All language subtitles for zxcvbn,jh2020

[ Drumroll ]

[ Electricity Crackles ]

[ Chattering ]

Ten million dollars
for the missile chip.

Not a plan,
but the chip itself.

Why the big price?

My clients have requested it.

I honor my clients'
request.

Sounds like your clients
want to build a missile that
can't be detected by radar.

I don't ask questions,
Mr. Beaupre,

but whoever possesses
this chip...

could dominate
the entire region.

Good night, George.
Good night, Mr. Cooper.

[ Brakes Squeal ]

- [ Electronic Twitter ]
- Jesus.

He's clean.
Here.

Uh, that's, uh--
[ Clears Throat ]
That's what you asked for.

Air Force N.S.B. 100
"C" series.

If that goes in a missile,
air defenses can't stop it.

Uh, look.
I got a plane to catch.

Where's my money?

[ Beaupre ]
Here. Hide it in the toy car.

We'll slip it right past
airport security.

Let's go.

[ Beeping ]

Please remove your jewelry
and place it in the bowl.

My jewelry?
Yes, ma'am.

Step back.

[ Beeping ]

Let's go.

[ Gasps ]
Ma'am, you'll
have to wait. Please.

[ Woman ]
I'm sorry. I didn't know.

[ Woman #2 ]
That's it. Everything.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Next, please.
Thank you.

Next, please.
Thank you.

[ Chattering ]

Oh, my God.

[ Woman Chuckles ]

[ Girl ]
It's cold in here.

[ Woman ]
They're on time. On time.

[ Girl ]
Yeah. There's my dad.
Move.

Move!
[ Girl ]
Oh, my God. There's Amy.

Young man!

I checked the Dallas, Miami,
New York and Denver lounges.
Nothing.

Bars, restaurants,
club lounge-- clean.

When I was in the john,
I didn't see anything
in there.

It has to be on a plane.

We are going to Chicago.

In the winter?

[ Exhales ]
I packed tropical.

[ Man On P.A. ]
Welcome to Chicago, where it's
a balmy 29 degrees outside.

[ Woman ]
Welcome to Chicago.
[ Woman #2 ] Bye. Thanks.

Bye now. Thank you.

Welcome to Chicago.

Bye-bye.
Bye.

Welcome to Chicago.

[ Grunting ]

Here you go, sir.

[ Man ]
Thanks.

- Mr. Beaupre!
- Mr. Unger and Mr. Jernigan.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Move.
[ Beaupre ]
Out of my way.

[ Horn Honks ]
Did you check any bags, ma'am?

No. Floor it.
[ Horn Honks ]

She's leaving.

Hey!

[ Beeping ]

[ Beeping ]
[ Shutter Clicking ]

[ Electronic Chirping ]

[ Chimes ]
[ Chuckles ]

That's him.

Excuse me, pop.
Can I ask you somethin'?

What?
You had a fare from
the airport around 1620 hours,

January 8.

Senior citizen.
Female. Caucasian.

What?
About 4:30 today.
Old broad.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
You got an address on that?

W-- Well, North Devon Park.
Uh, Washington Street.

Describe the house, please.

Well, big, old,

uh, Tudor-like place.

- Details.
- Christmas lights.
Wreath on the door.

Christmas tree
at the end of the driveway.

And the driveway
was the only one on the block
that wasn't shoveled.

[ Grunts ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Doorbell Rings ]

I'm all done, Mrs. Hess.

I'm exhausted and sweaty,
but you can't see 'cause
I'm all covered up.

You were supposed to
deal with the snow promptly,
weren't you?

- Yes, but--
- Butts are for ashtrays.

I don't care for excuses.
We had an understanding,
and you broke it.

Your word is worthless.
Sorry. That'll be
no charge, Mrs. Hess.

So you can tell
the neighborhood I stiffed you
on a snow removal job?

Mm-mmm.

Oh. Is this a loaf
of the famous San Francisco
sourdough bread?

This won't make a very tasty
sandwich, will it?

- Huh?
- Some silly, inconsiderate
boob who took my bag--

I left my bread
in San Francisco.

Pardon me, Mrs. Hess,
but I think
I'm almost, maybe,

possibly, probably
gonna be late for my dinner.

Consider this your payment.
I have no use
for the silly thing.

Thank you.
And have your mother
teach you...

that it is rude
to scratch yourself
in the presence of a lady.

[ Gasps ]

Good night, Alex.
[ Sighs ]

[ Door Closes ]
Geez. What a grouch.

They're all old.
Most of them are Tudor.

They all have wreaths
and old Christmas trees.

And the snow's
all been shoveled.

There are 14 houses.

The toy car must be
in one of them.

We're going to have to
search them all.

We'll come back
when it's light.

We're gonna work houses
in broad daylight?

It's the suburbs,
Mr. Unger.

Nobody's home during the day.

�� [ Rock ]
� Whoa, whoa �

� You know, I'm almost grown �
� Whoa, whoa �

� And I'm doing all right
in school �
�� [ Men Vocalizing ]

- � They said I broke no rules �
- �� [ Vocalizing ]

- � I ain't never
been in Dutch �
- �� [ Vocalizing ]

There you go, Speedy.

- � Don't bother me
Leave me alone �
- �� [ Vocalizing ]

� Anyway, I'm almost grown ��
�� [ Vocalizing ]

�� [ Continues ]

[ Gasps ]

�� [ Ends ]

Charlie, we went
through this last year.

I told you then,
I'm telling you now.
I can't work weekends.

Why not?
I've got three kids
and a husband.

Mary Lou does.
Well, that's Mary Lou.
She has no life.

It means nothing to her
to work weekends.
But I can't do that.

Come on, Karen.
I'm living in a house
that's half renovated.

My kids have activities.
They need to see their
parents doing something...

other than running
to the car in the morning.

I can't really explain
over the phone why we're so
excited about this product.

[ Man ]
Okay. But you'll be here
on Wednesday.

Right. I'll be in Cleveland
on Wednesday.
Yeah. Wednesday.

And we'll talk about it then,
face to face.
Man to man.

Yeah. Man to man.
All right.

