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[chuckles softly]

Ooh, give me.

Whatever!
You know, you better be careful

I might just leave you
for your buddy Jughead.

-Original.
-[laughs]

Does that mean you're Betty?

You know, I'm Veronica.

Well, you see Jughead,
tell him I stole his cigarette.

[gasps]

You better be careful Archie.

I heard Jughead
doesn't like thieves.

[chuckles]

[fly buzzes]

Seriously,
you're not going to give me one?

Come on.

[man 1] Psychopomps are entities
whose role is not to charge
the deceased,

but to guide them to their final destination in the afterlife.

[suspenseful music playing]

[man 2] You know, Archie,
your grandma gave me
these binoculars

-and she said they were magical.
-[Archie] Really?

Yep, she said that sometimes
if you are you looking
through them

that you can see
the spirits of your loved ones.

-[Archie] Do you see grandma?
-[man 2] Nope,
all I can see is birds.

[tranquil music playing]

[distorted voice]
Who are you?

Where are we?

Very nice.

-Where are we?
-[clears throat]

[laughs]

[calm music playing]

[laughs]

[suspenseful music playing]

[man 3] Archie, I need you to
close your eyes for me.

We're going to do an exercise
to put you back into those
dreams you've been having.

Take a deep breath.

Relax your mind.

What do you see?

Tell me what you dreamed.

I'm standing
in a sketchy restroom.

I walk into the room.

I hear a electric buzzing sound
behind me.

[electricity buzzing]

I turn around.

-[sighs]
-Keep going.

I hear a woman scream.

[screams]

I want to help her...

but it's blocking the doorway.

It's blocking the doorway.

[shivers]

I see bugs
coming out of a TV screen.

[sobs]
They're coming for me.

-They're coming for me!
-[man 3] Archie.

Open your eyes.

Birdie.

[man 3] Who's Birdie?

You have amnesia,

but your subconscious is trying
to help you remember.

You should go back
to these places you're seeing
in your mind

and maybe they'll trigger
your memory.

[suspenseful music playing]

[trolley clattering]

I got a special
ticket just for you.

[laughs]

Hi, Archie.
I'm Dr. Dunn.

We have to talk.

That ticket you got there
that's for a free meal
and for a free trip.

[car engine revs]

Time to eat, Archie.

We made some food for you.

[clock ticking]

Archie, the reason I brought
you here is to enlighten you.

This meal is specially
formulated for you.

You've been walking around like
a zombie since your
unfortunate event.

I can help you.

We can help you.

All you have to do
is eat your food.

Then you'll know what's what.

Isn't that
what we all want to know?

Where we come from?
Where we go when
the curtains go down?

We're born into a question mark
and then we're just left here
with no answers to anything.

We flood our youth with vanity

and our old age is filled
with fear of the unknown.

That's how you feel, right?

You want to know what happened.

Well, now you can.

It's time to eat.

It's time
to take that final ride.

Eat your food, Archie Finch.

[Archie] I can't.

I'm sure I'll be hungry soon.

[clock continues ticking]

Okay...

another meal's
always around the corner.

Into the kitchen we go,
where we end up nobody knows.

[Archie groaning]

Do you know the muffin-man
The muffin-man?

Do you know the muffin-man
Who lives on Drury Lane?

[screams]

-[alarm beeping]
-[gasps]]

[knocking]

[Mary] Be right there.

Archie!

Come on in.

Come on in, Archie.
I'll be right there.

[suspenseful music playing]

[electricity buzzing]

[groaning]

[distorted voices]

[Mary] Archie,
you don't look so good.

So how's your memory?

Do you remember anything new?

It's like all the puzzle pieces
are out there...

but I... just can't find it.

It's like I'm blind...

and I just can't see them.

I'm here for you not just as
your assistant,
but as your friend.

You were once there for me
during a hard time and I want to
be there for you also.

Hey, it'll...
it'll come back to you.

Here they are.

All your contacts.

Now I can find Ed.

[sighs]

Got to say...

you're not the Archie
I remember very well.

I don't remember you at all

but I'm told
that you're key to my success.

One of the keys,
definitely the skeleton key.

