All language subtitles for Orange is the New Black - 05x06 - Flaming Hot Cheetos, Literally.WEBrip.Morose.English.C.edit.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,170 --> 00:00:19,170 Synced & corrected by PopcornAWH = www.addic7ed.com = 2 00:01:19,106 --> 00:01:21,568 Poo! Poo! Poo! Poo! 3 00:01:26,868 --> 00:01:28,074 They said poo-poo. 4 00:01:28,157 --> 00:01:31,285 We should sew up her butthole so she can't ever poo again. 5 00:01:31,368 --> 00:01:32,454 That's what we should do. 6 00:01:32,537 --> 00:01:34,622 But where would the poo go? 7 00:01:34,706 --> 00:01:36,874 It'd fill up her lungs until she couldn't breathe. 8 00:01:37,326 --> 00:01:38,702 Are you okay, Leanne? 9 00:01:38,785 --> 00:01:41,663 I really think that you need to get that looked at. 10 00:01:41,746 --> 00:01:43,623 Or at least put something over it 11 00:01:43,707 --> 00:01:45,584 other than a dryer sheet and rubber band. 12 00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:48,503 I ain't going nowhere until this bitch gets what she deserves. 13 00:01:55,727 --> 00:01:59,314 In America, everyone has the right to a fair trial. 14 00:01:59,397 --> 00:02:00,524 Unless you brown! 15 00:02:00,607 --> 00:02:02,275 - Or poor! - Or famous! 16 00:02:02,358 --> 00:02:03,359 Or a white Christian! 17 00:02:03,435 --> 00:02:05,225 All right, all right. I'm just gonna have 18 00:02:05,295 --> 00:02:08,170 a quick habeas corpus, quid pro quo with my client. 19 00:02:08,311 --> 00:02:09,478 No go. 20 00:02:09,945 --> 00:02:13,156 Look, 2007 Britney Spears on steroids... 21 00:02:13,821 --> 00:02:16,563 you best step out of my way so I can talk to my friend. 22 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,802 Hey, your friend gave our only gun to a guard 23 00:02:19,827 --> 00:02:22,788 and then he shot off my best finger and escaped. 24 00:02:22,872 --> 00:02:25,165 That hillbilly bitch needs to burn at the stake. 25 00:02:25,249 --> 00:02:27,668 Yeah, like, crispy. 26 00:02:28,141 --> 00:02:29,558 Hey, how about a high four? 27 00:02:30,934 --> 00:02:33,396 Oh! Leanne! Leanne, Leanne, Leanne. 28 00:02:33,479 --> 00:02:35,814 Poo! Poo! Poo! Poo! 29 00:02:35,898 --> 00:02:38,067 All right. All right. 30 00:02:38,151 --> 00:02:39,193 Come on, come on. 31 00:02:39,277 --> 00:02:41,221 Come on! 32 00:02:41,315 --> 00:02:42,942 What if it was you in there? 33 00:02:43,781 --> 00:02:45,573 Wouldn't you want that chance to explain yourself 34 00:02:45,635 --> 00:02:47,094 before you got thrown into a shit box? 35 00:02:47,185 --> 00:02:50,313 I mean, come on, let's be better than they are. 36 00:02:50,491 --> 00:02:51,909 Let's have a little due process. 37 00:02:53,091 --> 00:02:55,927 Due, due, due, due, due. 38 00:02:56,052 --> 00:02:57,747 She said doo-doo. 39 00:02:58,463 --> 00:03:00,298 - You got five minutes. - Okay. 40 00:03:10,142 --> 00:03:12,060 Hi. 41 00:03:12,604 --> 00:03:13,771 Oh. 42 00:03:13,855 --> 00:03:15,276 Okay, okay. 43 00:03:15,292 --> 00:03:17,378 - Careful of the suit. Yeah. - Huh? Oh. 44 00:03:17,461 --> 00:03:19,759 - What the hell were you thinking? - You mad at me? 45 00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:21,671 - Oh, definitely. - Are they gonna murder me? 46 00:03:21,726 --> 00:03:22,884 Probably. 47 00:03:22,967 --> 00:03:24,636 What we gonna do? 48 00:03:25,637 --> 00:03:27,847 - We're gonna give 'em a show. Okay? - Okay. 49 00:03:27,930 --> 00:03:30,432 First, you need to look remorseful. 50 00:03:31,768 --> 00:03:34,153 - You know, sorry for what you've done. - Oh, be upset. 51 00:03:34,178 --> 00:03:35,471 Oh, yeah, I can do that. 52 00:03:35,496 --> 00:03:36,705 - Yeah? - I can do that really easy. 53 00:03:36,790 --> 00:03:39,333 I have a lot of practice from my shopliftin' days with Mama. 54 00:03:39,417 --> 00:03:41,878 - Mmm-hmm. - "Show Mama your sad face." 55 00:03:41,903 --> 00:03:44,280 Now, tell the nice man you didn't mean to put the shampoo bottles 56 00:03:44,305 --> 00:03:46,301 "down your underpants." Yeah. 57 00:03:46,973 --> 00:03:49,768 Mama and I, we could work a Save-A-Lot like no one's business. 58 00:03:49,793 --> 00:03:50,961 One time, Boo, 59 00:03:50,973 --> 00:03:55,102 I got away with stealing eight packs of chicken wings in my overalls. 60 00:03:55,186 --> 00:03:56,604 But then I got caught with Cheez-Its. 61 00:03:56,688 --> 00:03:57,980 'Cause square boxes, you know, they're just... 62 00:03:58,064 --> 00:03:59,649 - They're harder, right? - Yeah, of course. 63 00:03:59,732 --> 00:04:03,152 And sad face wasn't workin' that day because the manager was, like, a queer. 64 00:04:03,235 --> 00:04:05,154 And he hated kids... 65 00:04:05,354 --> 00:04:07,843 but Mama got off promisin' him somethin' called a popper? 66 00:04:07,954 --> 00:04:10,206 - Oh, yeah, I know what poppers are. Yeah. - Yeah? 67 00:04:10,371 --> 00:04:12,207 - So, anyway, watch. Watch, watch. - Hmm. 68 00:04:16,196 --> 00:04:18,235 That's actually remarkable. 69 00:04:19,877 --> 00:04:21,963 Let's show the ladies, shall we? 70 00:04:22,046 --> 00:04:23,673 That's it. 71 00:04:23,756 --> 00:04:26,634 - Aw, you poor thing. - I didn't mean to, Mama. 72 00:04:26,718 --> 00:04:28,385 - Oh, come on. - That's right. 73 00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,597 - I'm sorry, Mama. - That's right, I know. 74 00:04:35,059 --> 00:04:38,354 I don't need a medal, but a little recognition would be nice. 75 00:04:40,294 --> 00:04:43,714 I mean, the bringer of light should at least get a Twinkie out of it, right? 76 00:04:44,730 --> 00:04:47,983 You know, I told that whole room, "Hey, guess who fixed the power?" 77 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:49,907 Nothing. 78 00:04:50,962 --> 00:04:52,713 It's a tough fucking crowd. 79 00:04:56,072 --> 00:04:57,656 Got any family out there? 80 00:04:59,345 --> 00:05:00,493 Yeah, me neither. 81 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,789 Hey, guys. So... 82 00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:08,558 it took me one whole minute to look this cute. 83 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,937 It only took me 30 seconds to get so pretty for you. 84 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:13,272 Rude. 85 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,482 What? I'm two years younger than you. 86 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,610 My mom always said shit starts to fall at, like, 29. 87 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,072 How come no one ever told me this before? 88 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,324 I don't know. Maybe they were protecting you. 89 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,349 But it's good that you know now. 90 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,619 Get on the defensive. 91 00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:31,749 I stick my face in ice every day. Like meat in the freezer. 92 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,109 It makes that shit last a whole lot longer. 93 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,837 Okay, shut off the fucking camera. Now. 94 00:05:39,353 --> 00:05:42,272 Hey. All right, that's it. 95 00:05:44,272 --> 00:05:45,794 Look, I don't know anything, okay? 96 00:05:45,819 --> 00:05:47,306 I didn't see anything. 97 00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:50,413 Can I go home now? I wanna go home. 98 00:05:50,530 --> 00:05:52,444 Just stack them in the entryway, please. 99 00:05:52,469 --> 00:05:54,030 What the hell do you think you're doing? 100 00:05:54,156 --> 00:05:56,449 I'm carrying out orders from Governor Hutchinson. And you? 101 00:05:56,474 --> 00:05:59,102 I'm in charge of this place and you're in my fucking way. 102 00:05:59,328 --> 00:06:01,160 Is that how you always speak with women? 103 00:06:01,215 --> 00:06:02,757 No wonder they're rioting. 104 00:06:02,827 --> 00:06:06,143 Explain to me how the governor's plan to de-escalate the situation 105 00:06:06,168 --> 00:06:08,772 includes rewarding the inmates with... 106 00:06:08,797 --> 00:06:10,466 whatever the hell is in those boxes. 107 00:06:10,906 --> 00:06:14,827 In the future, you should ask instead of demand. 108 00:06:15,863 --> 00:06:19,366 The CERT team cannot guarantee ingress into the prison without casualties. 109 00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,669 Governor Hutchinson cares about the lives in there, 110 00:06:21,752 --> 00:06:22,921 unlike other people involved. 111 00:06:23,004 --> 00:06:25,173 That's you. I'm talking about you. 112 00:06:25,264 --> 00:06:27,121 The rest of us are taking the necessary steps 113 00:06:27,146 --> 00:06:30,052 to resolve this situation peacefully. Thank you. 114 00:06:30,732 --> 00:06:33,067 Uh, yeah, just keep going over there. 