Original subtitles

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC THEME)

INTERVIEWER: This is the Dom And Adrian 2020 documentary,

take one.

And action!

ADRIAN, V/O: The year is 2020,

and while everyone we know is getting married,

buying houses and having kids,

my best friend Dom and I

are actually doing something with our lives.

And we have a documentary crew following our rise to fame

as superstar USBJs.

DOM, V/O: We were killing it until we'd signed on

to play a drought-relief bush doof

when the bushfires hit.

(PEOPLE SCREAM)

ADRIAN, V/O: Then we were booked to play

a bushfire fundraiser when the floods came through.

(MAN SCREAMS)

DOM, V/O: And then we were gonna headline

a flood relief dance party

when the hailstorms fell.

(SCREAMING)

Oh, get fucked!

And now all that dogshit's out of the way,

we have booked our best gig yet -

a panel-beating fundraiser at the North Bondi Bowling Club.

Time to teach these basic Bondi driveway-hosing,

lotto ticket-buying dickheads how to fucking party again.

What the fuck is COVID-19?

(THEME MUSIC)

TV: ..97 additional cases of COVID-19...

- Heavy. - Fucking hell.

This is so surreal, Dom!

You do realise this is going to wipe out

thousands and thousands of our future gigs?

Are you seriously worried about gigs right now?

Do you not understand the severity of this?

This will be the death of fashion labels

and music festivals worldwide.

Fuck.

This is all about the mental battle.

We've just got to stay positive.

I am not moving in to any of my dad's places, OK?

Brah, I will never leave Bondi.

I am Dom from Bondi,

my identity is tethered to this postcode.

I've lived in Rose Bay once.

That's gross.

I'll never go through that again.

Yeah, this is gonna be tough,

but you know what else is tough? We are.

When you graduated from Cranbrook

with nothing but a trust fund

and two apartments in Little Bay

that your dad bought off the plan, did you give up?

No.

When you turned 30 and he cancelled your credit cards,

did you cry about it?

Yeah, but...

..only for like a fortnight.

And where is your dickhead of a dad now?

He's running Macquarie Bank.

Exactly! Meanwhile you went on

to start four failed fashion labels,

promote seven nightclubs, collect 175 lanyards

and pour the best goddamn three-quarter almond latte

I've ever had in my life.

- Goddamn, Dom, you're right! - Yeah, I'm right.

All we need to do is pivot, create and evolve.

We're stuck inside, but so is everybody else.

And so we just thought we'd take advantage of that.

So we're going to live stream our USBJ sets

and take donations.

But a percentage of profits go to charity.

Oh, what charity?

domandadrian.org

And what percentage of profits?

Roughly give or take, about, um...

- ..100%. ADRIAN: Yeah, about that.

But it's a really good cause.

Those profits go into helping struggling Bondi locals

pay their rent to stay in Bondi.

(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC)

Hey, Becky! Hey, Angus!

Hey, Dad, can you fuck off?

It's bad enough that you came to all my dance recitals.

I don't want your presence at my live-streamed Insta gigs,

thank you very much, and bye!

- Nose beers. - (SNIFFS) Woo!

Hey, guys, what did you think of the gig?

WOMAN 1: Yeah, fun. MAN 1: Well done, guys.

WOMAN 2: Well done. MAN 2: Good stuff.

Yeah, cool.

Are you guys blowing out or what?

We sold our Bondi place and bought in Thirroul,

but it's a bit stressful

with bridging finance and stuff.

- Oh, yeah. - Sounds basic.

We're at our investment property in Terrigal,

we're home-schooling the kids...

- Sounds brilliant. - ..working from home.

MAN: We've had to put the wedding back,

a bit nervous about having...

Oh, my God.

All that stability must be so fucking oppressive.

Stoked we're not them. That'd suck.

Yeah.

Dom, are we... Are we getting too old for this?

What? No, man.

No, no. Fuck, man.

My dad studied, like, ten years at medical school

to become a doctor, and for what?

You know?

My whole life he's been saying, "Have a back-up plan,

get some investments, get a real job."

And none of that shit matters now, you know.

This is like...

..ground zero.

Oi, how are we gonna pay rent?

Our sunglasses brand, Throwing Shades.

Irrelevant.

Our beach towel brand, Dry Hard.

Irrelevant.

Our Thai fusion food truck, Thai Hard.

Irrelevant.

Our Thai Aussie fusion food truck,

Thai-me Kangaroo Down Sport.