[Kim laughs]
You got that right, Ed.
You're definitely a skeleton.

I keep telling him to eat some
steak and egg, all he wants is
coffee, coffee, coffee.

[Ed] If I don't have coffee and
chokes, I'm living in the land
of the dead here, Kim.

[chuckles] Ain't we all?

[sighs]

This is the guy
that's going to find your film.

[chuckles softly]

It's just a stand-in.

And this is his girlfriend.

She wants to be
the lead actress in your film

and if you let her
her boyfriend will fund
the whole movie.

[Archie] He'll fund
the whole film?

Yes, and I bet he'd throw a
really good wrap party like a
cowboy on his own dime.

Hmm.

Oh, my doctor says that
if I get back to doing things

that I have been doing before,

maybe I'll start to remember
something in my past.

Sounds like a yes to me.

Oh, yeah.

Hmm, attaboy, Arch.

Oh, one more
thing I forgot to mention.

His girlfriend is, um...

a little like out there.

-How so?
-She sees things.

Things?

Yeah, but she's on some crazy
shit that makes you go bye-bye.

[scoffs]
I could use some crazy shit.

I've been experiencing
some weird things lately myself.

Really? Like what?

I don't know.
Maybe this amnesia thing...

but... [sighs]

anyway.

-Let's make a movie.
-Attaboy, Arch.

To our lead actress.

A star is born.

-[woman 1] You thirsty?
-Not today.

And what have you
been busying yourself with?

Well, to be completely honest...

I've been losing chunks of time.

You can't expect for your brain
to be in tip-top shape after
what happened to you, Archie.

Yeah, I know.

I don't even remember
how I got here.

Maybe seeing some things from
your past will jog your memory.

Actually, there was one thing
I was hoping to take a look at.

Do you still have that
belt buckle dad left me?

Ah, so you do
remember something.

[suspenseful music playing]

[man 4] Look! Look deep.

Deeper.

Think about what's down there.

What's been there for ages.

No one knows.

Before the dinosaurs,
this was here.

So dark, so deep,
so many things hidden,

we'll never know,
we'll never ever know.

Just think about it.

Imagine what could be there.

Search your mind.
Every little crevice.

Search. Deeper.

Deeper.

Yes, you see it.

You begin to see. Yes, yes.

I can tell. [laughs]
Yes, you found it.

Ah, I can tell.
I can feel it myself.

Oh! Oh, yes.

Wonder of wonders, it's there.
It's there.

I see it in your eye,
windows to the soul.

You can't hide a thing.

[phone ringing]

[gasps]

[breathing heavily]

[dance music playing]

[man 5] I think I can get behind
that. I'll see you there.

Like clockwork, you always seem
to bring my drink
right when I need it,

fulfilling a woman's duty
to servitude.

That's not very nice.

[choking]

[thuds]

How can I help you?

[Archie] What just happened?

Call it performance art.

I see you don't have
any clocks in this place.

Do you happen to have the time?

[scoffs]

We don't have the time,
but we do have a phone.

Use that card.

Can I get you a drink, young
man?

[Archie] I'll take a martini.

Coming right up.

[tranquil music playing]

There we go. A warm belly
is nice, like a warm bed or
a warm lady for that matter.

How you doing, Son?

[Archie]
Do you happen to have the time?

[man 6] This man wants to
know if I have the time.

[laughing]

Piss on time.

Here at the Evil Olive...

we leave time at the door.

Look, I didn't
mean any disrespect.

It's just I've been waiting here
for someone over an hour.

I just feel like
I've been here much longer.

[telephone rings]

Yeah, she's here.

She stopped that.

Now let's see if I can get this
rogue soul to realize his
destiny.

[chuckles softly]

Why don't you spend your time
downstairs in our VIP room,
wait for your friend Ed there.

[tense music playing]

[distorted voice]

[suspenseful music playing]

-Archie.
-Yeah.

I'm Thana. Ed sent me.
He couldn't make it.

Thought you
might need the company.

Oh.

He insisted.

-Everything okay?
-Yeah, uh, he's fine.

-I'll get us some drinks.
-No need.

I ordered us a few drinks.

You get the next round.

[low beat music playing]

What's this drink called?