115 00:06:34,171 --> 00:06:35,380 What the hell? 116 00:06:36,334 --> 00:06:38,669 Your shit's falling, right? How old are you? 117 00:06:39,295 --> 00:06:41,131 Did any of you children think to tell somebody 118 00:06:41,214 --> 00:06:44,467 that a stack of boxes just appeared outside while you were on duty? 119 00:06:44,861 --> 00:06:46,322 Mmm-mmm. 120 00:06:49,347 --> 00:06:50,515 Oh, my God. Take a picture of her. 121 00:06:50,598 --> 00:06:53,268 Hey. Yeah, we got a situation in the front. 122 00:06:56,229 --> 00:06:57,898 So 30? 123 00:06:57,981 --> 00:07:00,066 Thirty-five? 124 00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:01,776 Yo, we shouldn't be asking her shit like that. 125 00:07:01,859 --> 00:07:03,736 Black skin doesn't follow the rules, you know? 126 00:07:03,819 --> 00:07:05,113 Please whisper better. 127 00:07:05,196 --> 00:07:07,407 Oh, shit, we got a delivery? 128 00:07:07,490 --> 00:07:09,784 Whoa! 129 00:07:09,868 --> 00:07:12,328 ♪ Buh, buh FedEx, UPS, Amazon Prime ♪ 130 00:07:12,412 --> 00:07:14,789 ♪ Bring us what we need 'Cause it's about time ♪ 131 00:07:14,873 --> 00:07:17,324 Yeah, don't ever do that again. Ever. 132 00:07:17,356 --> 00:07:18,566 Was that Kanye? 133 00:07:20,109 --> 00:07:22,879 - Yo. - Do we answer? 134 00:07:23,028 --> 00:07:24,905 - I like her ensemble. - Yeah. 135 00:07:24,988 --> 00:07:27,754 Not too in-your-riot-face, but some flair. 136 00:07:27,786 --> 00:07:29,122 I'm doin' it. 137 00:07:38,631 --> 00:07:39,673 Psst, psst. 138 00:07:41,175 --> 00:07:42,343 Um... 139 00:07:42,426 --> 00:07:44,887 Hello? How may I help you? 140 00:07:44,971 --> 00:07:46,514 Hi, there. Nita? 141 00:07:46,597 --> 00:07:48,682 We spoke on the phone, I think? Was that you? 142 00:07:49,148 --> 00:07:50,315 Maybe. 143 00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:53,452 I have a delivery from Governor Hutchinson. 144 00:07:54,809 --> 00:07:57,979 Oh. Well... thank you. 145 00:07:58,234 --> 00:07:59,568 Thank you very much. 146 00:07:59,652 --> 00:08:02,905 We'll be in touch. Here is my cell. 147 00:08:02,989 --> 00:08:05,616 Let's keep the lines of communication open, okay? 148 00:08:06,242 --> 00:08:08,327 Okay. Enjoy. 149 00:08:11,747 --> 00:08:13,207 What the fuck? 150 00:08:13,291 --> 00:08:15,793 Hey, man, get the... Oh, shit! 151 00:08:20,189 --> 00:08:23,296 Thanks for the help, guys. Really appreciate it. 152 00:08:23,343 --> 00:08:26,452 Some of us are smart enough not to go near a unmarked box. 153 00:08:26,546 --> 00:08:29,757 I mean, that could be anything. It could be a bomb. Anthrax. 154 00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,937 Itty-bitty soldiers. 155 00:08:36,514 --> 00:08:38,891 Fuck it. One for you... 156 00:08:39,976 --> 00:08:42,270 Cheetos! 157 00:08:46,065 --> 00:08:48,235 - Takis! - Tampons? 158 00:08:49,024 --> 00:08:50,775 Hot Cheetos, Takis, and tampons 159 00:08:50,858 --> 00:08:52,986 just don't have the same ring to it, you know? 160 00:08:53,070 --> 00:08:54,404 Yo, yo, yo... 161 00:08:55,322 --> 00:08:57,574 they're meeting our demands. 162 00:08:58,866 --> 00:09:00,743 Told you, man! You did it. 163 00:09:03,089 --> 00:09:05,466 Don't need nobody to speak for us. Fuck yeah! 164 00:09:05,627 --> 00:09:07,504 You a hero, man. 165 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,756 Girl, that's a mistake. 166 00:09:12,310 --> 00:09:16,411 Don't you know you always got to pay for the flipper? 167 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,489 You really think... 168 00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:21,144 Kandy with a "K" is gonna win Ultimate Grand Supreme 169 00:09:21,316 --> 00:09:23,735 with her own God-given teeth? Hell, no! 170 00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:26,379 - Can we watch 106 & Park now? - Sure can. 171 00:09:27,791 --> 00:09:29,793 You didn't ask for permission. 172 00:09:30,049 --> 00:09:32,177 I ain't be needing your permission or nobody. 173 00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:35,138 Well, Ms. Tendler says otherwise, 'fore she knock the black off of you. 174 00:09:35,163 --> 00:09:36,507 You sound like a old lady. 175 00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:39,743 Man, I am a old lady, as of today. 176 00:09:39,969 --> 00:09:42,097 And it's my TV time. I asked. So... 177 00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:44,099 Nobody else likes the shit you watch. It ain't fair. 178 00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:45,725 What the hell are y'all doing? 179 00:09:45,809 --> 00:09:47,561 Dante, no TV for the next week. 180 00:09:47,644 --> 00:09:49,604 Fucking bullshit! I hate it here. 181 00:09:49,688 --> 00:09:51,356 Don't like you much neither. 182 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,108 Taystee, my office. 183 00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:56,361 - Time to go, old lady. - Shut up. 184 00:10:00,312 --> 00:10:01,731 Come on in. 185 00:10:02,076 --> 00:10:03,660 Have a seat. 186 00:10:03,743 --> 00:10:06,746 Ain't gotta sit, 'cause I already know, Ms. Tendler. 187 00:10:06,830 --> 00:10:09,624 Now that I'm 18, I gotta start figuring out where I'm gonna live at. 188 00:10:09,708 --> 00:10:12,836 Now, I know I only got a year to figure it out, 189 00:10:12,919 --> 00:10:15,130 but... I got a job and I got some friends. 190 00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:16,756 So, I think I'll be all right. 191 00:10:17,924 --> 00:10:18,967 Right? 192 00:10:19,262 --> 00:10:20,638 Sit down, Taystee. 193 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:27,601 Happy birthday. 194 00:10:29,769 --> 00:10:31,146 You got me a card? 195 00:10:31,784 --> 00:10:33,119 No. Your birth mother reached out, 196 00:10:33,186 --> 00:10:35,605 but we couldn't tell you till you turned 18. 197 00:10:35,775 --> 00:10:37,986 Contact information's in the envelope. 198 00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:41,073 And don't go blamin' me. I don't make the laws. 199 00:10:41,156 --> 00:10:42,907 These white men do. Blame them. 200 00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:50,866 She's in here? 201 00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:54,586 Something like that. 202 00:11:03,887 --> 00:11:05,472 Morning, sleepyhead. 203 00:11:09,074 --> 00:11:10,967 What the fuck! 204 00:11:12,229 --> 00:11:14,105 Don't worry. It's just a little drool. 205 00:11:15,023 --> 00:11:18,527 What'd you get into last night? Is that some sort of new drug thing? 206 00:11:19,094 --> 00:11:20,095 Bayley. 207 00:11:20,529 --> 00:11:22,320 - You're out of here. - No. 208 00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:25,343 No, no, no, no. That's a mistake. 209 00:11:25,383 --> 00:11:27,843 You can't let me go. I'm a danger to society, sir. 210 00:11:28,252 --> 00:11:30,004 Be that as it may, we can't keep you. 211 00:11:30,029 --> 00:11:32,031 No charges have been filed. Let... let's go. 212 00:11:32,699 --> 00:11:34,659 Frank, Janie called. 213 00:11:34,734 --> 00:11:37,153 She'll be over to get you after she drops the kids at soccer. 214 00:11:37,298 --> 00:11:38,716 Thanks, Tom. 215 00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:41,969 Ah, don't despair, little buddy. 216 00:11:42,052 --> 00:11:45,306 This is why God invented booze and the drunk tank, hmm? 217 00:11:46,224 --> 00:11:48,434 You need to slip from your troubles, 218 00:11:48,934 --> 00:11:51,354 make a little ruckus, and you spend the night in here. 219 00:11:53,926 --> 00:11:55,553 But everything's gonna be fine. 220 00:11:58,403 --> 00:11:59,695 Bayley, come on. 221 00:12:17,168 --> 00:12:18,253 No Takis for you? 222 00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,005 Leave me alone. 223 00:12:21,089 --> 00:12:25,009 Hard to do that... seeing as how you're in my bunk. 224 00:12:26,220 --> 00:12:29,514 It's her bed. It's mine. Go fuck yourself. 225 00:12:40,775 --> 00:12:42,486 Why aren't you saying anything? 226 00:12:42,569 --> 00:12:43,737 Nah... 227 00:12:44,946 --> 00:12:46,156 I'm good. 228 00:12:48,794 --> 00:12:51,088 Some black power silent treatment bullshit or something? 229 00:12:51,593 --> 00:12:52,970 More like... 230 00:12:53,955 --> 00:12:55,665 I don't got energy to waste. 231 00:12:57,876 --> 00:12:59,002 I got my own sad. 232 00:13:06,468 --> 00:13:09,388 She used to sleep here, man. 233 00:13:12,891 --> 00:13:14,351 Right there. 234 00:13:14,434 --> 00:13:15,727 Across from me. 235 00:13:17,718 --> 00:13:20,555 Sometimes she'd do this thing, where she'd... 236 00:13:20,982 --> 00:13:24,569 bounce her leg while she was tryin' to fall asleep. 237 00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:27,906 The whole fucking bed would creak. 