All language subtitles for Orange is the New Black - 05x02 - Fuck, Marry, Frieda.MOROSE.English.C.edit.Addic7ed.com

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:18,412 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 2 00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:22,374 Now, you'll want to pick the gayest handkerchief you can find, 3 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,750 since this will serve as your doll's head. 4 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:29,089 Uh, I'll choose apple-blossom pink for my demonstration. 5 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,924 I'm gonna give my doll bangs like Debbie Reynolds. 6 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,468 My mom says I can't watch her movies anymore, 7 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:38,680 now that she gave her lady gift to Eddie Fisher. 8 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:41,391 - What does that mean? - It's some kind of flower. 9 00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:44,227 This may not look as tricky as the Indian Lore badge 10 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:45,729 or the Backyard Chef badge, 11 00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:49,860 but the Hobby Fun badge has eluded many a sloppy girl. 12 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,235 Did you hear that, Frieda? 13 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,738 Finally a badge you won't get. 14 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,447 You calling me sloppy? 15 00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,825 And smelly. Also smelly. 16 00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,467 It's the beaver musk I put around my neck. 17 00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,663 Well, it smells like a monkey butt. 18 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:06,291 Technically, it does come from the anal glands, 19 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,919 which makes it very helpful when you want to attract deer. 20 00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:12,088 "Attract deer"? Are you gonna marry them? 21 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,466 I'm gonna shoot 'em. 22 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:18,055 You were right. She is an alien from outer space. 23 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,432 Do you know the Nature Scout motto? 24 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,559 "Ready for any and all things." 25 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,186 Do you know what it means? 26 00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:30,023 What if your mom went away one day and there were no more finger sandwiches? 27 00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:33,359 What if the sky went dark and all the crops died? 28 00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:35,551 Would you know which plants were safe to eat 29 00:02:35,554 --> 00:02:37,619 and which ones will make you vomit till you're dead? 30 00:02:37,622 --> 00:02:41,660 Could you kill an animal and clean it without cutting the intestines? 31 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:46,041 Could you take its skin and salt it and tan it to keep warm? 32 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:51,962 Or would you sit in the corner with your doll and wait to die? 33 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,885 I'll take a piece of that green gingham over there, thank you. 34 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:25,829 Uh, hello? Hello? 35 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,748 - Anybody there? - Maybe it's broken. 36 00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:31,209 Hey, uh, if you're a guard, buzz twice. 37 00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:35,088 Not a good sign. 38 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,090 The one who kicked me in the vag is kinda cute. 39 00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,967 Good Aryan stock. 40 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:42,512 You can't tell by looking. I met a Jew once, nose like a Kewpie doll. 41 00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:45,348 And the crotch kicker's mine. You get the bald one. 42 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,601 But I called him. 43 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,103 Hair likes hair, bald likes bald. 44 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,480 Why do you think Cali skins don't fuck Idaho Klan? 45 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,401 - No mixing. - Both. 46 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:56,569 What? 47 00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,820 All for Helen. 48 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,739 News flash, ladies. 49 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,908 Those boys don't wanna fuck any of you. 50 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,035 They don't see you as women. 51 00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:07,397 Look, the garden gnome talks. 52 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,082 The fuck are you doing, anyway? 53 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,879 Craft project. 54 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:17,841 What a weirdo. 55 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,263 They look kinda dumb. 56 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,723 I like someone I can have a conversation with. 57 00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:30,185 Oh, wait, are we talking sex or relationship here? 58 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,727 Fuck, marry, kill. 59 00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:33,106 There's only two of them. 60 00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,150 Three of us. 61 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:37,694 It'll pass the time. 62 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:39,571 Hey, Einstein. 63 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,948 He knows his name. 64 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,284 Wanna play a game? 65 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,513 - Oh, sh... - Shit, you scared me. 66 00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,891 No, you scared me with that performance back there. 67 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,227 You should win an Oscar and use it like a dildo. 68 00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,979 Sorry, I just had to clear my head. 69 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,482 You got that gun on you? 70 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:20,568 Yeah, it's in my underwear drawer. What you think? 71 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,779 Go collect the guards from the bubble. Bring 'em to the chapel. 72 00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:24,989 Get Flaritza to help you, all right? 73 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,950 - Flaritza? - Yeah, that's their thing now. 74 00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:28,994 I'll see you in the chapel in ten minutes. 75 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,455 We gonna get organized. 76 00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,253 You need to bow out? 77 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:39,131 This is your chance, right here, right now. 78 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,134 All you gotta do is hand over the piece. 79 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,469 Nah, I got this. 80 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,595 Good. 81 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,348 - No more Girl, Interrupted shit, okay? - Wait, what does that mean? 82 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,894 - Like, letting people interrupt me? - Nah, it's, like, the whitest movie ever. 83 00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:56,189 Just don't act like a gringa mental case, okay? 84 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,693 I thought you said this shit was clickbait. 85 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:04,988 Be patient. All it takes is one retweet. 86 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:08,158 We was supposed to be "Hamster With a Burrito." 87 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,994 - Instead, we nothin' but Side Boob. - Mmm-hmm. 88 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,413 Hey, "Workers in the Mine" has over 1,100 views. 89 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,957 Yeah? Well, how many of those was from your mama? 90 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:19,002 Ooh, ya burnt! 