"A Short Trip to Hell."

[suspenseful music playing]

Someone is as serious
as the plague up in here.

It's just a rum and Coke.

I take it you're the type of guy
that fancies a simple drink,
like a rum and Coke.

I guess you'd be right.

What's your favorite drink
of choice?

Dirty whore's bath water.
Classic drink.

[laughs]

You want to see my head spin
around, order me
that second drink.

Yes, Ma'am.

[low beat music playing]

Get the lady an exorcist.

[groans]

[coughs]

[groans]

Oh, I felt that one.

One of my favorites.

[groaning]

You poisoned me.

[suspenseful music playing]

[laughter echoing]

[car rumbling]

I know. I know.
You'll be fine.

We just have to get you home.

I'm flying like
a thousand bats here, babe.

Don't get your panties
in a bunch.

[Archie] I feel sick.

[Thana]
I know it was a long night.

I have heard that
morning sickness is never fun.

Now let's get you to bed.

Please,
I need some stomach medicine.

Anything. Give me something.

I've got something, but it
will take you out of this world.

Do you accept that?

It'll take away all the pain.

Yes, the pain is killing me.

[low beat music playing]

Eat up.

It's the only way
to cure your agony.

[breathing heavily]

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

I need you to finish your food,
Archie.

Don't be ungrateful.
Finish your food.

It's for your health.

[Archie] Is that human blood?

Eat your fucking food.

[Archie] Ah!

[Archie groaning and coughing]

[retching]

[panting]

[tense music playing]

Oh, so you're the camera.
Let me take a look in there.

[electronic buzzing]

[woman 2] Archie!

[distorted voice]
You're coming with us.

-[Ed] Look, Arch,
we need to talk.
-Where have you been?

No, no, no, man.

Who's that psycho bitch, Thana?

Look, man, you know
this industry,
they're off their rockers.

I got caught up that night.
I got a little drunk, sorry.

[Archie]
She started poisoning me.

Started feeding me blood.

That's ten miles
from the rocker, Ed.

What the fuck!

Look, I don't know these people.

We don't know these people.

That's just how things are, man.

What you need to worry about,
Archie Finch,

is getting back into
the director's chair,
back in the zone.

Everything else,
man, will take care of itself.

Yeah.

I guess.

It all remains to be seen.

[door opens then closes]

[Archie] Hey! Any of you know
where to get a...

[Retrovision] There's a lighter
in your pocket.

Burn the airplane.
Hurry up.

You're being watched.

Once inside Hardy's house,

go up the first set of stairs,
knock on the door at the top.

[crows cawing]

[knocks]

[suspenseful music playing]

Hardy walks, you follow.

[somber music playing]

[cackling]

[ringing]

[Rita] Hello.

Hi.

Come look at my dollhouse.

He's been stuck
on the second floor
for quite some time.

It's been a thousand years, if
you measure it in human years.

That's a bit.

Upstairs or downstairs,
he can't seem
to make up his mind.

Careful, you might fall in.

[snickers]

Right, I wouldn't want that.

Why can't he go
up to the third floor?

Well, you can't
make anyone do anything.

Archie.

How'd you know my name?

[giggles]

There's this thing that he does
that I can't quite figure out,

but... but maybe you can help me
figure it out.

-What does he do?
-Come, come.

[knocking on door]

[laughs]

I got to go.

Yes, you do.

But, hmm...

is it upstairs or down?

[giggles]

What is he doing here?

-Done. Done, look, I'm done.
-[woman 3] You lost. You lost.

Come sit.

Sit with Hardy.

So, why does a man feel
the need to carry a little
killing machine on his person?

Oh! Well, yeah,
that's right, protection.

Well, allow me to provide you
with your new best friend.

Open the box.

[box creaks open.]

Ah, I think I see what ails you.

A woman can get a fella
into all sorts of trouble.

For instance, a woman
scorned or a damsel in distress.

You ever rescued
a damsel in distress?

Anyways,
I thought I should tell you,

some guy used his gun
to kill his own self.

He killed himself good,
real good, over a dame.

Even worse it was a gift
given to him by a dear friend,

but I got it now,
it works and it's for sale.