�� [ Speakers: Rock ]

� When I'm anxious
and restless �

� I guess that's what
it's like to be young �

� When I'm anxious
and restless �

� I guess that's
what it's like to be young ��

� All I wanted was a skateboard
but all I got was �

� All I wanted was a skateboard
but all I got was �
[ Ball Bouncing ]

� All I wanted was a skateboard
but all I got was �

� All I wanted was a skateboard
but all I got was �
[ Squawks ]

� This stupid ��

[ Squawks ]
Your brother's bug.
Your brother's bug.

Careful. Careful.

[ Squishes ]
Oh.

Hmm.
Bull's-eye.

Three from downtown.

And the crowd
goes wild.

Oh, man.

I hope they're not--

[ Gasps, Screams ]

Alex slammed the toilet seat
down on his thing again.

Bull's-eye.

Alex? What happened?

I had nothing to do with this.
I'm innocent.

Yeah. I-- I gotta go.
My kid slammed the toilet
seat on his thing again.

Huh?
I'll call you back.

All right.
Alex?

Keep that in your mouth.
Mm-hmm.

Chicken pox.
Mom, with all due respect,

this is a scam to get out of
having to turn in his science
project because his bug died.

- What?
- His face doesn't
look that bad.

- His body is covered.
- Would that include
his buttock region?

- Shut up!
- This is great.

If he scratches
his chicken spots,
we could call him Scar Butt.

- [ Karen ]
Leave.
- [ Father ] Good-bye.

I'll go make you some soup.

I'll bring the TV up
from the family room.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Hey. Don't scratch.

Keep that under your tongue.
I'll be right back.

Nice family.
Huh, Doris?

[ Squeaking ]

�� [ Rock ]

� Up in the morning
and out to school �
[ Chattering ]

Take off. You guys
should get going.
See you later, Dad.

� American history
and practical math �

� You study 'em hard
and hopin' to pass �

� Rock, rock, rock and roll �

� The feeling is there
Body and soul �
[ Rings ]

� Ring, ring
goes the bell ��

Mr. Greenfield's 401k
is invested in the EAFA fund.

You have it listed
in the mid-cap fund.
[ Ringing Continues ]

That's where your 3,000
shortfall is.
[ Man ] Oh. Okay.

Okay?
So you're gonna
make it up next quarter.

Bruce, can I--
I just have to
put you on hold. One sec.

Alex. I'm on with the office.
[ Ringing Stops ]

So I think that what we--
[ Ringing Resumes ]

I'm really sorry, Bruce.
Can I just call you back
in a minute? Thanks.

�� [ TV: Dance ]
[ TV: Woman Speaking,
Indistinct ]

Three, two. Now hold.

- And. Let's--
- [ Laughs ]
Gotcha.

You rang?

Thirsty?

Thanks, Mom.

[ Woman ]
Oh. Here we are.

I do wish that my husband
could have been here today.

Well, it's a cozy
little place.
Oh!

Well, isn't this charming?

And it's available
immediately.

My boys are just
gonna love it here.

Yes, they will.

[ Man On TV ]
Plus special care and feeding
tips next onsPets on Parade.

[ Squeaking ]

Look, Doris.

[ Squeaks ]

[ Squeaking ]

If you think that was amusing,
wait till you see
what I do next.

Oh, yeah.

[ Woman ]
This is a very important piece.

�� [ Pop ]

Hmm?

�� [ Man Vocalizing ]

� Experimental �

[ Chuckles ]

[ Electronic Chirping ]

[ Beeps ]
[ Camera Shutter Clicks ]

[ Camera Shutter Clicking ]

[ Whirs ]

[ Electronic Trill ]

[ Growls ]

[ Barks ]

Sit.
I can't wait for next week.

I hate dogs.

Charlie, we've been over
all this. You know I can't
come in. Alex is sick.

Billing just called.
He's on his way in
to review his portfolio.

Oh, God. You're kidding.
No.

How long is he in town?
He's leaving Friday.

[ Exhales ]
You know we can't--

No, that's okay.
Mary Lou can handle it.
She can access--

Mary Lou is not who
he expects to see.
You're the point person.

No--
Look. You gave me your word
you could handle this.

I know I promised you.
But my child wasn't sick
when I promised you. There's--

It's not my fault
you can't find
a babysitter.

Okay, fine. One hour.
I can come in for one hour.
That is it.

Fine.
If Alex beeps me, I'm gone.

You can fire me if you want to,
but I'm gone.
Karen--

And, Charlie, I just
want you to know that you're
putting me in the position...

of having to choose between
making a house payment and
taking care of my sick child,

and I really
don't appreciate it.
Karen--

Jerk.

Sh-- Okay.

Did you tell Charlie
that I'm desperately ill?

Thank you, Alex.

Yes. Charlie knows
you're sick.

What about
the Family Leave Act?

I just have to go in and
pick up some stuff and sign
some papers and show my face.

I'll be gone an hour
at the very most.

I called Mrs. Hess
and told her you'd be alone,
and she--

You called Mrs. Hess?
She knows I'm gonna be alone?

She said if anything comes up,
she'll be right over.
She wasn't happy about it, but--

She could get tanked up
on iced tea and come over
and make me smoke cigarettes.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.
What do I do
if there's a tornado?

They don't happen in winter.
Social unrest?

I don't think so.

Boredom?
I hear it's deadly
in old folks.

Good-bye, sweetie.

What about crooks?

I don't think
that's a problem
during the day, honey.

Why not?
Nobody's home during the day.

I'm only eight,
and I figured that out.

Don't you think a grown-up crook
could figure it out too?

This is a very
safe neighborhood.

There's only one road
in and out of here.

The doors will be locked.
You have all my numbers.

- I'll be home as soon as I can.
- But, Mom!

What about dragons,
giant spiders, mummies,

the living dead
and other figments
of my imagination?

Alex, I can't help you there.

Only you can control
your imagination.

That's a scary thought.

[ Electronic Chirping ]

[ Beeping ]

[ Beeps ]

[ Barks ]

Hmm.

That's weird.

Oh, my God!

[ Gasps ]

Twenty seconds out.

Clear.

[ Beeping ]

- 911 emergency.
- I saw a burglar.

