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Original subtitles

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DYLAN: My dad is a writer who specialized in adventure.

This is Benjamin Mee.

I am surrounded by hundreds, probably thousands of killer bees.

If I wasn't wearing this suit, I would be dead in an instant!

ANNOUNCER: May I have your attention, please?

DYLAN: He interviewed dangerous dictators.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

What's your favorite movie?

Segunda.

DYLAN: He even flew into the center of Hurricane Charley.

It was a Category 4 storm.

How far are we from the eye?

PILOT: About two minutes!

This hurricane, sir,

Charley, is really kneading us well, sir.

Tell me when it gets severe!

(LAUGHS)

DYLAN: He knew the ins and outs of strange and exotic adventure,

backwards and forwards.

But nothing prepared him for this one.

Come on, come on. We're late, guys. Let's go. Come on.

- Come on, come on. We're really late. (PHONE RINGING)

ROSIE: - Dad, can you get my hair? - Yeah.

Dad, I'll just get waffles.

No, no, no, I want you to have eggs, man.

- We have time. You need the protein. - We don't have time.

- Mama always gave me almond milk. - Dad, you didn't read the label.

You didn't read the label.

- These aren't gluten free. - Will you do that?

- I can't eat these! - Did anybody even say good morning?

- Hello, Benjamin Mee. - Take your thing.

- Look, Dad, the dog! - Don't step on the...

- Hi, buddy. - Hi, Sharon.

No, I can't... I can't go hiking.

It's just not a great time for me.

Okay. Okay. Listen, I'm gonna call again tomorrow.

- Okay, thank you. - Great!

Where's our lunches?

What is on your feet?

Reindeer slippers.

BENJAMIN: Look, I am the one who gets the emails

about your lack of effort, man. Okay?

You either know where the book is or you don't.

Dad, it's whatever. Look, I'll know it when I get to school.

You know what? "Whatever" is the laziest word

of the 20th century, all right?

I'm... I've had it with "whatever."

I don't want to hear it again in this century ever again.

"Whatever" is over.

He says it all the time. He won't have anything left to say in this century.

I'm not lettin' you out of the car till I get a new word.

You know, you gotta focus, man.

If you focused as much on your homework

as you do on your artwork, you'd have it all.

- But as it is... - Dad, I finished The Seventh Tower.

You're gonna get an F.

Pernicious.

Thank you.

(MOUTHING)

BENJAMIN: Good word.

Dad. Nobody's gonna give an F to a kid whose mom died six months ago.

What does perni... pern...

pernicious mean?

It's causing insidious harm or ruin.

Causing damage.

DYLAN: Get out, get out, get out.

Keep goin', guys, come on.

Dad!

Man, all right.

I'll get you a new... I'll get you a new bag.

Come on, sweetie. Come on. Okay, where did Mom get the backpacks?

WOMAN: - Mr. Mee? - Just don't worry about it.

- Hi. Oh, okay. - Benjamin, I thought maybe...

Here you go, guys. Here's your bag, sweetheart. Here.

There's one, there's two, all right. Goodbye.

- Bye, honey. ROSIE: - Bye, Dad!

Bye, hon!

I thought, maybe...

It's lasagna. Dinner for three.

Great, thank you.

Or four.

You know, my brother is actually coming for dinner tonight.

So that's perfect.

And I'll get the dish back to you within the week.

In time. In time.

In time, then.

Thank you.

ROSIE: - Bye, Dad. - Bye, sweetheart.

Benjamin, I've arrived at a thought.

Tell me, Dunc.

I believe you should court the girl we met at Jamba Juice.

She's a stunner.

She keeps callin' me to go hiking.

- Benjamin, hike her. (CHUCKLES)

All right. Let's see.

BENJAMIN: Cerrado.

DUNCAN: Yeah, looks like Bernie's closed for renovations.

Which means Bernie's hung over.

Is she a stunner? I mean, is that what they call a stunner now?

I mean, what do I know? I was spoiled. I had the real thing.

Well, what else do we have around here?

Got Little Dom's.

No.

- Hey. - Nope. No.

Look. The world is gonna get very small

if you don't go to any of the places where you and Katherine used to go.

I met her there.

- Man, I'm sorry. That's right. - It's all right, man.

You know, I gotta get back anyway. Want to just do it next week?

Look.

You gotta let a little sunlight in. Okay?

Human interaction is a good thing.

Take it from a guy who spent six months on a commercial fishing boat in Bali

trying to find himself.