91 00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,630 That'll do it. 92 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,715 State your business. 93 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,218 Oh, shit, they got Jefe. 94 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,511 They don't "got" me. 95 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,932 Kinda looks that way. 96 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,390 Business? 97 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,850 Ruiz is havin' a little orientation in the chapel. 98 00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,602 A reorientation. 99 00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:38,063 - Pass. - Yeah. 100 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,982 Where I come from, you don't hang with bitches packin' caliber. 101 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,858 That guard only took one bullet. 102 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,402 Too many left. 103 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,448 Yeah, we keepin' this here a no-violence zone. 104 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,160 A no-gun zone. 105 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,745 We cool with Spam cans in socks. 106 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:55,830 Hey, your call. 107 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,874 Look, we was just tryin' to have a racially inclusive riot and shit. 108 00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:00,085 Wait, a guard was shot? 109 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,295 Yeah, but he ain't dead or nothin'. 110 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,714 - Yeah... - Yo, we got a comment, y'all. 111 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,634 Yo, here come a revolution! 112 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:11,889 Hold up. "Earn up to $1,200 a week from home." 113 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,475 Looks like the spam escaped your socks. 114 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:18,188 Wait, you can make that kinda money from home? 115 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:23,942 So I'm asking you to poke your head in. See who's takin' charge. 116 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,402 It's just a meeting. I'm sure it'll be civilized. 117 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,702 Well, that does not seem very PC. 118 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,080 Or is it allowed if you're darker than a Band-Aid? 119 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,916 I'm not ready to be around people yet. 120 00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:42,918 And maybe that includes you. 121 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,545 You should go. 122 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,007 I'm not in uniform. 123 00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:48,924 And you're nice and anonymous. 124 00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:50,635 Anonymous? 125 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,720 There are, like, four Asian girls in this prison 126 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,430 and my girlfriend just died. 127 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,766 Oh, so let them comfort you, then. 128 00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,393 Well, I can't go out there. 129 00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,519 When there's a revolution, 130 00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:02,605 who do you think it is that gets guillotined first? 131 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,190 - The one percent. - Marie-Antoinette. 132 00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:05,650 - The one percent. - That's right. 133 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,818 And I intend to keep this one-percent neck. 134 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,904 I had it contoured last January 135 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:13,824 after Colicchio told me that it had more rings than a Swiss roll. 136 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:17,203 But I told him he looked like a manscaped scrotum, 137 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:20,792 which is less poetic, but extremely apt. 138 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,088 You're scared. 139 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,672 That's a new shade from you. 140 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,216 - "Darker than a Band-Aid." - Oh, darling... 141 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:34,720 - I have been terrified this whole time. - Bullshit. 142 00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:37,182 You have had this place wrapped around your finger, 143 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,100 but now you just lost your protectors. 144 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,188 So I'm in the market for replacements. 145 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,730 Look, I wasn't supposed to be here anymore. 146 00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:47,358 All right? I was supposed to be out. 147 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,036 Hmm. 148 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,745 - The books... - Mmm-hmm. 149 00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:01,539 She'd want me to make sure that they're safe. 150 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:07,004 Rest assured, I will play the role of stern but foxy librarian to the hilt. 151 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,269 All right. You can do it. 152 00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,447 Guys, wait up! 153 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,167 Aw, can we keep her? 154 00:09:36,170 --> 00:09:38,659 If you promise to feed her and walk her every day. 155 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,453 And she never comes into our bed. 156 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,667 You are very long-legged women. Ooh, are we seeing a movie? 157 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:50,004 I heard he was shooting all the Muslims execution style. 158 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,465 - I heard it was an inmate. - No, it was Humps. 159 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,008 The guy's a psycho. 160 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,345 Humps is a name? 161 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,097 Who's the ranking officer here? 162 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,517 Rick Hopper. I'm the captain over at the Max facility. 163 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:03,934 CO Piscatella is your man up here. 164 00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,520 - Where is he? - I don't know. 165 00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:07,438 Still inside, maybe. I'm guessing. 166 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,245 It's a developing situation. 167 00:10:09,248 --> 00:10:11,984 - What are your orders? - Orders? 168 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,986 We don't even know whose jurisdiction this is yet. 169 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,696 If it's a mass shooter, it's the feds. 170 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,532 If it's a prison riot, chain starts at MCC, 171 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,324 and if it's a cat up a tree, that's you guys. 172 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:20,576 Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh? 173 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:23,204 - They were yelling, "Attica." - So it's a riot. 174 00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,997 We're not gonna jump to conclusions. 175 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:27,375 I'd rather it be a riot than a shooter any day. 176 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,877 Inmates can't organize. And lady inmates? 177 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,337 Come on. I give 'em 15, 20 minutes 178 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,588 before they're all pulling each other's hair 179 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,634 and begging us to come back inside. 