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My mom used to tell me
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00:00:05,997 --> 00:00:08,108
never to judge people
until you know their story.
3
00:00:08,132 --> 00:00:09,343
Yeah. I can do that.
4
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You might think you understand,
5
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:20,520
but you don't.
6
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:25,859
That's why, as a patient,
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it's important to have an advocate.
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Perfect timing.
9
00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:36,837
I just finished my last
tele-health patient.
10
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Oh, I just woke up.
11
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Aw. How'd you sleep?
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00:00:40,831 --> 00:00:42,542
Would have slept better
if you were laying next to me.
13
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Someone to tell your story, to be
your voice...
14
00:00:47,104 --> 00:00:49,416
...to say your name.
15
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,919
Especially when you don't
have the voice yourself.
16
00:00:52,943 --> 00:00:55,055
The great divide
17
00:00:55,079 --> 00:00:57,424
Her oxygen requirements
have come down this much?
18
00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,993
Ah. Cytokine storm's leveling off, too.
19
00:01:00,017 --> 00:01:02,829
I mean, look at her CRP, ferritin.
20
00:01:02,853 --> 00:01:04,097
That is great.
21
00:01:04,121 --> 00:01:05,799
Oh, I ordered a repeat chest X-ray
22
00:01:05,823 --> 00:01:07,467
to see if the infiltrates
are decreasing, too.
23
00:01:07,491 --> 00:01:09,336
You talk to her? She feel any better?
24
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,904
Just long enough to tell her
that we got her into
25
00:01:10,928 --> 00:01:13,173
the drug trial.
But she's pretty exhausted.
26
00:01:13,197 --> 00:01:15,008
Well, it's probably the side effects.
27
00:01:15,032 --> 00:01:17,978
And she can sleep all day
if these numbers keep improving.
28
00:01:18,002 --> 00:01:19,145
Keep me posted.
29
00:01:20,971 --> 00:01:23,016
Jo? Good morning.
30
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,385
It's time to get up.
1
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♪ It's a brand-new day ♪
2
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♪ The sun is out to play ?
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God, will you shut up? I'm awake.
32
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Oh, okay. Are you going to work?
33
00:01:34,919 --> 00:01:36,296
Yes.
34
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:38,598
At the regular time or...?
35
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:42,669
Everything okay?
36
00:01:42,693 --> 00:01:45,172
Oh, yeah, everything's great.
37
00:01:45,196 --> 00:01:47,140
I barely get to operate anymore,
38
00:01:47,164 --> 00:01:50,377
and when I do, they don't even
recover enough to go home.
39
00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:51,712
Oh, and how could I forget
40
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:55,449
the refrigerator truck
full of dead bodies
41
00:01:55,473 --> 00:01:57,684
that I get to pass on the way
from the parking lot
42
00:01:57,708 --> 00:01:59,478
to the hospital?
43
00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:01,521
The only reason I'm still in bed
44
00:02:01,545 --> 00:02:04,725
is that I am paralyzed with excitement.
45
00:02:06,917 --> 00:02:09,062
- So you're going?
- Why do you care?
46
00:02:09,086 --> 00:02:12,132
My bike has a flat tire,
and you're my ride.
47
00:02:13,924 --> 00:02:16,570
She said the salad I made was too small.
48
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,839
So I go back and make her a bigger one.
49
00:02:18,863 --> 00:02:21,041
She says I must hate her
because it's too big.
50
00:02:21,065 --> 00:02:22,541
- Mm.
- I just can't win.
51
00:02:22,565 --> 00:02:24,077
No, she appreciates you, Dad.
52
00:02:24,101 --> 00:02:26,079
It's not her. It's the dementia.
53
00:02:26,103 --> 00:02:28,849
Knowing that
doesn't make it hurt any less.
54
00:02:28,873 --> 00:02:29,916
We're gonna get through this.
55
00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:32,419
We? I only see you on the phone.
56
00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:35,055
And you can't even bother
to hold the thing still.
57
00:02:35,079 --> 00:02:36,423
I have a hospital to run.
58
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,091
And I didn't know there'd be a pandemic.
59
00:02:38,115 --> 00:02:39,926
Ben's sister gets to stay with you.
60
00:02:39,950 --> 00:02:42,062
To... With the boys.
61
00:02:42,086 --> 00:02:43,930
Who I don't see either.
62
00:02:43,954 --> 00:02:46,032
Ben's staying at the station,
63
00:02:46,056 --> 00:02:49,436
and half the time, I'm too tired
to make it to my hotel.
64
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:53,273
I promise Silver Villas is
more comfortable than my office.
65
00:02:53,297 --> 00:02:56,376
I just hate this. I hate all of it.
66
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,444
It's not fair.
67
00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:59,780
Well, COVID's not big on fair.
68
00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,114
Listen, I have to go.
69
00:03:01,138 --> 00:03:03,041
I love you.
70
00:03:04,074 --> 00:03:06,286
Don't go outside, Dad, okay?
It's not safe.
71
00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:09,222
Tell your mom that. She's
the one always trying to leave.
72
00:03:09,246 --> 00:03:11,224
I love you, too.
73
00:03:12,983 --> 00:03:14,795
Dr. Wakeman to Neurology.
74
00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,830
Dr. Wakeman to Neurology.
75
00:03:19,156 --> 00:03:20,534
Ah. Good morning, Avery.
76
00:03:20,558 --> 00:03:21,735
Not really.
77
00:03:21,759 --> 00:03:23,270
You know how many trachs
I've had to do this week
78
00:03:23,294 --> 00:03:25,238
on long-term vent patients
'cause of COVID?
79
00:03:25,262 --> 00:03:27,274
No, but I have a feeling
you're gonna tell me.
80
00:03:27,298 --> 00:03:28,809
11, Richard.
81
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,334
Gonna be 12 in about an hour,
82
00:03:30,358 --> 00:03:31,778
and this number's
gonna keep on going up,
83
00:03:31,802 --> 00:03:34,281
which is why I need you
to help me with this.
84
00:03:34,305 --> 00:03:36,116
Oh, when did your mother
go to San Francisco?
85
00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:38,952
What? No, no. That's a...
That's a fake video background
86
00:03:38,976 --> 00:03:40,587
for when she talks to Harriet.
That's not the point. Look.
87
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:42,189
You want her to change the background?
88
00:03:42,213 --> 00:03:44,591
I want you to get your wife
to wear a damn mask, okay?
89
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:47,227
She's in a germ-collecting car
with her driver with no mask.
90
00:03:47,251 --> 00:03:48,829
She wears masks.
91
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:50,096
On her chin, okay,
92
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,933
or dangling from her ear
like a weird piece of jewelry.
93
00:03:52,957 --> 00:03:55,869
She is living with cancer.
She is immunocompromised.
94
00:03:55,893 --> 00:03:57,103
I got to get to surgery.
95
00:03:57,127 --> 00:03:59,272
Just get her to wear the stupid
mask correctly, please.
96
00:03:59,296 --> 00:04:00,707
Well, you know what it's like
97
00:04:00,731 --> 00:04:02,175
to get your mother to do something!
98
00:04:02,199 --> 00:04:04,968
Yeah, that's why
I'm calling for reinforcements.
99
00:04:08,005 --> 00:04:10,684
Val Ashton,
status post right hepatectomy
100
00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:11,952
with segments 5 through 8
101
00:04:11,976 --> 00:04:14,187
due to bleeding from hepatic pregnancy.
102
00:04:14,211 --> 00:04:15,121
Her drains were pulled two days ago,
103
00:04:15,145 --> 00:04:17,023
but this morning she's tachy to 120,
104
00:04:17,047 --> 00:04:18,191
her BP has decreased,
105
00:04:18,215 --> 00:04:20,527
and transaminases and bili
are both trending upwards.
106
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,462
She's kind, giving, successful,
107
00:04:22,486 --> 00:04:24,998
enjoys a raunchy romance novel.
108
00:04:25,022 --> 00:04:26,766
Without shame.
109
00:04:26,790 --> 00:04:28,835
I need compliments, too, guys.
110
00:04:28,859 --> 00:04:30,904
I'm glad that you're
in good spirits, Val,
111
00:04:30,928 --> 00:04:34,441
but, um, your labs are concerning.