Super irrelevant. Rolf Harris is a pedo. Next.

Our perpetually offended youth blog, triggrd.com.

Fuck. Irrelevant.

Really?

People are still going to want content

now more so than ever.

Nobody's got the time and energy

to be offended by identity politics

when they're dealing with an actual fucking problem

like a global pandemic.

Dom, I fear you are grossly underestimating

the collective hatred for straight white males.

(DOORBELL DINGS)

Thanks for coming down here, Debbie.

What is it that couldn't be handled with a phone call?

DOM, V/O: Fucking real estate agents.

Name another industry where the client must eat the ass

of the service provider?

Seriously, Debbie's been jacking our rent up

by $20 a month since 2004

and now the market's finally collapsed

so it is her who must eat our asses.

- We want a rent freeze. - Please.

The owner won't do that.

But they got the mortgage freeze, so...

They don't have a mortgage.

Well, then, they can pass the savings down to tenants.

They live off the rent,

and the rent of their many other properties

so if you're struggling with paying the lease,

then you should just access your own super.

Access my...

Debbie, I'm a fucking freelancer,

I've never had a steady job, never paid a cent of super,

and quite frankly never expected to live past 33

so who's got the power now?

Still me.

How come?

Because I'm a fucking real estate agent.

- Sorry, Debbie. - Sorry, Debbie.

So find the money.

(SIGHS) Tax debt.

Parking fines.

Mobile upgrade.

6G is here!

Being a grown-up sucks, man. It's just endless admin!

No-one prepares you for this shit!

Don't worry, Dom. It's just a warning. She can't evict us.

(RINGTONE)

Hey, um, Dad.

You know how you always used to tell me

I should get a real job and some mortgages,

and investments and shit?

DAD: So you got a real job?

No, no. I just don't suppose you wanna take back

any of that shitty life advice

now that capitalism is on the verge of collapse?

You need money. How much this time?

ADRIAN: No, I don't.

I am doing just f-

Where are you?

I know you're not at home

because there's not a single angle

that isn't a spectacular 360-degree view of the Harbour.

I'm fine. Don't worry about me.

Are you at the Palm Beach house?

No. Listen.

Are you at the other, other house?

No. Adrian...

- Are you at the alpaca farm? - I'm in a bunker, Adrian.

What? In a bunker?

- With who? - Colleagues, friends.

Look, I've had to pull a few strings,

but there's a spot here for you.

You don't have to go through this on your own.

No, I'm not on my own. I'm with Dom.

He can't come.

Cool, good chat. See you, Dad!

OK, look, I'll transfer some money.

Dad, I'm 33 years old.

I do not need your money, thank you very much.

DAD: You're 37.

OK, bye.

Fucking hell.

Yeah, we have no work, we have no money,

and we have no idea how to survive.

But...

You know, in and amongst all of this,

at least we have...

- ..each other. - ..the internet.

Like, imagine going through the Spanish flu

or the Black Plague or whatever with no internet,

like that would have been hectic.

(PLAYS GUITAR TUNE)

Hey, Dom,

I was thinking to help people get through this

maybe we could create some lockdown content together.

Oh, cool. Content.

OK, yeah, here's an idea for some content.

(SINGS)♪ I'd rather kill myself

♪ Than create lockdown content. ♪

Great, but don't you think it's important

that artists share their stories?

No-one gives a shit about artists,

especially not in the middle of a global pandemic.

Artists are the white blood cells of our culture, Dom.

Yeah, they used to be.

Right now they're scared celebrities posting shit

they normally wouldn't 'cause they're afraid

of being irrelevant. I get it, man.

Oh, my God, Dom. You're such a Muggle.

Don't you join Ricky fucking Gervais in crucifying artists

for being nice and trying to help.

Do you not realise the irony of a celebrity using his platform

to give celebrities advice on how not to use their platform

to give advice?

Those rich cunts have no idea what hardship is.

OK, Dom, celebrities are just trying to help!

Help who, man? Certainly not their PR people and stylists

who put decades into making them look like

magical fucking unicorns

only to hold iPhones inches from their face

and show us that they too have nose hairs

and eye bags and blemishes.

The entertainment industry will never come back from this.

You know, I'd actually rather be on a fucking respirator

than create pathetic, desperate, opportunistic

lockdown content!

(DOOR SLAMS)

Um, I don't want to, like, step on any toes or anything,

but have you ever thought about making content on your own?

I had an idea to start my own YouTube channel

where I share simple, organic, earthy recipes

because fuck Dom, I'll show that beardy cunt what's up.

