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1
00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:18,412
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
2
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:22,374
Now, you'll want to pick the
gayest handkerchief you can find,
3
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,750
since this will serve
as your doll's head.
4
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:29,089
Uh, I'll choose apple-blossom
pink for my demonstration.
5
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,924
I'm gonna give my doll
bangs like Debbie Reynolds.
6
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,468
My mom says I can't
watch her movies anymore,
7
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:38,680
now that she gave her
lady gift to Eddie Fisher.
8
00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:41,391
- What does that mean?
- It's some kind of flower.
9
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:44,227
This may not look as tricky
as the Indian Lore badge
10
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:45,729
or the Backyard Chef badge,
11
00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:49,860
but the Hobby Fun badge has
eluded many a sloppy girl.
12
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,235
Did you hear that, Frieda?
13
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,738
Finally a badge you won't get.
14
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,447
You calling me sloppy?
15
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,825
And smelly. Also smelly.
16
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,467
It's the beaver musk
I put around my neck.
17
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,663
Well, it smells like a monkey butt.
18
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:06,291
Technically, it does
come from the anal glands,
19
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,919
which makes it very helpful
when you want to attract deer.
20
00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:12,088
"Attract deer"? Are
you gonna marry them?
21
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,466
I'm gonna shoot 'em.
22
00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:18,055
You were right. She is
an alien from outer space.
23
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,432
Do you know the Nature Scout motto?
24
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,559
"Ready for any and all things."
25
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,186
Do you know what it means?
26
00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:30,023
What if your mom went away one day and
there were no more finger sandwiches?
27
00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:33,359
What if the sky went dark
and all the crops died?
28
00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:35,551
Would you know which
plants were safe to eat
29
00:02:35,554 --> 00:02:37,619
and which ones will make
you vomit till you're dead?
30
00:02:37,622 --> 00:02:41,660
Could you kill an animal and clean
it without cutting the intestines?
31
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:46,041
Could you take its skin and
salt it and tan it to keep warm?
32
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:51,962
Or would you sit in the corner
with your doll and wait to die?
33
00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,885
I'll take a piece of that green
gingham over there, thank you.
34
00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:25,829
Uh, hello? Hello?
35
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,748
- Anybody there?
- Maybe it's broken.
36
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:31,209
Hey, uh, if you're a guard, buzz twice.
37
00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:35,088
Not a good sign.
38
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,090
The one who kicked me
in the vag is kinda cute.
39
00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,967
Good Aryan stock.
40
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:42,512
You can't tell by looking. I met a
Jew once, nose like a Kewpie doll.
41
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:45,348
And the crotch kicker's
mine. You get the bald one.
42
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,601
But I called him.
43
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,103
Hair likes hair, bald likes bald.
44
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,480
Why do you think Cali
skins don't fuck Idaho Klan?
45
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,401
- No mixing.
- Both.
46
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:56,569
What?
47
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,820
All for Helen.
48
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,739
News flash, ladies.
49
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,908
Those boys don't wanna fuck any of you.
50
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,035
They don't see you as women.
51
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:07,397
Look, the garden gnome talks.
52
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,082
The fuck are you doing, anyway?
53
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,879
Craft project.
54
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:17,841
What a weirdo.
55
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,263
They look kinda dumb.
56
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,723
I like someone I can
have a conversation with.
57
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:30,185
Oh, wait, are we talking
sex or relationship here?
58
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,727
Fuck, marry, kill.
59
00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:33,106
There's only two of them.
60
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,150
Three of us.
61
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:37,694
It'll pass the time.
62
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:39,571
Hey, Einstein.
63
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,948
He knows his name.
64
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,284
Wanna play a game?
65
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,513
- Oh, sh...
- Shit, you scared me.
66
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,891
No, you scared me with
that performance back there.
67
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,227
You should win an Oscar
and use it like a dildo.
68
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,979
Sorry, I just had to clear my head.
69
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,482
You got that gun on you?
70
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:20,568
Yeah, it's in my underwear
drawer. What you think?
71
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,779
Go collect the guards from the
bubble. Bring 'em to the chapel.
72
00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:24,989
Get Flaritza to help you, all right?
73
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,950
- Flaritza?
- Yeah, that's their thing now.
74
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:28,994
I'll see you in the
chapel in ten minutes.
75
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,455
We gonna get organized.
76
00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,253
You need to bow out?
77
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:39,131
This is your chance,
right here, right now.
78
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,134
All you gotta do is hand over the piece.
79
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,469
Nah, I got this.
80
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,595
Good.
81
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,348
- No more Girl, Interrupted shit, okay?
- Wait, what does that mean?
82
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,894
- Like, letting people interrupt me?
- Nah, it's, like, the whitest movie ever.
83
00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:56,189
Just don't act like a
gringa mental case, okay?
84
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,693
I thought you said
this shit was clickbait.
85
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:04,988
Be patient. All it takes is one retweet.
86
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:08,158
We was supposed to be
"Hamster With a Burrito."
87
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,994
- Instead, we nothin' but Side Boob.
- Mmm-hmm.
88
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,413
Hey, "Workers in the
Mine" has over 1,100 views.
89
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,957
Yeah? Well, how many of
those was from your mama?
90
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:19,002
Ooh, ya burnt!
91
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,630
That'll do it.
92
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,715
State your business.
93
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,218
Oh, shit, they got Jefe.
94
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,511
They don't "got" me.
95
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,932
Kinda looks that way.
96
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,390
Business?
97
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,850
Ruiz is havin' a little
orientation in the chapel.
98
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,602
A reorientation.
99
00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:38,063
- Pass.
- Yeah.
100
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,982
Where I come from, you don't
hang with bitches packin' caliber.
101
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,858
That guard only took one bullet.
102
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,402
Too many left.
103
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,448
Yeah, we keepin' this
here a no-violence zone.
104
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,160
A no-gun zone.
105
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,745
We cool with Spam cans in socks.
106
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:55,830
Hey, your call.
107
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,874
Look, we was just tryin' to have
a racially inclusive riot and shit.
108
00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:00,085
Wait, a guard was shot?
109
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,295
Yeah, but he ain't dead or nothin'.
110
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,714
- Yeah...
- Yo, we got a comment, y'all.
111
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,634
Yo, here come a revolution!
112
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:11,889
Hold up. "Earn up to
$1,200 a week from home."
113
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,475
Looks like the spam escaped your socks.
114
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:18,188
Wait, you can make that
kinda money from home?
115
00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:23,942
So I'm asking you to poke your
head in. See who's takin' charge.
116
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,402
It's just a meeting. I'm
sure it'll be civilized.
117
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,702
Well, that does not seem very PC.
118
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,080
Or is it allowed if you're
darker than a Band-Aid?
119
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,916
I'm not ready to be around people yet.
120
00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:42,918
And maybe that includes you.
121
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,545
You should go.
122
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,007
I'm not in uniform.
123
00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:48,924
And you're nice and anonymous.
124
00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:50,635
Anonymous?
