All language subtitles for The.Silence.Of.The.Hams.1994.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese Download
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:21,009 You are about to witness a murder. My murder. 4 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:24,512 Alfred! 5 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,852 Why was I stabbed in the chest? 6 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,348 Did I know too much? 7 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,138 Did I know too little? 8 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,269 Did I know just enough? 9 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,102 Or was it my shower cap? 10 00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:43,994 It all began three short days ago in Los Angeles, California. 11 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,376 It was a day like any other day. 12 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,466 Can't we all just get along? 13 00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,411 Hey, hey, hey excuse me, hey, Rodney. 14 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,175 Hey, could you give me another take of that? 15 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,726 Last time I shot it, it was too dark. 16 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,930 It was night, remember? 17 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,140 - Thank you. - Hey! 18 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,449 Stop where you are! 19 00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:21,732 We're going to take 'em down! 20 00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,408 Dead or alive! 21 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,904 No more "Mr. nice guy"! 22 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,544 Tell me, don't die! 23 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,209 Tell me quick, who was it, who was it? 24 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,661 It was... who was it? 25 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,496 It was the gimp. 26 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:54,014 These are the feet of rookie FBI agent Jo Dee fostar. 27 00:03:56,778 --> 00:04:00,691 He is in heavy training for his first big case. 28 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:23,756 FBI rookies get the finest training equipment. 29 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,261 Thank you, Jo. 30 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,729 Pleasure. 31 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,397 See you tomorrow! 32 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,353 Morning, Jo. 33 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,733 Morning, George. 34 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:43,939 Still running, I see. 35 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,034 Sure. 36 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,486 I used to run for office. 37 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,202 Now you run to office. 38 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,954 What's so funny? I didn't get it. 39 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,623 - Oh, it's nothing. - You want some? 40 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,416 Oh, thank you, I got my own. 41 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:56,835 Ah, go for it. 42 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:03,719 Good morning, Jo. 43 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,214 Morning, bill, how's it going? 44 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,511 Fine, fine. 45 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,088 "Dawn of the dead" is it? 46 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:14,933 I see the presidential escort is out, but where's the president? 47 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:17,014 - He's right here. - Here? 48 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,099 I only see her husband. 49 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,276 What's so funny? 50 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:24,605 What's he blowing so hard for? 51 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,530 You know he doesn't inhale. 52 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:30,236 And no one in the us of a will inhale after I tax the air they breathe. 53 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,570 What do you mean by that? 54 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,907 This is the way you thank me after I save your ass from Saddam's killers? 55 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,441 Those missiles cost money, you know? 56 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,164 Who's going to pay for that? 57 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,683 Halt! 58 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,011 - You Jo Dee fostar? - How do you know? 59 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,746 30 years out on the job he wants to know. 60 00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,181 The boss wants you! 61 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,337 - The boss wants... - And where in hell have you been? 62 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,147 - I went outside on... - Shut up! 63 00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,524 I didn't authorize you to speak! 64 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,480 - Can I say one thing? - Why? Sure. 65 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,368 Okay, now look... 66 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:10,452 Shut up! 67 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,915 Unbelievable, have you read this? 68 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:19,459 Guy can go out and get a sex change one day. 69 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:23,664 And the next he comes into the office and we're supposed to call him madam. 70 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,419 Unbelievable. 71 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,092 Never mind him. 72 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:36,597 Remember, here you not only got to know how to talk, you got to know how to listen! 73 00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:38,895 After all, this is... 74 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:43,600 The FBI! 75 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:49,781 Jo followed the sergeant to a division of the FBI... 76 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:53,452 Who deal only with the most violent criminals. 77 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,579 The game is up lady. 78 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:59,749 We have had you followed and we know what you're about. 79 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:04,125 Miss Sharon bone, cut the crap and come clean! 80 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:07,207 I told you what happened that day. 81 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,218 I have nothing else to say. 82 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,092 Sharon bone, you're lying. 83 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,014 Stop pulling our legs! 84 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:33,241 If Jo thought this was going to be a routine assignment... 85 00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:36,365 He was in for a big surprise. 86 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,993 Now wait here boy, and stay put! 87 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:44,169 Remember, learning how to wait is one of the secrets of the FBI! 88 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:04,811 His boss, inspector putrid, was a man of energy and passion who held nothing in. 89 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:07,271 Hi, Jo. 90 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,943 Sorry to keep you waiting. 91 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,691 I don't feel too good. 92 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:14,775 Must've eaten something to upset my intestines. Could have been those oysters. 93 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:19,909 Fried the shell with Mexican refried beans, onions, paprika... 94 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:24,585 Peanut oil, dates, okra, jalapenos, a touch of ginger. 95 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,412 Not now, ginger. 96 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:32,129 Boy, I feel down in the dumps! 97 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:36,884 Speaking of dumps, that's the sixth time today I've ridden the old porcelain pony. 98 00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:41,093 Anyway, the mission I'm entrusting to you is very delicate. 99 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,427 It's a dirty job. 100 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:47,687 It really stinks, because the killer is a psychopath. 101 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,689 Extremely, extremely dangerous man. 102 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:56,650 In order to get the most accurate information possible... 103 00:08:56,745 --> 00:09:00,033 We decided to question all prison inmates who have the same hang-up. 104 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,364 What conclusions have you found? 105 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:06,077 There are no psychopathic inmates in the entire us of a. 106 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:09,254 That's too bad. I would've given $10,000 to meet one. 107 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,831 Oh, here's one! Found him! 108 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:15,293 I just remembered that I have one up in the Hollywood nuthouse. 109 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,388 Pay up, Jo. 110 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,547 Boss, come on now. It's just a figure of speech. 111 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:19,881 Settle down, boy. 112 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,136 Close the door. 113 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,467 Close the door! 114 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:29,065 Now you remember, boy, we don't use figures of speech around here. 115 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:33,065 You belong to the fb... 116 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,743 Thank god he missed my car. 117 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,164 $10,000. 118 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,991 This man is smart as a gorilla. 