112
00:04:34,465 --> 00:04:35,842
I'm ordering a CT.
113
00:04:35,866 --> 00:04:38,111
I carried a baby in my liver.
114
00:04:38,135 --> 00:04:42,616
Can't you make an exception for
moms and babies who defy odds?
115
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,851
I-I'm sick of video chats.
116
00:04:44,875 --> 00:04:48,121
Luna's gonna think
her mom's a pixelated blob.
117
00:04:48,145 --> 00:04:50,523
Technically, that's what
you'd look like even in person.
118
00:04:50,547 --> 00:04:52,656
Babies can only see
about six inches in front...
119
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,653
Schmitt! Not the point.
120
00:04:55,252 --> 00:04:57,063
Val, I know that it's not
what you wanted to hear,
121
00:04:57,087 --> 00:05:00,901
but Luna's on a vent, and
moving her is very precarious.
122
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:02,903
Plus, we... we need to make sure
that you're taken care of
123
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,170
before you meet her.
124
00:05:04,194 --> 00:05:06,740
For Luna's sake and for yours.
125
00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,108
Okay?
126
00:05:12,269 --> 00:05:13,422
Do we know if he's okay?
127
00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:15,173
Not sure. This is him.
128
00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:17,183
You're not listening...
129
00:05:17,207 --> 00:05:18,718
I have to be at home.
I don't want to miss it...
130
00:05:18,742 --> 00:05:19,920
Oh, my God.
131
00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:21,154
Okay, we have a COVID-positive male,
132
00:05:21,178 --> 00:05:23,423
heart rate 123, BP 90 over 60.
133
00:05:23,447 --> 00:05:25,892
Pulse ox of 92 on 100%, high flow.
134
00:05:25,916 --> 00:05:27,761
He's incoherent and disoriented.
135
00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:29,863
I just saw him
two days ago. He was fine.
136
00:05:29,887 --> 00:05:30,931
Is this a stroke?
137
00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:33,199
Could be. Or encephalitis
brought on by COVID.
138
00:05:33,223 --> 00:05:34,100
I have tickets to Opening Day,
139
00:05:34,124 --> 00:05:35,835
and David's dying to catch a fly ball.
140
00:05:35,859 --> 00:05:37,407
- Who's David?
- His son.
141
00:05:37,431 --> 00:05:39,205
Let's get him to a COVID room now.
142
00:05:39,229 --> 00:05:41,450
Hang on. He's seizing.
143
00:05:42,299 --> 00:05:43,209
Let's get him on his side.
144
00:05:43,233 --> 00:05:45,312
Ready? 1, 2, 3.
145
00:05:45,336 --> 00:05:52,435
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
146
00:05:52,499 --> 00:05:55,082
No signs of head trauma,
but, Helm, call up to CT,
147
00:05:55,106 --> 00:05:56,183
let them know we'll be up
as soon as possible.
148
00:05:56,207 --> 00:05:57,887
We'll do it. Helm, out.
149
00:05:57,912 --> 00:05:59,223
But I've already had COVID...
150
00:05:59,247 --> 00:06:00,758
Doesn't matter. You're a resident,
151
00:06:00,782 --> 00:06:02,860
and he's positive. Out. Now.
152
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:03,894
Get off me. Stay back.
153
00:06:03,918 --> 00:06:06,864
Tom. Tom, it's me.
It's Teddy. Try to stay calm.
154
00:06:06,888 --> 00:06:08,232
I... Don't... Don't touch me.
155
00:06:08,256 --> 00:06:09,967
Take it easy. We're just
trying to take care of you.
156
00:06:09,991 --> 00:06:11,502
- Push two of Ativan.
- No, I don't... I don't know you.
157
00:06:11,526 --> 00:06:13,304
- I don't know you!
- He's post-ictal.
158
00:06:13,328 --> 00:06:14,339
No, I don't... I don't know you.
159
00:06:14,363 --> 00:06:15,473
Just wait a minute,
and the meds will kick in.
160
00:06:17,565 --> 00:06:20,044
Teddy, I got this, okay?
161
00:06:20,068 --> 00:06:21,779
Please, call up to CT.
162
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,885
Okay.
163
00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:29,987
Hey, Angel.
164
00:06:30,011 --> 00:06:33,824
I'd be there with you,
but the mean doctors say no.
165
00:06:33,848 --> 00:06:35,860
Can you say "mean"?
166
00:06:35,884 --> 00:06:39,363
Can you hold the phone close
enough for me to smell her head?
167
00:06:39,387 --> 00:06:41,265
How about I bring you
one of her blankets?
168
00:06:41,289 --> 00:06:44,235
Ah! I will literally marry you.
169
00:06:44,259 --> 00:06:46,137
Val.
170
00:06:46,161 --> 00:06:48,839
Crap. That is your bad-news face.
171
00:06:48,863 --> 00:06:51,942
Your CT showed that you have an abscess
172
00:06:51,966 --> 00:06:54,812
that's eroding into an artery
in your liver,
173
00:06:54,836 --> 00:06:57,415
causing what's called a pseudoaneurysm.
174
00:06:57,439 --> 00:06:58,516
Okay.
175
00:06:58,540 --> 00:06:59,850
It's a weakening of the blood vessel,
176
00:06:59,874 --> 00:07:01,152
which is causing it to leak.
177
00:07:01,176 --> 00:07:03,354
We need to take you to surgery
right away to repair it.
178
00:07:03,378 --> 00:07:06,618
I am so sorry that it's not better news.
179
00:07:09,984 --> 00:07:11,562
Leave.
180
00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:19,003
Eight years.
181
00:07:19,027 --> 00:07:23,641
I've wanted to be a mom for eight years.
182
00:07:23,665 --> 00:07:26,677
I've known my baby's name.
183
00:07:26,701 --> 00:07:29,146
I've known the color
I would paint the nursery.
184
00:07:29,170 --> 00:07:33,217
I've known the made-up lullaby
I would sing at night.
185
00:07:33,241 --> 00:07:36,153
And now that I finally
have the chance...
186
00:07:36,177 --> 00:07:38,355
being a mom is just some weird TV show
187
00:07:38,379 --> 00:07:40,891
I'm watching on my phone,
188
00:07:40,915 --> 00:07:43,794
and I don't know
if it will ever be real.
189
00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:49,900
Please make it real.
190
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,604
Have you heard about Koracick?
191
00:07:53,628 --> 00:07:56,006
Yes. He's getting the world's best care,
192
00:07:56,030 --> 00:07:57,708
and I'm trying not to think about it.
193
00:07:57,732 --> 00:08:00,978
So, can you wait that long
for the converted rooms?
194
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,646
Is sooner an option?
195
00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:04,548
See, even with the lockdown,
we are getting slammed.
196
00:08:04,572 --> 00:08:07,051
We got six cases today from
assisted-living facilities,
197
00:08:07,075 --> 00:08:09,086
- three from the same one.
- I'll go check.
198
00:08:09,110 --> 00:08:11,822
- Oh, which one?
- Silver Villas in Ballard.
199
00:08:11,846 --> 00:08:14,091
COVID spreads through
those places like wildfire.
200
00:08:14,115 --> 00:08:15,159
Where are you going?!
201
00:08:15,183 --> 00:08:16,894
Uh, that's where my parents are.
202
00:08:16,918 --> 00:08:18,028
Next.
203
00:08:18,052 --> 00:08:19,930
- A rescue mission?
- Yes.
204
00:08:19,954 --> 00:08:22,133
Just stop what you're doing
and get to Silver Villas.
205
00:08:22,157 --> 00:08:23,234
To grab your mom and dad?
206
00:08:23,258 --> 00:08:24,902
I've been trying
to call the front office,
207
00:08:24,926 --> 00:08:26,070
but they're not answering.
208
00:08:26,094 --> 00:08:27,138
Well, where do you want me to take them?
209
00:08:27,162 --> 00:08:28,606
Uh, to my hotel.
210
00:08:28,630 --> 00:08:30,574
Y... Uh, I don't care.
Just get them out.
211
00:08:30,598 --> 00:08:32,910
Yeah, I'm on it. I love you.
212
00:08:39,073 --> 00:08:41,292
- Okay, lap pads...
- Here you go.
213
00:08:42,110 --> 00:08:44,421
Khan was an attending in Pakistan.
