All language subtitles for Santa.Jr.2002.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

What creeping, mm,
peoples' houses while they're
sleeping, mm, I can't believe.

- Is that Santa Claus?

Ho, ho, ho.

Ho, ho, ho.

- Aw, run.

- Ho, oh.

Ho?

- Uh, huh. X marks the spot.
Darrell?

- What you got there Norm?

- Map of the City of San Diego.

Check out the circles.

- Some of these neighborhoods
have already been hit.

Throw him in the car.

We suspect that's the Christmas
Bandit.

- Hey. Hey.

- Get in the car, Sant- ie
Claus.
- Did he take anything?

- To tell you the truth
I think he dropped a couple of
presents out of that bag.

- Feliz NaviDad.

I'm going to take this
one up to the car.

- Well that's a pretty big haul
there. He must have hit a few of
your neighbors.

- Well what are you going to
do? It's only two days until
Christmas.

There might be a lot of kids
waking up with nothing.

- Well me and the boys we're
going to bring it down

to the station, try and figure
this thing out.

Should you discover that
anything has been stolen, please
call.

- Thanks. Merry Christmas,
officer.

- Yeah. Uh, same to you.

Norm. What are you doing?

- Uh, this thing is heavy.

- Uh, come on. I'll get it.

- I mean, is this what you want
to do?

- Yeah. Yeah. I got it. - Try
it.

See?

Go ahead.

Go ahead.

- Help, help me with this.

- Mm. Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Uh,
huh. Uh.

Let me ask you something.

Why hit a family like that?

People that, uh, obviously have
nothing?

- This is all a mistake.

- Yes it is. Your mistake.

So you sit back, shut up, and
enjoy Norm's driving.

Ooh.

- I'm sorry. Something went
across the street.

There was a cat or something, I.

You okay?

- Yeah.

Okay. We checked the bag of
gifts into the property room.

We've got the hat.

- I got the hat.

- Easy now. Uh, ah.

- It's Christmas powder.

- Ho, ho, ho something
new on the streets of big SD.

Look, you get the lab to check
that immediately?

- Got it. - Wait a second. No,
no, no.

No that's, No, no. No, no, no,
no wait.

Uh, wait, wait, wait, that stuff
is classified.

- Classified. Wow. Must be
important.

Probably got information on all
those homes you've been casing
huh?

Uh, oh, that's now James Bond.

- One electronic doo-hickey.

- Come on, guys. Please.

You have to believe me. I was
not ripping those people off.

- Now just pipe down and wait
for your lawyer like a good
little felon.

- I haven't even made my phone
call yet.

- I haven't made my phone call
yet. Come on.

- Ho, ho, ho.

You must really like Christmas.

- Like it? I love it. People
always complaining about it.

Talking about the crowds in the
stores.

City can't put the decorations
up fast enough for me.

- Phone call? - Go ahead.

- Think that's the Christmas
Bandit?
- No, Hernandez.

I think it's some other guy who
dresses up like Santa Claus

and breaks into people's homes.

- Name?

- Chris. Chris Cringle.

- See? Now you're just messing
with me.

- Junior. It's Chris Cringle
Junior.

- All right. Hey, Darrell.

Do you find any ID on this
schmoe?

- No ID. No wallet.

- Still busy.

- The guy's been ripping people
off, Norm.

And anyone with half a brain
wouldn't carry any of that stuff
on him.

Hopefully we're going to get
some stuff off the computer, so.

Pictures and prints, junior.

- But I haven't made my phone
call yet.

- Oh that's going to have to
wait. We're going to run you
first.

See if you're on Santa's naughty
list. Come on.
- Been there before. - Hm.

- Ho, ho, ho.
Thanks for calling Santa's Hot
Line.

Santa's very busy getting ready
for Christmas so please be
patient.

The current wait time to speak
to Santa is 23 minutes.

- Okay, great, listen, just
hang tight, uh, someone's on
their way.

Detective. Someone just spotted
a guy in a Santa Suit

breaking into a house over in
Hillcrest.

- Well, give it to someone
else. We already got ours.

- These people always do so
much with their house for the
holidays.

It's really nice.

- Yeah. I, look at that, that's
great.

- Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. - What is it?

- Uh, stop, stop.
Go back. Go back.

- What do you got? - Saw
something.

- Hi.

- Buenos dias

- Good morning Doc.

- Hey
- Hi, Suze, what are you doing
here this close to Christmas?

Just lose a bet?

- Please, it's the season of
giving, Earl.

- Bull.

- See, here it is.

I don't suppose you really do
have a Chris Cringle locked up
in here do you?

- Oh no, no, it's for real all
right.

The guy was a sneak thief. He
was caught by surprise.

He had a, had a big bag of dope
and a sack full of Christmas
presents.

- The Christmas Bandit?

- Uh, maybe but there was
another break in

while they were booking this
Cringle guy.

- Cringle.

Earl, why can't one of these
public defender cases

turn out to be a normal guy?

- I'll try to keep my eyes open
for you.

Hey. Hey. Stop.

Hey, hey you.

Hey. Stop, you, hey.

Uh.

- Hernandez, what in the world
are you doing, son?

- I was, I was chasing that.
- Hey, what's that doing
out here?

- That's, that what I'm saying.
Someone was making off with it
and I, I was running them down.

- What person? That thing
weighs a ton.

- Well, whoever it was, was,
was awfully fast right 'cause I,

I couldn't even catch up to him,
you know, to see who it was

and I, I came around the corner
and he was, like, just gone.

Did you see anybody come through
these doors?

- No. We didn't see noboby.
- Come on.

Give me a hand here let's grab
this thing let's drag it back
around.

- All right you ladies get out
here.

- I'm Susan Flynn. I'm from the
public defenders office.

You're about to go into an
arraignment hearing.

- Is there any chance that I
might be released on my own
recognizance Susan?

- It's Miss Flynn.

I prefer to keep it formal to
help remind you

that I am your counsel and not
your friend.

- Miss? So you're not married.

- I said Ms. - You said miss.

- I did not. - Did too.

- Did not. - Susan.

- Look. This is ridiculous and
childish.

I, I meant to say Miss.

Let's come at this another way.

Who are you working for?

- My father.

- And your father's business

involves having you break into
other peoples' homes?

