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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,963 --> 00:00:08,530 My mom used to tell me 2 00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:10,706 never to judge people until you know their story. 3 00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:11,924 Yeah. I can do that. 4 00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:21,760 You might think you understand, 5 00:00:21,804 --> 00:00:23,066 but you don't. 6 00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:28,419 That's why, as a patient, 7 00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:31,205 it's important to have an advocate. 8 00:00:35,774 --> 00:00:37,211 Perfect timing. 9 00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:39,387 I just finished my last tele-health patient. 10 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:41,171 Oh, I just woke up. 11 00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,347 Aw. How'd you sleep? 12 00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:45,120 Would have slept better if you were laying next to me. 13 00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:47,438 Someone to tell your story, to be your voice... 14 00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:51,964 ...to say your name. 15 00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:55,490 Especially when you don't have the voice yourself. 16 00:00:57,709 --> 00:01:00,060 Her oxygen requirements have come down this much? 17 00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:02,323 Ah. Cytokine storm's leveling off, too. 18 00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:05,108 I mean, look at her CRP, ferritin. 19 00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:06,675 That is great. 20 00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,329 Oh, I ordered a repeat chest X-ray 21 00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:10,058 to see if the infiltrates are decreasing, too. 22 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,941 You talk to her? She feel any better? 23 00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:13,496 Just long enough to tell her that we got her into 24 00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,771 the drug trial. But she's pretty exhausted. 25 00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:17,555 Well, it's probably the side effects. 26 00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:20,297 And she can sleep all day if these numbers keep improving. 27 00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:21,559 Keep me posted. 28 00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:25,607 Jo? Good morning. 29 00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,696 It's time to get up. 30 00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,095 God, will you shut up? I'm awake. 31 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,227 Oh, okay. Are you going to work? 32 00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:38,924 Yes. 33 00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:40,970 At the regular time or...? 34 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,235 Everything okay? 35 00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:47,759 Oh, yeah, everything's great. 36 00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,718 I barely get to operate anymore, 37 00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:52,982 and when I do, they don't even recover enough to go home. 38 00:01:53,025 --> 00:01:54,244 Oh, and how could I forget 39 00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:58,030 the refrigerator truck full of dead bodies 40 00:01:58,074 --> 00:02:00,034 that I get to pass on the way from the parking lot 41 00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:02,513 to the hospital? 42 00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,124 The only reason I'm still in bed 43 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:07,083 is that I am paralyzed with excitement. 44 00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:11,435 So you're going? Why do you care? 45 00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:14,743 My bike has a flat tire, and you're my ride. 46 00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:19,182 She said the salad I made was too small. 47 00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,402 So I go back and make her a bigger one. 48 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,404 She says I must hate her because it's too big. 49 00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:24,796 Mm.I just can't win. 50 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,668 No, she appreciates you, Dad. 51 00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:28,670 It's not her. It's the dementia. 52 00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:31,151 Knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less. 53 00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:32,500 We're gonna get through this. 54 00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:34,980 We? I only see you on the phone. 55 00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:37,418 And you can't even bother to hold the thing still. 56 00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:39,028 I have a hospital to run. 57 00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:40,682 And I didn't know there'd be a pandemic. 58 00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,292 Ben's sister gets to stay with you. 59 00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:44,425 To... With the boys. 60 00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:46,253 Who I don't see either. 61 00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:48,603 Ben's staying at the station, 62 00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:52,084 and half the time, I'm too tired to make it to my hotel. 63 00:02:52,128 --> 00:02:55,914 I promise Silver Villas is more comfortable than my office. 64 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:58,743 I just hate this. I hate all of it. 65 00:02:58,787 --> 00:03:00,092 It's not fair. 66 00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:02,182 Well, COVID's not big on fair. 67 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,487 Listen, I have to go. 68 00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:06,664 I love you. 69 00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:08,884 Don't go outside, Dad, okay? It's not safe. 70 00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:11,843 Tell your mom that. She's the one always trying to leave. 71 00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:13,584 I love you, too. 72 00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,185 Dr. Wakeman to Neurology. 73 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,199 Dr. Wakeman to Neurology. 74 00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:22,898 Ah. Good morning, Avery. 75 00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:24,291 Not really. 76 00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:25,889 You know how many trachs I've had to do this week 77 00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:27,859 on long-term vent patients 'cause of COVID? 78 00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,632 No, but I have a feeling you're gonna tell me. 79 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,167 11, Richard. 80 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,690 Gonna be 12 in about an hour, 81 00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:34,344 and this number's gonna keep on going up, 82 00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:36,868 which is why I need you to help me with this. 83 00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:38,696 Oh, when did your mother go to San Francisco? 84 00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:41,525 What? No, no. That's a... That's a fake video background 85 00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:43,211 for when she talks to Harriet. That's not the point. Look. 86 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,833 You want her to change the background? 87 00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:47,270 I want you to get your wife to wear a damn mask, okay? 88 00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,838 She's in a germ-collecting car with her driver with no mask. 89 00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:51,187 She wears masks. 