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1
00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:06,459
This and what needful else
that calls upon us.
2
00:00:06,460 --> 00:00:13,460
By the grace of grace we will
perform in measure, time and place.
3
00:00:14,460 --> 00:00:18,460
So, thanks to all at once,
and to each one.
4
00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:24,460
Whom we invite to see us
crowned at Scone.
5
00:00:25,334 --> 00:00:30,393
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
6
00:00:31,460 --> 00:00:33,459
I'll bring that book in for you.
7
00:00:33,460 --> 00:00:34,459
Yeah!
8
00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:36,460
Arsehole.
9
00:00:36,531 --> 00:00:40,530
That bloody speech gets longer and
longer every night, yet I'm
10
00:00:40,531 --> 00:00:42,530
lying there with that belt buckle
sticking in me
11
00:00:42,531 --> 00:00:44,530
and he's just droning on.
12
00:00:44,531 --> 00:00:46,530
I mean, I'm dead,
the play's over, isn't it?
13
00:00:46,531 --> 00:00:49,530
Who gives a toss about Malcolm?
Ow! Sorry.
14
00:00:49,531 --> 00:00:52,530
I'll take them back to wardrobe
to get them stretched out for you.
15
00:00:52,531 --> 00:00:54,530
That would be good, because
I did ask
16
00:00:54,531 --> 00:00:55,530
for that three weeks ago, didn't I?
17
00:00:55,531 --> 00:00:57,530
Sorry, Tony. You see?
18
00:00:57,531 --> 00:00:59,530
That's four minutes added
on to the second half
19
00:00:59,531 --> 00:01:01,530
just cos the casting
director of the Donmar's in.
20
00:01:01,531 --> 00:01:05,530
'Visitors at stage
door for Mr Horner. Thank you.'
21
00:01:05,531 --> 00:01:10,530
Shit! What are people like? I've
just done three hours of Shakespeare,
22
00:01:10,531 --> 00:01:12,530
now I've got to give another
performance in here.
23
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,530
Do you want me to get them?
Yeah, I suppose so.
24
00:01:14,531 --> 00:01:16,131
But after five minutes, remind me
25
00:01:16,197 --> 00:01:18,196
I've got something on tomorrow
morning. What?
26
00:01:18,197 --> 00:01:21,197
I don't know, voice-over or
something. Use your imagination.
27
00:01:21,334 --> 00:01:23,334
Just don't want to get stuck with
them. OK.
28
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,334
Phwoar.
29
00:01:29,334 --> 00:01:30,334
Hi, Kirstie.
30
00:01:31,334 --> 00:01:34,333
Hey, Tony! Hi, Jim.
31
00:01:34,334 --> 00:01:37,333
Well done for tonight.
Good audience, I thought. Were they?
32
00:01:37,334 --> 00:01:40,333
There was a lot of reading
of programmes from what I could see.
33
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:44,333
"Oh, look, Malcolm
was in Doc Martin." So what?!
34
00:01:44,334 --> 00:01:47,333
Look up, people, this is theatre,
it's happening now, in front of you!
35
00:01:47,334 --> 00:01:49,333
They seemed to really enjoy it.
36
00:01:49,334 --> 00:01:52,334
It's Shakespeare, Jim,
they're not meant to enjoy it.
37
00:01:53,334 --> 00:01:56,333
So, how are you
getting along with the lines?
38
00:01:56,334 --> 00:01:58,333
Good. It's really useful watching
you every night.
39
00:01:58,334 --> 00:02:01,333
Helps it all sink in.
We've actually got an understudy run
40
00:02:01,334 --> 00:02:03,334
on Friday, if you wanted to come.
41
00:02:04,334 --> 00:02:08,333
I'd love to, but I'm pretty sure
I've got a voice-over on Friday.
42
00:02:08,334 --> 00:02:12,333
What time is it? Two o'clock. Yep,
that's when it is. Exactly then.
43
00:02:12,334 --> 00:02:14,334
Damn! Well, not to worry.
44
00:02:15,334 --> 00:02:18,333
Who have you got coming round?
Is it the woman from the Donmar?
45
00:02:18,334 --> 00:02:21,333
No, they won't see me
for the Donmar.
46
00:02:21,334 --> 00:02:24,333
Not their type of actor, apparently.
No, this is my neighbours,
47
00:02:24,334 --> 00:02:27,333
Bill and Jean. I don't know
why they've come, to be honest.
48
00:02:27,334 --> 00:02:30,333
I've got absolutely nothing to say
to either one of the...
49
00:02:30,334 --> 00:02:34,334
Bill! Jean! Ah-ha-ha!
Lovely to see you!
50
00:02:35,334 --> 00:02:39,333
Thanks so much for coming. No, no,
no, we enjoyed it, didn't we, Jean?
51
00:02:39,334 --> 00:02:42,333
Oh, yes.
"When shall we three meet again?"
52
00:02:42,334 --> 00:02:45,333
I still don't know how you
learn all those lines!
53
00:02:45,334 --> 00:02:47,333
Oh, well, it's just my job.
54
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,334
I probably couldn't do what you do.
55
00:02:50,334 --> 00:02:53,333
What do you do? Oh, hospital porter.
56
00:02:53,334 --> 00:02:55,333
Well, there you go, you see.
