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1
00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:02,369
Hey, Dave.
2
00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:03,678
Oh, hey, buddy.
3
00:00:03,679 --> 00:00:05,197
Hey, this came while you guys were out,
4
00:00:05,198 --> 00:00:06,798
so I just signed for it.
5
00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:07,882
Ah, thanks.
6
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:10,301
No problem. It's just what neighbors do.
7
00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:11,512
Looks like you opened it.
8
00:00:12,420 --> 00:00:14,350
Again, it's what neighbors do.
9
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,510
Calvin, this could have been
something personal or private.
10
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,480
I know. I was pretty disappointed.
11
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,277
'Sup, dudes?
12
00:00:27,230 --> 00:00:29,682
Whoa, is that a rooster?
13
00:00:29,683 --> 00:00:31,822
Yeah, man, why are you
walking your dinner?
14
00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:35,022
This isn't dinner. This is Beaker.
15
00:00:35,023 --> 00:00:36,995
I'm Wyatt. I just moved
in the house behind you.
16
00:00:36,996 --> 00:00:40,139
Oh, nice to meet you.
I'm-I'm Dave. This is Calvin.
17
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,620
Welcome to the neighborhood.
18
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:44,332
And welcome to the neighborhood
to you, little buddy...
19
00:00:44,333 --> 00:00:46,380
Ow! No!
20
00:00:47,890 --> 00:00:49,060
I get it.
21
00:00:49,070 --> 00:00:51,259
Threatened by another alpha male.
22
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:54,387
Yeah, seriously, though, man,
what's up with the rooster?
23
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:57,342
Well, I'm what some might
call an urban homesteader.
24
00:00:57,343 --> 00:00:59,560
Oh, does that mean you
have a lot of wives?
25
00:01:00,820 --> 00:01:02,940
No. Calvin, an urban
homesteader is someone
26
00:01:02,950 --> 00:01:04,576
who lives in the city, but does things
27
00:01:04,577 --> 00:01:06,232
you'd normally do on a farm.
28
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,309
Actually,
29
00:01:08,310 --> 00:01:10,237
it's a little more sophisticated
than that.
30
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:14,559
See, I live a totally
sustainable lifestyle,
31
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,200
only eating from my organic
vegetable garden,
32
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,940
harnessing energy from
the sun and the wind.
33
00:01:19,950 --> 00:01:22,999
Basically, trying not to be
just another parasitic leech,
34
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,042
sucking the life out of Mother Earth.
35
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,242
Okay, yeah, I get it.
36
00:01:27,243 --> 00:01:29,256
- This dude smokes a lot of weed.
- No.
37
00:01:30,930 --> 00:01:32,619
Don't listen to him.
38
00:01:32,620 --> 00:01:34,627
I think it's great that you're
trying to save the planet.
39
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:35,898
Forget the planet.
40
00:01:35,899 --> 00:01:37,299
You want to save that bird,
41
00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:38,804
don't walk him down Third Street.
42
00:01:38,805 --> 00:01:40,239
It's a chicken joint on the corner,
43
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,422
and you walking a number
four combo plate.
44
00:01:43,423 --> 00:01:45,813
I know you think that's funny,
45
00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:49,150
but if you ask us,
it's finger-lickin' rude.
46
00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:55,030
Well...
47
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,559
- congratulations, Dave.
- Well, for what?
48
00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,620
You're finally cooler than a Black guy.
49
00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:05,190
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
50
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,079
Hey, babe.
51
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,172
Why you reading that fiction
52
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:14,620
when you got a fantasy right here?
53
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,889
Oh, yeah? Well, what is it about?
54
00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:21,419
Well, once upon a time,
55
00:02:21,420 --> 00:02:23,643
there was all this.
56
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,346
Ooh.
57
00:02:25,347 --> 00:02:27,546
You get in here,
my knight in shining armor,
58
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:29,399
and you storm my castle.
59
00:02:32,710 --> 00:02:35,279
Oh, no, not again.
60
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,639
Oh, b-babe, ignore it.
61
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:38,502
O-Or make it a part of the fantasy.
62
00:02:38,503 --> 00:02:40,603
I'm a knight that lives on a farm.
