All language subtitles for Orange.Is.the.New.Black.S04E08.WEBRip.XviD-FUM

Chiert, help me, suki, bliadi.

What are you looking for?

My mirror.
Where is my mirror?

It's not there?

Not unless it's suddenly turned invisible.

I've been robbed.

-Where is my mirror?
-What?

The magnifying mirror.
The one from my desk.

The one I've seen you use
for your eyebrows.

I don't know.

No one sleeps
when my things go missing.

I'm not sleeping.
I can't sleep.

Wake up.
My mirror is missing.

We have to live together.
It would be pretty dumb to steal from you.

Like you're all geniuses.

--Wake up, motorboat.

Please, I didn't go to sleep
until you left for the shower.

I swear,
I kept myself up.

-Where is my mirror?
-On the desk?

She wouldn't steal from you.
She's terrified of you.

Why would I want to look
at myself in the mirror?

Hey, Reznikov.
It's time to make the donuts.

I'm not ready.
And my mirror is missing.

I don't give a tiger's testicle.

Look, the faster I deliver you,

the faster I can get back
to my mindfulness practice.

So, let's go!

Do you think your time
is more valuable than mine?

Fine. Fine.

I'll put my face on in the kitchen, huh?

Shut up! I'm still asleep!

Wait.

Where's my lip pencil?

Where the hell is my lip pencil?

Now, Reznikov.

Fucking thieves.
I will find you!

Shut the fuck up.

Oh, shoot.
She left the light on.

Thank you.

You okay?

Not even a little bit.

I'm not even looking.
I don't care.

You're not even that hot.

- Wait, maybe you are.

Now this is starting
to feel like overkill.

- You think so?
- Mmm.

More like looks could kill.

Check out the stink eye in this place.

You know, maybe that's 'cause
there's a boy in the girls' room.

These ladies don't seem
too bothered by me.

The bathroom is where
you're the most vulnerable.

--I mean, haven't you ever seen Psycho?

Or read an actuarial table?

Yoga Jones ordered this protection.

Frankly, I think it was
an overreaction.

♪ I've been stealing
Them other ladies' pies ♪

♪ And, ooh, that was a bust ♪

♪ 'Cause them other ladies
Been fakin' when they bakin' ♪

♪ Using that store-bought crust ♪

♪ But Judy's pies is oh-so-tasty
And I never get my fill ♪

♪ So blame it on... ♪

On the other hand...

I'll be, uh, right outside.

Oh, hey, you got the new O?
I was reading a good article.

Oh, you know,
I think McCullough walked off with that.

Oh, here.

You want Women's Health?

-Thank you.
-Enjoy.

Well, I believe those are my eggs.

I only took one bite.
It was getting cold.

You know,
this is getting ridiculous.

I can't spend the rest of my time

with some ding-dong like that
following me around.

Isolation perpetuates the rumors.

That you hate black people?

Look, it was the '80s, all right?
Everybody was a moron in the '80s.

I just want to be able to walk around here

without everybody looking at me
like I'm some kind of terrified bigot.

Out there is overrated.

Why don't we have a TV brought in?

Oh, no.

You know, I wouldn't wanna risk

sullying your karma, your chi
or whatever with such a base object.

Idiot box. I believe
that's what you called it last week.

Did I?
I don't remember.

Mmm-hmm. And I think you called me
the idiot on the idiot box.

Right?

Well, it's starting
to look like it's true.

And there... there's gotta be
some way to clear the air.

Make reparations.

Forty acres and some eggs.

Why don't you tell them again

how many black friends
you have in your kitchen and your field?

Okay, you shut up,
you PC hippie hypocrite.

I would wager that your last address
before you came here

wasn't exactly in the inner city.

At least I didn't talk to puppets
that used the word "jigaboo."

Hmm?

No more eggs for you.

An inmate
from Litchfield Federal Prison

is attempting to contact you.

-Cal!
-Piper!