- Well, he used to do it all
himself

but he's trying to get me to
take over the family business.

- Well, did you try to explain
to him that what he's doing is
against the law?

- People have been letting him
do it for years.

I think they'd be more upset if
he didn't show up.

- And they don't mind him
helping himself to their things?

- Now technically he only takes
what they leave out.

- You seem convinced that this
behavior is all right.

- I don't know if it's right or
wrong.

And I've always felt a little
weird about it

but Dad's been getting away with
it since way before I was even
born.

- Well, what about your mother?
What does she have to say about
all this?

- She's behind Dad, 100
percent.

- Well, it seems to me that
this is something that juvenile
authorities

should have been aware of years
ago.

But it's doubtful that I can get
you released before your trial

because you don't have a local
address.

In fact there is no address
listed at all.

- Susan. Miss Flynn. You got to
try to get me out of here.

- Well, what's the rush?

Might be good to steer clear of
the home life

even if it is in the city jail.

- No. I, I can't.

There are a lot of people
depending on me showing up for
Christmas.

- Now I can't promise anything
but there is a trick

I might be able to pull to get
you released before your trial.

I need your word on something.

- Anything.

- You have to tell the absolute
truth out there.

- That usually doesn't go down
so well.

- Well, that might have been
the way you were raised but
that's the deal champ.

- Okay. Deal.

- Season's
greetings.

You've reached Gustof on my

toll-free line at the
North Pole.

I'm away from work
bench right now

so please leave a message and
happy holidays.

- Gus, where are you? It's
Stan.

You were right.

I couldn't keep the
kid from leaving early

and now we're in it pretty deep.

Hold on.

Okay, listen. Farley's gone.

The cops have Chris and the
presents.

While I wait here to see what
they're going to do with the kid

I'm going to find
someplace to work and

figure how to make
some replacements.

I think I have a little time to
make things okay but whatever
you do,

don't tell the big guy.

Thanks, buddy. Got to go.

- Next case. People versus
Chris Cringle.

- Miss Flynn, I don't suppose
your client is going to plead
guilty to these charges?

- No sir. And he's looking to
be released on his own

recognizance until trial, Your
Honor.

- Oh no, it, this, this is
Christmas, Miss Flynn, not April
Fools.

With these kind of charges there
is.

- Which charges sir? Breaking
and entering?

There's no evidence. Burglary?
He never left the premises

and there's no evidence that he
ever took anything from anywhere
else.

Stolen property? No proof.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Your order is admirable,
counsellor,

but there's the substance charge

uh, Doctor Romaine, have you,
uh, completed the test?

- I have indeed Your Honor.

- And?

- It's, uh, nothing sir.

- Nothing? What kind of
nothing?

- I have run every test there
is for every type of

narcotic, psychotropic and
hallucinogen on our database.

This substance is completely
inert.

- Well, what about the blood
tests on Mr. Cringle?
- Also negative.

- What about this Christmas
Bandit business?

- There have been more similar
break in's since my client's
arrest Your Honor.

- Uh. So that pretty much just
leaves the, uh, trespass charge.

- A misdemeanor sir.

- I am familiar with the law,
Miss Flynn.

Mr. Cringle? You live right here
in San Diego?

- I do.

- Well, is there a mistake?

Uh, Palm Avenue. Is that not in
San Diego?

- Uh, yes that address is in
San Diego. It's, uh.

- It's a new address for him
sir.

- I see.

Well, I am prepared to release
you

on your recognizance until the
start of your trial.

Is there anything else you, uh,
wish to add?

- No sir.

- Oh, thank you son.

- For what?

- Well.

I have to say when I
saw that suit

and heard your
name Mr. Cringle.

I was afraid you were going
to tell me you were Santa Claus.

- No way. I'm his son.

- How's that?
- What are you doing?

- You told me to
be totally honest.

- Councilor.

- Your Honor.

I believe that my client has
been a victim

of abuse and manipulation
perhaps since childhood.

Treatment that has clouded his
sense of right and wrong

and even his identity.

- Very well.

Your actions don't seem to
constitute a direct threat to
society.

And it is the holidays.

- So I can go?

- I don't think a wing nut like
you should be running around
lose.

Therefore, you are hereby bound
over under house arrest

at 8140 Palm Avenue in the City
of San Diego.

- This isn't happening.

- You will be fitted with an
electronic tracking device.

Any attempt to leave that
address will result in your
incarceration

in the city jail until your
trial. Merry Christmas, Santa
Junior.

- Cringle, Junior.

- Well, congratulations Mr.
Junior.

I guess the judge has a soft
spot in his heart for loons.

- Where's my powder? - I got it.

- Where's my presents?

- Your presents?

We're still trying to figure out
how to get them back to the kids
that you took them from.

- I didn't take them. I was
bringing them. Those kids are my
responsibility.

- Well, the bag of gifts is now
evidence.

So the police will take care of
it from now on.

You might want to change those
clothes.

- Uh, these are fine.

- Costume shop only had that
one size?

- Hand me downs.

- Dang.

- Press is here.

- Uncuff him. - Why?

- Do you want to be known as
one of the cops

leading Santa Claus around in
hand cuffs

in front of a bunch of kids at
Christmas on TV?

I didn't think so.

Nice place.

- Looks familiar.

- Excuse me, gentlemen. Pietre
Nero, Channel 13 News.

Detectives Bedford and Potter,
isn't it?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

- Is it true that
you believe that

this man is the so called
Christmas Bandit?

- We think may be able to
uncover enough evidence to prove
any of this.

- Well, are, are you aware
there've been at least two other
break ins

since you apprehended this man
yesterday?

Break-ins involving a figure in
a Santa Claus costume?

- We have no reason to believe
that this man is acting alone.

- What, uh, uh, do you have
accomplices still at large, Mr.
Cringle,

uh, that is the name you gave
the police, Chris Cringle?

- What did you say your name
was?

- Pietra Nero, Channel 13 News.
Uh, uh, what's that?

- Very naughty. Very naughty.

- I have no comment for naughty
news people, Miss Nero.

- What does that mean?
What does that mean?

- Do the police have the
mastermind of Christmas Bandit
robberies in custody?

Will the holiday crime wave
continue?

Stay tuned to Channel 13 News
for your latest update.

Back to you, Nick.

- Welcome home, Mr. Cringle.
Gentlemen?