63
00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:46,419
You know what? That damn
bird has been crowing
64
00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:48,980
- for the last three nights.
- Come on, Tina.
65
00:02:48,990 --> 00:02:51,550
I'm not trying to get
rooster-blocked again.
66
00:02:52,813 --> 00:02:54,882
Uh, I-I'm sorry, Calvin.
67
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:58,585
I can't do this to animal
sounds going on.
68
00:02:58,586 --> 00:03:00,723
I'm freaky, but not that freaky.
69
00:03:08,210 --> 00:03:10,733
Come on, Beaker. Knock it off!
70
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,039
Hey. How are we supposed
to get any sleep
71
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,947
with all that crowing going on?
72
00:03:20,793 --> 00:03:24,620
Gemma. Gemma.
73
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,379
Gemma.
74
00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,729
- Huh? What?
- Oh, great.
75
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,820
Now the rooster woke you up, too.
76
00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:34,879
Dave, just ignore it.
77
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:40,840
How can you possibly sleep through that?
78
00:03:40,849 --> 00:03:42,812
I-I grew up in Hickory Corners.
79
00:03:42,813 --> 00:03:45,320
You learn real quick to sleep
through animal noises,
80
00:03:45,330 --> 00:03:48,940
tractor engines and the
occasional exploding meth lab.
81
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,340
Well, since we're both up,
82
00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:57,028
I do know one thing that'll
help me get back to sleep.
83
00:04:00,663 --> 00:04:04,453
Shut up, Beaker. Stop rubbing it in!
84
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,710
Oh, hey, everybody.
85
00:04:09,718 --> 00:04:11,289
Uh, Mom, I got some laundry for you.
86
00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:12,699
Okay, baby. Just leave it on the table.
87
00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:14,545
All right.
88
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,131
Why can't Marty do his own laundry?
89
00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:19,342
He is a grown man, not a child.
90
00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:21,511
Plus, Mama, he ate the piece of pie
91
00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:23,472
that I hid in the back of the fridge.
92
00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:27,050
I know he's not a child.
93
00:04:27,056 --> 00:04:29,435
- But look at these cheeks!
- Hey, aw, come on.
94
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,719
Hey, Malcolm, what can I say, man?
95
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,809
It ain't easy being squeezy.
96
00:04:36,270 --> 00:04:39,234
Well, I just don't know why you
let him take advantage of you.
97
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:40,599
He's not taking advantage of me.
98
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,942
His apartment doesn't
have a washer and dryer.
99
00:04:42,943 --> 00:04:45,719
And I don't want him having
to lug all his dirty laundry
100
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,620
to some sketchy Laundromat.
101
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,163
Yeah, she's right, Malcolm.
Look at these cheeks.
102
00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:51,333
It ain't safe out there, man.
103
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,380
Well, I'm-a put these in
the washer right now.
104
00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,049
You have no shame.
105
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,718
That's true. But you have no pie.
106
00:05:06,980 --> 00:05:08,392
Oh, hey, Calvin.
107
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,981
Calvin?
108
00:05:13,990 --> 00:05:16,019
Hey. Calvin.
109
00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:17,620
Pick a lane, jackass!
110
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,698
Let me guess: Wyatt's rooster's
been keeping you up, too?
111
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,909
Every night this week.
112
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,699
I'm so exhausted, this morning,
113
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:29,849
I put my phone in the toaster
114
00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:31,665
and tried to call my mom on a bagel.
115
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:35,959
You know what? That's it.
116
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,400
I can't take it anymore.
117
00:05:37,410 --> 00:05:39,255
I'm going over there to
wring his damn neck.
118
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:42,137
Okay, Calvin, you can't just
go over there and kill Beaker.
119
00:05:42,138 --> 00:05:44,928
Beaker? I was talking about Wyatt.
120
00:05:45,990 --> 00:05:48,309
Calvin, just hold on.
121
00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:50,319
I know we're both tired and grouchy...
122
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,186
which, I know for you,
is business as usual...
123
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,940
... but that doesn't mean
that violence is the answer.
124
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,650
Then what is?
125
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:02,519
We kill Wyatt with kindness.
