
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:46,074
I suppose when he rescued...
when Jesus rescued the Samaritan.
170
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,037
No, that's a story Jesus tells
171
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,759
about the Samaritan
who helps somebody else.
172
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,790
Really? Wow.
173
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,316
I like the one where he went
to dinner with the tax collector.
174
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:04,632
And do you have any literature
or... anything I could look at?
175
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:06,954
Oh, yes!
176
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,837
Those books and magazines!
177
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,797
Books and magazines!
178
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,910
Ah, there you are.
Time for my results?
179
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,594
It's bad news, I'm afraid, Mr Bianco.
180
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,636
The Little Book of Calm
181
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,792
is lodged between
the small intestine and the pancreas.
182
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:33,032
If it rotates a centimetre left,
you'll be dead in seconds.
183
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,237
- Oh, my God...
- No, hold on a moment.
184
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,517
The other possibility,
and this is more likely,
185
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,831
is that the Little Book of Calm
will move into the renal canal.
186
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:46,310
If this happens, you could live
for anything up to...
187
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,470
ten years, one year, who knows?
188
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:52,599
Because of the massive scarring
caused by the book, however,
189
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:56,673
- you could be in great pain...
- Oh, my... Sorry.
190
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,876
...during that time
- Oh, my God!
191
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,155
Sorry, I have to go.
192
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,117
We'll operate tomorrow.
193
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,351
There's a good chance
you'll survive - 30% I'd say -
194
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,476
so try not to worry.
195
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,596
As the book itself says...
196
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:14,912
um, "Whenever
you're in a tight spot,
197
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:19,198
"try to imagine being marooned
on a beautiful desert island."
198
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:25,790
So he said that because
no one's without sin, right?
199
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,792
Yeah, that's what he...
But it was hidden.
200
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,792
So it's like God and Jesus
are the one thing?
201
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,030
Yes. Are you sure you won't stay?
202
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,873
No, really, we have to go,
it's very late.
203
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,757
OK, whatever.
204
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,991
- Call again though, yeah?
- Oh, yes, yes.
205
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,076
Yeah, yeah...
206
00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:54,792
- Goodbye.
- Yeah, later.
207
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:05,111
Bernard?
Finished with your accounts?
208
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:09,955
Yeah. I've turned them
into a rather smart casual jacket.
209
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:15,912
Bernard!
210
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,755
I mean, it is a very nice jacket,
but what about your accounts?
211
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,956
I don't know! Will you do them?
212
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:28,433
Oh, you've got that wrong for
a start - you divide by ten there.
213
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,034
Oh - no, no, no,
I'm not doing this.
214
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:35,398
I have to give all my attention
to being Julie's birth partner.
215
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,597
Oh! Look, look!
There's something on the side!
216
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,910
15.99. Oh, no, I wrote that.
217
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,839
What am I gonna do?
Who's gonna help me?
218
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,798
Mr Bianco, back with us at last.
219
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,474
There's been a... complication.
220
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:53,791
You see, we went in
to remove the book and, um...
221
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,430
Well, in medical terms, it's gone.
222
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,034
To put it another way,
it's not there.
223
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,190
I don't know how this happened.
224
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,511
The only explanation
is that you assimilated it
225
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,114
into your system,
which is impossible.
226
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:14,198
How do you feel?
227
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,874
Add a drop of lavender
to your bath,
228
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:20,350
and soon,
you will soak yourself calm.
229
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,032
I'm sorry?
230
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:26,910
If you want to feel calm,
eat more raw fruit and vegetables,
231
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,878
yoghurt, milk and seeds.
232
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,872
Er, maybe I should
let you get some rest.
233
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,635
When you rest, you are a king
surveying your estate.
234
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,792
Look at the woodland,
the peacocks on the lawn.
235
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,589
Be the king of your own calm kingdom.
236
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:47,195
Uh... Yes.
237
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,396
- I've got it!
- I'm doing them!
238
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:53,189
I know what this is -
it's for giving up sugar.
239
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,589
Yeah, that's exactly what it's not.
240
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,035
No, that's absurd, isn't it?
241
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:02,079
What's this - blah blah
blah blah blah blah
242
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,833
yah yah blah blah...