119 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,577 He's strong as a fox! 120 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:49,911 You be careful. 121 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,125 Thanks, boss. 122 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:57,339 Jo, I am sick of sneaking around during my lunch break. 123 00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,638 Either we get married or no more pokey. 124 00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:03,558 Jane, marrying you is my dream, but right now times are hard. 125 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:06,102 Yeah, I can see how hard they are. 126 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,726 Oh, but darling, money isn't everything. 127 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,399 I can get by on your cash flow. 128 00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:15,153 Jane, let's not touch that subject for the moment. 129 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,105 - Oh. - Lunch is over. 130 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,690 We got to get back to the office. 131 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,527 Jo, you're the longest boyfriend I've had here in Los Angeles... 132 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,203 But I can't take it anymore. 133 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,155 I want respectability. 134 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,287 I want a house with a white picket fence. 135 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,209 I want children parked in the garage. 136 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,287 I want a station wagon playing in the yard. 137 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,839 Wait, what are you trying to tell me? You want to leave me? 138 00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:38,510 You know this is a delicate moment. I have to finish my FBI training course. 139 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,712 They just assigned me to a very important case... 140 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,173 That could launch my career and you want me to marry you. 141 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:44,474 Knowing I just got a divorce. 142 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,722 All right, she was my mother, but she's still a woman. 143 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,223 And she loves me. 144 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:51,439 Which reminds me, I have to pay alimony. 145 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:54,768 Which I can't do because I don't have any money. Don't you see my dilemma? 146 00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:56,854 No, of course you don't. 147 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:59,610 Nope, you don't understand. 148 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,363 Or you don't want to understand. 149 00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:06,446 No, you don't want to understand and you're selfish. 150 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:10,705 You don't understand, you're selfish, and you're inconsiderate. 151 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:14,162 You don't understand, you're selfish, inconsiderate and, and... 152 00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:16,964 I'm sorry, you're sick and tired of hearing this aren't you? 153 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,051 You must leave, darling. 154 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:23,547 Ooh, Jo, I've never seen you so mighty before. 155 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:24,881 It's nothing. 156 00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:30,937 I always get this way when I'm in the act of solving a case. 157 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,139 I'll give you a lift. 158 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:36,317 That's okay, I can catch the bus right outside. 159 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,164 Jo was nervous. 160 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:58,214 His investigation had to begin at the Hollywood nuthouse. 161 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:06,844 There it was, ominous and intimidating. 162 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,301 Jo needed to proceed with caution. 163 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:16,608 And above all, not lose sight of his objective. 164 00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:37,120 Good evening. FBI, I have an appointment. 165 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,686 It was a tough prison. 166 00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:01,986 Inmates were released only if they consented to medical experiments. 167 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,734 Okay, malicious Mel. 168 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:06,157 Here are your personal affects. 169 00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:09,702 Must be pretty excited to be getting out of here after 30 years, huh? 170 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:15,579 This one just had cosmetic surgery. 171 00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:19,336 Bye bye now. 172 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,252 The man you want to see is in this wing. 173 00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,346 Good luck. 174 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:46,443 Master, master, why do I have such an ugly face? 175 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:49,446 Here, kiss this, it'll make you prettier! 176 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:52,370 Oh, it's alive, its alive! 177 00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,331 Buddy, you better be real careful. 178 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,124 Dr. animal is very dangerous. 179 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:08,177 His intelligence goes beyond the borders of the human mind. 180 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,971 His savagery goes beyond the borders of the animal. 181 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:13,971 How'd he go beyond all these borders if he doesn't have a passport? 182 00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,728 There's little to laugh about. 183 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,771 Look what he did to his victims. 184 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,601 Take those photos, it's terrible. 185 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:53,931 Well that's why they called him Dr. animal cannibal pizza. 186 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,260 He was a psychiatrist and one day he got evicted. 187 00:14:57,355 --> 00:15:00,813 Homeless and with no office and being of Italian origin... 188 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,563 He began to see his patients in a pizza joint during closing time. 189 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,270 You go down through this tunnel, then I'll open the gate... 190 00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,856 Which will lead to Dr. animals cell. 191 00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:13,569 Once inside, don't stop along the way... 192 00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:16,905 And don't be afraid of the other inmates in the wing. 193 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:24,253 And above all, don't feed Dr. animal. 194 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:28,208 Once upon a time a guard succumbed to his flattery and gave him a tomato. 195 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,884 The poor slob was found ground up in a bottle of ketchup... 196 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,384 On a table at McDonald's in San Diego. 197 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:37,968 Do me a favor, keep it down, this is a delicate case and my mission is top secret. 198 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:41,395 - Don't worry, my lips are sealed. - Thanks. 199 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:45,646 Hey guys, there's another asshole cop going down to see animal cannibal! 200 00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:49,649 Give me the phone, I want to call the newspapers! 201 00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:56,658 The maximum security wing, horrible, terrifying, blood-curdling. 202 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,128 Excuse me, miss. 203 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:16,593 Exactly where is the unbelievably bad maniacs wing? 204 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:17,684 Follow me. 205 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,974 Here we are sir. 206 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,760 Misery... misery must not die! 207 00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:15,652 Jo was about to meet the most diabolical and cunning killer of all time... 208 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:17,901 Dr. animal. 209 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:22,072 Good morning. 210 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,747 - Good morning. - Don't move. 211 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,449 Please, miss, don't say a word. 212 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,081 Just give me a moment. 213 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,583 You're a woman, you're black. 214 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,627 From a very strange place. 215 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:33,718 Cleveland! 216 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:36,669 You're wearing earth tones. 217 00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:41,258 You used to date a policeman, but you just couldn't cop it. 218 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,468 He made you very unhappy. 219 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,563 Is that... 220 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,980 Where is she? Where'd she go? And who are you? 221 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,649 I'm white and I'm male, you didn't get one of those things right. 222 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:51,736 I have a cold. 223 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:52,856 Are you from Pittsburgh? 224 00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,188 - No, I'm with the FBI. - Shit. 225 00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:56,898 I'm here for your advice. 226 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,574 May I be frank? 227 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,661 - I thought you were Jo? - All right, I'll be both. 228 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,241 I need your help to nail a killer. 