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♪ Deck the hall with boughs of Holly ♪
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♪ fa la la la la la ♪
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♪ tis the season to be jolly ♪
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♪ fa la la la la la ♪
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Lindsay.
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♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪
7
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Lindsay.
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♪ Troll the ancient yuletide Carol ♪
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♪ fa la la la la la la ♪
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Lindsay!
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Ugh, Alexa, you little
brat, what possible excuse
12
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could you have for destroying my rem?
13
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It's Christmas morning!
14
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Ugh, go record it and
I'll watch it later.
15
00:00:44,814 --> 00:00:47,114
But you'll miss the best part.
16
00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:51,773
Put in some director's
commentary, it'll be fine.
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Come on, deck the halls, ho, ho, ho.
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00:00:56,631 --> 00:00:58,964
Leave my room, go, go, go!
19
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Okay.
20
00:01:05,454 --> 00:01:09,621
I just thought you'd want to
see what Santa brought you.
21
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Presents?
22
00:01:12,722 --> 00:01:13,890
Yeah.
23
00:01:23,386 --> 00:01:24,692
Merry Christmas, Lindsay.
24
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Merry Christmas, honey.
25
00:01:26,102 --> 00:01:28,346
Looks like Santa brought
you a lot of gifts this year.
26
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Did he bring the...
27
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See for yourself.
28
00:01:31,603 --> 00:01:32,436
Hmm!
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Chanel, at last we are together.
30
00:01:56,486 --> 00:01:57,319
No, no.
31
00:02:01,847 --> 00:02:02,847
It's a fake.
32
00:02:23,555 --> 00:02:26,888
What's going on here, last year's jeans?
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Nikes.
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Wait a second, zikes?
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As if, this can't be happening.
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I was good all year.
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I was good all year!
38
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Santa!
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00:03:30,338 --> 00:03:31,588
That was close.
40
00:03:44,251 --> 00:03:46,168
Bye, I'm off to school.
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00:03:51,639 --> 00:03:52,844
♪ Living in the north pole ♪
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00:03:52,844 --> 00:03:54,713
♪ how could he understand ♪
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♪ that life without snow can
be something really grand ♪
44
00:03:56,663 --> 00:04:01,663
♪ and all of us who've
never seen a real reindeer ♪
45
00:04:01,979 --> 00:04:05,748
♪ know green's the color
of Christmas cheer ♪
46
00:04:05,748 --> 00:04:08,040
♪ the lawn may need mowing ♪
47
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,780
♪ with all the grass it's growing ♪
48
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:13,456
♪ but Christmas is cooler this year ♪
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♪ cool Christmas ♪
50
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♪ too cool for Christmas ♪
51
00:04:19,918 --> 00:04:23,513
♪ I'm asking Santa baby for
the Christmas that's brimming ♪
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♪ With lots of colored lights ♪
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♪ and lots of trees
with all the trimming ♪
54
00:04:29,428 --> 00:04:30,817
♪ I'm asking Santa claus for
a Christmas that's cool ♪
55
00:04:30,817 --> 00:04:34,962
♪ singing Christmas Carols
by the swimming pool ♪
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♪ cool Christmas ♪
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♪ cool, cool Christmas ♪
58
00:04:41,569 --> 00:04:45,064
♪ too cool for Christmas ♪
59
00:04:45,064 --> 00:04:48,481
♪ too cool for Christmas ♪
60
00:04:55,958 --> 00:04:57,258
Where were you?
61
00:04:57,258 --> 00:04:59,502
Good morning to you too.
62
00:04:59,502 --> 00:05:01,335
Sorry, good morning.
63
00:05:02,365 --> 00:05:05,973
I was freaking out, I
had the worst dream ever.
64
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,643
Not the fake Chanel one.
65
00:05:07,643 --> 00:05:09,038
Yes.
66
00:05:09,038 --> 00:05:10,925
That is the third time this week.
67
00:05:10,925 --> 00:05:12,925
I just feel so guilty.
68
00:05:14,864 --> 00:05:16,749
Have you told them yet?
69
00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:18,416
No, I can't do it.
70
00:05:19,974 --> 00:05:21,946
Well, my family leaves
on Christmas morning
71
00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:25,367
which is in three weeks
and when your parents see
72
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,979
that you're not at home, I'm pretty sure
73
00:05:26,979 --> 00:05:28,634
they're gonna notice.
74
00:05:28,634 --> 00:05:33,399
I'll tell them soon, but my
parents are gonna have a fit.
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00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:35,447
You know what Christmas means to them.
76
00:05:35,447 --> 00:05:39,400
You have had 16 christmases
with them in a row.
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00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:43,567
Yes, that's becoming more
over than my low carb diet.
78
00:05:47,579 --> 00:05:50,513
We're not big on tradition,
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00:05:50,513 --> 00:05:52,508
we do whatever we want to.
80
00:05:52,508 --> 00:05:55,414
Remember two years ago we went to Japan?
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00:05:55,414 --> 00:05:57,700
They don't even have
Christmas there, we ate Sushi
82
00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,555
instead of Turkey.
83
00:05:59,555 --> 00:06:01,250
And last year you went to Vegas.
84
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:03,872
Yeah, we had the best time.
85
00:06:03,872 --> 00:06:05,575
Ugh, with my family,
86
00:06:05,575 --> 00:06:08,658
it's the exact same thing every year.
87
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:15,315
Uncle Phil always comes to
dinner dressed up as Santa claus.
88
00:06:15,315 --> 00:06:16,486
More potatoes.
89
00:06:16,486 --> 00:06:18,194
And tells us some
whacked out made up Christmas
90
00:06:18,194 --> 00:06:19,797
story.
91
00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:22,781
Okay, where was I, oh, yes, yes, yes, so
92
00:06:22,781 --> 00:06:25,756
the giant meatball was
rolling down the hill
93
00:06:25,756 --> 00:06:28,266
heading straight for the
village, hurtling towards
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00:06:28,266 --> 00:06:32,200
their Christmas tree and if
it hit Christmas would surely
95
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,785
be ruined, are you gonna finish that?
96
00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:38,952
Uh, go for it.
97
00:06:45,366 --> 00:06:49,533
I saw Santa with the other
Turkey leg in his pocket.
98
00:06:57,270 --> 00:07:01,172
And then we all
sit around watching the grinch.
99
00:07:01,172 --> 00:07:03,881
The grinch is green?
100
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:07,298
I've gotta get me one of these color tvs.
101
00:07:13,696 --> 00:07:16,861
Christmas used to be a kick,
but it has gone totally lame,
102
00:07:16,861 --> 00:07:19,172
I just don't have the heart to tell them.
103
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,627
They live for this stuff.
104
00:07:20,627 --> 00:07:22,156
Yeah, well, you better
get the heart because the
105
00:07:22,156 --> 00:07:24,578
reservations are made and you got spandex.
106
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:27,403
I do like wearing cold weather attire.
107
00:07:34,458 --> 00:07:36,097
Okay, there's someone
who would look good in
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00:07:36,097 --> 00:07:38,476
cold weather attire.
109
00:07:38,476 --> 00:07:42,643
Anderson Caldwell would
look good in any attire.
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Quick, how do I look?
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00:07:47,143 --> 00:07:48,715
Oh, you look fine.
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00:07:48,715 --> 00:07:50,982
Fine is not going to do it,
I've been completely ignoring
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00:07:50,982 --> 00:07:52,997
him all semester so I can't
afford to be any less than
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00:07:52,997 --> 00:07:55,688
stellar, am I showcase?
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00:07:55,688 --> 00:07:58,021
You are showcase showdown.
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00:07:59,816 --> 00:08:01,208
Hey Paige.
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00:08:01,208 --> 00:08:03,605
- Hi Anderson.
- How you doing?
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00:08:03,605 --> 00:08:04,688
Hey, Lindsay.
119
00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:07,235
Hi.
120
00:08:09,418 --> 00:08:12,763
So you girls got any big
plans for the Christmas break?
121
00:08:12,763 --> 00:08:15,731
We're going skiing up at moonstone.
122
00:08:15,731 --> 00:08:19,731
Really, so are me and jt
and Kevin, where are you guys
123
00:08:19,731 --> 00:08:21,364
staying?
124
00:08:21,364 --> 00:08:25,272
Oh, the only place worth
staying, moonstone resort?
125
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:28,680
This is great, so are we,
we leave on Christmas morning.
126
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:29,597
So do we.
127
00:08:31,834 --> 00:08:34,713
Well, jt's gonna freak when
I tell him that you're coming,
128
00:08:34,713 --> 00:08:36,992
he's been dying to hook up with you.
129
00:08:36,992 --> 00:08:39,460
Oh, well, you can tell
jt to keep on dying,
130
00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:43,269
but you can tell Kevin to keep on trying.
131
00:08:43,269 --> 00:08:47,370
Okay, to the point
and rhymes, that's cool.
132
00:08:47,370 --> 00:08:50,135
I'll see you later, Paige.
133
00:08:50,135 --> 00:08:54,135
And Lindsay, I guess I'll
see you up there then.
134
00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:56,726
Yeah, I guess so.
135
00:08:58,974 --> 00:09:00,307
Okay, see you.
136
00:09:03,102 --> 00:09:05,893
So does this mean you're
coming on the trip for sure?
137
00:09:15,443 --> 00:09:18,572
You know what I want to do after this?
138
00:09:18,572 --> 00:09:22,322
Sit silently while I
do my hair and makeup?
139
00:09:23,166 --> 00:09:26,416
You read my mind, ugh, Lindsay, look.
140
00:09:31,151 --> 00:09:33,560
I want to thank you for
ignoring me all semester,
141
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:37,994
showing me complete
indifference, it really is
142
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:41,188
the only thing that men respond to.
143
00:09:41,188 --> 00:09:42,188
I knew it.
144
00:09:45,612 --> 00:09:46,862
Linds, linds,
145
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,548
so you're coming on the trip, right?
146
00:09:51,548 --> 00:09:53,513
I am so there.
147
00:09:53,513 --> 00:09:54,964
No flaking out at the last minute.
148
00:09:54,964 --> 00:09:57,171
Hello, glass houses.
149
00:09:57,171 --> 00:09:59,554
Okay, well what are you
gonna tell your parents?
150
00:09:59,554 --> 00:10:03,587
Well, daddy is a business
man, I'm going to have to appeal
151
00:10:03,587 --> 00:10:06,004
to them on an economic level.
152
00:10:08,924 --> 00:10:12,703
So by celebrating Christmas
on December 28th, you would be
153
00:10:12,703 --> 00:10:16,641
able to acquire gifts at favorably
lower post holiday prices
154
00:10:16,641 --> 00:10:20,025
the economic savings could
be amortized and with your
155
00:10:20,025 --> 00:10:22,159
rate of returns on today's
dollar, it would create
156
00:10:22,159 --> 00:10:24,371
a wider margin for other
essential expenditures
157
00:10:24,371 --> 00:10:27,330
including but not limited
to, birthday gifts,
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00:10:27,330 --> 00:10:31,330
graduation presents and
or college tuition, hmm.
159
00:10:33,012 --> 00:10:36,131
Excellent presentation, linds, excellent.
160
00:10:36,131 --> 00:10:39,575
Why the sudden concern
with saving me money?
161
00:10:39,575 --> 00:10:43,145
Aren't you tired of
being a slave to the man
162
00:10:43,145 --> 00:10:47,312
they call Christmas, and
it's all because of this guy.
163
00:10:51,015 --> 00:10:52,554
Santa claus.
164
00:11:01,818 --> 00:11:03,693
A corporate creation in the
tradition of Ronald McDonald
165
00:11:03,693 --> 00:11:06,007
and the energizer bunny.
166
00:11:06,007 --> 00:11:06,840
Lindsay.
167
00:11:08,187 --> 00:11:12,056
Did Lindsay just say the
energizer bunny isn't real?
168
00:11:12,056 --> 00:11:14,385
No, dear, but daddy and I
need to speak to Lindsay alone
169
00:11:14,385 --> 00:11:15,826
for a second.
170
00:11:15,826 --> 00:11:18,530
Yeah, why don't you go
finish that wish list you were
171
00:11:18,530 --> 00:11:21,249
- writing to Santa?
- Mmhmm.
172
00:11:21,249 --> 00:11:22,082
Okay.
173
00:11:28,376 --> 00:11:30,374
That was a close one.
174
00:11:30,374 --> 00:11:32,764
Why are you saying these
things in front of Alexa?
175
00:11:32,764 --> 00:11:34,597
What's this all about?
176
00:11:35,503 --> 00:11:38,548
Paige's family invited me to
spend Christmas at moonstone.
177
00:11:38,548 --> 00:11:42,370
I see, and what did you tell them?
178
00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:46,280
I told them that if it
was okay with you guys.
179
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,280
It's not okay with us.
180
00:11:49,865 --> 00:11:51,835
Daddy, please?
181
00:11:51,835 --> 00:11:54,918
This is the most important trip ever.
182
00:11:57,066 --> 00:12:00,733
The hottest boy in
school is gonna be there.
183
00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:04,659
Oh, the hottest boy.
184
00:12:04,659 --> 00:12:05,762
Uh-huh.
185
00:12:05,762 --> 00:12:07,954
Why didn't you say so,
that explains everything,
186
00:12:07,954 --> 00:12:09,994
the hottest, because if it
was the second hottest boy
187
00:12:09,994 --> 00:12:12,639
then you'd understand
why it's so important
188
00:12:12,639 --> 00:12:15,647
that you spend Christmas with your family,
189
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:18,630
but the hottest, well, that's different.
190
00:12:18,630 --> 00:12:21,463
Dad, you are so cool, thank you.
191
00:12:25,150 --> 00:12:29,317
He is not the second hottest,
I promise, I gotta call Paige.
192
00:12:30,772 --> 00:12:32,189
Come back here.
193
00:12:35,063 --> 00:12:39,989
If I don't get sarcasm,
doesn't that count as permission?
194
00:12:39,989 --> 00:12:43,510
Look, I have only two rules
if you are to live in this
195
00:12:43,510 --> 00:12:45,447
house, and one is straight
as and the other is that
196
00:12:45,447 --> 00:12:47,881
you spend the holidays with your family.
197
00:12:47,881 --> 00:12:50,450
I got the straight as,
what good are they if I can't
198
00:12:50,450 --> 00:12:53,367
use them as leverage for the other?
199
00:12:55,045 --> 00:12:56,045
Leverage?
200
00:12:56,045 --> 00:12:58,859
What do you call makeup and
the clothes and the car?
201
00:12:58,859 --> 00:12:59,859
Writeoffs?
202
00:13:00,784 --> 00:13:02,764
A portion of them, yes,
but a man's tax deductions
203
00:13:02,764 --> 00:13:05,785
are his own business and
this is not about that.
204
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,702
You're not going.
205
00:13:07,702 --> 00:13:10,436
You are being totally unfair.
206
00:13:10,436 --> 00:13:13,156
You know, in case you haven't
noticed, I'm getting older now
207
00:13:13,156 --> 00:13:14,857
I'm gonna be off to college
in a couple of years
208
00:13:14,857 --> 00:13:18,841
and you still treat me
like I'm Alexa's age.
209
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:22,008
You're not going, and that is final.