- Are you by yourself?
- My mom just had to run out
for a few minutes.

- I have the chicken pox.
- Can I have your address,
please?

The guy isn't at my house.
He's at the Stephans'.

Their address is
3015 Washington Street!

[ Beeping ]

[ Siren Wailing ]

[ Sliding Door Closes ]

- [ Sliding Door Closes ]
- Nothing.

[ Sirens Wailing ]

There's a burglar
in the Stephans' house!
What?

I saw him with my telescope.
There's a woman with a dog
and a gray van...

and a man
in running clothes.

I didn't recognize anybody
but the dog.

He looked just like
Johnny Allen's dog.
So I called the police.

[ Sirens Wailing ]
You called the police?

[ Sirens Stop ]
[ Man ]
Take the back.

[ Man #2 ]
Yes, sir.

[ Man #1 ]
Cover me!

[ Alarm Beeping ]

- Freeze!
- [ Whimpers ]

[ Whines ]

[ Vehicle Departing ]

The burglar alarm
was on and working.

There was no one in the house.

It doesn't appear that
anything's been taken.

I don't know what
your boy saw, but...

there wasn't a person
in that house.

[ Sighs ]

I-I'm very sorry about this.
My son's been home
with the chicken pox,

and I just had to run to work
to pick up some papers.

I'm completely strapped.
I don't normally do this.

Son, false alarms
are no joking matter.

It wasn't a false alarm.
There was a guy in the house.

He had two lookouts
and a driver in a gray van.

He's been running a fever.

You might want to remind him
that ours is serious business.

Oh. He knows.

We gave him a police set
for Christmas.

N-Not this Christmas,
but last Christmas.

You know, one of those--
A badge and a hat and a whistle.
He took it very seriously.

He went around the house
arresting relatives
for various crimes.

Oh, you know, not real crimes.
Just sort of leaving the toilet
seat up and snoring and--

Absolutely. I will.
Yes. Thank you.

Thank you.

[ Police Radio Chatter ]

- [ Car Door Closes ]
- [ Engine Starts ]

[ Car Door Closes ]

You get in that bed,
young man.

Excuse me, but I saw a man
in Karen Stephans's bedroom.

A white male,
a little older than Dad,

and he was wearing
butt-inspection gloves.

I have warned you about
that telescope. You look
through it long enough,

you're gonna start
seeing things, whether
or not they're there.

I guess you have to be 35
before anyone around here
listens to you.

Don't get smart with me, Alex.

Sick or not,
I am very angry with you.

You have caused
a lot of trouble today.

Dad and I have to replace a door
at the Stephans'. Do you think
we're happy about that?

I saw what I saw.

[ Man ]
Peter Beaupre,

Earl Unger,
Burton Jernigan...

and Alice Ribbons.

They were ticketed
under known aliases...

but didn't board
the Hong Kong flight.

I believe they're
still in the U.S., but
beyond that... I don't know.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we've got to find that chip.

[ Alice ]
What went wrong
with the burglar alarm?

Nothing.
It wasn't the alarm.

Then who called the police?

Mr. Jernigan,
care to speculate?

[ Alice ]
Cars came and went.
The mailman came by.

We could have a watcher
on any house in any street.

- It could be anybody.
- I don't think
it's just anybody.

I think it's someone
on our street.

Someone we are not tracking.

Someone we've missed.

- [ Horn Honks ]
- Dad, cab's here.

Oh, shoot.
Your mom's not back yet.

Well, all right.

Your mom had to take
some documents to the bank.

She can't be gone
more than a few minutes.

Mrs. Hess is home.
You'll be fine, okay?

My beeper number's
on speed dial on the telephone.

Second button.
Mom's on the first button.

Right. Yeah.
So, you're okay?

"Positutely."

All right.
Give me a kiss.
All right.

Dad.

Alex, this is a very safe
and secure neighborhood.

We have great police,
as you learned yesterday.

- Nothing bad is gonna
happen to you. Okay?
- Dad.

Yeah?
Got your tickets?

- Yep.
- Got your wallet?

Yeah. It's in my pocket.

Where's your pocket?

Yeah.

Thank you.
Bye, Dad.

[ Gasps ]

[ Clicks ]

She's leaving.

[ Engine Starts ]

[ Exhales ]

3025 is all clear.
Red sedan heading south.

Turning right. Hold.

[ Gasps ]

[ Beeps ]

[ Pager Beeping ]
[ Groans ]

Hi.
Hi.

You are just in time,
Mr. Pruitt.
[ Pager Beeping ]

Wait, wait.
Wait, wait. Oh, no.

[ Sirens Wailing ]

Yes.

[ Sirens Wailing ]
[ Gasps ]

- Abort. Abort.
- Evacuate the area.
I'm on my own.

[ Engine Starts ]

[ Siren Wailing ]

[ Sirens Stop ]
Let's go!

Move! Move!

[ Shouts ]

Cover it!

Cool.

Okay. Come on.

[ Children Chattering ]

Nothing.

Let's check upstairs.

[ Chattering ]

So, uh,
where's the burglar?

There is no burglar.

Just a kid
home sick from school
makin' false alarms.

How embarrassing.

Mm-hmm.

[ Children Laughing,
Chattering ]

[ Man ] Son, this is
the second time in two days
that you've called the police.

It's a very serious matter
when a person calls the police.

I saw a burglar yesterday,
and I saw a burglar today.

Alex, listen
to the chief.

There was no one
in that house.

What about Johnny Allen's dog?
I talked to Johnny last night.

His dog was kidnapped
on Monday morning.

- Did he see it happen?
- [ Karen ]
Alex,

apologize to the chief
and go up to your room.

Excuse me
for being a good citizen.

Alex!

I-I'm very sorry.
This will not happen again.

Will it, honey?
Really, I promise you.

Well, we wouldn't want
to discourage him
from calling us, uh,

in the event that something
real ever does happen.

[ Parrot Cackling ]

Loser.

- Shut up.
- Make me.

Now that you've pranked
the cops twice, it goes
on your permanent record.

For the rest of your life,
if you call for help,
it won't come.

Dad missed his plane.
He was late for a meeting
with his boss.