126
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,447
- I like the first half of that.
- No, no.
127
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,959
Calvin, we're gonna go over there,
128
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,679
we're gonna bring him
some homemade cookies,
129
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:10,207
we're gonna say,
"Welcome to the neighborhood,"
130
00:06:10,208 --> 00:06:12,559
and then we're gonna
bring up the rooster,
131
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,870
at which point, I'm sure he's
gonna be very reasonable.
132
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:18,127
D-Dave, please. He'd be
a fool to fall for that.
133
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:20,449
Would he? I got you to
stop mowing your lawn
134
00:06:20,450 --> 00:06:21,589
so early in the morning.
135
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:22,819
Are you kidding me?
136
00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:25,682
I got to sleep in and I got cookies?
137
00:06:25,683 --> 00:06:27,095
Who played who, Dave?
138
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,699
Oh, hey, Mom. What are you doing here?
139
00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:37,079
Well, I finished doing your laundry
140
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,189
and thought I'd bring it over to you.
141
00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:40,697
Oh, Mama, you didn't have to
come all the way over here.
142
00:06:40,698 --> 00:06:43,528
I was gonna drop off
another load later tonight.
143
00:06:44,650 --> 00:06:46,989
Well, actually, I was also thinking
144
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,819
that maybe I could take a nap here.
145
00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:50,565
I just can't get any rest at home
146
00:06:50,566 --> 00:06:52,870
with that rooster crowing all the time.
147
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:55,509
Yeah, no problem. But I
was just on my way out.
148
00:06:55,510 --> 00:06:57,439
Some cast members from
Star Trek are doing a signing
149
00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,188
at my favorite comic book store.
150
00:06:59,189 --> 00:07:00,789
Captain's log: excited!
151
00:07:01,946 --> 00:07:03,924
Okay, baby, well, go have fun.
152
00:07:03,925 --> 00:07:06,592
And may the Force be with you.
153
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,379
Eh, ooh, um,
154
00:07:08,380 --> 00:07:09,879
actually, that's Star Wars.
155
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,360
See, Star Trek takes place
156
00:07:11,361 --> 00:07:12,515
in a completely different universe
157
00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:14,316
where there's a united federa...
158
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,762
Look at that.
159
00:07:17,763 --> 00:07:19,439
I'm half asleep already.
160
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,233
Point taken.
161
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:24,111
Uh, sleep well and prosper.
162
00:07:28,940 --> 00:07:31,610
Thank God.
163
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:35,080
All right, so where does
he keep his pillows?
164
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,479
Pillows... Ah.
165
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:39,560
Yeah.
166
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,799
Oh, hell no!
167
00:07:50,110 --> 00:07:52,097
I'm-a beam my foot up his ass.
168
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,642
Calvin, I'm telling you,
this is gonna work.
169
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,894
Wyatt is gonna love my ladyfingers.
170
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:02,107
Yeah, I bet he's gonna
love your cookies, too.
171
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,070
Oh, hey, guys.
172
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,782
Hey, there, Wyatt.
173
00:08:10,783 --> 00:08:12,519
What you doing there?
174
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:16,037
Yeah, did we, uh, catch
you in a private moment?
175
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,422
Oh, no, just churning some butter.
176
00:08:18,423 --> 00:08:19,915
You want to take a tug?
177
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,460
I most certainly do not.
178
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:26,380
Uh, yeah, Wyatt, we just
came by to officially say
179
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,757
welcome to the neighborhood.
180
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:29,829
Oh, thanks, but no thanks.
181
00:08:29,830 --> 00:08:32,249
I don't know about you, but
my conscience won't allow me
182
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,181
to support the sugar cartels.
183
00:08:34,182 --> 00:08:36,766
Oh, well, I-I've never heard
of the sugar cartels.
184
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,809
And yet, you're a soldier in their army.
185
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:43,579
L-Look, man, your rooster
has been crowing every night,
186
00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:45,732
and no one around here
is getting any sleep.
187
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,560
Yeah, I hear you.
Beaker's a bit of a night owl.
188
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:51,782
Which is funny because my
night owl is a real early bird.
189
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,280
Great, then you'll do
something about it?
190
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,729
Oh, no.