210
00:13:28,896 --> 00:13:32,210
It wasn't supposed to go this way.
211
00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:35,417
I've got a pointer and everything.
212
00:13:35,417 --> 00:13:37,109
He's just hurt.
213
00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:40,127
Will you talk to him, please?
214
00:13:40,127 --> 00:13:44,336
Linds, I can't, I agree with him, sorry.
215
00:13:44,336 --> 00:13:48,698
But playing you
against daddy was my last resort.
216
00:13:48,698 --> 00:13:51,360
Well, next time use it
before you say there's no Santa
217
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:52,968
in front of a six year old.
218
00:13:52,968 --> 00:13:55,360
Santa is so five years ago.
219
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:56,907
Lindsay!
220
00:13:56,907 --> 00:13:59,564
Alexa's gonna find out sometime.
221
00:13:59,564 --> 00:14:01,357
Believing in Santa
is every child's right,
222
00:14:01,357 --> 00:14:03,209
you taking that from your
sister is kind of selfish,
223
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:04,527
don't you think?
224
00:14:04,527 --> 00:14:07,204
Great, Alexa's got
rights and I can't even go
225
00:14:07,204 --> 00:14:12,189
on a ski trip, I am not the
one who's being selfish here.
226
00:14:12,189 --> 00:14:16,011
Lindsay, you're my
daughter and I love you,
227
00:14:16,011 --> 00:14:17,479
but when have you ever
done something that wasn't
228
00:14:17,479 --> 00:14:20,354
for your own self interest?
229
00:14:20,354 --> 00:14:22,620
You know what spending
Christmas together means to us,
230
00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:25,444
why don't you think about that?
231
00:14:25,444 --> 00:14:27,652
There is nothing to think about,
232
00:14:27,652 --> 00:14:29,819
I want to go on this trip.
233
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,630
Well, you always want
something, don't you?
234
00:14:42,019 --> 00:14:42,852
You.
235
00:15:08,684 --> 00:15:10,415
So you're just going on
the trip without permission?
236
00:15:10,415 --> 00:15:12,998
Like they give me any choice.
237
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:19,071
Well, you have never
disobeyed your parents before.
238
00:15:19,071 --> 00:15:22,079
They have never put me
in a position of having to.
239
00:15:22,079 --> 00:15:25,177
You should have heard them, selfish, me?
240
00:15:25,177 --> 00:15:26,696
I don't think so.
241
00:15:26,696 --> 00:15:28,384
So you're cool with this.
242
00:15:28,384 --> 00:15:32,551
I don't want to talk about
it anymore, I just want to shop.
243
00:15:35,873 --> 00:15:38,266
I'm still not sure if
I like these, I mean,
244
00:15:38,266 --> 00:15:42,791
they're tasty yes, but
would I really want this
245
00:15:42,791 --> 00:15:46,958
for an entire meal, think I'm
gonna need to have one more.
246
00:15:49,631 --> 00:15:53,076
Back away from the chicken sticks, sir,
247
00:15:53,076 --> 00:15:55,326
put the chicken stick down.
248
00:15:59,372 --> 00:16:01,117
Dude, you thinking of buying something?
249
00:16:01,117 --> 00:16:05,284
Oh, I'm sorry, did you
need me to buy something?
250
00:16:06,422 --> 00:16:08,973
But those samples,
they're for the customers.
251
00:16:08,973 --> 00:16:10,619
Well, I'm making sure
they're up to regulation
252
00:16:10,619 --> 00:16:13,831
standards, might want to
cut these bigger next time,
253
00:16:13,831 --> 00:16:15,914
you food service failure.
254
00:16:18,357 --> 00:16:22,571
You just can't come here
and eat all the samples.
255
00:16:22,571 --> 00:16:26,116
Lumley in sector
seven, requesting backup.
256
00:16:26,116 --> 00:16:29,119
Hey, I didn't do anything.
257
00:16:29,119 --> 00:16:31,797
I got the call, Chuck, what's up?
258
00:16:31,797 --> 00:16:34,923
Pencil neck here's
risking the lives of women
259
00:16:34,923 --> 00:16:39,101
and children by feeding them
food on sharp wooden objects.
260
00:16:39,101 --> 00:16:40,387
You bad man.
261
00:16:40,387 --> 00:16:44,086
Do you know what this could do if lodged
262
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,336
in the throat of an infant?
263
00:16:48,780 --> 00:16:50,085
Write 'em up, Donny.
264
00:16:50,085 --> 00:16:52,075
Yeah, right.
265
00:16:52,075 --> 00:16:54,777
Come on, this isn't fair.
266
00:16:54,777 --> 00:16:59,189
Watch it, I eat guys
like you for breakfast.
267
00:16:59,189 --> 00:17:00,187
I thought you had cheerios.
268
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,395
Shut up, Donny.
269
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,228
Okay.
270
00:17:04,031 --> 00:17:05,031
I'm sorry.
271
00:17:07,143 --> 00:17:09,893
You can just eat all the samples.
272
00:17:13,659 --> 00:17:17,177
Why don't you go get a few
more of these for me, huh?
273
00:17:17,177 --> 00:17:21,547
Move along, come on, go,
go, move it, walk, go,
274
00:17:21,547 --> 00:17:25,260
yeah, that's it, one foot, two foot, yeah.
275
00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:27,358
You played him perfectly.
276
00:17:27,358 --> 00:17:31,040
I didn't play anybody, I'm doing my job,
277
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:34,123
these people owe us, we protect them.
278
00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:37,375
You're new, you'll learn.
279
00:17:37,375 --> 00:17:39,297
Thanks, boss.
280
00:17:39,297 --> 00:17:40,621
What do you want to get?
281
00:17:40,621 --> 00:17:42,309
We should get something for my parents
282
00:17:42,309 --> 00:17:43,857
for taking us on this trip.
283
00:17:43,857 --> 00:17:46,106
Yeah, let's use my dad's
credit card, that way
284
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:49,422
your dad won't feel like
he bought it for himself.
285
00:17:49,422 --> 00:17:51,953
You are always thinking, linds.
286
00:17:51,953 --> 00:17:54,338
Is that ever pathetic?
287
00:17:54,338 --> 00:17:55,341
What?
288
00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:57,613
In a desperate attempt to lure customers,
289
00:17:57,613 --> 00:18:00,430
they prey on innocent kids,
like if Santa were for real
290
00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:02,282
he'd come to our town in December
291
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:05,159
and hang out every day
at this particular mall.
292
00:18:05,159 --> 00:18:07,960
Look at the girls they
hired, it's like Christmas
293
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,502
- at Hooters.
- I guess the dads need
294
00:18:10,502 --> 00:18:12,686
something to look at while
their kids beg for gifts
295
00:18:12,686 --> 00:18:14,434
from Santa fraud.
296
00:18:14,434 --> 00:18:16,330
Who hasn't even shown up.
297
00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:20,127
He's probably waiting
for the line to get longer.
298
00:18:20,127 --> 00:18:22,736
You know, like they do at nightclubs?
299
00:18:26,245 --> 00:18:29,950
Look what the reindeer
dragged in, he must be browsing.
300
00:18:29,950 --> 00:18:32,754
Mall santas don't exactly drive porsches,
301
00:18:32,754 --> 00:18:35,421
this should be good for a laugh.
302
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,099
Hello, Santa, is there
anything I can help you with?
303
00:18:40,099 --> 00:18:44,182
Yes, thank you, I was
looking for something to wear
304
00:18:44,182 --> 00:18:46,450
to look attractive to the Mrs.
305
00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:48,619
The mrs, and who would that be?
306
00:18:48,619 --> 00:18:50,518
Mrs. Claus of course.
307
00:18:50,518 --> 00:18:53,061
Of course, you're still together?
308
00:18:53,061 --> 00:18:55,951
And they say celebrity couples never last.
309
00:18:55,951 --> 00:18:59,468
Hmm, something that would
make you look attractive.
310
00:18:59,468 --> 00:19:03,051
Have you thought of
giving her a blindfold?
311
00:19:05,181 --> 00:19:08,598
I'm joking, what do you think she'd like?
312
00:19:10,087 --> 00:19:13,504
I don't know, I don't normally do this.
313
00:19:15,783 --> 00:19:16,616
Clearly.
314
00:19:18,642 --> 00:19:21,536
None of these suits
seem to have any prices.
315
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:24,305
If you have to ask, you
obviously can't afford to buy.
316
00:19:24,305 --> 00:19:26,388
Merry Christmas, goodbye.
317
00:19:30,542 --> 00:19:32,042
Merry Christmas.
318
00:19:41,123 --> 00:19:43,231
Hmm, how many grams of fat in yours?
319
00:19:43,231 --> 00:19:44,229
5.1.
320
00:19:44,229 --> 00:19:46,042
I beat you, 4.6.
321
00:19:46,042 --> 00:19:48,044
Yeah, but you got the
medium and I got the small,
322
00:19:48,044 --> 00:19:51,029
making your fat savings irrelevant.
323
00:19:51,029 --> 00:19:53,490
Yeah, well, I might not finish mine.
324
00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:54,323
Ooh.
325
00:19:58,970 --> 00:20:00,220
Spoiled kids.
326
00:20:01,411 --> 00:20:03,244
Man, I hate teenagers.
327
00:20:04,151 --> 00:20:07,136
Mall be better off without 'em.
328
00:20:07,136 --> 00:20:09,722
Aren't they the reason
the mall is in business?
329
00:20:09,722 --> 00:20:12,265
The average teenager buys nothing.
330
00:20:12,265 --> 00:20:15,428
All they do is take up space
and the ones that do shop
331
00:20:15,428 --> 00:20:18,191
put everything on daddy's credit card.
332
00:20:18,191 --> 00:20:21,647
I protect these ingrates,
and what thanks do I get?
333
00:20:21,647 --> 00:20:24,872
Do I ever get daddy's credit
card, I don't think so,
334
00:20:24,872 --> 00:20:26,874
he was too busy making
captain of the police force
335
00:20:26,874 --> 00:20:29,124
like his father before him.
336
00:20:29,971 --> 00:20:31,551
A couple of guys are
talking, they say you tried out
337
00:20:31,551 --> 00:20:33,173
for the force.
338
00:20:33,173 --> 00:20:35,498
Who said that, they're lying.
339
00:20:35,498 --> 00:20:37,748
Nobody, I just overheard.
340
00:20:39,153 --> 00:20:41,871
I coulda made the force if I wanted to.
341
00:20:41,871 --> 00:20:44,779
This is where I was meant
to be, the very mall
342
00:20:44,779 --> 00:20:48,730
I was laughed out of in high
school is my stomping grounds
343
00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:52,216
and I'm gonna make sure it stays mine.
344
00:20:52,216 --> 00:20:53,215
How?
345
00:20:53,215 --> 00:20:56,154
All it takes is the
elimination of one popular girl,
346
00:20:56,154 --> 00:21:00,321
you do that, her friends stop
coming, then their friends,
347
00:21:01,442 --> 00:21:03,321
then what have you got?
348
00:21:03,321 --> 00:21:04,571
Teenage boys.
349
00:21:05,588 --> 00:21:09,365
No, the boys go wherever the girls go.
350
00:21:09,365 --> 00:21:11,533
Maybe without the mall the
girls'll go to the library
351
00:21:11,533 --> 00:21:14,159
and when they come back
as adults they won't be
352
00:21:14,159 --> 00:21:17,650
such idiots, hey, come on, let you buy me
353
00:21:17,650 --> 00:21:19,563
a peanut buster parfait.
354
00:21:19,563 --> 00:21:21,111
Oh, thanks boss.
355
00:21:21,111 --> 00:21:24,547
This job's about two
things, earned authority
356
00:21:24,547 --> 00:21:26,239
and unspoken respect.
357
00:21:28,615 --> 00:21:29,865
Who threw that?
358
00:21:31,613 --> 00:21:32,446
Come on.
359
00:21:35,170 --> 00:21:37,003
All right, who was it?
360
00:21:43,113 --> 00:21:45,077
What'd I tell you?
361
00:21:45,077 --> 00:21:47,272
I knew they were trouble.
362
00:21:47,272 --> 00:21:51,471
I'm thinking of getting a
subscription to reader's digest.
363
00:21:51,471 --> 00:21:54,408
What, my grandma reads that.
364
00:21:54,408 --> 00:21:58,173
Okay, hear me out, when we
were 12, what did we read?
365
00:21:58,173 --> 00:21:59,508
16 magazine.
366
00:21:59,508 --> 00:22:00,994
And then at 15?
367
00:22:00,994 --> 00:22:02,082
17 magazine.
368
00:22:02,082 --> 00:22:04,992
Exactly, seeing that
these magazines are designed
369
00:22:04,992 --> 00:22:07,347
to make younger people feel more mature,
370
00:22:07,347 --> 00:22:10,226
imagine what we would know
if we skipped all the way...
371
00:22:10,226 --> 00:22:13,726
So you like to throw hamburgers, do you?
372
00:22:15,075 --> 00:22:16,516
I'm sorry?
373
00:22:16,516 --> 00:22:18,243
I'm sorry isn't going to
get the hamburger grease
374
00:22:18,243 --> 00:22:20,076
out of my hair, is it?
375
00:22:21,235 --> 00:22:26,190
No, you'll probably need a
really good clarifying shampoo.
376
00:22:26,190 --> 00:22:27,664
You sassing me?
377
00:22:27,664 --> 00:22:30,120
I have no clue what you're saying to me.
378
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:31,403
Yeah, you should have
thought about that before
379
00:22:31,403 --> 00:22:33,452
you threw the hamburger.
380
00:22:33,452 --> 00:22:37,285
Look at me, do I look
like I eat hamburgers?
381
00:22:38,236 --> 00:22:41,938
All the more reason why you'd throw one.
382
00:22:41,938 --> 00:22:44,412
Give me that, what are you doing?
383
00:22:44,412 --> 00:22:47,995
Lindsay deerborne of 1844 rockaway drive,
384
00:22:49,613 --> 00:22:52,655
consider yourself cited,
write her up, Donny!
385
00:22:52,655 --> 00:22:54,988
You psycho, wait a second!
386
00:22:55,909 --> 00:22:59,576
I knew I recognized
him, we saw him on TV.
387
00:22:59,576 --> 00:23:02,493
Yeah, you were on extreme a date.
388
00:23:03,611 --> 00:23:05,944
No I wasn't, you're lying!
389
00:23:10,256 --> 00:23:12,983
Conversation flowed and we
connected, gotta be honest,
390
00:23:12,983 --> 00:23:15,860
right now she digs me a
bit more and that's fine,
391
00:23:15,860 --> 00:23:18,341
sometimes they're gonna
like me more, other times
392
00:23:18,341 --> 00:23:22,508
I'm gonna like them less, but
yeah, I'll call Alyson again.
393
00:23:23,889 --> 00:23:28,275
Go out, again?
394
00:23:30,554 --> 00:23:34,685
My personal life is
none of your business,
395
00:23:34,685 --> 00:23:37,024
better straighten up
little lady, one false move
396
00:23:37,024 --> 00:23:40,441
and you're banned from the mall for life!
397
00:23:45,951 --> 00:23:48,723
- Banned for life.
- Donny!