238 00:13:27,989 --> 00:13:30,074 It drove me crazy. I would wanna punch her. 239 00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:38,417 Now I can't fall asleep... 240 00:13:40,335 --> 00:13:41,795 'cause I lie here... 241 00:13:43,713 --> 00:13:45,340 waiting for the squeak. 242 00:13:50,261 --> 00:13:51,555 I didn't know that. 243 00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:55,600 I never got to sleep next to her. 244 00:13:58,269 --> 00:13:59,646 That's the thing. 245 00:14:00,563 --> 00:14:02,607 I'm not sad. I'm angry. 246 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,030 I hate everyone. 247 00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:12,992 Anyone... laughing or smiling or... 248 00:14:13,952 --> 00:14:18,247 being alive is fucking offensive to me and they should all just fucking die. 249 00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,753 And eventually, I'm just gonna burn up from rage 250 00:14:23,837 --> 00:14:25,129 and then I'll just be dust. 251 00:14:25,213 --> 00:14:28,258 And I don't know how to make it stop. 252 00:14:31,345 --> 00:14:32,554 I do. 253 00:14:38,226 --> 00:14:41,145 Come on! You are coming with me. 254 00:14:41,229 --> 00:14:42,439 I got the baby. 255 00:14:42,522 --> 00:14:44,524 So? We'll drop it off at your cousin's. 256 00:14:44,608 --> 00:14:46,275 She owes me for the acrylics, anyway. 257 00:14:47,685 --> 00:14:48,769 How do I look? 258 00:14:48,987 --> 00:14:52,240 Wow, pero, you look like... 259 00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:53,325 Diane Sawyer. 260 00:14:53,992 --> 00:14:55,744 Come on. Let's rock this mother. 261 00:15:01,666 --> 00:15:03,418 Ahh! Gotcha! 262 00:15:14,471 --> 00:15:17,682 So, suddenly everybody think they on Orchard Beach or some shit? 263 00:15:18,399 --> 00:15:21,318 I was thinking more Miami, but thank you for ruining the fantasy. 264 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,146 Right before Drake was gonna come over, too. 265 00:15:23,377 --> 00:15:26,367 Oh, shit, you think Pitbull might be coming, too? 266 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,651 Nah, girl. 267 00:15:27,734 --> 00:15:29,193 Maybe Fat Joe, if you're lucky. 268 00:15:29,778 --> 00:15:31,654 It's like Pitbull super-sized. 269 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,395 What the hell are you doing out here? 270 00:15:35,033 --> 00:15:36,826 I was jealous. Wanted a tan. 271 00:15:37,326 --> 00:15:38,703 Mmm-hmm. 272 00:15:38,787 --> 00:15:42,165 Don't you be trying to bring any of that crap from inside out here. 273 00:15:42,248 --> 00:15:43,542 Out here, we're trying to relax and shit. 274 00:15:44,584 --> 00:15:46,586 Like you're really relaxing in the middle of all this 275 00:15:46,670 --> 00:15:48,254 after what went down? 276 00:15:48,526 --> 00:15:50,946 It's more like I'm just tryin' not to make shit worse. 277 00:15:51,614 --> 00:15:53,031 Yeah, I hear that. 278 00:15:55,489 --> 00:15:57,073 You seriously trying to sit out now? 279 00:15:57,306 --> 00:15:58,516 Yeah. 280 00:15:59,757 --> 00:16:01,008 I think so. 281 00:16:01,248 --> 00:16:04,126 You know, I'm trying to get back home to my baby girl one day, 282 00:16:04,209 --> 00:16:05,335 and this might be the only way 283 00:16:05,418 --> 00:16:07,545 to avoid all the fucked up shit that keeps finding me. 284 00:16:07,630 --> 00:16:10,799 It's like... It's like I'm a fucked-up-shit magnet. 285 00:16:11,914 --> 00:16:14,792 It ain't you. Prison's the magnet. 286 00:16:15,512 --> 00:16:16,930 You think so? 287 00:16:17,014 --> 00:16:18,098 I hope so. 288 00:16:18,836 --> 00:16:21,088 I gotta believe things'll be better on the outside. 289 00:16:22,592 --> 00:16:23,885 To laying low. 290 00:16:26,596 --> 00:16:28,180 To Drake's fine ass. 291 00:16:29,424 --> 00:16:31,761 - I'll drink to that. - Mmm. 292 00:16:32,135 --> 00:16:35,180 Look at Neri! She's showing. 293 00:16:36,033 --> 00:16:38,975 - You're texting with Cal? - What else am I gonna do? 294 00:16:39,244 --> 00:16:42,457 It's not like I'm busy with any important riot duties. 295 00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:46,586 Oh, my God. Sitting this out must be so hard for you. 296 00:16:47,587 --> 00:16:51,006 You gonna spontaneously combust if you're not in charge of something soon? 297 00:16:51,090 --> 00:16:53,175 Whatever you say, my great leader. 298 00:16:54,677 --> 00:16:58,723 I am only here to serve you, my great leader. 299 00:17:00,224 --> 00:17:01,642 Well, that's kinda hot. 300 00:17:05,187 --> 00:17:06,230 What can I tell you? 301 00:17:06,313 --> 00:17:10,317 Yeah, you can keep crying about Hugo... or you can make another decision. 302 00:17:11,611 --> 00:17:13,886 It's hard to lose a pet, eh. 303 00:17:14,279 --> 00:17:16,782 Especially when he gets blown up by your ex-husband 304 00:17:16,866 --> 00:17:18,868 during a botched attempt to murder your neighbor. 305 00:17:18,951 --> 00:17:21,036 I mean, it's a tale as old as time. 306 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,914 Someone, who was definitely not my meditation instructor 307 00:17:23,998 --> 00:17:25,207 at rehab number seven in Sedona, 308 00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:28,544 once told me that depression is holding on... 309 00:17:29,545 --> 00:17:32,632 and sadness is, uh... letting go. 310 00:17:33,382 --> 00:17:36,511 I think it's time for you to let go of Hugo. 311 00:17:38,303 --> 00:17:42,099 You're right. You're absolutely right. 312 00:17:43,476 --> 00:17:44,769 I have to let go. 313 00:17:48,606 --> 00:17:49,607 What're you doing? 314 00:17:49,690 --> 00:17:51,358 - Thank you. - All right. 315 00:17:51,441 --> 00:17:54,153 Whoa! Boundaries, right? So, there you go. 316 00:17:54,236 --> 00:17:55,905 Let's keep it professional. 317 00:18:08,834 --> 00:18:10,294 - Hi. - Hi. 318 00:18:10,377 --> 00:18:13,422 My name's Lorna Morello Muccio. 319 00:18:13,506 --> 00:18:15,132 Is that German? 320 00:18:15,215 --> 00:18:17,384 No, I'm Italian. 321 00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:19,845 Yeah. I know you're Italian. 322 00:18:19,929 --> 00:18:22,264 Your name may as well be Lorna Lasagna. 323 00:18:22,347 --> 00:18:24,016 Anyway, miss... 324 00:18:25,059 --> 00:18:26,477 continue. 325 00:18:28,228 --> 00:18:30,272 I've been having these dreams. 326 00:18:32,316 --> 00:18:33,984 Go on. 327 00:18:34,303 --> 00:18:37,097 Well, they're kinda like sexy dreams? 328 00:18:38,502 --> 00:18:40,504 Do these dreams, uh... 329 00:18:41,116 --> 00:18:43,493 involve penises? 330 00:18:43,578 --> 00:18:48,165 Because that is going to drastically reduce my interest in the subject matter. 331 00:18:48,614 --> 00:18:49,959 No penises. 332 00:18:50,042 --> 00:18:53,128 Well, not exactly. 333 00:18:53,212 --> 00:18:56,246 It's a little embarrassing, honestly. 334 00:18:56,290 --> 00:18:58,710 Um, I'm riding a whale... 335 00:19:00,699 --> 00:19:03,160 in the ocean. 336 00:19:03,430 --> 00:19:07,059 And the water, on my skin, it feels so amazing. 337 00:19:07,649 --> 00:19:10,354 And, you know, they have those... those blow holes... 338 00:19:10,437 --> 00:19:11,772 - Hey. Come on. - ...and it's aimed right... 339 00:19:11,856 --> 00:19:13,357 Hey, hey. 340 00:19:14,483 --> 00:19:15,943 I think we're out of time. 341 00:19:17,361 --> 00:19:19,113 Please fuck me. 342 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,249 What about Vinnie? 343 00:19:22,407 --> 00:19:24,243 I really need your help. 344 00:19:24,326 --> 00:19:27,955 I'm so fucking horny, and I can't stand it. 345 00:19:28,038 --> 00:19:29,123 And I need you to fuck me. 346 00:19:29,206 --> 00:19:30,540 - You're begging me? - I'm begging you. 347 00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:31,667 - You're begging me? - Yeah. 348 00:19:31,751 --> 00:19:33,628 - You know I'm a doctor, right? - Yeah. 349 00:19:33,711 --> 00:19:36,505 - You serious? - Yeah. Yeah, I'm really serious. 350 00:19:37,464 --> 00:19:39,049 Look after your patient. 351 00:19:40,425 --> 00:19:41,636 Your tits feel amazing. 352 00:19:41,719 --> 00:19:43,929 Oh, my God. I missed you so much. 353 00:19:48,433 --> 00:19:50,185 What happens in a riot, stays in a riot? 354 00:19:50,464 --> 00:19:51,673 Yeah. 355 00:20:03,282 --> 00:20:05,951 Hand me that jug of oil, would you? 356 00:20:06,035 --> 00:20:09,079 You ain't greasing up like the rest of those beach bums outside, are you? 357 00:20:09,884 --> 00:20:12,545 I haven't had a tan since '62. 358 00:20:12,708 --> 00:20:15,377 We're not gonna last long at this rate. 359 00:20:16,128 --> 00:20:19,882 The human body can sustain itself for up to three weeks without food. 360 00:20:20,372 --> 00:20:22,874 Myself, I've gone as long as eight days. 361 00:20:23,593 --> 00:20:27,097 Ran into some unexpected weather in Virginia on the trail. 362 00:20:28,015 --> 00:20:30,517 You start hallucinating eventually... 