Consider that
your new King Kong,

just in case you're the, uh,
damsel in distress.

Now, let's get you out of here.

[dramatic music playing]

[man 7] Pull over.

You guys have been
following me since 1983.

It seems.

Oh, like a couple
of time cops, huh?

[laughs]
I like that.

You're Archibald Finch?

Yup.

The director of low-budget
trash, Archibald Finch.

What can I help you guys with?

Ah, just some normal stuff.
Murder.

Got enemies, Archie?

I don't know.

I have amnesia.

Oh, so he might have enemies

but he just don't remember, huh.

This is so weird.
I mean brain injuries.

Just all mysterious, you know...

makes us think how much like
them goddamn bots we really are.

You know I'm starting to think
we're actually in a simulation,
Detective James.

Oh, oh, Pete.
Look, oh, oh, I'm glitching.

Oh, oh.
I'm all Android, baby.

[laughs]

-Mm. Mm. Mm.
-I'm more of an Apple guy.

You've bitten into
any, uh, rotten apples, Archie?

Women can be rotten apples,
too, right?

Both sour and sweet.

Some are even occupied
by that little worm.

But that's never stopped you,
has it, Archie?

You know, sometimes we even bite
into that nasty little seed.

And what is that seed
filled with?

Cyanide.

[both laugh]

Man.

We're just messing with you,
man.

It will take a whole lot
of, uh, apple worms and cyanide
seeds to kill a human, right?

But only one woman.

[snickers]

Here's the business, Archie.

Someone tried to do
a hit on you, but...

only he survived.

Why would someone
want to do that to you?

[Pete] Yeah.

I honestly don't know.

[Pete] We think you do know.

We think you're using this
amnesia as an excuse to forget
something you regret doing.

[James] Yeah, like banging
your financier's lady,

who's also supposed to be
the star of your film.

[Pete]
Whoa! The plot thickens.

-Who is she?
-[Pete] You mean who was she?

She's dead.
Her boyfriend did it.

Boy what kind of mess
he did on her, you know.

Cut her every which way.

-Only the bastard demon
have the guts to do it himself.
-[clicking tongue]

[dramatic music playing]

[Electronic buzzing]

[distorted voices]

[woman 4] Archie, they're after you, baby.

Listen to me,
you have two paths, Archie.

You have to choose
the right one.

You don't want to go with them. They can't be trusted.

Those weren't cops.

Don't fall for their tricks.

Go to the El Rancho Motel
tonight and you will
remember me.

[gasps]
[distorted voice]
Tonight, you're coming with us.

Fuck!

[gunshot]

Oh, ooh fuck!

[laughing]

You can't kill me, you fool.

[laughing]

[electronic buzzing]

[Retrovision]
Wake up, Archie.

We have been searching
for you for so long,

but this is your chance.

This is your chance
to finally be set free.

Open your mind.

[imitating monkey chattering]

[Thana]
This is how you kill a birdie.

Get her in the tub.

Action.

[Birdie whimpers]

[snarls]

Jughead wants
his cigarettes back.

-You see Jughead,
tell him I stole his cigarette.
-[gasps]

[Archie] Birdie.

[Thana] Fuck!

[Retrovision]
Watch closely, Archie.
This is how you died.

I really thought the birds
understood my chirps.

My dad said, "Anne
you spend all your time talking
to the damn birds,

-you should have been born
with a beak."
-[chuckles softly]

So he gave me the nickname
Birdie Anne and it kind of
stuck, I guess.

Well, she doesn't have a beak,
but I'll tell you one thing,

she's got superb acting skills
and she's ready to fly
all over Hollywood.

Now, what's the
name of this flick?

-The film is called Retrovision.
-Oh, wow.

-[Wren] Retrovision?
-[Birdie] I like that.

Weird title, but,
hey, if it's good.

Well, I, for one,
think the title is very unique.

We read it and I am...

um, we're real excited
about the role I'll be playing.

We had a problem
with the love scene though.

We would like you to make it
a bit more suggestive.

I'm not too comfortable seeing
my little Birdie acting in a
provocative way.

[chuckles]
Wren's a jealous boyfriend.

