Original subtitles

Ah...

Please pay attention

If you do as I do

Shout 3 times a day from morning to night

This will eliminate your strain

You'll sleep well once you feel relaxed

When you sleep well, your skin will be beautiful

Now, let's do it together once. Come on.

Ah...

Good, now let's begin the soft dance

Hey, Wawa.

I'm tired, please take over the class

Me again!

Music, please

Four more

Three more

Two more and last one

Four more

Three more

Two more and last one

Four and three...

Help me get rid of it

Cockroach

Wawa

Bonnie

Where did they go?

Why are all the lights out?

It's so dark

Miss Zeng Xiaoyu, please take 3 steps forward

What are you doing?

3 steps to the right

Take your seat on the exerciser

Okay, come out

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday to Xiaoyu

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, Xiaoyu

Xiaoyu, you must have lots of

programs for your birthday tonight?

Of course

Her movie star boyfriend Sima Yulong

has prepared lots of programs

It's natural that

they want to be intimate

I think Yulong would have prepared everything

Oh, that Dirty Wang rang earlier

he'll be here soon

That Dirty Wang is using body building as an excuse

but he actually wants to flirt

You don't like Dirty Wang?

Yes

Of course

He doesn't want to flirt with her

You're teasing me

You're too much

Oh, being handsome is so troublesome,

girls are throwing themselves at me

Crazy

Ladies,

I brought some good stuff here today

Everyone ignores me?

Forget it then

Dirty Wang

what good things would you have?

I know you're a gossiper

so I brought all the gossip magazines here

Wanna see?

Disgusting

It's Xiaoyu

Look

Yulong and his girlfriends are indulging in the ball

Xiaoyu, you're so proud

I...

I thought what's so great

It's not the first time

Who will report such petty issues

I am just an ordinary person

You're not

This pair of stockings is very expensive

It's over $1000 a pair

You're a big spender

Yes, there are French stockings

Password, French stocking lady

It's a gift from Yulong

That expensive? I didn't know

Dirty Wang

If you don't exercise, we're going off

I'm not here to exercise today

I'm here to invite you to a party

What's so great about going to party?

I'll introduce someone to you

And what's so great about that person?

Brooke's height

Anita Mui's voice

Cherie Chung's tenderness

Are you introducing a woman to us?

I didn't say a woman

If it's a man, you can keep it

It's no use for me to keep

If one of you

can get him

you'll get $3000

Who do you think we are?

I'm just betting with my colleague

He is my good friend

He has a good personality and well educated

He has lots of houses

and he is not gay

But he never dallied with women

I just want to test if he treats women as human

I don't believe that

we three single women

will not attract him.

That's right. What is his name?

Lizhi

This bastard

why the hell doesn't he call?

Yulong, I've still got something to wind up here

I'll be back soon, wait for me at home

Miss me?

That's what I want

If you can see me everytime you miss me,

you'll not miss me anymore

Are you leaving?

Ask Yulong

if we could all go to Clearwater Bay Club later?

Hey, would you be game?

Nope

He wants to enjoy with me at home

I thought the phone was out of order just a while back

No, I had it fixed already

Yulong, bye bye

It's fixed, it's okay

Then I'll call my mom first

You're such a big girl

why do you need to call your mom?

Others will laugh at you

Yeah, we'll be late if we don't leave now

Bye bye...

Hey

- Xiaoyu - Yulong

I'll be waiting for you downstairs in a minute

Yep, wait for me downstairs in a minute

Ok, I'm coming down

Yulong

Why're you so slow?

I rushed down right after your call

It's beautiful

Belt up or you'll be fined

Where are we going?

Go home, where else?

Come in

Why did you drive so fast?

Time is precious

We've all night

I worry that we won't have enough time

Come, go into the washroom

Washroom?

Come... Go in

Yulong...

This pile of clothes needs to be hand washed

If you don't wash in the washroom

then where to wash?

Yulong, did you forget

today I'm...

Right, I've something for you

Take a look

Dear Xiaoyu,

Please buy these at the supermarket,

Odor cream, toilet rolls,

Playboy magazine,

a bottle of champagne, two pieces of steak,

mushroom pudding, two pink candles.

So he wants to create a romantic atmosphere

Remember to buy all the

things in the shopping list.

I'm going to the movie now,

will be back at 10pm.

Don't forget that the steak must be medium done.

He remembers that I like medium done

Yulong

Did someone call you?

She...

Let me introduce

Xiaoyu

Monica

Thanks... Monica

Who can replace you, my dear

Your maid doesn't look like a Filipino

Fresh

Fresh and medium done

Xiaoyu, thank you

Fresh

Delicious?

So overdoned! A bit like you, old & wasted

Where's the washroom?

Oh, the French stockings gal

Damn

Xiaoyu, you go back home and sleep for now

I'm rehearsing tomorrow's show

with Monica tonight

and don't want to be disturbed

I'll see you when I'm free

Wait, tell me

do you remember what day is today?

Wednesday, horse racing day

What is it?

I'll go in to get the cake for you

You want to dump her

What else can I do?

Delicious?

What are you doing?

What is it? You want to hit me?

Rehearsing, my foot! More like having fun, I'd say

and asks me to do laundry at home

Today is my birthday

Listen to me

Get out and you too

And you sayin', my steak is old,

are you implying that I'm old?

Take off your stockings, clothes... come on

I cannot cry, must not cry

It's not worth crying for such a person

I'll not shame myself

I can look for another man

I'm not that bad

You go for a girl, I'll go for a guy

I'll go to Dirty Wang's party now

I'll go right now

If you want to rob, look for someone else

This is absurd

Leave it all to me

Dirty Wang

Didn't you say there's another friend coming?