90 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,710 On her chin, okay, 91 00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:55,496 or dangling from her ear like a weird piece of jewelry. 92 00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:58,238 She is living with cancer. She is immunocompromised. 93 00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,804 I got to get to surgery. 94 00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:01,838 Just get her to wear the stupid mask correctly, please. 95 00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,286 Well, you know what it's like 96 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,766 to get your mother to do something! 97 00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:07,334 Yeah, that's why I'm calling for reinforcements. 98 00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:13,035 Val Ashton, status post right hepatectomy 99 00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:14,515 with segments 5 through 8 100 00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:16,517 due to bleeding from hepatic pregnancy. 101 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,767 Her drains were pulled two days ago, 102 00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,389 but this morning she's tachy to 120, 103 00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:20,869 her BP has decreased, 104 00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:23,219 and transaminases and bili are both trending upwards. 105 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,090 She's kind, giving, successful, 106 00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,397 enjoys a raunchy romance novel. 107 00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,181 Without shame. 108 00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:31,445 I need compliments, too, guys. 109 00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,288 I'm glad that you're in good spirits, Val, 110 00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:36,798 but, um, your labs are concerning. 111 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,234 I'm ordering a CT. 112 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,976 I carried a baby in my liver. 113 00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:44,980 Can't you make an exception for moms and babies who defy odds? 114 00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:47,417 I-I'm sick of video chats. 115 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:50,725 Luna's gonna think her mom's a pixelated blob. 116 00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:53,208 Technically, that's what you'd look like even in person. 117 00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:54,717 Babies can only see about six inches in front... 118 00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:57,601 Schmitt! Not the point. 119 00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,690 Val, I know that it's not what you wanted to hear, 120 00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:03,564 but Luna's on a vent, and moving her is very precarious. 121 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:05,336 Plus, we... we need to make sure that you're taken care of 122 00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:06,828 before you meet her. 123 00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:09,134 For Luna's sake and for yours. 124 00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:10,484 Okay? 125 00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:15,837 Do we know if he's okay? 126 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,187 Not sure. This is him. 127 00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,580 You're not listening... 128 00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:21,134 I have to be at home. I don't want to miss it... 129 00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:22,539 Oh, my God. 130 00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:23,789 Okay, we have a COVID-positive male, 131 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:26,108 heart rate 123, BP 90 over 60. 132 00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:28,284 Pulse ox of 92 on 100%, high flow. 133 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,417 He's incoherent and disoriented. 134 00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:32,276 I just saw him two days ago. He was fine. 135 00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:33,507 Is this a stroke? 136 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,552 Could be. Or encephalitis brought on by COVID. 137 00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:36,759 I have tickets to Opening Day, 138 00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,251 and David's dying to catch a fly ball. 139 00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:39,730 Who's David? His son. 140 00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,863 Let's get him to a COVID room now. 141 00:05:41,906 --> 00:05:44,648 Hang on. He's seizing. 142 00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:45,867 Let's get him on his side. 143 00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:47,695 Ready? 1, 2, 3. 144 00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:50,698 Captioning provided by ABC Studios and ABC, Inc. 145 00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:53,527 Ford, Built Ford Proud. 146 00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:01,752 No signs of head trauma, but, Helm, call up to CT, 147 00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:02,710 let them know we'll be upas soon as possible. 148 00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:03,873 We'll do it. Helm, out. 149 00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:05,285 But I've already had COVID... 150 00:06:05,321 --> 00:06:06,571 Doesn't matter. You're a resident, 151 00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,585 and he's positive. Out. Now. 152 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:09,934 Get off me. Stay back. 153 00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:12,589 Tom. Tom, it's me. It's Teddy. Try to stay calm. 154 00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:14,243 I... Don't... Don't touch me. 155 00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,754 Tom? Take it easy. We're just trying to take care of you. 156 00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,321 Push two of Ativan. No, I don't... I don't know you. 157 00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,335 I don't know you! He's post-ictal. 158 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,281 No, I don't... I don't know you. Just wait a minute, and the meds will kick in. 159 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,776 Teddy, I got this, okay? 160 00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,517 Please, call up to CT. 161 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,697 Okay. 162 00:06:33,741 --> 00:06:35,743 Hey, Angel. 163 00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:39,573 I'd be there with you, but the mean doctors say no. 164 00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:41,618 Can you say "mean"? 165 00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:45,405 Can you hold the phone closeenough for me to smell her head? 166 00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,328 How about I bring you one of her blankets? 167 00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,974 Ah! I will literally marry you. 168 00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:52,194 Val. 169 00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:54,849 Crap. That is your bad-news face. 170 00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:57,939 Your CT showed that you have an abscess 171 00:06:57,982 --> 00:07:00,550 that's eroding into an artery in your liver, 172 00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:03,205 causing what's called a pseudoaneurysm. 173 00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:04,380 Okay. 174 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,674 It's a weakeningof the blood vessel, 175 00:07:05,686 --> 00:07:07,252 which is causing it to leak. 176 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:09,456 We need to take you to surgery right away to repair it. 177 00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:12,954 I am so sorry that it's not better news. 178 00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:17,349 Leave. 179 00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:25,053 Eight years. 