57
00:02:55,334 --> 00:02:58,333
There was a porter in this,
wasn't there?
58
00:02:58,334 --> 00:03:00,334
I said to Bill,
"That should be you!"
59
00:03:10,334 --> 00:03:14,333
- So, you enjoyed it then?
- Oh, yes!
60
00:03:14,334 --> 00:03:18,333
The sets and the lighting make it,
don't they?
61
00:03:18,334 --> 00:03:20,333
They give it the atmosphere.
62
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:23,333
Yes. Nothing to do with the boring
old actors, is it?
63
00:03:23,334 --> 00:03:26,333
Oh, no, I'm not saying that!
Oh, we liked Malcolm.
64
00:03:26,334 --> 00:03:30,333
Oh, yes. And you'd seen him in that
programme, what was it?
65
00:03:30,334 --> 00:03:31,333
Doc Martin.
66
00:03:31,334 --> 00:03:33,333
That's it.
He likes it for the Cornwall.
67
00:03:33,334 --> 00:03:35,333
Yeah, he played a fisherman in that.
68
00:03:35,334 --> 00:03:38,333
You'd never believe
he was the same person, would you?
69
00:03:38,334 --> 00:03:41,333
No, no, he's, uh,
a very clever chap.
70
00:03:41,334 --> 00:03:44,333
And he has lovely diction,
doesn't he?
71
00:03:44,334 --> 00:03:46,333
I could have listened to him for
hours.
72
00:03:46,334 --> 00:03:47,494
Yes, well, I do, every night.
73
00:03:52,334 --> 00:03:54,334
So, Kirstie, is there, um...?
74
00:03:56,334 --> 00:03:59,333
Oh, sorry, yes,
would you like a drink?
75
00:03:59,334 --> 00:04:02,333
No, no, no. She forgets
I'm four years on the wagon.
76
00:04:02,334 --> 00:04:06,333
Really? Yes, haven't touched a
drop and feel much better for it.
77
00:04:06,334 --> 00:04:10,333
No, I wondered
if there was anything, um...
78
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:14,333
Oh, yes, sorry. Remember, you've got
a voice-over tomorrow morning.
79
00:04:14,334 --> 00:04:16,334
Oh... Have I?
80
00:04:17,334 --> 00:04:20,334
I think so. Yes. For tam... pons.
81
00:04:22,334 --> 00:04:24,334
Tampons?
82
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:31,333
Well, in that case...
Actually, you said that was Friday.
83
00:04:31,334 --> 00:04:33,334
Did I?
84
00:04:34,334 --> 00:04:37,334
Yesss... Can't remember now.
85
00:04:38,334 --> 00:04:41,333
Well,
we are taking you out for dinner!
86
00:04:41,334 --> 00:04:43,333
Oh, no, you're not.
Oh, yes, we are!
87
00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:47,333
We booked a table at Papa Del's.
Come on, Jean, grab his coat.
88
00:04:47,334 --> 00:04:51,333
No, I don't want to go!
Tony! Your phone.
89
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:53,334
Seriously, Bill...
90
00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:32,333
And pity, like a naked newborn
babe, striding the blast,
91
00:05:32,334 --> 00:05:34,333
or heaven's cherubim,
horsed upon the sightless couriers
92
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,334
of the air, shall blow the horrible
deed... No.
93
00:05:38,173 --> 00:05:39,333
Terrible deed. No. Awful. No.
94
00:05:39,334 --> 00:05:41,333
Dreadful. No. Evil. Nasty.
Crap. Shitty.
95
00:05:41,334 --> 00:05:44,333
No! It's horrid. I said "horrid"!
96
00:05:44,334 --> 00:05:46,333
No, you said "horrible".
Oh, come on, that's close enough.
97
00:05:46,334 --> 00:05:49,333
Yes, close enough if you want
to be an understudy all your life.
98
00:05:49,334 --> 00:05:52,333
Don't start. Sitting in
the dressing room doing Sudokus
99
00:05:52,334 --> 00:05:54,333
while TONY gets all the glory.
But it's the job,
100
00:05:54,334 --> 00:05:56,333
there's nothing I can do about that,
is there? Yes, there is.
101
00:05:56,334 --> 00:05:59,333
We're about to do a run-through in
front of the director -
102
00:05:59,334 --> 00:06:00,333
make an impression.
103
00:06:00,334 --> 00:06:03,333
I'm sorry, I don't do impressions.
104
00:06:03,334 --> 00:06:05,333
Now, come on.
Shall blow the HORRID deed.
105
00:06:05,334 --> 00:06:09,333
The horrid deed in every eye,
that tears shall drown the wind.
106
00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:11,333
I have no spur to prick
the sides of my intent,
107
00:06:11,334 --> 00:06:14,333
but only vaulting ambition,
which o'erleaps...
108
00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:18,333
Excuse me, what the fudge are you
doing in Tony's dressing room?
109
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,333
That is a sackable offence.
Hi, Felice,
110
00:06:20,334 --> 00:06:22,333
we're just...
Kirstie said it would be all right.
111
00:06:22,334 --> 00:06:24,333
Oh, you take your orders
from the dresser now,
112
00:06:24,334 --> 00:06:25,333
not the company manager?!
113
00:06:25,334 --> 00:06:28,333
We don't take orders from anyone,
we're not in the SS.