Look, I'll do whatever is
necessary to be in your film

as long as it's done
in an artistic way.

Oh, yeah. Sure.
Very classy.

Well, I'm the one
with the cash cannon shooting
dollar bills around,

so this better be
a professional shoot.

I don't want to find out
I was funding a porno,

but anything for my little
Birdie.

If she wants to be an actress,
so be it.

So, do I got the part?

-You got the part.
-Yay!

-To the big time.
-[chuckles softly]

[clears throat]

So, Mr. Archie, when you become
a big film director

will you let it be known all
over Tinseltown that Wren made
you who you are?

I'll shout it from the rooftops.

[all chuckle]

Maybe we'll make a
Wren biopic one day,

about a self-made--

[screams]

What's wrong with her?

Hey, hey, hey. Shh, shh.
No, no, no, no.
It's okay. It's okay.

There's nothing to be scared of.
There's nothing there, okay.

Hush little Birdie,
don't say a word.

Poppa's going to buy you
a role in a movie.

What's happening? Is...

she getting into character
or...?

This will kill me.

Honey, no, no. Never, never.

You're mine.

I'll never let anyone hurt you,
not even me.

Ed,
Ed will be calling you to...

work out the legal stuff.

[Birdie]
They say I can play the part.

Who are they?

[Wren]
Babe, he already knows that.

I'll let you do anything
you want if it makes you happy.

Of course,
you can play the part.

[suspenseful music playing]

[sighs]

Can I tell you a story, Archie?

Yeah, sure.

Let's call it
the unfortunate bad fortune
of Dr. Mind Fuck.

-Sounds like a knockoff.
-[laughs] Oh, you'll like him.

There once was a shrink
named Dr. Mind Fuck,

who was treating a certain woman
with a mental disorder.

She started seeing things
that weren't there like
this bug that talks to her.

So the doctor
decided to help her

and she believed that he can
make this bug go away.

But the bug had already
planted its roots
into her beautiful mind

and the doc's experiments,
they made her much worse.

Her true love knew this and he
just had to stop this evil doc.

One day Dr. Fr...
I mean Dr. Mind Fuck

went on a fishing trip.

He had an accident and just like
that he became the fish food.

Don't be like Dr. Mind Fuck.

I... I would... Never.

Good and keep it
professional with my Birdie.

Maybe then you won't become
another cautionary tale.

[suspenseful music playing]

[birds chirping]

There you go.

I know. I know.

Look, calm down, Ed.

He turns out to be a reptilian
humanoid, we always have Donnie
the investor.

[Wren] So, let's talk.

Ed said that you want
80% ownership of my film.

100, I want 100% ownership
of your film

and fuck Ed,
this is all about you and me.

100%!

What the hell
are you talking about?

So, here's the spill.

I want to fund your movie
and then shelf it.

[scoffs]

[Archie]
You're fucking with me, right?

No, no.
I know what you're thinking.

Why would I
want to shelf my film?

[laughs]

Of course, you'd ask that,
you poor little man.

-Well, here it is,
Birdie is addicting.
-[Birdie] Sighs.

She's my...

I don't know, crack,
but she has left me before it.

Well, I can't have that, Archie.

I need my control back.

How would shelfing
my film help you with that?

If I own the film, I own her.

She doesn't have to know
the film is shelved.

I'm her manager and her agent.

As far as she knows
I'm just shopping around town
like a hungry shark.

Plus, she needs something
to do to keep her sane, saner.

But you're not going to shop it?

Maybe at some point...

but until then

I'm just going to dangle your
script like a carrot on a stick.

You're out of your fucking mind,

if you think I'm going to give
up my film,

so you can play your sick
twisted game with your
girlfriend.

What do I look like to you?
A goddamn circus monkey?

[cackling]

Hold that thought,
Curious George.

Big Pie give me a call if
you change your mind, okay.

[clapping]

Hey, yo, Tony. Hurry it up.

Come on, come on, come on. Uh...

Really? Really?

[suspenseful music playing]

[cellphone vibrates]

[Wren] Big Pie, hey.
How've you been?

I'm sorry
I didn't quite catch that.

You sound like
you've got a cold.

Your voice
seems a little hoarse.