125
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,720
There are, like, four
Asian girls in this prison
126
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,430
and my girlfriend just died.
127
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,766
Oh, so let them comfort you, then.
128
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,393
Well, I can't go out there.
129
00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,519
When there's a revolution,
130
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:02,605
who do you think it is
that gets guillotined first?
131
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,190
- The one percent.
- Marie-Antoinette.
132
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:05,650
- The one percent.
- That's right.
133
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,818
And I intend to keep
this one-percent neck.
134
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,904
I had it contoured last January
135
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:13,824
after Colicchio told me that it
had more rings than a Swiss roll.
136
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:17,203
But I told him he looked
like a manscaped scrotum,
137
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:20,792
which is less poetic, but extremely apt.
138
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,088
You're scared.
139
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,672
That's a new shade from you.
140
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,216
- "Darker than a Band-Aid."
- Oh, darling...
141
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:34,720
- I have been terrified this whole time.
- Bullshit.
142
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:37,182
You have had this place
wrapped around your finger,
143
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,100
but now you just lost your protectors.
144
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,188
So I'm in the market for replacements.
145
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,730
Look, I wasn't supposed
to be here anymore.
146
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:47,358
All right? I was supposed to be out.
147
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,036
Hmm.
148
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,745
- The books...
- Mmm-hmm.
149
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:01,539
She'd want me to make
sure that they're safe.
150
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:07,004
Rest assured, I will play the role of
stern but foxy librarian to the hilt.
151
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,269
All right. You can do it.
152
00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,447
Guys, wait up!
153
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,167
Aw, can we keep her?
154
00:09:36,170 --> 00:09:38,659
If you promise to feed
her and walk her every day.
155
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,453
And she never comes into our bed.
156
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,667
You are very long-legged women.
Ooh, are we seeing a movie?
157
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:50,004
I heard he was shooting all
the Muslims execution style.
158
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,465
- I heard it was an inmate.
- No, it was Humps.
159
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,008
The guy's a psycho.
160
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,345
Humps is a name?
161
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,097
Who's the ranking officer here?
162
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,517
Rick Hopper. I'm the captain
over at the Max facility.
163
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:03,934
CO Piscatella is your man up here.
164
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,520
- Where is he?
- I don't know.
165
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:07,438
Still inside, maybe. I'm guessing.
166
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,245
It's a developing situation.
167
00:10:09,248 --> 00:10:11,984
- What are your orders?
- Orders?
168
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,986
We don't even know whose
jurisdiction this is yet.
169
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,696
If it's a mass shooter, it's the feds.
170
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,532
If it's a prison riot,
chain starts at MCC,
171
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,324
and if it's a cat up a
tree, that's you guys.
172
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:20,576
Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh?
173
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:23,204
- They were yelling, "Attica."
- So it's a riot.
174
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,997
We're not gonna jump to conclusions.
175
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:27,375
I'd rather it be a riot
than a shooter any day.
176
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,877
Inmates can't organize.
And lady inmates?
177
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,337
Come on. I give 'em 15, 20 minutes
178
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,588
before they're all
pulling each other's hair
179
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,634
and begging us to come back inside.
180
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:39,137
- Ma'am.
- Mmm-hmm.
181
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,431
You think they care about us?
182
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,225
No!
183
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:47,270
Do they care if we live or die?
184
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,313
- No!
- "Do they care if we live or die?"
185
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,690
They care about money!
186
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,650
"They care about the money."
187
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,485
Sí!
188
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,404
- "Yes."
- I got that.
189
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,739
We are done getting shit on.
190
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:03,494
From now on, we're the
ones doing the shitting!
191
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,621
"We are the shitters."
192
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,498
Yeah, everything sounds
better in Spanish.
193
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,791
We're here,
194
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:13,296
in this situation, 'cause of
how they been running this place,
195
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,555
and now that we in charge,
196
00:11:15,558 --> 00:11:16,891
we gonna do better.
197
00:11:18,063 --> 00:11:19,971
Speak English!
198
00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:22,181
Fine.
199
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,852
This motherfucking
meeting is called to order!
200
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,065
Welcome to Litchfield 2.0!
201
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:37,612
Still busted-ass, but
getting better by the minute.
202
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,989
Now,
203
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:43,784
because you're such a
special fucking audience,
204
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,828
we got a free riot giveaway for you.
205
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,455
Now don't fight, okay?
206
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,790
You get a phone, you get a phone,
207
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,959
you get a phone!
208
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,880
You get a phone!
209
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:57,715
Ass phones, toti phones...
Everybody gets a phone!
210
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,592
Not everybody. Don't say everybody.
211
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,511
Lots of people get phones!
212
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,973
Welcome to the 21st century, bitches.
213
00:12:04,552 --> 00:12:05,973
You got chargers?
214
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:08,183
We got no power, pendeja.
Use 'em till they die.
215
00:12:09,117 --> 00:12:10,728
Well, that was pretty exciting, huh?
216
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,939
I can't hear you!
217
00:12:15,494 --> 00:12:19,068
Now, hold onto your pants because we
got something real special comin' up.
218
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,698
Hey, bring 'em in!
219
00:12:26,725 --> 00:12:28,578
Any of you little bitches
let go of that rope,
220
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,955
we shoot you in the head.
221
00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:31,832
Don't push me.
222
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,710
You know, I'm having, like, a
total kindergarten flashback.
223
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,380
The shooting in the head part,
or the holding the rope part?
224
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:38,591
Both.
225
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,387
You're stepping on my foot.
226
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,681
It's not like I'm doing
it on purpose. I can't see.
227
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:50,142
- Okay, I'm out.
- Sit, sit, sit.
228
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:53,938
Do you really wanna call
attention to us right now?
229
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,483
Are those actual guards?
230
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,153
This all we got?
231
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,197
There's two still locked in the kitchen
232
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:05,074
with those bald bitches.
233
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,077
Oh.
234
00:13:06,666 --> 00:13:08,002
Too bad...
235
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:13,583
They're gonna miss all the fun.
236
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,000
Strip search.
237
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,170
You just love yelling
shit out, don't you?
238
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:27,179
How are you holding up, pretty lady?
239
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,223
Uh, where's Dr. DePalma?
240
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,683
He had to run,
241
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:33,436
but we will take very good care of you.
242
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:36,858
Oh, you can't fool me. You're a nurse.
243
00:13:38,592 --> 00:13:40,693
She cuts hair.
244
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,236
Well, lucky for you.
245
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,656
If you're nice, I'll fix
that mess on your head.
246
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,201
Looks like Danita's work.
247
00:13:47,918 --> 00:13:49,545
How's the pain, scale of one to ten?
248
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,206
Six.
249
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:56,626
- Maybe seven.
- There's no wrong answer.
250
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,170
Oh.
251
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,633
BP's okay: 138/82.
252
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:04,842
Good.
253
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:05,887
Burset?
254
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,890
Sorry, sorry.
255
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,769
Where'd you go?
256
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,061
I've been through something.
257
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,900
We can work on that.