214
00:08:44,445 --> 00:08:45,823
We could probably be assisting him.
215
00:08:45,847 --> 00:08:47,358
Not gonna happen.
216
00:08:47,382 --> 00:08:49,460
No, I know. I just... Making a point.
217
00:08:49,484 --> 00:08:50,561
Suction.
218
00:08:50,585 --> 00:08:51,929
You were a vascular surgeon, right?
219
00:08:51,953 --> 00:08:53,130
Yes, Dr. Schmitt,
220
00:08:53,154 --> 00:08:55,065
one of the first to be certified
in my country.
221
00:08:55,089 --> 00:08:56,200
Why would you leave?
222
00:08:56,224 --> 00:08:57,434
Okay, Kelly clamp.
223
00:08:57,458 --> 00:08:59,436
Uh, it wasn't exactly a choice.
224
00:08:59,460 --> 00:09:01,272
I love my home, it shaped me.
225
00:09:01,296 --> 00:09:03,274
Still nice not to worry
about religious persecution
226
00:09:03,298 --> 00:09:04,341
or bombings.
227
00:09:04,365 --> 00:09:06,210
- So I just started over.
- Clamp.
228
00:09:06,234 --> 00:09:09,046
Just? It's a five-year residency.
229
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,048
If I finished this
and had to start over...
230
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:13,083
Ugh. Pass. Can you imagine?
231
00:09:13,107 --> 00:09:14,752
Can you imagine paying
more attention to the field
232
00:09:14,776 --> 00:09:16,420
so the patient doesn't die?
233
00:09:16,444 --> 00:09:18,255
Damn it. Her tissue's so friable
234
00:09:18,279 --> 00:09:20,257
it's just disintegrating into my hands.
235
00:09:20,281 --> 00:09:22,092
- We got to get control of...
- I know what we need to do!
236
00:09:22,116 --> 00:09:24,595
Everyone shift. We're doing
a modified pringle maneuver.
237
00:09:24,619 --> 00:09:26,096
Clamp.
238
00:09:30,825 --> 00:09:31,969
Okay, thank you.
239
00:09:31,993 --> 00:09:34,738
Hey. Your phone has been ringing
like crazy.
240
00:09:34,762 --> 00:09:36,096
Oh.
241
00:09:38,433 --> 00:09:41,145
Oh, wow. Okay.
242
00:09:41,169 --> 00:09:43,047
Uh, okay. Let's just, uh...
243
00:09:44,138 --> 00:09:45,749
- I tried to call you.
- Ben, how did it...
244
00:09:45,773 --> 00:09:47,918
- I picked up your mom, and she's sick.
- Wait, slow down. I ca...
245
00:09:47,942 --> 00:09:50,120
- We're at the hospital.
- Now?!
246
00:09:50,144 --> 00:09:52,289
Right now.
247
00:09:52,313 --> 00:09:53,991
Mom!
248
00:09:59,153 --> 00:10:00,631
Mom?
249
00:10:00,655 --> 00:10:02,066
Hey, it's me.
250
00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:03,902
I'm here.
251
00:10:07,293 --> 00:10:09,435
- William?
- Alright, okay.
252
00:10:09,459 --> 00:10:10,909
Where... Where... Where's William?
253
00:10:10,934 --> 00:10:12,678
Mom, you're in the hospital.
254
00:10:12,703 --> 00:10:14,013
We're gonna take care of you.
255
00:10:14,037 --> 00:10:15,648
He's gonna be here soon, right?
256
00:10:15,672 --> 00:10:18,017
- Okay.
- Yes, yes. He's coming soon.
257
00:10:18,041 --> 00:10:20,153
- Okay?
- Just lay back and relax.
258
00:10:20,177 --> 00:10:23,022
I can't wear this.
I got to get my clothes.
259
00:10:23,046 --> 00:10:24,124
Where my clothes?
260
00:10:24,148 --> 00:10:25,959
Okay. She seems really agitated.
261
00:10:25,983 --> 00:10:27,660
Are there any meds
we can give her to calm her?
262
00:10:27,684 --> 00:10:29,162
I can order some meds?
263
00:10:30,954 --> 00:10:35,702
♪ I got sunshine ♪
264
00:10:35,726 --> 00:10:40,206
♪ On a cloudy day ♪
265
00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:45,478
- ♪ When it's cold outside ♪
- ♪ Cold outside ♪
266
00:10:45,502 --> 00:10:47,981
- ♪ I got the month of May ♪
- ♪ I got the month of May ♪
267
00:10:48,005 --> 00:10:50,150
Yeah.
268
00:10:50,174 --> 00:10:56,389
- ♪ I guess you'd say ♪
- ♪ I guess you'd say ♪
269
00:10:56,413 --> 00:11:02,562
- ♪ What can make me feel this way? ♪
- ♪ What can make me feel... way? ♪
270
00:11:02,586 --> 00:11:06,399
- ♪ My girl ♪
- ♪ My girl ♪
271
00:11:06,423 --> 00:11:07,634
♪ My girl ♪
272
00:11:07,658 --> 00:11:09,903
♪ Talking 'bout ♪
273
00:11:09,927 --> 00:11:14,040
- ♪ My girl ♪
- ♪ My girl ♪
274
00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:16,776
- ♪ My girl ♪
- ♪ My girl ♪
275
00:11:20,370 --> 00:11:21,581
What do you see, Shepherd?
276
00:11:21,605 --> 00:11:23,683
Uh, I see a lesion on his thalamus,
277
00:11:23,707 --> 00:11:25,718
but it's small, so that's something.
278
00:11:25,742 --> 00:11:27,620
Have you been able to talk
to him since the seizure?
279
00:11:27,644 --> 00:11:29,756
He was post-ictal,
and they gave him lorazepam,
280
00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:31,491
so he wasn't really coherent.
281
00:11:31,515 --> 00:11:34,260
Okay. I'm coming in.
282
00:11:34,284 --> 00:11:36,629
Are... Are you sure? I mean, do
you want me to call Dr. Mehta?
283
00:11:36,653 --> 00:11:38,364
It's Tom. I'm coming.
284
00:11:38,388 --> 00:11:39,933
Thank you.
285
00:11:40,591 --> 00:11:43,736
Uh, Ellis decided she didn't
want her mac and cheese
286
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,562
after begging me to make it,
so if you're hungry...
287
00:11:47,731 --> 00:11:49,209
What's going on?
288
00:11:49,233 --> 00:11:51,911
It looks like Tom is having some
neuro complications from COVID.
289
00:11:51,935 --> 00:11:54,746
- I thought he was asymptomatic.
- Yeah, so did I.
290
00:11:54,771 --> 00:11:57,517
I just pumped, so there is milk
in the fridge for Scout.
291
00:11:57,541 --> 00:11:58,751
Uh, Bailey and Ellis need a nap.
292
00:11:58,775 --> 00:12:01,721
Make sure you check in with Zola
about her homework.
293
00:12:01,745 --> 00:12:05,124
If Scout starts to fuss,
just try the yoga ball.
294
00:12:05,148 --> 00:12:06,726
What am I forgetting?
295
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,127
To breathe.
296
00:12:08,151 --> 00:12:09,629
We'll be fine here, okay?
297
00:12:09,653 --> 00:12:11,798
Go. Save your friend.
298
00:12:13,457 --> 00:12:15,235
He was my teacher.
299
00:12:15,259 --> 00:12:16,369
And he saved my brain.
300
00:12:16,393 --> 00:12:18,738
And, uh, he was my first sex after Owen,
301
00:12:18,762 --> 00:12:20,807
which shouldn't matter,
but it kind of saved me, too,
302
00:12:20,831 --> 00:12:23,710
so I don't want him to die.
303
00:12:23,734 --> 00:12:27,780
And I don't want to leave Scout,
and I'm scared of the pandemic.
304
00:12:27,804 --> 00:12:29,649
You had sex with Koracick?
305
00:12:29,673 --> 00:12:31,007
What?
306
00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,994
Hey. Oh, um,
Mr. Anderson's trach in 4722
307
00:12:41,018 --> 00:12:42,662
- needs to be suctioned, please.
- I'm on it.
308
00:12:42,686 --> 00:12:44,664
Hey, got your page.
Did you hear anything from Mom?