180 00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:29,449 I've wanted to be a mom for eight years. 181 00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:32,495 I've known my baby's name. 182 00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:35,193 I've known the color I would paint the nursery. 183 00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:39,284 I've known the made-up lullaby I would sing at night. 184 00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:42,200 And now that I finally have the chance... 185 00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:44,202 being a mom is just some weird TV show 186 00:07:44,246 --> 00:07:46,683 I'm watching on my phone, 187 00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:49,556 and I don't know if it will ever be real. 188 00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:55,692 Please make it real. 189 00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:59,423 Have you heard about Koracick? 190 00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:01,916 Yes. He's gettingthe world's best care, 191 00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,483 and I'm tryingnot to think about it. 192 00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:06,703 So, can you wait that longfor the converted rooms? 193 00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:08,662 Is sooner an option? 194 00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:10,608 See, even with the lockdown, we are getting slammed. 195 00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:13,101 We got six cases today from assisted-living facilities, 196 00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,917 three from the same ONE. WOMAN: I'll go check. 197 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,627 Oh, which one? Silver Villas in Ballard. 198 00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:19,890 COVID spreads through those places like wildfire. 199 00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,196 Where are you going?! 200 00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:22,676 Uh, that's where my parents are. 201 00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,112 Next. 202 00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:25,722 - A rescue mission? - Yes. 203 00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,942 Just stop what you're doing and get to Silver Villas. 204 00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:29,334 To grab your mom and dad? 205 00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:30,715 I've been trying to call the front office, 206 00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:31,902 but they're not answering. 207 00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:32,978 Well, where do you want me to take them? 208 00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,426 Uh, to my hotel. 209 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,428 Y... Uh, I don't care. Just get them out. 210 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,735 Yeah, I'm on it. I love you. 211 00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:47,875 Okay, lap pads... Here you go. 212 00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:50,486 Khan was an attending in Pakistan. 213 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,649 We could probably be assisting him. 214 00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,445 Not gonna happen. 215 00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:55,273 No, I know. I just... Making a point. 216 00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,405 Suction. 217 00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:57,972 You were a vascular surgeon, right? 218 00:08:58,015 --> 00:08:59,277 Yes, Dr. Schmitt, 219 00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:00,658 one of the first to be certified in my country. 220 00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:01,976 Why would you leave? 221 00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:03,238 Okay, Kelly clamp. 222 00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,283 Uh, it wasn't exactly a choice. 223 00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:07,372 I love my home, it shaped me. 224 00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:09,145 Still nice not to worry about religious persecution 225 00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:10,158 or bombings. 226 00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:12,290 So I just started over.Clamp. 227 00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:14,815 Just? It's a five-year residency. 228 00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,860 If I finished this and had to start over... 229 00:09:16,904 --> 00:09:18,949 Ugh. Pass. Can you imagine? 230 00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:20,635 Can you imagine payingmore attention to the field 231 00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,213 so the patient doesn't die? 232 00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,346 Damn it. Her tissue's so friable 233 00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:26,348 it's just disintegrating into my hands. 234 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:27,946 We got to get control of... I know what we need to do! 235 00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:30,439 Everyone shift. We're doing a modified pringle maneuver. 236 00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,658 Clamp. 237 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,012 Okay, thank you. 238 00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:40,536 Hey. Your phone has been ringinglike crazy. 239 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,668 Oh. 240 00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:47,238 Oh, wow. Okay. 241 00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:48,631 Uh, okay. Let's just, uh... 242 00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:51,796 I tried to call you. Ben, how did it... 243 00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:53,755 I picked up your mom, and she's sick. Wait, slow down. I ca... 244 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,986 We're at the hospital. Now?! 245 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:58,162 Right now. 246 00:09:58,206 --> 00:09:59,816 Mom! 247 00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:06,431 Mom? 248 00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:07,868 Hey, it's me. 249 00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:09,521 I'm here. 250 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,617 William? Maggie: Alright, okay. 251 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:18,530 Where... Where... Where's William? 252 00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:20,271 Mom, you're in the hospital. 253 00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:21,391 We're gonna take care of you. 254 00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:22,926 He's gonna be here soon, right? 255 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:25,407 Okay. Yes, yes. He's coming soon. 256 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:27,539 Okay? Just lay back and relax. 257 00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:30,368 I can't wear this. I got to get my clothes. 258 00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:31,500 Where my clothes? 259 00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:33,589 Okay. She seems really agitated. 260 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,796 Are there any meds we can give her to calm her? 261 00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:36,548 I can order some meds? 262 00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:57,700 Yeah. 263 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,123 What do you see, Shepherd? 264 00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:30,951 Uh, I see a lesion on his thalamus, 265 00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:33,083 but it's small, so that's something. 266 00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,216 Have you been able to talk to him since the seizure? 267 00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,131 He was post-ictal, and they gave him lorazepam, 268 00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:38,828 so he wasn't really coherent. 269 00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:41,657 Okay. I'm coming in. 270 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,995 Are... Are you sure? I mean, do you want me to call Dr. Mehta? 