229 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:03,821 I know, I know. 230 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:07,534 I have psychic powers but there's no air in here. 231 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:11,621 I'm cooped up. I'm being held against my will and my Willy. 232 00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:12,876 Don't you understand? 233 00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:16,084 My psychic powers have been farmisht. 234 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,387 - For what? - Forget it. 235 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,474 FBI. 236 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,598 May I see your credentials please? 237 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:29,058 Closer please. 238 00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:34,904 Closer. 239 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:38,325 Closer. 240 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,408 Close enough. 241 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:48,701 Oh how I long for nice hot pizza made with the brains of an intellect. 242 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,330 I miss that texture. 243 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,711 I can smell your aqua velva. 244 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,977 Pencils, pens, puce. 245 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,566 Give me a break. 246 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:19,991 Hey, stay. 247 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:32,578 Humpty dumpty sat on a wall, humpty dumpty had a great fall. 248 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:36,506 All the king's horses and all the king's men had scrambled eggs. 249 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:37,923 Oh, I like you, miss... 250 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,010 Mister. 251 00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:41,135 Please, call me doctor. 252 00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:42,758 Did you do those drawings, doctor? 253 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,181 Yes, I'm taking a correspondence course. 254 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:47,849 Dr. animal. 255 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:48,937 Call me a. 256 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,019 A? 257 00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:53,473 Also, call me doctor. 258 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:54,807 A doctor. 259 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:58,231 - Dr. a. - Excuse me. Dr. a. 260 00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:01,064 - Bingo. - Dr. a. Bingo? 261 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:02,694 Moving on. 262 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,863 See, it's the, well it's the first of my career actually. 263 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:10,164 - We're chasing a killer... - Bah! 264 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,661 I'm getting a vision. 265 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:15,665 Wait, I see a man-eating dog. 266 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,459 - Man-eating dog? - Yes, we could be friends. 267 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,883 He has fierce, fierce teeth. 268 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,677 He's biting all of his victims in the groin. 269 00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:24,764 Who? 270 00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:27,514 They all died with a surprised look on their face. 271 00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:28,601 It's no wonder. 272 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:31,018 Oh wait. Wait! 273 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,357 It's Lassie. 274 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,857 Hello, Lassie, what's going on? 275 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:40,562 Oh, she's very upset about Benji having all that screen time. 276 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:44,444 Wait, wait, she's also unhappy with little Timmy. 277 00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,025 The bitch is really pissed. 278 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,156 Doctor, I appreciate all you're doing for me. 279 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,612 I really do, but... 280 00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,493 - Oh don't be silly. - But... 281 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,120 It's all right, it's my pleasure. 282 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:54,210 But, but, but... 283 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,369 You sound like a motorboat, stow it! 284 00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:58,125 I grow tired. 285 00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:00,627 I go to the arms of orpheus! 286 00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:03,052 Goodnight. 287 00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:11,638 It's incredible. 288 00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:15,017 He doesn't even obey the law of gravity. 289 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:21,560 Meanwhile, Jane returned to work... 290 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:25,022 Hot realizing her life was about to make an abrupt change. 291 00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:32,114 Five, four, three, two, one, ignition. 292 00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:40,955 Mr. lobby, please come to reception. 293 00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:42,665 Is Mr. Laurel back yet? 294 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:43,760 No. 295 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,464 That dear sweet man. 296 00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:48,880 He's working so hard. 297 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:53,217 Sponging lunch off that rich Scandinavian client. 298 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,141 Miss reception, please come to the lobby. 299 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,642 You look funny. 300 00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:00,600 Have some coffee. 301 00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:04,061 You know for seven years now you've been asking me if I want coffee. 302 00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:05,487 I don't want coffee. 303 00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:06,734 I hate coffee! 304 00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:10,109 Sweet ladies. 305 00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:13,617 Your boss just closed one humongous deal. 306 00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:17,408 Hardy, bring out the drinks. 307 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:20,415 Laurel, my name is Laurel. 308 00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,246 It's a terrific deal. 309 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:25,875 I stuck it to him, I stuck it to him. 310 00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:27,050 For $400,000. 311 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:28,923 Excuse me. 312 00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,174 What's your name? 313 00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:32,632 Olaf, I'm Swedish. 314 00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:34,808 Come on, are you really Swedish? 315 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:36,101 Not really. 316 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,895 My father's Finnish and my mother's Russian. 317 00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:41,019 I could tell by your accent. 318 00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:44,694 Have some coffee, it's good for your circulation. 319 00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:45,815 No, thank you. 320 00:22:45,906 --> 00:22:48,943 I don't like coffee, I prefer salmon juice. 321 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,695 Well have some coffee! 322 00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:51,946 No! 323 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:54,153 Oh, it's very good. 324 00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:56,955 Why don't you tell him, Mr. Hardy. 325 00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:59,374 Laurel, my name is Laurel! 326 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:05,752 When she acts like that I could just smack her right in the mouth! 327 00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:09,210 Jane, dear, would you put the money in the safe please? 328 00:23:09,305 --> 00:23:10,305 Okay, boss. 329 00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:15,011 Right this way. 330 00:23:19,273 --> 00:23:21,514 I stuck it to him, I stuck it to him. 331 00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:23,600 Now, where were we? 332 00:23:23,694 --> 00:23:24,934 Have some coffee. 333 00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:26,519 It's good! 334 00:23:26,614 --> 00:23:30,402 I don't want none of your god damn coffee! 335 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,712 Marrying you is my biggest dream, but I don't have a dime! 336 00:23:52,806 --> 00:23:56,424 Your boss just closed one humongous deal. 337 00:23:56,518 --> 00:23:58,474 For $400,000. 338 00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:01,002 And now you want me to marry you knowing I just got a divorce. 339 00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:03,181 I always pay in cash. 340 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,936 Would you put all this money in the safe. 341 00:24:05,027 --> 00:24:07,860 Won't you take me to funky town? 342 00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:12,940 The voices in her head had exhausted her. 343 00:24:13,035 --> 00:24:16,493 So she pulled off the road and began sleeping like a baby. 344 00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:24,952 Dear Jane, you were right. 345 00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:27,459 The hell with being broke, let's get married anyway. 346 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:28,664 All I really want is you. 347 00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:30,545 Therefore, please fill out the attached form. 348 00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:32,797 A, is the house you live in yours? 349 00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:35,550 B, please list all stocks and bonds held. 350 00:24:35,641 --> 00:24:37,757 C, list any other possessions of value: 351 00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:40,058 Furs, jewelry, stamp collections, et cetera. 