Change of heart, really?

You know what?
You don't need to answer that.

You're a sensible guy.
I know.

Okay, we will talk
soon though, okay?

Oh, and for your sore throat...

-[inaudible]
-[choking]

[laughs]

Oh, I sure hope Big Pie gets
well real soon.

So tomorrow night I'm
hosting this gentleman's party.

You should come.
We are making a flick after all.

It'll be at my friend's place
and it has an underground
dungeon.

We'll celebrate and party like
rock stars before we burn out.

Tell you what? Rip up the check
and walk away or cash it.

I'll be checking my bank account
to see your decision.

When's the last time you ever
got fifty thousand dollars for
being a director, let alone 50.

Think about it and maybe then
I'll see you at my little
shindig tomorrow night.

One more thing, when you do show
up could you bring your video
camera with you?

I've got something
I want you to record for me.

It'll be real special.

Can you do this for me?

I got this sneaking little
feeling you'll make
a special appearance.

[Mary] I need to talk to you.

What's going on?

I can't get a hold of Ed.

It's not like him.

I think something's wrong.

Tell me what happened?

Ed, he got a call
from an investor, Donnie.

He was so excited.
This was yesterday afternoon.

Donnie said yes,
he wants to fund your guys'
movie, the whole bit.

There's no way he
wouldn't have called you by now.

[sighs]

Damn it, Ed.

It's Wren.

I knew it.
He's a fucking maniac.

Oh, dear.

What'd you guys
get yourselves into?

I know.

Wren told me
this cautionary tale.

It alluded to the fact
that if I ever crossed him,
he would kill me.

What are you going to do?

Look...

just keep calling Ed.

Call Donnie, too.

Tell him...

I still want to make
the Retrovisionfilm.

I'm ending this deal.

One more thing...

look up any shrinks
that might have gone missing...

that they're in...
on a fishing trip.

Okay.

Look, Archie.

My dad, he's a big gun guy

and he insists on me having
an arsenal just in case
the world ends.

There's a gun in here.

Just in case.

♪ I was strolling in the dark

♪ Till I found a street
With a spark ♪

♪ And then I got really hungry

♪ Hungry enough
To slay the sheep ♪

♪ And drink its blood

[gunshot]

[Mary over phone] Hey, Archie.
I got some news.

It seems that Dr. Fred Reed
recently died in a boating
accident while fishing.

[Pete]
He threatened Fred to stop
treating Birdie's mental state,

but she kept
having hallucinations of an
insect that spoke to her.

I'm only here for you to face
your fears, buddy,

which happens to be death
and I get paid for it.

My brother was very intrigued
by the case.

He wanted to help her,
so he started treating her.

How would you like,
I tell you a story to calm you
down before I fucking kill you.

Wren, he put a stop to all that.

He kept showing up at the
grocery store, the parking lot.

That's the end of the story
except for the fact that
we got some boots for you.

We bought you boots.

You're going to wear these boots
and you're going to go swimming.
Huh?

He came in with a film script.

It was entitled the
Dead Shrinkin bold font
right on the cover.

He started reading it out loud

and it was about
a corrupt psychiatrist

that was messing with the mind
of an innocent girl.

You remember, when you were
a kid and you'd go to sleep

and you thought there were
monsters under the bed.

Well, there were.
[laughs]

The last thing he said to my
brother before he left

was don't steal
the little sheep from the wolf.

He'll eat you.
He'll eat you real good.

Wren invited me.

-[man 8] Archie.
-Yeah, that's me.

Welcome to my house of pain,
pleasure and whatever the hell
else Wren uses it for.

Thanks for letting me in.

Hold on little, doggie.

I'll let you in the doggy door,

but, first,
I need to know one thing.

How many years has that
stick been stuck up your ass?

[laughs]

Relax, it's a party.

It's downstairs.

[tense music playing]

[man 9] Sit down.

[music fades]

[Wren]
Gentlemen, may I please
have everyone's attention.

I'm getting into
the movie business.

[laughs]

Clap, clap,
clap your hands director.

You are the artist.

Clap for your future works.

Gentlemen, may I introduce
Archie Finch,

director extraordinaire and his
leading lady, Birdie Anne.