I'm Susan Flynn. I'm Mr.
Cringle's attorney.

- Detective Norm Potter, San
Diego P.D.

My partner Darrell Bedford.

- I remember you.

- Detective?

- Three years ago.

You got one of my busts off
scot-free.

Jimmy Fingers.

- Oh, right. That was my first
case for the public defender's
office.

Might have gone a little
differently if you had some more
detecting, detective.

- The guy was a scum bag.

- Lots of guys are scum bags.

- Tell me about it.

- Uh, why don't we take this
little reunion inside?

I'm sorry. Please.

- Uh. We don't usually get the
attorneys showing up at these
things.

- Yeah? Well, I'm just making
sure that everything goes by the
book, detective.

- Okay, uh, who gets the
dingus?

- Three guesses.

- This, uh, this can track you
wherever you go in the city.

Not that you're going to get
that far. There's a set
perimeter.

The whole house is wired with
sensors.

Go through the front door, sets
off the alarm.

Go through the window, it sets
off the alarm.

Try to cut off that band.

- It sets off the alarm.
- There you go.

Cops will be here at
three, five minutes tops.

Oh, and Miss Flynn, the alarm
also goes off in your room.

- Your room?

This is your house.

- My parents' actually. I
inherited it after they died.

- I'm sorry. But why is he
staying here?

- Okay. That'll be all I think
right?

- So, uh, what's the deal, Miss
Flynn?

Tomorrow's Christmas Eve. It's
not even decorated yet.

No light, no trees. What's up?

- Well, I've just been really
busy.

And I, um, know I'm not much for
celebrating Christmas.

Some, uh, some not so great
memories.

Just forget it.

- You guys, uh, normally like
standing around making somebody
feel uncomfortable?

- Oh, uh, yes. Well, uh, we
should be going.

Good luck with your pet
criminal.

- Merry Christmas.

- Sure

- Don't worry. I'm safe.

You must have realized that. You
gave them your address.

- I gave them my address to
help you get out of here.

And then you ruined it and you
had to give them that crap about
being Santa Claus.

- His son. And there's a
difference.

- Oh yeah. Big difference. Like
peanuts and almonds.

- Peanuts and almonds?

- They're both nuts.

Do you know how much trouble
this is going to cause for me?

- Trouble for you?

Do you have any idea the effect
this is going to have?

And by the way, there's a big
difference.

My Dad loves this whole
Christmas thing and he expects
me to love it to.

And I don't. I just don't get
it.

I think I'd just rather be a
dentist or something.

Kids.

- What?

- Kids.

- We want to see Santa Claus.

- There's no Santa Claus here.

- He's right there.

- Oh him? He's just the son of
Santa Claus.

- That's cool.

- Looks like you're on.

- Hey guys, what's up?

- Are you really Santa's kid?

- That's right, CJ.

- Do you ever get to ride in
the sleigh?

- Ride in the sleigh?

I used to sit on my Dad's lap
and drive the sleigh.

- Ooh.

- But now?

I got my own sports sleigh,
totally cherried out.

I just got one reindeer though.

- Which one?

- His name is Farley.

- Do you have any elves?

- Yup. I got one of those too.

- What's its name?

- His name is Stan.

- Where is he?

- That's what I'd like to know.

Yes, Monica.

You don't have to
raise your hand

although that's
very polite.

- Does Santa always know what
we want?

- Always. CJ, Brent, Jessica,
Monica.

Santa knows what you all want.

But it helps him if you write to
him because there are millions
of kids out there.

And Santa always gets your
letters.

- I, I forgot to mail mine.

- I'll make sure the S Man gets
your letter in time.

- No.

- Oops.

- This tape
broadcast earlier today shows

the alleged Christmas Bandit
being placed under house arrest.

- Get a load of that creep.
Some nerve.

It's my gig, buddy. I'm the
Christmas Bandit, huh?

Am I right?

I'm the one.

Come here.

Come here.

I don't know who you are
buddy.

But if you think you can take
credit for my work, steal my
headlines.

Well, it ain't going to work
baby.

It ain't going to work, it. Hmm.

I do so love the holidays.

- You're all good here,
detective.

- Thanks. You know, we do have
other people to help.

- Wasn't my idea. Just think of
it as an early Christmas present
from Santa Junior.

- Yo, partner, got to go. They
need us downtown.

Another break in.

Looks like there is another
Christmas Bandit out there.

- Yeah. You know, maybe you
just let us put him back in
jail.

- He's just trying to be nice
to some kids who came to the
front door.

- Yeah. But if he goes back to
jail,

maybe it won't be so personal
when the case goes to court.

- Thank you for your concern.

What?

- It's just, you seem smarter
than this.

- Let's not do that again.

- How many more apologies do
you want,

Susan, uh, uh, Miss Flynn?

Where am I supposed to sleep
anyway?

- I have a guest room.

Where did you come up with
Farley?

- What?

- You said your reindeer's name
was Farley.

- Oh yeah, that's, uh, Blitzen
and Dancer's kid.

- Blitzen and Dancer? You mean
they? Ooh.

- Uh, how do you think you make
more reindeer?

- How did you know those kids
names?

They live in my neighborhood and
I don't know their names.

- Uh, was thoroughly briefed.
Plus I got a knack.

- Briefed?

- Susan Flynn. Nice.

- What is this? Nice? No way.

This is Santa's Naughty Or Nice
List?

- That's the NON seven point
nine version.

Pacific coast edition anyway.

That's my territory this year.

Or it was until I totally
screwed up.

- I'll say. You were two days
early.

You know, your story would have
been a lot more believable

if you had been caught on
Christmas Eve.

- Give me a break.

I didn't know if I'd be able to
get the whole route done in one
night.

Plus Dad stuck me with Stan.

- And if I heard you correctly
Stan is an elf.

- An elf with a permanent
Grinch on.

That guy's been keeping an eye
on me since I was a kid.

- Nice doggy.

Uh. No, uh, let the elf down.

Down. Down. Sit. Heel. Down. Uh.

- Look, Dad.

- Is my ex in here?

- That's classified.

- Yeah. Right. Maybe because
you're just making it all up.

- What's his name?

- Oh you don't know?

- We don't have that kind of
intel on people.

What do you think we are? The
CIA?