We have to fork over
much-needed family cash
to the Stephans...

and to an evil octogenarian
so they can have
their doors repaired.

And even worse--

The world laughs, Alex.

You've stained
the family name.

[ Parrot Cackles ]

[ Alex ] First the Stephans,

then Mrs. Hess.
[ Squeaking ]

I agree, Doris.
The next stop
is the Alcotts' house.

What kind of a burglar
goes into a house
and doesn't take anything?

Do you know what I think?
I think they're looking
for somethin' special.

And they're lookin' in
everybody's house 'cause
they don't know who has it.

[ Exhales ]
The question is... what is it?

If nobody's gonna
do anything about this,

I'll just have to
do it myself.

- [ Dog Barks ]
- [ Gasps ]

I am so sorry.

- I'm clearly not awake.
- It's all right.

[ Dog Panting ]
Have a nice day.

I'll try.
Mm-hmm.

[ Dog Whimpers ]

[ Staticky TV Reception ]

Watch this, Doris.

[ Squeaks ]

[ Whirring ]

[ Whirring ]

[ Whirring ]

Hmm?

Hmm.

- [ Meows ]
- Look, Doris.

[ Squeaks ]

Boo!

[ Screeches ]

[ Squeaking ]

Oh. I forgot about
the stairs.

[ Squeaks ]

[ Whirring ]

Hmm.

Got him, Doris.
Got him.

Oh, yes.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

You are so busted.

- Ah!
- [ Screams ]

[ Squeaks ]

I have it--
the toy car.

- It's videotaping me.
- Huh?

What?

Come back
on that last message.

[ Shouts ]

[ Groans ]
Ow! Oh!

[ Growls ]

Come on.
Go, go, go, go, go!

Don't spin! Don't spin!

[ Panting ]

[ Gasps ]

You there.
Huh?

Now, you was friendly to me.
I don't have to kill you.

- [ Man #2 ] You got money
doesn't belong to you.
- Now, you back off.

-This ain't
none of your business.
-All right. Drop the saddlebags.

[ Beeping ]

[ Phone Rings ]
[ Gasps ]

[ Line Ringing ]

[ Snoring ]

Bring-bring!

[ Squawks ]
Hello. This is Karen.

Hi. How's it goin'?

Uh-huh. Yeah,
I'm runnin' late
for the office again.

I-I think blue chips
are overvalued.

Technology stocks
would be good.

Technology stocks.

Listen, hon.
I'm in the shower.
Can I call you back?

� Bad, bad Leroy Brown �

� Baddest cat
in the whole damn town �

� Badder than old King Kong �

� Meaner than a junkyard dog ��

Come on, come on,
come on, come on.

See ya!

Oh!

[ Grunting ]

The car's outside.
I got a woman in the house.
Get over here!

Come on! Get up!

[ Panting ]

- [ Grunting ]
- [ Gasps ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Screaming ]

Ow! Ooh!

[ Gasps ]

Shoot!

[ Clicks Tongue ]
Everybody's in a hurry.

It's a video camera.
Someone's onto us.

Do you think it really matters?
Chip's in the car.

We're at the airport
in 45 minutes.
Where's Alice?

[ Rattling, Crash ]

What happened?

There is a woman in the house.
I'll go back in
and deal with her.

Get the chip.

- [ Clicks ]
- Hmm.

[ Screams ]

Yes!

I got it.

Ma'am, may I have
a word with you?

Don't come in.
I'm naked.

What's on your mind,
monkey butt?

Come on. Come on.

What's that funky smell?

- I lost it!
- What?

Come on.
Go, go, go!

[ Panting ]

- It's going out of range!
- I got it.

[ Shouts ]

[ Groans ]

I see it.

Look out.

[ Screams ]

Jernigan, which direction?

It got past me.
It's heading south on Adams.

But I'm right behind
the little--

[ Car Door Closes ]

It's off the street,
going through backyards,
heading west.

Alice, what's your position?

[ Grunting ]

Fourth house,
moving to the alley.

I see it!
It's going through the hedge.

- Jernigan, position?
- You're there.

- I got it!
- I got it!

- [ Shouts ]
- [ Gasps ]

[ Groans ]
[ Both Thudding ]

Unger, what's your position?

Heading to Washington Street.

I didn't copy. Where?

I said I'm heading to Wa--

Stop, you nitwit!

[ Groans ]

I don't see anything.

I'll look around.

[ Exhales Deeply ]

I don't have it yet.

- [ Squeaking ]
- We're out of time.
Give it up.

[ Gasps ]

They got the tape.
Why'd they still
chase the toy car?

It's not that expensive.

I'm sure they don't have
enough time to play with it.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Hmm.

Look, Doris.
[ Squeaks ]

Computer chip, huh?
Where'd you find it?

I found it in a remote control
car that I got for shoveling
snow for Mrs. Hess.

She lives across
the street from us.
It says U.S. Air Force on it,

but you have to look
under a magnifying glass
in order to see it.

Kid, a lot of toys
have "Air Force"
written on it.

This is a recruiting office,
son. We don't handle
matters like this.

Can I give you the number
on the chip and you can
call the right guys?

[ Exhales ]

Do you think we should
tell Mom about the chip?
[ Squeaks ]

Yeah, I guess you're right.
The less they know the better.

Those guys are bad news.

I can't tell you how much
I appreciate you hitting me
with the minivan.

Never let your emotions
get the best of you.

You weren't paying attention.
You should have been
more vigilant.

You should have taken
driver's ed.

[ Slams Chair ]
It's a kid.
It has to be a kid.

I'm gonna have bad knees
when I'm old, and I'll have
Burton Jernigan to thank.

The cops come twice.
They don't believe the kid.

He takes matters
into his own hands.
It can't be anything else.

If that's the case,
I say take no chances.

Tomorrow, whack every kid
in the neighborhood.
Burn 'em all.

Then look for that stupid car.

My thoughts keep
turning to number 3026.

It's within the operating
radius of the toy car.

It's on the sight lines
of all the houses
I've been in.

[ Rings ]

[ Ringing Continues ]

[ Beeps ]

Hello?
Do you have
the missile chip?

