All language subtitles for The Sex Files A Dark XXX Parody

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Original subtitles

Was it everything you hoped for?

It was more than I could've imagined!

But...I'm not like these younger guys today.

I just hope it was...just as good for you as it was for me.

Yeah, it was good for me. But I'm not done with you yet.

What does that mean?

Something kinky!

Ahoy!

Slow morning?

Mind numbingly.

Skinner wants to see us in his office.

He say what about?

No, but he said it was urgent.

Mulder, what's wrong?

Nothing.

Coming? OK.

[beep] Agent Scully and Mulder are here to see you sir.

Send them in, Arlene.

Take a seat agents.

The Los Angeles field office contacted us today. There's been a rash of...

...serial killings.

...all male....ages vary between 20 and 58.

You're booked on the next flight out.

I'm sorry sir, but...why does this warrant our involvement?

Is there something wrong Agent Mulder?

No sir. I just don't understand why we're being called in on what appears to be an average string of homicides.

Satanic?

No, not entirely.

We'll call you when we know more.

What's wrong with him?

I don't know, sir. He's been acting this way for a few days.

Well. Keep an eye on him.

Be careful.

....Scully.

Can you send in Arlene?

You wanted to see me?

I don't have any appointments for a couple of hours.

Well good.

On your face? Yes.

I'm Agent Dana Scully. This is Agent Mulder.

I was told to expect you two.

I was hoping you could help us out, because we've been having a hell of a time.

Looks like he's had a hell of a time too.

This is the sixth murder in two weeks!

Did they all have this picture carved into their torsos?

Yes mam.

I suppose we can tell it's a...

...some kind of .... satanic imagery.

Jesus Mulder, who would do this?

Not a Satanist.

And that's not the only picture we found.

Get the sheet.

We found this stuffed down his throat all the way to his intestines.

This just keeps on getting more and more interesting.

What is it?

Looks like somebody's been practicing sex magic.

Sex magic?

Let's get out of here, Scully. I think I'm getting a little turned on.

Is that guy for real?

He takes some getting used to.

Are you sure you don't wanna tell me what's been bothering you, Mulder?

Nothing's wrong with me.

That's not true. You've been acting distant for a few days now.

Let's just keep our minds on our job right now, okay?

OK. What do you think the pictograms are?

Oh...the picture on the sheet...

It's known as the unicursal hexagram.

It's called unicursal because it can be drawn in one continuous motion...

...instead of overlaying two triangles...

It's an ancient symbol found throughout the world in many cultures.

It's known as a polemic universal hexagram.

It was designed by Alastair Crowley.

The wickedest man in the world.

One and the same.

He placed a 5 petal rose in the center.

5+6=11. The number of divine union.

The other pictogram we saw carved into the victim's chest...the goat-headed being...

It's known as a bathomet...

It's another symbol of divine union.

Albeit of a more demonic nature.

How so?

Well the bathomet is an androgynous being.

It represents the sexual union of Lucifer and Lilith.

So you think this is the work of a Luciferian cult.

Possibly. One of Crowley's students...

I'll have the LA field office fax us over all the addresses of known cults in the area.

Sounds good.

We'll get started tomorrow morning.

Hey Scully!

Hey Scully!

Hey Scully. Wanna get a pizza?

Scully.

I wasn't peeping! I wasn't peeping!

What do you want? Pizza!

I...I came to see if you wanted pizza.

But I can see you've already....

I'm sorry. Good night Scully.

So who is this guy, Scully?

Andrew Barsons. Born, raised, still residing in Pasadena.

Barsons?

Yeah, why, does that mean anything to you?

Maybe.

Probable cause.

Yes. Are you Andrew Barsons?

Yes. Who are you?

Special Agent Fox Mulder.

This is Agent Dana Scully.

You wanna come in.

Of course.

Can I offer you guys a drink. No thank you.

Alright. You can wait in the living room. I'll be there in a minute.

Cozy.

Alright this is not the way you see yourself settling down in a few years?

If anything happens, goodbye.

[laughter]

Am I interrupting?

No. Please sit down.

So how may I be of service to you?

We're investigating a string of murders that have occurred over the last few weeks.

All the victims have pictograms of bathmats carved in their torsos.

We've also found polemic hexagrams nearby painted in the victim's blood.

So you assume it was me?

Not necessarily you, but maybe somebody you know.

You are the head of a polemic order.

Our records indicate that...your group congregates here at your home.

I'm afraid your records are out of date.

We've stopped meeting here about two years ago.

We now meet at an occult book store not far from here.