Almost here

You said before

once get laid, everyone gets $3000

You better keep your word

You too don't go back on your words

If you fail

all of you give me a kiss

Wishful thinking

You'll lose for sure

Do you know what's his nickname?

The last Eunuch of China

That girl is very pretty

The one behind her is not bad too

Damn, I can't stand it anymore

Hey, Lizhi

So late?

Yes

I'm afraid of women

Why ask us to a

party without women?

There are many beautiful women inside

Yes, lots of them

You can have them, I'm going to the washroom

Let's go in...

General manager

I entered the wrong washroom again

How are you?

When can we have a meal together?

I'm on diet

Invited you so many times, always turn me down

Have a meal?

Go to the movie?

Or to the disco?

General manager

Never mind, call me Lui Chang Lan will do

It's crowded here

Really?

Let's go in

Don't you want to go in?

No... Just checking if

this fire proof board is sturdy?

Calling me? Hang on

Someone called you?

Coming. See you

So many beautiful women

I can't stand it anymore

Didn't you go to the washroom?

Almost fell into the hands of Lui Chang Lan

What?

That Femme Fatale had an eye for you

you'll be in her hands sooner or later

Nonsense

Where's Dirty Wang?

That side

Lizhi is here

He's good looking

Wonder why he doesn't like women?

Could be gay perhaps

You'll have to find that out yourself

You just need to let him hug you

I'll go first

You're here so late

All the women have been taken

Let's have a drink

Bonnie, you go first

Me? How?

Throw yourself at him

What?

It must work

There're so many blondes over there

Lizhi will not be interested

Come with me

Ok...

Sorry

None of my business

Damn

Failed

It's your turn

Me?

Second move, surely gonna work

Sorry

Right?

- Go - Okay

What's with you? Splashed it all over my face

What are you doing?

Sorry

Are you insane?

I'm getting my kiss for sure

Don't be too happy

Ready your $3000

Sorry

You needn't say sorry, I'm the one who should be sorry

Please give me a hug now or...

I'll yell, 'you're molesting me'

What?

I'm counting. 1, 2, mo...

What do I get for hugging you?

No pranks! You'll get into trouble

Mo...

You're really in for trouble

Bitch, damn you

What did you say?

Sorry, nothing, sorry

Bitch, damn you...

Bitch, damn you

Sorry...

Bitch, go to the roof after dinner

Take off all your clothes and wait for me

Don't run

Why is she so frightened?

I said before, I can't be close to women

I become possessed, once I'm close to women

but you don't believe

There are so many women here

I better look for a place to hide

Sorry

No problem

This person has a very strong evil air

In a trap, I'm walkin' into the trap!

Don't oppose your destiny

we've been paired by god

Where do you want to go?

General manager, please behave, okay?

Shout as you like,

no one will hear you

General Manager

Don't come near me

You... Can't, don't come over

I'll shout for help

Whatever you say is useless now

I'm being humiliated, help

You're wonderful

No one has ever hit me like this

Hit me again, come on, hit me

You are sadistic

Come...

General manager...

Tear off my clothes, pull my hair

be rough on me, I like it

Come on, hit me

I like it, come on

General manager

I like it, keep hitting me

Harder, rougher, that feels good

Who did you get to frighten us?

I also didn't know he was possessed

Xiaoyu

Xiaoyu, luckily you came a little late

Or else you'd have been frightened by that monster

Where's Yulong?

Whatever you do but from now on,

don't ever mention this name

So serious?

Thank you...

Seems jilted

Let's go

Zeng Xiaoyu

And who are you?

You don't recognise me?

I am Vegetarian Shen Zhi Hang

Vegetarian?

How do you do?

You're quite handsome now

You were like a nerd back in school

Life is full of surprises

Good is not necessary good

Bad is not necessary bad

You still talk Buddhist philosophy

Still a vegetarian?

I'm a Buddhist

You look... sort of strange

Of course, just separated with my boyfriend

Let me see your hand

That wasn't serendipity for you

But there's something really strange

Your lucky star and evil star

are charted on the same course

You became a fortune teller

No, Xiaoyu. You better listen to me

Fortunately you'll soon meet your blissful spouse

But along with it I see something calamitous

You could be in grave danger

you must be careful

I'm already afraid

Don't comfort me

I don't feel good, excuse me

Never mind

It's been so long, she must have gone

Locked

Help

Help, anyone outside?

Hey, what's the matter?

The lock is broken, I can't open

Why don't you climb out from above?

I did try

My leg stuck when I fell

and I can't pull it out

Where did you get stuck?

Where else can you get stuck in a toilet?

Then try to pull harder

If I can, I wouldn't have called for help

Help me

I'll go look for help

Anybody? Please help

All gone. Anybody?

Sir, they all left

there's no one around

The party is over, what should I do?

Please call the police

How about you try my method

If it doesn't work, then call the police, ok?

Okay. What do I do?

Count with me to breathe

1 to inhale, 2 to exhale

You may feel a little pain in the beginning

but just bear with it

Exert more with every breath

What method is this?

Inhale and exhale

Those in labour do it this way

I've studied two years of nursing

but I failed in the exam

Come on

1 inhale, 2 exhale

After every breath cycle try pulling out your leg

Hey, what's happening in there?

Sorry

Are you the one who helped me?

Do you see someone else?