398
00:23:48,723 --> 00:23:49,973
Coming Chuck.
399
00:23:51,948 --> 00:23:56,171
Okay, that was by far the
weirdest thing that has ever
400
00:23:56,171 --> 00:23:59,483
happened in the history of my life.
401
00:23:59,483 --> 00:24:01,680
Banned for life.
402
00:24:05,706 --> 00:24:07,173
Ooh, ooh, where would we
go to see the real actual
403
00:24:07,173 --> 00:24:08,173
Santa claus?
404
00:24:11,898 --> 00:24:14,040
Are you still on that?
405
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:18,419
Linds, I think you're developing
some major Christmas issues.
406
00:24:18,419 --> 00:24:22,623
Well, I can't see a
shrink on such short notice.
407
00:24:22,623 --> 00:24:26,031
This one is for you,
like that, there you go.
408
00:24:26,031 --> 00:24:28,281
I guess he'll have to do.
409
00:24:38,895 --> 00:24:41,829
Have you been a good girl all year long?
410
00:24:41,829 --> 00:24:44,566
Well I know you have, and believe me,
411
00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:46,854
Santa's gonna be sure you get that doll,
412
00:24:46,854 --> 00:24:49,726
my elves have made it especially for you,
413
00:24:49,726 --> 00:24:52,665
merry Christmas, Sophia, merry Christmas.
414
00:24:52,665 --> 00:24:54,582
Run along now, bye bye.
415
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,685
Well, look what we have
here, some older kids,
416
00:24:59,685 --> 00:25:00,994
merry Christmas.
417
00:25:00,994 --> 00:25:03,627
Yeah, forgive us if we
don't sit on your lap, perv.
418
00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:04,636
Ew.
419
00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:08,349
That's not a very nice
thing to say, it's Christmas.
420
00:25:08,349 --> 00:25:10,889
Now tell Santa what you'd like this year.
421
00:25:10,889 --> 00:25:14,832
Well, if you're the real
Santa, wouldn't you already know?
422
00:25:14,832 --> 00:25:17,381
Well, I left my list in the sleigh.
423
00:25:17,381 --> 00:25:20,331
Yeah, I think that's the
Santa equivalent to my dog
424
00:25:20,331 --> 00:25:22,094
ate my homework.
425
00:25:22,094 --> 00:25:25,729
Come on, Santa, let's see
some of that Christmas magic.
426
00:25:25,729 --> 00:25:27,680
What is it that I want this year?
427
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,011
Well, judging from the way you're acting,
428
00:25:30,011 --> 00:25:33,070
I'd say something perhaps a little...
429
00:25:33,070 --> 00:25:35,776
What, overpriced and superficial?
430
00:25:35,776 --> 00:25:37,812
Ouch, you just got
burned by a mall Santa,
431
00:25:37,812 --> 00:25:40,205
good one, St. Nick.
432
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:43,368
Yeah, no, not good one,
at least I don't wear
433
00:25:43,368 --> 00:25:45,371
the same red suit every year.
434
00:25:45,371 --> 00:25:49,148
Tell me, Santa, how can Mrs.
Claus stand to be married
435
00:25:49,148 --> 00:25:52,430
to someone so completely devoid of style?
436
00:25:52,430 --> 00:25:54,423
She likes me just fine.
437
00:25:54,423 --> 00:25:56,736
Are you sure, how could she, I mean,
438
00:25:56,736 --> 00:25:58,881
you're inactive all but one day a year,
439
00:25:58,881 --> 00:26:02,201
you hang out with a bunch
of elves and you sit around,
440
00:26:02,201 --> 00:26:03,524
put on the chubby blump.
441
00:26:06,265 --> 00:26:09,682
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it was a pillow.
442
00:26:10,958 --> 00:26:13,331
Well, I'm afraid it isn't.
443
00:26:13,331 --> 00:26:17,418
Merry Christmas to you, merry
Christmas, merry Christmas.
444
00:26:17,418 --> 00:26:18,763
Merry Christmas, Santa.
445
00:26:18,763 --> 00:26:21,930
Now you girls run right along, next?
446
00:26:23,034 --> 00:26:26,132
Well look what we have
here, Santa's favorite,
447
00:26:26,132 --> 00:26:30,980
chocolate chips, merry Christmas
and thank you very much.
448
00:26:43,666 --> 00:26:46,211
Okay, linds, what's
going on, you haven't said
449
00:26:46,211 --> 00:26:48,565
two words since we left the mall.
450
00:26:48,565 --> 00:26:51,508
Do you think I'm selfish?
451
00:26:51,508 --> 00:26:54,522
What?
452
00:26:54,522 --> 00:26:55,871
Of course you're not selfish.
453
00:26:55,871 --> 00:26:57,318
How do you know?
454
00:26:57,318 --> 00:26:59,114
Because you and I are exactly alike
455
00:26:59,114 --> 00:27:01,408
and if you were selfish
that would make me selfish
456
00:27:01,408 --> 00:27:03,658
and I know I'm not selfish.
457
00:27:05,912 --> 00:27:07,912
My parents think I am.
458
00:27:09,176 --> 00:27:11,459
Maybe they're right, think
about it, have I ever
459
00:27:11,459 --> 00:27:13,827
done anything for anybody?
460
00:27:13,827 --> 00:27:15,703
Look, maybe it's not such a good idea
461
00:27:15,703 --> 00:27:17,295
that you come on the trip.
462
00:27:17,295 --> 00:27:19,243
The trip has nothing to do with it,
463
00:27:19,243 --> 00:27:22,558
I am going and that's all there is to it.
464
00:27:22,558 --> 00:27:23,391
Okay.
465
00:27:27,737 --> 00:27:29,752
You wanna come in?
466
00:27:29,752 --> 00:27:33,208
No thanks, there's
something I've got to go do.
467
00:27:33,208 --> 00:27:36,629
Ooh, how mysterious,
does this have anything
468
00:27:36,629 --> 00:27:38,791
to do with Anderson?
469
00:27:38,791 --> 00:27:40,958
Don't be so nosy, later.
470
00:28:03,983 --> 00:28:07,483
Thank you very much, good night, ladies.
471
00:28:12,388 --> 00:28:13,725
Hi.
472
00:28:13,725 --> 00:28:14,747
What?
473
00:28:14,747 --> 00:28:16,688
Oh, hello again.
474
00:28:16,688 --> 00:28:21,220
I just wanted to apologize
for what I said before.
475
00:28:21,220 --> 00:28:23,206
I was way out of line.
476
00:28:23,206 --> 00:28:27,373
People act funny during the
holidays, I understand that.
477
00:28:28,637 --> 00:28:31,283
Thank you for saying
that, I appreciate it.
478
00:28:31,283 --> 00:28:33,055
Are you done for the day?
479
00:28:33,055 --> 00:28:33,888
Yes, I am.
480
00:28:33,888 --> 00:28:35,041
Because I thought maybe
if you had some time,
481
00:28:35,041 --> 00:28:37,644
I could buy you Christmas
gifts, seeing how I acted
482
00:28:37,644 --> 00:28:38,477
and all.
483
00:28:39,355 --> 00:28:40,705
Well, that's very sweet
of you, but I just couldn't
484
00:28:40,705 --> 00:28:41,538
accept it.
485
00:28:43,678 --> 00:28:47,868
- How about a hot chocolate?
- I really shouldn't.
486
00:28:47,868 --> 00:28:49,749
It's fat free.
487
00:28:49,749 --> 00:28:52,499
Ah, well, all right, thank you.
488
00:28:55,652 --> 00:28:58,203
There's got be something,
maybe I can buy your wife
489
00:28:58,203 --> 00:29:01,300
a gift and you can give it to her.
490
00:29:01,300 --> 00:29:02,800
- My wife.
- Mmhmm.
491
00:29:03,810 --> 00:29:06,499
You said something
earlier today, you asked
492
00:29:06,499 --> 00:29:10,185
how she could stay married
to a man so devoid of style,
493
00:29:10,185 --> 00:29:11,669
that's what you said, you
said that, didn't you?
494
00:29:11,669 --> 00:29:14,388
Yeah, okay, even you have
to admit, you are a little
495
00:29:14,388 --> 00:29:16,872
wardrobe challenged.
496
00:29:16,872 --> 00:29:19,267
Well, I never used to
bother before, Mrs. Claus
497
00:29:19,267 --> 00:29:22,763
is very happy with me, but,
well, we've been married
498
00:29:22,763 --> 00:29:26,276
for over a thousand years,
and let me tell you something,
499
00:29:26,276 --> 00:29:30,443
that 700 year itch with Mrs.
Claus, well, it's quite tough.
500
00:29:32,336 --> 00:29:34,840
If we're gonna keep talking, can you drop
501
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,590
the Mrs. Claus thing?
502
00:29:37,509 --> 00:29:40,676
What would you prefer, Mrs. Kringle?
503
00:29:42,324 --> 00:29:45,824
No, Mrs. Claus is fine, you were saying?
504
00:29:47,899 --> 00:29:52,610
Well, I don't know
what's happened between us.
505
00:29:52,610 --> 00:29:54,988
We used to be so close.
506
00:29:56,740 --> 00:30:00,407
We were like two lights
in a Christmas tree.
507
00:30:11,677 --> 00:30:14,773
Every year those lists got
longer, longer, and the lights
508
00:30:14,773 --> 00:30:17,273
got further and further apart.
509
00:30:53,684 --> 00:30:55,638
Until it seemed that the
lights were in danger
510
00:30:55,638 --> 00:30:58,024
of burning out altogether.
511
00:31:03,869 --> 00:31:07,500
You know, I know how to deliver presents,
512
00:31:07,500 --> 00:31:09,727
I can fit down a chimney or two,
513
00:31:09,727 --> 00:31:12,711
but I haven't got a clue
how to get those lights
514
00:31:12,711 --> 00:31:14,461
to shine again, well.
515
00:31:17,692 --> 00:31:19,807
Thank you kindly for the hot chocolate
516
00:31:19,807 --> 00:31:21,672
and merry Christmas to you.
517
00:31:21,672 --> 00:31:23,704
- Maybe I can help you.
- What?
518
00:31:23,704 --> 00:31:26,507
What, is it so hard to believe
519
00:31:26,507 --> 00:31:28,724
I could help another person?
520
00:31:28,724 --> 00:31:29,741
No.
521
00:31:29,741 --> 00:31:31,867
I don't only care about myself, you know.
522
00:31:31,867 --> 00:31:34,051
Otherwise I wouldn't
be trying to help you.
523
00:31:34,051 --> 00:31:36,587
That act alone says
I'm not selfish, right?
524
00:31:36,587 --> 00:31:37,822
Well, I suppose that's right.
525
00:31:37,822 --> 00:31:40,120
Trust me, it does, now I
don't know what it's like
526
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:41,978
to be married, but I definitely know
527
00:31:41,978 --> 00:31:43,693
how to get other people's attention.
528
00:31:43,693 --> 00:31:46,360
Well, I'm sure you do, but...
529
00:31:48,156 --> 00:31:50,872
What would you have me do?
530
00:31:50,872 --> 00:31:53,366
It's all about making changes.
531
00:31:53,366 --> 00:31:54,783
And in your case.
532
00:31:56,990 --> 00:31:58,657
I would say that...
533
00:31:59,825 --> 00:32:01,794
We'd start from the outside in.
534
00:32:01,794 --> 00:32:03,877
The outside in?
535
00:32:05,153 --> 00:32:08,505
You'll see, let's get started.
536
00:32:08,505 --> 00:32:10,213
This is most extraordinary.
537
00:32:13,949 --> 00:32:17,576
Hi, I'm going to need a guest pass.
538
00:32:17,576 --> 00:32:18,409
Thank you.
539
00:32:22,408 --> 00:32:23,908
Merry Christmas.
540
00:32:25,483 --> 00:32:27,618
♪ I'm coming out ♪
541
00:32:27,618 --> 00:32:30,027
♪ I want the world to know ♪
542
00:32:30,027 --> 00:32:33,388
♪ got to let it show ♪
543
00:32:33,388 --> 00:32:36,502
♪ I'm coming out ♪
544
00:32:36,502 --> 00:32:38,877
♪ I want the world to know ♪
545
00:32:38,877 --> 00:32:42,891
♪ got to let it show ♪
546
00:32:42,891 --> 00:32:44,639
♪ there's a new me coming out ♪
547
00:32:44,639 --> 00:32:46,877
♪ and I just have to live ♪
548
00:32:46,877 --> 00:32:49,221
♪ and I wanna give ♪
549
00:32:49,221 --> 00:32:51,554
♪ I'm completely positive ♪
550
00:32:51,554 --> 00:32:53,647
♪ I think this time around ♪
551
00:32:53,647 --> 00:32:57,934
♪ I am gonna do it like
you never knew it ♪
552
00:32:57,934 --> 00:33:00,364
♪ oh, I'll make it through ♪
553
00:33:00,364 --> 00:33:02,541
♪ the time has come for me ♪
554
00:33:02,541 --> 00:33:04,621
♪ to break out of this shell ♪
555
00:33:04,621 --> 00:33:09,060
♪ I have to shout that I am coming out ♪
556
00:33:09,060 --> 00:33:11,643
♪ I'm coming out ♪
557
00:33:11,643 --> 00:33:14,041
♪ I want the world to know ♪
558
00:33:14,041 --> 00:33:18,126
♪ I got to let it show ♪
559
00:33:18,126 --> 00:33:20,972
♪ I'm coming out ♪
560
00:33:20,972 --> 00:33:22,652
♪ I want the world to know ♪
561
00:33:22,652 --> 00:33:26,674
♪ I've got to let it show ♪
562
00:33:26,674 --> 00:33:29,384
♪ I'm coming out ♪
563
00:33:29,384 --> 00:33:31,995
♪ I want the world to know ♪
564
00:33:31,995 --> 00:33:34,320
♪ got to let it show ♪
565
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:35,577
♪ I'm coming ♪
566
00:33:35,577 --> 00:33:38,224
♪ I'm coming out ♪
567
00:33:38,224 --> 00:33:41,141
♪ I want the world to know ♪
568
00:33:41,141 --> 00:33:44,206
♪ got to let it show ♪
569
00:33:44,206 --> 00:33:46,235
♪ I've got to show the world ♪
570
00:33:46,235 --> 00:33:48,485
♪ all that I want to be ♪
571
00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:50,717
♪ and all my abilities ♪
572
00:33:50,717 --> 00:33:53,052
♪ there's so much more to me ♪
573
00:33:53,052 --> 00:33:55,024
♪ somehow I'll have to make them ♪
574
00:33:55,024 --> 00:33:57,441
♪ just understand ♪
575
00:33:57,441 --> 00:33:59,437
♪ I got it well in hand ♪
576
00:33:59,437 --> 00:34:02,597
♪ and oh how I have planned ♪
577
00:34:02,597 --> 00:34:04,266
♪ I'm spreading love ♪
578
00:34:04,266 --> 00:34:06,231
♪ there is no need to fear ♪
579
00:34:06,231 --> 00:34:10,863
♪ and I just feel so
good every time I hear ♪
580
00:34:10,863 --> 00:34:12,981
♪ I'm coming out ♪
581
00:34:12,981 --> 00:34:15,738
♪ I want the world to know ♪
582
00:34:15,738 --> 00:34:19,494
♪ I've got to let it show ♪
583
00:34:19,494 --> 00:34:22,241
♪ I'm coming out ♪
584
00:34:22,241 --> 00:34:24,449
♪ I want the world to know ♪
585
00:34:24,449 --> 00:34:27,116
♪ got to let it show ♪
586
00:34:27,116 --> 00:34:28,432
♪ I'm coming ♪
587
00:34:28,432 --> 00:34:31,089
♪ I'm coming out ♪
588
00:34:31,089 --> 00:34:33,295
♪ I want the world to know ♪
589
00:34:33,295 --> 00:34:36,974
♪ got to let it show ♪
590
00:34:36,974 --> 00:34:39,761
♪ I'm coming out ♪
591
00:34:39,761 --> 00:34:41,916
♪ I want the world to know ♪
592
00:34:41,916 --> 00:34:44,999
♪ got to let it show ♪
593
00:34:56,528 --> 00:34:58,995
You see that chick I was
talking to on the treadmill?