180 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:39,137 - Ma'am. - Mmm-hmm. 181 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,431 You think they care about us? 182 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,225 No! 183 00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:47,270 Do they care if we live or die? 184 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,313 - No! - "Do they care if we live or die?" 185 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,690 They care about money! 186 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,650 "They care about the money." 187 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,485 Sí! 188 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,404 - "Yes." - I got that. 189 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,739 We are done getting shit on. 190 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:03,494 From now on, we're the ones doing the shitting! 191 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,621 "We are the shitters." 192 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,498 Yeah, everything sounds better in Spanish. 193 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,791 We're here, 194 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:13,296 in this situation, 'cause of how they been running this place, 195 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,555 and now that we in charge, 196 00:11:15,558 --> 00:11:16,891 we gonna do better. 197 00:11:18,063 --> 00:11:19,971 Speak English! 198 00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:22,181 Fine. 199 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,852 This motherfucking meeting is called to order! 200 00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,065 Welcome to Litchfield 2.0! 201 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:37,612 Still busted-ass, but getting better by the minute. 202 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,989 Now, 203 00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:43,784 because you're such a special fucking audience, 204 00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,828 we got a free riot giveaway for you. 205 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,455 Now don't fight, okay? 206 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,790 You get a phone, you get a phone, 207 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,959 you get a phone! 208 00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,880 You get a phone! 209 00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:57,715 Ass phones, toti phones... Everybody gets a phone! 210 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,592 Not everybody. Don't say everybody. 211 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,511 Lots of people get phones! 212 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,973 Welcome to the 21st century, bitches. 213 00:12:04,552 --> 00:12:05,973 You got chargers? 214 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:08,183 We got no power, pendeja. Use 'em till they die. 215 00:12:09,117 --> 00:12:10,728 Well, that was pretty exciting, huh? 216 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,939 I can't hear you! 217 00:12:15,494 --> 00:12:19,068 Now, hold onto your pants because we got something real special comin' up. 218 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,698 Hey, bring 'em in! 219 00:12:26,725 --> 00:12:28,578 Any of you little bitches let go of that rope, 220 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,955 we shoot you in the head. 221 00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:31,832 Don't push me. 222 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,710 You know, I'm having, like, a total kindergarten flashback. 223 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,380 The shooting in the head part, or the holding the rope part? 224 00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:38,591 Both. 225 00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,387 You're stepping on my foot. 226 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,681 It's not like I'm doing it on purpose. I can't see. 227 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:50,142 - Okay, I'm out. - Sit, sit, sit. 228 00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:53,938 Do you really wanna call attention to us right now? 229 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,483 Are those actual guards? 230 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,153 This all we got? 231 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,197 There's two still locked in the kitchen 232 00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:05,074 with those bald bitches. 233 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,077 Oh. 234 00:13:06,666 --> 00:13:08,002 Too bad... 235 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:13,583 They're gonna miss all the fun. 236 00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,000 Strip search. 237 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,170 You just love yelling shit out, don't you? 238 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:27,179 How are you holding up, pretty lady? 239 00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,223 Uh, where's Dr. DePalma? 240 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,683 He had to run, 241 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:33,436 but we will take very good care of you. 242 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:36,858 Oh, you can't fool me. You're a nurse. 243 00:13:38,592 --> 00:13:40,693 She cuts hair. 244 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,236 Well, lucky for you. 245 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,656 If you're nice, I'll fix that mess on your head. 246 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,201 Looks like Danita's work. 247 00:13:47,918 --> 00:13:49,545 How's the pain, scale of one to ten? 248 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,206 Six. 249 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:56,626 - Maybe seven. - There's no wrong answer. 250 00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,170 Oh. 251 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,633 BP's okay: 138/82. 252 00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:04,842 Good. 253 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:05,887 Burset? 254 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,890 Sorry, sorry. 255 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,769 Where'd you go? 256 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,061 I've been through something. 257 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,900 We can work on that. 258 00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:22,752 There's people in real pain here. 259 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:28,949 You think he'll die? 260 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,244 I hope so. 261 00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:32,163 He deserves it. 262 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,833 You think I deserve it? 263 00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:38,545 He got in your head. 264 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:43,090 - Got in my head. - Well, maybe he's already dead... 265 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,678 and we're already dead, and this is limbo. 266 00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:50,890 It does kinda look like it. 267 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,814 Change his IV bag. I'll hook up his catheter. 268 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,315 You get all the fun stuff. 269 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,366 - Make sure you squeeze out the bubbles. - I know. 270 00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:06,081 - It's not my first rodeo. - Yeah, um... 271 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:08,739 Are we in limbo? 272 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,535 Sure as shit we in limbo. 273 00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,081 Mmm-hmm. 274 00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,542 Mmm-hmm. 275 00:15:18,731 --> 00:15:19,877 If you ask me... 276 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:24,547 this looks like a pretty nasty group of criminals. 277 00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,509 And they're gathering in groups of four or more. 278 00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,178 So where should we start first? 279 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,472 Chocolate City, huh? 280 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,309 Or Vanilla Suburbs? 281 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,439 Looks like we have a winner. 282 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,940 Oh, but wait a minute. 283 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,859 Isn't that racial profiling? 284 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:45,943 Yes. 285 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,112 But we don't do that here in Litchfield, right? 