Thank you

Forget it, I can't touch women

I'll be possessed once I touch them

See you

Oh, no more see you. Goodbye

What a strange person!

Hey...

You don't have a ride?

Do you think that truck belongs to me?

It's not that I don't want to give you a lift, but...

Forget it. I better not depend on men anymore

It's not that I don't want to give you a lift

I really can't be close to women

You just hope that you'll feel better

I don't blame you, just go

But don't say things that

even children will not believe

There's no street light ahead, it's dangerous

Get in

Where do you live?

Bowen road

If you want to frighten me

you've achieved it

Please drive slower

Sit tight

My car's possessed

I wonder who is possessed

What are you doing?

Slow down

I don't mean it

Look, look

It's driving itself

Hit the brakes

Brakes?

Why is it going backwards?

I don't know

Attention

There's a speeding car

As if they own the road

What should we do?

What? Is it ghost festival?

No way?

Get out of the car

The door's jammed

Stop the car...

Get out...

I'm sorry

to have you detained in the police station

What you said back there, was it true?

Beg your pardon?

Didn't you say

you'll be possessed once you get close to women?

Of course it's true

My love life is a total failure

Girls are frightened away on the first date itself

I'm spellbound, ajinx

How so?

One became lame after an accident

One was hit on the head

by a falling television

One fell into the manure pit

and yet another lost all her hair

turned into bald head

Is it the plot of a movie?

In brief

I'm going to be a bachelor my whole life

I thought I'm unlucky

but you're worst than me

I think you better sit away a little

If you're too close

you'll catch my unlucky spell

You'll bear all the consequences then

What do you mean?

Don't you understand?

Two worms in spring

What're you saying?

What two worms in spring?

Stupid

Stupid?

You're teasing me

Both of you are stupid

ending up at the police station late at night

Dirty Wang asked me to bail you out

Where's Dirty Wang?

He brought Wawa to the seaside

but was pushed into the sea by her

So stupid

Why're you so happy?

Does the police station smell nice? Let's go

Let's go

Come on

Miss Zhang

I think I better not take you home

I understand. I'll go back myself

Don't know what to say

I'm sorry

I think you should pray more

Good night

Vegetarian, it's you

I'll give you a lift

How do you know I'm at the police station?

That night I already knew you had an inexorable fate

Really? It's weird

Wear it

What is it?

Your inexorable fate has just begun

Come what may...

don't remove this five-colour ribbon

Say again

Don't ask so much

It's good to see you're safe

We've been waiting since 6 am

It is 5:50pm already

and it's still not our turn?

We are number 151

We'll be the next

I think waiting this way is not going to do us any good

It's almost our turn, just a little longer

The last client today

Who is number 151?

It's us

Mrs. Li, you're here too

Is Mr. Chen free?

Certainly

Since you're here, Mrs. Li

we'll let you in first

How can she jump queue?

Miss. You seldom come

Mrs. Li is our big client

so she does not need to queue up

What do you mean by big client?

Whenever Mrs. Li comes to have her fortune told

she would give $3000 red packet

yours is merely $50

Understand?

Ah Yu, that's enough

It's because I'm generous in tips, no doubt

but you two would just have to keep on waiting

We'll go off after you're done

I've been waiting for the whole day

why not ask HER to wait?

What's the big deal being rich?

It's no big deal being rich

but I can make you wait

Since you're so unruly

I'll make you wait

Let it pass, stop quarrelling

Why let it pass?

I've promised myself

to never allow myself to be bullied again

If you don't let me in first

I'll report to the consumer council

What do you want to report?

I'll report you jumping queue

You sure that can be reported?

They're willing to let me in first

what can you do?

This is nonsense

Don't you know nonsense

is the patent of rich folk?

Let's go, Xiaoyu

Or else we'll die from the stink of their money

I won't leave, I want to see what she can do

What is the problem?

Mr. Chen

This lady wants to fight with me to see you

Why does this lady have such strong evil air?

I've strong evil air?

Right

Those with strong evil air

are either very ill or possessed

I think you must have some amulet

No wonder!

You've the Buddhist amulet

Don't take it off

It could involve an inexorable doom

but it will also bring happiness

Strange, I don't quite understand

What're you saying?

You come again tomorrow morning

I'll see you first

I don't have that much time

just see this old lady tomorrow

I don't have evil air

See when you'll get cancer

Let's go

Young girl, you're too willful

It's better for her to die early

Please come in, Mrs. Li

Regarding your son,

I'm totally helpless

Try your best to resolve for me

It has been so many years

hope that Zhangsan will let my son off

Have tried many times

You must understand

how deep his hatred against your family is

He endured 49 days of pain

to become green-faced ghost

All that to make sure your family has no descendent

Such strong grievance!

How can it possibly change?

Please ask him out

so that I can plead with him personally

I'm old

may be easy to invite him but hard to send him off

lt'll be troublesome if I can't control him

unless you can find my brother's student Shen Zhi Hang

But he is very busy

It's not easy to find him

Money is not a problem, I'm willing to pay

You see, he is rich too

He has affinity to Buddha since he was young

A staunch vegetarian since birth

To find him, you must have affinity to him

Well

I'll light ajoss stick for Zhangsan

What happened?

It means he's not accepting it

Then...

In other words, as long as your son comes in

contact with a woman, he'll die

Why?

Why is he unwilling to let my son off?

Forget it, forget it

I think I'll take a ferry back to Kowloon

Silly

Call this a modern blind date

Be friends if you like

else just ignore him

That's right

If he ignores me

I'll dig a hole and burrow in

Stopjoking

They're here

We're friends, right? Then don't leave

Friend, it's not worth being your friend

Why didn't you tell me

there are girls coming?