352 00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:44,521 Rover, how many times have I told you? 353 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:45,723 Hmm? 354 00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:49,982 Come on now, you know, there's no sitting on the table. 355 00:25:05,129 --> 00:25:09,964 Jo had an unexpected visitor, it was the woman in blue. 356 00:25:15,472 --> 00:25:17,508 Listen, bastard, I'll break your face! 357 00:25:17,599 --> 00:25:20,215 Where have you hidden my sister Jane? 358 00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:21,846 No wonder she didn't invite me over. 359 00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:22,972 What's your name? 360 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,099 - My name is Lily. - What's with the accent? 361 00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:29,524 It's not an accent, it's the dentures I inherited from my Polish grandmother. 362 00:25:30,612 --> 00:25:33,274 I want to know where Jane is, she's been missing since Friday! 363 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:36,198 That's awful, I'm very worried. We had reservations at the macaco. 364 00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:37,804 What are you doing for dinner tonight? 365 00:25:37,828 --> 00:25:40,194 Tell me where you stashed Jane or I call the cops! 366 00:25:40,289 --> 00:25:42,325 No need to do that. 367 00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:44,782 My name is Martin balsam. 368 00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:46,208 I'm a private eye. 369 00:25:46,295 --> 00:25:48,377 - Well come in. - No, no. 370 00:25:48,464 --> 00:25:53,049 I never enter a house without a search warrant. 371 00:25:53,135 --> 00:25:55,877 Can you show me your ID? 372 00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:59,342 You know you look better in pictures? 373 00:25:59,433 --> 00:26:01,219 You should see me in a bikini. 374 00:26:01,310 --> 00:26:02,310 What brings you here? 375 00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:11,312 I was hired by your sister's boss Mr. Laurel. 376 00:26:12,362 --> 00:26:15,274 Your sister took off with $400,000. 377 00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:17,992 Four... 400,000? 378 00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:21,610 She shouldn't have done that. I'll go find it. Her. 379 00:26:22,623 --> 00:26:24,238 - Jane! - Let him go. 380 00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:25,948 Let him go, he's very much in love. 381 00:26:26,043 --> 00:26:28,534 - With your sister? - No, with money. 382 00:26:29,379 --> 00:26:32,462 Whenever he comes to see her he puts in for travel expenses. 383 00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:36,792 Well, as soon as I get a lead, I'll let you know. 384 00:26:36,887 --> 00:26:38,047 Thank you, inspector! 385 00:26:38,138 --> 00:26:39,253 He'll break the case. 386 00:26:43,143 --> 00:26:45,475 He'll break his nose. 387 00:26:57,199 --> 00:26:59,861 Oh my god, it's an earthquake! 388 00:27:01,203 --> 00:27:02,613 It's the big one. 389 00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:10,621 Got a problem ma'am? 390 00:27:10,712 --> 00:27:11,872 Yes, officer. 391 00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:14,626 The tar on my gums is really unsightly. 392 00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:18,208 May I see your driver's license, please? 393 00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:22,974 Oops. 394 00:27:23,016 --> 00:27:25,507 I'm sorry that's my boyfriend Jo's. 395 00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:27,012 Oh! 396 00:27:27,104 --> 00:27:28,969 Can I have Jo's phone number? 397 00:27:29,064 --> 00:27:30,064 No! 398 00:28:13,942 --> 00:28:17,025 Excuse me. Sorry, charlene. Our fault! 399 00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:30,164 Finally destiny was about to bring Jane and me together. 400 00:29:02,616 --> 00:29:03,856 Good evening. 401 00:29:05,661 --> 00:29:08,152 Welcome to the cemetery motel. 402 00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:13,998 Cemetery is a strange name for a motel. 403 00:29:14,086 --> 00:29:19,080 This is not a motel called the cemetery, this is a cemetery called the motel. 404 00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:21,790 In fact, my name is Antonio motel. 405 00:29:21,885 --> 00:29:26,128 Believe me, here one really rests in peace. 406 00:29:35,857 --> 00:29:40,567 The police were hot on her trail, but at night the gods were with her. 407 00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:47,441 What can't I do for you? 408 00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:50,281 That storm is awful. 409 00:29:50,372 --> 00:29:52,954 The storms around here are really treacherous. 410 00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:55,953 They sneak up on you and stab you in the back. 411 00:29:56,044 --> 00:29:57,784 Cut right through to the bone! 412 00:29:57,879 --> 00:29:58,879 Listen... 413 00:29:58,922 --> 00:30:00,583 Blow after blow after blow! 414 00:30:00,674 --> 00:30:01,754 I'd like a room please. 415 00:30:01,842 --> 00:30:05,505 Striking, slicing, cutting, hacking, lopping! 416 00:30:05,595 --> 00:30:06,835 Right away ma'am. 417 00:30:06,930 --> 00:30:08,466 I have one all made up. 418 00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:09,888 It's the off season. 419 00:30:09,975 --> 00:30:11,931 During the season we are closed. 420 00:30:12,019 --> 00:30:13,680 Pick a key, any key. 421 00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:16,515 They are all the same. 422 00:30:16,606 --> 00:30:18,016 Ugh, what rotten luck. 423 00:30:18,108 --> 00:30:19,393 I just hate the number 13. 424 00:30:19,484 --> 00:30:21,315 I'll take you there. 425 00:30:21,403 --> 00:30:22,643 Right this way. 426 00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:27,655 Here we are, signorina. 427 00:30:27,743 --> 00:30:29,199 Goodnight, Mr. motel. 428 00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:31,447 Buona notte. 429 00:30:31,538 --> 00:30:34,280 By the way, where are you from? 430 00:30:34,374 --> 00:30:36,365 You have a very strange accent. 431 00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:38,075 I'm originally Italian. 432 00:30:38,170 --> 00:30:39,831 Oh, I love Italy. 433 00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:41,912 All your beautiful cities. 434 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:43,838 Paris, London, Munich. 435 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,092 What a beautiful, beautiful country. 436 00:30:47,179 --> 00:30:48,510 I don't remember your name. 437 00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:50,679 You know, nobody ever comes here. 438 00:30:50,766 --> 00:30:52,802 It's hard to remember them all. 439 00:30:52,893 --> 00:30:54,758 - Jane. - Ah, Jane. 440 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,306 Like my cousin Maria. 441 00:30:57,397 --> 00:31:01,310 Ah Jane, if you need anything just knock on the wall. 442 00:31:01,401 --> 00:31:02,641 I don't answer. 443 00:31:03,612 --> 00:31:04,943 I almost forgot. 444 00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:07,362 I'd like you to have a dinner with me later. 445 00:31:07,449 --> 00:31:12,864 There is an Italian restaurant quite close which does terrific Italian food. 446 00:31:12,954 --> 00:31:14,285 Let's go. 447 00:31:14,373 --> 00:31:16,455 I'm sorry, it's closed. 448 00:31:18,335 --> 00:31:20,371 Well, see what you can do. 449 00:31:20,462 --> 00:31:25,377 I can never get to sleep unless I get something into my tummy. 450 00:31:42,776 --> 00:31:45,438 She's going to come to a bad end. 451 00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:55,323 How many times have I told you? 452 00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:57,245 No women in the house! 453 00:31:57,332 --> 00:31:59,072 You must have straw in your head! 454 00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:00,748 Stupido! 455 00:32:00,836 --> 00:32:02,622 Mama, why are you talking? 456 00:32:02,712 --> 00:32:04,828 You haven't appeared yet in the movie. 457 00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:07,915 Please, read the script and shut up. 458 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:18,305 Mr. motel, I hope I haven't caused a problem by being here. 459 00:32:18,395 --> 00:32:19,805 No, no problem. 460 00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:22,137 I remember that you love Italian food. 461 00:32:22,232 --> 00:32:23,232 Do you like spaghetti? 462 00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:24,811 Yes, terrific. 463 00:32:24,901 --> 00:32:27,358 I'm sorry, I prepared tacos. 464 00:32:27,446 --> 00:32:28,561 Buona notte. 465 00:32:34,619 --> 00:32:35,984 Hello, who's speaking? 466 00:32:36,079 --> 00:32:37,410 This is your commander, Jo. 467 00:32:37,497 --> 00:32:39,408 Get over to hellraiser park on the double. 468 00:32:39,499 --> 00:32:41,615 The psycho killer has struck again. 469 00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:43,450 I'm on my way boss. 470 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:49,957 Even in the middle of the night Jo was ready for action. 471 00:32:51,678 --> 00:32:56,422 He got rid of his five o'clock shadow for a 10 o'clock shadow. 472 00:32:59,102 --> 00:33:02,094 Hey Tony, tie that yellow ribbon around the old oak tree. 473 00:33:02,189 --> 00:33:03,520 What's this thing for anyway? 474 00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:04,642 Catch flies. 475 00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:06,018 Ah. 476 00:33:09,696 --> 00:33:13,154 Oh, crazed murderer, psycho killer, all over the place. 477 00:33:13,241 --> 00:33:16,699 I'm sorry boss, I couldn't understand you with your cigar in your mouth there. 478 00:33:16,786 --> 00:33:19,619 Oh crazy, murder, psycho killer. 479 00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:23,748 I know, he must've been dead for weeks. 480 00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:25,555 I can smell that stink all the way out here. 481 00:33:25,629 --> 00:33:26,709 What stink? 482 00:33:26,796 --> 00:33:27,876 The decomposition. 483 00:33:27,964 --> 00:33:29,044 Oh no, no, no, no, no. 484 00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:30,167 That's not him, it's me. 485 00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:32,499 It's me, it's my breath. 486 00:33:32,594 --> 00:33:36,382 I don't think I completely digested those frozen pigeon patties after breakfast. 487 00:33:36,473 --> 00:33:40,466 Fried pork lard sauce, almonds, prunes, cilantro. 488 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,141 - Sergeant! - Yeah chief. 489 00:33:42,229 --> 00:33:45,096 - Has forensics come up with anything? - Yeah, yeah, go on in! 490 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:49,183 You see, Jo, sergeant here is a prime example of loyalty to the force. 491 00:33:49,277 --> 00:33:53,065 Always on the job even though he's feeling a little under the weather. 