Jesus Christ, that was a bit fucking heavy.

I'm right here.

Welcome to the first episode of Cooked With Aids.

A good cake is like a good friendship.

It may not look exactly like what you had in your head,

but it's all about the ingredients.

So um, let's go!

OK...

(LAUGHS) That is absolutely perfect.

Oh, fuck my brain!

I just stepped in the fucking cake!

OK, well,

sometimes things don't really go as planned.

But if you've put in the ground work,

and laid a solid base,

the flavour will still be there.

And the cake will sate

what you crave.

(GAGS)

(GAGS)

Fuck work!

Look, why be busy for busy's sake?

You know, I'm going to use this opportunity to earth myself,

to take a step back,

become more grounded.

Mm. And I see you've stopped wearing shoes.

Oh, these old things?

Yeah. Well, besides grounding me,

my feet are actually my best feature.

And I installed a rainwater tank.

You know, they talk a lot about toxic masculinity,

and, you know, the act of hunting water from the sky

without consent.

It's masculine, but it's alkaline.

It's like an alkaline masculinity.

And I installed a veggie patch.

Look, farming's easy.

Anyone can do it. Exhibit Adrian.

Why would you start a farm in somewhere like Dubbo

or Tamworth that gets no rain?

Why wouldn't you set up a farm

in a place that gets heaps of rain

and has ideal weather?

I don't mean to tell farmers how to suck eggs

but like, there is a way to suck an egg.

This is farming, OK?

Bang!

It's not fucking rocket science, you know what I mean?

I know we millennials, we get like a bad rap

for being wishy-washy or whatever...

Yeah, but it's true, Dom!

Us millennials are so obsessed by, like, wealth and success

and relevancy and legacy,

it's just... it's all fucking bullshit!

But that's not bullshit, those are things you actually need

to survive within this world.

Probably not worth arguing about anyway

'cause technically you guys aren't really millennials,

you're more, like, gen Xers.

You don't know how old I am, Gerry.

GERRY: Well, it says on your Facebook profile.

Maybe I lied.

I don't want the Chinese people getting our data.

Right. Well, what's more likely?

You lied on your Facebook or your Tinder?

Wait, you've seen my Tinder and you didn't swipe right?

You must be strong of will, Gerry.

And you are too old for Tinder.

You know, if you cut back on those ciggies,

beer and processed meats,

it'd probably help get rid of your beard dandruff.

It's not dandruff, it's dried egg.

(DOORBELL DINGS)

Um, hello?

Delivery for Adrian Archer

from The Right Worshipful Master Mason,

Brother of 13 Bloodlines, Steward and Swordbearer,

Angus Archer - Grand Director of Ceremonies.

Yeah.

Er, do you want me to sign for this or...?

OK.

(EERIE MUSIC)

(SPOOKY VOICE ECHOES)

(MUSIC STOPS)

What's your choice of apocalypse vehicle gonna be?

Um, like... like a light plane. Like a Cessna vibe...

Dead. You'll get shot out of the sky immediately.

(SIGHS) What about a boat?

Nice idea, Gerry.

Yeah, I suppose you could go down to Rose Bay wharf,

and cave some banker's head in with a lug wrench.

You'd probably get out of Sydney Harbour

but what happens when the first storm hits?

- Dead. - I wasn't...

Alright, here it is - scooter.

Quiet, light, fuel-efficient.

20 litres will get you to Cairns and back.

The only negative about a scooter

is that it's very much like a solo thing

and I would have figured that we would have tackled

the apocalypse together, that's all.

End of the world, brah, it's every man for himself.

It doesn't have to be.

I always thought that garages

were a place where depressed dads

could come and imagine how good life would be

if they didn't have a family,

and like, instead of taking a 45-minute shit,

they can come to a garage for 3.5 hours.

Since I've been tinkering in a garage myself,

I'm developing real-world skills.

And I'm creating something meaningful.

Fuck it!

Something real.

So while you've been wasting all day in the garage,

the Dominator's had a few light-bulb moments.

Introducing the world's first cryptocurrency

for drug dealers - Litcoin.

ADRIAN: Meaningless.

Introducing a high-testosterone, living beverage

fermented in a mushroom of my own cum -

Cumbucha.

Yuck.

An ethical, sustainable, roof-farmed,

drinkable water brand called Bondi Rain.

Who's going to pay for something

that they can get for free from a tap?