(CHUCKLES) - Remember that?

Yeah. And you know what I found?

I missed people.

So just do me a favor.

Attempt to start over.

I shall try to start over.

(LAUGHS)

- You're handsome! - Hey-a, so are you!

All right.

- I love you, my brother. - I love you, too, man.

You're a good guy.

Sunlight.

- Human interaction. - Got it!

Joy.

BENJAMIN: All right, McGinty, so get this.

I go to the volcano eruption site. And I take the kids.

And I write about the end of the world from the point of view

of the generation that's gonna save it.

And we do a whole thing about how life is elemental,

and all the software, and laptops,

and apps in the world aren't gonna change that.

And we call it... You ready?

iPocalypse.

Wow. Just wow.

It's good, right? I mean, I think it could be a series,

Like the killer bees.

That is bold stuff.

You're not gonna say yes, are you?

No. Listen.

I think we should give you an online column.

That way, you'll be protected. This is the way we live now.

If the paper goes down or gets sold, you'll still be safe.

You'll be viral.

Don't keep me around out of...

I am not!

Out of sympathy. I mean, I hate sympathy.

I'm sick of sympathy.

I know.

- You know what? - Bad things happen. You just keep going.

I quit.

Benjamin. You lost your wife, man.

In some quarters, sympathy would be considered the appropriate response.

No, I'm not gonna sit around here and spin my wheels

and live in a state of sponsored pity.

Please! Let me lay you off so you can get the benefits!

That's more sympathy! No!

I quit.

And I love you. And those patched elbows.

- You're killin' me. - I'll miss you.

Text me.

(CELL PHONE CHIMING)

Benjamin Mee.

(WINDOW SQUEAKING) - Classy. Real classy.

They left the cashbox right on the counter.

It was kind of their fault if you think about it.

That's three suspensions in one semester.

That's gotta be some kind of record.

Yeah, well, maybe I'll get a prize.

Could you possibly be making a joke right now?

(SQUEAKING CONTINUES) - Jesus, that is annoying!

- Dad, stop. - No, I can fix it.

Dad, here he come...

BENJAMIN: Frame's a little loose. I...

Just give me one second.

I'm fine with my squeaky window, Mr. Mee.

In fact, I rather enjoy it.

Besides today's theft,

there's a darkness here that we need to deal with.

Mr. Devereaux, Dylan's art teacher,

wanted you to see his wall mural.

We encourage creativity at the school.

There's a nice treatment of the word "love".

A whimsical portraiture of recycling.

A hard-hitting exposรฉ about world peace.

Here is the great Bob Marley.

Though we don't endorse all that he stood for.

Sunflowers.

And guess which one is your son's.

We're a three-strike school, Mr. Mee, and today was his fourth strike.

I'm sorry. We have to expel Dylan.

But, as one parent to another, I...

I would examine his inner life.

Let's go.

It's like he was expelling me for my artwork.

I can almost live with the artwork.

I mean, if Charles Manson needed a personal muralist, you'd be the guy.

But no, he didn't expel you because of the artwork.

He expelled you because you stole.

You stole!

It breaks my heart.

Always lasagna.

Dad, someday you're gonna have to eat some of that lasagna.

Honey...

Or throw it away.

(CHUCKLES)

Hey, why didn't you go to Sadie's for the play date, sweetie?

No reason. Lots to do here.

Hey, Rosie?

Am I doin' anything right?

You're handsomer than the other dads.

Lots of them don't have hair. So that's good.

Awesome. I'm gonna take baldness off my list of things to worry about.

(GIGGLES)

Good.

(EXHALES)

Daddy, I can't sleep. The neighbors again.

Come on.

(PARTYGOERS CHATTERING)

Their happy is too loud.

Hey!

STEVENS: It's a new day for you, Mr. B.

We have a full day of house hunting planned

and I think you'll be very excited at what's available.

We just want new. We want new... New everything.

New opportunities, new schools, just new.

In the current economic environment,

you're gonna find that now, the buyer is now the king.

But what I'm hopin' for is like a big backyard.

Substantial, you know, just rolling hills.

It's gonna be very hard to find rolling hills in the city.

- It just... It's just not available! - Right, well...

I mean, stationary hills. We...

The hills don't have to roll, right, honey?

- Yeah? - Just new.

Know what? It's all about new. People love new.

I love new. Hell, I'm new! Excuse my language, but I'm new.