492 00:33:53,949 --> 00:33:55,655 I got to hand it to you. 493 00:34:00,956 --> 00:34:02,162 Did you find. 494 00:34:02,249 --> 00:34:03,249 Did you... 495 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,461 You find anything? Any prints? 496 00:34:10,549 --> 00:34:11,834 Just one. 497 00:34:11,925 --> 00:34:12,925 Over there. 498 00:34:14,344 --> 00:34:16,835 - Did you find anything else interesting? - Yes, this. 499 00:34:18,098 --> 00:34:19,258 What do you think? 500 00:34:19,349 --> 00:34:21,260 I've already read it. 501 00:34:40,453 --> 00:34:43,160 You sure there's only one victim? 502 00:34:43,248 --> 00:34:45,489 There's enough stuff here for twins. 503 00:35:28,376 --> 00:35:29,866 Pavarotti. 504 00:35:32,088 --> 00:35:37,924 Yes, it was Pavarotti who had eaten a cow and farted himself to pieces. 505 00:35:57,947 --> 00:36:00,188 This is an "indecent proposal.” 506 00:37:02,345 --> 00:37:03,926 Yeah, let's go, you guys. 507 00:37:04,013 --> 00:37:05,733 I thought you said this was a bridal shower? 508 00:37:05,807 --> 00:37:07,763 I told you we should've done this in pose. 509 00:37:07,851 --> 00:37:10,092 Have a nice breast. 510 00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:25,991 Peek-a-boo! 511 00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:48,847 I didn't even get a chance to... 512 00:38:04,199 --> 00:38:06,030 She's dead. 513 00:38:06,117 --> 00:38:08,153 She's not dead. 514 00:38:31,851 --> 00:38:33,967 Hasta la baby vista. 515 00:38:34,062 --> 00:38:36,974 Hasta la, hasta la... 516 00:38:38,233 --> 00:38:40,975 The next morning, the FBI had a hot suspect. 517 00:38:41,069 --> 00:38:42,775 Ma'am, we've heard quite enough. 518 00:38:42,862 --> 00:38:44,978 This is a free country. You can't arrest me. 519 00:38:45,073 --> 00:38:46,813 I know my rights. 520 00:38:46,908 --> 00:38:50,446 Ma'am, smoking a cigar in a non-smoking restaurant is a federal offense. 521 00:38:50,537 --> 00:38:52,118 My husband will hear about this. 522 00:38:52,205 --> 00:38:54,412 You'll pay for this! 523 00:38:54,499 --> 00:38:58,913 Can't pay much more than we're paying already lady. 524 00:39:00,547 --> 00:39:01,662 This is an injustice! 525 00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:02,916 It's not fair! 526 00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:06,841 In conclusion, I'd like to say we're going to nail this... 527 00:39:06,928 --> 00:39:09,044 Psycho killer it's going to have to take teamwork. 528 00:39:09,138 --> 00:39:10,253 Your teamwork. 529 00:39:11,140 --> 00:39:12,721 'Cause you're the best. 530 00:39:12,809 --> 00:39:14,265 You're the best of the best. 531 00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:16,843 You're the best of the best of the bunch. 532 00:39:16,938 --> 00:39:19,179 Jo, mayor's on the phone! 533 00:39:22,986 --> 00:39:24,271 Sorry, Mr. mayor. 534 00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:27,479 He wants to know what's happening with the psycho killer case! 535 00:39:27,574 --> 00:39:30,657 I told him not to worry, Jo's handling it! 536 00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:33,325 So in case there's any fuck up, it's your ass. 537 00:39:33,413 --> 00:39:35,904 Yes sir, my kickback check's in the mail. Oh, Jo, here. 538 00:39:35,999 --> 00:39:38,991 There's actually no problem, the mayor's a sweetheart. 539 00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:42,588 Good evening, Mr. mayor. 540 00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:43,790 Jo, listen to me. 541 00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:47,090 Oh that's very interesting sir, really, but I no longer... 542 00:39:47,176 --> 00:39:48,882 The governor's on my ass. 543 00:39:48,970 --> 00:39:50,255 I'd be demoted. 544 00:39:50,346 --> 00:39:52,086 I can't handle it, Jo. 545 00:39:53,141 --> 00:39:55,427 First I was president, then mayor. 546 00:39:55,518 --> 00:39:59,727 If you fail, I could end up being a proctologist! 547 00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:02,351 Jo, I'm no crook, I'm no crook. 548 00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:05,309 I'm no crook... I'm no crook, Jo! 549 00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:06,463 - Listen to me! - Thank you. 550 00:40:06,487 --> 00:40:09,900 Thank you very much, mayor, you've been a real big help. 551 00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:12,528 Okay, where'd I put my weapon? 552 00:40:15,288 --> 00:40:17,199 There it is, of course. 553 00:40:23,338 --> 00:40:25,494 Stop it! 554 00:40:28,176 --> 00:40:29,461 Jo had no time to lose. 555 00:40:29,552 --> 00:40:33,261 With every passing day the money was slipping through his hands. 556 00:40:33,348 --> 00:40:34,348 $400. 557 00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:36,764 400 grand. 558 00:40:36,851 --> 00:40:39,058 Sorry. 559 00:40:41,105 --> 00:40:43,312 Somebody stop her! 560 00:40:49,697 --> 00:40:50,732 Dr. animal? 561 00:40:54,911 --> 00:40:58,824 I have crossed oceans of time to find you. 562 00:40:58,915 --> 00:41:02,407 I know, I know my part is crooked. 563 00:41:02,502 --> 00:41:04,743 I can't use a mirror. 564 00:41:04,837 --> 00:41:05,872 Don't move, miss. 565 00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:07,795 You are a young woman... 566 00:41:07,882 --> 00:41:12,216 You're black, a newspaper reporter from des moines. 567 00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:13,509 No, no, no, flint. 568 00:41:13,596 --> 00:41:14,631 Flint, Michigan. 569 00:41:24,190 --> 00:41:25,680 Sorry, no cigar. 570 00:41:29,988 --> 00:41:32,946 I've been cooped up in this place for eight years. 571 00:41:33,032 --> 00:41:36,695 Of all the things I've lost, I think I miss my mind the most. 572 00:41:36,786 --> 00:41:40,199 I was hoping for something with a view. 573 00:41:40,289 --> 00:41:42,029 I miss a brain. 574 00:41:42,125 --> 00:41:44,036 Brains were my specialty you know. 575 00:41:44,127 --> 00:41:45,412 Brains with... 576 00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:47,494 How about with fava beans? 577 00:41:47,588 --> 00:41:51,251 If I had fava beans, I'd be free. 578 00:41:51,342 --> 00:41:53,173 I'd blow that back wall right out! 579 00:41:53,261 --> 00:41:54,301 A woman has disappeared... 580 00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:57,025 And I fear that she's fallen into the hands of the psycho killer. 581 00:41:57,098 --> 00:41:58,098 So. 582 00:41:58,141 --> 00:41:59,426 So, do you know where he is? 583 00:41:59,517 --> 00:42:01,382 Make it interesting for me. 584 00:42:01,477 --> 00:42:03,559 I get to ask you three questions. 585 00:42:03,646 --> 00:42:06,558 And don't lie, 'cause I'll know. 586 00:42:06,649 --> 00:42:07,649 Do you? 587 00:42:07,734 --> 00:42:09,099 Never touch it, never will. 588 00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:10,399 First question. 589 00:42:11,237 --> 00:42:14,274 What are you most frightened of, claresse? 590 00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:15,605 Anchovies. 591 00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:16,860 Good answer. 592 00:42:17,744 --> 00:42:23,956 Now, describe your most dirty, decadent, disgusting, dangerous, 593 00:42:24,042 --> 00:42:30,584 defective, decorative, defoliated, decotaged, deformed, dry dream. 594 00:42:31,674 --> 00:42:32,674 Ham. 595 00:42:32,717 --> 00:42:33,797 Was the ham... 596 00:42:35,970 --> 00:42:37,050 Silent? 597 00:42:37,138 --> 00:42:39,595 Ham can be very quiet, very quiet. 598 00:42:39,682 --> 00:42:45,177 Unless the ham is falling down stairs, then it goes boom Dee boom da bum bum boom boom. 599 00:42:45,271 --> 00:42:47,353 Celery is very loud. 600 00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:48,600 Apples louder. 601 00:42:49,942 --> 00:42:54,527 Unless you have applesauce, which goes very well with ham. 602 00:42:54,614 --> 00:42:56,195 Doesn't it, claresse? 603 00:42:56,282 --> 00:42:58,147 Please no more questions. 604 00:42:58,242 --> 00:43:01,609 - Now they've got to help me. - Enough about me. 605 00:43:01,704 --> 00:43:05,697 Jane has disappeared with 400 grand and that dickhead detective is chasing her. 606 00:43:05,792 --> 00:43:07,657 I've got to get to her first. 607 00:43:07,752 --> 00:43:09,458 With only half that money... 608 00:43:09,545 --> 00:43:11,857 We could be partners and start Dr. animal's pizza place. 609 00:43:11,881 --> 00:43:13,542 Just think of it. 610 00:43:13,633 --> 00:43:15,749 Iggy-boo. 611 00:43:15,843 --> 00:43:17,299 Iggy-boo? What is that? 612 00:43:17,386 --> 00:43:19,593 - My happy noise. - Oh. 613 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:20,680 All right, you win. 614 00:43:20,723 --> 00:43:24,386 Psycho killer was a portion... Patron... patient of mine. 615 00:43:25,061 --> 00:43:27,552 He suffered from schizophrenia. Don't you understand? 616 00:43:27,647 --> 00:43:33,108 The killer's real name is Antonio and he hates his mother. 617 00:43:33,194 --> 00:43:34,229 Why? 618 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:35,981 Maybe because she's a pain in the ass. 619 00:43:36,072 --> 00:43:37,187 Did you ever think of that? 620 00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:38,441 So where is Antonio? 621 00:43:38,533 --> 00:43:44,153 Very near, and he'll be even nearer when I get to see Dr. animal's pizza place. 622 00:43:51,462 --> 00:43:53,202 All right, it's been nice talking to you. 623 00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:54,457 Time to rest. 624 00:43:54,549 --> 00:43:56,005 My brain is hurting. 625 00:43:56,092 --> 00:43:57,252 Nighty, night! 626 00:43:57,301 --> 00:43:58,301 Allez hop! 627 00:43:59,846 --> 00:44:01,552 Iggy-boo! 628 00:44:02,723 --> 00:44:05,385 Ooh, I wish I had a marshmallow. 629 00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:09,977 His hang time is longer than Jordan's. 630 00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:18,311 In his search for Jane, detective balsam checked out every classy motel in town. 631 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,533 Including the Jack the ripper motor inn. 632 00:44:33,588 --> 00:44:35,704 - Here you go. - Thank you, sir. 633 00:44:35,798 --> 00:44:38,380 Okay, have a party with that. 634 00:44:51,397 --> 00:44:54,230 Take me to a nice hospital please. 635 00:44:58,988 --> 00:45:01,354 That motel can really stick it to you. 636 00:45:01,449 --> 00:45:02,529 That's a pun. 637 00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:09,620 The next morning I was handling my business when detective balsam came into my life. 638 00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:13,495 After checking 642 different motels... 639 00:45:13,586 --> 00:45:17,545 Clever balsam went down the wrong street and found the right one. 640 00:45:20,635 --> 00:45:24,093 He pulled up in a rented car that had every new option. 641 00:45:28,142 --> 00:45:30,884 Including frequent flyer mileage. 642 00:45:44,784 --> 00:45:47,446 Have you seen her? Her name is Jane wine. 643 00:45:47,536 --> 00:45:49,242 I have never seen her. 644 00:45:49,330 --> 00:45:51,696 You're absolutely sure? 645 00:45:51,791 --> 00:45:54,328 100% scout's honor. 