258
00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:22,752
There's people in real pain here.
259
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:28,949
You think he'll die?
260
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,244
I hope so.
261
00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:32,163
He deserves it.
262
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,833
You think I deserve it?
263
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:38,545
He got in your head.
264
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:43,090
- Got in my head.
- Well, maybe he's already dead...
265
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,678
and we're already
dead, and this is limbo.
266
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:50,890
It does kinda look like it.
267
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,814
Change his IV bag. I'll
hook up his catheter.
268
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,315
You get all the fun stuff.
269
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,366
- Make sure you squeeze out the bubbles.
- I know.
270
00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:06,081
- It's not my first rodeo.
- Yeah, um...
271
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:08,739
Are we in limbo?
272
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,535
Sure as shit we in limbo.
273
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,081
Mmm-hmm.
274
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,542
Mmm-hmm.
275
00:15:18,731 --> 00:15:19,877
If you ask me...
276
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:24,547
this looks like a pretty
nasty group of criminals.
277
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,509
And they're gathering in
groups of four or more.
278
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,178
So where should we start first?
279
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,472
Chocolate City, huh?
280
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,309
Or Vanilla Suburbs?
281
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,439
Looks like we have a winner.
282
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,940
Oh, but wait a minute.
283
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,859
Isn't that racial profiling?
284
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:45,943
Yes.
285
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,112
But we don't do that
here in Litchfield, right?
286
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:54,537
- Look what I found.
- Oh! Whoa.
287
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,498
Looks like somebody's going in the hole.
288
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,250
You want me to go in his hole?
289
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:03,718
No, no, hold off. We
gotta build to that.
290
00:16:03,721 --> 00:16:05,254
That's actually my insulin.
291
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:07,131
My insulin now, Chocolate City.
292
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,758
I'm from rural Michigan.
293
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,510
Let's check out the
suburbs now, shall we?
294
00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:12,219
Yeah, that's right, ladies...
295
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,428
Oh, no.
296
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:15,640
Go deep.
297
00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:19,188
Who knows what weapons
he could be hiding, huh?
298
00:16:19,191 --> 00:16:20,765
Oh, shit, his dick's hard.
299
00:16:20,768 --> 00:16:23,062
What? Oh!
300
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,192
That happens when I get scared.
301
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,194
Or turned on.
302
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,659
Please. I gave you tampons.
303
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:35,993
We have a bond.
304
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:39,955
Relax! You have a nice figure.
Don't get all body shamey.
305
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,166
Your boobs are real creamy.
306
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,377
Mmm-hmm.
307
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,630
Looks like we haven't
found that much yet.
308
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:49,507
What else could we do?
309
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,425
Go spelunking.
310
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,510
The fuck is that?
311
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,303
Cave dive!
312
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,520
I'm not sure I like prison.
313
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,146
Oh, come on. Give it a chance.
314
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:05,869
You don't think that
they're really gonna...
315
00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:10,027
Hmm...
316
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,615
This kinda reminds me of pledge week.
317
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,492
- Fuck Sankey, I guess.
- Mmm-mmm.
318
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:19,161
No, you gotta look past the hair, man.
319
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:22,289
I mean, imagine the big
one with Sankey's hair.
320
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:24,418
So you glue her scalp onto her head,
321
00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:27,171
you got a Pamela fucking Anderson.
322
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,296
Pamela who?
323
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,423
What, really?
324
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,759
Who did you wank to, growing up?
325
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,806
We, uh, weren't allowed.
326
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,890
Yeah, no one's allowed, man.
327
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,391
Hey, you suck.
328
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,770
You and your stupid blue shirt.
329
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:45,896
She's talking about you.
330
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,189
Uh, what're you doing?
331
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:49,441
Haven't you heard of negging?
It's a seduction technique.
332
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,362
Hey, I fuckin' hate you.
333
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,321
Um, okay.
334
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:58,826
Helen?
335
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,079
I'm winking.
336
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,707
That's blinking. You're
blinking. Winking is one eye.
337
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,208
That's batting. She's batting.
338
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,668
- Winking.
- Blinking.
339
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:08,755
Batting.
340
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:11,839
Oh, wait. No, now it
looks like she's got a tic.
341
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:14,176
- She's ticking.
- Just cut it out.
342
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:16,844
It's all subjective, man.
343
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:19,805
Come on, look at her tits!
How are those subjective?
344
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,891
And she got those DSLs, you know?
345
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:25,019
Digital subscriber lines?
346
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:27,021
Dick-sucking lips. Jesus, man!
347
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,147
Is there even come in these veins?
348
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,815
- Huh? Yeah?
- Shut up! I have come!
349
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,609
It's not gonna get
better than this, boys.
350
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,322
All right, moment of truth.
351
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,950
Got it. Fuck Helen, marry
Sankey, and then you kill Brandy.
352
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,911
Nah, I gotta say...
353
00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,829
Fuck Sankey, marry Helen,
354
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,414
kill Brandy.
355
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:47,171
Man, I am not made of stone.
356
00:18:47,174 --> 00:18:49,293
You and me, blondie. Let's do this.
357
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,922
Wait, I thought this was a hypothe...
358
00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:55,301
What was that?
359
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:59,053
- Oh, fuck. It's a fucking dart!
- Well, get it out. Get it out, man!
360
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,255
All right.
361
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,766
There you go. Got it.
362
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:06,435
Motherfuck! Oh!
363
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,772
Hey, nice knowing you, boys.
364
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,318
What? Hey! What do you mean, huh?
365
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,488
Well, the poison acts quick.
Better save your strength.
366
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:28,793
Show me Polaris.
367
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:33,128
There. In Ursa Minor's tail.
368
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,964
And how do you find south?
369
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,215
Orion.
370
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,175
Daddy, this is little-girl stuff.
371
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,760
And you're my little girl.
372
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:41,303
Name the stars in his belt.
373
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,889
Alnitak, Alnilam, Mintaka.
374
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,557
Okay, wise guy.
375
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:48,060
What do you do if it's a cloudy night?
376
00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:49,856
Hope for the best?
377
00:19:50,452 --> 00:19:53,190
Sometimes, knowledge can be dangerous.
378
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,608
When you know the right
word for something,
379
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,238
it can make you overconfident,
dull your senses.
380
00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,532
The planet always has
something to teach you.
381
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:05,662
The second you're sure you
know where you are, you're lost.
382
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,708
The second you're lost...
383
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:10,918
you're dead.
384
00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:15,295
Told you to wear your dungarees.
385
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,089
You're gonna freeze in that getup.
386
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:18,718
I'm not cold. I'm fine.
387
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,512
You sure are cleanin' up there.
388
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:26,726
I'm only missing two. Ice
Skating and Troop Dramatics.
389
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:29,854
When you really know something...
390
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,815
you don't need a badge for it.
391
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:35,567
Bon appétit.
392
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,010
Dad!
393
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:03,637
Daddy.
394
00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:08,559
Daddy!
395
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,521
Dad!