286 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:54,537 - Look what I found. - Oh! Whoa. 287 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,498 Looks like somebody's going in the hole. 288 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,250 You want me to go in his hole? 289 00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:03,718 No, no, hold off. We gotta build to that. 290 00:16:03,721 --> 00:16:05,254 That's actually my insulin. 291 00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:07,131 My insulin now, Chocolate City. 292 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,758 I'm from rural Michigan. 293 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,510 Let's check out the suburbs now, shall we? 294 00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:12,219 Yeah, that's right, ladies... 295 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,428 Oh, no. 296 00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:15,640 Go deep. 297 00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:19,188 Who knows what weapons he could be hiding, huh? 298 00:16:19,191 --> 00:16:20,765 Oh, shit, his dick's hard. 299 00:16:20,768 --> 00:16:23,062 What? Oh! 300 00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,192 That happens when I get scared. 301 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,194 Or turned on. 302 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,659 Please. I gave you tampons. 303 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:35,993 We have a bond. 304 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:39,955 Relax! You have a nice figure. Don't get all body shamey. 305 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,166 Your boobs are real creamy. 306 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,377 Mmm-hmm. 307 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,630 Looks like we haven't found that much yet. 308 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:49,507 What else could we do? 309 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,425 Go spelunking. 310 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,510 The fuck is that? 311 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,303 Cave dive! 312 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,520 I'm not sure I like prison. 313 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,146 Oh, come on. Give it a chance. 314 00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:05,869 You don't think that they're really gonna... 315 00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:10,027 Hmm... 316 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,615 This kinda reminds me of pledge week. 317 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,492 - Fuck Sankey, I guess. - Mmm-mmm. 318 00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:19,161 No, you gotta look past the hair, man. 319 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:22,289 I mean, imagine the big one with Sankey's hair. 320 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:24,418 So you glue her scalp onto her head, 321 00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:27,171 you got a Pamela fucking Anderson. 322 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,296 Pamela who? 323 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,423 What, really? 324 00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,759 Who did you wank to, growing up? 325 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,806 We, uh, weren't allowed. 326 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,890 Yeah, no one's allowed, man. 327 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,391 Hey, you suck. 328 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,770 You and your stupid blue shirt. 329 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:45,896 She's talking about you. 330 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,189 Uh, what're you doing? 331 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:49,441 Haven't you heard of negging? It's a seduction technique. 332 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,362 Hey, I fuckin' hate you. 333 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,321 Um, okay. 334 00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:58,826 Helen? 335 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,079 I'm winking. 336 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,707 That's blinking. You're blinking. Winking is one eye. 337 00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,208 That's batting. She's batting. 338 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,668 - Winking. - Blinking. 339 00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:08,755 Batting. 340 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:11,839 Oh, wait. No, now it looks like she's got a tic. 341 00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:14,176 - She's ticking. - Just cut it out. 342 00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:16,844 It's all subjective, man. 343 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:19,805 Come on, look at her tits! How are those subjective? 344 00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,891 And she got those DSLs, you know? 345 00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:25,019 Digital subscriber lines? 346 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:27,021 Dick-sucking lips. Jesus, man! 347 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,147 Is there even come in these veins? 348 00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,815 - Huh? Yeah? - Shut up! I have come! 349 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,609 It's not gonna get better than this, boys. 350 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,322 All right, moment of truth. 351 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,950 Got it. Fuck Helen, marry Sankey, and then you kill Brandy. 352 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,911 Nah, I gotta say... 353 00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,829 Fuck Sankey, marry Helen, 354 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,414 kill Brandy. 355 00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:47,171 Man, I am not made of stone. 356 00:18:47,174 --> 00:18:49,293 You and me, blondie. Let's do this. 357 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,922 Wait, I thought this was a hypothe... 358 00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:55,301 What was that? 359 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:59,053 - Oh, fuck. It's a fucking dart! - Well, get it out. Get it out, man! 360 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,255 All right. 361 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,766 There you go. Got it. 362 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:06,435 Motherfuck! Oh! 363 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,772 Hey, nice knowing you, boys. 364 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,318 What? Hey! What do you mean, huh? 365 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,488 Well, the poison acts quick. Better save your strength. 366 00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:28,793 Show me Polaris. 367 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:33,128 There. In Ursa Minor's tail. 368 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,964 And how do you find south? 369 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,215 Orion. 370 00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,175 Daddy, this is little-girl stuff. 371 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,760 And you're my little girl. 372 00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:41,303 Name the stars in his belt. 373 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,889 Alnitak, Alnilam, Mintaka. 374 00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,557 Okay, wise guy. 375 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:48,060 What do you do if it's a cloudy night? 376 00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:49,856 Hope for the best? 377 00:19:50,452 --> 00:19:53,190 Sometimes, knowledge can be dangerous. 378 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,608 When you know the right word for something, 379 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,238 it can make you overconfident, dull your senses. 380 00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,532 The planet always has something to teach you. 381 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:05,662 The second you're sure you know where you are, you're lost. 382 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,708 The second you're lost... 383 00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:10,918 you're dead. 384 00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:15,295 Told you to wear your dungarees. 