Oh, yeah, that's full of fluoride,

blocking their third eyes,

calcifying their pineal glands.

Look, Dom has been known

to fall for the occasional conspiracy theory.

If 5G causes COVID,

then my phone causes COVID.

But my phone is always on my person,

so how can I escape the COVID?

Fuck, Dom, 5G is just another G.

It's like 3G or 4G, it's harmless.

Oh, right. Cool, yeah.

If it's so harmless, then why can my phone do this?

(ELECTRICAL BUZZ)

(ELECTRICAL BUZZ)

These are all normal phone things, Dom.

Heaps normal.

(CRASH)

ADRIAN: If you think 2020's been hard for you,

spare a thought for conspiracy theorists.

(CLATTER)

Every single conspiracy that every single neckbeard

feared was going to happen is currently happening.

It's all part of the plandemic.

It's Bill Gates, it's George Soros,

it's the 5G, it's the towers.

It's mass surveillance!

You know, there's a new camera popping up every five minutes.

Have you seen the new camera up at Bondi?

There's a new camera at the Grassy Knoll,

there's one down at Clovelly.

There's... I mean, there's a camera right there.

- Right there. - Where?

Are you fucking serious, Dom?

That's the documentary camera.

2020 is like the Voltron of conspiracy theories,

like one giant mega bot of conspiracies.

Yeah, cool. Can you stop saying 'theories',

'cause they're not conspiracy theories,

they're conspiracy facts.

Oh, my God.

Come on, man, you're smarter than that.

That's just what they want you to think.

Who are 'they', Dom?!

New World Order.

Shadow government.

(WHISPERS) Illuminati.

OK, Dom, can we please just stop this nonsense now?

You have gone way too far.

I'm not saying that business people

don't congregate and legislate,

but it's not the goat-killing,

secret baby-eating Satanic ritual you think it is.

The reality is you have to find truth within.

And if you can't find it there,

you at least have to find it in something that's real -

science and medicine.

By God's good grace I execute judgement on you.

COVID-19, I command you -

leave God's good Earth and return to the pits of hell

from which you came!

Anyone for some Bondi kingie?

Brother Adrian,

have you let Jesus into your heart?

Fuck no. No.

What? I am good.

Oh, well, fun fact - it turns out that only God is good.

If God was so good, why is God's logo

for his religion a dead guy?

Yeah, that's Jesus.

He's the son of God. Um...

The way I think about it is Jesus is love.

Do you believe that?

Well, I mean, you don't have to believe it all.

You just take on the bits that make sense to you.

I find some comfort in the fact

that all the shit that's happened this year -

the floods, the hail, the pandemic,

it's all part of God's plan.

There's no plan, you know.

Like God... Like, God doesn't exist.

Fuck no, it's alright,

look, God does not exist, God is, say, existence.

And he's sure as shit

not some beardy white cunt in the sky

like, meddling with our lives.

You know, he's got bigger fish to fry.

I think it's dope that you're, like, searching for the truth

and that, Dom,

but why not try and find it in someone... real, you know.

I could teach you how to fish, you know.

(MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYS)

God, if you're not real,

at least show me a sign, you know,

show me someone real.

TRUMP, ON TV: ..see the disinfectant

that knocks it out in a minute.

That was a miracle! Did you see that?

TRUMP:..injection in, say... - That was a coincidence, Dom.

Could you... Quiet, brah, my new teacher is speaking.

TRUMP: And then I see the disinfectant

that knocks it out in a minute...

(DOORBELL DINGS)

What is it that couldn't be handled with a phone call?

Your eviction notice.

Cool. That's-

Dom is losing his grip on reality.

And it's my duty as his best and only friend to help him.

With these portable storage units,

how much air is in each storage unit?

Yeah, as in oxygen, yeah.

Like, I don't know, could a person live in there?

No, no, not like an actual person.

More like a person-sized monkey or whatever.

No animals. Got it.

Yeah. Oh, have you got wi-fi?

Yeah, I was just wondering if you've got like an area

that's good for people who are recently homeless,

like not full-on homeless,

like semi away from all the other homeless people.

I don't know, in my head I see like a private room

in a hostel full of homeless people.

Is breakfast included?

Dom?

Where are you going, Dom?

Yes, Dom, you finally get it!

You don't need your material possessions.

Just shed yourself of-

I'm not throwing my shit out, I'm moving out.

ADRIAN: Where?

Into this bin.

Dom, you don't need to move into a bin.

Just come inside.

Just let me help you, OK?