363 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,312 but that could be fun, if you do it right. 364 00:20:33,395 --> 00:20:34,939 Shit! 365 00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:38,192 That sounds like the kind of vacation I need right about now. 366 00:20:38,275 --> 00:20:39,944 Get out my head. 367 00:20:40,027 --> 00:20:42,196 Can I do that without the starving and being outdoors? 368 00:20:42,584 --> 00:20:44,669 You find the dope that's right for you. 369 00:20:45,756 --> 00:20:47,987 ♪ Hot Cheetos and Takis Hot Cheetos and Takis ♪ 370 00:20:48,243 --> 00:20:51,157 ♪ I can't get enough of these Hot Cheetos and Takis ♪ 371 00:20:51,182 --> 00:20:53,685 ♪ Snack, snack Snack, crunch ♪ 372 00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:56,870 ♪ Snack, snack Snack, munch ♪ 373 00:20:57,218 --> 00:20:59,929 - Christ on a cracker. - Have you seen this video? 374 00:21:00,130 --> 00:21:01,966 "Hot Cheetos & Takis"? It's wonderful. 375 00:21:02,049 --> 00:21:03,759 Children are so motivated these days. 376 00:21:03,843 --> 00:21:07,179 These snacks are delicious. Spicy. Cheesy. Crunchy. 377 00:21:07,262 --> 00:21:09,598 Great. Even the adults have lost their minds. 378 00:21:09,877 --> 00:21:11,767 The President of the United States sent them. 379 00:21:11,851 --> 00:21:13,518 They're meeting our demands. 380 00:21:13,602 --> 00:21:15,604 We won! America is great. 381 00:21:15,869 --> 00:21:18,273 Shit. All this craziness is actually getting us somewhere? 382 00:21:18,357 --> 00:21:21,026 Which means life in here will soon return to status quo. 383 00:21:21,110 --> 00:21:23,445 - Hallelujah. - Therefore, we have limited time 384 00:21:23,528 --> 00:21:25,865 to drug Piscatella, drag him inside, 385 00:21:25,948 --> 00:21:27,908 and force the signed confession out of him. 386 00:21:28,398 --> 00:21:30,191 Oh, boy. 387 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:33,247 What do you think? What should our plan be? 388 00:21:33,330 --> 00:21:36,125 What strong-but-not-so-strong-will-kill-him-poison should we use? 389 00:21:36,208 --> 00:21:37,542 Oh, I could google it! 390 00:21:38,222 --> 00:21:40,725 ♪ Snack, snack Snack, crunch ♪ 391 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,214 - Oh, shit. - Qué? 392 00:21:42,484 --> 00:21:45,029 - We're out of Takis. - Oh. We gotta go. 393 00:21:49,404 --> 00:21:52,407 Sometimes, you gotta let it be someone else's problem. 394 00:21:52,432 --> 00:21:55,019 I mean, I'm just saying, though. 395 00:21:56,186 --> 00:21:59,648 You'd think by now some company would want to capitalize on my fame. 396 00:22:00,232 --> 00:22:05,487 I been in a national magazine and I'm a popular coffee-oriented meme. 397 00:22:05,570 --> 00:22:08,183 Like, where you at, Starbucks? 398 00:22:08,246 --> 00:22:09,491 There she go. 399 00:22:09,574 --> 00:22:12,452 We lost her to the fame monster. 400 00:22:12,536 --> 00:22:14,433 Shit! 401 00:22:16,999 --> 00:22:18,542 Riot headquarters. 402 00:22:18,625 --> 00:22:21,545 How can you make our prison dreams come true today? 403 00:22:21,628 --> 00:22:23,798 This is Nita, from Governor Hutchinson's office. 404 00:22:23,881 --> 00:22:27,301 Oh, hey, Nita! Girl, what up? 405 00:22:28,427 --> 00:22:31,096 Them snacks you dropped off, though, were delightful. 406 00:22:31,180 --> 00:22:33,265 Truly. We delighted. 407 00:22:33,348 --> 00:22:34,724 - I... - I'm so glad. 408 00:22:34,809 --> 00:22:37,519 Hi, Nita. I'm sorry about that. Yes. This is Taystee. 409 00:22:37,602 --> 00:22:40,772 Put her on speaker. Put her on speaker! 410 00:22:43,125 --> 00:22:46,128 Taystee. It was nice to meet you in person today. 411 00:22:46,153 --> 00:22:48,572 Oh, shit! She bein' all polite. 412 00:22:48,597 --> 00:22:49,807 It sure was. 413 00:22:49,949 --> 00:22:51,450 "It sure was." 414 00:22:51,708 --> 00:22:54,494 I'm so glad that you're enjoying the snacks and the tampons. 415 00:22:54,578 --> 00:22:57,414 I'm calling to discuss the release of the hostages. 416 00:22:57,497 --> 00:22:59,809 How would you and your team like to handle? 417 00:23:01,210 --> 00:23:03,587 What the fuck she say? 418 00:23:03,895 --> 00:23:05,714 I'm sorry. I think I misheard you. 419 00:23:05,797 --> 00:23:08,258 Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe it's my reception. 420 00:23:08,342 --> 00:23:11,929 I said I'm calling to discuss the release of the hostages. 421 00:23:13,388 --> 00:23:15,933 Yes, but what about the rest of our demands? 422 00:23:16,016 --> 00:23:20,354 The governor is fully prepared to do everything he can to meet them, 423 00:23:20,437 --> 00:23:22,647 but we delivered supplies as an act of good faith, 424 00:23:22,731 --> 00:23:26,426 and now we'll need the same from you and the inmates in return. 425 00:23:27,486 --> 00:23:31,115 Yeah, see, I don't see how some snacks equals our hostages. 426 00:23:31,198 --> 00:23:35,410 Miss Jefferson, please don't make the mistake of thinking we're the enemy. 427 00:23:35,494 --> 00:23:37,829 Everyone wants this to end peacefully. 428 00:23:37,913 --> 00:23:39,164 But we need your help. 429 00:23:39,578 --> 00:23:43,624 If you surrender the hostages, we will do our best to meet your demands. 430 00:23:44,317 --> 00:23:46,171 Do you think I'm not smart? 431 00:23:46,255 --> 00:23:49,863 You think I don't hear those trick words, "Do our best," Miss, uh... 432 00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:52,594 - Reddy. - Well, my best friend is gone, Miss Reddy. 433 00:23:52,677 --> 00:23:54,942 So, "Do our best" ain't good enough no more. 434 00:23:56,348 --> 00:23:57,557 "Do our best." 435 00:23:58,475 --> 00:24:00,185 What my defense lawyer told me. 436 00:24:00,269 --> 00:24:03,563 Man, you'd think they'd come up with some better shit by now. 437 00:24:04,398 --> 00:24:05,900 So, where does this leave us? 438 00:24:08,527 --> 00:24:10,112 Right where it dropped us off. 439 00:24:20,455 --> 00:24:21,665 Tasha? 440 00:24:30,299 --> 00:24:31,508 Hello. 441 00:24:34,636 --> 00:24:36,096 You look just like... 442 00:24:36,564 --> 00:24:38,231 It's nice to meet you, Miss Jefferson. 443 00:24:38,316 --> 00:24:40,318 Mia, please. 444 00:24:40,943 --> 00:24:43,696 - You wanna sit? - Oh. 445 00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:46,277 Yeah. Thanks. 446 00:24:48,024 --> 00:24:49,400 Thank you for meeting me. 447 00:24:53,433 --> 00:24:54,977 Why didn't you want me? 448 00:24:56,849 --> 00:24:57,853 Tasha... 449 00:24:57,878 --> 00:24:59,713 It's Taystee now. 450 00:25:03,134 --> 00:25:04,343 I was 15. 451 00:25:05,636 --> 00:25:07,555 I didn't have nothing. 452 00:25:07,638 --> 00:25:10,349 No place to live. No parents. 453 00:25:11,517 --> 00:25:14,854 Just a boyfriend and a tiny room in his nasty aunt's apartment, then... 454 00:25:16,355 --> 00:25:17,523 Then I got pregnant. 455 00:25:18,816 --> 00:25:21,235 She told us she'd kick us both out if we kept it... 456 00:25:22,195 --> 00:25:23,321 You. 457 00:25:24,405 --> 00:25:25,614 Shit. 458 00:25:27,616 --> 00:25:30,744 I sound like one of them bad TV movies on the white lady channel. 459 00:25:31,996 --> 00:25:33,747 - Lifetime. - What? 460 00:25:35,208 --> 00:25:37,460 Channel where all those white ladies be cryin'. 461 00:25:37,543 --> 00:25:38,752 It's Lifetime. 462 00:25:39,670 --> 00:25:42,966 Ain't that also where them crazy parents be dressing up their kids like the... 463 00:25:43,049 --> 00:25:44,758 the dolls you put on top of the toilet paper? 464 00:25:44,842 --> 00:25:47,178 Yeah. Toddlers and Tiaras. 465 00:25:47,261 --> 00:25:48,429 - Yeah. - That's my favorite! 466 00:25:52,558 --> 00:25:54,936 I spent so many hours thinkin' about what you'd look like... 467 00:25:56,854 --> 00:25:58,439 who you grew to be and... 468 00:25:59,648 --> 00:26:00,984 what makes you laugh. 469 00:26:03,069 --> 00:26:04,945 And you, here... 470 00:26:06,697 --> 00:26:08,199 are better than I ever dreamed. 471 00:26:11,077 --> 00:26:13,871 Thank you for giving me a chance. 472 00:26:16,165 --> 00:26:18,167 Thank you for finding me. 473 00:26:19,517 --> 00:26:21,018 Mommy! 474 00:26:21,587 --> 00:26:23,297 Baby, what are you doin' here? 475 00:26:23,381 --> 00:26:25,466 Hey, baby. We headed to the church. 476 00:26:25,549 --> 00:26:27,718 Hopin' to get baby girl some new shoes at the sale. 477 00:26:27,801 --> 00:26:30,013 - Oh... - Who's your friend? 478 00:26:30,638 --> 00:26:32,640 This is Taystee. 479 00:26:32,723 --> 00:26:34,225 Um, you remember Robin? 480 00:26:34,308 --> 00:26:37,061 She used to live over on Troy? This is her girl. 481 00:26:37,145 --> 00:26:39,105 Oh. Right. Hey, Taystee. 482 00:26:39,188 --> 00:26:41,190 Daddy, let's go! 483 00:26:41,274 --> 00:26:43,359 All right, baby. I'll see you at home. 484 00:26:43,442 --> 00:26:45,361 Bye, Mommy! Bye, other lady! 485 00:26:48,918 --> 00:26:50,295 They don't know about me. 486 00:26:51,950 --> 00:26:55,413 They will. I promise. 