309
00:12:44,688 --> 00:12:46,766
She's just texting me back
hearts and "Love you, baby"s
310
00:12:46,790 --> 00:12:48,001
like that's gonna shut me up.
311
00:12:48,025 --> 00:12:50,169
- No, I haven't had the time.
- Richard, this is not something
312
00:12:50,193 --> 00:12:51,971
that can wait till your schedule
frees up, right?
313
00:12:51,995 --> 00:12:53,840
It's my mom. She's gonna give me
a damn rage stroke.
314
00:12:53,864 --> 00:12:57,677
Bailey's mother was just
admitted, COVID-positive.
315
00:12:57,701 --> 00:12:59,012
It's bad.
316
00:12:59,036 --> 00:13:01,014
Look, can you fill in for her
at the board meeting today,
317
00:13:01,038 --> 00:13:03,182
take a few of her patients?
318
00:13:03,206 --> 00:13:05,118
We'll all pitch in.
319
00:13:05,142 --> 00:13:07,487
Yeah, of course. Whatever she needs.
320
00:13:10,714 --> 00:13:13,693
We took a lot more of
her liver than I was hoping to.
321
00:13:13,717 --> 00:13:14,994
Keep an eye on her liver panel.
322
00:13:15,018 --> 00:13:16,729
The next few hours will be crucial.
323
00:13:16,753 --> 00:13:17,997
You think she'll need a transplant?
324
00:13:18,021 --> 00:13:20,500
Knowing her luck, probably.
325
00:13:20,524 --> 00:13:23,703
But if she needs it,
we can try liver dialysis first.
326
00:13:23,727 --> 00:13:26,873
Khan, finish the op notes.
Keep an eye on her.
327
00:13:26,897 --> 00:13:29,676
Dr. Wilson, thank you,
for allowing me to observe your process.
328
00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:31,344
That was amazing.
329
00:13:31,368 --> 00:13:32,879
She could still need a transplant.
330
00:13:32,903 --> 00:13:35,915
Yes, I understand, but
you resected most of her liver,
331
00:13:35,939 --> 00:13:37,050
and she's still alive.
332
00:13:37,074 --> 00:13:38,484
I mean, do you know how rare that is?
333
00:13:38,508 --> 00:13:41,788
That... That's unheard of
in so many parts of the world.
334
00:13:41,812 --> 00:13:44,766
I know. Op notes. I'm going.
335
00:13:45,882 --> 00:13:47,827
Was I really amazing,
336
00:13:47,851 --> 00:13:50,596
or is he just some weird happy person?
337
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:54,290
If you impressed him,
I think amazing's a safe bet.
338
00:13:56,193 --> 00:13:58,238
Glad you got to operate again.
339
00:14:03,667 --> 00:14:05,878
Her ferritin is 2087.
340
00:14:05,902 --> 00:14:08,514
600 is severe in COVID.
341
00:14:08,538 --> 00:14:11,484
Her CRP is 87.
342
00:14:11,508 --> 00:14:13,372
Creatinine's 2.3.
343
00:14:13,415 --> 00:14:16,055
W-What about her oxygen requirements?
344
00:14:17,714 --> 00:14:19,892
She's at 100% F-I-O2.
345
00:14:19,916 --> 00:14:21,636
40 liters.
346
00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:24,230
She went into A-fib an hour ago.
347
00:14:24,254 --> 00:14:27,800
We pushed dig, but so far, no response.
348
00:14:29,126 --> 00:14:31,704
Her systolic was in the 80s,
but we pushed a fluid bolus
349
00:14:31,728 --> 00:14:33,940
and got it back up into the 90s.
350
00:14:33,964 --> 00:14:38,778
So she's starting to have
multi-system organ failure
351
00:14:38,802 --> 00:14:41,381
in addition to her cytokine storm.
352
00:14:41,405 --> 00:14:43,716
I'm sorry, Bailey.
353
00:14:45,776 --> 00:14:47,120
There is still more we can do.
354
00:14:47,144 --> 00:14:50,023
We can take her to the ICU, intubate...
355
00:14:50,047 --> 00:14:52,458
She didn't want to be on machines.
356
00:14:52,482 --> 00:14:56,062
Or be kept alive with medication.
357
00:15:01,458 --> 00:15:04,270
I got to call my dad. Um...
358
00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:08,474
I'm here if you need me.
359
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,345
H-How... How do I tell my dad
360
00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:16,274
that the love of his life
361
00:15:17,007 --> 00:15:19,552
won't make it through the night?
362
00:15:33,311 --> 00:15:35,523
Neuro exam's intact. No deficits.
363
00:15:35,547 --> 00:15:37,058
He asked for his son.
364
00:15:37,082 --> 00:15:41,362
I think the seizure and delirium
are secondary to hypoxemia
365
00:15:41,386 --> 00:15:44,732
and inflammation from COVID...
Possible early sepsis.
366
00:15:44,756 --> 00:15:45,733
Let's just watch him
367
00:15:45,757 --> 00:15:47,508
and, uh, see how he responds
to treatment.
368
00:15:47,532 --> 00:15:48,641
Okay. Oh, hey,
369
00:15:48,665 --> 00:15:50,137
Shepherd. Didn't realize you were back.
370
00:15:50,161 --> 00:15:51,806
Welcome to... hell.
371
00:15:51,830 --> 00:15:53,508
Just consulting on Koracick.
372
00:15:53,532 --> 00:15:55,476
Oh, right, 'cause he needs
somebody to cover his service.
373
00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:57,712
On him, not... uh, not for him.
374
00:15:57,736 --> 00:15:59,747
Sats dropped, he's got a fever of 103,
375
00:15:59,771 --> 00:16:01,716
and he seized when they brought him in.
376
00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:04,452
Well, I hate everything.
377
00:16:04,476 --> 00:16:07,555
Dr. Cade to the ICU.
Emma Cade to the ICU.
378
00:16:07,579 --> 00:16:09,056
I was wondering if you get used to this,
379
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,526
but I'm guessing that's my answer.
380
00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:12,860
How's the baby?
381
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:15,396
Uh, yeah, uh, well,
he won't let me sleep,
382
00:16:15,420 --> 00:16:18,432
but other than that, um, yeah,
I can't wait to get back to him.
383
00:16:18,456 --> 00:16:20,101
Leo and Allison are with Owen's mom.
384
00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:21,602
I'm just... I miss them like crazy,
385
00:16:21,626 --> 00:16:24,071
but with both parents
treating COVID patients,
386
00:16:24,095 --> 00:16:26,274
it just... It doesn't seem safe.
387
00:16:26,298 --> 00:16:27,742
Uh-huh.
388
00:16:27,766 --> 00:16:31,412
So, um, guess you heard what happened.
389
00:16:31,436 --> 00:16:34,048
Yeah. And I have feelings.
390
00:16:34,072 --> 00:16:35,583
But I've also done
391
00:16:35,607 --> 00:16:38,019
more hurtful and complicated
things in my life
392
00:16:38,043 --> 00:16:40,955
than anyone I've met
outside an NA meeting, so...
393
00:16:40,979 --> 00:16:42,757
Some of them to Owen.
394
00:16:42,781 --> 00:16:44,292
Owen won't say a word to me
395
00:16:44,316 --> 00:16:45,589
that doesn't have to do with the kids,
396
00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:48,296
and everyone is ignoring me
397
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,299
or treating me like
I'm wearing a scarlet letter.
398
00:16:51,323 --> 00:16:53,568
What about Tom?
399
00:16:53,592 --> 00:16:55,790
He's hurt, too.
400
00:16:56,328 --> 00:16:59,307
Well, um, I'll keep checking on him.
401
00:16:59,331 --> 00:17:02,810
And, uh, thank you
for getting Mer into the trial.
402
00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:04,345
Oh, yeah, uh, of course.
403
00:17:09,541 --> 00:17:12,119
Hi, Grey.
404
00:17:12,143 --> 00:17:13,599
It's me.
405
00:17:14,145 --> 00:17:16,424
I'm gonna say it.
406
00:17:16,448 --> 00:17:17,915
I miss you.
407
00:17:27,459 --> 00:17:31,772
When I was a kid, I had big thoughts.
408
00:17:31,796 --> 00:17:33,774
Big feelings.
409
00:17:33,798 --> 00:17:35,715
And I never knew where to put them.