Cal! Cal, you have no idea
how badly I've wanted...

to hear your voice.

Well, would you rather
hear my voice?

Or a pre-war Gibson banjo
that Earl Scruggs played at the Opry?

-Your voice, for sure.
-You're right.

You're right. I haven't earned it yet.
I need to practice more.

So, you got Neri's message,
didn't you?

What?
What message?

Neri sent you a psychic message
to call us.

I was skeptical at first,
but, I mean, here you are.

Cal, I've missed you so much.

There's really nobody in here
for me to... talk to right now.

We are pregnant!

You got pregnant in the basement?

I mean, we...
we think that it might have

actually happened in the laundry room
or maybe in the dining room.

Um, we're not sure.

Mom has a standing hair appointment,
Tuesdays from 11:00 to 1:00.

And yet, her hair has never changed.
It's a mystery.

I mean, we're not technically
supposed to tell anyone yet,

because it's only eight weeks,
but I don't care, fuck it.

Holy shit.

Wow!
Congratulations.

That's wonderful.

It is pretty cool.

I'm already bonding with the baby.

I talk to him and I sing to him.
In English and in Korean.

Did I tell you
that we're all learning Korean?

Oh, we've got
a whole new business, Pipes.

We ship used clothes over to Korea.

Vintage. Uh, podo suhwag.

I mean, we're killing it.
They can't get enough.

Neri sweeps through
Goodwill, Sally Army, St. V's,

and then she ships it over
to our friend, Helen Hong, in Seoul.

I mean, ever since
the panties dried up,

we were...
we were in real trouble,

but babies bring luck and inspiration.

Yeong-gam.

What do you think
of the name "Clarence," huh?

-Clarence Chapman?
-Do you know it's a boy?

I don't.
Not yet.

But I'm willing it to be a boy
because women are terrifying.

-Yeah.
-Yeah, yeah.

Neri is pretty psyched
and I'm here to buy him his first banjo.

- You can never start it too early.

Music education sucks in schools now
which is, like, a total travesty...

- Cal--
- No, I know. I... I know, I know.

If it is a girl, and it could be,
she will play the fiddle.

So, maybe... maybe I shouldn't
pull the trigger yet on the banjo.

You're gonna be an amazing dad.

I'm totally fucking scared
that I'm gonna fuck it all up.

I mean,
you know where we came from.

You are so much warmer,
you are so much lovelier,

and you are so much awesomer.

Plus, you married the anti-Mom.
There's no way.

Stop it.

Wow.
That is so nice of you to say.

I'm really glad you called, Pipes.

I just wanted to check in,
and, um, hear your voice.

All Whispers employees report to the yard.

Whispers employees to the yard.

Cal, I, uh... I gotta go.

I love you, Daddy.

Okay, yeah, love you.
Bye, Aunty Piper.

-Okay, bye.
-Bye.

Looks like you got light bugs.

- Might be an infestation.
- Oh, gee.

I don't know
what to do about that.

You got any advice for me,
Miss Nichols?

Darkness, Miss Morello.

You fight the light with darkness.

Care to visit me on the dark side?

Well, actually, it's Mrs. Muccio now.

Didn't even spring
for the hyphenate, huh?

We're very traditional.

Looks like you might need to do
a little bit of cleaning up in here.

Yeah, yeah.
I'll get to that one later.

That's our stall.

Yeah, I'm aware.

I'm married now.

I took vows.

You know, it's, uh...

it's not cheating
if you're in different zip codes, right?

And, uh, there's no dick.

So... that's a freebie.

It's cheating if I even
think about somebody else.

Lusting in the heart and all that?
Just like Jimmy Carter says.

You're really telling me
you didn't miss me at all?

You didn't think about me?

'Cause I sure missed you.

Of course I missed you...

but that was because
I was worried about you.

Look.

Look, there's the little chip in the tile
from when you cut your arm.

Aw, remember you didn't notice
until after your third orgasm?