396
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:45,427
- What the hell is this?
- Desi! They didn't get you.
397
00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:47,888
- Boy, that's a load off.
- There have been shots fired,
398
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,514
the inmates have seized the warden,
399
00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,851
and you thought you'd throw
a fucking tailgate party
400
00:21:51,853 --> 00:21:54,061
in the parking lot? Jesus, Ricky.
401
00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:56,230
The warden's in there?
How do you know that?
402
00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:58,065
'Cause they made a fucking video.
403
00:21:58,067 --> 00:21:59,942
Think it might be time to storm?
404
00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:01,624
If we storm, we're
only gonna escalate it.
405
00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:03,739
So escalate it!
406
00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:08,742
The best move is to let it die out.
407
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,995
They don't know what they're doing.
408
00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:12,748
You don't know them like I do.
409
00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:25,634
That is one gay table.
410
00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:28,512
Look how the napkins
411
00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:31,681
match the little
gingerbread houses exactly.
412
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:34,268
If you like Christmas in Vienna,
413
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:36,979
wait till you see Arabian Fantasy.
414
00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:38,063
Ooh!
415
00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:45,654
Man, for every year we in here
it's like 100 Internet years.
416
00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:47,990
- Mmm.
- We ain't never gonna catch up.
417
00:22:47,992 --> 00:22:51,201
We gonna be like my momma
tryin' to work her DVDs.
418
00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,662
Like, now, there's an
app for scorin' dope.
419
00:22:53,664 --> 00:22:56,957
You know how many bitches in here would
be free people if they had that shit?
420
00:22:56,959 --> 00:22:59,168
I make my daughter teach
me all the new stuff.
421
00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:01,086
That helps a little.
422
00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:02,754
You never said you had a daughter.
423
00:23:02,756 --> 00:23:04,383
Well, you never asked.
424
00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:08,010
Oh, hold up.
425
00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:09,636
We been retweeted.
426
00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:11,221
Praise black Jesus!
427
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:14,266
- Show.
- All right. There's the link.
428
00:23:14,268 --> 00:23:15,602
Hashtag.
429
00:23:16,895 --> 00:23:19,479
"Black lattes matter."
430
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:20,939
- What?
- Lattes?
431
00:23:22,193 --> 00:23:24,151
Oh.
432
00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:30,699
What the...
433
00:23:30,701 --> 00:23:33,245
They ain't got me up
there with Sarah Palin...
434
00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:38,123
Whoa.
435
00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:39,896
That shit is meta.
436
00:23:39,899 --> 00:23:41,751
That don't even make no sense.
437
00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:44,629
"Black lattes matter"? Lattes got milk.
438
00:23:44,631 --> 00:23:47,466
That's what make 'em lattes.
Ain't no "black latte,"
439
00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:50,469
'cause that would make it,
like, iced coffee or somethin'.
440
00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:54,181
That's a, uh... What do
you call that? Oxymormon?
441
00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:55,726
It's all a joke.
442
00:23:57,811 --> 00:23:59,271
You okay, T?
443
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,356
The whole point...
444
00:24:02,358 --> 00:24:05,692
was to tell the world about Poussey.
445
00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:08,278
Tell 'em what happened to our girl, man!
446
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,906
People don't care!
447
00:24:18,273 --> 00:24:19,522
If we're already dead,
448
00:24:19,525 --> 00:24:21,832
maybe it wouldn't be murder
if we killed him again.
449
00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:25,212
We could prop his feet up
a little bit above his head,
450
00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:27,506
so the blood all goes to one end.
451
00:24:27,508 --> 00:24:29,508
I hear that's really bad for you.
452
00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:31,260
No, that could take a while.
453
00:24:31,262 --> 00:24:33,053
We could take the
feathers out of his pillow
454
00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:34,763
and savagely tickle him to death.
455
00:24:34,765 --> 00:24:37,559
That's too gentle.
456
00:24:41,522 --> 00:24:45,565
Or... we could get a
big jar of fire ants,
457
00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,567
and they could nibble at him.
458
00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:49,778
Yeah, better.
459
00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:53,323
- But you should get some honey.
- Honey?
460
00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:55,242
Lead the ants where you want.
461
00:24:55,244 --> 00:24:58,620
Do you want them to go in the
guy's ears and eat his brain?
462
00:24:58,622 --> 00:24:59,915
Or his eyes?
463
00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:05,879
You don't want ants wandering
all over. You want them organized.
464
00:25:07,631 --> 00:25:09,633
- Where am I?
- Purgatory.
465
00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:11,635
Really?
466
00:25:13,429 --> 00:25:14,761
No!
467
00:25:14,763 --> 00:25:16,890
Lezzies go straight to hell.
468
00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:22,769
What are some other ways
you might kill someone?
469
00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,563
Oh, you can get really creative.
470
00:25:24,565 --> 00:25:28,608
In the Middle Ages, they
would do this cool thing.
471
00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:31,778
They'd attach a cage full
of rats to a guy's stomach.
472
00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:34,030
And then they'd put
candles on top of the cage,
473
00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:38,202
and the rats would burrow into the
guy's stomach to escape the heat.
474
00:25:38,204 --> 00:25:42,747
I had a scene like that in Time
Hump, except the rats were penises.
475
00:25:42,749 --> 00:25:44,291
And it wasn't a stomach.
476
00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:47,252
The Flesh Towers of Infamy.
477
00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:49,463
It's not super practical, of course.
478
00:25:49,465 --> 00:25:53,469
You gotta get a cage,
and you gotta get rats...
479
00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:58,474
Sometimes it's best to just use
whatever's available on hand.
480
00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:08,148
Come on!
481
00:26:08,150 --> 00:26:10,942
Open the door, Flores.
482
00:26:10,944 --> 00:26:12,194
Yeah.
483
00:26:12,196 --> 00:26:14,070
I prefer not.
484
00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:15,989
How'd you like ten more years in prison?
485
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:18,111
I don't mind it so much now
that we running the place.
486
00:26:18,619 --> 00:26:22,429
Go to the chapel. Tell Maria
the Jolly Gay Giant is back.
487
00:26:24,979 --> 00:26:26,229
When I get in there,
488
00:26:26,231 --> 00:26:29,753
I'm going to personally take
you apart, Piscatella style.
489
00:26:29,755 --> 00:26:30,879
If you can find me.
490
00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:32,966
I know we all look alike to you.
491
00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:41,556
Is this what you mean
by "Piscatella style"?
492
00:26:41,558 --> 00:26:43,016
Is that supposed to embarrass me?
493
00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:46,395
That took grand prize at
the Dutchess County Fair.
494
00:26:46,397 --> 00:26:47,812
I could not be prouder.
495
00:26:47,814 --> 00:26:51,900
The blind cannot see,
the proud will not.
496
00:26:51,902 --> 00:26:56,655
Well, my vision's 20-20,
lady, and all I see is awesome.