487 00:26:55,557 --> 00:26:56,891 It's just, I wasn't... 488 00:26:57,831 --> 00:27:00,043 You know, nobody teaches you how to be doin' these things. 489 00:27:00,126 --> 00:27:03,129 And I wanted to meet you first. And reconnect. 490 00:27:06,299 --> 00:27:08,926 I'll do right, okay? 491 00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:12,930 I want you to be family. 492 00:27:22,148 --> 00:27:24,608 Chubby dude, you can cross-examine the witness. 493 00:27:30,590 --> 00:27:34,219 Ladies and gentlemen, a tap dance. 494 00:27:35,578 --> 00:27:37,037 Miss Rice. 495 00:27:37,121 --> 00:27:39,790 Earlier, you stated that your favorite television show is Saved by the Bell. 496 00:27:39,873 --> 00:27:42,085 - Is this correct? - Objectification! 497 00:27:43,252 --> 00:27:45,213 Nope. Sit down. Answer the man's question. 498 00:27:46,922 --> 00:27:48,966 That's correct. Saved by the Bell. 499 00:27:49,049 --> 00:27:51,885 Mmm-hmm. And, uh, what would you say is your favorite episode? 500 00:27:52,224 --> 00:27:56,728 Uh, that's easy. Um, the one where Jessie gets addicted to caffeine pills. 501 00:27:57,141 --> 00:27:58,476 'Cause it's real relatable. 502 00:27:58,559 --> 00:28:00,103 Yes, it's a classic. 503 00:28:00,186 --> 00:28:03,439 Yes. See, Jessie could not handle 504 00:28:03,522 --> 00:28:06,400 the pressure of midterms and her singing group... 505 00:28:07,132 --> 00:28:08,174 could she? 506 00:28:08,324 --> 00:28:11,090 Except, I didn't like how they were, like, you know, 507 00:28:11,115 --> 00:28:13,222 "Drugs are bad. Blah blah blah." 508 00:28:13,246 --> 00:28:16,582 Because I just don't think that that's a good message to be sending to kids. 509 00:28:17,208 --> 00:28:18,291 Hmm. 510 00:28:18,347 --> 00:28:21,267 And what do you think of, say, "Boss Lady"? 511 00:28:23,636 --> 00:28:24,678 You know, 512 00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:26,830 the one where the whole gang is working at the Malibu Sands. 513 00:28:26,855 --> 00:28:29,816 Stacey has to be the boss and nothing goes wrong. 514 00:28:30,941 --> 00:28:34,302 Oh, yeah, that one. 515 00:28:34,506 --> 00:28:37,447 It's funny. So uncomplicated. 516 00:28:37,471 --> 00:28:38,597 Hmm. 517 00:28:40,447 --> 00:28:42,282 Miss Rice. 518 00:28:42,365 --> 00:28:45,160 Would you say that if something is your favorite, 519 00:28:45,243 --> 00:28:46,744 you will have seen every episode? 520 00:28:47,579 --> 00:28:49,789 Of course. 521 00:28:49,872 --> 00:28:51,333 I'm glad we agree on that. 522 00:28:51,416 --> 00:28:54,377 Because I don't know about the rest of the ladies and gentlemen in the court, 523 00:28:54,461 --> 00:28:56,546 but if I say something is my favorite, 524 00:28:56,629 --> 00:28:59,799 you better be damn sure that I have seen every episode multiple times. 525 00:28:59,882 --> 00:29:03,511 And I know that show like the back of my hand. Mmm? 526 00:29:03,595 --> 00:29:05,680 Therefore, you will forgive my confusion 527 00:29:05,763 --> 00:29:09,309 as to why you have not seen episode ten, season three, 528 00:29:09,392 --> 00:29:11,269 where, despite the delightful ending, 529 00:29:11,353 --> 00:29:14,705 which involves the entire gang coming together to help Stacey, 530 00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:17,528 everything goes wrong! 531 00:29:19,801 --> 00:29:21,678 Who is Stacey? 532 00:29:21,824 --> 00:29:24,702 I submit... the witness is a liar. 533 00:29:24,766 --> 00:29:26,017 She is not credible. 534 00:29:26,100 --> 00:29:27,852 And I have no further questions! 535 00:29:27,936 --> 00:29:29,646 Wait a minute! 536 00:29:29,729 --> 00:29:31,742 Wait a minute! 537 00:29:31,767 --> 00:29:33,664 That ain't got nothing to do with anything! 538 00:29:33,733 --> 00:29:36,152 We still saw her give Donuts the gun. 539 00:29:36,235 --> 00:29:38,738 Yes! She is guilty! 540 00:29:38,822 --> 00:29:41,283 Even if Lisa Turtle is my favorite! 541 00:29:41,366 --> 00:29:43,159 - That's crazy. Come on. - She is a liar. 542 00:29:43,242 --> 00:29:44,911 No one likes Lisa Turtle best. 543 00:29:44,994 --> 00:29:47,205 Poo! Poo! Poo! 544 00:29:47,289 --> 00:29:50,208 - Order in the court! Order in the court! - This is ridiculous! 545 00:29:50,292 --> 00:29:51,876 There's got to be a better way. 546 00:30:11,355 --> 00:30:13,732 Holy fuck, am I gonna be famous. 547 00:30:13,815 --> 00:30:16,318 Okay, this shit is fucking bananas. 548 00:30:16,401 --> 00:30:18,945 Aleida? Hi. April. We spoke on the phone. 549 00:30:19,028 --> 00:30:21,406 Let's get you inside. And we'll get you into makeup. 550 00:30:21,490 --> 00:30:23,199 You hear that shit? "Get you into makeup." 551 00:30:24,451 --> 00:30:26,244 Hey, Ape, let me ask you a question. 552 00:30:26,328 --> 00:30:27,871 I get paid for this shit, right? 553 00:30:27,954 --> 00:30:30,624 You think you could give me that grand in cash, up-front? 554 00:30:30,707 --> 00:30:33,126 What? Did someone tell you you were gonna get paid? 555 00:30:33,209 --> 00:30:34,753 We can't pay our guests. It's against... 556 00:30:34,836 --> 00:30:37,797 - I'm just fucking with you, Ape. - Okay. 557 00:30:37,881 --> 00:30:40,049 We're really going to need to get those "fucks" out of your system 558 00:30:40,133 --> 00:30:42,051 before we go live. 559 00:30:42,908 --> 00:30:45,702 You would not believe the cost of an electrical rewire. 560 00:30:45,889 --> 00:30:47,766 Totally astronomical. 561 00:30:47,849 --> 00:30:51,185 So, it's like, uh, do we try to do the work ourselves? 562 00:30:51,269 --> 00:30:53,772 - You know, I bought a book. - You're not an electrician. 563 00:30:53,855 --> 00:30:55,231 Okay, I could try. 564 00:30:55,314 --> 00:30:57,859 And what happens when the whole house goes up in flames, 565 00:30:57,942 --> 00:30:59,444 we're left with nothing, or, God forbid, 566 00:30:59,528 --> 00:31:01,905 you get a shock and cook yourself from the inside out... 567 00:31:01,988 --> 00:31:04,491 Stop. Stop. You're gonna stress out the muffin. 568 00:31:04,574 --> 00:31:07,619 - You're right. - Babe... 569 00:31:11,373 --> 00:31:13,416 So, what you been up to, man? 570 00:31:14,501 --> 00:31:16,461 Wanting to die, mostly. 571 00:31:17,962 --> 00:31:20,382 Oh, careful there. 572 00:31:21,340 --> 00:31:24,553 Your mom can't hear you usin' the D word, understand? 573 00:31:25,261 --> 00:31:27,931 Don't want you bouncin' around a rubber room. 574 00:31:28,598 --> 00:31:30,725 Yeah, that's a rough break you got, man. 575 00:31:30,809 --> 00:31:32,519 But, you know, uh... 576 00:31:33,895 --> 00:31:35,146 it's gonna be fine. 577 00:31:36,699 --> 00:31:38,942 Why does everyone keep saying that to me? 578 00:31:39,025 --> 00:31:41,528 That things are gonna be fine? 579 00:31:42,236 --> 00:31:44,363 How does that work, exactly? 580 00:31:45,093 --> 00:31:46,637 Is there a, uh... 581 00:31:46,908 --> 00:31:52,914 a magic wand or some type of special God who loves homicidal white guys? 582 00:31:54,916 --> 00:31:56,125 It's not gonna be fine. 583 00:31:57,210 --> 00:32:02,048 The whole point of life is waiting to see what comes next, but... 584 00:32:03,197 --> 00:32:05,617 I already know exactly how mine's gonna go. 585 00:32:07,470 --> 00:32:08,638 So what's the point? 586 00:32:10,098 --> 00:32:11,182 I should die. 587 00:32:17,481 --> 00:32:20,108 - Run? - Mmm-hmm. Run. 588 00:32:20,191 --> 00:32:24,320 As fast as you can, until you feel like your lungs is about to collapse. 589 00:32:24,404 --> 00:32:28,741 Until you can't think about nothing but how tired your legs are. 590 00:32:29,408 --> 00:32:30,994 I think I'm still drunk. 591 00:32:31,077 --> 00:32:33,163 You won't be after this. 592 00:32:33,997 --> 00:32:36,040 Come on. 593 00:32:36,124 --> 00:32:38,627 Hey! We gonna need your snacks. 594 00:32:38,710 --> 00:32:40,754 Oh, you see how you just say, "yours"? 595 00:32:40,837 --> 00:32:42,380 As in, belonging to us? 596 00:32:42,464 --> 00:32:44,232 It's important. 597 00:32:44,334 --> 00:32:45,670 You're, like, what, the snack police? 598 00:32:45,753 --> 00:32:47,386 Yo, they were a bribe. 599 00:32:47,418 --> 00:32:50,238 Mr. Fancy-Pants Governor thought he would trick us into surrendering 600 00:32:50,269 --> 00:32:52,397 - with snacks and tampons. - Mmm-hmm. 601 00:32:52,543 --> 00:32:54,252 They trying to plug all our holes. 602 00:32:54,336 --> 00:32:56,547 - So you're throwing them away? - That's a great plan. 603 00:32:56,630 --> 00:32:58,215 We gotta show 'em we serious. 604 00:32:58,298 --> 00:33:00,217 - That's badass. - No, it's stupid. 605 00:33:00,300 --> 00:33:02,511 Yeah. Don't... don't we want this to end? 606 00:33:02,595 --> 00:33:05,180 - We want justice. - Well, you want justice. 607 00:33:05,263 --> 00:33:07,516 We want to go home to our families at some point. 