385 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,089 You're gonna freeze in that getup. 386 00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:18,718 I'm not cold. I'm fine. 387 00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,512 You sure are cleanin' up there. 388 00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:26,726 I'm only missing two. Ice Skating and Troop Dramatics. 389 00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:29,854 When you really know something... 390 00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,815 you don't need a badge for it. 391 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:35,567 Bon appétit. 392 00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,010 Dad! 393 00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:03,637 Daddy. 394 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:08,559 Daddy! 395 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,521 Dad! 396 00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:45,427 - What the hell is this? - Desi! They didn't get you. 397 00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:47,888 - Boy, that's a load off. - There have been shots fired, 398 00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,514 the inmates have seized the warden, 399 00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,851 and you thought you'd throw a fucking tailgate party 400 00:21:51,853 --> 00:21:54,061 in the parking lot? Jesus, Ricky. 401 00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:56,230 The warden's in there? How do you know that? 402 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:58,065 'Cause they made a fucking video. 403 00:21:58,067 --> 00:21:59,942 Think it might be time to storm? 404 00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:01,624 If we storm, we're only gonna escalate it. 405 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:03,739 So escalate it! 406 00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:08,742 The best move is to let it die out. 407 00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,995 They don't know what they're doing. 408 00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:12,748 You don't know them like I do. 409 00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:25,634 That is one gay table. 410 00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:28,512 Look how the napkins 411 00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:31,681 match the little gingerbread houses exactly. 412 00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:34,268 If you like Christmas in Vienna, 413 00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:36,979 wait till you see Arabian Fantasy. 414 00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:38,063 Ooh! 415 00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:45,654 Man, for every year we in here it's like 100 Internet years. 416 00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:47,990 - Mmm. - We ain't never gonna catch up. 417 00:22:47,992 --> 00:22:51,201 We gonna be like my momma tryin' to work her DVDs. 418 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,662 Like, now, there's an app for scorin' dope. 419 00:22:53,664 --> 00:22:56,957 You know how many bitches in here would be free people if they had that shit? 420 00:22:56,959 --> 00:22:59,168 I make my daughter teach me all the new stuff. 421 00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:01,086 That helps a little. 422 00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:02,754 You never said you had a daughter. 423 00:23:02,756 --> 00:23:04,383 Well, you never asked. 424 00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:08,010 Oh, hold up. 425 00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:09,636 We been retweeted. 426 00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:11,221 Praise black Jesus! 427 00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:14,266 - Show. - All right. There's the link. 428 00:23:14,268 --> 00:23:15,602 Hashtag. 429 00:23:16,895 --> 00:23:19,479 "Black lattes matter." 430 00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:20,939 - What? - Lattes? 431 00:23:22,193 --> 00:23:24,151 Oh. 432 00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:30,699 What the... 433 00:23:30,701 --> 00:23:33,245 They ain't got me up there with Sarah Palin... 434 00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:38,123 Whoa. 435 00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:39,896 That shit is meta. 436 00:23:39,899 --> 00:23:41,751 That don't even make no sense. 437 00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:44,629 "Black lattes matter"? Lattes got milk. 438 00:23:44,631 --> 00:23:47,466 That's what make 'em lattes. Ain't no "black latte," 439 00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:50,469 'cause that would make it, like, iced coffee or somethin'. 440 00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:54,181 That's a, uh... What do you call that? Oxymormon? 441 00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:55,726 It's all a joke. 442 00:23:57,811 --> 00:23:59,271 You okay, T? 443 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,356 The whole point... 444 00:24:02,358 --> 00:24:05,692 was to tell the world about Poussey. 445 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:08,278 Tell 'em what happened to our girl, man! 446 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,906 People don't care! 447 00:24:18,273 --> 00:24:19,522 If we're already dead, 448 00:24:19,525 --> 00:24:21,832 maybe it wouldn't be murder if we killed him again. 449 00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:25,212 We could prop his feet up a little bit above his head, 450 00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:27,506 so the blood all goes to one end. 451 00:24:27,508 --> 00:24:29,508 I hear that's really bad for you. 452 00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:31,260 No, that could take a while. 453 00:24:31,262 --> 00:24:33,053 We could take the feathers out of his pillow 454 00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:34,763 and savagely tickle him to death. 455 00:24:34,765 --> 00:24:37,559 That's too gentle. 456 00:24:41,522 --> 00:24:45,565 Or... we could get a big jar of fire ants, 457 00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,567 and they could nibble at him. 458 00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:49,778 Yeah, better. 459 00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:53,323 - But you should get some honey. - Honey? 460 00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:55,242 Lead the ants where you want. 461 00:24:55,244 --> 00:24:58,620 Do you want them to go in the guy's ears and eat his brain? 462 00:24:58,622 --> 00:24:59,915 Or his eyes? 463 00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:05,879 You don't want ants wandering all over. You want them organized. 464 00:25:07,631 --> 00:25:09,633 - Where am I? - Purgatory. 465 00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:11,635 Really? 466 00:25:13,429 --> 00:25:14,761 No! 467 00:25:14,763 --> 00:25:16,890 Lezzies go straight to hell. 468 00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:22,769 What are some other ways you might kill someone? 469 00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,563 Oh, you can get really creative. 470 00:25:24,565 --> 00:25:28,608 In the Middle Ages, they would do this cool thing. 471 00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:31,778 They'd attach a cage full of rats to a guy's stomach. 472 00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:34,030 And then they'd put candles on top of the cage, 473 00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:38,202 and the rats would burrow into the guy's stomach to escape the heat. 474 00:25:38,204 --> 00:25:42,747 I had a scene like that in Time Hump, except the rats were penises. 475 00:25:42,749 --> 00:25:44,291 And it wasn't a stomach. 476 00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:47,252 The Flesh Towers of Infamy. 477 00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:49,463 It's not super practical, of course. 478 00:25:49,465 --> 00:25:53,469 You gotta get a cage, and you gotta get rats... 479 00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:58,474 Sometimes it's best to just use whatever's available on hand. 480 00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:08,148 Come on! 481 00:26:08,150 --> 00:26:10,942 Open the door, Flores. 482 00:26:10,944 --> 00:26:12,194 Yeah. 483 00:26:12,196 --> 00:26:14,070 I prefer not. 484 00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:15,989 How'd you like ten more years in prison? 485 00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:18,111 I don't mind it so much now that we running the place. 