191
00:08:56,730 --> 00:08:58,060
Getting rid of Beaker would upset
192
00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,579
my delicate backyard ecosystem.
193
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,279
I don't want to play God.
194
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,001
That is his/her/their business.
195
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,426
You know what? That's it.
196
00:09:06,427 --> 00:09:09,173
Old MacDonald is about
to get E-I-E-I-O'd.
197
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,272
No, uh, Calvin, no.
198
00:09:11,273 --> 00:09:12,426
Hey, Wyatt,
199
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:13,999
we all really appreciate
200
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,379
what you're trying to do for the planet,
201
00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:18,059
but, uh, you know, a-around here,
202
00:09:18,060 --> 00:09:19,392
we look out for our neighbors.
203
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,260
Mm.
204
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:23,799
Oops, got to go. It's feeding time,
205
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,809
and Beaker hates to eat alone.
206
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,360
Oh, keep your feathers on.
207
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,571
I'm coming!
208
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,911
You were right.
We got to whack that bird.
209
00:09:42,910 --> 00:09:44,299
All right.
210
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:46,859
- You ready to do this?
- Oh, yeah.
211
00:09:46,860 --> 00:09:48,630
Let's choke this chicken.
212
00:09:49,660 --> 00:09:51,287
If we go to jail for this,
213
00:09:51,288 --> 00:09:53,426
you have got to stop talking like that.
214
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,340
- All right, let's go.
- Hold on.
215
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,429
Let me just get my pillow out.
216
00:09:58,430 --> 00:10:00,659
A pillow? W-Why a pillow?
217
00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:03,299
This is a bird-napping, not a sleepover.
218
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:04,922
It's a part of my plan.
219
00:10:04,923 --> 00:10:07,359
Look, if we just steal the rooster,
220
00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,800
Wyatt is gonna know that
it was us, which is why...
221
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,946
we're gonna make it look
like a coyote attack.
222
00:10:12,947 --> 00:10:15,740
Why would a coyote be carrying a pillow?
223
00:10:16,990 --> 00:10:18,719
No. When we get into the yard,
224
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,579
we're gonna rip open the
pillow and throw feathers
225
00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:21,621
all over the place.
226
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,319
Then...
227
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,139
we're gonna squirt this
fake blood everywhere.
228
00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:27,559
After that, the only
thing that's left to do
229
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,439
is to grab the rooster,
jam it in the pillowcase,
230
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,965
and then go home to
a good night's sleep.
231
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:33,425
Damn it, Dave.
232
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,039
That's the most brilliant plan
233
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,300
- I've ever heard.
- That's what I'm saying.
234
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,162
You knew there was a gate?
235
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:07,375
Yeah. I was gonna say something,
but then I thought, "Why?"
236
00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:11,239
- Okay, so where is he?
- He's right over there,
237
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,499
- on top of the chicken coop.
- Ah.
238
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,762
Standing guard over the ladies.
239
00:11:15,763 --> 00:11:18,419
Respect, respect.
240
00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:20,980
Okay, you go grab him.
241
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,720
I'm gonna frame a coyote.
242
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,102
Okay, Beaker...
243
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,104
... this is nothing personal.
244
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:32,060
I just hate you and I want you to die!
245
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:38,110
All right.
246
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,491
- Get him, Calvin, get him!
- I'm trying.
247
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:42,369
But this sucker's fast.
He must be free-range!
248
00:11:43,940 --> 00:11:45,761
Calvin, quit messing around. Get him.
249
00:11:45,762 --> 00:11:47,080
Look, I'm trying.
250
00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:49,079
Okay, I got him, I got him.
251
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,199
- Ooh.
- Calvin, nice work.
252
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,679
- That was amazing.
- I know.
253
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,170
When it comes to chasing chickens,
254
00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:55,959
it's all about the footwork.
255
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,801
Come on. Let's get out
of here before, uh...
256
00:11:58,880 --> 00:11:59,889
... that happens.
257
00:11:59,890 --> 00:12:01,160
Go, go, go!
258
00:12:04,030 --> 00:12:05,266
Oh, hey, Mama.
259
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,268
- I'm surprised you're still here.