- We are close.
- If I don't have the chip
in 24 hours, Mr. Beaupre,

I will have no choice
but to terminate
the mission...

and nullify
all the participants.

You understand,
don't you?

Guys, Dad's home tomorrow night.
Now, I have my quarterly client
meeting from noon till 5:00,

so I need you and Molly to come
straight home after school...

to stay with Alex
until Dad gets home.
I can't.

No way. Impossible.
I have gymnastics.

- I have hockey.
- Do I need to repeat myself?

Well, I thought
you were putting the bite
on Mrs. Hess to watch Alex.

- Yeah. She's a lot more
responsible than me and Stan.
- Mrs. Hess is a backup.

Unless there's an emergency,
I really don't want to
have to call her.

I'll be fine by myself.

Well, there you have it.
It's settled.

Alex, could you pass me
the false alarms?

- [ Phone Rings ]
- Excuse me. I'm sorry.
I meant the peas.

Ho, ho.
[ Karen ]
Hello?

Oh, hi. Uh-huh.

Yeah. He's been home
with the chicken pox. Oh.

- Alex, do you know
a Bradley Clovis?
- Yeah.

This is his mother on the phone.
Did you take a toy car from him?

No, he has one of those...

remote control cars,
but he got it from
the woman across the street.

We have it.

Alex, what is the matter
with you? You don't
disconnect one of my calls.

Don't talk to
Mrs. Clovis, please.
Why not?

She's dangerous.
Dangerous? Honey,
what are you talking about?

It was lies.
They're all lies.

It wasn't her.
Honey, what do you mean
it wasn't her?

[ Exhales ]

Call her back.
I think you'll be surprised.

[ Beeping, Modem Static ]

[ Beeping ]

Outgoing call.

[ Typing ]

[ Beeps ]

Rerouted.

[ Rings ]
[ Clears Throat ]
Hello. Clovises.

Hi. I beg your pardon.
We just--

Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I disconnect you,
Karen?

No, no. It was me.
We're-- We're renovating.
The phone lines are a mess.

[ Gasps ]
They intercepted the phone call.

Listen. I didn't mean
to accuse your son.

I'm certain Bradley
just misplaced his toy car.

[ Karen ] Isn't that the way
they are? They lose something,
they assume it's been stolen.

Little boys do have
wild imaginations,
don't they?

Yes, they do.

They're gonna come
after me tomorrow, Doris.

Nobody will listen.

Not my parents
or Molly or Stan...

or the police
or the air force.

Nobody. So, what do I do?

- [ Squeaking ]
- If that means hide,
you're wrong.

[ Squeaking ]

If that means fight,
you're right.

[ Exhales ]
They'll understand
when I'm done.

They'll know
I was tellin' the truth.

I'm not gonna cry
or feel sad or scared.

They're grown-ups,
and they're criminals,

but this is my neighborhood,
and this is my house.

And no matter how old they are,
no matter how big they are,

they can't beat me here.

They can't beat me at home.

�� [ Pop ]

[ Whirring ]

[ Whirring ]

[ Squawks ]
Oh.

Ooh, wanna buy
a little silence?

Double or nothin'.

[ Squawks ]

[ Snoring ]

� Where are we going
Where are we going �

� Home again
Home again �

- � We're home �
- � We're home again �

� We're home �

� Where are we going
Where are we going �

� Home again
Home again �
[ Whirring ]

- � We're home �
- � We're home again �

� We're home �

� Where are we going �

� Home again
We're home again �

� We're home again ��

We're watching
a major snowstorm...

that's bearing down
on the Chicagoland area.

As you take a look at the latest
radar, you can see the snow's
increasing in intensity.

Heavy snow is in the forecast,
and residents are urged
to stay indoors if possible.

[ Squeaks ]

[ Murmurs ]

[ Panting ]

Approaching target.
All clear.

Here we go, Doris.

- [ High-pitched Whistle ]
- [ Whimpers ]

[ Barking ]
Whoa! No! Stop!

- [ Barking Continues ]
- First we free the hostages.

[ Alice ]
Switching on the fiber optics.

[ Static Crackles, Squeals ]

[ Dog Barking ]

- [ Doorbell Rings ]
- [ Karen ] Alex, can you
get the door, please?

- [ High-pitched Whistle ]
- No answer.

[ Whining ]

Are we certain
target has not left?

- Negative.
We would have seen that.
- [ Whistle Blows ]

[ Whimpers ]

[ Whimpering Continues ]

I repeat: There is
no movement inside.

- Permission to enter.
- [ Whistle Blows ]

Huh?
[ Screams ]

No!
[ Screaming Continues ]

[ Screaming Continues ]
Whoa!

[ Barking ]

- Alice?
- [ Spits ]

[ Spitting ]

Hey! Go home. Go home!

[ Barking ]

All right.

[ Loud Ripping ]
[ Gasps ]

I need assistance.
I'm exposed.

Maintain your position.

Do not-- I repeat:
Do not draw attention
to yourself.

[ Grunts ]

Pick her up. We'll move in
after the storm hits.

We'll let Mother Nature
cover our tracks.

Sir, this just came in
from the air force.

Some kid named Pruitt
called a recruiting
office in Chicago.

Said he found
a computer chip
in a toy car.

We're going to Chicago.

Did you watch
the weather for me?

Yep. No problems.
Your coat's over there.

Oh, thanks. I want
to wear my brown one.
Wait!

Why don't you go
fill your commuter cup
with yummy hot coffee,

and I'll get
your coat for you?

Thanks, hon.

I'll make you a sandwich.
[ Sighs ]

Here's your coat.
Thanks.

Oh, sweetheart, I am
so sorry about this week.

It breaks my heart to have
to come and go like this.
It shouldn't be this way.

It's okay.
It's not you.
It's the times.

Thanks, hon.

You have your beeper?
Yep.

Great.
[ Beeps ]

I'll call
every half hour.

I'll go on line with you
and keep the connection
open all day.

I'll have my laptop with me
at all my meetings.

We'll be in contact
at all times.

Plus, I have my cellular,
and you've got
my fax number.

We're wired.
Mmm.

Oh, my gosh.
Did Mrs. Clovis call?
Mmm.