486 00:26:18,619 --> 00:26:22,429 Go to the chapel. Tell Maria the Jolly Gay Giant is back. 487 00:26:24,979 --> 00:26:26,229 When I get in there, 488 00:26:26,231 --> 00:26:29,753 I'm going to personally take you apart, Piscatella style. 489 00:26:29,755 --> 00:26:30,879 If you can find me. 490 00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:32,966 I know we all look alike to you. 491 00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:41,556 Is this what you mean by "Piscatella style"? 492 00:26:41,558 --> 00:26:43,016 Is that supposed to embarrass me? 493 00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:46,395 That took grand prize at the Dutchess County Fair. 494 00:26:46,397 --> 00:26:47,812 I could not be prouder. 495 00:26:47,814 --> 00:26:51,900 The blind cannot see, the proud will not. 496 00:26:51,902 --> 00:26:56,655 Well, my vision's 20-20, lady, and all I see is awesome. 497 00:26:56,657 --> 00:27:00,700 And in a matter of minutes, we are going to take back this prison, 498 00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:03,787 and you are going to be cooking roaches in Seg 499 00:27:03,789 --> 00:27:05,914 for the rest of your sorry life. 500 00:27:05,916 --> 00:27:08,001 Can you see that? 501 00:27:13,715 --> 00:27:15,759 I see many things. 502 00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:20,220 Is that a Russian proverb? 503 00:27:20,222 --> 00:27:21,930 That blind-proud thing? 504 00:27:21,932 --> 00:27:23,640 Real Russians have no proverbs. 505 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,727 We have vodka and misery. 506 00:27:28,063 --> 00:27:31,275 Wait. That was a proverb. 507 00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:36,027 Squat and cough! Squat and cough! 508 00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:37,196 Squat and cough! 509 00:27:37,198 --> 00:27:39,198 No, don't. 510 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,825 My bad, ladies. Seriously. 511 00:27:41,827 --> 00:27:44,578 Lesson learned. Mea fuckin' culpa. 512 00:27:44,580 --> 00:27:46,830 Look at his Smurf dick. 513 00:27:46,832 --> 00:27:48,915 How is it a Smurf dick? Smurfs are blue. 514 00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:50,082 It's not not blue. 515 00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:51,917 It's small with a droopy hat. 516 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,996 That's Smurf enough for me. 517 00:27:53,999 --> 00:27:56,465 Hey, Cabrera, you got this. 518 00:27:58,552 --> 00:28:00,176 Really? You don't wanna? 519 00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:02,221 A good leader delegates. 520 00:28:04,516 --> 00:28:07,060 - Looks like we goin' to fifth base. - Oh, Jesus. 521 00:28:08,061 --> 00:28:10,520 Don't worry. I got talented fingers. 522 00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:13,607 Oh, please. I'm so sorry. 523 00:28:15,569 --> 00:28:18,447 Please stop. There's nothing in there. 524 00:28:22,649 --> 00:28:24,743 Yo, this is getting kinda messed up. 525 00:28:24,745 --> 00:28:27,537 Yeah, if they're gonna kill 'em, they should just kill 'em. 526 00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:29,414 - How're you okay with this? - I'm not... 527 00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:33,084 I'm not okay with this, Alex. We just need to be quiet, or they'll... 528 00:28:33,086 --> 00:28:35,922 I'm not gonna be quiet. This is fucking insane. 529 00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:46,723 I don't wanna be a part of this. 530 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:48,975 Most of us have done nothing wrong yet, 531 00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:52,020 so why should we all go down because Diaz shot a guard? 532 00:28:52,022 --> 00:28:53,897 Lots of us did shit we're guilty for. 533 00:28:53,899 --> 00:28:55,609 Not just Daya. 534 00:28:58,404 --> 00:29:01,365 Good luck with your Rumsfeld dinner theater. I'm out. 535 00:29:05,869 --> 00:29:07,577 The big gay is back! 536 00:29:07,579 --> 00:29:08,662 Piscatella? 537 00:29:08,664 --> 00:29:10,529 - He's trying to storm. - Let him. 538 00:29:10,532 --> 00:29:12,416 We could take down that walking tree. 539 00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:17,086 Great, so more of us can end up like the little black hooch maker? 540 00:29:17,088 --> 00:29:18,880 How does Ruiz always end up in charge? 541 00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:21,049 We gotta look into that. 542 00:29:21,051 --> 00:29:22,303 You think you can do better? 543 00:29:23,178 --> 00:29:25,970 I can't answer that right now. I gotta think about it. 544 00:29:25,972 --> 00:29:27,472 Just shoot Piscatella. 545 00:29:27,475 --> 00:29:29,558 - We got the gun, don't we? - Yeah. 546 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,142 Oh, so you're in charge now? 547 00:29:31,144 --> 00:29:32,854 Never take on a heckler. 548 00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:41,361 Ah! Enough! 549 00:29:41,363 --> 00:29:45,574 The gun ain't gonna beat all the guns they got out there. 550 00:29:45,576 --> 00:29:48,161 What we got are hostages. 551 00:29:49,079 --> 00:29:52,456 If it wasn't for them, they'd have burned this place down already. 552 00:29:52,458 --> 00:29:54,958 And whatever you feel about what Daya did, 553 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,669 the only way out is for us to come together. 554 00:29:57,671 --> 00:30:00,714 We gotta show them on the outside that we got their people, 555 00:30:00,716 --> 00:30:03,719 and they're fine now, but that could change. 556 00:30:05,095 --> 00:30:06,262 It'll buy us time. 557 00:30:07,055 --> 00:30:08,264 Time? 558 00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:12,394 To figure out what the fuck we gonna do. 559 00:30:15,731 --> 00:30:17,271 Who else we got out there? 560 00:30:17,273 --> 00:30:18,773 The black girls have Caputo. 561 00:30:18,775 --> 00:30:21,818 Those guards in the kitchen. The one with the hair you wanna sit on? 562 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:23,069 And the one with the hot mouth. 563 00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:25,154 Hair sitting? Is that a thing? 564 00:30:25,156 --> 00:30:27,451 Everything's a thing. 565 00:30:28,702 --> 00:30:30,201 And Humps. 566 00:30:30,203 --> 00:30:31,622 Fuckin' Humps. 567 00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:39,671 Time for a family photo. 568 00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:44,466 Best day ever. 569 00:30:44,468 --> 00:30:47,719 This is better than the time my mom let me babysit my little sister... 570 00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:51,848 and I made her eat Alpo Gravy Cravers wet dog food for dinner. 571 00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:53,767 She was a little bitch. 572 00:30:53,769 --> 00:30:55,769 I really wanna just take a nap. 573 00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:58,021 Come on! You the gangsta with the gun. 574 00:30:58,023 --> 00:30:59,230 Bangers don't nap. 575 00:30:59,232 --> 00:31:01,566 You're tired a lot lately. You should maybe check your iron. 576 00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:03,360 What if Caputo doesn't wanna come with us? 577 00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:05,236 Dude used to be a boxer or some shit. 578 00:31:05,238 --> 00:31:07,781 So, then you point the gun at his head and he'll change his mind. 579 00:31:07,783 --> 00:31:11,412 If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell Maria? 580 00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:13,580 Yeah, okay. 581 00:31:15,666 --> 00:31:16,792 It's gone. 582 00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:19,461 - You not tired anymore? - The gun? 583 00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:21,922 I lost it. 584 00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:23,797 How do you lose a gun? 585 00:31:23,799 --> 00:31:25,339 I don't know. Somebody knocked me out. 586 00:31:25,341 --> 00:31:27,551 I wake up, and I'm this person who's supposed to have power, 587 00:31:27,553 --> 00:31:28,927 and I just fucking shot someone. 588 00:31:28,929 --> 00:31:31,054 Shit, I hate when people cry. 589 00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:33,848 Hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay. 590 00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:36,810 We've all pretended to have guns that we don't have. 591 00:31:36,812 --> 00:31:38,702 - Right? - Sure. 592 00:31:38,705 --> 00:31:40,980 I'll show you how I make everyone think I got a gun. 593 00:31:40,982 --> 00:31:42,651 I'm like a expert. 594 00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:53,367 One thing I know, never let them move you to a second location. 595 00:31:53,369 --> 00:31:54,705 That's when they kill you. 596 00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:57,371 Nobody's killing anybody. 597 00:31:57,373 --> 00:31:59,833 They need us alive to negotiate. 