Okay, no.
No, you are not helping me.

You're making me think about things
I should not be thinking about.

It's not right, Nicky.

Where'd you go?

No, stay there. Don't!

Leave me alone.

Baby, I'm here.

I can touch you.
You need to be touched.

He can't give that to you.

Uh, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay, no!

Vinny and I,
we have a future.

Sure.

Or you have no future

'cause you're virtual strangers
living in a fantasy world.

And it's gonna shatter
into a million pieces

when the mundane realities
of day-to-day life

intrude on your maiden-in-a-tower,
prince-down-below fairy-tale bullshit.

'Cause it's retarded.

Plus he's probably been banging the single
mom next door the whole time, anyway,

because who can live on fantasy
and promises for that long, right?

People get lonely.

Or not.
Okay?

Maybe it's the real thing.

I've never met the guy.

For all I know,
maybe it's true love, right?

Are you sure he wouldn't get off
on hearing about you with another chick?

- Owens!
- Here.

- Piendak!
- Here.

- Sankey!
- Here.

Watson!

Let me hear
a verbal confirmation, inmate.

Here.

A little bit louder now!

- Here!
- Ow!

-What?
-Nothing, sorry.

My ear was too close to your mouth.
My bad.

Now, ladies, due to the breach in security
at the Whispers factory,

it has been decided
that all employees of Whispers

will be replaced
with more trustworthy inmates.

Wait, you mean
we ain't got jobs no more?

Means you ain't got that job no more.

But lucky for you,
a new opportunity has knocked.

- Welcome to Construction 101.

So, wait, is this a job
or is this a class?

This is vocational training.

Well, uh, paid vocational training?

We was makin' a dollar an hour
at Whispers.

If you are able to master these skills
and get a job once you're released,

- the paycheck could be in your future.

But to be clear as crystal, no money.

For whatever this is.

This is a class.

Thanks, jefe.

- Hope it was worth it.
- Mmm-hmm.

You gonna fill my commissary now?

Hey, back the fuck off.

Hey, hey!

Eyes up front.

I will now introduce you
to your construction foreman instructor,

Mr. McDonald.

--He will walk you through safety training

so we can have an efficient

and incident-free
work-learning environment.

Ooh, baby,
I'd let him jackhammer me.

Mmm, I think I'm gonna need
a lot of instruction.

Please let him be straight.

Wrangler jeans.
He's straight.

Yeah, right.
You can keep me safe, Mr. Mackadocious.

Quiet down, inmates.

Mr. Piscatella?

I have a heart condition,
and I don't know if this whole, you know,

manual labor and heat thing...
it's gonna work for me.

I think I got a bad heart, too.
Really bad heart.

Yeah, me, too.

Come up here and we'll find you
an appropriate position...

DeMarco.

I know what position I'd like.

That's enough, ma'am.

Ladies, safety is number one
on the job site.

And safety comes with confidence
and comfort using tools and equipment.

Confidence and comfort
come from practice and common sense.

I will be your guide and supervisor
as we erect this structure.

He said "erect."

What exactly is this structure?

From the plans I've been given,
it's a giant cube with a roof.

Now, anyone here have
any carpentry or construction experience?

Show of hands?

- I need an apprentice.
- Oh, here!

I love your enthusiasm, ladies.

Let's wait to choose
an apprentice 'til we see who earns it.

Inmates, give us a minute
while we figure out your work assignments.

If we're gonna make anything off of this,

we gotta get that paparazzi pizza dough.

You got to get the phone charged.

Juice up the box.

Juice up the box?

Like a juice box.

Only the juice is electricity
and the box is the--

You called money
"paparazzi pizza dough."

-Okay, fine.
-I'll give you half a point for effort.

Hell, no, you ain't.
This ain't no participation trophy.

Look, that's what's wrong
with this country.

You either score or you miss.

God damn it!
We lost the hydraulics!

- Try downshifting!
- I tried that already.