If you wanna help, put the modem in the window

so I can tap into the wi-fi.

Yeah.

(DOM PLAYS GUITAR AND SINGS) ♪ 2020 came and fucked my life

♪ And now I'm living in a bin

♪ But what makes me feel more distressed

♪ Than sleeping in a wheelie bin full of waste

♪ Is the substantial rubbish that's within

♪ Why can't you- ♪

Holy shit! Fuck, brah!

(SCREAMS) Help!

I was up all night beside myself with worry

that Dom was out there and cold on his own

so I went out to check on him and took him a tea and...

Dom!

..the recycling had been collected.

Oh, my God!

And so I have absolutely no idea where Dom has gone.

I have no idea where he is.

To keep me distracted from Dom,

I have started doing Wim Hof exposure therapy

and it really takes your mind off things.

Your body lets you know when your core is warm enough.

And it indicates its perfect temperature

with an earthing queef.

(FARTS)

OK...

Yep, we're good.

OK, I'm ready for the cold bath.

The principle being is that it's so fucking cold

that you actually have no capacity

to worry about anything else at all.

And it's great for your immunity and blood circ-

Dom, you're back!

Wow! Why don't you jump into the bath

and have an ice bath, Dom?

Yeah, I just swam back from the floating garbage island

in the middle of the Pacific Ocean

and I'm not in the mood for your fucking bullshit right now.

DAD: Adrian?

Hey, Dad, I just wanted to see how you were doing.

I'm doing OK, keeping busy.

We've approved a few new mines,

blown up a few old Indigenous burial grounds.

Planning whatever comes next.

Did you get the invite?

Spots here are running out.

Is it even safe there?

Look, it couldn't be safer.

Everyone here's been tested and...

..we've already got the vaccine.

I don't know, Dad.

Who's there?

The CEOs of the Big 4 banks,

politicians,

the Murdochs, Alan Jones,

Bert Newtown.

Uncle Bert?

(CHUCKLES)

Funny.

He says hi.

And what about Dom?

Adrian, listen...

..this is a very small, very select group of people

who have attained, protected and passed on ancient knowledge

since the fall of Atlantis,

and at this pivotal time, the last thing we need

is your freeloading fucktart of a friend

who says his beard dandruff is dried egg.

OK, Dad, it is dried egg.

I swear to Christ.

Dad...

Yes? (MAN GROANS)

Are you in the illuminati?

What?!

No! (SCOFFS)

Don't be ridiculous, Adrian.

That is absurd.

Look, if you change your mind,

the last train leaves at the stroke of midnight

on the blood moon,

from the canal by the 13th tee of Woollahra Golf Course.

(SHEEP BLEAT)

DOM, V/O: It's got to the point

where Adrian's just spending all day in the garage

and I'm completely on my own.

And I'm going to be living in bins for the rest of my life

unless I find the motivation to get creative

to do something new, to break some ground

and to make something of my life.

Hey,

my name is Dom.

Um, welcome to my OnlyFans.

That's right, Dirty Dom,

dancing in the place to be.

No, I don't think I'll fit that in there.

15 bucks and I'll take off the mask.

Huh?

(ADRIAN GAGS)

(ADRIAN GAGS ON VIDEO) Motherfuck!

You stole my business idea!

(GAGS)

(SCOFFS) OK. Really, Dom?

I shot that video three weeks ago

because you were not interested in collabing with me.

I'm sorry for doing something real.

Oh, yeah, cool, says the guy who's meditating.

Dom, I meditate to stay present.

You meditate to escape the present!

Meditation is just some spiritual fancy word

for daydreaming, alright? You know what's real?

Money is real, man. We need money!

Good lord.

You've turned into a boring crisis entrepreneur

leveraging off the collapse of civilisation for your own ends.

Oh, cool, yeah, 'cause you're just like a walking cliche

of a rich kid who thinks he's spiritual

'cause he has cold baths and doesn't wear fucking shoes.

Yeah, cool. OK, Jeff Bezos.

Well, sorry I don't have a minted Dad to bail me out

of every problem I've ever had.

Oh, I'm sorry my dad is not a fucking nurse!

My dad is a doctor, man. He's a doctor!

Dom, your dad is a fucking nurse, OK?

And you should be really proud of that.

Nurses are more valuable in this world

than anything you're trying to fucking strive for.

You know what?

Fuck you, man!

- Fuck me? - Fuck you!

Dad didn't bail me out, Dad bailed us out.