- All right. - Hell, I'm new.

I'm glad you're excited about it.

- You know? I'm excited about new stuff. - Good.

- New is the new old. BENJAMIN: - New.

- New, new, new. BOTH: - New.

- I like you. - I like you, too, Rosie.

I wish Dylan had come with us. This is fun.

I wish Dylan were here, too. (LAUGHS)

The more, the merrier. That's what I always say, right?

Our mommy died.

Oh, wow.

My condolences go out to you and your family, Mr. Mee.

Uh... Wow.

Sweetheart, Mr. Stevens is a stranger, honey.

- He didn't know Mommy. - I know, but he should have.

Oh, oh, oh, oh...

Just knowing you, Rosie, right now,

I love your mom.

I love her. You know how I picture her?

I picture your face on a grown lady.

BENJAMIN: How long you been doin' this job?

First day. It's my first day.

- Really? - Hell, yeah. First day.

And so, our adventure begins.

ROSIE: Hmm. No.

Never.

Almost.

Not quite.

We are now running out of options.

Dad.

BENJAMIN: (CHUCKLING) Listen, what... I mean, what would we do with 18 acres?

STEVENS: I'm gonna be honest with you.

The Rosemoor property has some challenges.

Well, what doesn't?

STEVENS: True, but this situation... I want to offer the word "unique".

Wait a second. Is that it?

- Yes. - Rosie.

- And... BENJAMIN: - Look.

BENJAMIN: You don't have to take a picture, Rosie.

Why not?

'Cause we're gonna live here.

Mr. Mee, we have to talk, okay?

Let's not rush into things. Let's not...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Mr. Mee, right now,

I think we're jumpin' the gun.

This is exactly what we've been looking for.

Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Let's... Let's just take it all in first.

Don't take a gift that's not given to you yet, now. All right?

This place is perfect. Why didn't you mention it earlier?

Well, that's a bit complicated.

Well, complicated's okay.

Complicated can be great. We love complicated, right?

- Mmm-hmm. - What's so complicated about this place?

Well, you see, it's a...

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) It's a...

What is it?

(CHUCKLING) It has complications to it, Mr. Mee.

- And... (LION ROARS)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

It's a zoo.

A zoo?

It's a zoo.

Yay!

Yay. (LAUGHS)

(LION GROWLING)

- It was a fully function... (ROARS)

Whoo!

- Okay. - Man.

Totally scary.

This was a fully functioning zoo until two years ago.

Then it was shut down.

The estate's been maintaining it for now, you know, just to keep it up.

- Keep it goin', you know? - Well, I mean, could I, you know,

buy the property and then just relocate the animals?

Well, actually, the estate is sellin' the property with the stipulation

that whoever comes on board and buys the property

is going to care and maintain these endangered animals.

Oh, come on.

And then there's the remaining staff on board and, you know.

If no one buys this property soon,

these animals will probably have to be...

- Well. - Well.

Thanks. I mean, I don't know anything about animals and zoos.

- I mean, it's a... - It is.

- It is what it is. - It is what it is.

Sometimes you don't know what it is until you see what it is.

You know? Once you see what it is,

then you can figure out, is it what it is?

You understand?

- No, but we can move on. - Yeah.

It's just... It's just too bad.

Yeah.

- So we keep on lookin'. Right, Rosie? - Yeah.

Oh, God.

Great, I keep her home from school one day and she gets eaten!

ROSIE: Ring around the Rosie.

Hey, you want some food?

(GIGGLING)

Are you hungry? I think so.

Boy, it's a shame we... We can't just...

ROSIE: You must like it.

I like your feathers.

I like yours on your head. And I like your...

Your... No?

I'm gonna live here. I'm gonna keep you.

(ROSIE GIGGLES)

You look like my brother Dylan.

They're gonna... They're gonna get all your crackers.

(GIGGLES)

I said "human" interaction.

This is what happens when people have a you-know-what occur in their lives.

They wake up one day and they say,

"I'm gonna quit my job and try something completely different with my life.."

But then they wake up another day.

And they say to themselves, " Thank God"

"my older brother didn't let me blow Dad's inheritance"

"by buying a broken-down zoo in the country,"

"nine miles from the nearest Target store.."

But maybe my older brother didn't see this place.

- Gracias, Lupe. - Look.

This is... This is simple destiny.

The place makes 75% of its revenue in the summertime.

If I can get an inspection set for the end of June, right?

I'll be open by July.

It's only February right now.