"Exemption clause,
243
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:08,629
"person suffering from short
or long-term injury or sickness
244
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,676
"may defer their returns..."
245
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:16,437
Wait..."Person suffering from short
or long-term injury or sickness
246
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,476
"may defer their returns..."
247
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:24,911
No, no, give it up, Bernard. You'd
have to really cripple yourself.
248
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,390
You're hardly gonna do that
just to avoid doing accounts.
249
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,719
- This is on special offer.
- Really?
250
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,109
Yes, it's free if you break my legs.
251
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,032
- Fair enough.
- Great!
252
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:46,511
- I'll get the hobbling post.
- Wait, I've read this.
253
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,034
That's the problem with Wodehouse.
254
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:50,917
Yes, now break my legs.
255
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,230
But I've read it! No, I'm sorry.
256
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:59,399
What is this?! Have you any idea
what the hell this is?
257
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,836
'Would the birth partner
of Julie Williams
258
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,718
'please report to delivery room one.'
259
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,756
♪ Gloria!
260
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,317
♪ Gloria! ♪
261
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,711
Where's my birth partner?!
262
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,758
I can't do this
without my birth partner!
263
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:25,071
- Where is she?!
- Julie, we can't find her.
264
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,720
We've been calling her all day.
265
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,918
When you're feeling under pressure,
do something different.
266
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,197
Roll up your sleeves
or eat an orange.
267
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,311
♪ Gloria!
268
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,231
♪ Gloria! ♪
269
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,309
Is it some kind of fake breast?
270
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,276
You know, that dads wear?
271
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,354
- What are you talking about?
- You know, for babies.
272
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:20,998
Ba...
273
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,356
Babies. Oh, my God - Julie!
274
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,793
Oh!
275
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,354
Be on the lookout
for things that make you laugh.
276
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:35,194
If you see nothing worth laughing at,
pretend you see it, then laugh.
277
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,355
Oi! Hairy!
278
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,192
What you lookin' at?
279
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,909
Have you ever noticed a calm
person with a loud voice?
280
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,956
Try and speak softly once in a while.
281
00:18:56,520 --> 00:19:00,035
Add a dab of lavender to milk,
leave town with an orange
282
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,076
and pretend you're laughing at it.
283
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,430
Oi! You lot, you better clear off,
I have to do a few...
284
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,990
I have to... Oh! Skinheads! Perfect!
285
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,990
- Do you think you're funny?
- What happened?
286
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,640
Looking for another slap, are ya?
287
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,278
Another slap?
288
00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:28,113
Which one of you bitches
wants to dance?
289
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:35,519
Hey, when you're doing the usual
sort of threesome of a weekend
290
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,831
and the moonlight's bouncing off
your heads and arses,
291
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,876
is that not confusing?
292
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,553
Right. Look, this is you, OK?
293
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:52,351
♪ Tra-la-la la-la
la-la la-la... ♪
294
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:59,110
Millwall, that's the one.
Do you know this chant?
295
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,510
Millwall, Millwall,
you're all really dreadful,
296
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,592
and your girlfriends
are unfulfilled and alienated.
297
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,232
Hmm?
298
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,398
Uhh?
299
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,358
Are you in pain?
300
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,874
Not enough! Where have they gone?!
301
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,110
They got tired and went away.
302
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,430
Er, why... why did you do that?
303
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:46,512
That was so incredible,
the way you just...
304
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,990
kept letting them
punch you and... Thank you.
305
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:54,198
I'm injured, I don't have to do
my accounts. You're a witness.
306
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:57,238
I could do your accounts.
307
00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,153
- What?
- I'm an accountant. I was.
308
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:04,119
- It's the least I could do.
- You mean you could do more?
309
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,634
- Yeah.
- Could I have a glass of wine?
310
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,996
- OK.
- And a ham sandwich?
311
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,514
- If you like.
- With pickle?
312
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,352
All right.
313
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:29,876
Right, you get started on that
314
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,952
and I'll begin the...
business of the day.
315
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,998
Car won't start.
Cab number, cab number.
316
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,110
Got to get to Julie...
23569
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