-Can you fix it?
-I'm not a mechanic.

McDonald, let's put our new trainees
to work while we wait on the fix.

Everyone, grab a shovel
and let's get started.

Uh, shouldn't we finish
going through safety training

- before we get started?
- You did.

Practice and common sense.
Stay safe.

Let's get to work.

Let's go!

Hard hats, first, please.

How is this educational?

Lesson one, don't do crime
because prison is unpleasant.

Start digging, ladies.
You have a hard hat and a shovel.

Oops!

Silly me.
I'm so clumsy.

Got 'em!

- Let's do this.
- What?

Don't hold out on me.

I'm not holdin' nothin'.

But you promised to show me
how to do eye makeup like you do.

Oh! That.

Right, yeah, right.

Okay, I've been thinking, though,
you gotta bring your own pencil,

'cause if you use mine, you could get,
like, pinkeye or something.

Do you have pinkeye?

I don't think so,

but I don't know, and you gotta be
really careful around here.

Okay, so listen,
you go to the drug store,

you get yourself
a really good black eyeliner pencil

and then I'll show you everything.

And it doesn't even
have to be expensive, neither.

Maybe pick up a mascara, too.
Uh, the pink one.

And then we'll do
a whole lesson, okay?

- Yeah, okay.
- Okay.

Great, I gotta go.
I'm gonna think about ways

on how to make your eyes really pop
and make you really cute.

Mmm-mmm!

Man.

You know, I don't know
what your secret is, Specs,

but you are looking
even hotter than I remember.

-Suck it, Nichols.
-Come on.

You're single.
I'm single.

The birds are singing.
The grass is soft.

The grass is covered
in off-brand weed killer.

Pretty please?
Okay?

I just spent 94 days in Max
in an eight-bed cell

with, among others,
two random shriekers

and a woman who put her baby
through a dryer cycle.

Oh, that is sexy.

Oh!
Oh, that's nothing.

I learned to shit in front of an audience.

Yeah, of course what you're flushing

is mainly just whatever's left
of your humanity. So...

Yeah, well, it's not like
it's been a fun-fest over here.

Fuck you, Vause.

This place is like a camp.

What happened?

The commissary run out of chocolate chips?

It's been a shitty
couple of months, Nicky.

You're not the only one
that has rough times.

Okay, new plan.

You and me go on
a magic carpet ride to happy town.

Jesus, you've got a one-track mind.

For your information,
I have a two-track mind.

All right,
come join me on track deux.

Look...

you can even keep your clothes on.

Oh, of course, you know,

if you don't need a vacation
from your reality, then, uh...

hey, by all means, decline.

Hey, smells good.

You leave that stuff in the place?

I need to talk to you about that.

Why?
Something went wrong?

No, no, no, no.
No, it was fine.

- I mean... sorry. I left it.

It's all fine.

Ooh, you got the shrimp flavor.
That's a good one.

I haven't been...
eating so good lately

'cause I'm so nervous all the time.

Have you tried meditating?

Maria, I need to stop.

I almost got caught today.

I think the key word there is "almost."

Almost don't count.

So, you're gonna calm yourself,

and you're going to keep doing
what you're doing.

And if I don't want to?

Ain't about want.

- Keep going!

Hey, Boo! Are you thirsty?

Oh, fuck, yeah!

What, is this some kind of
lesbian superpower

that you can fix machines like this,
like a man?

Are you kidding?

- Oh!

Ah.

-I got no fucking clue what I'm doing.
-You don't?

I figure if I loosen and tighten
the bolt repeatedly,

it eats up the whole fucking day
and keeps me out of the trenches.

That's... that's pretty smart.

Now, scram, girl.
You're blowing my cover.

Oh, no, no, no.
It's totally cool.

They assigned me to learn from you,

just in case if anything breaks,
somebody else knows how to fix it.

'Cause, like, what if you get let out...
or you're busy?

How do you like them apples?