It's a lot of work, but I think I can do it.

Duncan, you should have seen Rosie.

Look, do... I'm beggin' you, do what other people do. Go to Vegas.

Lose a little bit of money.

Or do what I did, when Sheila left me.

Start handicappin' horses?

Well, now, that was a little misguided.

Go into the commercial shrimping business and call myself Captain Dunk.

Start cliff diving in Acapulco at the age of 38.

I miss Sheila, man.

I know, man, I know.

All right, forget that.

Forget all that. Don't do what I did. Travel the stages of grief.

Yet, stop just before zebras get involved.

It's only two zebras.

And a lion. And a jaguar.

And 47 other species, seven of which are endangered.

And all of them are saved the second we make this deal.

The kids are gonna be so psyched.

- Really? Psyched? - Yeah.

Are they really gonna be psyched?

You're freakin' kidding me! It's a zoo!

Well, yeah.

Look, these animals need somebody to rescue them.

The... The animals need to be...

Dad, my friends are here! Our life is here!

Whoa! Man, you got expelled! All right?

What am I gonna do? What am I supposed to...

- What, I'm gonna home-school you? - No.

Right. So what did we talk about? A new place.

A new start.

This is what you want. It's not what I want!

What?

It's a zoo. I'm moving to a zoo.

We bought a zoo!

Yes, we did. We did buy a zoo. Give me some fork.

BENJAMIN: All right, let's let this shirt start over!

Okay, two more left.

A good one. Oldie but a goodie. What do you think?

Mommy used to wear that sometimes.

She did. This was a...

It started out as mine, but she kind of adopted it.

But it's got rips and everything everywhere.

Tough to give some of these things away, right?

- Keep it? - It's time.

Let that sweatshirt start over.

Let it start over. Okay. This is it.

Last item.

- Never. That, we're keeping! - Okay.

ROSIE: We're here!

Okay, look, the Jaguar Restaurant, guys!

How great is that?

(HORN HONKING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

BENJAMIN: Come on, guys. Grab a box, man. Go, go get a box.

Hey, this stuff can go to the kitchen.

Got it, thank you. Hey, look happy. Smile.

Have you even been inside yet?

Okay, guys, this is the whole storage side of the house!

And we got a back door to the kitchen.

Whoo!

That is a new smell! Wow!

What is that coming from? Rosie! Come here, look! Dead rats!

See, this is all the snake food, right?

I miss our home.

And what we do... Dyl, check this out.

What we do...

They're frozen, I guess, and you feed 'em to the snakes.

Hi. Kelly Foster, Head Zookeeper.

Right.

This is Robin Jones. Peter MacCready.

- Yep. - Robin's our craftsman.

And that's Crystal, our capuchin.

And Peter is our visionary.

He built the enclosures that set the standards

for modern zoos all across America.

And the world.

Yeah, and the world, yes.

And Peter and Robin do... Well, they basically do everything.

Except for the books and the telephone.

That's Rhonda over there.

This is my cousin Lily. She's 13. She can't legally work here,

so we pay her cash under the table out of my salary.

BENJAMIN: Hi, Lily. KELLY: She's being home-schooled.

She lives on the property.

Works at the Jaguar. That's it.

It's just us, Mr. Mee.

Well, it's great to meet all of you. I'm Benjamin.

This is Rosie, my daughter.

And my big boy, Dylan. And our dog, Leon.

And this is our zoo now, I guess.

And...

Love the house, smells and all. Right?

So I would like to declare us all modern-day adventurers.

And sponsors of animal greatness.

Okay, terrific. Let's go.

- Dad? - Yep, got it.

Can we see the otters? I'd love to see the otters.

And the snakes, and the monkeys.

How old are you?

Fourteen, I guess.

(LAUGHS)

So, when you get a second, there's a couple things

I need to go over with you about the upcoming inspection.

Yeah, the USDA inspector, Walt Ferris.

I'll kill him.

MacCready, stop.

This is Buster. He's our 650-pound North American grizzly.

He was 770, but... But he's been stressed out.

You know, he's moody. We had him on Paxil, but can't afford it.

So he's occasionally depressed.

He can still rip your arm off, though.

Hey, there, Buster. Are you missin' the meds?

(GROWLS) - Whoa.

(SIGHS)

This is Nathan. He does our water and feed.

- Hey, good to meet you. - Hi.

Talkin' to the animals has to be done in a super specific way.

You know, he doesn't have it yet, but he'll learn.