114
00:06:28,334 --> 00:06:31,333
Speak for yourself, sweetheart.
115
00:06:31,334 --> 00:06:34,333
I'll allow it on this occasion,
as it's good for you to get to know
116
00:06:34,334 --> 00:06:37,334
the routine should you ever need to
go on for Tony - which you won't.
117
00:06:39,334 --> 00:06:42,334
Your understudy run starts in
T-minus 15 minutes.
118
00:06:44,334 --> 00:06:48,333
We will be doing it all as is,
except no blood, no swords, no fog.
119
00:06:48,334 --> 00:06:52,333
No swords? No.
Fight director's been hospitalised.
120
00:06:52,334 --> 00:06:55,333
Apparently Derek Jacobi caught him
in the goolies with a nunchuk.
121
00:06:55,334 --> 00:06:58,333
I don't remember that in the Merry
Wives of Windsor, but there you go.
122
00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:00,333
We're not using the walking sticks,
are we?
123
00:07:00,334 --> 00:07:03,334
It's just an understudy, Jim,
it really doesn't matter.
124
00:07:08,334 --> 00:07:12,333
Are those shop-bought lattes? Yes.
Sorry, I would have got you one...
125
00:07:12,334 --> 00:07:15,333
Did you sign yourself out
and back in?
126
00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:19,333
No, I was only gone two minutes.
Go and do so, please. Stage door.
127
00:07:19,334 --> 00:07:20,333
You can't be serious?
128
00:07:20,334 --> 00:07:24,333
Fire is serious, Laura,
that's why we have procedures. Jim.
129
00:07:24,334 --> 00:07:26,334
Uh, yes, I'm sorry.
130
00:07:44,334 --> 00:07:49,334
Your, er,
Lady Macbeth frock is being pressed.
131
00:07:50,334 --> 00:07:54,333
But, erm, be good if you could just
pop your jeans and top off now.
132
00:07:54,334 --> 00:07:58,334
What?! Just... save time.
I'm not doing that.
133
00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:02,334
Oh, well,
can't blame a girl for trying.
134
00:08:05,334 --> 00:08:10,333
Ah, there, I'm officially back.
Right, thank you, Jim.
135
00:08:10,334 --> 00:08:14,333
Warm-up in five and we will aim to
start the run at half past.
136
00:08:14,334 --> 00:08:18,333
Oh, and, uh, do try and talk
quickly, if you don't mind?
137
00:08:18,334 --> 00:08:20,334
Some of us
have got to do it for real tonight.
138
00:08:23,334 --> 00:08:25,334
Can't fucking stand her!
139
00:08:26,334 --> 00:08:29,333
Why is it all company managers
hate actors?
140
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:30,333
In the job description.
141
00:08:30,334 --> 00:08:34,333
"Wanted - sneery, wine-guzzling
lesbian to work backstage.
142
00:08:34,334 --> 00:08:37,334
"Must have own black sweatshirt
and no sense of humour."
143
00:08:38,334 --> 00:08:40,333
God...
144
00:08:40,334 --> 00:08:43,333
I could do a sandwich round
and get paid more.
145
00:08:43,334 --> 00:08:45,333
Well, we don't do it for the money,
do we? We do it because we love it.
146
00:08:45,334 --> 00:08:48,333
We DO do it for the money.
147
00:08:48,334 --> 00:08:51,333
We're getting married in six months.
I know.
148
00:08:51,334 --> 00:08:53,333
It's expensive, isn't it?
Shall we just not bother?
149
00:08:53,334 --> 00:08:55,334
Jim! I'm joking. I'm joking.
150
00:08:58,334 --> 00:08:59,334
Sorry.
151
00:09:00,334 --> 00:09:02,334
Just need to hang this up.
152
00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:07,333
Kirstie, do you know how much Tony
gets paid? You can't ask that!
153
00:09:07,334 --> 00:09:11,333
I don't know,
he never opens his payslips. Really?
154
00:09:11,334 --> 00:09:12,333
Yeah, just throws them in the bin.
155
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:18,334
Oh, well, in that case... What are
you doing? I want to know. Laura!
156
00:09:21,334 --> 00:09:22,334
Jesus!
157
00:09:25,334 --> 00:09:27,333
Well, he's the lead,
isn't he? I'll get there.
158
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:30,333
How much more do you get if you
go on for him? Well, not that.
159
00:09:30,334 --> 00:09:33,333
At least double that. He won't go
off though.
160
00:09:33,334 --> 00:09:35,333
He's never been off,
has he, Kirst? No.
161
00:09:35,334 --> 00:09:37,333
Well, maybe you should leave
the soap on the floor outside
162
00:09:37,334 --> 00:09:40,333
the shower - that would do it.
Don't be mean!
163
00:09:40,334 --> 00:09:42,333
Don't you for once want to
go on as the real thing,
164
00:09:42,334 --> 00:09:44,333
in front of a real audience? Ow!
165
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:48,333
What is it? There's a pin in this,
Kirstie! Shit!
166
00:09:48,334 --> 00:09:51,334
Oh, sorry, it just needs stitching,
I'll get you a plaster.
167
00:09:54,334 --> 00:09:59,333
Clumsy bitch. That could have hurt
someone. Let's have a look.