Us, Dom!

Every single time that I accepted money from Dad,

you benefited from it.

Truth is we'd be nowhere without Dad's generosity.

But you don't know what truth really looks like, do you?

Because every part of the person

that you're pretending to be

is a fucking lie.

Oh, yeah, cool, man. Run back to the garage

where you can keep pretending to be a man.

Yeah, cool, you have no idea

what I'm creating in there, do you?

Or actually what I fucking sacrifice for you?

How about this? You're not my best friend anymore.

Who needs a best friend?

DAD'S VOICE: Look, if you change your mind,

the last train leaves at the stroke of midnight

on the blood moon,

from the canal by the 13th tee of Woollahra Golf Course.

(EERIE MUSIC PLAYS)

(SPOOKY VOICE ECHOES)

Look, man, about before...

Now, an egg.

A friend, much like an egg,

is hard on the outside, but soft on the inside.

Friendship, much like cake,

can benefit from being a little bit sweeter.

But if you add too much sugar,

your friendship can end up with type 2 diabetes.

What does that make you feel when you watch that?

Are you not sad at all that you had an argument with Adrian?

I'll get a new best friend.

And in friendship sometimes,

one of the partnership, much like butter,

can be extremely rich,

and then the other person tends to rely

on the richness of the butter.

So are we wrapped?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Did you know I grew up on a farm out west?

I'm so sorry.

Yeah.

And we had these two chickens on the farm.

They were really stupid,

but cute, and they were always cooped up,

fighting all the time over silly things.

And one night, a fox got in.

And they were so busy fighting all the time

they didn't have the chance to escape.

Well, what happened?

They got ripped in half.

DOM: The chickens? - Yeah.

DOM: Fuck.

Wait...

Am... Oh. I'm the fox.

GERRY: No.

- Oh. Am I the coop? - No.

Am I the food?

(SIGHS) D-Dom...

Am I you?

The only thing that you and Adrian love

more than yourselves are each other.

But you're just too stupid to see it.

He's the stupid one.

He's the chickens, isn't he? Adrian's the chickens.

Do you genuinely have no idea

what he's been doing in the garage?

(EERIE MUSIC PLAYS)

(WOLF HOWLS)

(SPOOKY VOICE ECHOES)

(RUMBLING)

(TRAIN HORN WHISTLES)

(HORN BEEPS)

Adrian, brah!

Don't go, please!

Dom?

What...

Are you serious, man?

You made this with your bare hands?

It was going to be a surprise.

My God, this is the fucking coolest thing I've ever seen.

Are you serious, man?

You recycled an actual recycling bin!

Man, I'm rubbish.

I'm a rubbish friend.

I'm going to really, really miss you

if you get on that illuminati train

and you go meet your illuminati fuckwit dad

in an illuminati bunker.

I don't want to spend the end of the world

with anyone else but you, brah.

Cool, thanks.

I'm so sorry, brah.

Um, I'm sorry too.

Not all your ideas were shit.

So I suppose what I'm trying to ask you is...

..will you be my best friend... again?

OK.

- Air hugs? - Yeah.

Social distancing.

Love you, man.

- You too, brah. - Alright, let's roll!

Jump on in, you big dingaling!

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Hey! Hey, get off me!

You let him go!

MAN: The train must not depart

without the son of the Grand Director of Ceremonies!

(MEN GRUNT)

(MOBILE BEEPS)

(BONES CRACK) (MOBILE BEEPS)

Hey, Adrian!

(SCREAMS)

You got a call.

Who is it, brah?

Destiny.

(MEN SCREAM)

(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS)

Next stop, the future.

(ENGINE REVS)

DOM: So which of my business ideas did you like?

Was it Cumbucha?

ADRIAN: No, Dom, Cumbucha is super gross.

But it was a beverage.

And that's how my best friend Adrian and I

came to set up Bondi Rain -

locally produced, ethically sourced, non-GMO rainwater.

ADRIAN: And now that we're through the chaos of 2020,

well, back to business as yuzh.

Ain't nothing gonna stop us now.

PROTESTERS: (CHANT) If you don't like it, leave

take your hate outta my State.

(GRUNTING AND SHOUTING)

Everything is as it should be.

There you go, Debbie.

1240 dollaridoos.

DOM: Guess you won't be needing this anymore.

Well done.

But you are 13 days late.

So you've got another $1280 due tomorrow.

Um, sorry, $1280?

Yeah, the rent's gone up again.

Bye!

Fucking Bondi!