271 00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,705 It's Tom. I'm coming. 272 00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:47,881 Thank you. 273 00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:51,058 Uh, Ellis decided she didn't want her mac and cheese 274 00:11:51,101 --> 00:11:53,713 after begging me to make it, so if you're hungry... 275 00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:56,803 What's going on? 276 00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:59,544 It looks like Tom is having some neuro complications from COVID. 277 00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:02,286 I thought he was asymptomatic. Yeah, so did I. 278 00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:04,854 I just pumped, so there is milk in the fridge for Scout. 279 00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:06,421 Uh, Bailey and Ellis need a nap. 280 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:09,293 Make sure you check in with Zola about her homework. 281 00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:12,470 If Scout starts to fuss, just try the yoga ball. 282 00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:14,081 What am I forgetting? 283 00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:15,517 To breathe. 284 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:16,953 We'll be fine here, okay? 285 00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:18,912 Go. Save your friend. 286 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,567 He was my teacher. 287 00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:23,743 And he saved my brain. 288 00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:26,093 And, uh, he was my first sex after Owen, 289 00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:27,952 which shouldn't matter, but it kind of saved me, too, 290 00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:31,054 so I don't want him to die. 291 00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:35,102 And I don't want to leave Scout, and I'm scared of the pandemic. 292 00:12:35,145 --> 00:12:37,017 You had sex with Koracick? 293 00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,105 What? 294 00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:48,419 Hey. Oh, um, Mr. Anderson's trach in 4722 295 00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:50,018 needs to be suctioned, please. I'm on it. 296 00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:52,032 Hey, got your page. Did you hear anything from Mom? 297 00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:54,109 She's just texting me back hearts and "Love you, baby"s 298 00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:55,644 like that's gonna shut me up. 299 00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:57,590 No, I haven't had the time. Richard, this is not something 300 00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,561 that can wait till your schedule frees up, right? 301 00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:01,507 It's my mom. She's gonna give me a damn rage stroke. 302 00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:04,827 Bailey's mother was just admitted, COVID-positive. 303 00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,611 It's bad. 304 00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,384 Look, can you fill in for her at the board meeting today, 305 00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,572 take a few of her patients? 306 00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:12,487 We'll all pitch in. 307 00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,663 Yeah, of course. Whatever she needs. 308 00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:21,365 We took a lot more of her liver than I was hoping to. 309 00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:22,485 Keep an eye on her liver panel. 310 00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:24,107 The next few hours will be crucial. 311 00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:25,401 You think she'll need a transplant? 312 00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,894 Knowing her luck, probably. 313 00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:31,375 But if she needs it, we can try liver dialysis first. 314 00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:34,204 Khan, finish the op notes. Keep an eye on her. 315 00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,684 Dr. Wilson, thank you 316 00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:37,065 for allowing me to observe your process. 317 00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,730 That was amazing. 318 00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:40,515 She could still need a transplant. 319 00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:42,996 Yes, I understand, but you resected most of her liver, 320 00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:44,432 and she's still alive. 321 00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:45,955 I mean, do you know how rare that is? 322 00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:49,176 That... That's unheard of in so many parts of the world. 323 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:53,267 I know. Op notes. I'm going. 324 00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:55,225 Was I really amazing, 325 00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,967 or is he just some weird happy person? 326 00:13:58,011 --> 00:14:01,492 If you impressed him, I think amazing's a safe bet. 327 00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:07,237 Glad you got to operate again. 328 00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,243 Her ferritin is 2087. 329 00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:15,593 600 is severe in COVID. 330 00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:18,858 Her CRP is 87. 331 00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,555 Creatinine's 2.3. 332 00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:23,427 W-What about her oxygen requirements? 333 00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:27,301 She's at 100% F-I-O2. 334 00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:29,520 40 liters. 335 00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:31,609 She went into A-fib an hour ago. 336 00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:35,178 We pushed dig, but so far, no response. 337 00:14:36,832 --> 00:14:39,052 Her systolic was in the 80s, but we pushed a fluid bolus 338 00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:41,358 and got it back up into the 90s. 339 00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:46,146 So she's starting to have multi-system organ failure 340 00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,757 in addition to her cytokine storm. 341 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,890 I'm sorry, Bailey. 342 00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:54,589 There is still more we can do. 343 00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:57,418 We can take her to the ICU, intubate... 344 00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:59,855 She didn't want to be on machines. 345 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:03,467 Or be kept alive with medication. 346 00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:11,693 I got to call my dad. Um... 347 00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:17,177 I'm here if you need me. 348 00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:19,744 H-How... How do I tell my dad 349 00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:24,097 that the love of his life 350 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,751 won't make it through the night? 351 00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:44,552 Neuro exam's intact. No deficits. 352 00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:46,075 He asked for his son. 353 00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:50,340 I think the seizure and delirium are secondary to hypoxemia 354 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:53,735 and inflammation from COVID... Possible early sepsis. 355 00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:54,910 Let's just watch him 356 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,694 and, uh, see how he responds to treatment. 