168
00:09:59,334 --> 00:10:00,334
Oh, dear.
169
00:10:02,334 --> 00:10:04,333
By the pricking of my thumbs...
170
00:10:04,334 --> 00:10:06,334
..something wicked this way comes.
171
00:10:08,334 --> 00:10:11,333
Mm. Stop it, vampire!
172
00:10:11,334 --> 00:10:13,333
Make thick my blood.
173
00:10:13,334 --> 00:10:16,333
Stop up the access
and passage to remorse,
174
00:10:16,334 --> 00:10:21,333
that no compunctious visitings
of nature shake my fell purpose.
175
00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:24,333
'Ladies and
gentlemen of the Macbeth company -
176
00:10:24,334 --> 00:10:27,333
'that's the understudy company,
not the actual one -
177
00:10:27,334 --> 00:10:29,333
'can you make your way to the stage,
please, for the warm-up?'
178
00:10:29,334 --> 00:10:35,333
She's only doing that to wind me up.
Ignore her. Good luck. Stop it!
179
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:37,333
You don't want to tempt fate.
180
00:10:37,334 --> 00:10:39,334
Come on, they've started already.
181
00:10:58,334 --> 00:10:59,334
Jim!
182
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:13,333
Angels are bright still,
though the brightest fell...
183
00:11:13,334 --> 00:11:18,333
Boring! Why don't you fuck off back
to Cornwall and do more Doc Martins?
184
00:11:18,334 --> 00:11:21,333
You hateful little prick!
185
00:11:21,334 --> 00:11:25,333
Honestly, I have never in my life
witnessed... Is this me? Yes.
186
00:11:25,334 --> 00:11:27,333
I have never in my life
witnessed such a
187
00:11:27,334 --> 00:11:31,333
SELFISH performance on stage,
and you know the most annoying thing?
188
00:11:31,334 --> 00:11:35,333
It works.
This tedious little queen...
189
00:11:35,334 --> 00:11:37,333
Get me my juice.
..has just been offered
190
00:11:37,334 --> 00:11:40,333
Uncle Vanya at the Donmar Warehouse.
191
00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:42,334
Vanya! That's my part!
192
00:11:45,334 --> 00:11:50,334
I was born to be Vanya, and they gave
the part to him. Fucking arseholes!
193
00:11:51,334 --> 00:11:55,334
Which, by the way, Kirstie, is how he
got the job in the first place.
194
00:11:57,334 --> 00:11:59,333
What in God's name is going on?
I don't know.
195
00:11:59,334 --> 00:12:02,333
I've just had to issue eight refunds
because Macbeth vomited on stage
196
00:12:02,334 --> 00:12:05,333
and said, "Is this a dildo
I see before me?" He's not well.
197
00:12:05,334 --> 00:12:10,334
He's pissed! Give me that bottle,
Tony. Juice. Give it to me. JUICE!
198
00:12:13,334 --> 00:12:18,333
Oh. Jesus Christ.
It's two-thirds vodka. So what?
199
00:12:18,334 --> 00:12:21,333
So when Banquo came on you said,
"Fuck me, there's a ghost!"
200
00:12:21,334 --> 00:12:22,333
I thought he was on the wagon.
201
00:12:22,334 --> 00:12:25,333
Felicity, Felicity,
get the director down here now.
202
00:12:25,334 --> 00:12:26,333
I want to make some changes.
203
00:12:26,334 --> 00:12:30,334
Oh, we will be making some changes
all right. Go and get Jim.
204
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:36,333
Right, Tony. Hmm?
How many fingers have I got up?
205
00:12:36,334 --> 00:12:39,334
Don't talk to me like that,
I'm not your girlfriend. I'm serious.
206
00:12:41,334 --> 00:12:44,333
Three.
What's your first line in act five?
207
00:12:44,334 --> 00:12:47,333
Bring me no more reports,
let them fly all!
208
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,333
Till Birnam Wood remove to
Dunsinane,
209
00:12:49,334 --> 00:12:52,333
I cannot taint with fear!
All right, OK.
210
00:12:52,334 --> 00:12:57,333
Just going to pop you in the shower,
Tony, OK? Ah, saucy.
211
00:12:57,334 --> 00:12:59,334
Are you coming in? No, I'm not.
212
00:13:02,334 --> 00:13:05,333
I bet you've got a nice little
pair of titties under that
213
00:13:05,334 --> 00:13:06,415
big black top, haven't you?
214
00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:10,334
You've got five minutes.
215
00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:16,334
I could cure you, you know.
Bloody turns.
216
00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:24,333
What's going on, Felice? Do you know
the lines? I think so. Are you sure?
217
00:13:24,334 --> 00:13:26,333
You dried it in the understudy
run last week.
218
00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:27,333
Well, that was just nerves,
219
00:13:27,334 --> 00:13:29,333
there were people watching
from the Lion King,
220
00:13:29,334 --> 00:13:31,333
didn't expect to see Pumba in
full make-up.
221
00:13:31,334 --> 00:13:34,333
Look, I don't like doing this, but
if he doesn't sober up in the next
222
00:13:34,334 --> 00:13:37,333
four minutes, I'm going to have
to send you on to finish the show.
223
00:13:37,334 --> 00:13:40,333
Shit. I need to know if you're
ready, Jim. I, uh... Well?