646 00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:55,749 You don't believe me? 647 00:45:55,836 --> 00:45:57,747 Do you want to check the register? 648 00:45:57,838 --> 00:46:00,375 No, I wouldn't dream of it. 649 00:46:00,466 --> 00:46:03,378 He doesn't find her, he doesn't find her. 650 00:46:03,469 --> 00:46:04,549 He found her. 651 00:46:05,972 --> 00:46:08,258 I think you better come clean. 652 00:46:08,349 --> 00:46:11,466 I recognize the anagram of her signature. 653 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,642 Now, when did she arrive? 654 00:46:14,814 --> 00:46:19,604 She was here Sunday, but she checked out the next morning. 655 00:46:19,694 --> 00:46:20,809 Ah, Tuesday. 656 00:46:22,029 --> 00:46:23,189 Then you were here? 657 00:46:23,281 --> 00:46:24,862 Yes, I were here. 658 00:46:24,949 --> 00:46:26,064 I was here. 659 00:46:26,158 --> 00:46:29,400 You too? If so, why are you asking me? 660 00:46:30,663 --> 00:46:32,619 Move on. What happened? 661 00:46:32,707 --> 00:46:37,872 It was raining and she was starving, so I whipped up some sharper knife. 662 00:46:37,962 --> 00:46:39,077 Some sandwich. 663 00:46:39,171 --> 00:46:42,083 After she ate she wasn't hungry anymore... 664 00:46:42,174 --> 00:46:44,881 Then she went right off to the bed in the swamp. 665 00:46:44,969 --> 00:46:46,505 In the suite. 666 00:46:47,096 --> 00:46:50,964 And she told me she had a long drive the next morning. 667 00:46:51,058 --> 00:46:53,390 That is the trout. 668 00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:54,477 The trout? 669 00:46:54,562 --> 00:46:56,393 Yes, I'm not a liar. 670 00:46:57,273 --> 00:46:58,979 I tell you the trout. 671 00:46:59,066 --> 00:47:01,773 The truth, I want the truth. 672 00:47:01,861 --> 00:47:04,398 It's not a problem, okay. 673 00:47:04,488 --> 00:47:05,944 Here it is. 674 00:47:06,032 --> 00:47:07,488 The truth. 675 00:47:07,575 --> 00:47:10,112 And so now I have to make the beds. 676 00:47:10,202 --> 00:47:12,033 I told you all I know. 677 00:47:37,521 --> 00:47:40,354 What are you doing, Mr. motel? 678 00:47:40,441 --> 00:47:42,898 I told you, making the bed. 679 00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:44,771 I make them every morning. 680 00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:47,604 Running a motel is a killing job. 681 00:47:49,909 --> 00:47:54,278 I saw somebody at the window in that house. 682 00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:56,829 Is anybody living there? 683 00:47:56,916 --> 00:47:59,874 No. I mean yes, my mother. 684 00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,575 She's retired. 685 00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:03,410 I'll be seeing you. 686 00:48:06,384 --> 00:48:08,841 I won't be seeing you! 687 00:48:08,928 --> 00:48:10,589 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 688 00:48:10,679 --> 00:48:15,756 Goodbye. 689 00:48:17,436 --> 00:48:18,436 Goodbye. 690 00:48:18,479 --> 00:48:19,479 Goodbye! 691 00:48:20,439 --> 00:48:25,058 - Goodbye! - Goodbye! 692 00:48:25,152 --> 00:48:27,143 Goodbye! 693 00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:30,651 What a jerk. He left without saying goodbye. 694 00:48:37,206 --> 00:48:38,206 Hello. 695 00:48:38,249 --> 00:48:41,241 Jane slept at the cemetery motel. 696 00:48:41,335 --> 00:48:42,791 Oh my god. 697 00:48:42,878 --> 00:48:46,587 Your sister had a cabin, number 13. 698 00:48:46,674 --> 00:48:48,414 Talking about jinxes! 699 00:48:48,509 --> 00:48:52,843 Oh come on, Lily, don't be so superstitious. 700 00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:55,171 13, that's a lot of hogwash. 701 00:48:55,266 --> 00:48:58,633 But anyway, I'm not satisfied yet. 702 00:48:58,727 --> 00:49:06,350 This guy has an ambulant mother whom I believe saw Jane and whether Antonio... 703 00:49:06,444 --> 00:49:13,816 Motel likes it or not, I'm going back to motel's motel and question her. 704 00:49:15,119 --> 00:49:18,862 It's your ass, that's what you're paid for. 705 00:49:31,302 --> 00:49:34,135 Alone in a private plane, agent Jo finally decides... 706 00:49:34,221 --> 00:49:35,461 Oh no, wait, wait. 707 00:49:35,556 --> 00:49:37,012 No, forget it, I'm sorry. 708 00:49:37,099 --> 00:49:38,680 This scene was cut. 709 00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:49,854 I feel I've done this before. 710 00:50:36,909 --> 00:50:37,989 Surprise! 711 00:50:40,162 --> 00:50:42,244 - Again? - Yes. 712 00:50:44,416 --> 00:50:45,906 And now the stairs! 713 00:50:46,001 --> 00:50:48,162 The stairs, no! 714 00:51:24,164 --> 00:51:28,157 Jo had to promise Dr. animal a pizza place and now he delivered. 715 00:51:33,507 --> 00:51:35,748 Is miss fostar here yet? 716 00:51:35,843 --> 00:51:36,878 Mister. 717 00:51:36,969 --> 00:51:38,209 Call me doctor, please. 718 00:51:38,304 --> 00:51:40,386 Not yet, Dr. please. 719 00:51:40,472 --> 00:51:41,882 He should be here soon. 720 00:51:41,974 --> 00:51:46,559 Because he was late Jo tried to beat out an oil truck for a parking space. 721 00:51:53,485 --> 00:51:54,816 Hey, where you going? 722 00:51:54,903 --> 00:51:57,110 You dented my freaking Fender! 723 00:51:57,197 --> 00:52:00,405 I'll be back. 724 00:52:00,492 --> 00:52:02,949 - Fellas. - Howdy do. 725 00:52:03,037 --> 00:52:06,154 - Dr. enema. - Long time no see. 726 00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:09,240 As you can see, I've kept up my end of the bargain... 727 00:52:09,335 --> 00:52:12,418 May this be the beginning of Dr. animals pizza place. 728 00:52:12,504 --> 00:52:13,504 Iggy-boo! 729 00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:16,080 My brain is tingling! 730 00:52:16,175 --> 00:52:18,086 - I'm glad. - Moi ici. 731 00:52:18,177 --> 00:52:21,044 - What? - French, me too. 732 00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:22,719 - The contract. - Right here. 733 00:52:22,806 --> 00:52:24,387 - The license. - Right here. 734 00:52:24,475 --> 00:52:28,218 All right, miss fostar, I have to ask you, do you have the photos of the waitresses? 735 00:52:28,312 --> 00:52:31,099 Yes, and the phone numbers. 736 00:52:31,190 --> 00:52:33,055 Very foodie, this is great! 737 00:52:33,150 --> 00:52:35,141 The cooks dental x-rays? 738 00:52:37,071 --> 00:52:38,652 Bathroom faucets? 739 00:52:39,698 --> 00:52:42,405 A spare tire from the cleaning woman's car. 740 00:52:45,037 --> 00:52:48,950 The shoe sizes of everyone in the entire staff. 741 00:52:49,875 --> 00:52:52,537 The maitre d's ball bearings. 742 00:52:52,628 --> 00:52:54,368 They're smaller than I thought. 743 00:52:54,463 --> 00:52:55,327 They're all set. 744 00:52:55,422 --> 00:52:57,208 - I'm satisfied. - Good. 745 00:52:57,299 --> 00:52:59,459 Now will you please tell me where the psycho killer is? 746 00:52:59,510 --> 00:53:01,375 All right, all right. 747 00:53:01,470 --> 00:53:03,802 After all, a view is a view. 748 00:53:05,265 --> 00:53:08,928 Come to think of it, maybe I will have a piece of veal. 749 00:53:09,019 --> 00:53:10,759 Where is the psycho killer! 750 00:53:10,854 --> 00:53:12,560 The killer is near. 751 00:53:12,648 --> 00:53:15,890 Just outside of town, right under your nose. 752 00:53:15,984 --> 00:53:17,770 The cemetery motel. 753 00:53:17,861 --> 00:53:19,522 Thank you, thank you, doctor. 754 00:53:19,613 --> 00:53:22,293 In all honesty, really, thank you. I couldn't have done without you. 755 00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:24,610 No, I mean it. This man is amazing. 756 00:53:24,702 --> 00:53:25,862 From the bottom of my heart. 757 00:53:25,953 --> 00:53:28,865 And please, don't forget, I own 10% of this place. 758 00:53:28,956 --> 00:53:29,956 Bye. 759 00:53:30,624 --> 00:53:32,080 10%. 760 00:53:32,167 --> 00:53:36,080 Less than my manager. I'm going to miss him. 761 00:53:45,556 --> 00:53:47,717 Nosy snoop of a private eye. 762 00:53:47,808 --> 00:53:51,721 Nobody will ever suspect you in your car under here. 763 00:53:56,525 --> 00:53:58,641 Detective balsam? 764 00:53:58,736 --> 00:54:02,735 Detective balsam! 765 00:54:02,823 --> 00:54:05,860 Mama Mia, the work never ends here. 766 00:54:05,951 --> 00:54:07,532 Detective balsam! 767 00:54:08,620 --> 00:54:11,532 Detective balsam! 768 00:54:13,834 --> 00:54:16,667 Only way to stop a hog when it's rutting. 769 00:54:18,213 --> 00:54:21,205 Jo went back to his place to clean up. 770 00:54:23,510 --> 00:54:24,875 You sweat like a hog in heat. 771 00:54:24,970 --> 00:54:27,427 - Fuck you. He didn't come here? - He who? 772 00:54:27,514 --> 00:54:29,220 Detective balsam! 773 00:54:32,186 --> 00:54:33,392 He wasn't at the motel? 774 00:54:33,479 --> 00:54:35,390 No, nor was Jane. 775 00:54:35,481 --> 00:54:37,441 And I couldn't find that manager, what's his name? 776 00:54:37,483 --> 00:54:39,644 - Frank. - Yeah, Antonio. 777 00:54:40,652 --> 00:54:43,735 And I couldn't enter the house because I didn't have a warrant. 778 00:54:43,822 --> 00:54:47,189 She didn't answer the door, she just dumped a pail of water on my head. 779 00:54:47,284 --> 00:54:48,364 Good thing she missed. 780 00:54:48,452 --> 00:54:50,693 Yeah. I tell you it's weird, it's too weird. 781 00:54:50,788 --> 00:54:54,155 Balsam calls, says he's got a hunch, right, then he disappears. 782 00:54:57,252 --> 00:54:58,252 Poor Jane. 783 00:54:59,713 --> 00:55:02,125 Who knows where she could be? 784 00:55:03,133 --> 00:55:05,044 I bet she's in trouble. 785 00:55:06,220 --> 00:55:08,927 I bet they've done things to her. 786 00:55:10,098 --> 00:55:12,339 I bet they've tortured her. 787 00:55:13,644 --> 00:55:15,225 I bet they swiped the money... 788 00:55:15,312 --> 00:55:16,848 No! Not that! 789 00:55:16,939 --> 00:55:18,099 Anything but that! 790 00:55:18,190 --> 00:55:20,476 I tell you we'll find her all right, alive and in cash. 791 00:55:32,246 --> 00:55:34,157 Who the fuck is calling me at this hour? 792 00:55:34,248 --> 00:55:35,829 Boss, it's me. I need to get a... 793 00:55:35,916 --> 00:55:37,497 Christ. Look, Jo... 794 00:55:37,584 --> 00:55:39,729 Listen, Jane has really stuck her foot in it this time. 795 00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:41,473 - She's at the motel outside of town. - Hey! 796 00:55:41,505 --> 00:55:44,247 I'm about to stick my babascas into something a hell of a lot damper. 797 00:55:44,341 --> 00:55:46,301 Hell of a lot warmer too. So I'll make this quick. 798 00:55:46,385 --> 00:55:48,105 All right, I need a search warrant and fast. 799 00:55:48,136 --> 00:55:49,967 Getting a search warrant will take too long. 800 00:55:50,055 --> 00:55:52,262 And besides, this case is top secret! 801 00:55:52,349 --> 00:55:54,260 Try the ranger. 802 00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:58,469 He's in charge of issuing motel licenses. 803 00:55:58,564 --> 00:56:04,855 So he's got a good excuse for getting you in without arousing, arousing suspicion. 804 00:56:10,909 --> 00:56:11,944 Jo, got to go. 805 00:56:21,712 --> 00:56:23,828 Jo, don't you think it's a little late? 806 00:56:23,922 --> 00:56:26,288 Absolutely not. The ranger lives his job. 807 00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:29,841 It's the one official you can call out at any hour. 808 00:56:33,181 --> 00:56:36,344 Who the hell is that breaking my chops at this hour of the night! 