She was gonna stop by
before I left...

to confirm that
Bradley's name wasn't
on the remote control car.

She stopped by when you
were in the shower.

- Did you let her have it?
- Big time.

- I hope she felt foolish.
- It was painful.

Okay. Be good.

Be safe. Keep an eye
on the old place.

I got it all covered.

Mmm!

[ Door Closes ]

Here we go, Doris.
It's just you and me.
[ Squeaking ]

You mean
there's someone else?

Get ready to rumble!
Play ball!

�� [ Rock ]

[ Man ]
� This is my town �

� Watch your step
if you come around �

� I don't think I know you �

� Well, maybe it's time
to show you �

� This is my home �

� I'll be
standing here alone �

� And if you're ready
to see hell �

� Come on in
and ring the bell �

� Hello, Mr. Hip �

� Finally you got your hit �

� Coming from the nowhere
Sliding cross the clover �

� Hello, lady slick �

� Did you pull another trick �

� Beautiful makeover
Make the perfect cover �

� Didn't you know �

� Things don't come easy, so �

� This is my town �

� Watch your step
if you come around �

� And if you're ready
to see hell �

- � Come on in and ring �
- [ Squawking ]
The old switcheroo.

� The bell �

� Yeah �
[ Grunting ]

- Come on.
- It's showtime!

[ Squawks, Wolf Whistles ]
If those are real, I'm an eagle.

� Perfect stranger
Rearranger �

� I think we're
in super danger �

Block the street.
� This is my town �

� Watch your step
if you come around �

� And if you're ready
to see hell �

� Come on in
and ring the bell �
[ Whirring ]

� Ring the bell
Ring the bell �

� Ring the bell �

� Come on in, come on in �

� Come on in, come on in
Come on in, come on �

� Come on in, come on in
Come on in, come on in �

� Come on in, come on ��

[ Rings ]

Hello.
Hi, Mrs. Hess.
It's Karen Pruitt.

Could you possibly
look in on Alex for me?
I'm just going out.

Oh, I'm at work.
I'm really in a bind.

Oh. Well? How long?

Well, i-it wouldn't be for
more than an hour or so.

All right.
No cooking.

[ Sighs ]

"Call Mrs. Hess.

Well, she's retired.
What else could she
possibly be doing?"

[ Mutters ]
Babysitter.

Do they invite me into their
house for a holiday eggnog?
Well, of course not!

Look who woke up
from her nap.

Crooks at 30 yards
and closing.

Let the party begin.

Good afternoon.
My husband and I have just
moved into your neighborhood.

What do you want,
a Wilkie button?

A package was to be delivered,
but the driver got confused.
Perhaps he brought it here.

Nope. They didn't
bring anything here.

The delivery company
said that no one
answered the door...

and the driver left it
in the garage.

[ Mrs. Hess ]
Sometimes they leave stuff
at the backdoor.

Why are you
closing the door?

I left my heart
in San Francisco.

[ Door Slams Closed ]

Looks like the little rug rat
has the place
locked up pretty tight.

[ Electricity Crackling ]
[ Laughing ]

Jernigan, I think
I'm gonna enjoy this.

It's been a long time
since I was a kid.

You forget how incredibly
stupid they are.

Now, you be careful.
Sometimes when kids get scared,
they wet their pants.

[ Sustained Shout ]

[ Blubbering ]

Oh!
[ Exploding ]

[ Shouts ]

Yeow!
[ Groans ]

[ Screaming ]

Eee! Yaah!

[ Sighing ]

- Mr. Unger.
- [ Groaning ]

[ Squealing ]
Oh! Oh!

Oh!

[ Groans ]
[ High-pitched Voice ]
I'm all right.

[ Sizzling ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Explosion ]
[ Screams ]

[ Clattering ]

[ Quiet Growling ]

[ Angry Shout ]

[ Blubbering ]

[ Screams, Groans ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Whimpering ]

Mr. Unger,
what are you doing?

Don't touch the yarn.
It's wired.

The kid's got the place
booby-trapped.

Make no assumptions.

- Watch the welcome mat.
- This boy is clever.

- Have you tried the door?
- Uh, not yet.

Let me point something
out to you.

- [ Wood Creaking ]
- Missed that.

Stand clear.

[ String Pings ]

Maybe he's not
so clever after all.

[ Unger ]
Yeah, I-I just think
we're having an off day.

[ Both Gasping,
Screaming ]

[ Groaning ]

A thought for you
to consider:

At airport security,

make sure you have
the right package.

[ Whimpers ]

I certainly hope
that you're not fond...

of that little boy
across the street.

[ Muffled Gasp ]
[ Kisses ]

[ Muffled Grunting ]

I'll leave this open.

- [ Grunts ]
- Fresh air will be
good for you.

[ Sizzling ]

Ow. Oh. Oh!
[ Groans ]

You think you're smart,
you little brat.
[ Grunts ]

[ Sighs ]
Unger, what's your status?

Unger! Unger?

[ Material Ripping ]

Whoo! Hwah!

[ Metal Squeaking ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Whooping ]

[ Blubbering ]

[ Groans ]

Heads up.

How did that happen?
I don't know.

- [ Groans ]
- [ Metal Clangs ]

[ Bodies Thud ]
Ouch.

[ Both Groaning ]

[ Both Grunting ]

You got hit with a book?

Books. Plural.
A trunk full of books.

Then a set of weights.
We got hit twice,
you dumb broad.

Excuse me, Mr. Unger.
I didn't get taken down
by an infant.

[ Beaupre ]
We didn't anticipate the defense
the boy would mount.

I'll go in the front.

Mr. Unger,
you take the north side.
Alice, you take the south side.

Where is Mr. Jernigan?

[ Gasping ]

Oh.

[ Gasping ]

[ Man ]
� Oh, the weather outside
is frightful �

� But the fire
is so delightful �

� And since we've
no place to go �

� Let it snow, let it snow
Let it snow ��

[ Woman On P.A. ]
Attention, travelers.

All flights to Chicago
continue to be delayed
due to severe weather.

Please stand by
for further details.

[ Drill Whirring ]

Oh! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!

[ Grunting ]

- Hi.
- [ Whimpers ]

[ Screaming, Grunts, Groans ]

[ Grunting ]

You can run, but you
can't hide, junior.