357 00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:58,914 Okay. Oh, hey, Shepherd. Didn't realize you were back. 358 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,872 Welcome to... hell. 359 00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:02,744 Just consulting on Koracick. 360 00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:04,560 Oh, right, 'cause he needs somebody to cover his service. 361 00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:06,791 Onhim, not... uh, not forhim. 362 00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,837 Sats dropped, he's got a fever of 103, 363 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,795 and he seized when they brought him in. 364 00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:13,494 Well, I hate everything. 365 00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:16,627 [Over P.A. I Dr. Cade to the ICU. Emma Cade to the ICU. 366 00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,139 I was wondering if you get used to this, 367 00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:20,544 but I'm guessing that's my answer. 368 00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:21,850 How's the baby? 369 00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:24,418 Uh, yeah, uh, well, he won't let me sleep, 370 00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:27,160 but other than that, um, yeah, I can't wait to get back to him. 371 00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:29,118 Leo and Allison are with Owen's mom. 372 00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:30,598 I'm just... I miss them like crazy, 373 00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:33,079 but with both parents treating COVID patients, 374 00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:35,081 it just... It doesn't seem safe. 375 00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:36,821 Uh-huh. 376 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:40,173 So, um, guess you heard what happened. 377 00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:42,871 Yeah. And I have feelings. 378 00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:44,612 But I've also done 379 00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:47,049 more hurtful and complicated things in my life 380 00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:49,791 than anyone I've met outside an NA meeting, so... 381 00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:51,793 Some of them to Owen. 382 00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:53,360 Owen won't say a word to me 383 00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:54,361 that doesn't have to do with the kids, 384 00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:57,364 and everyone is ignoring me 385 00:16:57,407 --> 00:17:00,280 or treating me like I'm wearing a scarlet letter. 386 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,543 What about Tom? 387 00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:05,328 He's hurt, too. 388 00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:08,375 Well, um, I'll keep checking on him. 389 00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:11,856 And, uh, thank you for getting Mer into the trial. 390 00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,119 Oh, yeah, uh, of course. 391 00:17:18,341 --> 00:17:20,909 Hi, Grey. 392 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,911 It's me. 393 00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,174 I'm gonna say it. 394 00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:26,741 I miss you. 395 00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:40,624 When I was a kid, I had big thoughts. 396 00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,844 Big feelings. 397 00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:45,673 And I never knew where to put them. 398 00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:50,808 Physically, they ran through my body like a high-speed train. 399 00:17:50,852 --> 00:17:53,681 And anytime I felt the train coming, 400 00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:56,988 my mom could see it. 401 00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:59,904 So she took me around the corner to the park 402 00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:04,909 with this strange, twisted tree. 403 00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:07,129 Said it was mytree. 404 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:11,002 And I could scream at it, hit it, hold it... 405 00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:12,726 And it would make the feelings small enough 406 00:18:12,743 --> 00:18:17,008 that they would fit back inside of my own body again. 407 00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:20,751 So I did. 408 00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:22,840 And it worked. 409 00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:28,107 But now I'm an adult, and tree-hitting is... 410 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,978 frowned upon. 411 00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:33,242 I can be your tree. 412 00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:37,507 My mother has Alzheimer's. 413 00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,640 I never told you 414 00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:43,948 because she's older, 415 00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:47,038 and I didn't want to bring up any old pain 416 00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:49,824 for your or Richard. 417 00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:52,218 But it would be a lie 418 00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:55,917 to say that it hasn't been hard. 419 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,963 Or painful. 420 00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:03,707 Even as a doctor who knows about the disease, 421 00:19:03,751 --> 00:19:06,797 I feel like... 422 00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:08,147 I didn't know crap. 423 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:12,368 ...like I don't know anything. 424 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,196 It's difficult to talk about it 425 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,067 with someone who hasn't been there, 426 00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:18,548 been through it. 427 00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:24,598 No one understands that you are 428 00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:28,036 watching your own mother die... 429 00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:30,691 twice. 430 00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:34,477 I'm so sorry, Bailey. 431 00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:37,350 I wish you were awake. 432 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,566 Val's still not awake. LFTs are up slightly. 433 00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:50,406 Okay. Do another panel in a few hours. 434 00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:52,365 Absolutely, Dr. Wilson. 435 00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:56,064 Okay, has your attitude always been this good? 436 00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:59,285 My mom used to say every day above ground is a good day. 437 00:19:59,328 --> 00:20:01,112 Did she get that from "Scarface"? 438 00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:04,246 She did. Still, it's true. 439 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,557 You! You're a doctor, right? 440 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,428 Yeah. Great, follow me. 441 00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:14,288 We're delivering a baby. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 442 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,072 I'm not an OB, I'm a general surgeon. I don't care. 443 00:20:16,084 --> 00:20:17,943 We have an imminent delivery, and all our OBs are busy. 444 00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:19,609 Hospital rules say we need a doctor. 445 00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,263 I haven't delivered a baby... 446 00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:22,774 You heard the "I don't care" part, right? 447 00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:23,874 We'll talk you through it. 448 00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:25,528 The Elmores. Okay. 449 00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:28,488 G3P2 came in fully effaced and dilated at zero station. 