- Okay. I'll play along. His
name is Brian Simpkins.

- Brian Simpkins.

- Brian
Simpkins. Borderline.

- Rating borderline.

He's eligible for small
electronic devices.

Batteries not included.

- What about five years ago?

- Five years ago?
Let's go out here.

Oh. Yipes. Naught-y.

We are talking lump of coal
naughty.

- I knew it, the rat. What was
her name?

- Huh, nothing specific, just
naughty or nice.

- You're really good.

That's easy enough to get those
kids to believe you.

- It's one thing to get them to
believe you.

It's quite another to get them
to believe in you.

- I guess. You even have me
half believing you.

Or in you. I'm not sure.

- Well, I half a belief is
better than none.

Do me a favor.

- You can't be serious.

Santa Claus, care of Santa's
Workshop, North Pole.

- Come on, just humor me,
please.

Once my Dad gets this letter I
will be out of your hair
forever.

- But even if they pick up the
mail in the morning

it's not gonna get there on
time.

Like there is even a there,
there.

- Come on. Trust me.

It's a Christmas thing.

- All right.

Ho, ho, ho. Thanks
for calling Santa's Hotline.

Santa's very busy getting ready
for Christmas, so please be
patient.

The current wait time to speak
to Santa is . . .

- 41.

- . . . minutes.

- Oh, yeah.

- What am I doing?

- AH!

Detective Bedford, What are you
doing here?

- Well, ever since your place
was all over the television

Norm and I have been assigned to
stake it out,

just in case your house guest
has an accomplice and he tries
to make contact.

- Detective, I think you're way
off the mark.

Chris seems like he's just a
nice guy.

He's had a tough life.

- It's more than likely he's
running a con.

- Oh, that's ridiculous.

What could he possible have to
gain

from pretending to be the son of
an imaginary figure?

- Look at it this way:

he has no residence and now he's
living in your house.

- That's my fault.

- What are you doing out here
anyway?

- Uh, just mailing some
letters.

- You haven't given him any
money have you?

- Detective, I may be a sucker
for hard luck cases, but I'm not
stupid.

- I didn't mean to imply, uh,
listen. Um, would you . . .

- Would I what, detective?

- Darryl. Would you like to go
grab some coffee?

- Well, Darryl, after the day I
had today

I think I'd rather have a drink.

- Uh, it sounds kind of corny
but I'm on duty.

- Okay, then you can watch me
drink.

- Okay. Where to?

- I think I know a nice little
place.

- Thanks for the help, Chris.

- What's wrong with the front
door, Stan?

- There's a cop out there.

- Yeah, that's Norm.

I wonder where his partner went?

You look like crap, Stan.

- Oh, I look like crap?
Gee, Chris,

why don't you try sleeping in
the bushes overnight like some
kind of animal?

Not all of us get to stay in a
big, fancy house,

kicking back chips, living the
sweet life.

- You're the one who left me
alone to deal with the cops.

- I had to get out of there.

You know the rules.

- How did you figure out where
I was?

- Wasn't hard. You're a big TV
star.

- And then what's with the, uh,
the get up?

I mean, where's the elf suit?

- The union suit is designed
for sub-0 temperatures.

-All right, Let's get my stuff
and get out of here.

- Chris? I, um,

kind of lost Farley.

- I'm not hearing this.

- Well, when the cops showed
up,

Farley took off like a shot.

Caught me off guard. I fell out.

By the time got the sleigh bells
to stop jingling in my head,

he was gone.

Still got a job to do.

- And how are we supposed to do
that?

- That's not gonna be easy now,
is it?

- I got one problem, Stan.

- What?

- I can't go anywhere without
every cop in San Diego knowing
about it.

- Well, don't worry about it.
Let me look at it.

Oh, yeah. Cut the hand off.

I was kidding.

Have you tried the powder?

- It's not Christmas Eve yet.

Look, you'd better get out of
here

because if Susan gets back

and she sees you here, she's
gonna lock us both up.

- What are you gonna do?

- I sent her off because I
wrote a letter to Santa.

She's out there-mailing it right
now.

- All right. I'll lay low.

Improvise.

I'll check back with you when
the coast is clear.

- Hey, Stan? Thanks for
sticking with me.

- No problem, kiddo.

Besides, what am I gonna tell
the old man?

Sorry, Santa, I lost your kid?

- Hey, before you go, I need a
hand with something.

- The reason I decided to take
those cases is

probably the same thing that
made you decide to go into law
enforcement.

- Uh, you mean the great hours
and the terrific pay?

- Being low on the totem pole
at a private law firm

means mostly doing leg work and
research.

So in the beginning it was about
getting more court time.

Then it became about helping
people.

- Oh, yeah. That.

Well, for me, my old man was a
Jarhead City cop, and his father
before him.

- That's funny. Must be in the
blood.

My Daddy was DA here once upon a
time.

- I know. The mighty Flynn.

He prosecuted that drug cartel a
few years ago.

That was, that was a good job.

How come you're not seeing
anybody?

- I was seeing somebody for
about five years

but that didn't work out.

He didn't want the commitment or
the kids.

- And you did?
- Do.

The worst part is I caught him
cheating on me on Christmas.

- Ouch.

- Yeah, if you want a reason
not to have a happy merry one,
there you go.

And about a year later there was
a, um, car accident.

I lost my parents. They were
Christmas to me.

They just had so much fun
decorating the house

and getting into the Christmas
spirit.

So with them gone I think I just
kind of let Christmas go.

- Well, it was, uh, more than I
expected.

I'm really sorry about your
parents.

And, uh, thank you for, for
telling me this stuff.

- So what about you? Why isn't
there a Mrs. Bedford?

- Oh, there have been a couple
of close calls but

the, you know, trick is to find
someone who doesn't freak out

once they make the realization
that I get shot at occasionally.

I can't imagine I'll always be
alone.

- Yeah, you know, speaking of
alone

I should, uh, probably get back
and keep an eye on Chris.

- I should probably get back to
keeping an eye on you.

- Are you flirting with me,
detective?

- No, it's just that I'm
worried that, you know,

you're Santa wann-a-be does have
an accomplice

and he may show up at your
house.

- And you want to be there to
catch him,

and then you'd have a perfect
little matched set of bad guys.

- That, and I don't want
anything to happen to you.