594
00:34:58,995 --> 00:35:01,938
Yeah, I took her out
last week, hope my wife
595
00:35:01,938 --> 00:35:03,355
doesn't find out.
596
00:35:20,578 --> 00:35:21,580
Hello?
597
00:35:21,580 --> 00:35:22,671
Where are you?
598
00:35:22,671 --> 00:35:23,703
I'm at the gym.
599
00:35:23,703 --> 00:35:27,539
Again, Lindsay, it's
Christmas Eve, give it a rest.
600
00:35:27,539 --> 00:35:29,391
Gotta look good in my ski outfit.
601
00:35:29,391 --> 00:35:31,182
Okay, just don't be late for dinner,
602
00:35:31,182 --> 00:35:33,019
if you make my dad wait
to eat, he'll freak.
603
00:35:33,019 --> 00:35:34,619
Chill out, I'll be there.
604
00:35:34,619 --> 00:35:35,610
Later.
605
00:35:35,610 --> 00:35:36,956
Bye.
606
00:35:36,956 --> 00:35:39,319
Christmas Eve, you
should be getting home.
607
00:35:39,319 --> 00:35:42,258
No, I'm not done with you yet.
608
00:35:42,258 --> 00:35:43,258
What next?
609
00:35:44,587 --> 00:35:45,670
You'll see.
610
00:35:46,511 --> 00:35:49,917
♪ I'm coming out ♪
611
00:35:49,917 --> 00:35:51,415
Ma'am, you can't walk
at that pace in here
612
00:35:51,415 --> 00:35:54,468
on Christmas Eve, you're
slowing down mall traffic,
613
00:35:54,468 --> 00:35:55,922
write her up, Donny.
614
00:35:55,922 --> 00:35:57,005
Okay, boss.
615
00:35:58,051 --> 00:36:00,413
I don't think they make
these in my new size.
616
00:36:00,413 --> 00:36:03,797
Yeah, there's a reason
for that, it is time
617
00:36:03,797 --> 00:36:06,880
to bring Santa into the 21st century.
618
00:36:10,102 --> 00:36:14,102
Hey, Chuck, Chuck, wasn't
that the girl from before?
619
00:36:14,102 --> 00:36:16,685
Why is she with the mall Santa?
620
00:36:18,164 --> 00:36:19,934
I don't know.
621
00:36:19,934 --> 00:36:21,851
But I'm gonna find out.
622
00:36:32,002 --> 00:36:35,507
So you like to throw hamburgers, do you?
623
00:36:43,314 --> 00:36:46,147
Hey, Chuck, where are you going?
624
00:36:52,409 --> 00:36:54,785
The right outfit
should make you feel good
625
00:36:54,785 --> 00:36:57,834
as well as those around
you, it should bring out
626
00:36:57,834 --> 00:37:01,584
the blue in your eyes,
even if they're brown,
627
00:37:03,420 --> 00:37:04,942
I used to think that a new outfit
628
00:37:04,942 --> 00:37:09,307
is as beautiful as a summer's
day, but I was wrong.
629
00:37:09,307 --> 00:37:13,224
A summer's day is as
beautiful as a new outfit.
630
00:37:14,362 --> 00:37:16,445
It's just that important.
631
00:38:07,268 --> 00:38:11,035
♪ Santa baby, you're
looking really grand ♪
632
00:38:11,035 --> 00:38:14,495
♪ now I see you really understand ♪
633
00:38:14,495 --> 00:38:16,354
♪ that's the clothes that make the man ♪
634
00:38:16,354 --> 00:38:19,093
♪ appealing to the missus ♪
635
00:38:19,093 --> 00:38:21,359
♪ you better watch out ♪
636
00:38:21,359 --> 00:38:22,526
There we go.
637
00:38:23,972 --> 00:38:27,125
This is not a barber
shop, I don't see a pole.
638
00:38:27,125 --> 00:38:31,292
It's a salon, that's a
barber shop for cool people.
639
00:38:33,019 --> 00:38:35,257
We don't have to do this,
Mrs. Claus cuts my hair
640
00:38:35,257 --> 00:38:38,596
with a machine, she hooks
up to the vacuum cleaner.
641
00:38:38,596 --> 00:38:40,653
And you wonder why your
marriage is in trouble.
642
00:38:40,653 --> 00:38:43,860
No big deal, she just
puts that nozzle right down
643
00:38:43,860 --> 00:38:44,859
and.
644
00:38:44,859 --> 00:38:47,099
Okay, you are totally grossing me out.
645
00:38:47,099 --> 00:38:48,370
Lindsay, darling.
646
00:38:50,747 --> 00:38:52,910
So I suppose this is the
emergency you called me about.
647
00:38:52,910 --> 00:38:55,017
You called me an emergency.
648
00:38:55,017 --> 00:38:59,974
Not you, Santa, your
hair, you can trust Eduardo,
649
00:38:59,974 --> 00:39:02,974
he specializes in aging celebrities.
650
00:39:04,107 --> 00:39:06,524
Do you think you can do this?
651
00:39:10,149 --> 00:39:11,898
I haven't seen a disaster like this since
652
00:39:11,898 --> 00:39:13,917
Kenny Rogers came in
crying, asking me to remove
653
00:39:13,917 --> 00:39:16,167
the frosting from his tips,
654
00:39:17,791 --> 00:39:21,208
but I suppose I can work
one more miracle, huh?
655
00:39:21,208 --> 00:39:22,866
Follow me.
656
00:39:22,866 --> 00:39:24,616
Hey, get back here.
657
00:40:46,313 --> 00:40:49,730
Now this, this is some of my best work.
658
00:40:57,348 --> 00:40:59,431
I knew you would love it.
659
00:41:01,159 --> 00:41:03,326
But the beard, it must go.
660
00:41:06,740 --> 00:41:10,794
Don't worry, Santa, this won't hurt a bit.
661
00:41:10,794 --> 00:41:11,627
No!
662
00:41:27,743 --> 00:41:31,826
Psst, Lindsay, so what
will it be, rare, medium
663
00:41:32,973 --> 00:41:34,056
or well done?
664
00:41:35,321 --> 00:41:36,238
Crank it.
665
00:41:40,815 --> 00:41:42,278
Ay, everybody.
666
00:41:42,278 --> 00:41:43,278
We're ready!
667
00:41:47,725 --> 00:41:52,209
Signora, it is with great
pleasure that I present to you
668
00:41:52,209 --> 00:41:57,146
the greatest makeover of
them all, senor Santa claus.
669
00:41:58,879 --> 00:42:02,379
Oh my god, for an older man you are hot.
670
00:42:04,915 --> 00:42:07,885
Who knew?
671
00:42:07,885 --> 00:42:11,290
I don't even recognize
myself, we didn't go too far,
672
00:42:11,290 --> 00:42:12,541
did we?
673
00:42:12,541 --> 00:42:15,986
No, trust me, it is way better.
674
00:42:15,986 --> 00:42:18,899
Awesome, Eduardo, thank you.
675
00:42:18,899 --> 00:42:21,821
Any time.
676
00:42:21,821 --> 00:42:24,350
Thank you, thank you very, very much
677
00:42:24,350 --> 00:42:27,147
and a merry, merry Christmas to you.
678
00:42:27,147 --> 00:42:28,647
Merry Christmas.
679
00:42:35,830 --> 00:42:36,747
Shall we?
680
00:42:46,224 --> 00:42:49,302
Makeovers totally dehydrate
me, you feel like a juice
681
00:42:49,302 --> 00:42:50,711
at the food court?
682
00:42:50,711 --> 00:42:54,915
Sure, but I've got something
to do, can I meet you there,
683
00:42:54,915 --> 00:42:57,467
let me take these for you, I'll meet you.
684
00:42:57,467 --> 00:42:58,300
Thanks.
685
00:43:02,973 --> 00:43:03,974
Hi.
686
00:43:03,974 --> 00:43:06,771
Hello, how can I help you today?
687
00:43:06,771 --> 00:43:09,140
You're hoping Santa is
gonna bring you a big bonus
688
00:43:09,140 --> 00:43:10,659
for Christmas, aren't you?
689
00:43:10,659 --> 00:43:12,854
Yes.
690
00:43:12,854 --> 00:43:15,571
Yet I came in a few weeks
ago dressed in my Santa suit
691
00:43:15,571 --> 00:43:20,247
and you laughed at me, don't
you believe in Santa claus?
692
00:43:20,247 --> 00:43:21,080
No.
693
00:43:22,932 --> 00:43:24,099
Big mistake.
694
00:43:26,145 --> 00:43:26,978
Huge.
695
00:43:30,228 --> 00:43:33,557
Those senior hotties were
having, like, major hot flashes.
696
00:43:33,557 --> 00:43:36,197
I am like a fashion genius.
697
00:43:36,197 --> 00:43:37,200
I need a cookie.
698
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:38,283
No cookies.
699
00:43:40,350 --> 00:43:41,433
Oh no, uh...
700
00:43:42,411 --> 00:43:44,457
What's the matter, what are you doing?
701
00:43:44,457 --> 00:43:47,490
What does it look like, I'm
trying to hide behind you.
702
00:43:47,490 --> 00:43:49,560
Would have been easy
to do three weeks ago.
703
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:50,810
Hey, Lindsay.
704
00:43:52,981 --> 00:43:57,148
Oh hi, I didn't see you
there because my uncle Nick
705
00:44:00,636 --> 00:44:02,386
was blocking my view.
706
00:44:03,348 --> 00:44:05,912
This is Anderson, he's
a student at my school.
707
00:44:05,912 --> 00:44:09,651
How do you do, Anderson,
I'm uncle Nicholas.
708
00:44:09,651 --> 00:44:12,453
Nice to meet you, nice threads, man.
709
00:44:12,453 --> 00:44:15,453
Oh, thank you, bling bling, yo yo.
710
00:44:17,619 --> 00:44:21,786
Yeah, cool uncle, um, I
was just getting some gloves
711
00:44:22,987 --> 00:44:27,173
for the ski trip tomorrow,
you know, trying to decide
712
00:44:27,173 --> 00:44:30,979
what to get, five fingered gloves, mitten,
713
00:44:30,979 --> 00:44:35,146
I got the gloves so, I guess
I'll see you up there, yeah?
714
00:44:39,514 --> 00:44:42,181
Yeah, I guess, maybe you will.
715
00:44:45,741 --> 00:44:48,830
Yeah, okay, well, it
was nice meeting you.
716
00:44:48,830 --> 00:44:51,493
- Nice meeting you.
- All right.
717
00:44:51,493 --> 00:44:52,660
See you later.
718
00:44:58,027 --> 00:44:59,415
What did that guy do to you?
719
00:44:59,415 --> 00:45:01,395
Why do you hate him so much?
720
00:45:01,395 --> 00:45:04,133
What, stick to toys,
Santa, you obviously don't
721
00:45:04,133 --> 00:45:05,550
understand women.
722
00:45:07,437 --> 00:45:09,110
Why does he think
you're going on a ski trip
723
00:45:09,110 --> 00:45:10,527
on Christmas day?
724
00:45:11,650 --> 00:45:15,388
Like it's a big deal,
you're just like my parents,
725
00:45:15,388 --> 00:45:18,390
there will be another Christmas
day next year, you know,
726
00:45:18,390 --> 00:45:21,976
this is my one chance
to be alone with a guy
727
00:45:21,976 --> 00:45:26,143
that I have rejected 27
times, this is the payoff.
728
00:45:27,241 --> 00:45:29,074
You really like him?
729
00:45:29,979 --> 00:45:32,755
He is the hottest guy in school.
730
00:45:32,755 --> 00:45:34,442
I didn't ask him if he was
the hottest guy in school,
731
00:45:34,442 --> 00:45:37,109
I asked if you really liked him.
732
00:45:38,184 --> 00:45:39,571
Yes.
733
00:45:39,571 --> 00:45:41,071
I really like him.
734
00:45:42,872 --> 00:45:47,430
So you're planning to
tell him on this trip?
735
00:45:47,430 --> 00:45:48,930
Are you on glue?
736
00:45:50,034 --> 00:45:51,396
I'd sound like I'm a loser.
737
00:45:51,396 --> 00:45:52,695
If he thinks that I'm not that interested
738
00:45:52,695 --> 00:45:54,862
I maintain the upper hand.
739
00:45:55,745 --> 00:45:56,578
You do.
740
00:45:58,122 --> 00:46:01,549
Things are more complicated
with relationships now.
741
00:46:01,549 --> 00:46:04,132
It's all about the game, mmhmm.
742
00:46:08,272 --> 00:46:09,105
Thank you.
743
00:46:10,156 --> 00:46:11,271
Merry Christmas.
744
00:46:11,271 --> 00:46:13,054
Thank you.
745
00:46:13,054 --> 00:46:15,378
When you met your wife,
how did you know she was
746
00:46:15,378 --> 00:46:16,211
the one?
747
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:20,430
Well, I don't know, you just
know those things, I guess.
748
00:46:20,430 --> 00:46:22,329
What do you mean, you just know?
749
00:46:22,329 --> 00:46:24,367
Was she funny, was she hot?
750
00:46:24,367 --> 00:46:26,150
Well, I don't know that
she was any of those things
751
00:46:26,150 --> 00:46:29,265
to anyone else, but she's,
well, she's all I ever needed,
752
00:46:29,265 --> 00:46:30,851
she's all I'll ever need.
753
00:46:30,851 --> 00:46:33,742
Wow, maybe you should tell her that.
754
00:46:33,742 --> 00:46:36,992
Oh, I'm pretty sure she knows that.
755
00:46:36,992 --> 00:46:38,653
Of course, telling
someone that you like them
756
00:46:38,653 --> 00:46:40,403
is for losers, right.
757
00:46:41,650 --> 00:46:43,616
I didn't say that exactly.
758
00:46:43,616 --> 00:46:45,192
Oh yes, that's exactly what you said.
759
00:46:45,192 --> 00:46:46,193
You're confusing me.
760
00:46:46,193 --> 00:46:47,686
No, you're confusing me.
761
00:46:47,686 --> 00:46:49,829
You're willing to hurt your
family by going on a ski trip
762
00:46:49,829 --> 00:46:52,264
so that you can hurt a boy
by pretending that you don't
763
00:46:52,264 --> 00:46:55,371
like him, now I think that's a little...