[applause]

She will be the
Marilyn Monroe of our times.

-Yes.
-[man 10] How will this help
our cause?

As all of us watchers here know
Hollywood is the great beast.

Its tentacles reach the
farthest corners of the Earth,

infecting the minds of the
simple, blinding the minds
of the sheeple, right?

With their corrupt ideology,
morals, and ethics.

So, we must blow up this beast,
slay this dragon.

What better way to do it
than by infiltrating
its very castle walls.

Secret societies control us
like puppets,

treat us like cattle and in the
end, they sell us off to the
very devil himself.

But Birdie Anne
will be our way in.

She will sleep in their beds,
be our eyes and ears.

Marilyn slept with J.F.K.

Birdie Anne will fuck
all of Hollywood to death.

[Birdie]
[gasps] What?

Oh, babe.
Don't look that way.

I know what that look is.

It's the bugs on my face,
isn't it?

Don't worry, they are harmless.

The bug is talking to her again
in her head.

Lately, it's been telling her
that we humans are all insects.

Isn't that right, babe?

But we aren't insects.

We're men and we
want pleasure from you.

An insect couldn't get pleasure
from you, now, could it?

Well, not the kind we seek.

Gentlemen, have at our queen.

She will feed her king
and her people.

Archie,
did you bring your camera?

Push record.

[tense music playing]

[Archie]
Get the fuck away from her.

[Wren] What? Whoa! What...
what's going on?

[Archie] Birdie, come on.
We have to leave now.

I am free.

[Archie] Where's Ed?

Ed? What am I, his keeper?

I don't babysit
overgrown douchebags, Archie.

Now let's talk about this bad,
bad thing you just did.

[laughs]

[suspenseful music playing]

Don't you dare.

Don't you even think
about taking my birdie.

Put her back in her cage
where she belongs.

[crying]

[grunts]
For the love of... Oh, my God!

[melancholy music playing]

[breathing heavily]

[low beat music playing]

Y'all have a good day.

[crickets chirping]

[car engine revs]

[waiter]
Hi, what can I get you two?

Two evil olives, please.

[waiter] Coming right up.

Ooh.

It is an evil olive, isn't it?

Yeah, you're not kidding.

Hardcore little dude.

My best friend.

She gives me sweet ignorance
for a minute, but it doesn't
last much longer than that.

You could be anywhere
doing anything and just pop out
of nowhere.

I have no control over my life
because of it.

[rustling]

[somber music playing]

I don't even know who I am.

Completely and utterly consumed
by this thing.

I hear these voices in my head
giving me directions
and I have to follow them.

It's like I don't have a choice.

The... the bug.

[distorted voice]
He's right there.

Make it go away.
Please make it go away.

The mysterious ace card.

Some people believe
that this card represents...
death.

Hmm.

-In the Vietnam War...
-[coughs]

...Americans would place
the ace card on enemy soldiers

to have a psychological impact
when they found them.

Hmm, riveting,

but I must say, I think
my trophy will knock yours
out of the water.

-Oh, really? Do tell.
-Okay.

[chuckles]

Easy.

What?
That was my joker face.

-Well, it definitely
wasn't your poker face.
-[chuckles]

That shit was
downright otherworldly.

See, this is why
I should be famous.

No CGI needed here.

[chuckles]

[laughing]

Anyways, the joker card
was first introduced in 1862

and was actually first depicted
as a tiger.

Really? Does that mean you
have a tiger face, too?

-I don't know if you could
be trusted with that one yet.
-Oh, come on.

[sighs]
Tell you what? I'll show you
mine if you show me yours.

-Okay.
-[chuckles]

In a show of solidarity,

we'll raise our shot glasses,

take a shot and then reveal
our finest tiger faces.

Okay.

All right.
Ready when you are.

[clink]

[coughs]

[distorted growling]

[both laughing]

[Birdie]
Has your monkey won any?

[chuckles]

Hey, Archie.

I know it's been a week,
but I'm so shaken up
over the whole thing.

I mean if you hadn't been there,
I don't know what would have
happened.

I know it's what I had to do.

[sighs]
Why do you have to leave?

Ed's my best friend.