497
00:26:56,657 --> 00:27:00,700
And in a matter of minutes, we
are going to take back this prison,
498
00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:03,787
and you are going to be
cooking roaches in Seg
499
00:27:03,789 --> 00:27:05,914
for the rest of your sorry life.
500
00:27:05,916 --> 00:27:08,001
Can you see that?
501
00:27:13,715 --> 00:27:15,759
I see many things.
502
00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:20,220
Is that a Russian proverb?
503
00:27:20,222 --> 00:27:21,930
That blind-proud thing?
504
00:27:21,932 --> 00:27:23,640
Real Russians have no proverbs.
505
00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,727
We have vodka and misery.
506
00:27:28,063 --> 00:27:31,275
Wait. That was a proverb.
507
00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:36,027
Squat and cough! Squat and cough!
508
00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:37,196
Squat and cough!
509
00:27:37,198 --> 00:27:39,198
No, don't.
510
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,825
My bad, ladies. Seriously.
511
00:27:41,827 --> 00:27:44,578
Lesson learned. Mea fuckin' culpa.
512
00:27:44,580 --> 00:27:46,830
Look at his Smurf dick.
513
00:27:46,832 --> 00:27:48,915
How is it a Smurf dick? Smurfs are blue.
514
00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:50,082
It's not not blue.
515
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:51,917
It's small with a droopy hat.
516
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,996
That's Smurf enough for me.
517
00:27:53,999 --> 00:27:56,465
Hey, Cabrera, you got this.
518
00:27:58,552 --> 00:28:00,176
Really? You don't wanna?
519
00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:02,221
A good leader delegates.
520
00:28:04,516 --> 00:28:07,060
- Looks like we goin' to fifth base.
- Oh, Jesus.
521
00:28:08,061 --> 00:28:10,520
Don't worry. I got talented fingers.
522
00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:13,607
Oh, please. I'm so sorry.
523
00:28:15,569 --> 00:28:18,447
Please stop. There's nothing in there.
524
00:28:22,649 --> 00:28:24,743
Yo, this is getting kinda messed up.
525
00:28:24,745 --> 00:28:27,537
Yeah, if they're gonna kill
'em, they should just kill 'em.
526
00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:29,414
- How're you okay with this?
- I'm not...
527
00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:33,084
I'm not okay with this, Alex. We
just need to be quiet, or they'll...
528
00:28:33,086 --> 00:28:35,922
I'm not gonna be quiet.
This is fucking insane.
529
00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:46,723
I don't wanna be a part of this.
530
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:48,975
Most of us have done nothing wrong yet,
531
00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:52,020
so why should we all go down
because Diaz shot a guard?
532
00:28:52,022 --> 00:28:53,897
Lots of us did shit we're guilty for.
533
00:28:53,899 --> 00:28:55,609
Not just Daya.
534
00:28:58,404 --> 00:29:01,365
Good luck with your Rumsfeld
dinner theater. I'm out.
535
00:29:05,869 --> 00:29:07,577
The big gay is back!
536
00:29:07,579 --> 00:29:08,662
Piscatella?
537
00:29:08,664 --> 00:29:10,529
- He's trying to storm.
- Let him.
538
00:29:10,532 --> 00:29:12,416
We could take down that walking tree.
539
00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:17,086
Great, so more of us can end up
like the little black hooch maker?
540
00:29:17,088 --> 00:29:18,880
How does Ruiz always end up in charge?
541
00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:21,049
We gotta look into that.
542
00:29:21,051 --> 00:29:22,303
You think you can do better?
543
00:29:23,178 --> 00:29:25,970
I can't answer that right
now. I gotta think about it.
544
00:29:25,972 --> 00:29:27,472
Just shoot Piscatella.
545
00:29:27,475 --> 00:29:29,558
- We got the gun, don't we?
- Yeah.
546
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,142
Oh, so you're in charge now?
547
00:29:31,144 --> 00:29:32,854
Never take on a heckler.
548
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:41,361
Ah! Enough!
549
00:29:41,363 --> 00:29:45,574
The gun ain't gonna beat all
the guns they got out there.
550
00:29:45,576 --> 00:29:48,161
What we got are hostages.
551
00:29:49,079 --> 00:29:52,456
If it wasn't for them, they'd have
burned this place down already.
552
00:29:52,458 --> 00:29:54,958
And whatever you feel
about what Daya did,
553
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,669
the only way out is
for us to come together.
554
00:29:57,671 --> 00:30:00,714
We gotta show them on the
outside that we got their people,
555
00:30:00,716 --> 00:30:03,719
and they're fine now,
but that could change.
556
00:30:05,095 --> 00:30:06,262
It'll buy us time.
557
00:30:07,055 --> 00:30:08,264
Time?
558
00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:12,394
To figure out what the fuck we gonna do.
559
00:30:15,731 --> 00:30:17,271
Who else we got out there?
560
00:30:17,273 --> 00:30:18,773
The black girls have Caputo.
561
00:30:18,775 --> 00:30:21,818
Those guards in the kitchen. The
one with the hair you wanna sit on?
562
00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:23,069
And the one with the hot mouth.
563
00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:25,154
Hair sitting? Is that a thing?
564
00:30:25,156 --> 00:30:27,451
Everything's a thing.
565
00:30:28,702 --> 00:30:30,201
And Humps.
566
00:30:30,203 --> 00:30:31,622
Fuckin' Humps.
567
00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:39,671
Time for a family photo.
568
00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:44,466
Best day ever.
569
00:30:44,468 --> 00:30:47,719
This is better than the time my mom
let me babysit my little sister...
570
00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:51,848
and I made her eat Alpo Gravy
Cravers wet dog food for dinner.
571
00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:53,767
She was a little bitch.
572
00:30:53,769 --> 00:30:55,769
I really wanna just take a nap.
573
00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:58,021
Come on! You the gangsta with the gun.
574
00:30:58,023 --> 00:30:59,230
Bangers don't nap.
575
00:30:59,232 --> 00:31:01,566
You're tired a lot lately. You
should maybe check your iron.
576
00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:03,360
What if Caputo doesn't
wanna come with us?
577
00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:05,236
Dude used to be a boxer or some shit.
578
00:31:05,238 --> 00:31:07,781
So, then you point the gun at his
head and he'll change his mind.
579
00:31:07,783 --> 00:31:11,412
If I tell you something, will
you promise not to tell Maria?
580
00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:13,580
Yeah, okay.
581
00:31:15,666 --> 00:31:16,792
It's gone.
582
00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:19,461
- You not tired anymore?
- The gun?
583
00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:21,922
I lost it.
584
00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:23,797
How do you lose a gun?
585
00:31:23,799 --> 00:31:25,339
I don't know. Somebody knocked me out.
586
00:31:25,341 --> 00:31:27,551
I wake up, and I'm this person
who's supposed to have power,
587
00:31:27,553 --> 00:31:28,927
and I just fucking shot someone.
588
00:31:28,929 --> 00:31:31,054
Shit, I hate when people cry.
589
00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:33,848
Hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay.
590
00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:36,810
We've all pretended to have
guns that we don't have.