608 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,561 Well, some of us ain't got a home outside. 609 00:33:10,644 --> 00:33:12,563 This is my home, and I'm gonna fight for it. 610 00:33:13,271 --> 00:33:15,983 Do you think that they would be doing this to us if we were men? 611 00:33:16,673 --> 00:33:17,892 This is so insulting. 612 00:33:17,917 --> 00:33:19,610 - Exactly. - Here we go. 613 00:33:19,658 --> 00:33:21,087 - What? - There she goes. 614 00:33:21,130 --> 00:33:22,901 I'm done sitting out there and sunbathing. 615 00:33:22,926 --> 00:33:24,490 I mean, we've all done the hard part. 616 00:33:24,622 --> 00:33:27,773 That's what I'm saying. All we gotta do is wait 'em out. 617 00:33:27,801 --> 00:33:29,010 We owe this to ourselves. 618 00:33:29,251 --> 00:33:30,878 That's right. 619 00:33:37,092 --> 00:33:38,176 How can I help? 620 00:33:38,260 --> 00:33:39,886 You can collect. 621 00:33:40,094 --> 00:33:41,303 But people ain't gonna like you. 622 00:33:42,139 --> 00:33:43,306 Story of my life. 623 00:33:44,231 --> 00:33:46,651 - Gimme these goddamn... - Yo! I just opened that shit, man! 624 00:33:46,930 --> 00:33:50,225 We need all y'all motherfucking Cheetos. Give 'em up. 625 00:34:58,653 --> 00:35:00,696 - Sixty seconds. - Almost finished? 626 00:35:00,735 --> 00:35:02,094 Well, if what's-her-face 627 00:35:02,119 --> 00:35:04,095 stopped using words like, "subtle" and "dewy," 628 00:35:04,154 --> 00:35:05,906 we could've finished yesterday. 629 00:35:06,991 --> 00:35:09,076 You look gorgeous. 630 00:35:09,159 --> 00:35:10,369 Thank you. 631 00:35:10,452 --> 00:35:13,288 All right. Good luck! Make your answers real long. 632 00:35:13,372 --> 00:35:14,582 You'll sound smarter that way. 633 00:35:14,665 --> 00:35:17,084 And turn your right side to the camera. That's your pretty side. 634 00:35:17,174 --> 00:35:19,260 And use the news guy's name a lot. 635 00:35:19,343 --> 00:35:22,293 Ooh, ooh! And always answer a question with another question. 636 00:35:22,365 --> 00:35:23,658 - Ooh. - Fifteen seconds. 637 00:35:23,683 --> 00:35:25,824 Look, do me a favor and don't get me fired, okay? 638 00:35:25,849 --> 00:35:27,652 Fired? I'm gonna get your ass a promotion. 639 00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:30,931 Aleida, this is Susan. She'll be interviewing you today. 640 00:35:31,015 --> 00:35:34,393 - Air in five, four, three, two... - Hello. 641 00:35:35,686 --> 00:35:38,522 Welcome back to New York Metro, where we're continuing to track 642 00:35:38,606 --> 00:35:41,651 the developing situation at Litchfield Federal Prison. 643 00:35:41,837 --> 00:35:46,130 Joining us today is Aleida Diaz, a former inmate at Litchfield. 644 00:35:46,264 --> 00:35:49,809 Miss Diaz, I understand you were very recently released. 645 00:35:50,701 --> 00:35:52,244 Was I recently released? 646 00:35:55,122 --> 00:35:56,624 I'm not sure what you mean. 647 00:35:56,707 --> 00:35:58,125 Exactly, Susie-Q. 648 00:35:59,306 --> 00:36:00,432 It's Susan. 649 00:36:00,642 --> 00:36:05,298 Have you had any contact with anyone at Litchfield since this situation arose? 650 00:36:05,374 --> 00:36:07,418 Do you... do you still have friends inside? 651 00:36:08,845 --> 00:36:11,138 Yeah. I... And I talked to them. 652 00:36:11,401 --> 00:36:12,527 Are they okay? 653 00:36:13,502 --> 00:36:15,963 Well, it's hard to get answers from those bitches, you know? 654 00:36:16,039 --> 00:36:18,582 - Oh. Sorry. Can I say "bitches"? - You can. 655 00:36:18,730 --> 00:36:20,356 - Well, shit. - Oh, you can't say that. 656 00:36:20,439 --> 00:36:22,900 What kind of fucking bullshit rule is that? 657 00:36:22,984 --> 00:36:24,110 Okay. 658 00:36:24,944 --> 00:36:27,571 What do you think she's doing, right now? 659 00:36:28,823 --> 00:36:32,785 Probably sitting on her veranda, 660 00:36:32,868 --> 00:36:37,164 being served some kind of garden fresh salad 661 00:36:37,411 --> 00:36:40,581 with walnuts and goat cheese. 662 00:36:40,870 --> 00:36:46,876 Maybe it's accompanied by some sort of tropical iced green tea. 663 00:36:47,219 --> 00:36:48,553 Goat cheese. 664 00:36:49,279 --> 00:36:50,572 That's so Judy. 665 00:36:51,220 --> 00:36:53,765 She probably knows the goat it came from. 666 00:36:54,711 --> 00:36:56,587 You think she liked us? 667 00:36:57,499 --> 00:36:58,561 Maybe. 668 00:36:58,999 --> 00:37:01,335 Before we kidnapped her and nailed her to a cross. 669 00:37:01,597 --> 00:37:02,806 Yeah. 670 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,360 Hand over all your Cheetos and Takis. Now. 671 00:37:06,443 --> 00:37:08,905 Ooh, Chapman coming in hot! 672 00:37:09,475 --> 00:37:10,476 We didn't get any. 673 00:37:10,501 --> 00:37:12,629 Let's go. Hand 'em over. 674 00:37:12,762 --> 00:37:16,015 We have no idea what you're talking about. 675 00:37:16,162 --> 00:37:18,164 - You are a liar. - Mmm-hmm. 676 00:37:18,223 --> 00:37:20,600 Anyone ever tell you about the catching bees with honey thing? 677 00:37:20,707 --> 00:37:23,460 - It's important to draw a hard line. - The line was, like, 100 feet back. 678 00:37:23,544 --> 00:37:26,282 - Check her fingers. - Perfect. 679 00:37:26,381 --> 00:37:30,135 'Cause you know what was on my agenda today? Molest an old lady. 680 00:37:30,968 --> 00:37:32,136 Fine. 681 00:37:33,374 --> 00:37:34,625 I'll do it. 682 00:37:36,377 --> 00:37:37,754 Let me see your fingers. 683 00:37:40,143 --> 00:37:42,020 Let me see your... Let me see your finger. 684 00:37:42,604 --> 00:37:44,064 Let me see your fingers. 685 00:37:45,565 --> 00:37:47,609 See? 686 00:37:48,276 --> 00:37:51,864 Holy shit. Nancy Drew done uncovered a suspect. 687 00:37:51,923 --> 00:37:53,883 - Let's search 'em. - Now, hold on a second. 688 00:37:53,991 --> 00:37:58,996 You don't have the right to go through our things like that. But... 689 00:38:00,372 --> 00:38:03,125 - Gotcha. - So much for respecting your elders! 690 00:38:03,598 --> 00:38:05,433 Yeah. 691 00:38:06,506 --> 00:38:07,882 Psst. 692 00:38:08,505 --> 00:38:09,589 Psst! 693 00:38:20,558 --> 00:38:22,728 - You gonna miss me? - Nah. 694 00:38:22,968 --> 00:38:26,388 You just jealous 'cause I got a family and you don't. 695 00:38:27,733 --> 00:38:29,567 Family ain't got nothing to do with it. 696 00:38:30,235 --> 00:38:32,070 You think these people gonna like you? 697 00:38:33,613 --> 00:38:36,408 They sitting at home, having themselves a nice little life, 698 00:38:36,491 --> 00:38:40,162 and then some hood rat gonna move in and shit's gonna be like the Cosbys? 699 00:38:40,871 --> 00:38:42,831 Girl, you trippin'. 700 00:38:44,041 --> 00:38:45,292 Well... 701 00:38:46,780 --> 00:38:49,992 I hope one day you find your family, same as me. 702 00:39:02,267 --> 00:39:05,145 I told y'all! 703 00:39:10,358 --> 00:39:11,443 Don't mind them. 704 00:39:14,487 --> 00:39:16,364 Yo, where should I put this? In the back? 705 00:39:16,448 --> 00:39:17,783 Taystee... 706 00:39:19,526 --> 00:39:20,569 I'm so sorry. 707 00:39:22,913 --> 00:39:24,414 You... you can't come live with us. 708 00:39:27,292 --> 00:39:28,376 Wait... 709 00:39:29,294 --> 00:39:31,129 Why? Ms. Tendler said that you... 710 00:39:31,213 --> 00:39:32,630 I'm... 711 00:39:32,714 --> 00:39:35,175 I don't think she understood what I was trying to tell her. 712 00:39:35,258 --> 00:39:36,634 Why can't I come? 713 00:39:36,952 --> 00:39:38,620 It's just not a good time for us. 714 00:39:39,596 --> 00:39:40,806 Us. 715 00:39:42,390 --> 00:39:44,810 - Right. - Uh, look. 716 00:39:44,893 --> 00:39:46,478 I want you to take this. 717 00:39:47,570 --> 00:39:49,697 It's not much, but I want to help you. 718 00:39:51,379 --> 00:39:54,590 Did you tell them... about me? 719 00:39:58,490 --> 00:40:01,284 Guess this is you doin' right, huh? 720 00:40:01,368 --> 00:40:02,452 What's right for you! 721 00:40:04,787 --> 00:40:08,791 - Maybe I need to start doin' that, too. - Please, Taystee, wait! 722 00:40:18,578 --> 00:40:19,970 All right. Now I have a question. 723 00:40:20,053 --> 00:40:23,390 How many of y'all took the stands at your all's trials? Raise your hand. 724 00:40:25,767 --> 00:40:29,104 Wow! Ain't that some bull? Well, neither did I. 725 00:40:29,187 --> 00:40:32,024 'Cause my lawyer told me that I was a detriment to myself. 726 00:40:32,107 --> 00:40:34,276 Now, at the time, I didn't take offense, 727 00:40:34,359 --> 00:40:36,987 because I was rather high most of the time. 728 00:40:37,070 --> 00:40:39,364 And you know my brain wires weren't firing correctly, 729 00:40:39,447 --> 00:40:40,698 if you know what I mean. 730 00:40:41,499 --> 00:40:44,920 But today, I'm standing here, right, and I'm looking around at all of y'all. 731 00:40:45,245 --> 00:40:47,915 And I'm thinking... we can do better. 