I understand.

Go to the hotel.

It's probably the safest place.

Are you sure
the hotel is the safest place?

That place gives me the creeps.

I have to do
some detective stuff.

-Batman shit.
-[chuckles]

Well then, you need a Robin?

Just promise me you'll be safe.

When all this blows over...

when everything's figured out...

we'll go to a beach
of your choice.

-I like that idea.
-Get Mai Tais.

[chuckles]

[traffic noises]

[Retrovision] I want you two
to get into her room.

Once you have her secured, bring in the rest of the ghouls

and make sure before you kill her, to bathe her in that gallon of pig blood I gave you.

[Birdie gasping]

No, no, no, no, no please, no.

[gasping]

No, no, no, no. Please, no.

[dramatic music playing]

[screams]

No, no, no, no.

[panting]

[imitating monkey chattering]

[thuds]

[Birdie panting]

[Wren] Film it. Film it all.
She's going to be
a star after all.

And as for Archie, don't worry.

I sent a snake after him.

Today will still be beautiful.

[cackling]

[low beat music playing]

[Archie]
Ed, man. Where are you?

[suspenseful music playing]

I'm super excited
about this investor.
Let's make Retrovision.

You're my guy.
Yeah, get back to me.

Text me or something.

[doorbell rings]

-Mary, how are you sweetie?
-I'm good.

I'm just coming
to check on Archie.

That's what I figured
'cause ain't nobody want to
visit an aging bat like me

-that's for damn sure.
-[laughs]

Um, how's his
physical therapy going?

Good. Real good.
He's starting to remember
little things here and there.

He's in his room.

[fly buzzing]

[whistle blows]

[Mary]
So how's your memory?

Remember anything new?

[dramatic music playing]

Hey, it'll...
it'll come back to you.

[whistle blows]

Archie, you scared me.

I thought you
were the living dead.

You need a shower.
You're bringing in the flies.

They gravitate towards...

Well, it's obvious
you ain't hearing me.

Looks like I'm going to have
to spray you down with Febreze.

I'm left no choice.

You have dad's belt buckle?

I've been saving it for you.

Now, you're not
going to sell it, are you?

Because if that's the case,
I'm going to just keep it here
where it's nice and safe.

I'm not going to sell it.

Okay, but I'm trusting you.

[voices echoing]

[dramatic music playing]

[music stops playing]

Retrovision, hey.
What's that about?

Let me guess.
How we should learn
from our past mistakes.

Chicken crap.
Give me that.

No good alligator hugging,
cow tipping, donkey ride.

Who do you think you are?
Horseshit.

Hey, Archie.

Don't listen to that man.

This script is going to make for
a fine movie one day.

[birds chirping]

[man 11]
Hey, what you doing
with that mannequin.

Hey, look, the yard sale
was over yesterday, buddy.

Hey, come back here.
I want money for that.
I want money.

Come back here.
Come back here.

[dog barks]

What else did he take?

[intense music]

[Archie]
Look at dreams. I can't stay.

[laughing]

[gunshot]

[reel whirring]

[Retrovision]
Open your mind.

[laughing]

["Fur Elise" by Beethoven
playing]

[distorted voice]

[gasps]

[Retrovision]
Allow me to introduce myself.

I am a Psychopomp
starring as Retrovision,

the title and character from a
script you wrote while on Earth.

Me and my cast reenacted
elements and people
from your past life

in order to wake you up
from your false belief
that you were alive.

This here is not a
physical plane as it seems.

These are ghost sets of actual
places you had been to on Earth.

One of my best actors playing
your friend Birdie Anne

triggered a memory
which resulted
in you realizing the truth.

This gave us the right
to guide you to your final
destination in the afterlife,

but we weren't the only ones
that were trying to pull you out
of this time loop.

Dark insects had assembled
their own cast,

but with the intention
of taking you to the dark place.

But now that you know the truth
you must leave.

The insects are crafty
and could still trick you.

This motel door
is really a gate.

You must walk through it.

Do it now
before the loop closes.

[scraping]

Job well done.

[tranquil music playing]

[Archie] What do you want
our story to be now, Birdie?

[music fades]

[suspenseful music playing]