All About Eve, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

'Cause Adam... Adam told her
not to eat that apple.

And she ate it, she became wise.
Just like me.

Yeah.
Tell you what.

Come on under here,
I'll show you what we're doing.

Keep working, inmate.

Oh, Jesus, you cutting yourself now?

I thought I was the emo one.

-What?
-You're bleeding.

Fuck.

I used to cut myself.
But in, like, cool designs.

She should cut herself.

We're all out of work because of her.

If you can't dig
and talk at the same time,

then you dig and shut up.

Shovels in the dirt.
Now!

And don't touch 'em for a half an hour.

I'm not doing free fixing
'cause you were a moron

and felt like seeing if they were dry.

Okay, I said it was a mistake.
Some lint got stuck to it.

Pa' fuera.

Got time for a walk-in?

Don't expect a family discount.

You been chewing on these again?

Some of us got a lot on our minds.

You don't think I got a lot on my mind?

I gotta figure out a place
to set up the salon out there.

I gotta hire girls to help me.

Maybe a receptionist with great nails

so that everyone can see the work
right when they walk in.

What the fuck are you talking about?

I'm talkin' about my future.

You gotta get your cosmetology license.

You gotta rent a place.

Fill it with chairs and foot buckets

and get the machine
that kills the germs on the tools.

Where you gonna get money
for all that?

You lucky if you could afford
a few bottles of polish.

Got a lot on your mind.

Got some nerve.

You got make-believe on your mind.

You know, maybe you can...

start in someone else's place.

Learn the business
and take over that shit.

You'll run it in no time.

You're like that bug
that takes over the other bug

and controls it and everything.

And you're really good
at figuring out business stuff, so...

What color you want?

Oh, CO Bayley, I asked you politely
to please wait outside.

Miss Washington is a friend.

Right, but I'm your shadow, you know.

Who knows
what evil lurks in the hearts of man?

The Shadow knows!

Been listening to a retro radio podcast.

Podcast?
No, okay.

All right.
I'll, uh, I'll wait outside.

Ooh, The Wise Man's Fear.

I loved The Name of the Wind.
Can I, uh... Can I borrow that?

Knock yourself out.

What's goin' on with that?

I... I've been assigned protection
and it's driving me bananas.

Now... I know your friends
are frustrated with me,

but surely we can find some way
to work that out.

Wait. Wait, wait.

You think the black girls
are gonna jump you?

Well, uh, the crazy one has been
taunting me with songs from the show.

And the big one with the puffy hair,

she cornered me in the hallway
with the... gal with the head wrap.

I didn't make that up.

It's not like you wouldn't
deserve it after that chitlin' mess.

They were puppets.

Yeah, puppets that reinforce stereotypes

that black people
are dumb and superstitious.

They steal and they love
being indentured servants.

And don't get me started
on the cannibalism.

I gotta tell you,
it's disappointing.

All right, look,
I sincerely regret it.

But they did promote fresh food.
I mean, there was a message.

Oh, all right.

Listen, I'm gonna tell you the truth.

I did a lot of blow back
in the early '80s,

and it kept me thin and awake,

but it didn't do much
for my cultural sensitivity,

or my bank account,
or my gynecological health.

Now, the chips fell,
I eventually moved on.

And here I am.

But it can get lonely, you know?

I'm... I'm trying to put
a brave face on it,

but to tell you the truth,
I could use some friends.

Other than a skinny hippie
always in crisis.

You know,
it's hard enough being in here

without feelin' everybody hates me.

It ever occur to you
that it's racist to assume

that black people are gonna
beat you up for bein' racist?

And you have a good point there.
Right, all right, look,

I'm tryin'.

I mean, maybe I am a racist.
Maybe I'm just too stupid to know it,

but shit, I am the friendliest racist
that you are ever gonna meet,

- so can't we all just get along?

All right. All right, I'll talk to 'em.
See what's up.

Great, thank you. Thank you.
I really appreciate it.