809 00:56:36,435 --> 00:56:40,724 I hope his tires blow out at 200 miles an hour on a curve! 810 00:56:40,814 --> 00:56:42,805 I hope he turns coo-coo! 811 00:56:45,903 --> 00:56:47,985 Honey, you're not going to believe this! 812 00:56:48,071 --> 00:56:50,153 It's a mailman and a nun! 813 00:56:51,199 --> 00:56:52,780 Ma'am, I've got to talk to the ranger. 814 00:56:53,952 --> 00:56:56,864 Oh, Jo, I recognized you right away. 815 00:56:57,289 --> 00:56:58,995 Come on in. Come on. 816 00:56:59,082 --> 00:57:02,245 You know, you get handsomer every day. 817 00:57:04,421 --> 00:57:05,877 You can come in, too, sister. 818 00:57:05,964 --> 00:57:10,207 You mustn't stay out here all night in the cold. Okay? 819 00:57:10,302 --> 00:57:15,092 The ranger lived in a modest house with his wife, an ex-super model. 820 00:57:16,767 --> 00:57:17,767 Very ex. 821 00:57:22,481 --> 00:57:24,346 Greetings, everyone. 822 00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:26,727 Welcome to my humble abode. 823 00:57:29,112 --> 00:57:32,320 I must apologize for being a trifle underdressed... 824 00:57:32,407 --> 00:57:34,739 But I was sleeping when you drove up. 825 00:57:34,826 --> 00:57:36,987 What's going down? 826 00:57:37,079 --> 00:57:39,320 Ranger, I don't know where to start. 827 00:57:39,414 --> 00:57:42,998 It all began with... 828 00:57:47,089 --> 00:57:49,045 Thank you, smelly thing. 829 00:57:49,132 --> 00:57:51,839 Anyway, I'm engaged to miss Lily's sister. 830 00:57:51,927 --> 00:57:53,667 It happens that... 831 00:58:00,769 --> 00:58:04,432 Jo decides to explain everything to the ranger... 832 00:58:04,523 --> 00:58:08,186 Using the FBI's new secret technique, interpretive dance. 833 00:58:14,074 --> 00:58:15,074 Get the picture? 834 00:58:15,117 --> 00:58:20,077 Jo, if I understand you correctly, you're saying that... 835 00:58:31,299 --> 00:58:32,209 Was that about it? 836 00:58:32,300 --> 00:58:34,131 Yeah, except for one or two steps. 837 00:58:34,219 --> 00:58:36,380 Jo, something here doesn't quite jive. 838 00:58:36,471 --> 00:58:39,963 You said you saw a lady at that house who was supposed to be Antonio's mother. 839 00:58:40,058 --> 00:58:42,800 Jo, Antonio's mother's been dead for 10 years. 840 00:58:42,894 --> 00:58:44,259 But it doesn't make any sense. 841 00:58:44,354 --> 00:58:46,310 Detective balsam saw her. 842 00:58:46,398 --> 00:58:49,140 He even went back to the hotel to question her. 843 00:58:49,234 --> 00:58:50,519 Antonio's mother's dead! 844 00:58:50,610 --> 00:58:52,942 Question is, who is that other woman! 845 00:59:00,495 --> 00:59:01,655 Tell me what happened quick. 846 00:59:01,747 --> 00:59:03,587 Well, you know how the boss is, he picked up... 847 00:59:03,623 --> 00:59:04,623 Not that quick. 848 00:59:04,708 --> 00:59:06,699 Well he picked up this little virgin on a ranch... 849 00:59:06,793 --> 00:59:08,433 And things must've gotten carried away. 850 00:59:08,503 --> 00:59:10,063 You don't do certain things at his age. 851 00:59:10,088 --> 00:59:13,334 Dr. butcher to surgery. 852 00:59:13,425 --> 00:59:14,835 Dr. leaky to urology. 853 00:59:14,926 --> 00:59:16,257 What the hell happened? 854 00:59:16,344 --> 00:59:18,756 How could a night out do this to you? 855 00:59:18,847 --> 00:59:22,089 Boy, you don't know what sex is. 856 00:59:22,184 --> 00:59:24,425 She had my wheels spinning. 857 00:59:24,519 --> 00:59:26,805 Spinning, I heard symphonies. 858 00:59:28,690 --> 00:59:33,684 My only trouble and my only mistake, I asked her to get on top. 859 00:59:33,779 --> 00:59:36,236 Listen, I was out at the rangers and he said that there was... 860 00:59:36,364 --> 00:59:38,821 I know! He called me, asked me something really weird. 861 00:59:38,909 --> 00:59:41,776 If I knew your friend Lily's blood type. 862 00:59:41,870 --> 00:59:45,283 He promised you'd go over the motel, take a look today. 863 00:59:45,373 --> 00:59:47,705 All right, I'll go meet him. 864 00:59:47,793 --> 00:59:49,624 Visiting hours are over. 865 00:59:49,711 --> 00:59:51,451 Mr. putrid must rest. 866 00:59:53,882 --> 00:59:55,338 Stay out of trouble, boss. 867 00:59:55,425 --> 00:59:57,632 Jo, the ranger's at the bowling alley, just remembered. 868 00:59:57,719 --> 01:00:00,882 And remember, lay off the women, huh. 869 01:00:09,689 --> 01:00:10,689 Not bad. 870 01:00:12,526 --> 01:00:13,766 Howdy, ranger. 871 01:00:15,862 --> 01:00:19,320 Howdy, Jo, what brings you down to these here parts? 872 01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:22,194 Well, we want to know how the visit to the cemetery motel went. 873 01:00:22,285 --> 01:00:26,278 Now, Jo, I know you're not the type of guy to hallucinate. 874 01:00:26,373 --> 01:00:32,710 There was no lady at the cemetery motel, much less Antonio's mother. 875 01:00:34,172 --> 01:00:36,254 Just Antonio himself! 876 01:00:36,341 --> 01:00:39,424 He also confirmed, miss Lily, that your sister... 877 01:00:39,511 --> 01:00:42,423 Registered at the motel under a fake name. 878 01:00:44,015 --> 01:00:50,306 When detective balsam found out where she was headed, he took off after her. 879 01:00:50,397 --> 01:00:52,888 If the bitch tries to screw me out of my cash... 880 01:00:59,614 --> 01:01:02,230 But ranger, there's still something out of whack out here. 881 01:01:02,325 --> 01:01:03,815 Yeah, I noticed that. 882 01:01:03,910 --> 01:01:05,650 - What? - The heating. 883 01:01:05,745 --> 01:01:07,952 The motel is as cold as a witch's tit. 884 01:01:08,039 --> 01:01:09,199 Felt like a morgue. 885 01:01:09,291 --> 01:01:12,499 Talking about morgues, why don't you have lunch with us. 886 01:01:12,586 --> 01:01:16,454 I've fixed some nice cold frozen chicken. 887 01:01:16,548 --> 01:01:18,664 Now that's a great idea. 888 01:01:20,468 --> 01:01:22,675 Why don't you come on home with us? 889 01:01:22,762 --> 01:01:26,425 Spend a nice evening with the family. 890 01:01:26,516 --> 01:01:29,804 That way you can sign a formal complaint and... 891 01:01:29,895 --> 01:01:32,807 I can make out a search warrant for you. 892 01:01:32,898 --> 01:01:37,517 And you can officially search the motel and erase all your doubts. 893 01:01:38,862 --> 01:01:40,853 We'll be waiting for ya. 894 01:01:48,205 --> 01:01:49,866 I forgot to tell ya. 895 01:01:51,333 --> 01:01:57,579 Antonio's mother asked me to tell you to stop howling under her window at night. 896 01:01:59,633 --> 01:02:00,633 Goodbye. 897 01:02:08,558 --> 01:02:10,494 We can't afford to make any mistakes at the motel. 898 01:02:10,518 --> 01:02:14,978 The least suspicious way I think is to be a man and wife asking for a room. 899 01:02:15,065 --> 01:02:15,975 I don't know. 900 01:02:16,066 --> 01:02:19,650 We ask for a room to be together, like we just wanted to stop off in this motel... 901 01:02:19,736 --> 01:02:23,228 10 spend some time with each other, in a room, alone, to make love. 902 01:02:23,323 --> 01:02:24,813 That's terrific. 903 01:02:33,541 --> 01:02:36,908 I'd rather make it with anybody than you! 904 01:02:38,380 --> 01:02:40,712 Hello, could you direct me to your ice machine please? 905 01:02:40,799 --> 01:02:42,084 In the back, pal. 906 01:02:42,175 --> 01:02:43,210 Thank you. 907 01:02:43,301 --> 01:02:44,461 Five dollars. 908 01:02:44,552 --> 01:02:45,552 Thanks. 909 01:02:46,596 --> 01:02:50,134 Yeah, the ice machine is in my butt where I usually keep it. 910 01:02:54,145 --> 01:02:58,388 Lily knew that $5 worth of gas would not get them very far. 911 01:03:03,029 --> 01:03:06,066 So she tried arousing his generosity. 912 01:03:53,371 --> 01:03:57,159 - What is this? - I'm sorry, I had to fill her up. 913 01:04:03,006 --> 01:04:05,668 The tension was so thick and the music so pretentious... 914 01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:09,092 They knew they must be getting close. 915 01:04:20,523 --> 01:04:22,354 There's nobody here. 916 01:04:22,442 --> 01:04:24,228 Where the hell is this Antonio? 917 01:04:24,319 --> 01:04:27,732 Jo, I just saw somebody peeking out the window up there. 918 01:04:28,907 --> 01:04:29,907 Hi. 919 01:04:30,867 --> 01:04:33,700 Welcome to the cemetery motel. 920 01:04:33,787 --> 01:04:36,244 I suppose you want a cabin? 921 01:04:36,331 --> 01:04:37,331 Yes. 922 01:04:38,875 --> 01:04:40,615 I don't like it. I don't like it. 923 01:04:40,710 --> 01:04:41,710 I know he looks evil. 924 01:04:41,795 --> 01:04:42,910 No, not him, the motel. 925 01:04:43,004 --> 01:04:44,790 I much prefer the Hilton! 926 01:04:44,881 --> 01:04:47,463 Please, step into the office. 927 01:04:48,718 --> 01:04:49,718 Sorry. 928 01:04:51,471 --> 01:04:53,302 Where do I bury these two? 929 01:04:53,390 --> 01:04:55,221 There is no more room. 930 01:04:57,352 --> 01:04:59,263 There you go, cabin 13. 931 01:05:05,193 --> 01:05:06,558 Here we are. 932 01:05:06,653 --> 01:05:09,235 Make yourself at tomb, at home. 933 01:05:11,574 --> 01:05:13,110 I feel Jane was here. 934 01:05:13,201 --> 01:05:16,034 I have a very strange premonition. 935 01:05:22,335 --> 01:05:24,200 - I found the letter. - Where was it? 936 01:05:24,295 --> 01:05:26,627 Right here, under the bed. 937 01:05:33,346 --> 01:05:35,712 "Dear Lily, I was here. 938 01:05:35,807 --> 01:05:37,297 Antonio's mother killed me. 939 01:05:37,392 --> 01:05:39,428 Don't forget to pay the gas bill. 940 01:05:39,519 --> 01:05:41,475 And kisses, Jane." 941 01:05:41,563 --> 01:05:42,973 No! 942 01:05:43,064 --> 01:05:44,064 Why? 943 01:05:45,442 --> 01:05:47,522 Come on, Lily. Lily, come on, pull yourself together. 944 01:05:47,569 --> 01:05:50,561 Come on, everyone forgets to pay the gas bill. 945 01:05:50,655 --> 01:05:53,271 Maybe that lady didn't kill her all right. Maybe it was a mistake. 946 01:05:53,366 --> 01:05:54,276 If only it were. 947 01:05:54,367 --> 01:05:56,198 That's right, maybe Antonio killed her. 948 01:05:56,286 --> 01:05:57,321 No. 949 01:05:57,412 --> 01:05:59,092 Or she could have got run over by a truck. 950 01:05:59,164 --> 01:06:00,074 No! 951 01:06:00,165 --> 01:06:02,765 And she could've got eaten by a cannibal on a California vacation. 952 01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:04,328 I don't know, any one of these really. 953 01:06:04,419 --> 01:06:07,286 Or there's always that possibility being torn to shreds by a harvester. 954 01:06:07,380 --> 01:06:09,733 Then again, she could've fallen into a vat of sulfuric acid. 955 01:06:09,757 --> 01:06:11,677 Really, it could've been any one of these things. 956 01:06:11,759 --> 01:06:13,559 She could've been ravaged by a pack of wolves. 957 01:06:13,636 --> 01:06:15,592 She could've been struck by lightning. Ow! 958 01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:17,720 Or she could've been snorkeling in shark infested... 959 01:06:17,765 --> 01:06:18,675 Ow! 960 01:06:18,766 --> 01:06:20,726 Personally, I don't think anyone's ever died here. 961 01:07:06,898 --> 01:07:08,888 My arm! 962 01:07:17,408 --> 01:07:20,525 I can't take this anymore! I've got to find out once and for all. 963 01:07:20,620 --> 01:07:22,906 I have to know the truth about my sister. 964 01:07:24,707 --> 01:07:28,450 Jo, you go and distract Antonio while I go see the lady and question her. 965 01:07:28,545 --> 01:07:29,745 Come on now, that's too risky. 