- Mm.
260
00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:09,582
Well, I guess that's the
thing about surprises.
261
00:12:09,583 --> 00:12:12,482
You never know when you're
gonna open a door and find one.
262
00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:15,266
So, how was the comic book store?
263
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:16,879
- Oh, it was incredible.
- Mm?
264
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,539
I got my shirt signed by two Klingons,
265
00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:20,080
a Romulan and a Borg.
266
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:22,859
Well, that's wonderful, baby.
267
00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:24,368
- I'm glad you had fun.
- Yeah.
268
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:26,036
How about you? Did you have a good nap?
269
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,163
Well, I ended up not taking one.
270
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,369
Oh, why not?
271
00:12:29,370 --> 00:12:31,479
Well, you know, your place is so nice,
272
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,342
I just got caught up doing other things,
273
00:12:33,343 --> 00:12:36,819
like watching your big TV and
enjoying your beautiful view,
274
00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:39,660
and finding you have a
damn washer and dryer!
275
00:12:43,380 --> 00:12:46,975
What? There's a washer and dryer here?
276
00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:49,352
I can't believe you.
277
00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:50,893
Why would you lie to me?
278
00:12:50,894 --> 00:12:52,519
Uh, well, uh, technically, I didn't lie.
279
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,739
I just withheld the truth,
which, according to Dad,
280
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,525
there's a big difference.
281
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,619
All these years I've been
doing your laundry
282
00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:00,479
when you could've been
doing it your damn self?
283
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,279
Actually, actually,
that's not true, either.
284
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:03,839
See, 'cause I never learned
how to do my laundry,
285
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:04,948
because you always did it for me.
286
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,536
So, if you think about it,
this is kind of on you.
287
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,120
It's on me?
288
00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:16,212
No, no, no, it's-it's on me.
289
00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:18,552
It's on me.
290
00:13:18,553 --> 00:13:20,132
Well, in that case,
291
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,089
this is on you.
292
00:13:22,090 --> 00:13:24,150
Mama!
293
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,390
Oh! Mama.
294
00:13:26,393 --> 00:13:29,462
This is a collector's item.
Why would you do that?
295
00:13:29,463 --> 00:13:31,935
To give you a reason to learn
how to do your own laundry.
296
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,189
And you better do it quick
before that stains.
297
00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:36,620
Oh, mama's log:
298
00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:37,776
payback!
299
00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:47,359
Wow.
300
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,320
I've never really seen
a rooster up close.
301
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,700
Yeah, me, neither.
302
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:54,041
They're weirdly kind of beautiful.
303
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,890
Yeah, really is.
304
00:13:55,891 --> 00:13:57,879
Okay, now, go ahead and snap its neck.
305
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,500
What?
306
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,217
I can't do it. I'm not a killer.
307
00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:05,632
I can't, either. I caught him.
308
00:14:05,633 --> 00:14:07,972
He'd see it coming from me.
309
00:14:08,780 --> 00:14:10,889
Uh-uh. Not me. I can't do it.
310
00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:12,699
Look, I know this is gonna
be hard for you to believe,
311
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:15,688
but I'm not as hard-core as I look.
312
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,180
Okay. If you can't do it,
then I guess I'll do it.
313
00:14:19,181 --> 00:14:20,359
Stand back.
314
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,112
Let me show you how a
gangsta takes out a bird.
315
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:29,160
Ah, ooh, ah.
316
00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:34,949
Ah...
317
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,852
- Ah, I can't.
- Why not?
318
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,300
We made eye contact. I saw his soul.
319
00:14:58,730 --> 00:14:59,999
Saw whose soul?
320
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,519
Uh, uh, Calvin's.
321
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,739
By the way, beautiful
soul, Calvin. Really.
322
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:09,819
Oh, my God. Did you two
steal that guy's rooster?
323
00:15:09,820 --> 00:15:11,819
Okay, look, I know,
I know it seems crazy,
324
00:15:11,820 --> 00:15:14,037
but we tried talking to Wyatt, and
he wouldn't do anything about it.
325
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,902
Which is why we had to steal it.