- That's very sweet.

- You know, I was thinking, um,

if you're not doing anything for
Christmas Eve ...

- What is your partner doing up
there?

- Norm? What are you doing up
there you big idiot?

- Man, am I glad you showed up.

I never know what to do with the
extras.

What's with the piece?

- Oh, uh, nothing.

- Did you just call me an
idiot?

- Uh, sorry. No, look. What's
going on here?

- Did you just call me an
idiot?

- No.

- All set. Here we go.

Oh, hey Darryl. Hey Susan.

Perfect, she's out there, right?

You know, I got a little bored
so I went up into the attic
and I found some lights.

And since I couldn't go outside,
Norm here volunteered.

Right, Norm?

- They do look nice.

- Norm volunteered?

- Hey, look. - While you were
out here being distracted,

what was he doing on the inside?

- Oh, Chris this is beautiful.
Just like my parents used to do.

- Figured the place could use
it.

- How did you do it so fast?

- I told you, I got a knack.

- You got a ...

- Oh. Even made that phony tree
look great.

- I don't have a tree, and this
is a real tree.

- Well. Had a long day.

Good night.

- Oh, for me.

Ah, for me? I didn't get you
anything.

- One shopping day
left before Christmas

and it's 75 degrees here in
sunny San Diego.

Not like the Christmases I
remember growing up in Vermont.

All righty. Surf report now-

- Junior, breakfast is ready.

In here.

Good morning.

- Good morning.

Oh, wow.

Oh, my gosh.

This is really delicious.

To think that I was just
counting on getting like, milk
and cookies.

Oh, yeah, uh, there's that woman

we saw outside yesterday from
the news.

- It seems the Christmas
bandit is still on the loose. -
That's good for you.

- ...confirmed is the
bandit apparently was scared off

before he could actually take
anything.

This time, however, he may have
let something behind.

Is this what you asked Santa
for, Christina?

- A pig from Santa.

- A pig from Santa.

And in Coronado another child
discovered a train

made out of an empty detergent
box,

with wheels made out of
mayonnaise jar lids,

when the family dog interrupted
the intruder.

Authorities aren't sure what's
going on,

but one thing is certain.

For some children in San Diego,

this is going to be a very
different Christmas.

Pietre Nero, channel 13 news.

- Nice pig.

- That suit must be getting to
me.

I had a weird dream last night.

- Weird? How?

- It was Christmas and I had
been crying my eyes out over
that loser Brian.

And I had fallen asleep.

And in the dream something woke
me.

And there was Santa Claus and I
started crying again.

And then he hugged me for what
seemed like such a long time.

- Oh, it wasn't that long.

But we did have to make up for
lost time in the backend.

- So you were there. And, and
he was timing you or something.

- Efficiency tests. I hate
them.

Guess I blew the curve this
year.

- But why wouldn't I remember
seeing Santa Claus or you?

- Oh, Christmas powder.

We use it to make people forget.

And we use it to get up and down
chimneys

and in and out of places without
chimneys,

you know, stuff like that.

There's one catch. It only works
on Christmas Eve.

And even though people forget
seeing Santa Claus consciously,

it seems to keep them on the
nice list for the rest of their
lives.

A lot of them end up helping
people.

- Oh, thank you. Merry
Christmas.

The evidence is certainly
stacking up in your favor.

It's from C. Cringle, The
Workshop, North Pole.

Overnight delivery. Santa Claus
uses overnight delivery?

- Uses it? Who do you think had
the sugarplums to start it?

Everyone else just rips him off.

It's the present for the little
girl whose letter you mailed
yesterday.

- This is amazing.

- You're telling me.

- What's that?

- It's from my Dad.

- What's it say?

- Figured you ran into some
trouble when

Farley showed up here with your
empty sleigh.

And of course the one time you
need a lift

is the one day that I have to
work.

Your mother's worried about you
but I told her

you'll figure a way out of your
jam.

After all, you're a Kringle.

Use your brains and don't
forget, kids are depending on
you.

Last one back to The Pole has to
clean the reindeer stalls.

Love, Dad.

- Parents can be frustrating
sometimes, huh?

Well, what's the matter?
I thought you didn't want the
job in the first place.

- That's not the point. The
point is is that this is it.

Tonight. Merry Christmas. Feliz
NaviDad. The Big Noel.

Tonight. Millions of kids stand

to wake up tomorrow morning with
nothing because of me.

The presents are the payoff.

- The payoff for being nice.

If you're nice you get a present
from either you or Santa Claus.

- That's it. That's it.

And if you've been nice all year
round and you don't get your
presents . . .

- Then you have a bunch of
disappointed kids

who might not be so interested
in being nice the next year.

I have an idea.

- How to get me out of here.

- No. How to get your job done
for you. Now, don't go anywhere.

This is me.
Who are you? What do you want?

- It's Clarence.

Chris, what's going on?

I thought you were, uh, the
Christmas bandit.

Now I see this kid in the
papers.

I'm paying you top dollar for
these toys

because I'm thinking I'm dealing
with, uh, you know, the genuine
article.

- Hey, Clarence, how you doing,
buddy?

Listen, I just got in with
another haul.

Hey, pal, you can't believe
everything you read in the
papers, can you?

You're talking to the one and
only original Christmas Bandit
here.

- That may be but, uh, this
other guy getting grabbed

is making it too hard to move
the stuff you brought in.

- Too hot? Too hot to move
toys?

We're not trying to fence the
Hope Diamond, you know.

- I'm telling you it's hotter
than I want to play around with.

Maybe next year.

- Now wait. Wait, wait, wait.

Listen, Clarence, what if I made
sure that this, uh,

Kringle dude wasn't a problem
any more?

- Then I guess we're still in
business.

You really think you can take
care of this?

- Clarence, consider this my
little Christmas present to you.

- Yes, my Mother, Yeah, your
Mother, too.

Everybody. You knew it was
Christmas, right?

- I'll be home as, uh, soon as
I get some stuff wrapped up.

Get it? Christmas? Wrapped?
Hello. Hello.

That lady. I can't stand word
play but I love her, anyway.

- I tell you, Norm. There is
something about this Santa
Junior guy.

- Have you thought about the
fact that it could be Santa's
kid?

- Have you? Please say no.

- Well, he's got no priors. Got
no wants or warrants.