764
00:46:55,371 --> 00:46:57,522
What, selfish?
765
00:46:57,522 --> 00:46:59,160
Is that what you were gonna say?
766
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:00,160
No.
767
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:01,433
No, I like the way
that you drop that on me
768
00:47:01,433 --> 00:47:04,501
after I spent all of this
time cool-ifying you.
769
00:47:04,501 --> 00:47:08,333
I didn't say that, I
didn't say that at all.
770
00:47:08,333 --> 00:47:10,428
No, that is the last
time I help someone out,
771
00:47:10,428 --> 00:47:13,025
maybe I should only think about myself,
772
00:47:13,025 --> 00:47:15,029
that way I'll never get hurt.
773
00:47:15,029 --> 00:47:17,877
I wish you wouldn't say that, Lindsay.
774
00:47:17,877 --> 00:47:19,927
Merry Christmas.
775
00:47:19,927 --> 00:47:22,076
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
776
00:47:22,076 --> 00:47:23,909
Yeah, good riddance?
777
00:47:30,381 --> 00:47:31,214
Santa?
778
00:47:47,019 --> 00:47:47,852
Claus?
779
00:47:50,109 --> 00:47:51,591
Yes.
780
00:47:58,470 --> 00:48:00,803
Look, we have to focus here.
781
00:48:01,749 --> 00:48:03,905
There's a world of kids
waiting for presents
782
00:48:03,905 --> 00:48:07,426
and I can't hang out in the
mall with you all night.
783
00:48:07,426 --> 00:48:09,926
Okay, this is the real deal?
784
00:48:11,109 --> 00:48:11,942
Yeah.
785
00:48:13,112 --> 00:48:16,784
And this is one of the famous reindeer.
786
00:48:16,784 --> 00:48:17,617
Comet.
787
00:48:18,705 --> 00:48:20,171
But, um...
788
00:48:20,171 --> 00:48:22,380
Aren't there supposed
to be other, you know,
789
00:48:22,380 --> 00:48:27,090
on dasher, on blitzen, on
prancer and Vixen and dancer?
790
00:48:27,090 --> 00:48:30,161
On comet, okay, comet, blitzen, Rudolph,
791
00:48:30,161 --> 00:48:32,252
isn't there a dopey in there too?
792
00:48:32,252 --> 00:48:34,687
The reindeer is for
show, we had to cut back
793
00:48:34,687 --> 00:48:37,378
when their rates went
up, if I fire them all,
794
00:48:37,378 --> 00:48:39,829
I have to deal with the
unions, it's paperwork,
795
00:48:39,829 --> 00:48:41,035
it's a whole thing.
796
00:48:41,035 --> 00:48:42,035
Oh, uh...
797
00:48:46,373 --> 00:48:47,956
Well, you coming?
798
00:48:49,282 --> 00:48:51,115
In your flying sled.
799
00:48:52,753 --> 00:48:54,670
Chance of a lifetime.
800
00:48:57,351 --> 00:49:00,806
Yeah, um, okay, there are
no seatbelts in this thing
801
00:49:00,806 --> 00:49:03,272
which can not be very
safe at high altitudes,
802
00:49:03,272 --> 00:49:05,915
I mean, you don't even
have a cd player in there.
803
00:49:05,915 --> 00:49:08,434
Well, I was hoping
you'd come along with me,
804
00:49:08,434 --> 00:49:12,351
after all you've done for me, I owe you.
805
00:49:12,351 --> 00:49:14,115
Yeah, no, I don't think
I'll be risking my life
806
00:49:14,115 --> 00:49:16,032
in this old rattletrap.
807
00:49:16,931 --> 00:49:18,702
You can make anything fly, right?
808
00:49:18,702 --> 00:49:19,725
More or less.
809
00:49:19,725 --> 00:49:21,351
Uh-huh.
810
00:49:21,351 --> 00:49:25,574
Okay, it's settled then,
grab your bags and follow me.
811
00:49:25,574 --> 00:49:26,789
No way.
812
00:49:26,789 --> 00:49:27,622
Way!
813
00:49:35,043 --> 00:49:37,529
How is possible that gifts
for every kid in the world
814
00:49:37,529 --> 00:49:39,575
fit in the back of my car?
815
00:49:39,575 --> 00:49:42,262
Did they all ask for a pair
of earrings or something?
816
00:49:42,262 --> 00:49:45,475
Ancient Santa secret,
two flips of the right ear
817
00:49:45,475 --> 00:49:47,728
and I shrink everything down.
818
00:49:47,728 --> 00:49:52,307
Oh, that is so cool, what
happens if you flip the left?
819
00:49:52,307 --> 00:49:54,467
Two left flips, and
everything turns into full size
820
00:49:54,467 --> 00:49:57,927
and we're crushed under a
mountain of toys, you ready?
821
00:49:57,927 --> 00:50:00,578
Yeah, as long as I'm back
at Paige's by five in the
822
00:50:00,578 --> 00:50:04,907
morning it'll be cool, I'm going
with them on their ski trip.
823
00:50:04,907 --> 00:50:06,984
Got it, ready?
824
00:50:06,984 --> 00:50:07,817
Yeah.
825
00:50:08,881 --> 00:50:10,798
Um, what are you doing?
826
00:50:12,369 --> 00:50:15,542
I'm driving, I always drive on Christmas.
827
00:50:15,542 --> 00:50:18,233
Yeah, no, I don't remember
my dad's policy covering
828
00:50:18,233 --> 00:50:21,150
Santa claus, you're riding shotgun.
829
00:50:22,002 --> 00:50:24,492
Santa claus riding shotgun.
830
00:50:24,492 --> 00:50:25,909
Yeah, that way.
831
00:50:51,972 --> 00:50:54,222
Comet, I'll see you in the morning.
832
00:50:54,222 --> 00:50:56,139
You're free to graze.
833
00:51:10,864 --> 00:51:14,197
Someone's got some stolen merchandise.
834
00:51:15,432 --> 00:51:18,849
Lindsay deerborne of 1844 rockaway drive,
835
00:51:21,136 --> 00:51:23,386
I feel a banning coming on.
836
00:51:25,724 --> 00:51:28,752
Okay, now explain the
ear flipping thing again?
837
00:51:28,752 --> 00:51:32,262
Well, it's pretty simple,
rules, like morse code,
838
00:51:32,262 --> 00:51:34,139
different combinations
of ear maneuvers cause
839
00:51:34,139 --> 00:51:35,639
different effects.
840
00:51:36,774 --> 00:51:40,054
Two flips on the right
side shrinks presents.
841
00:51:40,054 --> 00:51:41,996
Exactly, and another
example, if I were to pull my
842
00:51:41,996 --> 00:51:44,830
earlobe on the left side
four times, I'd speak perfect.
843
00:51:44,830 --> 00:51:48,663
Cantonese.
844
00:51:54,919 --> 00:51:56,627
How did we get airborne?
845
00:51:56,627 --> 00:51:58,794
Well, we play it by ear.
846
00:52:23,405 --> 00:52:25,359
It's exhilarating, isn't it?
847
00:52:25,359 --> 00:52:26,859
This is awesome.
848
00:52:28,008 --> 00:52:32,074
I can see my house and
my school and Paige...
849
00:52:32,074 --> 00:52:36,612
Oh no, I forgot, I'm supposed
to have dinner there.
850
00:52:36,612 --> 00:52:38,536
Once I was late for the sequel
851
00:52:38,536 --> 00:52:41,188
and she practically
sent out a search party.
852
00:52:41,188 --> 00:52:42,533
There's no signal.
853
00:52:42,533 --> 00:52:44,200
We're too high up.
854
00:52:45,109 --> 00:52:48,526
Hey, this is last year's gift from you.
855
00:52:49,707 --> 00:52:52,299
Funny, I recall asking for better roaming.
856
00:52:52,299 --> 00:52:55,803
It had unlimited evenings and weekends.
857
00:52:55,803 --> 00:52:59,803
I'll call her when we're
back on planet earth.
858
00:53:06,516 --> 00:53:08,958
Linds, I am freaking,
you are over an hour late
859
00:53:08,958 --> 00:53:12,275
for dinner and you turned your phone off
860
00:53:12,275 --> 00:53:14,561
and considering that you
keep it on even during tests
861
00:53:14,561 --> 00:53:18,393
I would say that something is
up, I am calling your father
862
00:53:18,393 --> 00:53:20,408
and if you are there
and you just didn't call
863
00:53:20,408 --> 00:53:23,528
you are so dead, also let me
know if you're gonna bring
864
00:53:23,528 --> 00:53:25,766
your pink baby tee because
I've got to wear it tomorrow
865
00:53:25,766 --> 00:53:27,239
if you aren't going to.
866
00:53:31,002 --> 00:53:33,211
It all started many years ago.
867
00:53:35,704 --> 00:53:37,412
Should've turned this off.
868
00:53:37,412 --> 00:53:39,320
Maybe that's Lindsay.
869
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:40,907
Yeah, maybe it is.
870
00:53:40,907 --> 00:53:43,990
Hello, merry Christmas to you, Paige.
871
00:53:47,362 --> 00:53:50,690
She's not here, I
thought she was with you.
872
00:53:50,690 --> 00:53:52,985
Okay, if she shows up, please call us
873
00:53:52,985 --> 00:53:57,152
and I'll tell her to call you
if she comes home, all right?
874
00:53:58,038 --> 00:54:02,913
No, I haven't seen her
pink baby tee, I gotta go.
875
00:54:02,913 --> 00:54:04,940
What is it, what happened?
876
00:54:04,940 --> 00:54:08,026
Alexa, honey, why don't you and Santa
877
00:54:08,026 --> 00:54:09,463
eat your dessert in the
den and he can finish
878
00:54:09,463 --> 00:54:10,945
telling you his story.
879
00:54:10,945 --> 00:54:13,195
- Okay.
- Thank you, Santa.
880
00:54:21,110 --> 00:54:23,733
Paige hasn't seen Lindsay
since this afternoon.
881
00:54:23,733 --> 00:54:25,397
Oh dear.
882
00:54:25,397 --> 00:54:27,114
Okay, let's not panic.
883
00:54:27,114 --> 00:54:29,057
Okay, maybe she's gone
to someone else's house,
884
00:54:29,057 --> 00:54:30,864
I'll go get her phonebook
and make some calls.
885
00:54:30,864 --> 00:54:35,031
That's a good idea, thank you.
886
00:54:35,910 --> 00:54:36,743
Great.
887
00:54:39,515 --> 00:54:40,848
Ugh, who's that?
888
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:45,698
Evening sir, Chuck lumley, mall security,
889
00:54:45,698 --> 00:54:48,004
sectors one through 14.
890
00:54:48,004 --> 00:54:50,189
Mall security guards don't have badges.
891
00:54:50,189 --> 00:54:53,575
It's my driver's license, so what.
892
00:54:53,575 --> 00:54:54,992
Can I see that?
893
00:55:02,689 --> 00:55:05,938
This is a membership card to blockbuster.
894
00:55:05,938 --> 00:55:09,406
I've never had one late fee, so back off.
895
00:55:09,406 --> 00:55:12,978
I could've gotten my driver
license if I wanted to.
896
00:55:12,978 --> 00:55:16,561
Oh, you're gonna fail
me for that, come on.
897
00:55:17,664 --> 00:55:20,255
Yeah, anyway, those tests
are racially biased.
898
00:55:20,255 --> 00:55:21,559
I have some news about your daughter
899
00:55:21,559 --> 00:55:23,820
and it's a little disturbing.
900
00:55:23,820 --> 00:55:24,820
What is it?
901
00:55:24,820 --> 00:55:28,112
Think it'd be better if we sat down.
902
00:55:28,112 --> 00:55:28,945
Um...
903
00:55:37,010 --> 00:55:40,010
Still no signal, this thing sucks.
904
00:55:41,652 --> 00:55:42,485
Sorry.
905
00:55:43,855 --> 00:55:45,761
Where are we now?
906
00:55:45,761 --> 00:55:47,903
Billy rathman's house.
907
00:55:47,903 --> 00:55:48,893
What'd he ask for?
908
00:55:48,893 --> 00:55:50,496
An x-box.
909
00:55:50,496 --> 00:55:52,192
Whatever happened to baseball gloves?
910
00:55:52,192 --> 00:55:53,357
In order to make toys these days
911
00:55:53,357 --> 00:55:56,327
the elves have to have college degrees.
912
00:55:56,327 --> 00:55:57,541
What are you doing?
913
00:55:57,541 --> 00:55:59,164
I'm going down that chimney.
914
00:55:59,164 --> 00:56:02,841
No way.
915
00:56:02,841 --> 00:56:03,959
What, you don't think I can do that?
916
00:56:03,959 --> 00:56:05,376
I made a car fly.
917
00:56:06,577 --> 00:56:09,212
Okay, true, but this is a chimney,
918
00:56:09,212 --> 00:56:11,545
a dirty filthy narrow chute.
919
00:56:12,397 --> 00:56:13,635
Never had a problem
before, and you might recall
920
00:56:13,635 --> 00:56:16,565
until recently I had a bit more girth.
921
00:56:16,565 --> 00:56:17,935
Well, you coming?
922
00:56:17,935 --> 00:56:22,018
I don't think so, these
pants cost 300 dollars.
923
00:56:23,812 --> 00:56:27,226
Billy rathman needs his Christmas gift,
924
00:56:27,226 --> 00:56:29,559
what's more important, well?
925
00:56:31,293 --> 00:56:34,688
- How nice is this kid?
- Very nice.
926
00:56:34,688 --> 00:56:36,189
Give away one of his kidneys nice
927
00:56:36,189 --> 00:56:38,772
or just does his homework nice?
928
00:56:40,032 --> 00:56:43,199
I think you should see for yourself.
929
00:56:47,020 --> 00:56:49,523
Okay, I'm coming, coming.
930
00:57:01,232 --> 00:57:04,637
Wow, that was so genie in a bottle.
931
00:57:04,637 --> 00:57:07,841
Oh, Christina Aguilera, right?
932
00:57:07,841 --> 00:57:11,440
No, I meant Barbara Eden
in I dream of Jeannie?
933
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:12,857
Jeannie, right.
934
00:57:13,839 --> 00:57:16,271
Look, no black soot on the threads.
935
00:57:16,271 --> 00:57:18,270
Magic does act as sort of
a dry cleaning protectant
936
00:57:18,270 --> 00:57:20,770
and also freshens the clothes.
937
00:57:22,982 --> 00:57:26,232
Hmm, lemony.
938
00:57:30,697 --> 00:57:34,447
Down, I thought this
would be a problem, huh.
939
00:57:37,075 --> 00:57:38,455
I'm not the easter bunny,
you know, that would be
940
00:57:38,455 --> 00:57:40,425
very good with a little
chocolate chips in it,
941
00:57:40,425 --> 00:57:42,258
now for my next trick.
942
00:57:50,214 --> 00:57:52,627
Two flips of the left ear.
943
00:57:56,915 --> 00:57:57,748
Eerie.
944
00:57:59,785 --> 00:58:01,987
Does twitching your nose do anything?