Where'd you get your shoes?

And how much did they cost?

You know, we have one Target and it's nine...

Wait. Wait! Wait, wait!

I thought they would roar like Solomon the Lion.

No, tigers and lions are very different.

Tigers don't growl or roar, they chuff.

Like...

(CHUFFING)

(CHUFFING) - Yeah.

When you chuff at them, they chuff back, see?

(CHUFFING)

(CHUFFING)

Try, go on.

(ROSIE CHUFFING)

(BENJAMIN CHUFFING)

Oh, my God.

That guy there, that's Spar.

He's our eldest. He's 17. He's a Bengal tiger.

You know, tigers have special sensors

in the front of their two-inch canines.

They can actually detect the pulse in your aorta.

So when they attack, they bite you,

take your pulse with their teeth,

reposition those suckers and boom, there goes your carotid.

Wow.

Yeah.

So there's a few decisions

you'll have to make straightaway, Ben.

Benjamin. Ben was my dad.

Spar, who you just met, the tiger? He's gonna need some special care,

so we have a large animal vet coming from San Diego.

It's just that he's a fortune to get here and...

That's okay, I'll pay.

Well, no, he... He's also very old,

so the truth is, we don't really know how much longer he's got and I...

Just set it up. What else do we have?

Rickety posts.

Beak rot in the tortoises.

A weak enclosure between the jaguars and the tigers.

They don't get along. We've...

Okay, why don't we start with the posts.

- Okay, the posts. - The posts in the cages?

The posts in what?

Look, they're not called cages, they're called enclosures.

They haven't been called cages in like a century.

My brief marriage, that was a cage.

Not mine.

I have a question for you.

You're some random guy from the city.

No one in the zoo community has ever heard of you.

You know nothing about animals.

And you've moved into a dump.

I mean, what kind of regular person just up and buys a place like this?

Especially somebody with kids. Why?

You have no idea what we've been dealing with here.

We used to have three times the staff.

They all quit.

I'm 28. I never go out.

I'm here every day.

My girlfriends, they text me,

they're out livin' their lives, meeting guys named Brett,

and I'm here shovellin' shit.

Bear shit!

I'm pathetic!

I had to move back in with my mother.

No one gets paid, Ben...

jamin.

We need somebody who can really take charge of this place

or else we and all these animals are gone.

So your question is?

Why did you buy this place?

Why not?

You comin'?

(VARIOUS ANIMALS CALLING)

WOMAN: Oh, my God! This is so fun!

(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

(ANIMALS CONTINUE CALLING)

MACCREADY:...would you sleep with this man?

(PEOPLE CHATTERING) - No! Kelly, would you sleep with this man?

(MELLOW ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

MACCREADY: Mermaid. A green-with-envy mermaid.

He doesn't walk with lions.

He never cheated the Wall of Death!

KELLY: No, that's true. MACCREADY: He...

Hey!

It's the most dangerous animal in the forest.

The adult boomer male.

Well done!

Yah!

Walter Ferris. I'll kill him!

(LAUGHING)

I will, I'll kill him.

I'll cut off his head with a sword.

I'll kill him without a thought.

(LAUGHING)

And he stole $500 from me,

back in the 1980s!

He's a crook!

Hi, Benjamin!

Your chair, sir.

He stole all of my ideas. And he gave them to the...

Sloane Animal Park.

Sloane Animal Park!

(ALL BOOING)

My visions! My waste canals!

My...

- Moats? - My moats!

And they shut us down.

- Okay. MACCREADY: - These are the thieves

of the spirit.

Oh, MacCready.

NATHAN: MacCready's gettin' deep tonight!

MACCREADY: Yeah! Deep!

Deep inside, too!

Here you go, boss.

Welcome to your zoo, Benjamin Mee.

Thank you.

He'll never last.

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, guys.

You are gonna love your new enclosure.

(SQUAWKING) - Whoa, okay, hey, hey. Hey, all right.

Whoa! Whoa!

Not bad. Actually, they're... They're pretty docile.

Not at night.

You like to get a little wild at night, huh?

You get a little crazy.

A little crazy nighttime for the...

(SQUAWKING LOUDLY)

(GROANING) Oh, man!

- You all right, boss? - Oh, man!

(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

ROBIN: Listen, you're not talkin' to 'em correctly, yet, boss.

You gotta be real with 'em.

I'm never talkin' to you again, you little asshole!