- Are you listening to
yourself?

- What are you talking about,
man?

You, this is, this is real to
you, isn't it?

- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.

Man, I never seen
you this worked up before.
This is love.

- No.

- Yes it is. It's, uh, what, a
Susan.

You're in love with Susan.

- Step aside. This guy is
taking advantage of her.

She told me she had a really bad
relationship before,

now getting scammed by this
Kringle guy, it's only gonna
make it worse.

- Why don't you just ask her
out?

- I don't think
she's interested.

- Yeah, but do you know this
for sure?

- No.

- Well, I'll tell you what.

Until then why don't we, uh, lug
that bag of toys door to door

to a couple of neighborhoods
and, um, see if anybody knows
anything.

See if anybody knows anything.

- Well, I have a better idea.

- How long have you been
standing there?

- I just got here,
unfortunately. Why? Did I miss
something?

- I don't know, I was a....

- Piete Nero reporting live
from police headquarters
downtown.

It's the day before Christmas

and San Diego's surprise Santa
this year turns out to be

the Police Department.

Detective Bedford, what's going
on here?

- Yesterday we apprehended a
man in Logan Heights.

- You're talking about Chris
Kringle.

- Yes. And in his possession we
found a big bag of toys and
other gifts.

Now that he's under house arrest
we're gonna make sure

that Santa makes it to Logan
Heights and South Crest and
National City.

We got the word out this morning
and, uh, anyone that's missing
presents,

we would like them to come down
and identify whatever they can.

- Miss Flyn, what does your
client have to gain from this
move?

Public sympathy? Leniency from
the courts?

- Chris just really wants to
help people.

He thinks it's part of his job.

Sort of.

- Well, I hope he really wants
to help because there are a lot
of folks here.

- Well, in that case we should
get started. Thank you. Who's
first?

- Merry Christmas. Merry
Christmas.

- Now, now, now, hold on now.

This ain't one of them, uh,
trapment tricks now, is it,

where y'all tell folks y'all are
giving them stuff free

and then y'all get us on parking
tickets or something.

- Oh, no, sir. Not at all. Why?
You do something illegal?

- No.

- What is your name?

- Bernard.

- And what did you have stolen,
Bernard?

- Nothing. I just came to get
me a new sweater is all.

- Bernard, uh, these are toys
for the kids.

Bernard? We actually have
something for him.

- Well, give it to him.

- My size. My favorite color,
too. Merry Christmas.

- Man, that was weird.

- Who's next?

- Merry Christmas.

- It says Elise.

- Is that you?

- Yes.

- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

- Well, I guess we got lucky
again.

Hey, Ms. Taylor.

- Merry Christmas. You remember
Theo and Schirocco?

- Hi, guys. Did you discover
something missing?

- No, everything was right
where I left it.

And I wasn't gonna come down
except I thought

when does the City ever give
anything away?

- Yes, but, um, we would like
as many children to get presents
as possible.

- I barely make enough to
scrape by on

let alone shell out money for
toys for these babies.

You know what's in them packages
at home? Clothes.

- Oh, mama, clothes?

- Hush. Clothes they need and
that they're gonna outgrow in no
time flat.

I work two jobs all day long

and I'm playing hooky from one
of them to stand here and look
at you?

Huh uh. There had better be
something in that bag for these
good children.

- Better not be a doll.

- Mine better be a doll. Hey,
this is for Theo.

- Sorry I was tough on you
guys. It's just that it's been a
rough year.

- Mama, it's just what I asked
Santa for.

- Me, too. - What do you say?

Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Ha ha. Merry Christmas.

- Happy Holidays. - Merry
Christmas.

- Attention. Attention all
residents.

I am unarmed. Is your dog on a
leash?

Get out, get out of the house.

Hey, guys, it's me. Just me,
Santa Junior.

I'm coming in.

Jeez -

Come on, Stan, I know old habits
are hard to break

but please just try to use the
door.

- Hey, dude. Who you talking
to?

- Who are you?

- What, you don't recognize me?
Ho, ho, ho? I'm Santa Claus.

- Wait a minute. Just one
second.

- Wally Fisk, very, very
naughty . . .

- Wally Fisk aka The Christmas
Bandit.

Naughty since you've been old
enough to know better.

And a disgrace to the uniform.

- Ooooh, I'm naughty.

And who are you supposed to be,
dude?

- He's the guy who delivers
toys to all the good little
girls and boys.

On the West Coast, anyway.

- Hey, Stan. Great timing.

Hey, by the way, was that Bleach
Bottle Pig

I saw on the news yesterday you?

- That was all me, kid.

I had to go old school on toys.

No workshop. No materials.

I was grabbing stuff out of
recycling bins.

- Hey, hey, hey. Time out here.
Now what are you dudes, cops or
what?

- You're gonna wish we were
cops.

- Name's Claus, Santa Claus,
Junior.

- And, uh, what about
the little dude?

- The little dude is in charge
of the coal.

Coal?

Yeah. So what'll it be?

One lump. Or two. Dude. -I?

- Look, Wally, I don't know
where you went naughty,

but you're through giving Santa
a bad name.

So why don't you just turn
yourself in

so we can get out of here and do
our job?

- Hey, hey, hey, Cold Man,
Santa Boy,

I am checking out of this freak
show.

- Chris, look
out.

4.3 seconds. Got the knack.

- Is it Christmas Eve yet?

- It's gotta be Christmas Eve
somewhere around the world.

- We got a little time to kill.

What do you say we go check out
some sites?

- And you actually think that's
a good idea?

- The sack is gonna keep Darryl
and Susan

busy until we show up

and the only night we ever get
away from the North Pole

is the one night that everything
is pretty much closed.

- Ah, what the heck?

There's always time to do a bump
and run on the cops

to get the sack back before we
get the heck out of Dodge.

- Or Caddy.

- That's the creep's car.

- Least he can do is let us
borrow his car for messing with
the family name.

I mean, holy night.

This is a Caddy man, this thing
is longer than a sleigh.

Dad'd be jealous.

- Whoa, whoa,
whoa. Kiddo,

you can't drive around in that
get-up.

Didn't I hear you say something
about disgrace to the uniform?

- You're right.

Better?

- Much.

Where'd you learn how to drive?

- Internet.

- Cool.

- Santa Jr.