591
00:31:36,812 --> 00:31:38,702
- Right?
- Sure.
592
00:31:38,705 --> 00:31:40,980
I'll show you how I make
everyone think I got a gun.
593
00:31:40,982 --> 00:31:42,651
I'm like a expert.
594
00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:53,367
One thing I know, never let them
move you to a second location.
595
00:31:53,369 --> 00:31:54,705
That's when they kill you.
596
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:57,371
Nobody's killing anybody.
597
00:31:57,373 --> 00:31:59,833
They need us alive to negotiate.
598
00:31:59,835 --> 00:32:02,711
Uh, think of any hostage movie ever.
599
00:32:02,713 --> 00:32:04,253
The hostages always die.
600
00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:06,923
They act like whiny
bitches, and then they die.
601
00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:10,386
What're you talking
about? Hostages never die.
602
00:32:11,472 --> 00:32:14,013
Air Force One, they're safe.
603
00:32:14,015 --> 00:32:15,308
Speed, safe.
604
00:32:16,685 --> 00:32:18,770
Well, what about the
black guy driving a bus?
605
00:32:19,675 --> 00:32:20,757
That's one.
606
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,523
And the black guy in
Assault on Precinct 13?
607
00:32:23,525 --> 00:32:26,400
And the black guard in Dog
Day has an asthma attack.
608
00:32:26,402 --> 00:32:28,279
I'm sensing a pattern here.
609
00:32:29,405 --> 00:32:31,656
What, are you saying we're
safe because we're white?
610
00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:34,158
If we were in a movie, I'd say that.
611
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:35,994
But we're not in a movie.
612
00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:37,996
Horror movies are even worse.
613
00:32:37,998 --> 00:32:40,373
Black one's always toast.
614
00:32:40,375 --> 00:32:42,542
And by the way, one of the hostages
615
00:32:42,544 --> 00:32:44,295
does die in Air Force One.
616
00:32:45,839 --> 00:32:46,921
Which one?
617
00:32:46,923 --> 00:32:48,592
The PR person.
618
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:51,720
Oh, yeah.
619
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:57,724
Oh, shit.
620
00:32:57,726 --> 00:32:59,227
Oh, shit.
621
00:33:00,479 --> 00:33:02,270
You gotta hand them over.
622
00:33:02,272 --> 00:33:03,730
We ain't gotta nothin'.
623
00:33:03,732 --> 00:33:05,899
I got a gun that says you do.
624
00:33:05,901 --> 00:33:07,484
Cool down, Diaz.
625
00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:09,571
I think we should
settle this with words.
626
00:33:12,407 --> 00:33:14,699
This is how we show the
outside that we got power.
627
00:33:14,701 --> 00:33:16,910
"We together and we got hostages.
628
00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:18,870
- What you gonna do?"
- Negative.
629
00:33:18,872 --> 00:33:20,830
Not interested.
630
00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:22,874
Y'all give us a second. Come on.
631
00:33:22,876 --> 00:33:23,919
Come here.
632
00:33:27,798 --> 00:33:30,214
We agreed we didn't wanna
mess with the guard shooters.
633
00:33:30,216 --> 00:33:32,133
- We got a good thing here.
- Do we?
634
00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:34,343
'Cause it kinda feel like
we ain't gettin' nowhere.
635
00:33:34,345 --> 00:33:37,681
And everybody else gettin' somewhere!
636
00:33:37,683 --> 00:33:41,309
Look, I know it ain't what you pictured,
but, yo, we got a chance to be heard.
637
00:33:41,311 --> 00:33:44,228
And I ain't talking about
no Internet-bullshit heard.
638
00:33:44,230 --> 00:33:48,484
I'm talking about Obama
'08 hopey-changey heard.
639
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,236
Y'all look, workin' across tribes,
640
00:33:52,238 --> 00:33:54,781
bein' postracial and shit.
641
00:33:54,783 --> 00:33:56,451
Yo, it's what P would've wanted.
642
00:33:58,954 --> 00:34:01,735
Yo, look at Cindy talkin'
postracial and fartin' rainbows.
643
00:34:01,738 --> 00:34:05,376
There's more strength in
a single, unified message.
644
00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:07,836
I mean... y'all need to listen to me.
645
00:34:07,838 --> 00:34:10,589
I'm like six sh'mahs
away from bein' a rabbi.
646
00:34:10,591 --> 00:34:11,758
Mmm.
647
00:34:23,236 --> 00:34:24,644
We're in.
648
00:34:24,646 --> 00:34:27,983
But we move 'em ourselves.
And they still ours.
649
00:34:28,859 --> 00:34:30,193
Works for us.
650
00:34:35,156 --> 00:34:36,823
Get ready, kids.
651
00:34:36,825 --> 00:34:39,410
We goin' on a trip.
652
00:34:41,537 --> 00:34:44,664
I can't even see anybody.
You sure this is the place?
653
00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:46,750
She said they'd bring
Judy out a side entrance,
654
00:34:46,752 --> 00:34:48,668
dodge the paparazzi.
655
00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:50,881
- Dodge the paparazzi?
- I don't know.
656
00:34:52,465 --> 00:34:54,217
I'm checking the other side.
657
00:34:56,052 --> 00:34:57,053
Fine.
658
00:34:59,555 --> 00:35:02,766
So, how are you feeling
about the homecoming?
659
00:35:02,768 --> 00:35:04,934
I've been doin' my stamina exercises.
660
00:35:04,936 --> 00:35:06,811
Yeah.
661
00:35:06,813 --> 00:35:08,813
Two months for that conjugal visit.
662
00:35:08,815 --> 00:35:11,693
Tonight's gonna be like
a trip to Splash Mountain.
663
00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:14,402
- See?
- Oh, yeah.
664
00:35:14,404 --> 00:35:16,237
- Other entrance.
- Yeah.
665
00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:30,752
Hey! What... what are you doing?
666
00:35:30,754 --> 00:35:33,004
Making an awesome fort in B-Dorm.
667
00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:35,632
- Those aren't yours!
- We're borrowing them!
668
00:35:35,634 --> 00:35:37,759
- No!
- This is a library.
669
00:35:37,761 --> 00:35:40,138
Stop!
670
00:35:43,809 --> 00:35:46,517
No, these are hers.
671
00:35:46,519 --> 00:35:47,601
What?
672
00:35:47,603 --> 00:35:49,397
Get it? They're hers!
673
00:35:50,649 --> 00:35:52,565
Well, are you gonna
fucking say anything?
674
00:35:52,567 --> 00:35:54,567
Noise canceling. Sorry, what?
675
00:35:54,569 --> 00:35:56,279
These things really work.
676
00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:14,713
- I feel weird.
- Does your mouth taste like metal?
677
00:36:14,715 --> 00:36:17,841
Wolfsbane, such a useful flower.
678
00:36:17,843 --> 00:36:20,509
The Greeks used it to
poison their arrows.
679
00:36:20,511 --> 00:36:25,475
Two thousand years later, the Germans
used it to poison their bullets.