You know very well I can't meet women

You can't but we can

That's right

They're here

What? You again?

Who else can it be?

I'm here with them to buy oyster sauce

I have to go

Yes?

Banana peel, you might trip

Please don't leave

Dirty Wang

Lizhi, you're not a man

You've no integrity, courage nor ambition

only foul smell

What?

You ask us to get Miss Zeng here,

now that she's here and you ignore her

What're you afraid of?

I know what you want to say

Miss. Zeng, he wants you to stay

and have fun with us

Shut up, don't say anything

that conflicts with your thoughts

Miss. Zeng, I'm representing him to ask you to stay

Very well then

Thank you

You've proved something for me

As the saying goes, Big chest no brains is wrong

Yes

That goes for chest small also no brain

You are really overbearing, make way

We're having BBQ at night

How about a ghost story?

Jokes are better

All right

Joke? Wait for me

We'll wait for you

Please hold this for me

As I recall I once went to the Middle East alone,

it was totally in an unfamiliar territory.

Went to a restaurant and ordered some food

the food was served very quickly

They don't use fork & knife nor chopsticks

they used their hand to grasp

squeezing the meat in their hands

then put into their mouth

And keep putting into their mouth

Following their custom

I too started eating with hand

I suddenly felt discomfort in my tummy

I immediately looked for a toilet

it was not hard to find the toilet

I sat on the toilet bowl immediately

Oh dear, I looked around,

there was no toilet paper

What to do?

Not to worry

There was a small window nearby

on which was written: 'When you're done

stick out your hand'

I thought that labour in Middle East is cheap

must have asked children outside

to wash your hands with water

So I stuck out my hand & realised that

the man asked the children to use two bricks...

Clap and I...

Using a decadent joke to scrounge

Such trick is too old

Any new one?

Your pork chop is on fire

What happened to you?

Not sure if the food is well cooked

or hygienic enough

It's not the food...

it's your mouth that is unhygienic

Heaven punishes you

What's with you?

I've to get to the hospital

The hospital is very far from here

I still must

Alright, we boys will take him

you girls go back to the room and sleep

Damn, where to get a cab at this hour?

The cab will not come to such place

Who's looking for a cab? Idiot

Don't you have a tummy pain?

You need new tricks to flirt with girls

This trick is to play ghost and pretend tummy pain

Play ghost to frighten the girls. Don't count me in

That's fine if you don't go but don't expose us

otherwise, we're not friends

I couldn't be bothered

Take action

The cards already discarded?

Waiting for you

Here, I win

What happened?

The voltage isn't stable in the outlying islands

You're disturbing our peace

you must die

We've possessed all the boys

This voice sounds familiar

We're going to bite you

We're the living dead and going to bite you

Put down your things

Here come the living dead

Living dead

We're the living dead

Where have all the girls gone?

They must have gone to the toilet

Get lost, she is mine

Run, hurry run

He has possessed my body

He wants my hands to touch your breast

Let's see what happens with dog's blood on your head

This is not black dog's blood, it's white dog's

Hey girls, come on out

You dare hit the ghost?

Brothers, help

Living dead, mind your own business

You think there's no honour in being ghosts

What ghost are you?

How dare you possess Dirty Wang?

Leave now

Let me go, or I'll kill you all

My mom said that

when you're possessed, use a red chopstick to clamp

your middle finger and it'll go away

I won't leave, your mom lied to you

Gone yet?

Gone...

Are you sure?

What do you mean?

My voice is normal, see

In one film I saw that a ghost can impersonate others

I must do an experiment to test

No, I'm not playing anymore

Give him to drink incense ash

if he's a ghost, he'll spit it out

Drink it up

Oh no

Why did you spit it out?

Yes

Are you crazy?

Anyone will spit such things out

All spit out means the ghost's not gone yet

What then?

There's no choice

For our safety

we have to sacrifice Dirty Wang

Let's use a wooden stake to pierce his heart

Stopjoking, I'm not playing anymore

I played ghost to frighten you

Play ghost? I want you become ghost

Shall we go in to save Dirty Wang?

I fear that we will get hurt when we go in

Don't try to play a trick on me

Crazy

How dare you

steal my green bean soup?

Kill you, kill you

Stop playing

Victor is really possessed

Do you think we're idiots?

No, it's true

Ignore him, let's go to sleep

Untie me, it's the real ghost

I don't want to play anymore

Oh no!

What're you doing?

I wanted to press the girls

instead, I'm pressed by a ghost

Don't touch me, I've AIDS

What's all the noise?

Let them fight among themselves

No, I must go have a look

What is it?

Why're you still playing?

Ghost, here again

Ghost? What ghost?

If there's one, must be you

Sure looked like one

Where did you find this pig tongue?

Lizhi

Are you done yet?

What is it?

At least you're human

Those three are not giving up yet

I'm not playing anymore

I'll beat you up if you disturb again

How come he bumped so far?

You have palm wind

Dirty Wang has had enough torture

Really?

It's past 4 am, have some rest

I don't feel like sleeping anymore

In that case

since it's almost dawn

let's go watch sunrise by the seaside

Sit here

The first time I watched sunrise was when I had gone

camping with friends. I was 13 then

I thought it's romantic to watch sunrise

I was so excited that I couldn't sleep the whole night

Finally when I saw the sunrise

I thought it's just so so

Why did you come then?

This time it's just the two of us

You had said something about being possessed n' all

How come it's not so today?