- Hey, Monica, Merry Christmas.

- Santa Jr., did your Dad get
my letter?

- He sure did.

- Is that your elf?

- I'm my own elf.

- Merry Christmas, Monica.

Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

- Bye, bye.

- Bye.

- Merry Christmas.

- Hey, Merry Christmas, Merry
Christmas,

everyone, but, you, Merry
Christmas.

Yeah, Merry Christmas, step up
here, next, you're next,

woo hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. I
love you.

Uh, why don't you two take a
little break?

- You sure?

- Three is better than one.

- Well, I think you two are
actually crimping my style.

Go ahead, take five, take five.

All right, you crimping my
style.

Let's get to giving here.

Come on, step right up.

Christmas. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Yeah, Merry Christmas,

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Merry Christmas.

Happy New Year,

Merry Christmas,

Happy New Year.

- Should have stayed with the
sled.

- Really? And who'd have gotten
your mistletoe out of a sling
then?

I've been busting my hump here
trying to keep this operation
together.

- This has been no holiday on
ice for me either, you know
that, Stan?

- You have no idea how tough
this could have been.

- What do you mean?

- I wasn't gonna say anything,
but,

I'm the only one that would come
with you.

Oh, Gustav and Max would've if
Santa made them.

But, you know the old man's not
like that.

- Nobody wanted to come with
me.

- Sorry. Didn't wanna tell you,
but, here we are.

You're a good kid, Chris. Just
got an attitude.

- I have an attitude?

- Yeah, a big one.

Every kid reaches a point in
their life when they don't see
eye-to-eye

with their folks about how the
way the world works, that's a
given.

But, you and this, quote,
anti-Christmas spirit thing,

it's, it's gone too far.

- What, I, I've been in this
role, what now?

A couple of days?

I have seen no evidence of the
Christmas spirit anywhere.

- Really.

- Really, please, explain it to
me.

- I've tried, kid. We all have.

It comes down to this.

If you have to ask, you just
don't get it.

- Here you go.

- Thanks.

- Oh. You were right. This was
a great idea.

- Do you finally believe that
Chris is who he says he is?

- Well, . . .

- We've just spent hours
passing presents out of a

bottomless bag of coincidentally
labeled toys.

- But, come on, the son of
Santa Claus, how is that even
possible?

- You know, you and Chris are a
lot alike.

- We are nothing alike.

- Neither of you is willing to
believe.

You don't believe in Chris and

Chris doesn't believe in the
Christmas spirit.

- Yeah. How can the son of
Santa Claus not believe in
Christmas?

- I don't know. But it must be
hard when it's your job.

- Yeah, maybe.

- I'm just worried about what's
gonna happen to Chris

without Stan and Farley around.

- Stan and Farley?

- Oh. Stan is an elf. Farley's
a reindeer.

But, Farley flew back to the
North Pole with Chris' sleigh.

At least, according to the
letter Chris that got this
morning from Santa.

- An elf? A flying reindeer and
a letter from Santa?

- If you're gonna buy the Santa
Jr. bit,

it's all a part of the package.

- Well, it's a little bit more
than I was planning for.

All I wanted was to see if you
wanted to go to dinner with me.

- You're asking me out?

- I was thinking about it.
Yeah.

- Okay.

- Maybe when Christmas is over
I'll just stay here.

- And do what?

- I don't know. Do something.

Get a job. Meet a girl.

- What? You're not even
supposed to be mingling with the
normals,

let alone, dating them.

Job's not a bad idea, though.

- You really think so.

- You better find what you
wanna do with the rest of your
life,

because after this fiasco your
Dad's not even gonna

let you deliver a pizza.

- Thanks for cheering me up,
Stan.

- Christopher, Christopher,
what's wrong?

- You can't hear that? - Hear
what?

- It's a kid. A kid, crying.
Come on.

- Oh,
no, we can't call Santa, I don't
have Santa's number,

I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
baby, but, we can't see him
right now.

- Hey, Jennifer.

- Who are you?

- I'm Chris, uh, Santa Claus
Jr. Santa Claus Jr.

- My Mommy says my Daddy's not
coming home for Christmas.

And that even Santa Claus can't
change that no matter how hard I
wish.

- Well, where's her Dad?

- Her father's in the Navy and
he's stationed halfway around
the world.

- Jennifer. Come here. Come
here.

Sometimes, sometimes mommies and
daddies have jobs

that they have to do to make the
world a better place.

And sometimes it's hard to
understand how important those
jobs can be.

Even for the people that are
doing those jobs.

So, what we have to do is that
we have to love them and support
them

and let them know how much we
appreciate what they're doing
for us.

You understand?

Hey, Stan, have you seen a phone
around here?

- Ho, ho, ho. Thanks for
calling Santa's hotline.

The current wait time to speak
to Santa is 47 minutes.

- 47 minutes wait time, there
has gotta be a way to get around

this phone system, Stan.

- Just dial four, six, four,
six, four, six.

- What's that?

- Ho, ho, ho.

- Are you serious? Four, six,
four, six, four, six.

Did you make that up?

- North Pole, Mission Control.

- Hello?

- Is this an emergency?

- Yes, it's an emergency. Sort
of.

- Please hold. - No, no, wait,
wait, uh, no, really, uh.

- Hello? - Mom?

- Yes? - Is that you?

- Who's this? Who, who is this?
- It's Chris.

- Chris? - Your son.

- Oh, dear, how are you? - Yeah,
I'm fine. Stan's fine too.

- Oh, good, I've been worried
about you.

- Hey, listen, Mom, we got a,
uh, we got a 33761-A.

- Oh, let me write this down.
All right. - Jennifer Simmons.

- Jennifer Simmons. - You got
that?

- Yes, I got that. I'm patching
you in right now.

- All right. I appreciate it,
Mom, you're the best.

- Oh, sure, dear, I love you.

- I love you too.

- Okay, bye, bye.

- Bye, bye.

- Flight deck, Chief Simmons.

- Ahoy, there, Chief Petty
Officer Simmons.

- Who is this? - Merry
Christmas.

- What is your name and grade,
sailor?

- Hey, you know what? That's
not important, what is important
is,

uh, I got someone here that
wants to speak with you. Hold
on.

- Say again, over.

- There you go. - Hello?

- Jenny? - Daddy.