410
00:17:36,635 --> 00:17:41,782
Physically, they ran through
my body like a high-speed train.
411
00:17:41,806 --> 00:17:44,619
And anytime I felt the train coming,
412
00:17:44,643 --> 00:17:47,955
my mom could see it.
413
00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:50,858
So she took me around the corner
to the park
414
00:17:50,882 --> 00:17:55,863
with this strange, twisted tree.
415
00:17:55,887 --> 00:17:58,065
Said it was my tree.
416
00:17:58,089 --> 00:18:01,936
And I could scream at it,
hit it, hold it...
417
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,638
And it would make
the feelings small enough
418
00:18:03,662 --> 00:18:08,175
that they would fit back
inside of my own body again.
419
00:18:08,199 --> 00:18:11,679
So I did.
420
00:18:11,703 --> 00:18:13,714
And it worked.
421
00:18:13,738 --> 00:18:18,331
But now I'm an adult,
and tree-hitting is...
422
00:18:19,344 --> 00:18:21,155
frowned upon.
423
00:18:21,179 --> 00:18:23,169
I can be your tree.
424
00:18:24,482 --> 00:18:27,215
My mother has Alzheimer's.
425
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,564
I never told you
426
00:18:30,588 --> 00:18:34,869
because she's older,
427
00:18:34,893 --> 00:18:38,172
and I didn't want to bring up
any old pain
428
00:18:38,196 --> 00:18:40,741
for you or Richard.
429
00:18:40,765 --> 00:18:43,411
But it would be a lie
430
00:18:43,435 --> 00:18:47,081
to say that it hasn't been hard.
431
00:18:47,105 --> 00:18:49,850
Or painful.
432
00:18:49,874 --> 00:18:54,588
Even as a doctor
who knows about the disease,
433
00:18:54,612 --> 00:18:57,703
I feel like...
434
00:18:58,016 --> 00:18:59,326
I didn't know crap.
435
00:18:59,350 --> 00:19:01,791
...like I don't know anything.
436
00:19:03,588 --> 00:19:05,166
It's difficult to talk about it
437
00:19:05,190 --> 00:19:07,234
with someone who hasn't been there,
438
00:19:07,258 --> 00:19:09,537
been through it.
439
00:19:12,797 --> 00:19:15,509
No one understands that you are
440
00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:19,180
watching your own mother die...
441
00:19:19,204 --> 00:19:21,018
twice.
442
00:19:21,639 --> 00:19:24,605
I'm so sorry, Bailey.
443
00:19:25,677 --> 00:19:28,556
I wish you were awake.
444
00:19:37,589 --> 00:19:39,467
Val's still not awake.
LFTs are up slightly.
445
00:19:39,491 --> 00:19:41,602
Okay. Do another panel in a few hours.
446
00:19:41,626 --> 00:19:43,304
Absolutely, Dr. Wilson.
447
00:19:43,328 --> 00:19:46,941
Okay, has your attitude
always been this good?
448
00:19:46,965 --> 00:19:50,444
My mom used to say every day
above ground is a good day.
449
00:19:50,468 --> 00:19:51,979
Did she get that from "Scarface"?
450
00:19:52,003 --> 00:19:55,149
She did. Still, it's true.
451
00:19:59,611 --> 00:20:01,455
You! You're a doctor, right?
452
00:20:01,479 --> 00:20:03,591
- Yeah.
- Great, follow me.
453
00:20:03,615 --> 00:20:05,159
- We're delivering a baby.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
454
00:20:05,183 --> 00:20:06,637
I'm not an OB, I'm a general surgeon.
455
00:20:06,661 --> 00:20:08,796
I don't care. We have an imminent
delivery, and all our OBs are busy.
456
00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:10,498
Hospital rules say we need a doctor.
457
00:20:10,522 --> 00:20:12,166
I haven't delivered a baby...
458
00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:13,667
You heard the "I don't care"
part, right?
459
00:20:13,691 --> 00:20:15,035
We'll talk you through it.
460
00:20:15,059 --> 00:20:16,437
- The Elmores.
- Okay.
461
00:20:16,461 --> 00:20:19,673
G3P2 came in fully effaced
and dilated at zero station.
462
00:20:19,697 --> 00:20:21,976
Started crowning by the time
we got her settled on the bed.
463
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,646
Ms. Elmore? Hi. I know
that I'm not who you expected,
464
00:20:25,670 --> 00:20:27,181
- but I am here...
- The head is coming now.
465
00:20:27,205 --> 00:20:29,116
Hi. Hi.
466
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,851
Okay. Okay.
467
00:20:32,410 --> 00:20:34,793
Alright. Contraction and big push, okay?
468
00:20:34,794 --> 00:20:35,799
Big push.
469
00:20:39,384 --> 00:20:42,195
Okay. Contraction and push.
470
00:20:43,454 --> 00:20:45,866
The head is out. There...
No cord around the neck.
471
00:20:45,890 --> 00:20:48,469
See? Just like riding a bike.
472
00:20:48,493 --> 00:20:49,670
Alright, uh...
473
00:20:49,694 --> 00:20:52,406
Pull head down, then up,
to deliver the shoulders.
474
00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:54,275
Okay, it's coming.
475
00:20:54,299 --> 00:20:55,676
Coming.
476
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:58,412
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
477
00:20:58,436 --> 00:21:00,981
Ms. Elmore asked that the baby
go directly onto her chest
478
00:21:01,005 --> 00:21:02,349
while still connected.
479
00:21:02,373 --> 00:21:03,954
Okay, clamp.
480
00:21:04,409 --> 00:21:07,554
Okay. Oh, my gosh. Okay.
481
00:21:09,914 --> 00:21:10,958
Okay.
482
00:21:13,451 --> 00:21:15,424
You ready to cut the cord?
483
00:21:16,354 --> 00:21:18,032
Hi. Okay, right here.
484
00:21:18,056 --> 00:21:19,900
Okay, yeah. In between here.
485
00:21:19,924 --> 00:21:21,802
In between, yeah.
486
00:21:21,826 --> 00:21:23,904
Good. Hi, little one!
487
00:21:57,061 --> 00:21:59,607
Just need you to sign
the paperwork, and you can go.
488
00:21:59,631 --> 00:22:02,076
Is it alright if I stay?
489
00:22:07,046 --> 00:22:09,583
Okay. Mommy?
490
00:22:09,607 --> 00:22:10,618
Hey, it's me.
491
00:22:10,642 --> 00:22:13,420
Look, Dad's here, too.
492
00:22:13,444 --> 00:22:15,956
Hi, honey. I'm here.
493
00:22:15,980 --> 00:22:18,592
Wait till you see Miranda's hotel.
494
00:22:18,616 --> 00:22:20,294
I mean, there's room service,
495
00:22:20,318 --> 00:22:23,330
and the view is so much better
than Silver Villas.
496
00:22:23,354 --> 00:22:25,799
You can actually s-see the water.
497
00:22:25,823 --> 00:22:27,768
William?
498
00:22:27,792 --> 00:22:29,803
Is that you, William?
499
00:22:29,827 --> 00:22:32,439
Right here by your side, as always.
500
00:22:32,463 --> 00:22:36,410
I love you. I love you so much.
501
00:22:36,434 --> 00:22:38,579
Sweetheart?
502
00:22:38,603 --> 00:22:42,783
Uh, she drifts in and out, Dad.
503
00:22:42,807 --> 00:22:46,186
In her state,
even breathing's exhausting.
504
00:22:46,210 --> 00:22:48,322
I can't do this.
505
00:22:48,346 --> 00:22:49,823
I know.
506
00:22:49,847 --> 00:22:51,492
It's difficult.
507
00:22:51,516 --> 00:22:52,660
I should be there.
508
00:22:52,684 --> 00:22:54,461
It's too risky, Dad.
509
00:22:54,485 --> 00:22:58,699
She should be in her own bed,
not in some sterile box.
510
00:22:58,723 --> 00:23:04,571
She spent 60 years
taking care of me, and now...
511
00:23:04,595 --> 00:23:08,042
She hardly ever got a cold before this.
512
00:23:08,066 --> 00:23:11,512
Just call me when she wakes up.
513
00:23:13,438 --> 00:23:15,549
Of course, Dad.
514
00:23:23,548 --> 00:23:25,793
Okay.