Yes, even I feel strange about it

You're the first woman that I'm close to

and nothing has happened this time

How old are you?

31

Then you're still a...

Still what?

Oh, nothing

I have a feeling

this is a very good beginning

Today's weather will be fine

Yes

A pity there's a dark cloud on the horizon

Vegetarian, it's you

What a pleasant surprise!

I was in the vicinity to read feng shui for someone

I've got to head back

Let me introduce

Meet my friend Lizhi

my schoolmate Shen Zhi Hang

How do you do?

Evil spirit, why don't you step back?

What're you doing?

Quiet

You're blocked by a person

His evil air is very strong

He will pester you for life

What person? A woman?

A Yin person

Yin person?

Meaning a dead person

In conventional terms, a ghost

Ghost?

Yes, he'll be possessed when close to women

I saw you in a party before

already I felt a strong evil air around you

A green-faced ghost is following you

and you're being spellbound

The spell is from your previous generation

Ghost and spell

I hope it isn't something serious!

It has been like this since I was young

it doesn't bother me at all

It's up to you to believe

I've no time to explain to you

Look for me if there's anything

Xiaoyu, this five coloured Bodhi ribbon

you must keep it with you no matter what

Goodbye, Lizhi

Goodbye

Your friend is mysterious

Did he hit on you before?

He's a vegetarian, but he's very effective

I hope he's ineffective

That's true

You won't have time once you're back in the city, huh?

I've plenty of time

Do you like old Mandarin movies?

Oh, I love 'em

I'm sure you don't like Lin Dai's movies

I like Lin Dai the most

She's Lin Cui's elder sister, don't you know?

But I can't forget, can't forget

You are my heartfelt emotion

It's impossible to be forgotten

Cross with me?

No

I'm afraid you'll be possessed

Nothing happened over at the island, right?

But we were merely chatting then

If we take things further

I fear something will happen to you

Who's going to take things further with YOU?

My mom told me

I've been cursed by someone ever since childhood

I can't come in contact with girls or get married

otherwise the girl will die

Doctor says

she can live 200 to 300 days

Is he sure?

Isn't there any cure?

So orthodox

I made you cry?

No

The film made me recall my life experience

I've seen this movie many times

Life experience... are you a singer?

No

I don't think it's possible

for us to take things further

Are you immigrating?

No, I'm the same as Lin Dai

You've cancer?

Even Wawa doesn't know

you're the only one who knows of my cancer

Please don't tell others

Is it AIDS?

No, it's leukaemia

Xiaoyu, what did the doctor say?

Six months at the most

I must strive for every minute

be happy every second

Right, we must strive for all the time we have

We're not going to watch the movie anymore

let's go be happy

Ok

Don't leave me

I'll never leave you

Hold me

Sorry, sorry

Don't worry

It's that thing again

Don't play, it's so dirty

Don't play

Brother Mark

How're you?

Let me introduce, she is my good friend

help me to dress her up

or I'm gonna beat you

Sorry, I can't, I've an appointment

You let her wait for a while

The other client can't be that punctual

Oh no, Mrs. Li is here

Mark, I'm in a hurry

Just a minute

I was wondering who it could be!

Mark

I have made an appointment for this time

come and attend me first

I'll get someone to do for you, ok?

No

you can't just leave it half done

Yes

If you go, we're over

Mark, come over here

Stop

Just think about

the tip I give each time

It's enough to cover for your 10 visits to a saloon

All this stench! No wonder...

it's someone with the smell of money

Not as smelly as your foul breath

Granny, plastic surgery is upstairs

you're in the wrong place

Mark, don't forget

I rent this shop to you

and you're helping others instead

Don't overestimate yourself

all my jewellery

each is worth over tens of thousands

I can easily take the shop back

Don't be so proud of your useless jewellery

we've priceless youth

Check out our fine figure

36, 24, 35

We can lift our chest

Can you?

What's there to be proud of?

When I could lift my chest

you weren't even born yet

If you keep exerting yourself

be careful

lt'd be awful if you drop it on the floor

You are an iron-mouthed chicken

You are a dried stick

Mark, get over here

- Hold it... - Come over...

Don't move...

It's a robbery, hand out all your money

Sir, we don't have money

but this Mrs. Li is different

she brings along jewellery worth tens of thousands

It's worth more than

this small saloon

You can just rob her

she won't feel grieved

Hand it out, hurry

So much money, I'm rich

And... what about the hidden layer in the handbag?

And...

lots of chocolates

What chocolates, it's gold coins!

It's real stuff

Enough, let's go

What? Enough?

Is there anything better?

Sure, priceless youth

These two ladies

36, 24, 35

don't you think they're attractive?

Yeah, sure

Robbery means robbing either wealth or beauty

Of course rob beauty

You rob beauty then return my wealth

I think you're mad

Why can't I rob both?

Right

Okay, today I'll consider my wealth sacrificed

Now go rob beauty

Trust me, these two are pretty good

Why don't you lift up your bosoms now, huh?

You're despicable

You started it first

so I'm just going along

I go in first, you keep watch

If you move, I'll cut it off

I won't move

So, you dare urge them to rob my beauty

You always thinking of that, right?

Don't ever let me see you again

If I see you again, I'll use a broom to deal with you

Let's wait and see

This is the first time to meet your mom, I'm nervous

What's there to be nervous? She'll like you

How come?

I already told her

you're beautiful and lovely

pure and gentle

I'm sure she'll like you

Such exaggeration?

Not exaggeration... but call it flattery if you may

Take a seat

Mom, I'm back

Be comfortable, I'll be right back

What would you like to drink?