732 00:40:47,998 --> 00:40:50,542 Know what? Fuck that. We have to do better than this. 733 00:40:50,625 --> 00:40:53,086 But you know what? It really needs to be fair. 734 00:40:53,170 --> 00:40:56,214 Without all the goobly-goop of lawyers and judges and the system and stuff. 735 00:40:56,298 --> 00:40:58,008 - Hmm. - Right? 736 00:40:58,508 --> 00:40:59,842 So, listen... 737 00:41:00,928 --> 00:41:02,179 I helped Donuts escape. 738 00:41:02,262 --> 00:41:03,721 What? Oh, Jesus! 739 00:41:03,805 --> 00:41:05,390 Oh, please. 740 00:41:05,473 --> 00:41:07,142 I strongly suggest you shut the fuck up, girl. 741 00:41:07,225 --> 00:41:09,803 No. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. 742 00:41:10,037 --> 00:41:12,940 Listen, my friend here, she's worried that I'm gonna say too much. 743 00:41:13,023 --> 00:41:14,732 But all I can say is the truth. 744 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:16,443 And the truth is 745 00:41:16,526 --> 00:41:18,361 - I helped the guard escape. - Oh, fuck. 746 00:41:19,529 --> 00:41:22,740 And, yeah, we had a relationship that was difficult to define. 747 00:41:22,824 --> 00:41:24,492 It was even confusing at times. 748 00:41:24,576 --> 00:41:26,916 But... let me ask y'all. 749 00:41:26,941 --> 00:41:28,360 What would y'all have done if you would've found him? 750 00:41:28,443 --> 00:41:30,253 - Cut off his balls. - Murdered him. 751 00:41:30,277 --> 00:41:31,862 Poo! Poo! 752 00:41:31,946 --> 00:41:34,198 Realistically, we would have roughed him up a little, you know. 753 00:41:34,747 --> 00:41:36,040 Just poked some shit up his ass, 754 00:41:36,123 --> 00:41:38,262 and then we would've stuck him in the bubble with the rest of them. 755 00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:40,926 What's the point? And then what? 756 00:41:40,973 --> 00:41:43,308 So you'd have another hostage. Whee! 757 00:41:44,059 --> 00:41:46,353 And then, another strike on your record. 758 00:41:46,436 --> 00:41:47,562 You know what you'd be doing, actually? 759 00:41:47,646 --> 00:41:49,148 You'd be staring down the barrel of forever 760 00:41:49,231 --> 00:41:50,640 is what you'd be doing up in here. 761 00:41:50,665 --> 00:41:52,292 This is bullshit! 762 00:41:52,567 --> 00:41:55,362 She's not thinking about us. She was protecting her boyfriend. 763 00:41:55,445 --> 00:41:56,946 No, it's not true. Come on. Hey! 764 00:41:57,031 --> 00:42:00,367 Listen, all I can do is stand up here and tell you how I feel, all right? 765 00:42:00,450 --> 00:42:02,411 I'm a person. I'm talking to people. 766 00:42:03,328 --> 00:42:04,454 Okay? 767 00:42:04,751 --> 00:42:06,610 I'm just gonna leave you all to it. How about that? 768 00:42:06,658 --> 00:42:07,659 And if y'all think that I deserve 769 00:42:07,874 --> 00:42:10,127 to be thrown up in the poo-poo or whatever, then fine. 770 00:42:10,210 --> 00:42:12,063 That makes you no better than them. 771 00:42:12,145 --> 00:42:14,147 You know, that's really sad, because they suck. 772 00:42:15,340 --> 00:42:18,760 We had the chance to rule hard up in here. Y'all don't wanna rule? 773 00:42:22,848 --> 00:42:24,182 All right. 774 00:42:51,085 --> 00:42:53,087 Hey. Uh... 775 00:42:53,170 --> 00:42:55,214 - I thought I'd tell you something. - Uh-huh. 776 00:42:57,174 --> 00:42:58,967 Ah! Let me guess. 777 00:43:00,177 --> 00:43:05,014 Uh, you regret that your clit was vibrating on my tongue 45 minutes ago, 778 00:43:05,099 --> 00:43:06,766 we can never do this again. 779 00:43:06,850 --> 00:43:08,807 Uh, you made a vow, 780 00:43:08,832 --> 00:43:10,937 you need to commit to Vinnie, something like that? 781 00:43:11,020 --> 00:43:12,957 Right? I mean, I get it. 782 00:43:13,843 --> 00:43:15,179 I memorized it. 783 00:43:16,610 --> 00:43:18,352 You can save it. 784 00:43:18,446 --> 00:43:19,781 No. 785 00:43:21,615 --> 00:43:22,949 I'm pregnant. 786 00:43:25,162 --> 00:43:29,208 That is a twist I was not expecting. 787 00:43:30,394 --> 00:43:32,479 I realized when... when we was... 788 00:43:32,563 --> 00:43:34,690 I was looking down at you, and then I saw, 789 00:43:34,773 --> 00:43:37,193 "Oh! Oh, my nipples are, like, 790 00:43:37,276 --> 00:43:40,589 two, three shades darker than they normally are." 791 00:43:41,113 --> 00:43:43,449 And, that's, like, a thing for the Morello women 792 00:43:43,532 --> 00:43:45,159 when we've got the bun in the oven. 793 00:43:50,168 --> 00:43:51,504 That's great. Uh... 794 00:43:51,998 --> 00:43:55,711 - Did you take a pregnancy test? - Nope. No. 795 00:43:55,958 --> 00:43:58,753 No, I don't need a test. I... I know. 796 00:43:59,673 --> 00:44:01,883 And that is why I've been so horny. 797 00:44:02,209 --> 00:44:03,461 Ah! 798 00:44:05,762 --> 00:44:07,598 Oh, fuck! 799 00:44:07,681 --> 00:44:10,684 Why are you laughing? No. No, no, no. I'm... I'm... 800 00:44:10,767 --> 00:44:13,354 This is not funny. I'm serious. 801 00:44:13,437 --> 00:44:16,232 Oh, yes. I know you're serious. I know, baby. 802 00:44:16,315 --> 00:44:19,901 And that is the problem. Because you are also bat-shit crazy. 803 00:44:30,787 --> 00:44:33,415 I didn't mean to lead you on, honey. 804 00:44:33,499 --> 00:44:34,958 It's the hormones. 805 00:44:35,041 --> 00:44:37,669 The hormones, they made me do it with you. 806 00:44:41,673 --> 00:44:44,426 I love you so much, Lorna. 807 00:44:46,052 --> 00:44:47,304 But, you know... 808 00:44:49,057 --> 00:44:52,601 you can't just, like, uh, keep doing whatever the fuck you want 809 00:44:52,684 --> 00:44:54,520 and then thinking it's gonna be okay. 810 00:44:56,062 --> 00:44:58,440 And the days of this, uh... 811 00:44:58,524 --> 00:45:01,777 crazy being quirky and cute... 812 00:45:01,860 --> 00:45:04,446 it's past. It's sad, you know? 813 00:45:04,530 --> 00:45:06,740 I mean, you need help, and I can't help you, 814 00:45:06,823 --> 00:45:08,159 'cause I need to help myself. 815 00:45:08,242 --> 00:45:11,495 Or maybe, uh, what if you go see the prison therapist, right? 816 00:45:11,578 --> 00:45:13,038 See what she has to say about it. 817 00:45:13,121 --> 00:45:14,998 I'm pretty sure she's gonna tell me... 818 00:45:15,081 --> 00:45:17,918 She's gonna call me a dumbass 819 00:45:18,001 --> 00:45:20,045 sucker crazy person for letting myself do this again. 820 00:45:20,128 --> 00:45:21,755 And then tell me 821 00:45:21,838 --> 00:45:26,427 to never, ever, ever do this again, right? 822 00:45:26,935 --> 00:45:29,903 And this time, I'm gonna listen to her... 823 00:45:29,942 --> 00:45:32,236 'cause she's the expert, right? 824 00:45:38,242 --> 00:45:40,412 It's too late. 825 00:45:40,495 --> 00:45:42,246 I drank, like, eight bottles, okay. 826 00:45:42,330 --> 00:45:45,500 I'm sorry for being such a fuckup. 827 00:45:45,583 --> 00:45:47,752 I love you guys so much. 828 00:45:50,061 --> 00:45:51,688 Dye is nontoxic. 829 00:45:52,549 --> 00:45:53,591 What? 830 00:45:53,675 --> 00:45:56,440 I mean, you'll probably have bad squirts for a couple days. 831 00:45:56,523 --> 00:45:59,860 And I have some of those wet nappies in the bathroom, if you need them. 832 00:46:00,014 --> 00:46:01,516 Oh, man. 833 00:46:02,446 --> 00:46:04,030 I can't even kill myself right. 834 00:46:04,185 --> 00:46:07,397 Honey, your dad and me... 835 00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:09,649 we think you need some real help. 836 00:46:10,567 --> 00:46:12,652 You think so? 837 00:46:12,735 --> 00:46:15,655 Yeah! I do. Of course I fucking do! 838 00:46:15,738 --> 00:46:18,700 All right, I got myself arrested. 839 00:46:18,783 --> 00:46:21,578 I have been begging to die. 840 00:46:22,189 --> 00:46:24,066 And all you guys want to say is, 841 00:46:24,205 --> 00:46:26,958 "Things will be fine," and, "Life's complicated." 842 00:46:27,009 --> 00:46:28,177 Finally! 843 00:46:28,668 --> 00:46:31,170 Make sure they lock me up somewhere for a very long time. 844 00:46:31,253 --> 00:46:32,505 Please! 845 00:46:47,019 --> 00:46:48,355 This is the spot? 846 00:46:48,438 --> 00:46:50,147 What the hell is going on here? 847 00:46:50,231 --> 00:46:51,441 Beats us. 848 00:46:56,195 --> 00:46:59,699 Well, don't dawdle out there. Come in, come in. 849 00:47:18,593 --> 00:47:20,762 You did this all yourself? 850 00:47:21,118 --> 00:47:22,286 Sure did. 851 00:47:22,568 --> 00:47:25,111 Wow. So you're like one of those mole people 852 00:47:25,136 --> 00:47:28,056 that they do special news reports and horror movies about? 853 00:47:28,853 --> 00:47:30,730 Yeah, we prefer "survivalist." 854 00:47:30,813 --> 00:47:32,148 Don't insult the woman. 855 00:47:33,009 --> 00:47:35,261 This is, uh, really great, Frieda. 856 00:47:35,846 --> 00:47:37,306 Thanks for showing us. 857 00:47:37,594 --> 00:47:39,891 But I probably should be getting back upstairs and, uh... 858 00:47:39,975 --> 00:47:41,935 No. We're gonna stay here. 859 00:47:42,096 --> 00:47:43,264 All of us. 860 00:47:43,770 --> 00:47:45,939 I guess this is how it ends. 861 00:47:46,022 --> 00:47:49,776 Well, this is your chance to retire from all that nonsense out there. 