224
00:13:40,334 --> 00:13:41,333
He's ready.
225
00:13:41,334 --> 00:13:45,333
Get the costume on, Jim,
we'll do the lines. You can do this.
226
00:13:45,334 --> 00:13:47,333
It's what we've been waiting for.
227
00:13:47,334 --> 00:13:50,333
I'll make that call, thank you,
Laura. Stay where you are, please.
228
00:13:50,334 --> 00:13:51,334
I'll just hang this up.
229
00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:55,333
Right, Kirstie,
get Tony out of the shower.
230
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:58,333
I'll be back in two minutes to make
a decision.
231
00:13:58,334 --> 00:13:59,334
Can I go in now? Yeah.
232
00:14:00,334 --> 00:14:02,333
Oh, God, I can't do it.
Of course you can!
233
00:14:02,334 --> 00:14:05,333
But it's all the fights. We weren't
allowed to practise them.
234
00:14:05,334 --> 00:14:08,333
But the other actors will help you.
You'll get through on adrenaline.
235
00:14:08,334 --> 00:14:11,334
This is your chance.
All you have to do...
236
00:14:15,334 --> 00:14:16,334
..is take it.
237
00:14:29,334 --> 00:14:32,333
Right, I'm ready. Let's do this.
Are you sure you're all right?
238
00:14:32,334 --> 00:14:34,333
Of course I'm all right,
get me my juice!
239
00:14:34,334 --> 00:14:36,333
Tony. You don't have to do this.
240
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,333
Actors are allowed to be ill.
241
00:14:38,334 --> 00:14:40,333
David Suchet,
he missed the last act of
242
00:14:40,334 --> 00:14:42,333
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
with chronic diarrhoea.
243
00:14:42,334 --> 00:14:45,333
Yes, but he still made
the curtain call.
244
00:14:45,334 --> 00:14:47,333
Shame he was in a white suit though.
245
00:14:47,334 --> 00:14:49,333
If he's feeling better,
then he should do it.
246
00:14:49,334 --> 00:14:50,333
It will make more
sense for the audience.
247
00:14:50,334 --> 00:14:56,333
Exactly! Before my body I throw
my warlike shield.
248
00:14:56,334 --> 00:14:58,333
Lay on, Macduff!
249
00:14:58,334 --> 00:15:02,334
And damned be him
that first cries "Hold, enough!"
250
00:15:03,334 --> 00:15:06,333
Good and loyal,
destroying them...
251
00:15:06,334 --> 00:15:09,334
That was it, Jim.
That was your chance.
252
00:15:11,334 --> 00:15:13,333
Well, it's not my fault.
He said he's all right.
253
00:15:13,334 --> 00:15:17,333
He's drunk a full bottle of vodka!
How do you know?
254
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,334
Look at the state of him!
255
00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:22,333
I try and help you, Jim.
256
00:15:22,334 --> 00:15:24,334
But you just don't want it enough.
257
00:15:25,334 --> 00:15:30,333
I'm only the understudy. I'm there
if they want me. What?
258
00:15:30,334 --> 00:15:33,334
Stuck in the corner of the room
like a television on standby?!
259
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:40,333
Yes. I'm sorry, Laura, I can't...
260
00:15:40,334 --> 00:15:41,334
I can't change who I am.
261
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,333
'Out, out, brief candle.
262
00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:03,334
'Life's but a walking shadow... '
263
00:16:06,334 --> 00:16:10,333
'A poor player that struts
and frets his hour upon the stage,
264
00:16:10,334 --> 00:16:12,334
'and then is heard no more.
265
00:16:17,334 --> 00:16:19,333
'It is a tale.
266
00:16:19,334 --> 00:16:26,334
'Told by an idiot, full of sound
and fury, signifying...
267
00:16:28,334 --> 00:16:29,334
'..nothing.'
268
00:16:37,334 --> 00:16:39,334
'Medic to the stage,
please. Medic to the stage.'
269
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:45,333
'Tony, Tony, are you all right?
270
00:16:45,334 --> 00:16:47,333
'Argh!
271
00:16:47,334 --> 00:16:49,334
'Try not to move, Tony.'
272
00:17:09,334 --> 00:17:12,334
That's fine, isn't it?
Mm, I think so. Great.
273
00:17:13,334 --> 00:17:16,333
Do you need anything else?
No, I'm all right, I think.
274
00:17:16,334 --> 00:17:17,334
Oh, nearly forgot.
275
00:17:19,334 --> 00:17:21,333
I got you this. Oh, Kirstie.
276
00:17:21,334 --> 00:17:24,334
It's nothing.
Oh, really kind. You shouldn't have.
277
00:17:26,334 --> 00:17:27,334
Knock, knock.
278
00:17:28,334 --> 00:17:31,333
Right, I'll leave you to it. Thanks.
279
00:17:31,334 --> 00:17:33,333
Actually, Kirstie, could you get me
280
00:17:33,334 --> 00:17:36,333
one of those juice drinks that you
used to do for Tony?
281
00:17:36,334 --> 00:17:39,333
And I can't find my boots.
Are they...?
282
00:17:39,334 --> 00:17:40,334
Oh, sorry, I'll get them.
283
00:17:45,334 --> 00:17:48,333
How are you doing?
I feel like I haven't seen you.