945
00:58:01,987 --> 00:58:04,218
I'm Santa, not Samantha.
946
00:58:04,218 --> 00:58:05,385
Just asking.
947
00:58:07,273 --> 00:58:11,763
Billy must have been a
really good boy this year.
948
00:58:11,763 --> 00:58:13,108
Billy's a very good boy,
949
00:58:13,108 --> 00:58:14,646
you know, there's a picture
of him right over there
950
00:58:14,646 --> 00:58:16,933
on the mantle if you'd
like to look at him.
951
00:58:16,933 --> 00:58:19,599
Are you trying to get rid of me?
952
00:58:19,599 --> 00:58:21,599
No, no, of course not.
953
00:58:29,365 --> 00:58:30,928
He really is adorable.
954
00:58:30,928 --> 00:58:33,345
Well, they're all adorable.
955
00:58:34,485 --> 00:58:36,485
Even the naughty ones?
956
00:58:37,351 --> 00:58:39,563
Those are the ones that break your heart.
957
00:58:39,563 --> 00:58:41,478
You know, there's not a
person on earth I don't want
958
00:58:41,478 --> 00:58:45,610
to see on the nice list,
but some make it very hard.
959
00:58:45,610 --> 00:58:48,193
Some make it almost impossible.
960
00:58:55,725 --> 00:59:00,533
- And that, Mr. and Mrs.
Deerborne is the cold, hard truth
961
00:59:00,533 --> 00:59:01,916
about your daughter.
962
00:59:01,916 --> 00:59:05,247
So let me get this straight,
you saw Lindsay take off
963
00:59:05,247 --> 00:59:09,414
in her own car with stolen
merchandise and some older man.
964
00:59:10,446 --> 00:59:14,497
Yes, and earlier she
threw a hamburger at me.
965
00:59:14,497 --> 00:59:16,266
Lindsay doesn't eat hamburgers.
966
00:59:16,266 --> 00:59:18,487
No, she throws them.
967
00:59:18,487 --> 00:59:21,762
Will you just forget about
the hamburger for a second?
968
00:59:21,762 --> 00:59:23,538
Lindsay's obviously in
some kind of trouble.
969
00:59:23,538 --> 00:59:27,333
Oh, I'd say she's in
trouble, missing Christmas,
970
00:59:27,333 --> 00:59:30,481
hanging out with ne'er
do Wells, at this rate
971
00:59:30,481 --> 00:59:33,880
I'd say she's a prime
candidate for juvenile hall.
972
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:36,480
I wouldn't go that far.
973
00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:40,647
Oh, I've seen it happen,
first they're missing Christmas,
974
00:59:41,621 --> 00:59:44,979
then they're missing their
armed robbery hearing.
975
00:59:49,902 --> 00:59:53,985
Hmm, you may think you
have a sweet daughter now,
976
00:59:56,518 --> 01:00:00,685
but the evil has already
begun, think of your youngest,
977
01:00:02,603 --> 01:00:06,661
what kind of an example is
Lindsay setting for her?
978
01:00:06,661 --> 01:00:08,789
I don't like what I'm hearing.
979
01:00:08,789 --> 01:00:11,952
And I don't like to be
the bearer of bad news
980
01:00:11,952 --> 01:00:15,010
but you're losing your little girl.
981
01:00:15,010 --> 01:00:17,213
Don't you think you're
jumping to conclusions?
982
01:00:17,213 --> 01:00:19,796
I'm just laying it out there.
983
01:00:28,187 --> 01:00:31,270
You need to stay here for this one.
984
01:00:37,565 --> 01:00:38,856
But I need to use the phone.
985
01:00:38,856 --> 01:00:40,918
Shh, not here.
986
01:00:40,918 --> 01:00:43,929
Please, I'll use a calling card.
987
01:00:43,929 --> 01:00:46,218
I need to go in alone.
988
01:00:46,218 --> 01:00:48,714
Why, do you want a cookie?
989
01:00:48,714 --> 01:00:50,214
No, yes, but...
990
01:00:51,877 --> 01:00:54,636
This is Rob bothwell's house.
991
01:00:54,636 --> 01:00:57,371
And that's a problem because?
992
01:00:57,371 --> 01:01:00,625
His son Timmy is a great kid,
993
01:01:00,625 --> 01:01:04,330
but Rob's a tabloid
photographer, he's been trying
994
01:01:04,330 --> 01:01:05,754
to get a picture of me for
years, if he got a picture
995
01:01:05,754 --> 01:01:09,408
of the two of us together,
it'd be very bad.
996
01:01:09,408 --> 01:01:12,025
Oh, yeah, I probably won't
be dating guys your age
997
01:01:12,025 --> 01:01:15,223
until I'm well into my twenties.
998
01:01:15,223 --> 01:01:17,688
Just stay in the car, please.
999
01:01:17,688 --> 01:01:19,313
Got it, Santa.
1000
01:01:20,778 --> 01:01:21,611
Shh.
1001
01:01:55,626 --> 01:01:59,307
Little Robbie bothwell,
to think, I gave you
1002
01:01:59,307 --> 01:02:00,807
your first camera.
1003
01:02:01,981 --> 01:02:02,814
Santa?
1004
01:02:05,860 --> 01:02:09,494
You know that's a great
kid you got in there.
1005
01:02:09,494 --> 01:02:12,259
Yeah, the dentist says he needs braces.
1006
01:02:12,259 --> 01:02:14,342
They're really expensive.
1007
01:02:18,911 --> 01:02:21,828
I think I'd get a second opinion.
1008
01:02:25,816 --> 01:02:27,816
I will, Santa, I will.
1009
01:02:29,264 --> 01:02:30,097
Robbie?
1010
01:02:32,455 --> 01:02:33,538
Hand it over.
1011
01:02:35,226 --> 01:02:38,230
But my vacation photos are on this roll.
1012
01:02:38,230 --> 01:02:41,480
I will send you your vacation photos.
1013
01:02:49,187 --> 01:02:52,650
Do you think I could get double prints?
1014
01:02:52,650 --> 01:02:53,658
Matte or glossy?
1015
01:02:53,658 --> 01:02:54,991
Glossy please.
1016
01:03:16,975 --> 01:03:19,142
Merry Christmas, Robbie.
1017
01:03:22,283 --> 01:03:26,450
Merry Christmas, Santa,
no more pictures, I promise!
1018
01:03:29,261 --> 01:03:31,750
It's too bad you had to see that,
1019
01:03:31,750 --> 01:03:32,973
you can never tell what
people are gonna do
1020
01:03:32,973 --> 01:03:35,634
with their gifts once they're given.
1021
01:03:35,634 --> 01:03:38,186
You just hope for the best.
1022
01:03:38,186 --> 01:03:41,469
I gave William Shakespeare his first pen,
1023
01:03:41,469 --> 01:03:45,632
but I also gave a karaoke
machine to William hung.
1024
01:03:45,632 --> 01:03:48,215
Don't be so hard on yourself.
1025
01:03:49,164 --> 01:03:52,089
You're a pretty amazing guy,
you're like a superstar.
1026
01:03:52,089 --> 01:03:55,760
Oh, I don't know about that, I mean,
1027
01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:59,927
I do give gifts to famous
people, the good ones, at least.
1028
01:04:01,511 --> 01:04:04,264
Wow, so can you tell me which celebs
1029
01:04:04,264 --> 01:04:07,177
are getting lipo and Botox for Christmas?
1030
01:04:07,177 --> 01:04:11,398
Lindsay, you're a little
too hung up on the superficial
1031
01:04:11,398 --> 01:04:14,485
things, you know that, don't you?
1032
01:04:14,485 --> 01:04:15,652
Easy, Santa.
1033
01:04:17,918 --> 01:04:20,094
That was pretty cool how
that guy acted around you,
1034
01:04:20,094 --> 01:04:23,849
though, you gotta like that power, right?
1035
01:04:23,849 --> 01:04:28,750
Robbie's a good man, he
just forgets it sometimes.
1036
01:04:28,750 --> 01:04:32,500
Most people are generally
good, they just get
1037
01:04:33,503 --> 01:04:36,273
scared from time to time.
1038
01:04:36,273 --> 01:04:38,925
What are they scared of?
1039
01:04:38,925 --> 01:04:42,112
Well, same things that scare you.
1040
01:04:42,112 --> 01:04:43,866
Getting a zit on yearbook photo day.
1041
01:04:43,866 --> 01:04:47,765
No, no, they're afraid they'll never have
1042
01:04:47,765 --> 01:04:50,722
enough money, find love,
and then when they find it
1043
01:04:50,722 --> 01:04:54,889
they're afraid they'll lose
their money or lose their love.
1044
01:04:56,573 --> 01:04:58,689
These are pretty powerful
feelings, makes people do things
1045
01:04:58,689 --> 01:05:03,441
they never would ordinarily
do, but when you strip away
1046
01:05:03,441 --> 01:05:06,922
all that fear and see the
real person underneath,
1047
01:05:06,922 --> 01:05:10,589
all they are is love,
when I look at people,
1048
01:05:11,805 --> 01:05:13,305
that's what I see.
1049
01:05:20,923 --> 01:05:22,859
You've earned it.
1050
01:05:22,859 --> 01:05:24,692
Oh, no, I shouldn't.
1051
01:05:27,356 --> 01:05:29,723
Half a cookie couldn't hurt.
1052
01:05:29,723 --> 01:05:30,556
Um...
1053
01:05:32,093 --> 01:05:33,627
Chocolate chip?
1054
01:05:33,627 --> 01:05:34,460
Yeah.
1055
01:05:52,384 --> 01:05:57,384
♪ Once a year the lights come shining ♪
1056
01:05:57,908 --> 01:06:02,908
♪ bells and Carols to remind ♪
1057
01:06:03,701 --> 01:06:08,701
♪ Christmas is a time for giving ♪
1058
01:06:09,472 --> 01:06:14,472
♪ under Christmas trees we find ♪
1059
01:06:15,381 --> 01:06:18,239
♪ we are bringing Christmas wishes ♪
1060
01:06:18,239 --> 01:06:21,268
♪ to all children who believe ♪
1061
01:06:21,268 --> 01:06:24,042
♪ smiling faces show it's better ♪
1062
01:06:24,042 --> 01:06:27,274
♪ to give than to receive ♪
1063
01:06:27,274 --> 01:06:30,306
♪ we believe in ♪
1064
01:06:30,306 --> 01:06:32,565
♪ angels keeping ♪
1065
01:06:32,565 --> 01:06:37,565
♪ children sleeping ♪
1066
01:06:39,745 --> 01:06:41,654
♪ Christmas morning sun comes up ♪
1067
01:06:41,654 --> 01:06:42,653
♪ and we see ♪
1068
01:06:42,653 --> 01:06:46,820
♪ wishes do come true
under the Christmas tree ♪
1069
01:06:49,870 --> 01:06:51,700
Are you sure it was my daughter you saw?
1070
01:06:51,700 --> 01:06:52,783
This can't be happening.
1071
01:06:52,783 --> 01:06:56,049
- Oh it is happening, Mr.
Deerborne, and only you
1072
01:06:56,049 --> 01:06:59,632
can stop it and it has
to happen right now.
1073
01:07:00,711 --> 01:07:02,309
Maybe we can send her
to a private school,
1074
01:07:02,309 --> 01:07:04,799
that way Lindsay can get the
attention that she needs.
1075
01:07:04,799 --> 01:07:07,258
Yeah, but would it prevent
her from coming to the mall
1076
01:07:07,258 --> 01:07:11,200
and hanging out with
significantly older men?
1077
01:07:11,200 --> 01:07:14,373
Not likely, this may come
as a bit of a shock to you
1078
01:07:14,373 --> 01:07:15,956
but I blame myself.
1079
01:07:18,048 --> 01:07:20,080
Why, what did you do?
1080
01:07:20,080 --> 01:07:23,900
That mall is my
responsibility, I let it decay
1081
01:07:23,900 --> 01:07:28,435
into a den of sin and
debauchery where no young person
1082
01:07:28,435 --> 01:07:29,602
is truly safe.
1083
01:07:30,793 --> 01:07:34,288
It has a Starbucks, those are nice.
1084
01:07:34,288 --> 01:07:36,949
I like the movie
theaters, got real butter.
1085
01:07:36,949 --> 01:07:41,116
Thank you for your kind words
but I'm afraid it's too late.
1086
01:07:43,078 --> 01:07:45,959
I think you're exaggerating,
the mall seems fine.
1087
01:07:45,959 --> 01:07:47,126
Oh, does it?
1088
01:07:48,195 --> 01:07:51,945
Why don't you look at
the facts for yourself?
1089
01:07:53,676 --> 01:07:57,278
That is a picture of a
human brain suffering from
1090
01:07:57,278 --> 01:08:00,519
the ravages of excessive
mall air conditioning
1091
01:08:00,519 --> 01:08:03,741
and too many trips to the gap.
1092
01:08:03,741 --> 01:08:07,491
It's a picture of you
dressed up as Tarzan.
1093
01:08:09,283 --> 01:08:12,646
So it is, but the brain
photo is still pretty bad,
1094
01:08:12,646 --> 01:08:16,063
believe me, I sure did have fun that day.
1095
01:08:18,316 --> 01:08:19,661
Can you just tell me what
this has to do with Lindsay
1096
01:08:19,661 --> 01:08:20,755
please?
1097
01:08:20,755 --> 01:08:24,922
Lindsay is not the problem,
the mall is the problem
1098
01:08:26,672 --> 01:08:30,643
and there's only one way you can save her.
1099
01:08:30,643 --> 01:08:33,965
And that's by signing
this contract banning her
1100
01:08:33,965 --> 01:08:36,052
from the mall for life.
1101
01:08:36,052 --> 01:08:37,052
- For life?
- For life.
1102
01:08:38,956 --> 01:08:41,085
We can't do that,
Lindsay loves that mall,
1103
01:08:41,085 --> 01:08:42,473
it's practically her second home.
1104
01:08:42,473 --> 01:08:45,757
No, it's her first home,
so much so that she'd rather
1105
01:08:45,757 --> 01:08:49,340
spend time there than
here with her family.
1106
01:08:52,021 --> 01:08:53,604
He's got a point.
1107
01:08:58,228 --> 01:09:00,665
You're not considering
signing that thing.
1108
01:09:00,665 --> 01:09:02,601
What if we just hear him out?
1109
01:09:02,601 --> 01:09:07,027
I know you love Lindsay,
we all love Lindsay,
1110
01:09:07,027 --> 01:09:09,328
heaven knows I'm gonna
miss her sweet smile
1111
01:09:09,328 --> 01:09:13,349
in the food court but
this mall has put a wedge
1112
01:09:13,349 --> 01:09:15,849
between you and her for years.
1113
01:09:16,951 --> 01:09:18,011
I don't know.
1114
01:09:18,011 --> 01:09:22,567
Think, Mr. Deerborne, of
the time spent not studying,
1115
01:09:22,567 --> 01:09:27,066
insanely high credit card
debt, all the moments
1116
01:09:27,066 --> 01:09:29,948
you could have shared with
her where you lost out
1117
01:09:29,948 --> 01:09:34,115
to a shoe sale, all of that
gone with a few strokes
1118
01:09:35,777 --> 01:09:39,944
of a pen, sign, Mr. Deerborne,
sign and you'll have
1119
01:09:41,824 --> 01:09:43,407
your daughter back.