You're both more than welcome to come.

No thanks. We'd just like you to answer a few questions for us please.

Ask away.

Is there anyone in your group that you would consider dangerous?

No.

Dolloma is a peaceful way of life.

It may not look it to you.

...But it is.

Have you ever practiced...ritual sex magic?

Of course!

When was the last time this occurred? Last week.

What did the ritual entail?

I'd be more that happen to show you....OK, that's enough! That's enough!

...For now.

Thank you for your time.

Let me show you out.

Oh...

And I wouldn't plan on taking a vacation anytime soon, if I were you.

Might look bad.

I have no reason to run from you, Agent Mulder.

The rest of my day consists of going to the book store....and at night, visiting a club with my friends.

So what do you think?

He's hiding something.

I'll start surveillance.

So tell me about the pendant.

Okay...so...

...long story short.

In Jewish oral tradition...Eve was not the first wife of Adam.

His first wife was a woman by the name of Lilith.

Whom god created to be Adam's equal.

But she refused to have sex with him in the missionary position.

He got mad and she left the Garden of Eden.

Have some more noodles.

God then sent three angels...

...to bring her back. So anyway...

?

The found her but she refused to return to the Garden of Eden.

She preferred instead to become a demon...

...and cause sickness in infants and ruination in men...

She became a succubus.

Preying on men sexually.

Want some more rice?

However, she swore that if she ever saw the names of the three angels that were sent to retrieve her...

...written on either a pendulum or amulet...

Whoever wore it...she'd have no power over.

Andrew or a pendant with their names written in Hebrew...

So what do you think?

Not sure just yet.

Look!

Must be heading out to the club.

What do you want to do?

Let's go take a look and see.

Mulder.

We can't just break into the man's house!

...without a court order!

Nothing we find is admissible as evidence of a crime!

Come on Scully. Let's see how spooky he is.

It's a bedroom.

Must be where the magic happens. Pfft.

Come on Scully, let's go check the basement.

[door creaks]

This doesn't seem so silly anymore.

I know.

Look at that.

It's Lilith.

We're leaving.

Hold on, Scully. Hold on a second.

Mulder, we're leaving!

Alright, I'm sorry. Let's go.

We have to find a girl to come back with us tonight!

Yeah, that's why we're here.

Now, what can we say to get her to let us train her?

That's not very important. What's very important is that we find the right girl.

I mean...she's wild and crazy.

All the girls here look that way.

Yeah. That's true.

Maybe we'll get lucky and she'll find us.

?

You two look like you could use some company.

Mmmm! Ahh!

You read my mind.

Yeah. I did.

Do you wanna go somewhere?

What's wrong with right here?

Sounds like a great idea to me!

What'd you say your name was?

Luce.

Do you feel me?

Yeah baby! Yeah.

Give me all that cock

Ahh. That's so good.

Thats so good!

Yeah, do you like your pussy on his big cock?

Going in and out of there.

Yeah! Take that cock!

Oh, yes! Oh, yes!

Does that cock...does that cock feel good?

I'm gonna cum! I love that cum, give it to me!

[helicopter sounds]

Wow!

Wow!

Oh, same thing?

Same thing?

Yes sir.

Yes sir!

Except this time....the killer took a souvenir.

Both of them?

I guess there not gonna have any use for him now...huh?

Mulder, out with it. What's going on?

Scully, I think we're dealing with something more than we thought.

How so?

I think it's more than just....

....an occult murder or sacrifice to Lilith.

I think the murderer is Lilith herself.

A demon?

That's right.

The concubine of Satan? That's the one.

First wife of Adam?

Yes mam.

Look at the nature of all the killings.

All performed after a sexual escapade.

The bathomet carved into every victim's torso.

The representation of Lilith...the hexagram.

Another symbol of her unity with Lucifer.

We found all the same pictograms painted in Barson's basement plus the painting of Lilith.

Not to mention that Barson's wears a pendant around his neck to protect himself from her.

OK. So, it's obviously a demon.

I have also been doing some research on our little friend Barsons.

Seems his grandfather was a student of Alastair Crowley.

A man who himself claims to have conjured up demons.

You do realize how hard it is going to be to prosecute Satan's whore?

Scully, what do you suggest we do?

I'd like to perform an autopsy on these bodies.

Why don't you go back to Mr. Barson's and see what he has been up to.

OK, we'll do.

Call me if you find anything weird with the bodies.

What qualifies as weird?

Something spooky.

Rrrriiigghhttt.

Death appears to have been caused by loss of blood...