ROBIN: Now you're talkin' to 'em. There you go.

(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

DUNCAN: It's great. I get it.

This whole spiritual journey or whatever.

You know, we're all in cages, man.

I love it. But,

at the risk of stating the obvious, you're insane. Okay?

You're drilling yourself into

insane debt!

You good?

BENJAMIN: Yeah, all good. Thanks.

DUNCAN: Who's that?

That's Kelly.

Holy shit. Okay.

Here's the revised Duncan plan.

Dump the animals. Keep Kelly.

That's true joy.

It's about Rosie, man.

She is happy here.

Rosie is seven.

Just make her a nice zoo screensaver and she'll be just as happy.

Look. I'm tryin' to give 'em an authentic American experience.

And it ends with you authentically living

on my veloured couch with your two children.

I see you working in a field, in Bolivia,

for angry men. With large mustaches.

- Hey, back off. (CHIRPING)

(DYLAN HUMMING)

What ya doin'?

You want a sandwich?

No. That's okay.

How'd you get the nosebleed?

I slipped on the roof and banged it.

It's a weird house.

Yeah.

I like your drawing.

Thanks.

It's a little dark.

Where's the sun?

There's no sun in the underworld.

That I'm aware of.

- I'm off at 4:00. - Cool.

So I'll come back every day at 4:15 and bring you a sandwich.

Okay.

- Bye. Bye. - Bye.

Mr. Mee? We've got the bill from the feed company.

It's a little high, 'cause somebody had them deliver on a Saturday.

Hi.

RHONDA: More bad news.

Sorry. And I'd go to the Target if you want.

I'm not sure if all Dwyer's clothes fit him.

Dylan. His name's Dylan. His clothes are fine.

And I just have to say that I love this job.

But I keep getting calls on the overdrafts on these checks.

You're three weeks overdue on the purchase...

Hey, guys. I forgot to buy butter.

How important is butter to this meal tonight?

We're gonna take a vote.

And remember,

it's nine miles each way to the grocery store.

Nine miles.

Nine miles there. Nine miles back.

So I think the question we need to ask ourselves as a family

is butter worth your dad driving 18 miles

right now to get it?

Let's vote.

Long day for you, Ben?

Long day for you.

You should go home. We'll take over. We're good.

DYLAN: Corn's ready!

Eighteen miles for butter.

But I'm just tellin' Kelly here that she's gotta...

She's gotta go have some time to herself.

So, just tell me what, you know, just give me a list of what to do,

- and I'll do it. - Are you sure?

Yeah, we got it.

Okay. Spar has a...

A new medication, so let me just...

Make sure that this gets in his food

- and that he eats it all. - Okay.

Turn off the lights in the garage.

The garage.

There is a new shipment of exotic snakes,

so just leave them in the travel crates

and I'll put them in the exhibit in the morning.

And the monkeys need fruit as well.

Go home.

Go out.

Go to the city. Go find your girlfriends.

I think I'll just find my pillow.

- All right, good night. - Night.

Oh! That thing.

You wanted me to remember that thing,

- and I... - Go home.

Okay.

Nine point two miles.

So, technically, that's 18.4 miles for butter.

You know I found some, right?

BENJAMIN: All right, so Rosie and I'll

go to the tiger enclosure and give them some water.

Why don't you just go over to the garage

and make sure the lights are off in the side room?

Dad, I have a sick amount of homework tonight.

Dad!

Get it done!

(ROSIE GIGGLES)

Come on, Spar, you gotta take your meds.

(MOANS)

He looks tired, Dad.

He's gonna be okay.

Isn't that right, buddy?

(GRUNTS)

See that? He likes us.

Dylan really loves you, you know?

I know.

He's just mad that his friends don't visit him here.

He thought they would all visit. But nobody came.

(SIGHS)

Well, they will.

Ugh!

(HISSING)

Ugh!

Could you possibly point another fan at me?

You have three fans blowing on you.

I like it.

I can't even find you in there. You're like a Chilean miner.

We're gonna have to go get

Kelly and maybe even get MacCready.

Dig you out. My goodness. There, it's Miss...

- Nobody else. - There's Rosie.

(ROSIE CHUCKLES) - Was that a laugh?

(ROSIE LAUGHING)

What? Oh, no! Aha!

Don't... Don't look now. You're happy. Ha ha!

Your happy is too loud?

Uh-oh! Whose happy is loud?

Now what do we have here?

It's our old friend.

I didn't think this one was gonna make the trip.