- Surprise.
- [ Gasps ]

[ Screams ]

What a loser.

[ Grunts ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Pot Clattering ]
[ Groans ]

Ah! Huh.

[ Groaning ]

Ugh. Eww.
[ Grunting ]

[ Gagging, Coughing ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Blows ]

I got him!

[ Gasps ]

Huh!
[ Growls ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Grunting ]

Whoa!

[ Gasps, Screams ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Gasps ]

Huh?
[ Panicked Gasping ]

[ Chuckling ]

Ohh!

[ Tool Whirring ]

[ Clock Ticking ]

[ Doll Crying ]

[ Shotgun Cocking ]

You are dead, kid.

[ Gasps ]
Ugh!

[ Stifled Groaning ]

Whoa.

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts Echoing ]

[ Sighs, Grunts ]

[ Angry Grumbling ]

[ Groans ]

[ Gasps ]

Now things
are lookin' up!

- [ Gasps ]
- Gotcha!

- Whoa!
- See ya.

[ Screaming ]

[ Coughing ]

Ugh. Yuck.

Steady. Yeah.

[ Gasps ]

[ Alice ]
Well, well, well.

Nice try, kid.

[ Screaming ]
Oh! Oh.

[ Sizzling ]

[ Static On Earpiece ]

[ Fart Sound ]
[ Gasps ]

[ Groans ]
[ Bones Crack ]

Ooh! Whee-yah!

[ Grunts ]

Hmm.

[ Screaming ]

[ Crashing ]
[ Alice Grunts ]

[ Screaming ]
[ Crashing ]

Alice?
[ Gasps ]

- [ Screaming ]
- [ Screaming ]

- [ Groans ]
- [ Blubbering ]

I'm coming down!
[ Screams ]

Aah!

[ Babbling ]

[ Screams ]

Aah!

[ Groaning ]

Mr. Jernigan,
Mr. Unger!

- Welcome.
- You got a haircut?

Are you almost
done in there?

Don't start with me.

I'll wait.

[ Beeping ]

[ Line Rings ]

[ Ringing ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Ringing Continues ]

[ Rings ]

[ Jernigan ]
Let's move.
[ Rings ]

[ Alice ]
Ugh. What stinks?

[ Unger ]
Shut up.

- [ Rings ]
- Hello?

[ Karen ]
Honey, you're all out of breath.
Is something wrong?

- No, no! Everything's fine.
- I'm so worried.
The weather is terrible.

[ Spraying ]

- I'm gonna come home right now.
- No, no. Take your time.

Really.
Don't come home, Mom.

- Um, why don't you pick up
Stan and Molly from school?
- Are you sure?

[ Alex ]
Yeah. I'm playing Chinese
checkers with Mrs. Hess.

- You're not smoking, are you?
- No. I gotta go.

Mrs. Hess gets nutty
when you make her wait.

- Okay. Play fair.
- Always.

What a brave little fellow.

Mr. Jernigan.
Living room clear.

Good.

Mmm. Nothing
in the kitchen.

[ Alice ]
Let's organize.

Mr. Unger, go to the left.
Mr. Jernigan, follow me,
slowly.

[ Whispers ]
Go, Doris.

Ah.

[ Alice ]
Mr. Unger, go left.

Cover him.
I'll cover the stairs.

- [ Gasps ]
- I'm comin' for you, shorty.

Comin' to pay you back
for all the misery
you caused me.

- Mr. Unger, what are you doing?
- Kid's in the closet.

Scarin' him a little
just before I grab him.
[ Gasps ]

And behind
door number one--

towels.

- Hmph.
- I saw this door close.

Idiot.

Would I make it up?
Why? What's the point?
We working on commission here?

Phew.
[ Sneezes, Gasps ]

[ Sirens Wailing ]

Right.
Follow the sergeant.
We'll go left.

[ Bell Ringing ]
Clear the halls.

[ Man ]
What's up, fellas?

- What's going on?
- You're Mrs. Pruitt
from Washington Street?

Yes.
Agent Stuckey,
F.B.I.

I came to talk
to your son.

You called the air force
about a computer chip
in a remote control car?

- No.
- Oh, God. It's Alex.

It's-It's my-my other son.
Why? What's happened?

He may be in danger.

- He's not here. He's at home.
- Well, let's move.

Why is he in danger?

She asked you
a question, sir.

I'm not at liberty
to discuss it, son.

The "it"
you're referring to
is my little brother.

We think he intercepted
a top secret electronic
device...

stolen from a defense
department contractor...

by a group of international
criminals working for a North
Korean terrorist organization.

[ Whispers ]
Mr. Jernigan, cover me.

[ Shower Running ]

� Green-eyed lady
Ocean lady �

� Soothing every raging wave
that comes �

[ Alex ]
Go, Doris, go.
[ Squeaks ]

[ Squeaking ]

� Green-eyed lady �

� Ocean lady �

� Soothing every raging wave
that comes �

� Green-eyed lady
Lovely lady �

- � Strolling slowly �
- [ Chuckling ]

� Towards the sun ��

Sorry, Charlie.
[ Laughs ]

This just ain't your day.

[ Squeals ]

Ah!
[ Chittering ]

- Shut up.
- [ Pump Squeals ]

[ Screams ]

What?
Don't move.

- Alice?
- Don't... move.

Alice?

- What? Alice?
- Shh, shh, shh.

- Alice?
- [ Shouts ]

[ High-pitched Operatic ]
� Aah �

- Excellent.
- Run, shorty, run!

- Come on, Doris!
- The kid!

[ Alex ]
Doris, come on!

I got you now,
you little rat!

I got him!
I got him!

- [ Both Groaning ]
- Whoa!

[ Growls, Grunts ]

[ Panting ]

[ Frustrated Grunt ]

You... smacked my winkie.

Well, if you changed
your shorts once in a while,

maybe you wouldn't have
rats in your pants!

All right,
you little rug rat!

[ Growls ]
Where is he?

Stay here, Doris.

[ Squeaks ]

Yikes.

[ Crashing ]
Come on!

[ Whirring ]

Fire!