515
00:23:35,727 --> 00:23:38,806
Mommy.
516
00:23:38,830 --> 00:23:40,708
If you're ready to go,
517
00:23:40,732 --> 00:23:42,176
it's okay.
518
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,211
We're gonna be okay.
519
00:23:47,472 --> 00:23:50,017
We love you.
520
00:23:50,041 --> 00:23:52,553
But we don't want you to suffer.
521
00:23:53,578 --> 00:23:58,892
I'm not r-ready.
522
00:23:58,916 --> 00:24:02,229
If you're tired, I understand.
523
00:24:03,688 --> 00:24:04,732
I love you.
524
00:24:05,757 --> 00:24:07,735
Ready to die?
525
00:24:08,893 --> 00:24:10,170
No.
526
00:24:11,763 --> 00:24:16,043
I-I want to go home.
527
00:24:24,967 --> 00:24:27,311
Hey, you've reached Ben
Warren. Please leave a message.
528
00:24:27,335 --> 00:24:30,314
Yeah, I... Ben? Um, it's my mom.
529
00:24:30,338 --> 00:24:33,417
I think she was just lucid with me,
530
00:24:33,441 --> 00:24:36,487
and she said some things
that I don't understand,
531
00:24:36,511 --> 00:24:38,732
and now I-I don't know what do,
532
00:24:38,756 --> 00:24:40,391
and I need someone
to tell me what to do.
533
00:24:40,415 --> 00:24:44,461
Just, uh, call me as soon as you can.
534
00:24:44,485 --> 00:24:45,629
Uh, I love you.
535
00:24:50,191 --> 00:24:51,535
Hey.
536
00:24:51,559 --> 00:24:54,094
I saw you leave. I wanted to check.
537
00:24:54,696 --> 00:24:57,508
She said she's not ready to go.
538
00:24:57,532 --> 00:24:59,510
For a split second,
539
00:24:59,534 --> 00:25:03,047
my heart was filled up with so much joy.
540
00:25:03,071 --> 00:25:05,249
But now I'm just mad.
541
00:25:05,273 --> 00:25:09,453
Mad because no one told me she was sick,
542
00:25:09,477 --> 00:25:15,926
mad because she probably
has no idea what's happening.
543
00:25:15,950 --> 00:25:20,164
You know, if I'm being totally honest,
544
00:25:20,188 --> 00:25:22,666
I don't want her to suffer
from this Alzheimer's anymore.
545
00:25:22,690 --> 00:25:25,736
You know, it's a horrific disease,
546
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,739
and I want her to be free.
547
00:25:28,763 --> 00:25:30,908
But I don't want COVID to be the reason.
548
00:25:30,932 --> 00:25:35,546
I d... I don't want her to be just
another Black woman statistic
549
00:25:35,570 --> 00:25:37,448
in this pandemic count.
550
00:25:37,472 --> 00:25:39,583
Yeah, I hear that.
551
00:25:39,607 --> 00:25:41,808
100%.
552
00:25:44,545 --> 00:25:46,290
None of this is easy.
553
00:25:46,314 --> 00:25:49,560
All of it is confusing and...
554
00:25:49,584 --> 00:25:52,196
hard and awful.
555
00:25:52,220 --> 00:25:56,400
But even with Alzheimer's,
she's been healthy.
556
00:25:56,424 --> 00:25:59,403
And now I'm watching her struggle
557
00:25:59,427 --> 00:26:04,642
to do the most basic
of human reflexes... breathing.
558
00:26:04,666 --> 00:26:07,841
And if she's saying
she's not ready to go...
559
00:26:09,604 --> 00:26:12,383
I don't know what to think.
560
00:26:12,407 --> 00:26:14,184
I felt so sure
561
00:26:14,208 --> 00:26:16,960
that she wouldn't want to live
like she's been living,
562
00:26:16,995 --> 00:26:19,918
but maybe I'm wrong, yeah?
563
00:26:19,942 --> 00:26:25,062
Maybe she's happy in the world
her mind takes her to.
564
00:26:25,086 --> 00:26:27,665
Now I'm questioning every choice I made.
565
00:26:27,689 --> 00:26:29,233
I mean, s-should I be doing more?
566
00:26:29,257 --> 00:26:32,703
Should I move her to the ICU?
Intubate her?
567
00:26:32,727 --> 00:26:34,705
Am I just thinking about how I feel
568
00:26:34,729 --> 00:26:38,706
instead of what's going on
with her... inside of her mind?
569
00:26:39,734 --> 00:26:42,646
- Do you want my opinion?
- Please.
570
00:26:42,670 --> 00:26:46,317
I've been the one who does everything,
571
00:26:46,341 --> 00:26:52,189
who fights tooth and nail
against death at all costs.
572
00:26:52,213 --> 00:26:55,359
But truthfully, with my mom,
573
00:26:55,383 --> 00:26:58,017
it didn't give me
more peace of mind in the end.
574
00:26:59,387 --> 00:27:01,687
It might have done the opposite.
575
00:27:02,256 --> 00:27:07,871
I didn't think so at the time,
but it was the easier choice.
576
00:27:07,895 --> 00:27:10,274
To fall back on acting like a surgeon
577
00:27:10,298 --> 00:27:12,499
and searching for all the answers.
578
00:27:15,670 --> 00:27:20,584
Bailey, you've given your mom so much.
579
00:27:20,608 --> 00:27:22,720
She's gotten to raise you
580
00:27:22,744 --> 00:27:25,656
and watch you turn into
this incredible surgeon
581
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,658
and chief of a hospital.
582
00:27:27,682 --> 00:27:29,827
She watched you fall in love.
583
00:27:29,851 --> 00:27:32,396
- Twice.
- Twice!
584
00:27:32,420 --> 00:27:35,455
And raise a family.
585
00:27:38,192 --> 00:27:42,973
Of course you're never going
to feel ready to say goodbye,
586
00:27:42,997 --> 00:27:44,813
but...
587
00:27:45,898 --> 00:27:48,345
she's had an amazing life.
588
00:27:48,369 --> 00:27:53,384
I brought my parents
to Seattle kicking and fighting.
589
00:27:53,408 --> 00:27:55,919
I promised them, if they moved here,
590
00:27:55,943 --> 00:27:58,122
it was the right thing to do
591
00:27:58,146 --> 00:28:00,762
so they could be closer
to their only daughter.
592
00:28:00,808 --> 00:28:04,094
I told them I knew best.
Just listen to me.
593
00:28:04,118 --> 00:28:07,631
And if they hadn't done that,
they would still be at home.
594
00:28:07,655 --> 00:28:08,699
Isolated.
595
00:28:08,723 --> 00:28:10,701
And Mom wouldn't be dying. Not yet.
596
00:28:10,725 --> 00:28:11,769
You don't know that.
597
00:28:11,793 --> 00:28:14,705
She was exposed at the place
that I set up for them.
598
00:28:14,729 --> 00:28:20,577
The... The facility let someone
move in from New York,
599
00:28:20,601 --> 00:28:22,613
a retired surgeon.
600
00:28:22,637 --> 00:28:25,983
He became symptomatic
the day after his arrival.
601
00:28:26,007 --> 00:28:29,787
After they said they had
shut down to all outsiders,
602
00:28:29,811 --> 00:28:31,321
including family.
603
00:28:31,345 --> 00:28:33,490
How in the hell could you have
known that was going to happen?
604
00:28:33,514 --> 00:28:37,795
How could you have known
any of this was going to happen?
605
00:28:37,819 --> 00:28:40,631
Bailey, you cannot
feel guilty about this.
606
00:28:46,094 --> 00:28:48,739
My mom, she left me five voicemails
607
00:28:48,763 --> 00:28:50,474
for my birthday last year.
608
00:28:50,498 --> 00:28:52,776
She kept calling
609
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,525
because she forgot that she had already
610
00:28:54,549 --> 00:28:56,747
wished me happy birthday.
611
00:28:56,771 --> 00:29:00,751
- There they are.
- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
612
00:29:00,775 --> 00:29:02,180
I never deleted them
613
00:29:02,216 --> 00:29:05,055
because I guess I realized
614
00:29:05,079 --> 00:29:07,991
that it might be the last time
she remembered at all.