966 01:07:29,796 --> 01:07:32,796 What that letter said was true, and you want to be alone with that old lady? 967 01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:35,794 Forget it. We FBI agents, we specialize in taking dangerous action. 968 01:07:35,885 --> 01:07:39,218 No, I think it's better if I go distract Antonio and you talk to the old lady. 969 01:08:07,375 --> 01:08:10,583 Sorry, I'm a little sick. 970 01:08:10,670 --> 01:08:13,036 You know, my grandfather died from a sneeze. 971 01:08:13,131 --> 01:08:14,792 What, he fell ill and died? 972 01:08:14,882 --> 01:08:17,294 No, he just fell from a skyscraper scaffold. 973 01:08:17,385 --> 01:08:18,500 Lost balance. 974 01:08:18,595 --> 01:08:19,880 Why have you come here? 975 01:08:19,971 --> 01:08:21,507 My wife wants to take a nap. 976 01:08:21,598 --> 01:08:24,886 I'm not sleepy and I felt like chatting. 977 01:08:26,311 --> 01:08:28,597 You know, just to kill time. 978 01:08:28,688 --> 01:08:30,224 Just to kill time. 979 01:08:30,315 --> 01:08:31,851 Please, come on in. 980 01:08:33,776 --> 01:08:36,859 If there is anything to kill, I'm always available. 981 01:08:36,946 --> 01:08:39,107 Know what, guess I'm doing all the talking. 982 01:08:39,198 --> 01:08:44,033 I suppose living like this could make a person jump at the chance to talk. 983 01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:46,076 You're right, you're right. 984 01:08:46,164 --> 01:08:48,530 I love to talk to everyone at the motel. 985 01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:51,992 Is it my fault that when I'm through I realize there is no one there? 986 01:08:52,086 --> 01:08:53,371 Shit. 987 01:08:53,463 --> 01:08:55,423 Antonio, living like this could drive a man crazy. 988 01:08:55,465 --> 01:08:57,421 What are you trying to say, eh? 989 01:08:57,508 --> 01:09:01,376 Are you insinuating that, that I might be crazy? 990 01:09:01,471 --> 01:09:03,712 Go on! Go on if you think I'm crazy! 991 01:09:03,806 --> 01:09:04,966 Say it, go ahead! 992 01:09:05,058 --> 01:09:08,846 I'm just saying that if someone like you had a chance to lay his hands on... 993 01:09:08,936 --> 01:09:12,849 400 grand from some defenseless girl, he most certainly would go off his nut! 994 01:09:13,232 --> 01:09:14,563 I mean he'd do anything! 995 01:09:14,651 --> 01:09:17,984 Antonio, for 400 grand, a man would kill! 996 01:09:18,071 --> 01:09:19,311 I'll murder ya! 997 01:09:20,198 --> 01:09:22,610 You ugly, evil, praying mantis! 998 01:09:24,494 --> 01:09:26,325 I'll never tell you! 999 01:09:27,330 --> 01:09:30,322 This morning now... Is mine, big Jim! 1000 01:09:33,294 --> 01:09:35,751 You're not going to talk, huh, my fine feathered friend! 1001 01:09:35,838 --> 01:09:37,920 Well I bet your old mom will! 1002 01:09:40,426 --> 01:09:42,007 Mommy? 1003 01:09:42,095 --> 01:09:43,926 Poor asshole! 1004 01:09:46,099 --> 01:09:48,181 Where did the girl go? Where did the... 1005 01:10:32,603 --> 01:10:34,093 Termites. 1006 01:10:54,375 --> 01:10:55,455 Mrs. motel? 1007 01:10:57,837 --> 01:10:58,837 Mrs. motel. 1008 01:11:06,262 --> 01:11:07,262 Oh, Antonio! 1009 01:11:15,605 --> 01:11:18,434 Let me go! 1010 01:11:18,524 --> 01:11:19,604 Okay, I stay. 1011 01:11:20,443 --> 01:11:23,606 If this poor man is Antonio, who is he? 1012 01:11:23,696 --> 01:11:27,359 It's a little trick used by Dr. animal's patients. 1013 01:11:29,952 --> 01:11:30,952 It's Antonio's mother! 1014 01:11:31,037 --> 01:11:33,369 All right, I'm Antonio's mother! 1015 01:11:33,456 --> 01:11:34,616 Mama Mia! 1016 01:11:34,707 --> 01:11:39,792 But I am better known for fiscal reasons as the psycho killer! 1017 01:11:41,130 --> 01:11:46,375 But my exotic achievements have far outshone my mentor Dr. animal. 1018 01:11:47,428 --> 01:11:49,043 He was a degenerated pervert. 1019 01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:51,880 And then Antonio, he really pissed me off! 1020 01:11:51,974 --> 01:11:53,734 Where's our money or it's off to the hay lot! 1021 01:11:53,768 --> 01:11:57,431 It's buried in the swamp with Jane's body. 1022 01:11:58,940 --> 01:12:00,521 It's not true! 1023 01:12:00,608 --> 01:12:02,519 Jane is still alive! 1024 01:12:13,663 --> 01:12:14,778 Jane! 1025 01:12:14,872 --> 01:12:17,158 Thought you'd killed me, didn't ya? 1026 01:12:17,250 --> 01:12:18,285 You old bag! 1027 01:12:18,376 --> 01:12:21,334 First stabbing me and then sinking me in my car! 1028 01:12:21,420 --> 01:12:23,957 Well, good thing it was a lemon. 1029 01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:26,209 Lemons float. 1030 01:12:27,718 --> 01:12:29,208 Lily, I'm alive! 1031 01:12:30,513 --> 01:12:32,174 Hold on, Jane! 1032 01:12:32,265 --> 01:12:33,345 I'm not Lily. 1033 01:12:34,392 --> 01:12:35,677 I am... 1034 01:12:45,444 --> 01:12:47,184 Detective balsam. 1035 01:12:47,280 --> 01:12:51,319 If you're alive, who did I stab, stab, stab to death? 1036 01:12:51,409 --> 01:12:52,524 Robocrap. 1037 01:12:52,618 --> 01:12:55,485 The Japanese version of robocop. 1038 01:12:55,580 --> 01:12:58,287 Darling, I've still got the 400 grand. 1039 01:12:58,374 --> 01:12:59,705 Come on, let's split. 1040 01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:01,578 Just one second, Jane. 1041 01:13:01,669 --> 01:13:03,159 I'm not Jo, I'm... 1042 01:13:21,105 --> 01:13:22,140 I'm Mr. Laurel! 1043 01:13:23,524 --> 01:13:24,889 Return what you stole. 1044 01:13:24,984 --> 01:13:26,815 Hold it! Let her go! 1045 01:13:28,362 --> 01:13:29,852 The ranger! 1046 01:13:31,949 --> 01:13:34,361 He's not really the ranger. 1047 01:13:54,931 --> 01:13:58,014 I'm olaf, and those mega-bucks are mine. 1048 01:13:58,100 --> 01:13:59,380 Oh no they're not, they're mine. 1049 01:13:59,435 --> 01:14:01,847 You bought that estate for $400,000. 1050 01:14:01,938 --> 01:14:02,938 Estate? 1051 01:14:03,648 --> 01:14:05,980 This is what you call an estate? 1052 01:14:06,067 --> 01:14:07,352 This is the Addams house. 1053 01:14:07,443 --> 01:14:08,353 What? 1054 01:14:08,444 --> 01:14:09,934 You sold my house? 1055 01:14:11,238 --> 01:14:13,354 You rotten swindler! 1056 01:14:13,449 --> 01:14:19,661 How could you sell a house for $400,000 without even asking the owner? 1057 01:14:19,747 --> 01:14:22,864 Okay, then I guess I'll just take my money back. 1058 01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:24,369 Well, no, no, no, that's mine. 1059 01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:26,792 - You let go! - The hell you say, you fraud! 1060 01:14:26,837 --> 01:14:28,543 That's mine, I'll call the cop! 1061 01:14:28,631 --> 01:14:31,589 No need, I'm already here. 1062 01:14:31,676 --> 01:14:32,882 Listen here, officer. 1063 01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:36,257 Yes, I'm the officer, but not the officer you think. 1064 01:14:36,347 --> 01:14:37,347 I'm 1065 01:14:39,642 --> 01:14:40,642 the ranger. 1066 01:14:40,726 --> 01:14:42,307 The ranger? 1067 01:14:44,814 --> 01:14:46,179 My brother? 1068 01:14:46,273 --> 01:14:47,934 I'm your beloved brother. 1069 01:14:48,025 --> 01:14:50,061 Beloved my ass. 1070 01:14:50,152 --> 01:14:54,145 You were the one who first took Antonio out to play in the hay. 1071 01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:57,001 If it hadn't been for me, he never would have gotten out of the house. 1072 01:14:57,076 --> 01:15:01,490 Just because out of love for his dead daddy, he poisoned your lover. 1073 01:15:01,580 --> 01:15:02,990 "Dallas" was never like this. 1074 01:15:03,082 --> 01:15:06,199 I don't want to be involved in no family squabbles. 1075 01:15:06,293 --> 01:15:08,659 I'm leaving, with my money. 1076 01:15:09,547 --> 01:15:11,503 Hold on, g. 1077 01:15:11,590 --> 01:15:12,590 Antonio? 1078 01:15:13,968 --> 01:15:17,085 No, not Antonio. I'm Jo. 1079 01:15:17,179 --> 01:15:20,091 Hi, the money is yours, but it's partly due to me... 1080 01:15:20,182 --> 01:15:22,889 That you got it back, so you owe me a 40% finder's fee. 1081 01:15:22,977 --> 01:15:24,217 Fair is fair. 1082 01:15:25,938 --> 01:15:27,769 Jo, now we have the money. 1083 01:15:27,857 --> 01:15:30,815 We can finally get back together again. 1084 01:15:30,901 --> 01:15:32,437 Oh, I can't wait. 1085 01:15:32,528 --> 01:15:37,022 You luscious piece of backstabbing, two-timing, I'll fuck anything that walks... 1086 01:15:37,116 --> 01:15:39,357 Vertebrate or invertebrate creme brulee souffle. 1087 01:15:39,452 --> 01:15:41,659 But please no more fooling around on the side, huh? 1088 01:15:41,746 --> 01:15:45,113 No, it'll never happen again, I swear. 1089 01:15:45,207 --> 01:15:47,789 Cross my heart and hope to die. 1090 01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:57,375 He's not the mummy, come on! 1091 01:15:57,470 --> 01:16:00,007 Six to one, six to one! Place your bets! 1092 01:16:10,107 --> 01:16:11,313 Ciao, everybody! 1093 01:16:11,400 --> 01:16:13,982 I'm the real Antonio and I'm alive. 1094 01:16:14,070 --> 01:16:15,901 My son is alive? 1095 01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:17,944 Who the fuck did I kill? 1096 01:16:18,032 --> 01:16:22,275 Antonio's alive! 1097 01:16:28,667 --> 01:16:31,409 Yes, the band played. 1098 01:16:32,338 --> 01:16:34,374 The parade began. 1099 01:16:37,218 --> 01:16:39,334 The people cheered. 1100 01:16:39,428 --> 01:16:40,838 Why, you may ask? 1101 01:16:42,181 --> 01:16:46,094 Because they stopped taking off all those got damn masks. 1102 01:16:50,022 --> 01:16:53,389 Your honor, I've got the entire situation completely under my control. 1103 01:16:53,484 --> 01:16:54,769 I don't need reinforcements. 1104 01:16:54,860 --> 01:16:59,024 Like always, Mr. mayor, I did the whole thing single-handed. 1105 01:16:59,115 --> 01:17:02,903 Now, don't you forget that when my promotion time rolls around. 1106 01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:05,450 Oh, excuse me. What? Oh, we love you Pete putrid! 1107 01:17:05,538 --> 01:17:08,258 You're the best, you're wonderful, you're fabulous, you're marvelous! 1108 01:17:08,290 --> 01:17:11,623 We love you, you're a god! Oh thank you, thank you so much! You're too kind. 1109 01:17:11,710 --> 01:17:16,454 I got to take a shower because I smell like Kevin costner after "dances with wolves." 1110 01:17:18,092 --> 01:17:19,252 See you later. 1111 01:17:24,890 --> 01:17:27,472 And so this is my story. 1112 01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:31,144 Which brings us to the moment of my demise. 1113 01:17:37,945 --> 01:17:38,945 Alfred! 1114 01:17:39,780 --> 01:17:44,365 So it was the spirit of Alfred Hitchcock who killed me. 1115 01:17:44,451 --> 01:17:48,444 I guess he did not like me fucking up his movie. 1116 01:17:50,166 --> 01:17:52,122 Or was it Hitchcock? 1117 01:17:55,838 --> 01:17:58,580 I am Dr. animal cannibal pizza! 1118 01:18:01,051 --> 01:18:02,051 Iggy-boo! 1119 01:18:02,887 --> 01:18:03,887 Iggy-boo! 1120 01:18:06,182 --> 01:18:07,182 Iggy-boo! 1121 01:18:11,979 --> 01:18:13,185 Hi there! 1122 01:18:13,272 --> 01:18:14,272 Funny face. 1123 01:18:16,775 --> 01:18:18,515 Iggy-boo! 1124 01:21:12,910 --> 01:21:15,196 Subtitles: Christopher coco 2020 turbine medien gmbh 77560

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.