Mom, hurry up

Hey Zhi, who is this?

My mom

We look alike, isn't it?

I'm a little dizzy

I'd rather head back home

What? Lie down for a while

you'll be all right in a while, lie down

I'm feeling dizzy

Don't worry

Mom, hurry up

How is it?

Zhi, is she your girlfriend?

Yes

I'm very dizzy

What is it?

She's feeling dizzy

Dizzy

Let me get some ointment

Aunt

Aunt, I'm Xiaoyu

Aunt, how do you do

Xiaoyu, how do you do, to you too

How dare you come to my house, iron-mouthed chicken

what courage you have

Don't think that I'm afraid of your status here

You two really click off

I'll not damage my image in front of my son

let's put on an act tonight

Okay

Aunt is so respectful and lovable

anyone would want to be close with her

Xiaoyu, you are also so lovable

just like a chicken

What?

I mean like a lovely chick

everyone wants to touch her

Aunt is like a pig

I mean as round as a pearl

I did say earlier that you both are sure to get along

You keep Xiaoyu entertained

I'll go prepare some food

Aunt, I'll help you

to make sure you don't poison the food

No, you're our guest

I want to learn to be a good mother

They got along in ajiffy!

In future when she comes in as a bride

I'll be very happy

Don't be rash, old lady

Don't move, you iron-mouthed chicken

You wretch

so you're the one that enticed my son

Are you jealous because he likes me?

My son can't be close to women

he told me he has a girlfriend

I was so happy

So it's you, the wretch

no wonder even the ghost also got scared

That's because I'm honourable

I'll kill you, so you won't embroil my son

Go ahead, let's see if your son kills you then

None of your concern, my son won't do it

You're a fool

ask him if he wants to sleep with me or you?

I'm hungry

Ok, almost ready

Xiaoyu, look

chop in this way

The fish can be quickly minced

Aunt, chop this way?

The fish is turning into fish sauce

This cooking method is from which country?

What do you know? Get out

Sorry

Aunt, have a piece of pork

and hope your blood vessels explode

Xiaoyu, here's a chicken wing for you

and hope you'll choke on the chicken bone

Dinner time

Let's eat

What is it?

What happened?

Nothing, who kicked me?

No one

Being possessed again?

It's nothing

Zhi, to be our Li family's daughter-in-law

our Li family's house rules must be observed

4 major Don'ts and 6 major conditions

What 4 major, 6 big?

The 4 don'ts are: Must not defy your mother-in-law

must not be seen outside

must not ignore household work

And finally, must have suckling pig to eat

What do you mean must have suckling pig to eat?

Must be a virgin

What are the 6 conditions then?

Round buttocks, slender legs, gall nose

extreme eyes, delicate hands, long neck

What does all that infer?

Round buttocks means able to give birth

slender legs means bound feet

won't be able to run amuck

Gall nose?

A nose like pig's gallbladder

Extremity in eyes?

Meaning don't look askance

don't look anywhere

Delicate hands?

The delicate hands are slender fingers

thin and small look precious

Long neck?

Neck must be long enough

look like an aristocrat

Guess I just may know the prospective bride to-be

Who?

E. T

I don't mind these ancestor's teachings at all

most important is the suckling pig

I'm not joking

Zhi, put your best into it

A person must have moral concepts

Mom, such words are so embarrassing

I know

It's too late

Aunt, I'm leaving

Ok, let me see you off

Alright

Good night, aunt

Have a good sleep

I wish you never wake up

Father of Zhi, you must bless your son

I have raised him for so many years

I've done my best

Now that he has grown up

I can't control him anymore

Mom, why aren't you asleep?

Where have you been?

Nowhere

Just watching TV at Xiaoyu's house

Did you and her...?

Mom, I'm not 15 years old

Come

Mom's thinking is not old fashioned

I worry for your life

Can't be that serious right?

IT IS that serious

That's why till now

I forbade you to have any girlfriend

I know

once I've girlfriend, I'll be possessed

It's not that simple

Let me be candid

A green-faced ghost

has been following you since birth

...Till today

Really?

Your dad has business in South Asia

He has learned the Buddhism art before

and was very skilled in it

There are many spell casters in that region

He often saw them casting spell on people

but he refused to be involved

But once there was

a spell caster by the name of Zhangsan

He was in the process of mastering a big-wealth-spell

What is big wealth spell?

Zhangsan, let the pregnant woman go

This is my last

You don't have to interrupt

Repent and be saved

You...

Stay out of my business

I insist if you harm people

Don't be rash

These 19 execution nails

are interlinked with my child

If they were forced out

my child won't be able to reincarnate

If you let it go now

I won't force the nails out

How did you know?

When I had you in my womb

your dad died not long after he came back

He died in a mysterious way

Later I received a letter from Zhangsan

saying that he wants your dad to have no descendent

You'll die as long as you're near a woman

you'll never pass the second day

I have shown this letter to others

they said the letter was written in human blood

Mom, what you said is horrible

but I can't believe

Why?

Xiaoyu has already told me

she's had some misunderstanding with you

I can't imagine you'll use such a story to deceive me

Zhi, whatever mom said is all truth

Whatever... mom,

Xiaoyu is the first girl I've liked

I just hope you'll not sabotage our relation

Mrs. Li?

Yes, Mrs. Sun from Malacca told me

that you've come to Hong Kong

She asked me to look for you

Say no more, please sit

I've known all about it

I've thought of a solution to your dilemma

You've a solution?