He's been watching us
the whole time.

[ Groans ]
He had a camera on us.

You're not gonna find me
up there, you big, dumb,
lawbreaking knuckleheads!

[ All ]
He's outside!

Recognize this?

How did he get outside?

- [ Alice ] The same way
you're gonna get outside.
- How?

Jump! Go!
Aah! Don't push!

It's a trampoline.
You're jumping onto
a trampoline.

I presume then that you
won't be joining us?

No. I'll be covering you
from here. Go!
How comforting!

[ Jernigan ]
Come on. He's gettin' away!

Yeah, this is a snap.
This is a snap.

Go!

Whoa!
No!

Huh?

Whoa! Waah!

[ Squawking ]

Oh, God!
Cold. Very cold.

[ Blubbering, Coughing ]

[ Squealing ]
Aah!

Aah!
[ Panting ]

Aah!

[ Robot ]
Fire!

Of course.

Here I come,
you little brat.

[ Screaming ]

[ Crashing ]
Ouch.

Mrs. Hess!

Mrs. Hess.

Hmm.
Mrs. Hess?

Hmm?

You're okay.
I'm here now.

Well.

It's Alex, isn't it?

Today you
learned something:

There is a price to be paid
for being a good citizen.

In your zeal to aid
your neighbor, you finally
slipped into one of my traps.

[ Gasps ]
[ Shouting In
Foreign Language ]

Can Mrs. Hess go inside?
She's very old
and very cold.

Please?

Give me the chip!
It doesn't belong to you.
It's not yours.

[ Sighs ]

The chip, son.
Give me the chip.

[ Chuckles ]
That doesn't belong
to you either.

What?
That's not your gun.

This is your gun.

- [ Shouts ]
- [ Gasps ]

Gotcha.

[ Shivering ]
Here.
Sit down, Mrs. Hess.

Thank you, Alex.

These are times
that call for soup.
Any favorites?

No. Thank you.
I'm-- I'm fine, honey.
[ Chuckles ]

You know, Mrs. Hess,
it's really cold outside.

You're a pretty tough
old bird.

And you're a very
sweet young man.

I just never took
the time to notice.

You're not alone in that.

[ Sirens Wailing ]

- Over here. Hey!
- Wow.

Move it!

That's it!
Johnson, Williams,
go around back.

[ Shouting ]

Let's go around the back!

Freeze!

You gotta be kidding.

- That's it!
- Let's cordon off the other
end of the block!

- Come on!
Move it! Move it!
- Alex.

[ Man ]
Check over there!

Mom!

Oh!

Oh!
[ Laughing ]

Mom. You're
hugging and kissing me
in front of the cops.

Oh, Alex.
I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry
I didn't listen to you.

This is very cool.

Bud, you're a hero.

- Are you Alex?
- Yeah.

Agent Stuckey,
F.B.I.

Here's the chip.

There's a senior citizen
across the street...

that's gonna need some soup and
a doctor to look at her feet.

There's two guys in our pool
and a woman in our basement.

The other one's gone.

This him?

Yup.

Seven years I've been
after this guy.

He always manages
to slip away.

Thanks.

- It's just the three, sir.
- Where's your boss?

- [ Stuckey ]
Get 'em out of here!
- Yes, sir. Let's go, Popsicle.

Come on.

[ Groans ]

[ Squawking ]

Ha, ha, ha!

Lucy, I'm home!

- What's on your mind,
monkey butt?
- [ Gasps ]

� Bad, bad Leroy Brown �
Shh!

Houston,
we have a problem.

Counting down
in five, four, three,

two--

- Take it.
- Double or nothin'.

I only have one.

We have ignition.

- It's showtime!
- [ Gasps ]

[ Rockets Whistling ]

Hey!

[ Firecrackers Popping ]

Now, I'll be there
in just a minute.
Okay. Bye.

Driver,
it's the big old Tudor place
with the Christmas lights...

and the driveway
that hasn't been shoveled.

- Eh?
- That one right there.

Oh.

[ Chattering ]

- Um--
- [ Man ]
Get that whole thing?

[ Hammering ]
[ Man #2 ]
Yeah.

Have you ever had
the chicken pox?

I had the chicken pox
when Herbert Hoover was
in the White House.

[ Laughing ]

Hello.
Hey there, stranger.

- Dad!
- Hi, sweetie.

Hey, buddy! Come here.

Let me see.

Ah, you don't look
any worse for the wear.
They couldn't touch me.

The computer company
that got their chip boosted
is giving Alex a reward.

It's a six-figure sum,
which is extremely cool.

[ Laughs ]
So, did you
bring me anything?

[ Scoffs ]
As a matter of fact,
I did.

Come here.

Think you can drive that?

I think we
can handle it.
[ Parrot Squawks ]

Gentlemen,
start your engines!

360, 360!

Rat overboard!

Say cheese.

[ Man ]
� This is my town �

� Watch your step
if you come around �

� I don't think I know you �

� Well, maybe it's time
to show you �

� This is my home �

� I'll be standing here alone �

� And if you're ready
to see hell �

� Come on in
and ring the bell �

� Hello, Mr. Hip �

� Finally you got your hit �

� Coming from the nowhere �

� Sliding cross the clover �

� Hello, lady slick �

� Did you pull another trick �

� Beautiful makeover
Make the perfect cover �

� Didn't you know �

� Things don't come easy, so �

� This is my town �

� Watch your step
if you come around �

� I don't think I know you �

� But maybe it's time
to show you �

� This is my home �

� I'll be standing here alone �

� And if you're ready
to see hell �

� Come on in
and ring the bell �

� Yeah �

� Whoa �

� Perfect stranger
Rearranger �

� I think we're
in super danger �
[ Woman Screams ]

� This is my town �

� Watch your step
if you come around �

� I don't think I know you �

� Well, maybe it's time
to show you �

� This is my home �

� I'll be standing here alone �

� And if you're ready
to see hell �

� Come on in
and ring the bell �

� Ring the bell �

� Ring the bell �

� Ring the bell �

� Come on in, come on in
Come on in, come on in �

� Come on in, come on
Come on in, come on in �

� Come on in, come on in
Come on in, come on �

� Yeah ��