615
00:29:10,885 --> 00:29:14,765
She raised me to be a good little girl.
616
00:29:14,789 --> 00:29:18,836
And even when I defied her...
617
00:29:18,860 --> 00:29:22,072
I was never disrespectful.
618
00:29:22,096 --> 00:29:26,610
And I tried to be good at everything.
619
00:29:26,634 --> 00:29:29,680
A good student, a good mother.
620
00:29:29,704 --> 00:29:33,350
Wife, doctor, chief.
621
00:29:33,374 --> 00:29:37,621
And now she just needs me
to be a good daughter,
622
00:29:37,645 --> 00:29:39,456
and I'm not sure how to do that,
623
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,992
even though it's what I've been
the longest.
624
00:29:42,016 --> 00:29:45,329
You've chosen palliative care.
625
00:29:45,353 --> 00:29:48,332
You're giving her the best care possible
626
00:29:48,356 --> 00:29:51,969
while keeping her
as comfortable as possible.
627
00:29:51,993 --> 00:29:53,537
That is good.
628
00:29:53,561 --> 00:29:57,841
And it is kind and respectful
629
00:29:57,865 --> 00:29:59,010
and brave.
630
00:30:01,669 --> 00:30:04,715
I wish I could've given my mom
a more dignified death.
631
00:30:07,017 --> 00:30:11,155
But I pushed so hard.
632
00:30:15,316 --> 00:30:17,728
You know, it's her own
damn fault, really.
633
00:30:19,177 --> 00:30:21,999
My whole life, she told me
to push through.
634
00:30:24,025 --> 00:30:27,037
Be strong. Fight the good fight.
635
00:30:27,061 --> 00:30:29,740
My mom was kind of the opposite.
636
00:30:29,764 --> 00:30:32,876
Like, overprotective, like, hovering.
637
00:30:32,900 --> 00:30:35,579
There was a reception
638
00:30:35,603 --> 00:30:38,849
sponsored by
the Daughters of the Revolution.
639
00:30:38,873 --> 00:30:41,151
They had given me a scholarship.
640
00:30:42,343 --> 00:30:45,556
So my mom said
I should take the scholarship
641
00:30:45,580 --> 00:30:47,724
but not go to the reception.
642
00:30:47,748 --> 00:30:49,826
But I didn't want to give them
that satisfaction.
643
00:30:49,850 --> 00:30:52,296
No, I wanted them to see
644
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,831
what "Miranda Bailey"
looked like, right?
645
00:30:54,855 --> 00:30:58,902
So I went with my dad.
646
00:31:00,928 --> 00:31:03,974
We had a good laugh
647
00:31:03,998 --> 00:31:08,551
at those very proper ladies.
648
00:31:08,580 --> 00:31:10,814
I think you mean "white" ladies.
649
00:31:10,838 --> 00:31:12,716
- Uh...
- Yeah.
650
00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:16,086
Watching them try to hide their horror
651
00:31:16,110 --> 00:31:19,723
when they saw who they had
given their scholarship to,
652
00:31:19,747 --> 00:31:22,467
yeah, that was classic.
653
00:31:22,529 --> 00:31:24,061
Oh, and guidance counselors, oh, my God.
654
00:31:24,085 --> 00:31:26,463
Oh, yeah, yeah, always trying to suggest
655
00:31:26,487 --> 00:31:28,932
a school where we might
feel "more comfortable."
656
00:31:28,956 --> 00:31:31,468
"Oh, Wellesley.
657
00:31:31,492 --> 00:31:33,971
That's a fine school, Miranda.
658
00:31:33,995 --> 00:31:37,808
But, um, I think state school
is more your speed."
659
00:31:37,832 --> 00:31:39,676
- Mm-hmm.
- Like I don't know my speed.
660
00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:41,912
- Please.
- Try harder and do better
661
00:31:41,936 --> 00:31:43,668
just to be considered average.
662
00:31:43,710 --> 00:31:45,549
Or to be considered at all.
663
00:31:45,573 --> 00:31:49,486
But how they underestimate
our greatness.
664
00:31:49,510 --> 00:31:52,350
- Graduated magna cum laude...
- Mm-hmm.
665
00:31:52,374 --> 00:31:56,226
...with my biology degree, by the way.
666
00:31:56,250 --> 00:32:00,964
And you better bet my mom cut
out the graduation announcement
667
00:32:00,988 --> 00:32:04,001
from Wellesley and mailed it
to my guidance counselor.
668
00:32:12,166 --> 00:32:14,845
I don't know how I'm gonna do this.
669
00:32:29,277 --> 00:32:30,410
I can come back.
670
00:32:30,435 --> 00:32:33,239
No. No, no, no. Uh, no,
I just finished up his EEG.
671
00:32:33,263 --> 00:32:34,941
I wanted to, um, make sure
672
00:32:34,965 --> 00:32:36,162
that the seizure was a one-and-done,
673
00:32:36,220 --> 00:32:40,113
before I head home,
take 10 scalding hot showers,
674
00:32:40,137 --> 00:32:41,915
and hug up on everybody.
675
00:32:41,939 --> 00:32:46,119
Um, Maggie says
that his numbers are holding.
676
00:32:46,143 --> 00:32:49,289
Good. Thanks.
677
00:32:58,989 --> 00:33:00,466
I don't know if you were ignoring me
678
00:33:00,490 --> 00:33:01,968
when I came by the house
679
00:33:01,992 --> 00:33:03,937
or... or if you were
just too sick to answer,
680
00:33:03,961 --> 00:33:06,139
but I-I'm... I'm gonna go with too sick
681
00:33:06,163 --> 00:33:09,642
'cause then... then maybe
there's a-a ray of hope for us,
682
00:33:09,666 --> 00:33:11,978
which I could really use right now,
683
00:33:12,002 --> 00:33:13,809
and I know you could.
684
00:33:15,505 --> 00:33:17,016
You know, I'm... I'm gonna stop asking.
685
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:18,151
I'm just gonna decide.
686
00:33:18,175 --> 00:33:22,055
I-I'm deciding that
we mean enough to each other
687
00:33:22,079 --> 00:33:25,070
that, even though I hurt you and I-I...
688
00:33:26,350 --> 00:33:28,528
I hurt you
more than I could ever imagine,
689
00:33:28,552 --> 00:33:30,575
that a repair could be made, that...
690
00:33:33,830 --> 00:33:36,876
maybe you could remember
691
00:33:36,901 --> 00:33:38,612
some of the things
that you don't hate about me
692
00:33:38,637 --> 00:33:41,670
and we... we could salvage
our friendship because...
693
00:33:43,667 --> 00:33:45,511
I don't know how we're going
to get through this pandemic,
694
00:33:45,535 --> 00:33:47,380
but I do know... I do know
695
00:33:47,404 --> 00:33:49,315
that we're not going
to get through it alone.
696
00:33:49,339 --> 00:33:52,151
So if you want
to have nothing to do with me,
697
00:33:52,175 --> 00:33:54,020
then you are just going
to have to get all better
698
00:33:54,044 --> 00:33:55,154
and tell me yourself,
699
00:33:55,178 --> 00:33:57,023
because until I hear you say the words,
700
00:33:57,047 --> 00:33:58,812
you're not gonna get rid of me.
701
00:34:03,186 --> 00:34:05,398
Oh, my God. Tom. Tom?
702
00:34:05,422 --> 00:34:07,112
Tom, can you hear me?
703
00:34:07,630 --> 00:34:09,975
It's me. It's... It's Teddy.
704
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,012
You were wrong.
705
00:34:12,037 --> 00:34:13,232
Wrong about what?
706
00:34:14,631 --> 00:34:17,176
When you came to my house.
707
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:18,511
I was ignoring you.
708
00:34:21,271 --> 00:34:25,618
Did you hear everything II just said?
709
00:34:27,911 --> 00:34:29,756
I hate you.
710
00:34:31,114 --> 00:34:33,226
Well, we both know that's not true.
711
00:34:38,021 --> 00:34:39,603
Hey.
712
00:34:41,425 --> 00:34:43,836
What would you say to a sponge bath?
713
00:34:44,961 --> 00:34:47,273
Well, but, you know, as friends.
714
00:34:47,297 --> 00:34:49,509
Friendly sponge bath.
715
00:35:17,561 --> 00:35:19,072
Hey.