450 00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:31,055 Started crowning by the time we got her settled on the bed. 451 00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:34,450 Ms. Elmore? Hi. I know that I'm not who you expected, 452 00:20:34,494 --> 00:20:36,060 but I am here... The head is coming now. 453 00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:37,932 Hi. Hi. 454 00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:39,673 Okay. Okay. 455 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,154 Alright. Contraction and big push, okay? 456 00:20:43,198 --> 00:20:44,155 Big push. 457 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,814 Okay. Contraction and push. 458 00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:54,992 The head is out. There... No cord around the neck. 459 00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:57,299 See? Just like riding a bike. 460 00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:58,648 Alright, uh... 461 00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:01,303 Pull head down, then up, to deliver the shoulders. 462 00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:03,174 Okay, it's coming. 463 00:21:03,218 --> 00:21:04,828 Coming. 464 00:21:04,872 --> 00:21:07,527 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 465 00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:10,094 Ms. Elmore asked that the baby go directly onto her chest 466 00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:11,214 while still connected. 467 00:21:11,226 --> 00:21:13,228 Okay, clamp. 468 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:16,405 Okay. Oh, my gosh. Okay. 469 00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:20,061 Okay. 470 00:21:22,324 --> 00:21:25,196 You ready to cut the cord? 471 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,155 Hi. Okay, right here. 472 00:21:27,198 --> 00:21:28,765 Okay, yeah. In between here. 473 00:21:28,809 --> 00:21:30,898 In between, yeah. 474 00:21:30,941 --> 00:21:32,726 Good. Hi, little one! 475 00:22:06,194 --> 00:22:08,501 Just need you to sign the paperwork, and you can go. 476 00:22:08,544 --> 00:22:11,199 Is it alright if I stay? 477 00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:18,424 Okay. Mommy? 478 00:22:18,467 --> 00:22:19,773 Hey, it's me. 479 00:22:19,816 --> 00:22:22,297 Look, Dad's here, too. 480 00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:25,082 Hi, honey. I'm here. 481 00:22:25,126 --> 00:22:27,433 Wait till you see Miranda's hotel. 482 00:22:27,476 --> 00:22:29,435 I mean, there's room service, 483 00:22:29,478 --> 00:22:32,220 and the view is so much better than Silver Villas. 484 00:22:32,263 --> 00:22:34,875 You can actually s-see the water. 485 00:22:34,918 --> 00:22:36,833 William? 486 00:22:36,877 --> 00:22:38,879 Is that you, William? 487 00:22:38,922 --> 00:22:41,360 Right here by your side, as always. 488 00:22:41,403 --> 00:22:45,320 I love you. I love you so much. 489 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,453 Sweetheart? 490 00:22:47,496 --> 00:22:51,631 Uh, she drifts in and out, Dad. 491 00:22:51,674 --> 00:22:55,069 In her state, even breathing's exhausting. 492 00:22:55,112 --> 00:22:57,245 I can't do this. 493 00:22:57,288 --> 00:22:58,681 I know. 494 00:22:58,725 --> 00:23:00,422 It's difficult. 495 00:23:00,466 --> 00:23:01,815 I should be there. 496 00:23:01,858 --> 00:23:03,599 It's too risky, Dad. 497 00:23:03,643 --> 00:23:07,560 She should be in her own bed, not in some sterile box. 498 00:23:07,603 --> 00:23:13,435 She spent 60 years taking care of me, and now... 499 00:23:13,479 --> 00:23:17,178 She hardly ever got a cold before this. 500 00:23:17,221 --> 00:23:20,399 Just call me when she wakes up. 501 00:23:22,357 --> 00:23:24,446 Of course, Dad. 502 00:23:32,498 --> 00:23:34,935 Okay. 503 00:23:44,597 --> 00:23:47,948 Mommy. 504 00:23:47,991 --> 00:23:49,645 If you're ready to go, 505 00:23:49,689 --> 00:23:51,125 it's okay. 506 00:23:51,168 --> 00:23:53,388 We're gonna be okay. 507 00:23:56,391 --> 00:23:59,176 We love you. 508 00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:01,440 But we don't want you to suffer. 509 00:24:02,571 --> 00:24:08,055 I'm not r-ready. 510 00:24:08,098 --> 00:24:11,145 If you're tired, I understand. 511 00:24:12,581 --> 00:24:13,582 I love you. 512 00:24:14,627 --> 00:24:16,585 Ready to die? 513 00:24:17,804 --> 00:24:19,066 No. 514 00:24:20,894 --> 00:24:24,941 I-I want to go home. 515 00:24:35,256 --> 00:24:37,911 Hey, you've reached Ben Warren. Please leave a message. 516 00:24:37,954 --> 00:24:40,522 Yeah, I... Ben? Um, it's my mom. 517 00:24:40,566 --> 00:24:43,917 I think she was just lucid with me, 518 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,702 and she said some things that I don't understand, 519 00:24:46,746 --> 00:24:48,965 and now I-I don't know what do, 520 00:24:49,009 --> 00:24:50,924 and I need someone to tell me what to do. 521 00:24:50,967 --> 00:24:54,754 Just, uh, call me as soon as you can. 522 00:24:54,797 --> 00:24:55,929 Uh, I love you. 523 00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:01,804 Hey. 524 00:25:01,848 --> 00:25:04,415 I saw you leave. I wanted to check. 525 00:25:05,155 --> 00:25:07,810 She said she's not ready to go. 526 00:25:07,854 --> 00:25:10,073 For a split second, 527 00:25:10,117 --> 00:25:13,381 my heart was filled up with so much joy. 528 00:25:13,424 --> 00:25:15,557 But now I'm just mad. 529 00:25:15,601 --> 00:25:19,953 Mad because no one told me she was sick, 530 00:25:19,996 --> 00:25:26,220 mad because she probably has no idea what's happening. 531 00:25:26,263 --> 00:25:30,485 You know, if I'm being totally honest, 532 00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:33,227 I don't want her to suffer from this Alzheimer's anymore. 533 00:25:33,270 --> 00:25:36,056 You know, it's a horrific disease, 534 00:25:36,099 --> 00:25:39,320 and I want her to be free. 535 00:25:39,363 --> 00:25:41,235 But I don't want COVID to be the reason. 536 00:25:41,278 --> 00:25:42,410 I d... I don't want her 537 00:25:42,453 --> 00:25:45,848 to be just another Black woman statistic 538 00:25:45,892 --> 00:25:47,763 in this pandemic count. 539 00:25:47,807 --> 00:25:49,896 Yeah, I hear that. 540 00:25:49,939 --> 00:25:52,115 100%. 541 00:25:54,857 --> 00:25:56,598 None of this is easy. 542 00:25:56,642 --> 00:25:59,862 All of it is confusing and... 543 00:25:59,906 --> 00:26:02,604 hard and awful. 544 00:26:02,648 --> 00:26:06,652 But even with Alzheimer's, she's been healthy. 545 00:26:06,695 --> 00:26:09,655 And now I'm watching her struggle 546 00:26:09,698 --> 00:26:15,182 to do the most basic of human reflexes... breathing. 547 00:26:15,225 --> 00:26:19,839 And if she's saying she's not ready to go... 548 00:26:19,882 --> 00:26:22,668 I don't know what to think. 549 00:26:22,711 --> 00:26:24,713 I felt so sure 550 00:26:24,757 --> 00:26:27,063 that she wouldn't want to live like she's been living, 551 00:26:27,107 --> 00:26:30,327 but maybe I'm wrong, yeah? 552 00:26:30,371 --> 00:26:35,419 Maybe she's happy in the world her mind takes her to. 553 00:26:35,463 --> 00:26:37,987 Now I'm questioning every choice I made. 554 00:26:38,031 --> 00:26:39,598 I mean, s-should I be doing more? 555 00:26:39,641 --> 00:26:42,992 Should I move her to the ICU? Intubate her? 556 00:26:43,036 --> 00:26:45,255 Am I just thinking about how I feel 557 00:26:45,299 --> 00:26:50,260 instead of what's going on with her... inside of her mind? 558 00:26:50,304 --> 00:26:52,915 Do you want my opinion? Please. 559 00:26:52,959 --> 00:26:56,615 I've been the one who does everything, 560 00:26:56,658 --> 00:27:02,621 who fights tooth and nail against death at all costs. 561 00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:05,667 But truthfully, with my mom, 562 00:27:05,711 --> 00:27:09,671 it didn't give me more peace of mind in the end. 563 00:27:09,715 --> 00:27:12,587 It might have done the opposite. 564 00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:18,201 I didn't think so at the time, but it was the easier choice. 565 00:27:18,245 --> 00:27:20,639 To fall back on acting like a surgeon 566 00:27:20,682 --> 00:27:22,858 and searching for all the answers. 567 00:27:25,992 --> 00:27:30,866 Bailey, you've given your mom so much. 568 00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:32,999 She's gotten to raise you 569 00:27:33,042 --> 00:27:35,697 and watch you turn into this incredible surgeon 570 00:27:35,741 --> 00:27:38,178 and chief of a hospital. 