...and the genitals which have been removed.

...or the throat...

...which seems to be ripped out by the perpetrators mouth.

The stomach is ripped open....

...mostly likely related to the gaping hole in the victim's back.

Stomach contents include...

....fingernails...most likely female in origin.

...black fingernail polish...

...likely lost from the killer's hand thrust through the victim's abdomen.

The heart seems to have been removed.

And then....put back....

....and at 180 degrees.

FOX....

How may I help you Agent Mulder?

I was wondering if I could ask you a few more questions? Of course.

Thank you.

So what would you like to know?

Where were you last night?

Like I told you and your partner yesterday...

I was visiting a club with my friends.

Which club? The Cage.

Are you aware there was a double homicide committed there last night?

Of course.

What do you....What do you know about it?

EVERYTHING!

You are delightful Agent Mulder.

You untie me, you sick bastard!

No, not yet. I want you to experience something with me first.

No thanks!

There are many forms of sex magic.

But there's one in particular that's more powerful than them all.

Oh, yeah, what? The one where you say, "Abra abracadabra"?

No. The one where I bugger you.

You stay away from me you sick son of a bitch!

Calm down, Fox!

The more you squirm the more it's gonna hurt.

Hold it right there!

Sit down!

Scully, I don't think I've been so happy to see you in my life!

Mr. Barsons....

Explain this!

That's her fingernail.

Who's fingernail?

Lilith's!

The demon?

Yeah.

How did she get here?

I summoned her.

Why?

Seven years ago, I began to experience nightmares.

She would come to me in my dreams.

And we would have sex. And at the end...

...she would torture me and devour my flesh.

She told me this wouldn't stop until I brought her into the real world, which I did.

And how'd you do that?

In a group. A ritual.

Sex magic?

Of course.

Where is she now?

Lilith is a demon of the desert.

Death valley.

Oh.

A little help here Scully.

Where is she?

I don't know.

She spoke of the third factor.

You take him and search that side. I'll search this side.

I don't think we should split up.

Don't worry. We'll be alright.

Fire a shot if you see her.

Alright. Move it.

Hello Fox. I've been waiting for you.

Do you really think you could stop me?

No man can resist me.

Pleasure you can never resist.

You really love her don't you?

I can be her, if you prefer.

Tell me what you want.

I want ...you.... to leave.

Then give me Andrew!

That's why I allowed you to come here.

That's why I left you my heart.

Mulder! Give me what I want!

Scully, take the pendant off his neck now!

No, please!

Thank you, Fox.

[Screams and yelling.]

That's quite a story, Agent Mulder.

Ohhh! Quite.

Barson's body was never recovered.

No sir. But there was a pile of ashes in the room. We assumed it was Barson's.

It's been a week. And no more murders were reported.

We can only assume it's due to your work.

Good job, agents!

Thank you sir.

Did you ever find out who's going....?

No sir.

Do you have any idea?

No sir. I don't think I do.

Mulder, talk to me.

About what? You know what!

You were upset before we left. And then in Los Angeles you seemed a little bit better....

...and now that we're back, you're upset again. So tell me what's wrong.

Nothing's wrong, Scully.

Don't run away from me, Mulder.

I'm not running. I'm walking. Call me.

Have a good weekend.

[knock, knock, knock]

Hi.

Hi.

Mulder, is everything okay?

I just, em...

...Can I come in?

Yeah, of course.

Look, I came by because I want to say, I'm sorry for the way I've treated you.

I just...

It's okay, Mulder, you can talk to me.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately!

About the things that are important in my life.

When my sister was taken away so many years ago,...

...I felt like a piece of me was taken with her.

And since we discovered her fate...

...I feel like I've regained that piece.

Only I realize that...it's not because I know what happened to her.

It's because I can move forward in a way I couldn't before.

I don't...I don't understand.

Scully, the best part of my day...

...is when you walk into the office in the morning.

...is that I know that I get to spend the rest of the day with you.

I love you....

...and I have for a long time.

And at the risk of ruining our friendship....

...and our professional relationship, I had to tell you...

...cause I can't hold it inside me any longer.

I should go. I should go.

Mulder.

I love you too.

Ah, that's really big.

I love this cock!

Oh! That feels so good!

It feels so good!

What a pretty cock you have.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Oh! Surprise me.

More.

Oh, that's good. That's good!

The titty goes bounce.

Oh, my..! Oh, my,...! Oh, my...!

You wanna fuckin' watch?!

Yes! Right there! Right there!

You know how to turn me on so much!

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