680
00:36:26,687 --> 00:36:28,019
We should really go to medical.
681
00:36:28,022 --> 00:36:29,728
Yeah, we go out there,
they're all gonna kill us.
682
00:36:29,730 --> 00:36:31,354
The fun thing about wolfsbane is,
683
00:36:31,356 --> 00:36:33,815
it works from the outside in.
684
00:36:33,817 --> 00:36:37,485
Most people feel a little
tingle in the fingertips first,
685
00:36:37,487 --> 00:36:40,739
as the smallest nerves are paralyzed.
686
00:36:40,741 --> 00:36:45,576
Then, it makes its way, ever
so slowly, to your heart,
687
00:36:45,578 --> 00:36:48,997
closing around it like an icy fist.
688
00:36:48,999 --> 00:36:51,415
Something to look forward to.
689
00:36:51,417 --> 00:36:54,002
- Shit, I feel the finger thing.
- Me, too.
690
00:36:54,004 --> 00:36:56,339
It's not too painful as deaths go.
691
00:36:57,215 --> 00:37:01,384
Except the part where your
lungs deflate like an old condom.
692
00:37:01,386 --> 00:37:02,593
Oh, fuck!
693
00:37:02,595 --> 00:37:04,929
Of course, I'd be happy
to mix you some antidote
694
00:37:04,931 --> 00:37:08,559
if I wasn't trapped in this closet
with two cue balls and a dirty mop.
695
00:37:09,352 --> 00:37:10,935
What do we do?
696
00:37:10,937 --> 00:37:13,062
Fuck it. Let her out.
697
00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:14,147
Yeah.
698
00:37:14,149 --> 00:37:16,026
All right, the rest of
you stay the fuck back!
699
00:37:19,570 --> 00:37:20,931
What the fuck?
700
00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:24,959
Oh, Jesus! Get the fuck off of me.
701
00:37:25,786 --> 00:37:26,951
Team! Work!
702
00:37:28,496 --> 00:37:30,413
Hey, give us the antidote!
703
00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:32,331
We had a deal!
704
00:37:32,333 --> 00:37:36,481
You really think wolfsbane
was just growing in the pantry?
705
00:37:36,484 --> 00:37:38,712
- Suckers.
- You mean...
706
00:37:40,465 --> 00:37:42,591
You are one bad bitch.
707
00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:44,135
So long, girls.
708
00:37:44,137 --> 00:37:45,636
And by the way,
709
00:37:45,638 --> 00:37:48,892
fuck Stratman, marry
Blake, kill Piscatella.
710
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,977
She wants to fuck me. Ow!
711
00:38:33,437 --> 00:38:36,270
♪ Nature Scouts are on the go ♪
712
00:38:36,272 --> 00:38:39,065
♪ Watch us sprout
and watch us grow ♪
713
00:38:39,067 --> 00:38:41,984
♪ Hiking, camping, crafts galore ♪
714
00:38:41,986 --> 00:38:45,029
♪ And we make the tasty s'mores ♪
715
00:38:45,031 --> 00:38:48,534
♪ Sound off sound off ♪
716
00:40:06,487 --> 00:40:08,487
Yeah, speaking of honey,
717
00:40:08,489 --> 00:40:11,699
the ancient Persians did this
thing where they would take a guy,
718
00:40:11,701 --> 00:40:15,619
put him in an old hollowed-out
tree trunk and plant him in a swamp.
719
00:40:15,621 --> 00:40:19,123
Then cover him in honey,
and after a few days,
720
00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:21,667
between the honey and his own feces,
721
00:40:21,669 --> 00:40:24,420
the maggots would really go to town.
722
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:27,048
You know a lot about history.
723
00:40:27,050 --> 00:40:28,174
Oh, yeah.
724
00:40:28,176 --> 00:40:29,928
You gotta know what comes before you.
725
00:40:30,595 --> 00:40:33,554
The Chinese invented
this thing called Lingchi.
726
00:40:33,556 --> 00:40:35,139
Oh, pickled cabbage, right?
727
00:40:35,141 --> 00:40:36,684
Kinda spicy?
728
00:40:37,329 --> 00:40:38,311
Lingchi.
729
00:40:39,229 --> 00:40:41,022
It means death of a thousand cuts.
730
00:40:41,856 --> 00:40:46,067
What they'd do is start by cutting
off all the unnecessary stuff,
731
00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:48,236
the meat, like breasts and butts.
732
00:40:48,238 --> 00:40:53,201
And they could basically keep you alive
till you were nothing but a beating heart.
733
00:40:54,369 --> 00:40:56,827
It's all so boring now.
734
00:40:56,829 --> 00:41:01,040
Those were the golden days.
735
00:41:01,042 --> 00:41:02,924
Sorry, I'm not sure I caught that.
736
00:41:02,927 --> 00:41:05,753
Those were the golden days...
737
00:41:05,755 --> 00:41:07,173
Um...
738
00:41:08,383 --> 00:41:10,174
Oh, yo, nice Indian dude.
739
00:41:10,176 --> 00:41:11,177
Little help!
740
00:41:14,222 --> 00:41:15,846
What's wrong with him?
741
00:41:15,848 --> 00:41:17,974
Sir, try and repeat after me.
742
00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:19,850
"Mary had a little lamb."
743
00:41:19,852 --> 00:41:22,103
Mary...
744
00:41:23,273 --> 00:41:25,478
Looks like cerebral
ischemia. I need TPA, now.
745
00:41:25,481 --> 00:41:26,854
Copy that.
746
00:41:32,198 --> 00:41:36,325
Sometimes it's best to use
what's available on hand.
747
00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:37,662
Like?
748
00:41:38,788 --> 00:41:42,123
Like blowing oxygen bubbles in his IV.
749
00:41:46,921 --> 00:41:48,131
You're welcome.
750
00:42:03,854 --> 00:42:05,815
We're all rooting for you, sir.
751
00:42:06,732 --> 00:42:09,525
Well, not really. This is awkward.
752
00:42:09,527 --> 00:42:11,196
Keep walking.
753
00:42:18,494 --> 00:42:20,121
You in flavor country.
754
00:42:26,586 --> 00:42:28,669
You like it?
755
00:42:30,256 --> 00:42:32,090
Incoming!
756
00:42:32,092 --> 00:42:35,593
Hey, Caputo. Did you want me to
prescribe something for your dignity?
757
00:42:35,595 --> 00:42:37,136
Oh, shit, that doesn't exist.
758
00:42:37,138 --> 00:42:39,432
Yeah, but why not? Now,
that would be useful.
759
00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:43,934
Oh, say it ain't so, Joe.
760
00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:46,520
Yo, they're the last ones.
I think we got them all.
761
00:42:46,522 --> 00:42:49,148
Hey, that makes sense
because we haven't seen
762
00:42:49,150 --> 00:42:50,274
any guards around here,
763
00:42:50,276 --> 00:42:52,735
and if we had... 'cause
we would've caught 'em.