716
00:35:19,096 --> 00:35:20,840
I rounded on all of Bailey's patients.
717
00:35:20,864 --> 00:35:24,077
DeLuca said he'll keep an eye on
them for the rest of the night.
718
00:35:24,101 --> 00:35:25,278
Yeah, thank you.
719
00:35:25,302 --> 00:35:28,147
Yeah, I hesitate to ask,
but how's her mom doing?
720
00:35:28,171 --> 00:35:30,216
They don't expect her to last the night.
721
00:35:34,077 --> 00:35:35,088
That's...
722
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:39,692
You realize half of our COVID
patients are Black and brown?
723
00:35:39,716 --> 00:35:40,927
I know.
724
00:35:40,951 --> 00:35:42,462
In a city that's 7% Black?
725
00:35:42,486 --> 00:35:44,997
Like, how does that even compute?
726
00:35:45,021 --> 00:35:46,833
It doesn't.
727
00:35:46,857 --> 00:35:49,402
If I hear one more person blame
it on pre-existing conditions
728
00:35:49,426 --> 00:35:52,538
as if the conditions aren't
manmade to begin with...
729
00:35:52,562 --> 00:35:55,141
Like we're not pushed into the
front line of all of our jobs
730
00:35:55,165 --> 00:35:57,677
and forced to live
in overcrowded situations,
731
00:35:57,701 --> 00:35:59,946
surrounded by environmental hazards.
732
00:35:59,970 --> 00:36:01,180
Yeah, people want
733
00:36:01,204 --> 00:36:04,083
to make everything bad
that happens your own fault.
734
00:36:04,107 --> 00:36:05,685
Yeah, when systemic racism is the root
735
00:36:05,709 --> 00:36:07,687
of the whole damn thing.
Forget the pre-,
736
00:36:07,711 --> 00:36:09,288
it's the existing condition.
737
00:36:09,312 --> 00:36:11,057
Existing while Black.
738
00:36:16,987 --> 00:36:19,198
You know, Richard, we both know
my mom is stubborn.
739
00:36:21,191 --> 00:36:22,535
And everything she's been
through, I feel like
740
00:36:22,559 --> 00:36:25,004
she thinks she's invincible now,
and she's not.
741
00:36:26,997 --> 00:36:29,129
We can't lose her, Richard.
742
00:36:30,066 --> 00:36:32,211
The world can't lose her, you know?
743
00:36:32,235 --> 00:36:33,967
It's been handled.
744
00:36:34,838 --> 00:36:36,315
Oh, you talked to her?
745
00:36:36,339 --> 00:36:37,884
Oh, good.
746
00:36:37,908 --> 00:36:39,085
What'd you say?
747
00:36:39,109 --> 00:36:42,488
I think it's best kept between us.
748
00:36:42,512 --> 00:36:44,728
Why are you being weird about it?
749
00:36:45,515 --> 00:36:47,627
'Cause it's about sex, isn't it?
750
00:36:47,651 --> 00:36:50,062
- It is.
- Thanks. Right. Good night.
751
00:36:55,899 --> 00:36:59,078
Oh, my God. That smells so good.
752
00:36:59,103 --> 00:37:00,547
We're sharing, right?
753
00:37:00,572 --> 00:37:03,017
Pod together, eat together?
Please say yes.
754
00:37:03,042 --> 00:37:05,587
I delivered a baby today.
755
00:37:05,735 --> 00:37:06,779
- Is that a yes?
- Yes!
756
00:37:06,803 --> 00:37:08,247
- Oh.
- Yes, yes.
757
00:37:08,271 --> 00:37:09,715
Wait, weren't we together all day?
758
00:37:09,739 --> 00:37:12,485
What do you mean
you delivered a secret baby?
759
00:37:12,509 --> 00:37:14,887
Happened very quick.
I went to check on Luna,
760
00:37:14,911 --> 00:37:17,223
and this nurse said that there
was an imminent delivery,
761
00:37:17,247 --> 00:37:22,094
and the next second,
I was catching a baby.
762
00:37:22,118 --> 00:37:26,791
I was literally the first person
in the universe to hold him.
763
00:37:26,815 --> 00:37:28,534
And then I handed him to his parents,
764
00:37:28,558 --> 00:37:31,274
and their faces were just...
765
00:37:32,095 --> 00:37:33,573
No wonder Val's so depressed.
766
00:37:33,597 --> 00:37:36,409
It's the happiest thing I've ever seen.
767
00:37:36,433 --> 00:37:41,280
It was just so pure and simple
and perfect.
768
00:37:41,304 --> 00:37:42,882
I was buzzing.
769
00:37:42,906 --> 00:37:44,617
But it was a total random fluke,
770
00:37:44,641 --> 00:37:47,520
and tomorrow, I'll be back
to the same depressing crap.
771
00:37:47,544 --> 00:37:50,710
I mean, you did save Val's life today.
772
00:37:51,348 --> 00:37:52,892
You think that's why Carina DeLuca
773
00:37:52,916 --> 00:37:54,293
is always in such a good mood?
774
00:37:54,317 --> 00:37:56,395
She's just, you know,
handing out babies,
775
00:37:56,419 --> 00:37:58,865
and it shoots her serotonin
level through the roof.
776
00:37:58,889 --> 00:38:02,925
Well, yeah, but doesn't she also
have, like, an orgasm hobby?
777
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:05,504
What if I changed?
778
00:38:05,629 --> 00:38:07,073
Changed what?
779
00:38:07,097 --> 00:38:08,808
Careers. Programs.
780
00:38:08,832 --> 00:38:11,310
Is that insane?
781
00:38:11,334 --> 00:38:13,246
Khan did it, and what he did
782
00:38:13,270 --> 00:38:16,148
is so much harder
than switching specialties.
783
00:38:16,172 --> 00:38:18,751
He started over with nothing.
784
00:38:18,775 --> 00:38:21,287
And I know... I know
I've put years into surgery,
785
00:38:21,311 --> 00:38:24,223
but if it's not bringing me any joy,
786
00:38:24,247 --> 00:38:28,481
then wouldn't it be insane
to not change?
787
00:38:28,532 --> 00:38:32,665
I think you eat and then sleep
before you make any major li...
788
00:38:32,689 --> 00:38:34,796
Oh, my God. I sound like my mother.
789
00:38:35,759 --> 00:38:38,437
I want to be happy.
790
00:38:38,461 --> 00:38:40,139
Everyone's dying.
791
00:38:40,163 --> 00:38:41,678
Meredith's...
792
00:38:42,766 --> 00:38:45,711
Tomorrow is not promised.
793
00:38:45,735 --> 00:38:47,346
Not in marriage.
794
00:38:47,370 --> 00:38:49,348
Not in life.
795
00:38:49,372 --> 00:38:50,937
I want to be happy.
796
00:38:57,013 --> 00:38:58,820
She's decompensating.
797
00:39:00,396 --> 00:39:01,990
You should go in.
798
00:39:04,114 --> 00:39:06,244
She barely knows who I am.
799
00:39:07,236 --> 00:39:09,534
And I want to be there for her.
800
00:39:09,559 --> 00:39:13,205
I-I want her husband
to be there for her.
801
00:39:13,229 --> 00:39:18,131
She deserves to be surrounded
by love and family.
802
00:39:19,369 --> 00:39:21,480
But Dad's in quarantine.
803
00:39:21,504 --> 00:39:25,318
He's high-risk, and I don't
want him to expose anyone.
804
00:39:25,342 --> 00:39:27,687
I don't want him to be exposed.
805
00:39:27,711 --> 00:39:31,123
I know this is not what
you imagined for your mother.
806
00:39:31,147 --> 00:39:33,396
And I'm sorry about that.
807
00:39:34,517 --> 00:39:38,364
But she needs you now.
808
00:39:38,388 --> 00:39:39,861
It's time.
809
00:39:40,993 --> 00:39:42,268
And if you don't go in,
810
00:39:42,292 --> 00:39:45,371
I promise
you will never forgive yourself.
811
00:39:47,697 --> 00:39:50,409
I'm scared.
3
00:39:50,433 --> 00:39:52,178
♪ I've got sunshine ♪
4
00:39:52,202 --> 00:39:54,580
I know.
5
00:39:54,604 --> 00:39:56,68
59512
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