598 00:31:59,835 --> 00:32:02,711 Uh, think of any hostage movie ever. 599 00:32:02,713 --> 00:32:04,253 The hostages always die. 600 00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:06,923 They act like whiny bitches, and then they die. 601 00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:10,386 What're you talking about? Hostages never die. 602 00:32:11,472 --> 00:32:14,013 Air Force One, they're safe. 603 00:32:14,015 --> 00:32:15,308 Speed, safe. 604 00:32:16,685 --> 00:32:18,770 Well, what about the black guy driving a bus? 605 00:32:19,675 --> 00:32:20,757 That's one. 606 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,523 And the black guy in Assault on Precinct 13? 607 00:32:23,525 --> 00:32:26,400 And the black guard in Dog Day has an asthma attack. 608 00:32:26,402 --> 00:32:28,279 I'm sensing a pattern here. 609 00:32:29,405 --> 00:32:31,656 What, are you saying we're safe because we're white? 610 00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:34,158 If we were in a movie, I'd say that. 611 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:35,994 But we're not in a movie. 612 00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:37,996 Horror movies are even worse. 613 00:32:37,998 --> 00:32:40,373 Black one's always toast. 614 00:32:40,375 --> 00:32:42,542 And by the way, one of the hostages 615 00:32:42,544 --> 00:32:44,295 does die in Air Force One. 616 00:32:45,839 --> 00:32:46,921 Which one? 617 00:32:46,923 --> 00:32:48,592 The PR person. 618 00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:51,720 Oh, yeah. 619 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:57,724 Oh, shit. 620 00:32:57,726 --> 00:32:59,227 Oh, shit. 621 00:33:00,479 --> 00:33:02,270 You gotta hand them over. 622 00:33:02,272 --> 00:33:03,730 We ain't gotta nothin'. 623 00:33:03,732 --> 00:33:05,899 I got a gun that says you do. 624 00:33:05,901 --> 00:33:07,484 Cool down, Diaz. 625 00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:09,571 I think we should settle this with words. 626 00:33:12,407 --> 00:33:14,699 This is how we show the outside that we got power. 627 00:33:14,701 --> 00:33:16,910 "We together and we got hostages. 628 00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:18,870 - What you gonna do?" - Negative. 629 00:33:18,872 --> 00:33:20,830 Not interested. 630 00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:22,874 Y'all give us a second. Come on. 631 00:33:22,876 --> 00:33:23,919 Come here. 632 00:33:27,798 --> 00:33:30,214 We agreed we didn't wanna mess with the guard shooters. 633 00:33:30,216 --> 00:33:32,133 - We got a good thing here. - Do we? 634 00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:34,343 'Cause it kinda feel like we ain't gettin' nowhere. 635 00:33:34,345 --> 00:33:37,681 And everybody else gettin' somewhere! 636 00:33:37,683 --> 00:33:41,309 Look, I know it ain't what you pictured, but, yo, we got a chance to be heard. 637 00:33:41,311 --> 00:33:44,228 And I ain't talking about no Internet-bullshit heard. 638 00:33:44,230 --> 00:33:48,484 I'm talking about Obama '08 hopey-changey heard. 639 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,236 Y'all look, workin' across tribes, 640 00:33:52,238 --> 00:33:54,781 bein' postracial and shit. 641 00:33:54,783 --> 00:33:56,451 Yo, it's what P would've wanted. 642 00:33:58,954 --> 00:34:01,735 Yo, look at Cindy talkin' postracial and fartin' rainbows. 643 00:34:01,738 --> 00:34:05,376 There's more strength in a single, unified message. 644 00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:07,836 I mean... y'all need to listen to me. 645 00:34:07,838 --> 00:34:10,589 I'm like six sh'mahs away from bein' a rabbi. 646 00:34:10,591 --> 00:34:11,758 Mmm. 647 00:34:23,236 --> 00:34:24,644 We're in. 648 00:34:24,646 --> 00:34:27,983 But we move 'em ourselves. And they still ours. 649 00:34:28,859 --> 00:34:30,193 Works for us. 650 00:34:35,156 --> 00:34:36,823 Get ready, kids. 651 00:34:36,825 --> 00:34:39,410 We goin' on a trip. 652 00:34:41,537 --> 00:34:44,664 I can't even see anybody. You sure this is the place? 653 00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:46,750 She said they'd bring Judy out a side entrance, 654 00:34:46,752 --> 00:34:48,668 dodge the paparazzi. 655 00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:50,881 - Dodge the paparazzi? - I don't know. 656 00:34:52,465 --> 00:34:54,217 I'm checking the other side. 657 00:34:56,052 --> 00:34:57,053 Fine. 658 00:34:59,555 --> 00:35:02,766 So, how are you feeling about the homecoming? 659 00:35:02,768 --> 00:35:04,934 I've been doin' my stamina exercises. 660 00:35:04,936 --> 00:35:06,811 Yeah. 661 00:35:06,813 --> 00:35:08,813 Two months for that conjugal visit. 662 00:35:08,815 --> 00:35:11,693 Tonight's gonna be like a trip to Splash Mountain. 663 00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:14,402 - See? - Oh, yeah. 664 00:35:14,404 --> 00:35:16,237 - Other entrance. - Yeah. 665 00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:30,752 Hey! What... what are you doing? 666 00:35:30,754 --> 00:35:33,004 Making an awesome fort in B-Dorm. 667 00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:35,632 - Those aren't yours! - We're borrowing them! 668 00:35:35,634 --> 00:35:37,759 - No! - This is a library. 669 00:35:37,761 --> 00:35:40,138 Stop! 670 00:35:43,809 --> 00:35:46,517 No, these are hers. 671 00:35:46,519 --> 00:35:47,601 What? 672 00:35:47,603 --> 00:35:49,397 Get it? They're hers! 673 00:35:50,649 --> 00:35:52,565 Well, are you gonna fucking say anything? 674 00:35:52,567 --> 00:35:54,567 Noise canceling. Sorry, what? 675 00:35:54,569 --> 00:35:56,279 These things really work. 676 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:14,713 - I feel weird. - Does your mouth taste like metal? 677 00:36:14,715 --> 00:36:17,841 Wolfsbane, such a useful flower. 678 00:36:17,843 --> 00:36:20,509 The Greeks used it to poison their arrows. 679 00:36:20,511 --> 00:36:25,475 Two thousand years later, the Germans used it to poison their bullets. 680 00:36:26,687 --> 00:36:28,019 We should really go to medical. 681 00:36:28,022 --> 00:36:29,728 Yeah, we go out there, they're all gonna kill us. 682 00:36:29,730 --> 00:36:31,354 The fun thing about wolfsbane is, 683 00:36:31,356 --> 00:36:33,815 it works from the outside in. 684 00:36:33,817 --> 00:36:37,485 Most people feel a little tingle in the fingertips first, 685 00:36:37,487 --> 00:36:40,739 as the smallest nerves are paralyzed. 686 00:36:40,741 --> 00:36:45,576 Then, it makes its way, ever so slowly, to your heart, 687 00:36:45,578 --> 00:36:48,997 closing around it like an icy fist. 688 00:36:48,999 --> 00:36:51,415 Something to look forward to. 689 00:36:51,417 --> 00:36:54,002 - Shit, I feel the finger thing. - Me, too. 690 00:36:54,004 --> 00:36:56,339 It's not too painful as deaths go. 691 00:36:57,215 --> 00:37:01,384 Except the part where your lungs deflate like an old condom. 692 00:37:01,386 --> 00:37:02,593 Oh, fuck! 693 00:37:02,595 --> 00:37:04,929 Of course, I'd be happy to mix you some antidote 694 00:37:04,931 --> 00:37:08,559 if I wasn't trapped in this closet with two cue balls and a dirty mop. 695 00:37:09,352 --> 00:37:10,935 What do we do? 696 00:37:10,937 --> 00:37:13,062 Fuck it. Let her out. 697 00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:14,147 Yeah. 698 00:37:14,149 --> 00:37:16,026 All right, the rest of you stay the fuck back! 699 00:37:19,570 --> 00:37:20,931 What the fuck? 700 00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:24,959 Oh, Jesus! Get the fuck off of me. 701 00:37:25,786 --> 00:37:26,951 Team! Work! 702 00:37:28,496 --> 00:37:30,413 Hey, give us the antidote! 703 00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:32,331 We had a deal! 704 00:37:32,333 --> 00:37:36,481 You really think wolfsbane was just growing in the pantry? 705 00:37:36,484 --> 00:37:38,712 - Suckers. - You mean... 706 00:37:40,465 --> 00:37:42,591 You are one bad bitch. 707 00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:44,135 So long, girls. 708 00:37:44,137 --> 00:37:45,636 And by the way, 709 00:37:45,638 --> 00:37:48,892 fuck Stratman, marry Blake, kill Piscatella. 710 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,977 She wants to fuck me. Ow! 711 00:38:33,437 --> 00:38:36,270 ♪ Nature Scouts are on the go ♪ 712 00:38:36,272 --> 00:38:39,065 ♪ Watch us sprout and watch us grow ♪ 713 00:38:39,067 --> 00:38:41,984 ♪ Hiking, camping, crafts galore ♪ 714 00:38:41,986 --> 00:38:45,029 ♪ And we make the tasty s'mores ♪ 715 00:38:45,031 --> 00:38:48,534 ♪ Sound off sound off ♪ 716 00:40:06,487 --> 00:40:08,487 Yeah, speaking of honey, 717 00:40:08,489 --> 00:40:11,699 the ancient Persians did this thing where they would take a guy, 718 00:40:11,701 --> 00:40:15,619 put him in an old hollowed-out tree trunk and plant him in a swamp. 719 00:40:15,621 --> 00:40:19,123 Then cover him in honey, and after a few days, 720 00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:21,667 between the honey and his own feces, 721 00:40:21,669 --> 00:40:24,420 the maggots would really go to town. 722 00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:27,048 You know a lot about history. 