862 00:47:50,096 --> 00:47:52,863 Ain't you tired of dealing with numbskulls? 863 00:47:53,146 --> 00:47:55,156 Fighting for food? 864 00:47:55,240 --> 00:48:00,203 Trying to find a minute of quiet without someone squawking in your ear? 865 00:48:01,121 --> 00:48:03,707 Don't you feel taken for granted? 866 00:48:05,813 --> 00:48:08,774 I got enough supplies down here for all of us. 867 00:48:10,670 --> 00:48:13,632 It's, maybe, a little cramped? 868 00:48:14,051 --> 00:48:15,052 Huh. 869 00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:17,220 "Thank you, Frieda." 870 00:48:17,303 --> 00:48:20,724 "Gee, this is awful nice of you, Frieda." 871 00:48:29,525 --> 00:48:31,902 Come on. You don't need to be scared. 872 00:48:31,985 --> 00:48:33,529 I bet that's what they tell the cows 873 00:48:33,612 --> 00:48:35,614 right before they send them down the chute. 874 00:48:52,506 --> 00:48:53,757 This could work. 875 00:48:58,011 --> 00:49:00,764 This is amazing, Frieda! 876 00:49:01,713 --> 00:49:03,298 I got dibs on shuffleboard. 877 00:49:03,919 --> 00:49:05,755 Does this thing have Frogger? 878 00:49:10,350 --> 00:49:12,352 Watch out for the cords there. 879 00:49:20,492 --> 00:49:21,910 What the hell were you thinking? 880 00:49:22,237 --> 00:49:23,864 Aren't you tired of asking me that question? 881 00:49:23,948 --> 00:49:25,908 'Cause I sure as shit am tired of answering it. 882 00:49:25,932 --> 00:49:27,559 Yeah. Well, they're gonna crucify you. 883 00:49:27,643 --> 00:49:30,937 - So? It'll only take a few hours. - What? 884 00:49:32,022 --> 00:49:35,526 What? This... this is all gonna be over soon. 885 00:49:35,609 --> 00:49:37,235 Okay, let 'em throw me in the Poo. 886 00:49:37,318 --> 00:49:39,320 It's all gonna go back to the way it was, anyhow. 887 00:49:39,356 --> 00:49:40,566 None of this is for long. 888 00:49:42,824 --> 00:49:44,618 You know, you really freak me out when you're smart. 889 00:49:44,701 --> 00:49:46,327 Yeah, well, you and me, both, okay? 890 00:49:46,411 --> 00:49:50,165 I just thank Jesus that my brain wires are connecting today. 891 00:49:53,941 --> 00:49:55,651 Oh. 892 00:49:55,837 --> 00:49:56,922 We have our verdict. 893 00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:06,640 We discussed your case... 894 00:50:06,699 --> 00:50:09,618 came up with something that's almost unanimous. 895 00:50:11,133 --> 00:50:13,595 So, Tiffany Doggett... 896 00:50:14,195 --> 00:50:16,905 for crimes against our community, we assign you... 897 00:50:18,205 --> 00:50:19,874 - community service. - Yes. 898 00:50:20,503 --> 00:50:23,860 Next step is we'll sit down, talk about your skills, 899 00:50:23,926 --> 00:50:26,763 and figure out how you can best contribute to your community. 900 00:50:28,517 --> 00:50:31,270 We'll just be people, talking. 901 00:50:31,794 --> 00:50:33,337 - Like you said. - Bullshit. 902 00:50:33,843 --> 00:50:38,140 We don't all agree, but so long as we're all in here doing this thing, 903 00:50:38,165 --> 00:50:42,483 we think that our justice system should focus on rehabilitation. Yeah? 904 00:50:42,546 --> 00:50:45,006 One crime should not define a person. 905 00:50:45,268 --> 00:50:47,843 Thank you. Yeah. I'm gonna make you guys so proud. 906 00:50:47,874 --> 00:50:48,917 You'll see. 907 00:50:49,510 --> 00:50:51,671 Poo! Poo! Poo! 908 00:50:51,793 --> 00:50:53,462 Does she have a reset button? 909 00:50:57,727 --> 00:50:59,688 It's like watching the most predictable movie. 910 00:51:00,772 --> 00:51:02,857 At least I'm doing something. 911 00:51:03,073 --> 00:51:05,742 Plus, I'm probably gonna get pretty toned in the process. 912 00:51:06,778 --> 00:51:09,781 Goodbye, honey! Have a good day at work! You're a ridiculous human! 913 00:51:09,864 --> 00:51:12,617 Man, these bitches are fucking us over so hard. 914 00:51:12,972 --> 00:51:16,225 I know, right? What am I gonna do when I have a snack attack or my period? 915 00:51:16,283 --> 00:51:20,120 I can respect the moral code, but being that blindly committed... 916 00:51:21,082 --> 00:51:22,583 that's when shit gets dangerous. 917 00:51:24,483 --> 00:51:25,997 Okay, 10 minutes. 918 00:51:26,022 --> 00:51:27,482 India was my favorite section 919 00:51:27,615 --> 00:51:29,743 because it kind of reminded me of being in here, you know, 920 00:51:30,030 --> 00:51:31,615 being forced to deprive yourself and stuff. 921 00:51:31,698 --> 00:51:34,042 Yeah. No, it was like Weight Watchers, 922 00:51:34,112 --> 00:51:36,322 but with, like, more cows and less point counting. 923 00:51:36,445 --> 00:51:39,034 Prison's like free Weight Watchers. I've lost, like, at least five pounds. 924 00:51:39,059 --> 00:51:41,645 Like I haven't noticed. Those khakis are falling off of you. 925 00:51:41,968 --> 00:51:42,969 Thank you. 926 00:51:42,994 --> 00:51:45,830 - But now I'm hungry. - Oh, my God, I'm starving. 927 00:51:46,216 --> 00:51:48,634 - Commissary ice cream? - Fuck to the yes. 928 00:51:48,718 --> 00:51:50,720 Be all notified of gate time. 929 00:51:51,684 --> 00:51:55,646 "Amanda, I will not stop until my ass is so small" 930 00:51:55,684 --> 00:51:57,226 it disappears entirely. 931 00:51:57,310 --> 00:52:00,689 You heard about this new diet where you eat cookies and ice cream, 932 00:52:00,772 --> 00:52:02,231 and you still lose weight? 933 00:52:02,315 --> 00:52:04,067 "Ooh! It's called bulimia." 934 00:52:04,150 --> 00:52:05,652 "And, oh!" 935 00:52:05,735 --> 00:52:08,071 "I love it so much. It's a miracle." 936 00:52:09,781 --> 00:52:13,201 "Oh, Mackenzie, I have always been jealous of your willpower." 937 00:52:13,284 --> 00:52:14,994 I'm like a house ever since Mark 938 00:52:15,078 --> 00:52:18,615 invested in that new modern American bistro up the street. 939 00:52:18,811 --> 00:52:21,115 You would die for their artisanal sodas. 940 00:52:21,163 --> 00:52:25,167 "Peach, lavender, rose petal. Yes, please!" 941 00:52:26,210 --> 00:52:27,461 'Sup, Amanda? 942 00:52:27,961 --> 00:52:29,077 Mackenzie. 943 00:52:29,379 --> 00:52:32,320 - When'd you get in? - Yesterday. 944 00:52:32,429 --> 00:52:36,016 Well, you've got good taste in books, so you're all right with me. 945 00:52:38,111 --> 00:52:40,321 - Taystee. - Poussey. 946 00:52:40,536 --> 00:52:44,374 Your mama did not name you Pussy. 947 00:52:44,536 --> 00:52:46,221 Yo. For real? 948 00:52:46,246 --> 00:52:49,625 I mean, you all new and talking shit with a name like Taystee? 949 00:52:49,917 --> 00:52:52,962 That's fair. My bad. 950 00:52:53,578 --> 00:52:55,872 Look, you let me know if you need anything in here, okay? 951 00:52:56,090 --> 00:52:59,384 Okay. I will. Thanks. 952 00:52:59,436 --> 00:53:02,272 And, um, you can take Alice for now. 953 00:53:02,297 --> 00:53:04,091 'Cause she's good at keepin' folks company. 954 00:53:04,375 --> 00:53:05,418 She's my favorite. 955 00:53:05,611 --> 00:53:07,155 So I'm gonna need that shit back eventually. 956 00:53:08,345 --> 00:53:09,555 Deal. 957 00:53:11,313 --> 00:53:12,522 Yeah. 958 00:53:14,483 --> 00:53:16,401 Welcome to prison. 959 00:53:19,154 --> 00:53:20,572 Right, hold on. They're coming back. 960 00:53:20,655 --> 00:53:22,574 - Get this on tape, huh! - Y'all wanna bribe? 961 00:53:22,657 --> 00:53:24,409 Get this on tape! 962 00:53:24,493 --> 00:53:25,995 Anybody want some chips? 963 00:53:27,955 --> 00:53:29,748 I think that's all of 'em. 964 00:53:29,831 --> 00:53:31,375 Only minus the snacks in bellies. 965 00:53:31,458 --> 00:53:33,002 And tampons in vaginas. 966 00:53:33,085 --> 00:53:35,004 Okay. We're good to go. 967 00:53:35,029 --> 00:53:36,488 Yo, what the hell! 968 00:53:37,756 --> 00:53:39,091 We burning the bribe. 969 00:53:39,174 --> 00:53:42,094 Oh, fuck, yeah. Yo, that's what I'm talking about, T. 970 00:53:43,269 --> 00:53:44,270 Uh-huh. 971 00:53:46,015 --> 00:53:47,224 Call her. 972 00:53:49,478 --> 00:53:52,439 Hi, Nita. Welcome to the party. 973 00:53:53,822 --> 00:53:55,157 What are you doing? 974 00:53:55,187 --> 00:53:56,939 Flaming Cheetos, y'all! 975 00:53:57,022 --> 00:53:59,066 Hey, T, tell this woman what we want. 976 00:53:59,149 --> 00:54:01,977 We want to be motherfuckin' taken serious! 977 00:54:02,008 --> 00:54:03,211 - Hell, yeah! - That's right! 978 00:54:03,236 --> 00:54:04,737 Bye, Nita! 979 00:54:04,790 --> 00:54:06,375 Bye, girl! Bye! 980 00:54:07,483 --> 00:54:09,068 All right. Back up. Back up! 981 00:54:09,152 --> 00:54:11,612 Whoa! Shit! 982 00:54:12,078 --> 00:54:13,997 Burn, bitch, burn! 983 00:54:14,135 --> 00:54:16,346 Fuck you, Piscatella! Yeah! 984 00:54:16,422 --> 00:54:17,966 What you got to say now? 985 00:54:35,555 --> 00:54:40,555 Synced & corrected by PopcornAWH = www.addic7ed.com = 73989

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