You are one of the good ones.

No, I meant that as in people in general.

Just...

Shh.

She saw me!

Nicky?

Nicky?

What are you doing?

Hey, Bummer Chapman,

get the fuck down
or fuck the fuck off.

Bum, bum-bum, bum, bummer.

My tongue feels delightful.

- Hey!

Ow!

Argh!

Shit!

Psst! You know,
from this angle,

your nose hairs are pretty prominent, no?

-Oh, my God.
-Look at that.

- Well, she used to trim them.

You are really letting yourself go,
Chapman.

Are you two crazy?
What the fuck are you doing?

It's a weekly meeting, okay,

for the morally morose
and successfully challenged.

So we're just going back and forth

and, uh, talking about
all the truly dreadful, horrible shit

that we have to slog through
on a daily basis--

- And we're smoking crack.
- Oh, yeah! That, too.

Are you two fucking serious?

While not my first choice,

crack in small amounts
is actually good for you.

It's gotten a bad rap over the years.
I don't even...

--Yeah, yeah.

Drug beggars
can't be drug choosers, you know.

Perfect. So you guys
are cracked out of your minds.

Hmm.

Ah!

And you can be, too.
Here.

Uh, full disclosure,
that crack's been up someone's ass.

-Probably Angie's.
-Oh, definitely Angie's.

Yeah, I traded her a lipstick for it.

- Here you go.
- And don't worry, Piper.

It's sterilized by the flame.

Fuck it.

Whoa! Seriously?

Why would you offer it to me,

if you weren't actually
gonna share it with me?

No, I'm just... surprised.

Well, don't be.

Hand it over.

Okay, so, what do I do?

Now breathe in.
Real deep.

Real deep, hold it!

Wow.

Wow.

Take it easy.

Take it easy? Fuck that!
I was branded, okay?

Man, I did not see that coming.

Holy shit!

You're a Nazi now?

Not a Nazi.
I think I'm a Nazi sympathizer.

I think that was the message.

I brought this on myself.

This is what I've become.
This is what I've become.

This is what I've fucking become,
you guys.

How do I come back from this?

I sent Stella down the hill.
Why did I have to do that?

She stole your money.

I was acquainted with her in Max.

My parents didn't teach me
to be like this.

What I did to Maria...

I didn't feel bad.

I didn't think twice.

I just...

went too far.

I always go too far.

I always go too fucking far.

And I can't fucking stop it.

You're not the worst person
in here, Piper.

I think that I've been trying
to win prison.

And I've destroyed people's lives.

Gimme that shit again.

-Yeah.
-Gimme that.

I killed someone.

Fuck, man.

What, by accident?

No. No, I killed him.

On purpose.

Fuck...

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

What? How?

That's impossible.
You couldn't do that. I know you.

Last month.
Kubra sent someone in here to kill me.

Like I said he would.

I mean, in here?

-Fuckin' A.
-How?

Alex, what did you do with the body?

You're sitting on him.

Parts of him.
I mean, he's all over.

Oh, God.

Stop.

Look, just because
I sit behind a desk all day

does not mean
your job is harder than mine.

As a matter of fact, it does.

You dig a hole for four hours
and tell us if your job is harder.

Do you know how complicated phones
have gotten since we've been inside?

As complicated
as findin' chargers for them?

I'm tryin'.
Caputo's got a different brand going on.

There go my girl.
P, please tell these bitches

that my job
is just as hard as diggin' a ditch.

- It's not.
- Ah!

Look, why y'all trying
to beat up Judy King?

Because she racist.

Why would we beat up an old white lady?

One pop and she down.

And it would ruin the photo.

Ain't nobody trying
to beat down Judy King.

-Who told you that?
-She did.

She told me y'all chased her
down the hallway

and Crazy Eyes
was singing like a murder doll.

Wait, what photo?
What are you--

We're trying to get a picture.

-A picture of what?
-Of Judy King.

That's it?