764
00:42:52,737 --> 00:42:56,157
And we would've not given 'em
any love or any candy, huh?
765
00:42:57,492 --> 00:42:58,782
Right?
766
00:42:58,784 --> 00:43:01,871
You should've been in the CIA. I
mean, you really missed your calling.
767
00:43:02,872 --> 00:43:05,164
This is not good.
768
00:43:05,166 --> 00:43:06,832
Not. Good.
769
00:43:06,834 --> 00:43:09,127
He looks like someone left
a cake out in the rain.
770
00:43:09,129 --> 00:43:11,087
I love that song.
771
00:43:11,089 --> 00:43:12,090
Me, too!
772
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:16,594
- Speak English, you guys.
- Sorry.
773
00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:18,594
So what's wrong with him, anyway?
774
00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:19,720
He's had a stroke.
775
00:43:19,722 --> 00:43:22,265
It's difficult to assess the
extent of the damage at this point.
776
00:43:22,267 --> 00:43:23,476
It is?
777
00:43:24,102 --> 00:43:26,227
Well, we're taking him
anyway. Don't try to stop us.
778
00:43:26,229 --> 00:43:27,936
Nobody's stopping you.
779
00:43:27,938 --> 00:43:30,439
She doesn't have to
point that thing at us.
780
00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:32,041
I think it's just her finger.
781
00:43:32,693 --> 00:43:34,320
No, it's not.
782
00:44:03,433 --> 00:44:04,559
Daddy?
783
00:44:10,273 --> 00:44:11,730
Fifteen and a half hours.
784
00:44:11,732 --> 00:44:14,525
- Did you make a mistake?
- No.
785
00:44:14,527 --> 00:44:15,528
Frieda.
786
00:44:17,112 --> 00:44:18,614
I went swimmin'.
787
00:44:28,458 --> 00:44:30,751
In the future, there
won't be room for mistakes.
788
00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:33,671
- You think the Reds make mistakes?
- No.
789
00:44:34,589 --> 00:44:36,424
They're on the move now. See?
790
00:44:38,468 --> 00:44:39,802
I picked up their sonar.
791
00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:44,515
I'm hungry.
792
00:44:47,727 --> 00:44:48,769
Me, too.
793
00:44:49,812 --> 00:44:51,188
We'll heat up some TV dinners.
794
00:44:51,939 --> 00:44:53,357
Give your mama a kiss.
795
00:45:05,286 --> 00:45:07,661
It won't be long now, baby girl.
796
00:45:07,663 --> 00:45:10,207
It'll be fast and it'll be terrible.
797
00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:13,646
No one else in this damn country
understands, not even McCarthy.
798
00:45:15,004 --> 00:45:17,796
But they're gonna get
a heavy dose of reality.
799
00:45:17,798 --> 00:45:19,923
They're all gonna come
knocking on that door up there,
800
00:45:19,925 --> 00:45:21,261
begging to be let in.
801
00:45:22,595 --> 00:45:23,929
But you'll be strong.
802
00:45:27,433 --> 00:45:28,684
You'll be ready.
803
00:47:23,132 --> 00:47:25,048
Lookee what we found!
804
00:47:25,050 --> 00:47:27,885
- I can't believe you bit me.
- Delicious.
805
00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:29,887
I don't ever wanna be
this close to him again,
806
00:47:29,889 --> 00:47:31,972
unless I'm kicking him.
807
00:47:31,974 --> 00:47:34,059
Don't be scared. I
think his brain broke.
808
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:39,772
Put one on his eye lid.
809
00:47:39,774 --> 00:47:41,651
- Like, to lift it.
- Hmm.
810
00:47:45,070 --> 00:47:47,613
That's not bad. We could
be, like, plastic surgeons.
811
00:47:47,615 --> 00:47:51,575
It's not Demi Moore good, but at
least it's, like, Meg Ryan good.
812
00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:54,286
- Yeah, so we ready?
- Maybe a little eyeliner?
813
00:47:54,288 --> 00:47:55,829
You know, to wake his eyes up.
814
00:47:55,831 --> 00:47:57,372
Yo, stop fucking around.
815
00:47:57,374 --> 00:47:59,877
Get him on stage.
816
00:48:01,421 --> 00:48:03,378
This ain't over.
817
00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:05,297
When we're done with you,
818
00:48:05,299 --> 00:48:08,133
your outside's gonna match your insides.
819
00:48:11,472 --> 00:48:13,263
Hey. Please.
820
00:48:13,265 --> 00:48:15,059
It's a religious thing.
821
00:48:16,226 --> 00:48:18,351
What are you? A priest or something?
822
00:48:18,353 --> 00:48:20,312
I said strip.
823
00:48:20,314 --> 00:48:22,686
- Please, I...
- Daya!
824
00:48:22,689 --> 00:48:24,326
Get the fucking gun!
825
00:48:24,329 --> 00:48:26,318
Am I supposed to take it
out for every little thing?
826
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,028
Yeah, that's kind of the deal.
827
00:48:28,030 --> 00:48:29,196
Well, maybe she's right.
828
00:48:29,198 --> 00:48:31,325
You don't want it to lose
its impact or whatever.
829
00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:40,082
Either you take 'em
off or we cut 'em off.
830
00:48:40,084 --> 00:48:41,085
Hmm?
831
00:48:49,844 --> 00:48:52,678
Would you look at those bloomers!
832
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:53,764
It's a temple garment.
833
00:48:54,348 --> 00:48:56,139
What are you... what are you? Mormon?
834
00:48:56,141 --> 00:48:57,602
Still hot.
835
00:49:04,358 --> 00:49:05,691
What the hell?
836
00:49:05,693 --> 00:49:07,275
You don't fucking have it, do you?
837
00:49:07,277 --> 00:49:08,736
Have what?
838
00:49:08,738 --> 00:49:10,320
Maria.
839
00:49:10,322 --> 00:49:11,782
Later.
840
00:49:12,658 --> 00:49:14,199
All right, everybody closer.
841
00:49:14,201 --> 00:49:16,118
Everybody get in. We
need to see everybody.
842
00:49:17,204 --> 00:49:18,871
Can we do this? I... I really gotta pee.
843
00:49:18,873 --> 00:49:20,455
Quiet, boner boy.
844
00:49:20,457 --> 00:49:22,415
Do landscape, not portrait.
845
00:49:22,417 --> 00:49:23,751
What the hell is that?
846
00:49:23,753 --> 00:49:25,503
Sideways, not upways.
847
00:49:25,505 --> 00:49:26,587
"Upways"?
848
00:49:26,589 --> 00:49:29,464
Anybody else got any helpful tips?
849
00:49:29,466 --> 00:49:30,467
No!
850
00:49:31,385 --> 00:49:33,513
Good. All right.
851
00:49:35,055 --> 00:49:37,307
Everybody say, "Cheese!"
852
00:49:39,894 --> 00:49:42,269
- Cheese.
- Don't fucking say chee...
853
00:49:48,030 --> 00:49:52,198
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
61705
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