- Honey. It's so good to hear
your voice.

- I don't understand how did
you do that?

- Is that really important?

- No, I guess not. How can I
thank you?

- Just never give up hope.

- I wish I was home this
Christmas,

but, I'll be home before you
know it.

- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry
Christmas.

- We're driving around in a
stolen vehicle

with a trunk full of stolen
presents.

- Relax. Nothing to connect us
to the car. Just stay cool.

- Tell them that.

- Any wise advice from when you
and Dad used

to get into these little
scrapes?

- Yeah, run.

- Stop. Stop running.

- Santa kid? Help me. Off me.

I can't believe this.

Great.

A kid in a Santa suit steals my
car.

I hate irony.

- Hey, what's up?

- The alarm just went off at
Susan's.

Come on, let's grab the bag.

- Dispatch, we've lost the
suspects.

- Whee!

- Ooh.

- Come here.

- All units be advised.

The suspects are heading for the
docks.

- Roger one.

- Looks like we lost them. Come
on.

- Where are we going?

- I'm supposed to be at Susan's
house under house arrest,
remember?

- What? The closer we are when
they grab you the less time you
spend in jail?

- Shut up. Oh my, this keeps
getting better and better.

Come. - Whoa.

- There's only room in this
town for one Christmas bandit,
you freak.

- I'm not the one ripping those
people off.

- I do admit the elf was a nice
touch.

- Knock it off.

Guess we showed him, huh, Chris?

- Drop the gun. Put your hands
in the air.

- Now, what?

- Get the waffles.

- Huh?

- In jail. For breakfast,

get the waffles,
they're not bad.

- Hands up.

I said, hands in the air,
Napoleon.

- Oh my gosh, what happened?

- Stay in the car.

- Oh, is that Chris?

- He's asleep.

- They're all asleep.

And this isn't Chris, this is
another Santa.

- What happened to these guys?

- Christmas powder, I'm
guessing.

- And how did he get this?

- Why don't we ask Chris?

- There's your Christmas
Bandit.

I got his car and I got his
stolen presents in the trunk.

- I don't know what I'm gonna
do with you.

You've already broken a half a
dozen laws today alone.

- Just trying to do my job.

- Oh, sorry, uh, everybody,
this is Stan.

- Oh, so you're his elf.

- I'm my own elf.

- Oh, right, uh, sorry.

- And if Chris doesn't finish
his job

there are gonna be kids up and
down the west coast

who're gonna lose out on
Christmas.

If the crime rate goes up in San
Diego over the next few years,

don't think you didn't have
anything to do with it.

- Way to go, partner.

- You're buying this, aren't
you?

- Well, he's got a job, I say,
let's let him do it.

- Okay.

- I knew it.

- You knew what? - I knew you
were on the nice list.

- Well, first things first.
Hey, DiGregorio, wake up.

- Hey, Detective Bedford. Is it
Christmas?

- No, it's not Christmas.

- What are we doing here? - You
don't remember?

You guys bagged the Christmas
Bandit. Good work.

- What are you doing? Well, you
know, one Santa comes out,

and another Santa goes in.

Can one of you guys pick up this
bag of trash?

- Still kind of fuzzy.

I'll make my report off your
report if that's okay.

- Sure. Merry Christmas.

- Thank you. I, uh, I never had
a chance to thank you guys.

Passing out those presents today
must have shaved off, what?

Three, three hours. I think Stan
and I are gonna be okay.

And I wanna promise that I will
never forget what you've all
done for me.

Thank you.

- I don't believe it.

- What?

- The getting it.

- The getting what?

- The Christmas spirit.

- You sure?

- You've just been staring at
it, so long you don't see it.

You still thing the Christmas
spirit is something to do with
Christmas.

- Excuse me?

- Take another look. Two nights
ago, that woman caught you in
her house,

dead to rights, with two little
children to protect.

Why didn't she hit you?

- Mm hmm. How 'bout that judge,
could've sent you to jail,

'til your trial, but, did he?
Why?

- And Darryl could've hauled
you back to jail, but, he
didn't.

- And you gave up your address

so that I didn't have to spend
the holidays in jail.

- When a person goes that extra
mile for someone else

and they have nothing to gain,
and maybe even something to
lose,

that's the Christmas spirit.

And it has nothing to do with
the Christmas season or a
special reason.

- I guess that's how my Dad's
done it all these years.

Always giving of himself and
not, never asking for anything
in return.

My Mom, she's awesome.

- And Chris, thanks for helping
me understand a few things.

- Yeah, I've been trying to get
him to understand that for
years.

And you know what?

Thanks from me too, because,
giving out those presents today,

that was great, loved it.

- Oh. Presents.

- Hey, you're gonna need a hand
with that.

- Oh, step aside youngsters,
this is elves work.

- So, what happens now?

You don't have your sleigh, you
don't have your reindeer,

how are you gonna deliver the
rest of your presents?

- Think the Christmas Bandit's
gonna need his car anytime soon?

- Somehow, I don't think so.

- Ah, I'll just borrow his
ride.

- That beater? You're lucky if
you curve Bakersfield in that
heat.

- Not bad. Ooh.

- And this one right here,
Norm.

- Oh.

Uh, and their still warm!

- And I got a couple presents
in here for you two.

It's empty. I've never seen it
do that before.

- Maybe that's because we
already got our present.

- Yeah. I think so.

- Uh, excuse me, guys?

We gotta go.

- Well, will we see you again?

- Oh, we'll definitely see you
again, but, strictly on a 1-way
relationship.

- What do you mean?

- Oh, you know what? Stan's
right.

Um, we're not allowed to let
anyone remember seeing us.

So, uh, I gotta powder you.

- What?

- You know what? I gotta check
with the rule book back at the
pole

because I don't think it counts
for friends.

Merry Christmas, guys.

- Kid? You did nice.

- We did nice, Stan.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry
Christmas.

- Ho, ho, ho.

- Ho, ho, ho.

- On car.

- Merry Christmas, - Merry
Christmas, Santa Jr.

- Merry Christmas, Theo.

Merry Christmas, Shirocco.

Merry Christmas. Merry
Christmas.

- Momma, Momma, it's snowing.

Look it. Whoo-hoo.

Yeah, Mom, come down.

- Well, what the?

Merry Christmas, kids.