Did Mama hurt a lot before she had to leave us?

Well...

Well, do you remember

the night that we were tucking you in,

and you asked Mommy that?

- No? - No.

Well, she said...

She said that it looked worse than it felt.

Remember? She said sometimes people look really sick

but they don't feel really sick.

Do you feel like you can't see her?

Yeah.

And you feel like you can't hear her voice?

ROSIE: Uh-huh. But I know what to do.

Catch her spirit.

BENJAMIN: Catch her spirit. That's right.

- Here it comes. - Okay, look for it.

There you go.

And put it in your heart.

It fell. Okay, get it.

Hold it there.

- Can you see her? - Yeah.

Yeah?

She's never far away.

- Right there. - That's right.

Mommy would always be in your heart and my shoulder.

(GIGGLES)

BENJAMIN: Are you ready to go to bed?

Do you want to... Do you want to keep this?

Okay.

Okay, sweetheart.

Good night.

BENJAMIN: Juice box. Yogurt and water.

Goldfish, I have.

Cereal bar for you. You're late, dude.

Did you even read that book? Man...

You're funny with everyone else, but never with me, which I find funny.

Well, you know what I find funny?

I gotta drive you 40,000 miles to school.

Here you go, one, two. There you go.

And don't think I don't notice you just changed the subject.

Dylan likes Lily.

Please, she's way younger than me. She's 12.

It doesn't work like that.

She's about a foot taller.

Don't be a tiny person.

- I'm an idiot. - Dude!

(HISSING)

I'll call Kelly.

This one seems really not happy with me.

- You got a big guy there. - Yeah.

We live on a snake farm!

Okay. That's a... Whoa. Come on.

- Wow. Wow. Wow. (CHUCKLING)

Yeah, I'm... Funny, funny.

Glad you guys are enjoyin' yourselves.

I mean, how could this even happen, man? I don't even know how you did this!

Dad, there's nothin' you could say to me

that's more harsh than what I'm sayin' to myself!

Well, I disagree!

I just want you to be happy, man.

Unless you don't want to be happy.

What is so great about being happy?

That you're happy.

I'm sorry I messed up the box of snakes.

Whatever!

ROSIE: You're not supposed to say that in this century.

He's so patronizing to me!

- Nice word, hotshot! DYLAN: - Yeah!

Whatever!

(SCREAMING)

KELLY: Now you'll notice here that I am stringing this cable

right near the hock, right near the center.

So I'm gonna have you string up this carcass in a tree.

It's good for the tigers to feel like they're searching for their food.

Like they do in the wild.

Awesome.

Hey, I'm pretty sure this is none of my business,

but I noticed that your kid really pushes your buttons.

You give him a lot of rope.

I did not appreciate the way he kicked that garter snake.

Hey, wait, I feel like I should be helping you here.

It's all good.

Yeah, look, he's 14, and he went through somethin'

that no kid should ever have to go through,

so I'm givin' him a little bit of leeway.

Look, honestly, I don't know.

I'm tryin' to figure it out. There's no manual for what happened.

I mean, a minute ago, he was into paper airplanes,

and now he's into portraits of decapitations.

- And they're really good. - Yeah, well,

what do I know? I still live with my mother.

I'm not good with people.

You're doing very well.

You know, I expected you to be heading for the hills by now.

Well, we got through today.

Yeah, we got through today.

(HUMMING)

(CAR APPROACHING)

Mayday, mayday! Kelly, do you copy?

- Full alert! - Copy, full alert.

Contain the dark lord.

It's Walter Ferris.

BENJAMIN: But no, no, no, no. He's supposed to come

a week before we open for the inspection.

Well, it looks like he's decided to pay a hello visit.

Yeah, but we're not even close to ready.

KELLY: Look, just be yourself.

This is life or death, man.

Okay, got it.

Keep MacCready away from him. We don't need any bloodshed today.

MACCREADY: - Let me out of here! - I'm sorry, MacCready!

The door seems to be stuck!

Benjamin Mee.

- Walter Ferris. - Pleasure.

Our inspection happens

a week before we open, according to my information.

So I've asked for June 30th, which would

get us open by July 7th. 7 /7.

I'm here for a pop by, Mr. Mee.

Great. Let's schedule a pop by.

We've only just really arrived here, Mr. Ferris.

A pop by, Mr. Mee, is, by its very definition, a surprise.

I'll be taking notes in preparation for the actual inspection.

As will I.