284
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,333
Oh, well, I've been rehearsing,
haven't I?
285
00:17:51,334 --> 00:17:52,333
Finally got to get through
the fights.
286
00:17:52,334 --> 00:17:56,333
With a sword this time, rather than
a roll of wrapping paper.
287
00:17:56,334 --> 00:17:58,333
Are you nervous?
288
00:17:58,334 --> 00:18:00,334
Ugh... no.
289
00:18:01,334 --> 00:18:04,333
I just popped down to say...
break a leg.
290
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:09,333
Huh! That's a bit near the bone
under the circumstances.
291
00:18:09,334 --> 00:18:12,333
I know. How is he?
292
00:18:12,334 --> 00:18:15,334
Still in hospital.
They're doing tests on his spine.
293
00:18:16,334 --> 00:18:18,333
Poor Tony.
294
00:18:18,334 --> 00:18:21,333
Still, that's what happens if you
get pissed on the battlements.
295
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,333
Mm. Could have been worse,
but he fell on a gargoyle.
296
00:18:23,334 --> 00:18:25,334
Felicity wasn't on stage, was she?
297
00:18:27,334 --> 00:18:28,334
It's not funny, Laura.
298
00:18:32,334 --> 00:18:35,333
It's weird.
Now she's gone, I quite miss her.
299
00:18:35,334 --> 00:18:38,333
I thought you hated her.
300
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,333
Yeah, but...
still feel sorry for her.
301
00:18:40,334 --> 00:18:43,333
She just made the wrong call,
that's all.
302
00:18:43,334 --> 00:18:44,333
She should have sent you on.
303
00:18:44,334 --> 00:18:47,333
You shouldn't have said she was
sexually harassing you though.
304
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:49,333
I never said that.
I don't know where that's come from.
305
00:18:49,334 --> 00:18:51,334
Well, that's why she was sacked.
306
00:18:56,334 --> 00:19:00,333
Anyway, I've booked a table
at Papa Del's after the show.
307
00:19:00,334 --> 00:19:01,333
My sister's in, so we can...
308
00:19:01,334 --> 00:19:04,333
I'd love to, but I'm already going
out with the cast.
309
00:19:04,334 --> 00:19:08,333
Taking me to Jo Allen's.
I could hardly say no, could I?
310
00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:10,334
Well, we'll come with you.
311
00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:14,334
Your sister? Yeah.
312
00:19:15,334 --> 00:19:17,333
At Jo Allen's?
313
00:19:17,334 --> 00:19:19,333
Why not?
314
00:19:19,334 --> 00:19:21,333
It's always very awkward mixing
actors and civilians.
315
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:23,333
You know what they're like,
they're even funny
316
00:19:23,334 --> 00:19:26,334
about including the understudies.
I'm an understudy.
317
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:28,334
I know you are.
318
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,333
'Ladies and gentlemen
of the Macbeth company,
319
00:19:32,334 --> 00:19:35,333
'this is your half-hour call.
30 minutes please.'
320
00:19:35,334 --> 00:19:38,334
Look, let me get through tonight and
then we'll talk about it after, OK?
321
00:19:41,334 --> 00:19:45,333
You'll be fantastic.
I won't if I don't concentrate.
322
00:19:45,334 --> 00:19:48,334
Sorry, Laura, I just need to
get my head together.
323
00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:50,334
Are you asking me to go?
324
00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:55,334
I am really. Yes. I need to prepare.
325
00:19:58,334 --> 00:19:59,334
All right.
326
00:20:00,334 --> 00:20:01,334
I'll see you later then.
327
00:20:06,334 --> 00:20:08,334
Laura. Yeah?
328
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:11,334
Thanks.
329
00:20:12,334 --> 00:20:14,334
What for?
330
00:20:15,334 --> 00:20:16,334
This.
331
00:21:01,334 --> 00:21:05,333
Do we know who's playing
the girl? Oh, God.
332
00:21:05,334 --> 00:21:08,333
Oh, by the way, did I tell you
I've got my old dressing room
333
00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:11,334
back for Dick the Shit? Yeah!
334
00:21:12,334 --> 00:21:14,333
No, it's all been done up.
335
00:21:14,334 --> 00:21:17,333
Yeah,
was that anything to do with me?
336
00:21:17,334 --> 00:21:20,333
Come on, I bet it was.
Ha, all right.
337
00:21:20,334 --> 00:21:23,333
I'll speak to you later.
OK, bye, Maurie.
338
00:21:23,334 --> 00:21:25,333
Sorry about that. Not at all.
339
00:21:25,334 --> 00:21:27,333
Now, do you remember
the conversation we had
340
00:21:27,334 --> 00:21:30,333
about a meet and greet with
the lovely disabled people?
341
00:21:30,334 --> 00:21:32,333
That's not now, is it?
Why can't they do it after the show?
342
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,333
You know I don't like people
in during the half!
343
00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:38,333
They won't have time after the show.
It's not a problem.
344
00:21:38,334 --> 00:21:40,333
I'll tell them you're not available
and that's just the way it is.
345
00:21:40,334 --> 00:21:43,333
It's all right, Nick. Send them in,
but five minutes, yeah?
346
00:21:43,334 --> 00:21:45,333
And then tell them
I've got to do something.