723 00:40:27,050 --> 00:40:28,174 Oh, yeah. 724 00:40:28,176 --> 00:40:29,928 You gotta know what comes before you. 725 00:40:30,595 --> 00:40:33,554 The Chinese invented this thing called Lingchi. 726 00:40:33,556 --> 00:40:35,139 Oh, pickled cabbage, right? 727 00:40:35,141 --> 00:40:36,684 Kinda spicy? 728 00:40:37,329 --> 00:40:38,311 Lingchi. 729 00:40:39,229 --> 00:40:41,022 It means death of a thousand cuts. 730 00:40:41,856 --> 00:40:46,067 What they'd do is start by cutting off all the unnecessary stuff, 731 00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:48,236 the meat, like breasts and butts. 732 00:40:48,238 --> 00:40:53,201 And they could basically keep you alive till you were nothing but a beating heart. 733 00:40:54,369 --> 00:40:56,827 It's all so boring now. 734 00:40:56,829 --> 00:41:01,040 Those were the golden days. 735 00:41:01,042 --> 00:41:02,924 Sorry, I'm not sure I caught that. 736 00:41:02,927 --> 00:41:05,753 Those were the golden days... 737 00:41:05,755 --> 00:41:07,173 Um... 738 00:41:08,383 --> 00:41:10,174 Oh, yo, nice Indian dude. 739 00:41:10,176 --> 00:41:11,177 Little help! 740 00:41:14,222 --> 00:41:15,846 What's wrong with him? 741 00:41:15,848 --> 00:41:17,974 Sir, try and repeat after me. 742 00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:19,850 "Mary had a little lamb." 743 00:41:19,852 --> 00:41:22,103 Mary... 744 00:41:23,273 --> 00:41:25,478 Looks like cerebral ischemia. I need TPA, now. 745 00:41:25,481 --> 00:41:26,854 Copy that. 746 00:41:32,198 --> 00:41:36,325 Sometimes it's best to use what's available on hand. 747 00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:37,662 Like? 748 00:41:38,788 --> 00:41:42,123 Like blowing oxygen bubbles in his IV. 749 00:41:46,921 --> 00:41:48,131 You're welcome. 750 00:42:03,854 --> 00:42:05,815 We're all rooting for you, sir. 751 00:42:06,732 --> 00:42:09,525 Well, not really. This is awkward. 752 00:42:09,527 --> 00:42:11,196 Keep walking. 753 00:42:18,494 --> 00:42:20,121 You in flavor country. 754 00:42:26,586 --> 00:42:28,669 You like it? 755 00:42:30,256 --> 00:42:32,090 Incoming! 756 00:42:32,092 --> 00:42:35,593 Hey, Caputo. Did you want me to prescribe something for your dignity? 757 00:42:35,595 --> 00:42:37,136 Oh, shit, that doesn't exist. 758 00:42:37,138 --> 00:42:39,432 Yeah, but why not? Now, that would be useful. 759 00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:43,934 Oh, say it ain't so, Joe. 760 00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:46,520 Yo, they're the last ones. I think we got them all. 761 00:42:46,522 --> 00:42:49,148 Hey, that makes sense because we haven't seen 762 00:42:49,150 --> 00:42:50,274 any guards around here, 763 00:42:50,276 --> 00:42:52,735 and if we had... 'cause we would've caught 'em. 764 00:42:52,737 --> 00:42:56,157 And we would've not given 'em any love or any candy, huh? 765 00:42:57,492 --> 00:42:58,782 Right? 766 00:42:58,784 --> 00:43:01,871 You should've been in the CIA. I mean, you really missed your calling. 767 00:43:02,872 --> 00:43:05,164 This is not good. 768 00:43:05,166 --> 00:43:06,832 Not. Good. 769 00:43:06,834 --> 00:43:09,127 He looks like someone left a cake out in the rain. 770 00:43:09,129 --> 00:43:11,087 I love that song. 771 00:43:11,089 --> 00:43:12,090 Me, too! 772 00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:16,594 - Speak English, you guys. - Sorry. 773 00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:18,594 So what's wrong with him, anyway? 774 00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:19,720 He's had a stroke. 775 00:43:19,722 --> 00:43:22,265 It's difficult to assess the extent of the damage at this point. 776 00:43:22,267 --> 00:43:23,476 It is? 777 00:43:24,102 --> 00:43:26,227 Well, we're taking him anyway. Don't try to stop us. 778 00:43:26,229 --> 00:43:27,936 Nobody's stopping you. 779 00:43:27,938 --> 00:43:30,439 She doesn't have to point that thing at us. 780 00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:32,041 I think it's just her finger. 781 00:43:32,693 --> 00:43:34,320 No, it's not. 782 00:44:03,433 --> 00:44:04,559 Daddy? 783 00:44:10,273 --> 00:44:11,730 Fifteen and a half hours. 784 00:44:11,732 --> 00:44:14,525 - Did you make a mistake? - No. 785 00:44:14,527 --> 00:44:15,528 Frieda. 786 00:44:17,112 --> 00:44:18,614 I went swimmin'. 787 00:44:28,458 --> 00:44:30,751 In the future, there won't be room for mistakes. 788 00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:33,671 - You think the Reds make mistakes? - No. 789 00:44:34,589 --> 00:44:36,424 They're on the move now. See? 790 00:44:38,468 --> 00:44:39,802 I picked up their sonar. 791 00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:44,515 I'm hungry. 792 00:44:47,727 --> 00:44:48,769 Me, too. 793 00:44:49,812 --> 00:44:51,188 We'll heat up some TV dinners. 794 00:44:51,939 --> 00:44:53,357 Give your mama a kiss. 795 00:45:05,286 --> 00:45:07,661 It won't be long now, baby girl. 796 00:45:07,663 --> 00:45:10,207 It'll be fast and it'll be terrible. 797 00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:13,646 No one else in this damn country understands, not even McCarthy. 798 00:45:15,004 --> 00:45:17,796 But they're gonna get a heavy dose of reality. 799 00:45:17,798 --> 00:45:19,923 They're all gonna come knocking on that door up there, 800 00:45:19,925 --> 00:45:21,261 begging to be let in. 801 00:45:22,595 --> 00:45:23,929 But you'll be strong. 802 00:45:27,433 --> 00:45:28,684 You'll be ready. 803 00:47:23,132 --> 00:47:25,048 Lookee what we found! 804 00:47:25,050 --> 00:47:27,885 - I can't believe you bit me. - Delicious. 805 00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:29,887 I don't ever wanna be this close to him again, 806 00:47:29,889 --> 00:47:31,972 unless I'm kicking him. 807 00:47:31,974 --> 00:47:34,059 Don't be scared. I think his brain broke. 808 00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:39,772 Put one on his eye lid. 809 00:47:39,774 --> 00:47:41,651 - Like, to lift it. - Hmm. 810 00:47:45,070 --> 00:47:47,613 That's not bad. We could be, like, plastic surgeons. 811 00:47:47,615 --> 00:47:51,575 It's not Demi Moore good, but at least it's, like, Meg Ryan good. 812 00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:54,286 - Yeah, so we ready? - Maybe a little eyeliner? 813 00:47:54,288 --> 00:47:55,829 You know, to wake his eyes up. 814 00:47:55,831 --> 00:47:57,372 Yo, stop fucking around. 815 00:47:57,374 --> 00:47:59,877 Get him on stage. 816 00:48:01,421 --> 00:48:03,378 This ain't over. 817 00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:05,297 When we're done with you, 818 00:48:05,299 --> 00:48:08,133 your outside's gonna match your insides. 819 00:48:11,472 --> 00:48:13,263 Hey. Please. 820 00:48:13,265 --> 00:48:15,059 It's a religious thing. 821 00:48:16,226 --> 00:48:18,351 What are you? A priest or something? 822 00:48:18,353 --> 00:48:20,312 I said strip. 823 00:48:20,314 --> 00:48:22,686 - Please, I... - Daya! 824 00:48:22,689 --> 00:48:24,326 Get the fucking gun! 825 00:48:24,329 --> 00:48:26,318 Am I supposed to take it out for every little thing? 826 00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,028 Yeah, that's kind of the deal. 827 00:48:28,030 --> 00:48:29,196 Well, maybe she's right. 828 00:48:29,198 --> 00:48:31,325 You don't want it to lose its impact or whatever. 829 00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:40,082 Either you take 'em off or we cut 'em off. 830 00:48:40,084 --> 00:48:41,085 Hmm? 831 00:48:49,844 --> 00:48:52,678 Would you look at those bloomers! 832 00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:53,764 It's a temple garment. 833 00:48:54,348 --> 00:48:56,139 What are you... what are you? Mormon? 834 00:48:56,141 --> 00:48:57,602 Still hot. 835 00:49:04,358 --> 00:49:05,691 What the hell? 836 00:49:05,693 --> 00:49:07,275 You don't fucking have it, do you? 837 00:49:07,277 --> 00:49:08,736 Have what? 838 00:49:08,738 --> 00:49:10,320 Maria. 839 00:49:10,322 --> 00:49:11,782 Later. 840 00:49:12,658 --> 00:49:14,199 All right, everybody closer. 841 00:49:14,201 --> 00:49:16,118 Everybody get in. We need to see everybody. 842 00:49:17,204 --> 00:49:18,871 Can we do this? I... I really gotta pee. 843 00:49:18,873 --> 00:49:20,455 Quiet, boner boy. 844 00:49:20,457 --> 00:49:22,415 Do landscape, not portrait. 845 00:49:22,417 --> 00:49:23,751 What the hell is that? 846 00:49:23,753 --> 00:49:25,503 Sideways, not upways. 847 00:49:25,505 --> 00:49:26,587 "Upways"? 848 00:49:26,589 --> 00:49:29,464 Anybody else got any helpful tips? 849 00:49:29,466 --> 00:49:30,467 No! 850 00:49:31,385 --> 00:49:33,513 Good. All right. 851 00:49:35,055 --> 00:49:37,307 Everybody say, "Cheese!" 852 00:49:39,894 --> 00:49:42,269 - Cheese. - Don't fucking say chee... 853 00:49:48,030 --> 00:49:52,198 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 61705

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