1120
01:10:00,161 --> 01:10:02,944
This better be Brad Pitt.
1121
01:10:02,944 --> 01:10:04,467
Paige.
1122
01:10:04,467 --> 01:10:06,316
Linds, where are you?
1123
01:10:06,316 --> 01:10:09,018
Fred and I are doing the
whole toys all over the world
1124
01:10:09,018 --> 01:10:11,907
deal, I will be at your place
at five but you have to call
1125
01:10:11,907 --> 01:10:14,144
my parents and tell
them that I'm there now,
1126
01:10:14,144 --> 01:10:15,880
they're already freaked enough
about this whole ski trip
1127
01:10:15,880 --> 01:10:18,650
and this would only make me doubly dead.
1128
01:10:18,650 --> 01:10:22,347
Uh-huh, sure, when you
get to Italy, pick me up
1129
01:10:22,347 --> 01:10:24,980
something from Armani, Kay?
1130
01:10:24,980 --> 01:10:29,240
Don't fall asleep, you have to call them.
1131
01:10:29,240 --> 01:10:33,407
No, I won't fall back asleep,
I'll call them, I promise.
1132
01:10:36,206 --> 01:10:37,039
Bye.
1133
01:10:50,826 --> 01:10:53,763
I don't think I can do this.
1134
01:10:53,763 --> 01:10:55,941
You want your daughter back, don't you?
1135
01:10:55,941 --> 01:11:00,108
Come on, Mr. Deerborne, what's
it gonna be, time at the mall
1136
01:11:00,969 --> 01:11:03,593
or time with your daughter?
1137
01:11:07,321 --> 01:11:09,384
You should see it, I looked so hot,
1138
01:11:09,384 --> 01:11:12,719
with those shoes, I don't think so.
1139
01:11:14,399 --> 01:11:15,982
Excuse me, linds.
1140
01:11:17,559 --> 01:11:19,328
You feel like coming for a walk with us?
1141
01:11:19,328 --> 01:11:22,569
Please, daddy, I am on the phone.
1142
01:11:22,569 --> 01:11:25,328
Just trust me on this,
no, if you wear that
1143
01:11:25,328 --> 01:11:28,653
you might as well get a
t-shirt that says I hate style,
1144
01:11:28,653 --> 01:11:29,824
I'm telling you.
1145
01:11:37,006 --> 01:11:39,738
Hey, hon, wanna catch a movie?
1146
01:11:39,738 --> 01:11:43,228
Sorry, daddy, biggest
sale ever, next weekend,
1147
01:11:43,228 --> 01:11:44,061
I promise.
1148
01:11:50,147 --> 01:11:51,397
Next weekend.
1149
01:12:01,049 --> 01:12:02,317
Lunch is almost ready honey,
I cooked them just the way
1150
01:12:02,317 --> 01:12:03,552
you like them.
1151
01:12:03,552 --> 01:12:07,719
Sorry, daddy, meeting Paige
at the mall, be home at 11.
1152
01:12:10,559 --> 01:12:14,975
Honey, don't take it
personally, she's just being 16.
1153
01:12:14,975 --> 01:12:15,808
I know.
1154
01:12:16,924 --> 01:12:18,756
You want to barbecue?
1155
01:12:18,756 --> 01:12:20,107
- Hmm.
- Do it.
1156
01:12:20,107 --> 01:12:22,524
At least I won't burn them.
1157
01:12:23,381 --> 01:12:26,964
I'm not burning them, put another one on.
1158
01:13:01,660 --> 01:13:03,369
If you'd like to
make a call, please hang up
1159
01:13:03,369 --> 01:13:06,397
and try again, if you need
help, hang up and then dial...
1160
01:13:37,494 --> 01:13:38,327
Sign it.
1161
01:13:53,006 --> 01:13:56,817
Hey, phone calls can
wait, your daughter can't.
1162
01:13:56,817 --> 01:13:57,817
Hello, Paige?
1163
01:13:57,817 --> 01:13:59,565
Hey, come on, Paige, goodbye.
1164
01:13:59,565 --> 01:14:00,398
Shh.
1165
01:14:02,594 --> 01:14:06,190
Oh, thank god.
1166
01:14:06,190 --> 01:14:10,975
Oh, thank you so much for calling, Paige.
1167
01:14:10,975 --> 01:14:13,347
No, I haven't seen the baby tee, bye.
1168
01:14:13,347 --> 01:14:14,347
What?
1169
01:14:14,347 --> 01:14:17,005
Well, that was Paige,
apparently Lindsay got there
1170
01:14:17,005 --> 01:14:20,176
hours ago and she just fell asleep.
1171
01:14:20,176 --> 01:14:22,867
That is not true, she's lying, sign it
1172
01:14:22,867 --> 01:14:24,617
you blithering idiot.
1173
01:14:26,384 --> 01:14:27,217
Honey.
1174
01:14:53,964 --> 01:14:56,131
You get off my property.
1175
01:14:58,176 --> 01:15:02,589
When I prove I'm right,
you'll come crawling to sign.
1176
01:15:02,589 --> 01:15:06,589
This isn't over, this
isn't over by a long shot.
1177
01:15:13,011 --> 01:15:15,792
All right, here we
are, our last delivery.
1178
01:15:15,792 --> 01:15:17,572
You mean the last one before my sister's.
1179
01:15:17,572 --> 01:15:19,899
Yes, last one before your sister's.
1180
01:15:19,899 --> 01:15:21,393
We can use the front door there,
1181
01:15:21,393 --> 01:15:24,497
this whole chimney thing
is way too Mary poppins.
1182
01:15:24,497 --> 01:15:26,554
So what did you get Alexa?
1183
01:15:26,554 --> 01:15:28,053
That's between me and her.
1184
01:15:28,053 --> 01:15:29,625
Did you get her that trendy purse?
1185
01:15:29,625 --> 01:15:30,868
She's only six.
1186
01:15:30,868 --> 01:15:32,829
Well, it was worth a try,
1187
01:15:32,829 --> 01:15:36,050
so why'd you save this
place, it's not that close
1188
01:15:36,050 --> 01:15:38,680
to my house, there
something special about it?
1189
01:15:38,680 --> 01:15:40,473
Does Ashton kutcher live here?
1190
01:15:40,473 --> 01:15:43,069
No, they're all equally special to me.
1191
01:15:43,069 --> 01:15:44,569
So why end here?
1192
01:15:45,892 --> 01:15:48,112
Who's the present for?
1193
01:15:48,112 --> 01:15:51,171
Little boy, Scotty Caldwell.
1194
01:15:51,171 --> 01:15:52,671
Scotty Caldwell?
1195
01:15:54,233 --> 01:15:56,400
Anderson's little brother?
1196
01:15:59,416 --> 01:16:01,516
We are at Anderson Caldwell's house?
1197
01:16:01,516 --> 01:16:03,792
Well, technically the
house belongs to Todd
1198
01:16:03,792 --> 01:16:08,110
and Cynthia Caldwell, Anderson
is their son so in fact
1199
01:16:08,110 --> 01:16:10,193
he does live here, ready?
1200
01:16:11,457 --> 01:16:14,271
Has all the cookie dough
gone directly to your brain?
1201
01:16:14,271 --> 01:16:16,301
I am not going in there.
1202
01:16:16,301 --> 01:16:19,438
Well, I'd thought you'd
like to see where he lives.
1203
01:16:19,438 --> 01:16:21,422
If I wanted to see where
he lived, I would have gone
1204
01:16:21,422 --> 01:16:23,965
on one of the dozens
of times he invited me.
1205
01:16:23,965 --> 01:16:25,473
Why didn't you?
1206
01:16:25,473 --> 01:16:29,306
I was picking my moment,
and this is not it,
1207
01:16:30,253 --> 01:16:33,674
my moment is on the ski trip,
I have it all planned out.
1208
01:16:33,674 --> 01:16:35,977
I can see that you do.
1209
01:16:35,977 --> 01:16:40,102
You're not scared are you,
I mean, I've seen it before.
1210
01:16:40,102 --> 01:16:43,016
Before I gave babe Ruth
his first baseball bat
1211
01:16:43,016 --> 01:16:45,568
do you know he was actually
scared of the ball?
1212
01:16:45,568 --> 01:16:46,592
Can you imagine that?
1213
01:16:46,592 --> 01:16:48,163
I am not scared.
1214
01:16:48,163 --> 01:16:50,666
Well, what's the problem?
1215
01:16:50,666 --> 01:16:53,194
A semester's worth of playing hard to get
1216
01:16:53,194 --> 01:16:54,228
and I end up breaking into his house
1217
01:16:54,228 --> 01:16:55,412
though the chimney?
1218
01:16:55,412 --> 01:16:57,396
You'll be fine.
1219
01:16:57,396 --> 01:17:01,900
If he wakes up and sees me,
oh, you are so dead, Santa.
1220
01:17:01,900 --> 01:17:03,596
I know, I know, way dead.
1221
01:17:11,779 --> 01:17:14,150
Anderson's stocking, oh,
that is the cutest thing ever.
1222
01:17:14,150 --> 01:17:17,400
I wish I had something to put in there.
1223
01:17:24,601 --> 01:17:27,434
Well, you can't beat fresh breath.
1224
01:17:30,521 --> 01:17:35,115
Wow, they're like some
form of genetically perfect
1225
01:17:35,115 --> 01:17:36,115
superhumans.
1226
01:17:37,837 --> 01:17:40,391
- They're a very nice family.
- Our kids are
1227
01:17:40,391 --> 01:17:42,133
gonna be gorgeous.
1228
01:17:42,133 --> 01:17:43,974
Don't you think you should
have at least one date with him
1229
01:17:43,974 --> 01:17:46,343
before planning a family?
1230
01:17:46,343 --> 01:17:48,565
A girl can dream, right?
1231
01:17:49,769 --> 01:17:51,141
What was that?
1232
01:18:03,773 --> 01:18:05,071
Is it Anderson?
1233
01:18:05,071 --> 01:18:05,904
Mmhmm.
1234
01:18:07,411 --> 01:18:09,133
What's he wearing?
1235
01:18:09,133 --> 01:18:11,859
Pajama bottoms.
1236
01:18:31,819 --> 01:18:33,569
That was too close.
1237
01:18:36,564 --> 01:18:38,064
Beam me up, Santa.
1238
01:19:13,928 --> 01:19:16,128
What took you so long,
I am in cardiac arrest
1239
01:19:16,128 --> 01:19:18,614
over this stop already.
1240
01:19:18,614 --> 01:19:20,765
Come on, you didn't like it?
1241
01:19:20,765 --> 01:19:23,938
Okay, it wasn't terrible.
1242
01:19:23,938 --> 01:19:26,271
I loved it, okay, satisfied?
1243
01:19:28,862 --> 01:19:30,245
He's cute, right?
1244
01:19:30,245 --> 01:19:32,164
Everybody's cute.
1245
01:19:32,164 --> 01:19:33,494
Are you ever gonna
give me a straight answer
1246
01:19:33,494 --> 01:19:35,374
on someone's looks?
1247
01:19:35,374 --> 01:19:38,993
I think you are very
cute, straight enough?
1248
01:19:38,993 --> 01:19:40,575
That'll do.
1249
01:19:48,747 --> 01:19:51,359
Well, I fulfilled my end of the bargain,
1250
01:19:51,359 --> 01:19:54,646
every nice kid in the world
is gonna wake up smiling.
1251
01:19:54,646 --> 01:19:56,968
It's a pretty nice feeling isn't it?
1252
01:19:56,968 --> 01:20:00,159
Yeah, now for my reward, later today,
1253
01:20:00,159 --> 01:20:02,063
when I'm sitting by the fire at the chalet
1254
01:20:02,063 --> 01:20:03,619
and Anderson looks longingly into my eyes
1255
01:20:03,619 --> 01:20:05,794
and moves in to kiss me
with the fresh breath
1256
01:20:05,794 --> 01:20:08,794
that I provided I know I am entitled
1257
01:20:09,640 --> 01:20:11,774
to every glorious minute.
1258
01:20:11,774 --> 01:20:15,610
Very nice, first, we
need to make one more stop,
1259
01:20:15,610 --> 01:20:18,776
you haven't forgotten
your sister, have you?
1260
01:20:18,776 --> 01:20:21,871
I haven't, but Paige's family
leaves in like 10 minutes.
1261
01:20:21,871 --> 01:20:24,545
Couldn't you drop me off first?
1262
01:20:24,545 --> 01:20:27,698
A detour by your house
will only take a second,
1263
01:20:27,698 --> 01:20:29,752
Paige is just across the street.
1264
01:20:29,752 --> 01:20:34,007
If I miss my ride, do you
know who has to take me?
1265
01:20:34,007 --> 01:20:35,007
Greyhound?
1266
01:20:36,144 --> 01:20:38,561
Don't even joke about that.
1267
01:20:39,626 --> 01:20:41,825
Now listen, I don't want any arguments,
1268
01:20:41,825 --> 01:20:44,915
we are going to do this
the old fashioned way,
1269
01:20:44,915 --> 01:20:47,809
on solid ground, the last
thing I need is for Paige's
1270
01:20:47,809 --> 01:20:50,487
family to see us coming in for a landing.
1271
01:20:50,487 --> 01:20:53,627
Put your hands back on the wheel.
1272
01:20:53,627 --> 01:20:55,710
I like the sleigh better.
1273
01:20:58,514 --> 01:21:01,606
Someday, someday the rain is gonna come,
1274
01:21:01,606 --> 01:21:02,979
the rain is gonna come
and it's gonna wash away
1275
01:21:02,979 --> 01:21:06,243
the pain, the pain of the sidewalk sales,
1276
01:21:06,243 --> 01:21:09,381
the crappy mall fashion shows
and little kiddies crying
1277
01:21:09,381 --> 01:21:11,464
'cause he lost his mommy.
1278
01:21:15,777 --> 01:21:16,777
What the...
1279
01:21:29,138 --> 01:21:32,205
This is lumley heading up
operation teenage wasteland,
1280
01:21:32,205 --> 01:21:35,061
we have an unmarked vehicle
parked after mall hours
1281
01:21:35,061 --> 01:21:37,394
taking up eight spots, copy.
1282
01:21:42,250 --> 01:21:44,000
This is lumley, copy.
1283
01:21:48,106 --> 01:21:51,345
Mall security never sleeps,
it is a 24 hour thrill ride
1284
01:21:51,345 --> 01:21:54,124
through the pits of your
soul, it is a pride swallowing
1285
01:21:54,124 --> 01:21:56,912
journey of self discovery
and an endless grind
1286
01:21:56,912 --> 01:22:00,648
to the mind and body,
it is not for the lazy,
1287
01:22:00,648 --> 01:22:03,119
it is not for the weak!
1288
01:22:07,571 --> 01:22:09,738
Come on, guys, it's Chuck.
1289
01:22:20,221 --> 01:22:22,877
Okay, this one is for the top lock,
1290
01:22:22,877 --> 01:22:24,363
this one is for the bottom.