347
00:21:45,334 --> 00:21:48,333
You're a gentleman, sir. And
thanks so much for signing these.
348
00:21:48,334 --> 00:21:50,334
The understudies will be delighted.
349
00:21:56,334 --> 00:21:59,333
Ahem, hem...
350
00:21:59,334 --> 00:22:01,333
Now is the winter...
351
00:22:01,334 --> 00:22:04,333
Ahem! Now!
352
00:22:04,334 --> 00:22:09,333
Now is the winter of our
discontent...
353
00:22:09,334 --> 00:22:12,334
Made glorious summer by this
sun of York.
354
00:22:13,334 --> 00:22:17,333
Played him in Stratford, '82.
Michele Dotrice was my Lady Anne.
355
00:22:17,334 --> 00:22:20,333
How are you, Jim?
356
00:22:20,334 --> 00:22:23,333
Tony!
Ha-ha! Good to see you, mate.
357
00:22:23,334 --> 00:22:25,333
What are you doing here?
358
00:22:25,334 --> 00:22:28,333
I've come to see you,
haven't I? Quick trip.
359
00:22:28,334 --> 00:22:30,333
We get free tickets, don't you know?
360
00:22:30,334 --> 00:22:33,333
Oh, so nice to see you.
How long's it been?
361
00:22:33,334 --> 00:22:35,334
It's been 19 months and 3 weeks.
362
00:22:37,334 --> 00:22:40,333
And how's things with you?
I've heard nothing but raves.
363
00:22:40,334 --> 00:22:42,333
Oh, well, I learnt it
all from the master, didn't I?
364
00:22:42,334 --> 00:22:45,333
Look, I've even got my juice drink.
365
00:22:45,334 --> 00:22:48,334
Yes, I, eh, I don't touch that
stuff any more.
366
00:22:49,334 --> 00:22:53,333
Still, every cloud has a silver
lining. You've been busy.
367
00:22:53,334 --> 00:22:56,333
I've, well, been nonstop. Obviously
we took Mackers to Broadway. Yeah.
368
00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:59,333
And I was straight back to Ireland
for Game of Thrones. Yeah.
369
00:22:59,334 --> 00:23:02,333
But what about you?
I heard you're doing talking books?
370
00:23:02,334 --> 00:23:05,333
That's right. I'm giving Jarvis
a run for his money.
371
00:23:05,334 --> 00:23:08,333
I've just finished Everything You
Need To Know About The EU.
372
00:23:08,334 --> 00:23:12,334
Fascinating stuff. You
think you know the half of it, but...
373
00:23:14,334 --> 00:23:16,334
Yeah, sounds, sounds good.
374
00:23:18,334 --> 00:23:20,333
They've done this room up nice.
375
00:23:20,334 --> 00:23:24,333
Yes, yes, my agent, I think.
Embarrassing really.
376
00:23:24,334 --> 00:23:28,333
Well, my agent gave me this blanket.
Small cheques.
377
00:23:28,334 --> 00:23:29,334
Good.
378
00:23:36,334 --> 00:23:37,334
So good to see you.
379
00:23:40,334 --> 00:23:42,333
How's that lovely
girlfriend of yours?
380
00:23:42,334 --> 00:23:45,333
Have you done the decent thing yet?
You mean Suzie?
381
00:23:45,334 --> 00:23:48,333
No, pretty one. Understudied Lady M.
382
00:23:48,334 --> 00:23:49,333
You were engaged, weren't you?
383
00:23:49,334 --> 00:23:51,333
Oh, Laura! No, no,
we're not together any more.
384
00:23:51,334 --> 00:23:54,333
No, I don't know what she's up
to these days.
385
00:23:54,334 --> 00:23:56,333
Ah, shame.
386
00:23:56,334 --> 00:23:57,334
She was a sweet girl.
387
00:23:59,334 --> 00:24:01,333
Mm.
388
00:24:01,334 --> 00:24:03,333
Anyway, look,
I don't want to chuck you out
389
00:24:03,334 --> 00:24:05,333
but I've got to
get MY callipers on, so...
390
00:24:05,334 --> 00:24:07,334
Oh, yes, of course.
Looking forward to it.
391
00:24:08,334 --> 00:24:12,334
Well, you're doing something right,
anyway. Keep at it.
392
00:24:14,334 --> 00:24:16,334
You're having
the career for both of us now.
393
00:24:18,334 --> 00:24:20,333
Thanks.
394
00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:22,334
OK, WAGON'S ROLL!
395
00:24:23,334 --> 00:24:25,333
All done?
396
00:24:25,334 --> 00:24:27,334
Thank you very much.
397
00:24:28,334 --> 00:24:30,333
I'll get the lift for you.
If you walk this way.
398
00:24:30,334 --> 00:24:33,333
So to speak.
399
00:24:33,334 --> 00:24:35,333
Kirstie? Hello, Jim.
400
00:24:35,334 --> 00:24:37,333
It is you.
Surprised you remember me.
401
00:24:37,334 --> 00:24:41,333
Of course I remember you. So, what,
you're looking after Tony now?
402
00:24:41,334 --> 00:24:43,333
Yeah, I'm his full-time carer.
403
00:24:43,334 --> 00:24:46,333
Well it's lovely to see you.
Hope you enjoy the show.