571 00:27:38,221 --> 00:27:40,093 She watched you fall in love. 572 00:27:40,136 --> 00:27:42,704 Twice. Twice! 573 00:27:42,748 --> 00:27:45,533 And raise a family. 574 00:27:48,797 --> 00:27:53,323 Of course you're never going to feel ready to say goodbye, 575 00:27:53,367 --> 00:27:56,065 but... 576 00:27:56,109 --> 00:27:58,677 she's had an amazing life. 577 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:03,725 I brought my parents to Seattle kicking and fighting. 578 00:28:03,769 --> 00:28:06,249 I promised them, if they moved here, 579 00:28:06,293 --> 00:28:08,425 it was the right thing to do 580 00:28:08,469 --> 00:28:11,167 so they could be closer to their only daughter. 581 00:28:11,211 --> 00:28:14,649 I told them I knew best. Just listen to me. 582 00:28:14,693 --> 00:28:17,739 And if they hadn't done that, they would still be at home. 583 00:28:17,783 --> 00:28:19,001 Isolated. 584 00:28:19,045 --> 00:28:20,742 And Mom wouldn't be dying. Not yet. 585 00:28:20,786 --> 00:28:22,265 You don't know that. 586 00:28:22,309 --> 00:28:25,268 She was exposed at the place that I set up for them. 587 00:28:25,312 --> 00:28:30,883 The... The facility let someone move in from New York, 588 00:28:30,926 --> 00:28:33,189 a retired surgeon. 589 00:28:33,233 --> 00:28:36,584 He became symptomatic the day after his arrival. 590 00:28:36,627 --> 00:28:40,109 Afterthey said they had shut down to all outsiders, 591 00:28:40,153 --> 00:28:41,894 including family. 592 00:28:41,937 --> 00:28:43,840 How in the hell could you have known that was going to happen? 593 00:28:43,852 --> 00:28:48,378 How could you have known any of this was going to happen? 594 00:28:48,422 --> 00:28:50,946 Bailey, you cannot feel guilty about this. 595 00:28:56,473 --> 00:28:59,085 My mom, she left me five voicemails 596 00:28:59,128 --> 00:29:00,826 for my birthday last year. 597 00:29:00,869 --> 00:29:03,176 She kept calling 598 00:29:03,219 --> 00:29:04,687 because she forgot that she had already 599 00:29:04,699 --> 00:29:07,310 wished me happy birthday. 600 00:29:11,140 --> 00:29:12,359 I never deleted them 601 00:29:12,402 --> 00:29:15,405 because I guess I realized 602 00:29:15,449 --> 00:29:18,365 that it might be the last time she remembered at all. 603 00:29:21,237 --> 00:29:25,154 She raised me to be a good little girl. 604 00:29:25,198 --> 00:29:29,202 And even when I defied her... 605 00:29:29,245 --> 00:29:32,422 I was never disrespectful. 606 00:29:32,466 --> 00:29:36,905 And I tried to be good at everything. 607 00:29:36,949 --> 00:29:39,995 A good student, a good mother. 608 00:29:40,039 --> 00:29:43,694 Wife, doctor, chief. 609 00:29:43,738 --> 00:29:47,916 And now she just needs me to be a good daughter, 610 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:49,788 and I'm not sure how to do that, 611 00:29:49,831 --> 00:29:52,355 even though it's what I've been the longest. 612 00:29:52,399 --> 00:29:55,750 You've chosen palliative care. 613 00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:58,753 You're giving her the best care possible 614 00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:02,322 while keeping her as comfortable as possible. 615 00:30:02,365 --> 00:30:03,889 That is good. 616 00:30:03,932 --> 00:30:07,936 And it is kind and respectful 617 00:30:07,980 --> 00:30:09,198 and brave. 618 00:30:11,984 --> 00:30:15,074 I wish I could've given my mom a more dignified death. 619 00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:21,471 But I pushed so hard. 620 00:30:25,693 --> 00:30:28,043 You know, it's her own damn fault, really. 621 00:30:29,566 --> 00:30:32,352 My whole life, she told me to push through. 622 00:30:34,441 --> 00:30:37,400 Be strong. Fight the good fight. 623 00:30:37,444 --> 00:30:40,360 My mom was kind of the opposite. 624 00:30:40,403 --> 00:30:43,232 Like, overprotective, like, hovering. 625 00:30:43,276 --> 00:30:45,974 There was a reception 626 00:30:46,018 --> 00:30:49,195 sponsored by the Daughters of the Revolution. 627 00:30:49,238 --> 00:30:51,545 They had given me a scholarship. 628 00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:55,897 So my mom said I should take the scholarship 629 00:30:55,941 --> 00:30:58,030 but not go to the reception. 630 00:30:58,073 --> 00:30:59,933 But I didn't want to give them that satisfaction. 631 00:30:59,945 --> 00:31:02,773 No, I wanted them to see 632 00:31:02,817 --> 00:31:04,950 what "Miranda Bailey" looked like, right? 633 00:31:04,993 --> 00:31:09,041 So I went with my dad. 634 00:31:11,043 --> 00:31:14,089 We had a good laugh 635 00:31:14,133 --> 00:31:18,659 at those very proper ladies. 636 00:31:18,702 --> 00:31:20,922 I think you mean "white" ladies. 637 00:31:20,966 --> 00:31:23,055 Uh... Yeah. 638 00:31:23,098 --> 00:31:26,493 Watching them try to hide their horror 639 00:31:26,536 --> 00:31:30,062 when they saw who they had given their scholarship to, 640 00:31:30,105 --> 00:31:32,760 yeah, that was classic. 641 00:31:32,803 --> 00:31:34,370 Oh, and guidance counselors, oh, my God. 642 00:31:34,414 --> 00:31:36,895 Oh, yeah, yeah, always trying to suggest 643 00:31:36,938 --> 00:31:39,027 a school where we might feel "more comfortable." 644 00:31:39,071 --> 00:31:41,856 "Oh, Wellesley. 645 00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:44,380 That's a fine school, Miranda. 646 00:31:44,424 --> 00:31:48,167 But, um, I think state school is more your speed." 647 00:31:48,210 --> 00:31:50,038 Mm-hmm. Like I don't know my speed. 648 00:31:50,082 --> 00:31:52,301 Please. Try harder and do better 649 00:31:52,345 --> 00:31:53,781 just to be considered average. 650 00:31:53,824 --> 00:31:55,957 Or to be considered at all. 651 00:31:56,001 --> 00:31:59,918 But how they underestimate our greatness. 652 00:31:59,961 --> 00:32:02,529 Graduated magna cum laude... Mm-hmm. 653 00:32:02,572 --> 00:32:06,620 ...with my biology degree, by the way. 654 00:32:06,663 --> 00:32:11,668 And you better bet my mom cut out the graduation announcement 655 00:32:11,712 --> 00:32:14,410 from Wellesley and mailed it to my guidance counselor. 656 00:32:22,592 --> 00:32:25,204 I don't know how I'm gonna do this. 657 00:32:39,044 --> 00:32:41,872 Oh. Uh, I c... I can come back. 658 00:32:41,916 --> 00:32:44,701 No. No, no, no. Uh, no, I just finished up his EEG. 659 00:32:44,745 --> 00:32:46,442 I wanted to, um, make sure 660 00:32:46,486 --> 00:32:47,866 that the seizure was a one-and-done, 661 00:32:47,878 --> 00:32:51,578 before I head home, take 10 scalding hot showers, 662 00:32:51,621 --> 00:32:53,362 and hug up on everybody. 663 00:32:53,406 --> 00:32:57,584 Um, Maggie says that his numbers are holding. 664 00:32:57,627 --> 00:33:00,761 Good. Thanks. 665 00:33:10,466 --> 00:33:11,902 I don't know if you were ignoring me 666 00:33:11,946 --> 00:33:13,382 when I came by the house 667 00:33:13,426 --> 00:33:15,384 or... or if you were just too sick to answer, 668 00:33:15,428 --> 00:33:17,604 but I-I'm... I'm gonna go with too sick 669 00:33:17,647 --> 00:33:21,086 'cause then... then maybe there's a-a ray of hope for us, 670 00:33:21,129 --> 00:33:23,479 which I could really use right now, 671 00:33:23,523 --> 00:33:27,005 and I know you could. 672 00:33:27,048 --> 00:33:28,255 You know, I'm... I'm gonna stop asking. 673 00:33:28,267 --> 00:33:29,616 I'm just gonna decide. 674 00:33:29,659 --> 00:33:33,533 I-I'm deciding that we mean enough to each other 675 00:33:33,576 --> 00:33:37,841 that, even though I hurt you and I-I... 676 00:33:37,885 --> 00:33:39,974 I hurt you more than I could ever imagine, 677 00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:45,066 that a repair could be made, that... 678 00:33:45,110 --> 00:33:48,374 maybe you could remember 679 00:33:48,417 --> 00:33:50,190 some of the things that you don't hate about me 680 00:33:50,202 --> 00:33:55,076 and we... we could salvage our friendship because... 681 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,066 I don't know how we're going to get through this pandemic, 682 00:33:57,078 --> 00:33:58,906 but I do know... I do know 683 00:33:58,949 --> 00:34:00,777 that we're not going to get through it alone. 684 00:34:00,821 --> 00:34:03,650 So if you want to have nothing to do with me, 685 00:34:03,693 --> 00:34:05,509 then you are just going to have to get all better 686 00:34:05,521 --> 00:34:06,609 and tell me yourself, 687 00:34:06,653 --> 00:34:08,524 because until I hear you say the words, 688 00:34:08,568 --> 00:34:11,223 you're not gonna get rid of me. 689 00:34:14,704 --> 00:34:16,880 Oh, my God. Tom. Tom? 690 00:34:16,924 --> 00:34:19,144 Tom, can you hear me? 691 00:34:19,187 --> 00:34:21,537 It's me. It's... It's Teddy. 692 00:34:21,581 --> 00:34:23,322 You were wrong. 