Now, we're responsible for the upkeep, not just the granting of licenses.

Welcome to the business of live-animal maintenance, Mr. Mee.

It's a real fun party.

Where's your zookeeper?

That's me. Kelly.

Hello, Kelly.

I have you down as an assistant.

No formal training?

I moved up.

Oh!

Now why would you buy this place?

I just can't get

a handle on it.

Wow.

You know, actually,

quite a lot's been written about

the innovative design of these enclosures

built by Peter MacCready.

I know all about MacCready.

I've been coming here long before you.

And I know what's in the Jaguar, too.

(WHIRRING)

You're eight inches short.

That's regulation.

New guidelines are being raised this year.

Raise the barrier heights, too.

I'd make that first priority, as well.

I see one of these tigers is 17 years of age?

Yeah, that's Spar, right here. He had a recent bout

with kidney disease. That's in remission now.

We're just dealin' with a little bit of hip dysplasia.

Have you begun to draw up an end-of-life plan?

Part of the humane care of an animal is preparing for the inevitable...

He's fine.

We had the vet come out from San Diego, took a look at him.

So we're all good there.

The endgame on a big cat can be very costly.

I understand, but we're not there yet.

Thank you for your concern.

I guess I just don't understand how you can call this place home.

You know what? Like this. It's our home.

Where is my old friend MacCready?

(GRUNTING)

Where is Ferris?

Okay, he gave us 12 top-priority items,

two medium-priority. We have one month.

How much of this can we get done in a month?

MACCREADY: I'll kill him!

Ferris!

I mean, how much is this gonna cost?

I'm gonna have to go take a look around.

You know, go through it in an itemized way, but,

I mean, you're gonna have to put some more skin in the game, boss.

How much?

I'd say you're lookin' at about a buck fifty here.

- Maybe a buck. - Okay.

ROSIE: A dollar fifty?

I have that.

Good, go get it. We're gonna need it.

Good.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

I'm just gonna take a little walk and wrap my brain around this one.

Well,

Ferris lusts you.

I'm not takin' one for the team, if that's what you're gettin' after.

I'm not gettin' after anything like that.

No way.

It's a shame about the new boss, huh?

He just got here and he's already thinkin' of quittin'.

Why are you saying that?

That is the posture of a quittin' man.

Ferris, that son of a bitch!

Wow.

It's the wrong day for this to be happening, man.

I got your sister home sick from school.

And you, I mean...

How do they send someone home early for moodiness?

I don't know. It's a sensitive school.

(SIGHS)

(GROWLS)

Buster?

(CONTINUES GROWLING)

Dyl, can you hand me my phone?

It is in the center console.

(QUIETLY) Got it.

Kelly. Benjamin.

KELLY: Full and total lockdown! Buster!

We're comin' up the foothill.

BENJAMIN: He's off the street and up in the woods!

Buster!

I'll take this side of the hill!

I called the vet from San Diego!

He'll be here with the big van, but it'll be expensive!

I'll pay whatever it takes!

We can't handle the publicity of an escape! It'll ruin us.

ROBIN: Buster! I know you're out there! Buster!

Buster!

(PANTING)

(TWIG SNAPS) (GROWLS)

Hey, Buster.

Let's just hang out.

Pretend we're at the zoo.

Buster, this is a big gun and I don't want to shoot you.

(BENJAMIN GROANS) (BUSTER GROWLS)

Holy shit.

(ROARING)

(GUNSHOT)

(PANTING)

MACCREADY: You got a shot? - I've got one.

He's been hit by a powerful tranquillizer!

Don't move, Mr. Mee! He might be faking it.

NATHAN: Way to go, Mr. Mee!

MACCREADY: I got him.

ROBIN: That's how you talk to him, Benjamin.

Yeah, Kelly Foster.

Ben contained him, so he's fine.

He was toyin' with you, my boy.

That's what they do before you become chips and salsa.

I saw him up here on the hill by himself. Utterly free.

MACCREADY: You were blessed.

I want to make his enclosure bigger.

- Bigger? - Bigger, we need it much bigger.

Well, you're the man.

You're the man who just stared down a 750-pound North American grizzly.

It looks like Buster is gonna be okay.

I take Visa. I prefer MasterCard.

(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY) (MELLOW ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

To Benjamin.

Our local hero.

NATHAN: Benjamin! Yeah! MACCREADY: Mr. Mee!

Stupidest thing I've ever done. Thank you.

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