326
00:15:15,903 --> 00:15:17,972
And now neither one of
us can bring ourselves
327
00:15:17,973 --> 00:15:20,587
to send him to the big
chicken coop in the sky.
328
00:15:21,540 --> 00:15:23,012
I can't believe you guys.
329
00:15:23,013 --> 00:15:25,883
You are two grown men,
330
00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:27,801
and you can't kill a rooster?
331
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,670
- Whoa! Whoa!
- Whoa!
332
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:32,599
Come on, it's no big deal.
333
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,392
Back on the farm, I used
to kill chickens all the time.
334
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,518
You did?
335
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,599
Trust me, once you've gone elbow-deep
336
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,259
to inseminate a cow,
337
00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:42,230
you can do pretty much anything.
338
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:44,560
Wow.
339
00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,820
Tina won't even stick her
fingers in a bowling ball.
340
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:48,572
Okay, okay, okay.
341
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,864
Stop, please. I-I know what we can do.
342
00:15:50,865 --> 00:15:53,199
We can drive him out to the country
343
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,579
and leave him at a, at a real farm.
344
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,081
You know what? That's a great idea.
345
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,219
Stay here. I'm gonna go get a box.
346
00:15:59,220 --> 00:16:01,900
You... keep an eye on her.
347
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:06,070
Come on, please, come
out, come out, come out!
348
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,842
How's it going out here?
349
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:11,553
Terrible. The stain's spreading.
350
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:14,586
Oh, well, I am so glad I
switched from red to white.
351
00:16:14,587 --> 00:16:17,268
It pairs so much better with revenge.
352
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:19,919
You know, how can you sit there
353
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,639
and just watch me suffer like this?
354
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:22,940
You mean like how you sat
355
00:16:22,950 --> 00:16:24,942
and watched me do your
laundry for years?
356
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,169
That's not true. I never watched.
357
00:16:26,170 --> 00:16:27,690
I just dropped it off and left.
358
00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:31,959
That's it. I give up.
359
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,042
The shirt's ruined.
360
00:16:33,043 --> 00:16:36,309
- I hope you're happy.
- No, I am not happy.
361
00:16:36,310 --> 00:16:39,519
My own son lied to me and
treated me like the help
362
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,543
just because he was too damn
lazy to do his own laundry.
363
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,294
Mom, I didn't lie to you
because I was lazy.
364
00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:45,879
Then why did you?
365
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,892
I don't want to say.
366
00:16:47,893 --> 00:16:49,549
It's embarrassing.
367
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:51,479
Marty, you went out in public
368
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,860
dressed as an imaginary space captain.
369
00:16:55,060 --> 00:16:57,740
The embarrassing ship has sailed.
370
00:16:59,890 --> 00:17:02,072
Fine.
371
00:17:02,073 --> 00:17:04,279
The truth is, the reason
I had you do my laundry
372
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,567
is so I had an excuse to come home.
373
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,749
What are you talking about?
374
00:17:08,750 --> 00:17:10,079
You don't need an excuse
375
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,899
- to come home.
- Yes, I do.
376
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:14,149
Mama, I'm a grown man living on my own.
377
00:17:14,150 --> 00:17:15,699
I'm not supposed to run home
378
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:17,599
every time I get lonely
and miss you guys.
379
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,860
How does that look?
380
00:17:18,861 --> 00:17:21,248
It looks like somebody
who loves his family.
381
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,835
No, more like somebody
who can't live without them.
382
00:17:25,180 --> 00:17:27,280
Marty, that's a good thing.
383
00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:30,539
Too many kids can't wait to grow up
384
00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:32,509
and get out of their homes.
385
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,372
And the fact that you love coming back
386
00:17:34,373 --> 00:17:37,572
means that we have something special.
387
00:17:37,573 --> 00:17:39,851
You should never be ashamed of that.
388
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,580
You're right, Mama.
389
00:17:44,583 --> 00:17:47,149
I'm sorry I lied to you.
390
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:50,611
It's okay. I forgive you.
391
00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,627
That's why I'm gonna do this.
392
00:17:52,628 --> 00:17:54,840
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
393
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,059
Mama! Why'd you do that?
394
00:17:58,060 --> 00:17:59,409
You said you forgave me.