693 00:34:23,365 --> 00:34:24,410 Wrong about what? 694 00:34:25,889 --> 00:34:28,631 When you came to my house. 695 00:34:28,675 --> 00:34:29,980 I was ignoring you. 696 00:34:32,766 --> 00:34:36,857 Did you hear everything I-I just said? 697 00:34:39,164 --> 00:34:41,035 I hate you. 698 00:34:42,341 --> 00:34:44,691 Well, we both know that's not true. 699 00:34:49,261 --> 00:34:52,916 Hey. 700 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,093 What would you say to a sponge bath? 701 00:34:56,529 --> 00:34:58,792 Well, but, you know, as friends. 702 00:34:58,835 --> 00:35:01,055 Friendly sponge bath. 703 00:35:30,650 --> 00:35:32,347 I rounded on all of Bailey's patients. 704 00:35:32,391 --> 00:35:35,307 DeLuca said he'll keep an eye on them for the rest of the night. 705 00:35:35,350 --> 00:35:36,830 Yeah, thank you. 706 00:35:36,873 --> 00:35:39,398 Yeah, I hesitate to ask, but how's her mom doing? 707 00:35:39,441 --> 00:35:41,748 They don't expect her to last the night. 708 00:35:45,578 --> 00:35:46,535 That's... 709 00:35:48,233 --> 00:35:50,931 You realize half of our COVID patients are Black and brown? 710 00:35:50,974 --> 00:35:52,150 I know. 711 00:35:52,193 --> 00:35:53,977 In a city that's 7% Black? 712 00:35:54,021 --> 00:35:56,458 Like, how does that even compute? 713 00:35:56,502 --> 00:35:58,286 It doesn't. 714 00:35:58,330 --> 00:36:00,897 If I hear one more person blame it on pre-existing conditions 715 00:36:00,941 --> 00:36:04,074 as if the conditions aren't manmade to begin with... 716 00:36:04,118 --> 00:36:06,456 Like we're not pushed into the front line of all of our jobs 717 00:36:06,468 --> 00:36:09,210 and forced to live in overcrowded situations, 718 00:36:09,254 --> 00:36:11,212 surrounded by environmental hazards. 719 00:36:11,256 --> 00:36:12,605 Yeah, people want 720 00:36:12,648 --> 00:36:15,347 to make everything bad that happens your own fault. 721 00:36:15,390 --> 00:36:17,218 Yeah, when systemic racism is the root 722 00:36:17,262 --> 00:36:18,959 of the whole damn thing. Forget the pre-, 723 00:36:19,002 --> 00:36:20,830 it's the existing condition. 724 00:36:20,874 --> 00:36:22,310 Existing while Black. 725 00:36:28,490 --> 00:36:30,666 You know, Richard, we both know my mom is stubborn. 726 00:36:32,451 --> 00:36:34,092 And everything she's been through, I feel like 727 00:36:34,104 --> 00:36:36,498 she thinks she's invincible now, and she's not. 728 00:36:38,283 --> 00:36:41,590 We can't lose her, Richard. 729 00:36:41,634 --> 00:36:43,766 The world can't lose her, you know? 730 00:36:43,810 --> 00:36:46,116 It's been handled. 731 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:47,553 Oh, you talked to her? 732 00:36:47,596 --> 00:36:49,207 Oh, good. 733 00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:50,599 What'd you say? 734 00:36:50,643 --> 00:36:54,037 I think it's best kept between us. 735 00:36:54,081 --> 00:36:56,997 Why are you being weird about it? 736 00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,173 'Cause it's about sex, isn't it? 737 00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:01,306 It is.Thanks. Right. Good night. 738 00:37:07,268 --> 00:37:10,489 Oh, my God. That smells so good. 739 00:37:10,532 --> 00:37:12,230 We're sharing, right? 740 00:37:12,273 --> 00:37:14,667 Pod together, eat together? Please say yes. 741 00:37:14,710 --> 00:37:17,017 I delivered a baby today. 742 00:37:17,060 --> 00:37:18,061 Is that a yes? Yes! 743 00:37:18,105 --> 00:37:19,541 Oh. Yes, yes. 744 00:37:19,585 --> 00:37:21,282 Wait, weren't we together all day? 745 00:37:21,326 --> 00:37:24,024 What do you mean you delivered a secret baby? 746 00:37:24,067 --> 00:37:26,374 Happened very quick. I went to check on Luna, 747 00:37:26,418 --> 00:37:28,724 and this nurse said that there was an imminent delivery, 748 00:37:28,768 --> 00:37:33,599 and the next second, I was catching a baby. 749 00:37:33,642 --> 00:37:38,299 I was literally the first person in the universe to hold him. 750 00:37:38,343 --> 00:37:40,083 And then I handed him to his parents, 751 00:37:40,127 --> 00:37:43,348 and their faces were just... 752 00:37:43,391 --> 00:37:45,132 No wonder Val's so depressed. 753 00:37:45,175 --> 00:37:48,004 It's the happiest thing I've ever seen. 754 00:37:48,048 --> 00:37:52,574 It was just so pure and simple and perfect. 755 00:37:52,618 --> 00:37:54,141 I was buzzing. 756 00:37:54,184 --> 00:37:56,143 But it was a total random fluke, 757 00:37:56,186 --> 00:37:59,059 and tomorrow, I'll be back to the same depressing crap. 758 00:37:59,102 --> 00:38:02,932 I mean, you did save Val's life today. 759 00:38:02,976 --> 00:38:04,412 You think that's why Carina DeLuca 760 00:38:04,456 --> 00:38:05,880 is always in such a good mood? 761 00:38:05,892 --> 00:38:07,937 She's just, you know, handing out babies, 762 00:38:07,981 --> 00:38:10,375 and it shoots her serotonin level through the roof. 763 00:38:10,418 --> 00:38:14,248 Well, yeah, but doesn't she also have, like, an orgasm hobby? 764 00:38:15,554 --> 00:38:16,903 What if I changed? 765 00:38:16,946 --> 00:38:18,383 Changed what? 766 00:38:18,426 --> 00:38:20,167 Careers. Programs. 767 00:38:20,210 --> 00:38:22,648 Is that insane? 768 00:38:22,691 --> 00:38:24,563 Khan did it, and what he did 769 00:38:24,606 --> 00:38:27,479 is so much harder than switching specialties. 770 00:38:27,522 --> 00:38:30,264 He started over with nothing. 771 00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:32,527 And I know... I know I've put years into surgery, 772 00:38:32,571 --> 00:38:35,487 but if it's not bringing me any joy, 773 00:38:35,530 --> 00:38:40,143 then wouldn't it be insane to notchange? 774 00:38:40,187 --> 00:38:44,234 I think you eat and then sleep before you make any major li... 775 00:38:44,278 --> 00:38:47,020 Oh, my God. I sound like my mother. 776 00:38:47,063 --> 00:38:49,675 I want to be happy. 777 00:38:49,718 --> 00:38:51,416 Everyone's dying. 778 00:38:51,459 --> 00:38:54,070 Meredith's... 779 00:38:54,114 --> 00:38:57,030 Tomorrow is not promised. 780 00:38:57,073 --> 00:38:58,684 Not in marriage. 781 00:38:58,727 --> 00:39:00,642 Not in life. 782 00:39:00,686 --> 00:39:03,253 I want to be happy. 783 00:39:08,389 --> 00:39:11,784 She's decompensating. 784 00:39:11,827 --> 00:39:15,527 You should go in. 785 00:39:15,570 --> 00:39:18,660 She barely knows who I am. 786 00:39:18,704 --> 00:39:21,097 And I want to be there for her. 787 00:39:21,141 --> 00:39:24,797 I-I want her husband to be there for her. 788 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:30,890 She deserves to be surrounded by love and family. 789 00:39:30,933 --> 00:39:33,022 But Dad's in quarantine. 790 00:39:33,066 --> 00:39:36,852 He's high-risk, and I don't want him to expose anyone. 791 00:39:36,896 --> 00:39:39,289 I don't want him to be exposed. 792 00:39:39,333 --> 00:39:42,641 I know this is not what you imagined for your mother. 793 00:39:42,684 --> 00:39:45,774 And I'm sorry about that. 794 00:39:45,818 --> 00:39:49,648 But she needs you now. 795 00:39:49,691 --> 00:39:52,433 It's time. 796 00:39:52,477 --> 00:39:53,652 And if you don't go in, 797 00:39:53,695 --> 00:39:56,698 I promise you will never forgive yourself. 798 00:39:59,005 --> 00:40:02,008 I'm scared. 799 00:40:03,531 --> 00:40:06,186 I know. 800 00:40:08,275 --> 00:40:09,972 Patients lose their power 801 00:40:10,016 --> 00:40:12,975 when they are referred to as "Bed number 4" 802 00:40:13,019 --> 00:40:15,804 or "arm pain guy." 803 00:40:16,892 --> 00:40:19,068 Even in their deaths, 804 00:40:19,112 --> 00:40:21,810 they are not faceless. 805 00:40:21,854 --> 00:40:24,030 They are not nameless. 806 00:40:25,118 --> 00:40:27,599 They are more than statistics. 807 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,301 More than "co-morbid conditions" 808 00:40:34,344 --> 00:40:36,390 or "nursing-home patients." 809 00:40:38,479 --> 00:40:41,874 They are sons, brothers, and uncles 810 00:40:41,917 --> 00:40:43,397 who speak five languages 811 00:40:43,441 --> 00:40:47,488 and run restaurants... Wade Klein, 66. 812 00:40:49,098 --> 00:40:52,493 They are great-grandfathers who love Broadway... 813 00:40:52,537 --> 00:40:55,191 Jacob Lappin, 92. 814 00:41:07,900 --> 00:41:11,817 They are baseball loving nurses with an easy laugh... 815 00:41:11,860 --> 00:41:14,080 Dane Wilson, 45. 816 00:41:39,366 --> 00:41:42,761 It's okay. 817 00:41:45,894 --> 00:41:48,723 They are the world's greatest mothers, 818 00:41:48,767 --> 00:41:52,205 and they are the most beloved wives... 819 00:41:52,248 --> 00:41:56,731 Elena Rose Bailey, 84. 820 00:42:27,457 --> 00:42:30,417 Captions by VITAC... 59901

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