1291
01:22:24,363 --> 01:22:27,782
What, you're not gonna do it yourself?
1292
01:22:27,782 --> 01:22:31,083
Why not, you did such
a good job all night.
1293
01:22:31,083 --> 01:22:33,319
That was different, those were...
1294
01:22:33,319 --> 01:22:35,254
Strangers, all the more
reason this should be
1295
01:22:35,254 --> 01:22:39,122
even easier for you, there's
not even a remote chance
1296
01:22:39,122 --> 01:22:41,757
that you'll be breaking or entering.
1297
01:22:41,757 --> 01:22:43,646
I know what you're trying to do.
1298
01:22:43,646 --> 01:22:46,441
You expect me to go in there
and take one look at my house
1299
01:22:46,441 --> 01:22:47,790
and then I'll start
thinking about my family
1300
01:22:47,790 --> 01:22:50,531
and get all touchy and feely
and then not want to go
1301
01:22:50,531 --> 01:22:52,448
on the ski trip, right?
1302
01:22:53,768 --> 01:22:54,919
Guilty as charged.
1303
01:22:54,919 --> 01:22:58,854
That is so lame,
hello, do you even know me?
1304
01:22:58,854 --> 01:23:01,727
I just finished delivering
toys to kids around the world.
1305
01:23:01,727 --> 01:23:04,995
There is no chance that anybody
can say that I am selfish.
1306
01:23:04,995 --> 01:23:06,830
I earned that trip.
1307
01:23:06,830 --> 01:23:08,344
Then there should be no
problem with you delivering
1308
01:23:08,344 --> 01:23:10,844
these presents to your sister.
1309
01:23:12,651 --> 01:23:17,385
Fine, I'll go, but when
I come back and tell you
1310
01:23:17,385 --> 01:23:20,890
that I'm still going on that
trip, you'll drop it, right?
1311
01:23:20,890 --> 01:23:22,390
Sure, I promise.
1312
01:24:24,089 --> 01:24:25,089
Lindsay!
1313
01:24:28,899 --> 01:24:29,732
Hey.
1314
01:24:31,896 --> 01:24:32,916
You're home.
1315
01:24:32,916 --> 01:24:37,083
Yeah, Santa asked me to
put your gift under the tree.
1316
01:24:38,045 --> 01:24:40,465
You're my gift under the tree.
1317
01:24:40,465 --> 01:24:42,048
What do you mean?
1318
01:24:43,167 --> 01:24:46,164
I told Santa I wanted
you home for Christmas
1319
01:24:46,164 --> 01:24:47,164
and you are.
1320
01:24:50,389 --> 01:24:53,222
That's what you asked Santa for?
1321
01:24:54,980 --> 01:24:55,813
Oh.
1322
01:25:29,812 --> 01:25:31,890
Don't you say anything.
1323
01:25:31,890 --> 01:25:34,814
I wasn't gonna say anything.
1324
01:25:34,814 --> 01:25:37,162
Ski pants make me look too heavy anyway.
1325
01:25:37,162 --> 01:25:37,995
What?
1326
01:26:28,973 --> 01:26:29,993
So.
1327
01:26:31,261 --> 01:26:33,086
Had a good time stealing
with a teenage girl,
1328
01:26:33,086 --> 01:26:34,836
you sick twisted man?
1329
01:26:36,458 --> 01:26:39,756
You better watch out,
you're talking to Santa claus.
1330
01:26:39,756 --> 01:26:41,049
Little chuckie lumley?
1331
01:26:41,049 --> 01:26:43,357
Can it, freak show, right
now the goods are probably
1332
01:26:43,357 --> 01:26:47,524
on a ship to Honduras, little
black market toy ring, huh?
1333
01:26:48,618 --> 01:26:50,951
The only boy who was
never on Santa's list
1334
01:26:50,951 --> 01:26:53,225
no matter how much I wanted him to be.
1335
01:26:53,225 --> 01:26:56,079
The Chuck wagon don't
care about Santa's list
1336
01:26:56,079 --> 01:26:58,162
and you want to know why?
1337
01:26:59,228 --> 01:27:02,061
Because Santa claus doesn't exist,
1338
01:27:03,138 --> 01:27:05,422
but I do exist and I got a list of my own
1339
01:27:05,422 --> 01:27:08,722
and you're both on it, it's
a little something I like
1340
01:27:08,722 --> 01:27:11,889
to call banned from the mall for life.
1341
01:27:17,279 --> 01:27:20,529
How you like them burgers, man!
1342
01:27:22,796 --> 01:27:25,629
Yo, that suit be cracking, dawg.
1343
01:27:26,591 --> 01:27:27,591
Thank you, dog.
1344
01:27:27,591 --> 01:27:28,873
It's so good, thank you for hooking me up
1345
01:27:28,873 --> 01:27:31,389
with the burgers, I got your back, claus.
1346
01:27:31,389 --> 01:27:34,056
Yo guys, this one's got ketchup.
1347
01:27:35,460 --> 01:27:37,293
Ma'am, stop, please.
1348
01:27:39,726 --> 01:27:41,138
Alyson?
1349
01:28:01,615 --> 01:28:03,292
It's been quite a journey
but the north pole awaits.
1350
01:28:03,292 --> 01:28:06,257
When are we gonna hang out again?
1351
01:28:06,257 --> 01:28:09,032
Well, there's always next Christmas.
1352
01:28:09,032 --> 01:28:12,288
Lindsay, thank you for all
the advice and cool clothes.
1353
01:28:12,288 --> 01:28:14,724
Oh please, all that letting me change you
1354
01:28:14,724 --> 01:28:17,017
from the outside in?
1355
01:28:17,017 --> 01:28:18,317
The whole time you were showing me that
1356
01:28:18,317 --> 01:28:22,308
change only comes from the inside out.
1357
01:28:22,308 --> 01:28:24,028
You're a good girl.
1358
01:28:24,028 --> 01:28:25,995
You're a good guy, Santa.
1359
01:28:25,995 --> 01:28:28,406
For what it's worth, fashion sense or not,
1360
01:28:28,406 --> 01:28:31,965
Mrs. Claus is very lucky to have you.
1361
01:28:31,965 --> 01:28:34,268
Thanks for saying that.
1362
01:28:34,268 --> 01:28:36,022
Well, it's been real.
1363
01:28:38,584 --> 01:28:40,121
Comet, shall we go?
1364
01:28:43,243 --> 01:28:45,961
And don't ever forget about cupid.
1365
01:28:45,961 --> 01:28:48,544
I won't, believe me, I won't.
1366
01:28:55,345 --> 01:28:56,178
Giddy up!
1367
01:29:19,177 --> 01:29:21,260
Merry Christmas, Santa.
1368
01:29:22,824 --> 01:29:25,074
Merry Christmas, Lindsay.
1369
01:29:38,391 --> 01:29:40,558
And to all a good night.
1370
01:29:47,873 --> 01:29:49,607
I'm glad you're home, linds.
1371
01:29:49,607 --> 01:29:50,940
Me too, daddy.
1372
01:29:54,232 --> 01:29:56,044
Who could that be, you
didn't expect anybody, did you?
1373
01:29:56,044 --> 01:30:00,304
Would I ever invite someone
over on Christmas day?
1374
01:30:00,304 --> 01:30:03,304
It's family time, don't you know me?
1375
01:30:05,116 --> 01:30:06,651
Why don't you go see who it is?
1376
01:30:06,651 --> 01:30:08,002
Okay.
1377
01:30:08,002 --> 01:30:08,835
Thanks.
1378
01:30:22,557 --> 01:30:23,390
Hi.
1379
01:30:24,808 --> 01:30:25,891
Hey, linds.
1380
01:30:26,898 --> 01:30:28,231
I got your note.
1381
01:30:29,461 --> 01:30:30,961
I'm sorry, what?
1382
01:30:32,784 --> 01:30:35,388
You didn't get one of
my friends to plant a note
1383
01:30:35,388 --> 01:30:37,097
in my stocking?
1384
01:30:37,097 --> 01:30:39,097
Uh, no, what's it say?
1385
01:30:46,702 --> 01:30:49,923
Dear Anderson, if you're
willing to skip the ski trip
1386
01:30:49,923 --> 01:30:52,514
you can come and watch a
movie with me and my family
1387
01:30:52,514 --> 01:30:55,807
on Christmas day, I know I've
been rude and insensitive
1388
01:30:55,807 --> 01:30:58,825
in the past but that was
only because I have trouble
1389
01:30:58,825 --> 01:31:03,173
admitting my feelings,
it also said something
1390
01:31:03,173 --> 01:31:07,340
about how you care way too much
about clothes, love Lindsay.
1391
01:31:08,641 --> 01:31:10,474
I didn't write that!
1392
01:31:13,530 --> 01:31:15,658
Okay, I guess the joke's
on me then, I'm sorry.
1393
01:31:15,658 --> 01:31:16,491
Wait.
1394
01:31:18,718 --> 01:31:19,551
What?
1395
01:31:20,807 --> 01:31:21,640
Uh...
1396
01:31:22,927 --> 01:31:27,198
What I mean is I didn't
write it by myself.
1397
01:31:27,198 --> 01:31:28,781
A friend helped me.
1398
01:31:30,104 --> 01:31:30,937
I...
1399
01:31:33,501 --> 01:31:34,418
I like you.
1400
01:31:37,980 --> 01:31:40,449
I like you too, okay, but
you got to help me out because.
1401
01:31:50,877 --> 01:31:54,377
Come on in, the movie's already started.
1402
01:32:23,326 --> 01:32:25,076
Hi honey, I'm home.
1403
01:32:27,037 --> 01:32:27,870
Darling.
1404
01:32:29,215 --> 01:32:30,798
Is that really you?
1405
01:32:31,975 --> 01:32:35,225
I might ask the same question of you.
1406
01:32:36,882 --> 01:32:39,415
Oh my, seems as though
we've gotten each other
1407
01:32:39,415 --> 01:32:40,582
the same gift.
1408
01:32:41,545 --> 01:32:44,818
Matching Christmas makeovers?
1409
01:32:44,818 --> 01:32:47,985
Aren't we just the cutest couple ever?
1410
01:32:49,443 --> 01:32:50,887
Shall we dance?
1411
01:32:50,887 --> 01:32:52,044
No way.
1412
01:32:52,044 --> 01:32:52,877
Way.
1413
01:32:54,259 --> 01:32:55,618
♪ Santa baby ♪
1414
01:32:55,618 --> 01:32:57,534
♪ you really understand ♪
1415
01:32:57,534 --> 01:32:59,503
♪ that it's the clothes
that make the man ♪
1416
01:32:59,503 --> 01:33:01,990
♪ appealing to the missus ♪
1417
01:33:01,990 --> 01:33:06,496
♪ you better watch out
for all those kisses ♪
1418
01:33:30,094 --> 01:33:31,857
♪ Living in the north pole ♪
1419
01:33:31,857 --> 01:33:34,136
♪ how could he understand ♪
1420
01:33:34,136 --> 01:33:37,434
♪ that life without snow could
be something really grand ♪
1421
01:33:37,434 --> 01:33:40,762
♪ and all of us who've
never seen a real reindeer ♪
1422
01:33:40,762 --> 01:33:44,583
♪ know green's the color
of Christmas cheer ♪
1423
01:33:44,583 --> 01:33:46,511
♪ the lawn may need mowing ♪
1424
01:33:46,511 --> 01:33:48,250
♪ but all the grass that's growing ♪
1425
01:33:48,250 --> 01:33:51,331
♪ but Christmas is cooler this year ♪
1426
01:33:51,331 --> 01:33:54,026
♪ cool Christmas ♪
1427
01:33:54,026 --> 01:33:59,026
♪ too cool for Christmas ♪
1428
01:33:59,318 --> 01:34:02,524
♪ I'm asking Santa baby for
a Christmas that's brimming ♪
1429
01:34:02,524 --> 01:34:04,049
♪ with lots of colored lights ♪
1430
01:34:04,049 --> 01:34:06,179
♪ and all the trees
with all the trimming ♪
1431
01:34:06,179 --> 01:34:09,702
♪ I'm asking Santa claus for
a Christmas that's cool ♪
1432
01:34:09,702 --> 01:34:13,932
♪ singing Christmas Carols
'round the swimming pool ♪
1433
01:34:13,932 --> 01:34:16,953
♪ cool Christmas ♪
1434
01:34:16,953 --> 01:34:20,630
♪ cool, cool Christmas ♪
1435
01:34:20,630 --> 01:34:24,141
♪ too cool for Christmas ♪
1436
01:34:24,141 --> 01:34:27,849
♪ too cool for Christmas ♪
1437
01:34:27,849 --> 01:34:29,591
♪ the globe may be warming ♪
1438
01:34:29,591 --> 01:34:31,347
♪ and honey bees are swarming ♪
1439
01:34:31,347 --> 01:34:34,732
♪ but Christmas is cooler this year ♪
1440
01:34:34,732 --> 01:34:37,440
♪ cool Christmas ♪
1441
01:34:37,440 --> 01:34:42,208
♪ too cool for Christmas ♪
1442
01:34:42,208 --> 01:34:45,616
♪ I'm asking Santa baby for
Christmas that's brimming ♪
1443
01:34:45,616 --> 01:34:47,496
♪ with lots of colored lights ♪
1444
01:34:47,496 --> 01:34:49,575
♪ an all the trees with all the trimming ♪
1445
01:34:49,575 --> 01:34:53,089
♪ I'm asking Santa claus for
a Christmas that's cool ♪
1446
01:34:53,089 --> 01:34:56,830
♪ singing Christmas Carols
round the swimming pool ♪
1447
01:34:56,830 --> 01:35:00,303
♪ cool Christmas ♪
1448
01:35:00,303 --> 01:35:03,873
♪ cool, cool Christmas ♪
1449
01:35:03,873 --> 01:35:07,383
♪ too cool for Christmas ♪
1450
01:35:07,383 --> 01:35:11,297
♪ too cool for Christmas ♪
1451
01:35:11,297 --> 01:35:12,967
♪ since you've been getting nearer ♪
1452
01:35:12,967 --> 01:35:14,675
♪ the world's been getting clearer ♪
1453
01:35:14,675 --> 01:35:17,651
♪ and Christmas is cooler this year ♪
1454
01:35:17,651 --> 01:35:20,893
♪ cool Christmas ♪
1455
01:35:20,893 --> 01:35:25,460
♪ too cool for Christmas ♪
1456
01:35:25,460 --> 01:35:29,127
♪ I'm asking Santa baby for
a Christmas that's brimming ♪
1457
01:35:29,127 --> 01:35:30,507
♪ with lots of colored lights ♪
1458
01:35:30,507 --> 01:35:32,766
♪ and all the trees
with all the trimming ♪
1459
01:35:32,766 --> 01:35:36,348
♪ I'm asking Santa claus for
a Christmas that's cool ♪
1460
01:35:36,348 --> 01:35:40,125
♪ singing Christmas Carols
'round the swimming pool ♪
1461
01:35:40,125 --> 01:35:43,490
♪ cool Christmas ♪
1462
01:35:43,490 --> 01:35:48,490
♪ cool, cool Christmas ♪
1463
01:35:49,930 --> 01:35:52,680
♪ fa la la la la ♪
102974
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