395
00:17:59,410 --> 00:18:00,659
I do forgive you.
396
00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:03,582
White wine is the only thing
that gets red wine out.
397
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,917
Wait, so the shirt's gonna be okay?
398
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,503
- Sure is.
- Okay, awesome.
399
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,714
That means I won't look
ridiculous wearing it.
400
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,383
I never said that.
401
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,840
How's Beaker doing in there?
He seems pretty quiet.
402
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:20,922
He actually looks pretty comfortable.
403
00:18:20,923 --> 00:18:23,810
I think he knows that we're
taking him to a good home.
404
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,272
Hopefully, one without
someone like Gemma.
405
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:32,130
All I know is I'm looking forward
to a good night's sleep.
406
00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:34,571
Yeah, me, too.
407
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:37,074
You don't feel bad about what
we're doing to Wyatt, do you?
408
00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:39,169
Hell no.
409
00:18:39,170 --> 00:18:41,319
This guy gets what he deserves.
410
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:45,659
Moving in with his stupid farm,
trying to save the Earth.
411
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:47,029
I mean, if you ask me,
412
00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:49,350
- it's just plain selfish.
- Yeah.
413
00:18:49,351 --> 00:18:51,004
You know what? You're right.
414
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:53,340
He was driving everyone
in the neighborhood nuts.
415
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:55,967
You're damn straight.
W-We're the good guys here.
416
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,134
Good guys? We're practically heroes.
417
00:18:58,135 --> 00:19:00,859
Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying
that we deserve a holiday,
418
00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:03,351
- but I wouldn't be mad at a parade.
- Yeah...
419
00:19:04,420 --> 00:19:07,270
I mean, seriously, who
keeps a rooster, anyways?
420
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,106
Yeah. Get yourself a dog.
421
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:11,120
That's a real pet.
422
00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:13,361
Did you ever have a dog?
423
00:19:14,309 --> 00:19:17,197
Yeah. Yeah, his name was Duke.
424
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:19,324
Best friend I ever had.
425
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,527
Don't you mean second best friend?
426
00:19:20,528 --> 00:19:21,828
I said what I said.
427
00:19:24,270 --> 00:19:25,707
Well, what happened to him?
428
00:19:25,708 --> 00:19:28,260
He ran away.
429
00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:32,260
I left the gate open one day,
and when I came home,
430
00:19:32,261 --> 00:19:33,714
he was gone.
431
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:36,049
Oh, man. That's awful.
432
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,900
Yeah, broke my heart.
433
00:19:38,901 --> 00:19:41,550
Yeah, but this-this is different.
434
00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:44,260
Yeah, no, totally.
435
00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:47,442
I mean, just 'cause
Wyatt took him for walks
436
00:19:47,443 --> 00:19:50,642
and cared for him and...
437
00:19:50,643 --> 00:19:52,550
gave him a name.
438
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,028
- We're monsters!
- What have we done?!
439
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,252
I feel terrible.
440
00:19:58,253 --> 00:20:00,157
Yeah, me, too, man. You know what?
441
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,199
W-We got to get Beaker home.
442
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,268
Yeah, turn the truck around.
443
00:20:02,270 --> 00:20:04,120
- Hold onto the box.
- Okay.
444
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,749
I miss you, Duke!
445
00:20:12,020 --> 00:20:13,209
This is great.
446
00:20:13,210 --> 00:20:15,085
I've always wanted to
make my own butter.
447
00:20:15,086 --> 00:20:16,160
You know what they say.
448
00:20:16,170 --> 00:20:19,010
Once you go churn, you never return.
449
00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:24,681
Oh, hey, Calvin. Check this out.
450
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:27,935
Dave, please don't say my
name when you're doing that.
451
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,349
Hey, you know, I'm really worried
452
00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:32,156
about my technique.
Am I doing this right?
453
00:20:32,157 --> 00:20:33,980
Close. But do it like this.
454
00:20:36,780 --> 00:20:37,944
Oh.
455
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,569
That's it. Tina!
456
00:20:40,570 --> 00:20:41,999
Throw out the butter!
457
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,201
From now on, I'm eating my toast dry!
458
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:46,750
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
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