404
00:24:46,334 --> 00:24:48,333
Oh, I've already seen it.
405
00:24:48,334 --> 00:24:49,333
Really?
406
00:24:49,334 --> 00:24:52,333
I've seen everything you've done
since we worked together.
407
00:24:52,334 --> 00:24:54,333
Sometimes I come three or four times
a week just to see
408
00:24:54,334 --> 00:24:56,333
the little changes in your
performance.
409
00:24:56,334 --> 00:24:58,333
Oh. Gosh.
410
00:24:58,334 --> 00:25:00,333
I always knew you'd go far.
411
00:25:00,334 --> 00:25:01,374
Just needed a little push.
412
00:25:03,334 --> 00:25:04,333
Sorry, what do you mean?
413
00:25:04,334 --> 00:25:06,334
This room looks better now.
414
00:25:07,334 --> 00:25:09,334
More fitting for a star like you.
415
00:25:11,334 --> 00:25:14,333
She made a real mess of it.
416
00:25:14,334 --> 00:25:16,334
Who did?
Laura, when she killed herself.
417
00:25:17,334 --> 00:25:19,333
What?
418
00:25:19,334 --> 00:25:22,333
Sorry, didn't you know?
She slit her wrists in the shower.
419
00:25:22,334 --> 00:25:26,333
Had the blood everywhere apparently.
Right through to the floorboards.
420
00:25:26,334 --> 00:25:27,333
Laura's died...?
421
00:25:27,334 --> 00:25:31,333
Mm, I'm surprised you didn't know.
I mean, why would you?
422
00:25:31,334 --> 00:25:33,333
You've been away.
423
00:25:33,334 --> 00:25:35,333
I guess I was a recurring
character in Game of Thrones.
424
00:25:35,334 --> 00:25:37,333
Which you were brilliant in, by the
way. Thank you.
425
00:25:37,334 --> 00:25:40,333
'Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your Act I beginners' call.
426
00:25:40,334 --> 00:25:42,333
'Act I beginners to the stage,
please.'
427
00:25:42,334 --> 00:25:44,334
Better put that on.
428
00:25:47,334 --> 00:25:48,334
I'll do that for you.
429
00:25:51,334 --> 00:25:52,334
Just like old times.
430
00:25:55,334 --> 00:25:57,333
Sorry. Shouldn't have said anything.
431
00:25:57,334 --> 00:25:59,333
They obviously didn't want
you to know.
432
00:25:59,334 --> 00:26:01,333
I hope it doesn't
affect your performance.
433
00:26:01,334 --> 00:26:03,333
No, it's OK.
It's just a bit of a shock.
434
00:26:03,334 --> 00:26:07,333
I think I know why she did it,
actually. Why?
435
00:26:07,334 --> 00:26:12,333
Laura was responsible for Tony's
accident.
436
00:26:12,334 --> 00:26:14,334
She obviously couldn't live
with the guilt.
437
00:26:15,334 --> 00:26:17,333
That wasn't Laura.
438
00:26:17,334 --> 00:26:18,333
It was me.
439
00:26:18,334 --> 00:26:20,333
I spiked Tony's drink that day.
440
00:26:20,334 --> 00:26:22,334
It was pure alcohol.
I took it from the wig store.
441
00:26:24,334 --> 00:26:25,333
What?
442
00:26:25,334 --> 00:26:27,334
And I got rid of Felicity for you.
443
00:26:29,334 --> 00:26:31,333
She never would have put you on.
444
00:26:31,334 --> 00:26:33,334
She couldn't see what I could see.
445
00:26:35,334 --> 00:26:38,333
I said "she cupped my breast
in the Wendy House backstage".
446
00:26:38,334 --> 00:26:39,334
Instant dismissal.
447
00:26:41,334 --> 00:26:43,334
Why would you say that?
448
00:26:44,334 --> 00:26:46,334
For you, Jim. For your career.
449
00:26:48,334 --> 00:26:52,333
I've seen it happen too many times.
Genuine talent not being recognised.
450
00:26:52,334 --> 00:26:55,333
Looking after Tony is the price
I pay for what I did.
451
00:26:55,334 --> 00:26:58,333
Just as Laura's death is
the price you pay.
452
00:26:58,334 --> 00:27:00,333
That was nothing to do with me.
453
00:27:00,334 --> 00:27:01,334
I know it wasn't.
454
00:27:02,334 --> 00:27:04,333
Your career HAD to come first.
455
00:27:04,334 --> 00:27:06,334
You told her that.
456
00:27:09,334 --> 00:27:10,334
Look, Jim...
457
00:27:13,334 --> 00:27:15,333
I took it from Laura.
458
00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:17,334
I think she wanted me to have it.
459
00:27:19,334 --> 00:27:21,334
I'm waiting in the wings.
460
00:27:22,334 --> 00:27:23,334
Like an understudy.
461
00:27:28,334 --> 00:27:30,334
Have a good show.
462
00:27:35,334 --> 00:27:36,334
I'll be watching.
463
00:27:59,334 --> 00:28:00,333
Knock, knock.
464
00:28:00,334 --> 00:28:04,333
Are you all set to "smile and smile
and be a villain"?
465
00:28:04,334 --> 00:28:05,333
Yes...
466
00:28:05,334 --> 00:28:07,334
Sorry.
37680
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