Your son's spell is a generation spell

The green-faced ghost will act according to the spell

If the spell is transferred to another person

that person will die for sure

And he'll not pester your son anymore

Where can I look for this person then?

Must look for a girl with an incurable disease

to marry your son

I'll cast the spell on the day of marriage

transferring your son's spell to her

When she dies, your son will be safe

But it's got to be a person with incurable disease

a dying person

Otherwise your son will receive retribution

I must send out someone to look for this girl

Mom

Aunt

Have eaten and washed the dishes

Have a seat

Sit in a well-lit place

Not in the corner

doing some dubious things

You may get some drink but don't pinch the food

I thought you had some photos for me to see

Yes, let's go inside

Okay

Mom, what do you want?

I want to protect your life

others may not care about your life, but I do

Silly

Mom, come out please

I've something to talk to you

Mom, I don't want to say it

but I have to tell you

Are you two...

No, don't make a wild guess

Now, the one dying is not me, it's Xiaoyu

That goes without saying. If she still pesters you

I'll kill her sooner or later

No, actually she's got cancer

She has cancer?

Yes, mom

She has leukaemia, with 3 months of life left

Poor thing

Xiaoyu, Xiaoyu

No wonder

What has happened to you? You've lost weight

On diet? Please don't

Being a little chubby is a sign of prosperity

Aren't you hungry?

Zhi, phone that shop downstairs

what's it called... 'Spring... something'

order some dimsum for Xiaoyu

Forget it

are you trying to play tricks again?

Is your mom possessed?

Xiaoyu, how can you misunderstand me?

But sometimes

we old ladies often talk in this manner

Can't even remember what I have said before

please don't blame me

What did you say to her?

Sorry, I did not keep my promise

I've told mom about your cancer

I wrongly accused you

please don't take it to heart

Just treat it as if nothing ever happened

You and Zhi are so close

why not get married soon?

Mom, you're so understanding

No, I can't have Zhi involved in this

I'll look for a secluded place

and wait for my final day

No

Rubbish, don't talk nonsense

Nothing will happen to you, you'll live long

But it's no use

I don't meet those 4 major, 6 big

Zhi family requirements, right?

If I ruin your family rules

that won't be good

Those are just traditions. Let's forget about them

It's still no use

As a child I liked to ride bicycle,

ballet and do the split

what if I don't have that thing...

Suckling pig

That's right, what if I don't fulfill that condition?

In these modern times let's not care about it

Even I didn't have it as well

Don't take it seriously

Enough said

let's choose an auspicious day for you

There are so many guests outside

why did you pull me in here?

I know

I've something to clarify with you

I don't want to deceive you anymore

If you want to tell me about some ex-boyfriend,

forget it, I don't want to listen

No

Actually, I don't have any cancer

I lied to you

I was afraid of losing you

But since we are getting married

I must be honest to you

I'd rather have you be angry but I still must tell you

I'm so happy that you're all right

why would I be angry at you?

Good, now I don't have to be Guansan

and you don't have to be Lin Dai

This is great

You're really not cross with me?

Of course

Actually I also have a lot of things I haven't told you

You're hiding something from me?

You've another girlfriend?

No...

"Zhangsan's generation spell"

What is it?

Xiaoyu...

What should we do?

Send her to the hospital quick

I've never seen such acute

excessive white blood cells

5 times more than normal, she could die anytime

How can this be?

Tell me, tell me

Don't be like this

Control yourself

Xiaoyu indeed has cancer

No, mom

she doesn't. It was in fact a lie

She just told me the truth

No cancer?

No

Oh no, that spell caster...

What spell caster?

You can't be that cruel

casting a spell on Xiaoyu, is it?

I thought that she has cancer and will die

so I listened to the spell caster

He was to transfer your curse onto her

but it's all a mistake

Spell caster? Where is he?

Spell caster, come out

Spell caster come out now

Come out, spell caster

What is it?

Come out

Ok, in a minute

Your name and Xiaoyu's name are on the straw mat

Damn, how dare he stab my wife!

Hey, don't

Why not? With this you stabbed my wife

And now I'm going to stab you

There's a spell on it

Go ahead, do it

No...

Where are you running to?

No...

You're to stab him, not yourself

Are you crazy?

Quick, snatch the wooden stake

The spell is on it

He'll be in danger

Quick, help

I'm fine

Careful

Careful

What're you doing?

It's not me doing it

The green-faced ghost

You have to stab him...

Oh no!

Are you all right?

I'm fine

Careful

Not the butt, buddy

No

Do it to me instead

Don't do that

What's happening?

Why? Why? Why?

I've been a doctor for so many years

but I've not seen such illness

Your white blood cells were 5 times the normal

but it's all normal today

Now it's his turn

I think I better go back to study

We must safeguard Zhi

Must save him

Yes dear, we must

We've got to think of a way

Vegetarian, we can look for vegetarian

You aren't wearing the 5 coloured ribbon

I gave you?

I thought it didn't match the gold necklace

so I took it off

God's will. Where is it now?

I left it at home

but I can't find it

I'm so sorry

Lizhi's spell is taking effect

If we don't think of a way

he will not live till tomorrow night

Mr. Shen

he is my only son

Please, please save him

Every debt has its debtor

The only way is to clarify with Zhangsan

But he is a form, from the group of

wrongful nadir spirits

The 5 colour ribbon is missing

I'm afraid my power can't suppress him

and everyone will be in danger

I'm not afraid

Me too

I'm not afraid, just intimidated

Actually it's none of our business

we better leave first

You may leave if you want to

Spirits of the sky and earth

show yourself to the tallying deity

May all the ghosts perish!

Urgent like the laws and decrees

No matter what happens

everyone must maintain your flower fingers

and don't make any sound

I'm fine

Zhangsan, an honest man doesn't indulge in dark deeds

show yourself

Everyone maintain your flower fingers and no sound

So you are Zhangsan?

Smelly priest

why do you summon me?

Zhangsan, bringing rancor souls

you'll never reincarnate

why are you doing this?

Let him go

I don't want to reincarnate

Because of his father I lost my descendent

I want him to be the same

Do you think you're capable of doing it?

Why not?

I want his life tomorrow night

What if he doesn't die tomorrow?

The king of hell ask you to die at 3

you don't dare stay alive till 5, right?

I!

I say he won't even die at 5

He'll even see the sun come out

You boast shamelessly

Let's make a bet

How?

By 6 am tomorrow, if you can't kill him

then you must not harm him again

Would you be watching over him the whole night?

No, nothing of that sort

Fine. It's settled then

So long as you do nothing, he'll die

I won't be here tomorrow night

it'll be the soul catcher that I bribed

Come over, all of you

Mr. Shen

Why must we return to our ancestral home?

All your ancestral tablets are here

at least they will bless Lizhi

With our combined strength

then we can fight again the soul catcher

Vegetarian, what about you?

I promised to do nothing

Those that can't transmigrate must have violated

the 4 taboos- wine, women, avarice & pride

Thus the 4 taboos

he's sure to take fancy to one of them

You must try your best to delay

Say for example, he likes playing mahjong

Then you must let him win

Let him forget the time

Once it's dawn we'll win

The soul catcher is a devil

comes and goes without a trace

he is very light

Why sprinkle the incense ash on the ground?

Only the incense ash will make his foot print appear

It's invisible then, right?

Only if you spurt him with holy water

then it will appear

The Kwan's knife is the last resort

we'll use to kill him

So he doesn't like to smoke

Wonder if he'd fancy a porno film?

He has no interest in pornography

Can I withdraw?

Of course not

No tricks

No peeping

Red dragon

What're you doing?

Nothing

What're you doing?

Nothing

What's happening?

Sixty thoudsand

No

Hey, why you don't want any tiles?

None of your business

Ten Thousand, want it?

Ten thousand? Game

I also can call it a game

What's with you?

I get the Thirteen Unique Wonders

What's wrong with you? Let him game

I've never called a game like this before

I game first

So what if you're a ghost?

Hurry, I'm holding him. Spurt him

Spurt him, come on

You're really useless

Hold him down, hold him

Quick, spread the ash

Sorry, I stepped on your tail

Don't move

Stop

Are you all right, mom?

I'm fine, how is Zhi?

He is fine

How's that ghost?

He has been deceived by us

and thought that it's dawn

Jing, ask your guys to pack up

Brothers, it's finished

Let's pack up. Thank you

I'll treat you all to a meal

Got it...

In order to save Zhi

you've really been embarrassed

It's been an arduous task for everyone to save him

Hope you don't take any offence of the past incidents

Don't worry, I understand

lt'll be dawn soon

Bring Zhi inside so he can rest peacefully

Okay

Xiaoyu

Nothing will happen to you, it's all over

I'll get you a blanket

Xiaoyu

Xiaoyu

Help!

Zhi

Zhi

Don't come over

Hold tight, Zhi. You hold on

Let go, let go of him

I'm not letting go

Have you looked at who you're holding?

Xiaoyu, I'm coming up

I've lots of laundry for you to wash

go back home to do the laundry, quick

No, no, I'm saving Zhi...

Xiaoyu

Zhi

How can this be? Zhi

Pull him up

Please move back, let me do it

The master that makes your hair in the beauty parlour,

what's his name?

How can I remember so many of them?

The one that we squabbled over for?

He's Peter... now go away, let me do it

No, you go away

You cannot be Zhi's mom

Let go, if you don't

I'll dig out your eyes

I'm not afraid of you

I know so long as I have courage

I'll be able to save Zhi

You bloody wretched ghost

even if he and I die

we'll turn into ghosts to take revenge

Ok, I'll cut off your hands

That make you scared, huh?

Let go, let go now

I'll not let go, no matter what

Lay down that butcher's knife; repent & you'll be saved

It's almost 6 am, you'll lose

6 am? Lt'll never be 6 am

You're so mean

Facing me with such paltry skills?

I'll kill you

Try to scare me with useless Buddhist chants

I'm not afraid of you without your 3 colour ribbon

How do you know I don't have it?

If you have, you'd have taken it out

Once the Bodhi ribbon is shown & the love knot fastened

you'll be banished to hell, never to be reincarnated

Don't try to frighten me

I'm not the soul catcher

Not going to be easily tricked by you

Young man, your Taoist attainment is not enough

your heart beats very fast

I know you've a guilty conscience

You don't have the coloured ribbon at all

All the ancestors, thank you for your help

The 52nd generation Li family's eldest daughter-in-law

take your position please

Zhi, Zhi

Xiaoyu

Vegetarian, we can't go over

come and help us please

Two hearts must become one

you've to depend on yourselves

The Li family ancestors will help you

Zhi, come

Hit him

Amitabha Buddha

Do you think Lizhi still can't be close to women?

Who knows!

You go and test him out

Alright

Me again?

Yes, hurry

Lizhi

Moron, you want me to stumble & die?

No women allowed to be close to him hereafter

It isn't that the ghost doesn't permit, it's ME!