-Just a picture?
-Just a picture.

Chapman? Wow.
You look even worse than this morning.

Are you sure
you don't wanna go to medical?

No, this crash...

is bad.

Just processing a lot of stuff right now.

Ooh. Did you have diarrhea?
You need to stay hydrated.

I wanna say, you're all doing a great job.
Keep it up.

Bet you don't have that problem.

--Right.

You hear there's a time machine
in laundry?

Oh, yeah, and there's a fountain of youth
in the ghetto toilet.

Yeah, blue helmet.

Do any y'all want water?

You know, if that shit was true,
I'd go back and see my dead mom.

Tell her not to date
the guy that killed her.

I'd go back and not end up
in this fucking place.

Y'all ever think about, like,
going back and killing Hitler?

Or maybe I'd go back,
raise Hitler right.

You know, give him lots of love
and encourage his artistic side,

try to be a good mom figure to him.

Maybe he'd have less anger issues.

I'd go back and tell him
to seize the Suez Canal early on.

That'd secure
most of the Mediterranean,

giving the Third Reich easy access to oil.

I can't. They need it over here.

Where would you go,
back in time?

-Me?
-Yeah.

Uh... well, summer of '99,

I was supposed to see Judas Priest
at, uh, Ralph Wilson Stadium,

but my friend, Champ Silvers,

he challenged me to drink
a dirty 30 pack in the parking lot.

Of Coors Light.

And, uh, I puked everywhere.

I never even got in to see
Rob Halford on stage.

-Regrets, you know?
-Yeah.

Put some tape on it.
It's all right.

--I'm telling you, Lorna,

if I would have known
Jack was gonna try something,

I would've locked the door.

The kid's got unusual sleep patterns.

I look up, the doors open
and there's Tommy.

And his eyes are going, "What?"

And he makes a noise, "Oh."

Oh, my goodness.

And you and Jack,
you just kept going?

Oh, yeah, basically.

I said, "Tommy, go back to your room,
your mommy and daddy are making love."

Well, I guess at that age,
he doesn't know what that means.

I hardly know what it means at my age.

Jack and I are like ships in the night.

That's why I didn't stop
when I saw the kid there.

Yeah, well, Vinny and I
just had the honeymoon, so...

You know what Tommy said last week?

He says, "I'm never getting married."

I said, "Well, never's a long time."

He says, "I don't want some girl
spending all my money."

He don't get that mouth from me.

Franny, I...
I think Vinny's cheating on me.

Oh, Lorn, you don't know that.

From what you told me,
he don't sound like the type.

He hasn't visited in weeks.
We barely even talk on the phone.

Honey, you're letting your mind
run away with you.

I'm sure it's nothing.
You gotta trust.

-I gotta know.
-Then you gotta ask.

What if I don't believe him?
I can't live with that.

That's marriage.

You think I don't wonder where Jack's been
when he comes home after 11:00

and says he's been "bowling"?

You get to see Jack every day.

Honey, will you just go...
visit him for me?

-What, like, at his house?
-Mmm-hmm.

What good will that do?

Lorna, this is the kinda garbage
that got you in here.

No, no.
He is family.

And I don't mean like that.

I... I mean,

I mean, just get to know him a little.

- He's your brother, for Christ's sake!

Please, I'm begging you!
You know I would do this for you.

I would do this for you!

I just can't live thinking that he's using
some other housewife's oven mitt.

--All right.

I'll go to his house.

Thank you so much.
I love you, my sister.

I love you.

Uh...

- You got an appointment?
- Uh-uh.

Walk-in.

-Is that okay?
-That depends.

Take a seat.

That's a lot of hair.

Are we really playing
Barbie Styling Head here?

You know, I got places to be. So...

Updo it is.

Ow. Yeah, that's nice.
You really know what you're doing, huh?

Fabulous.

Yeah...
I'm like a real Audrey Hepburn, huh?

Thank you.

Can you do that somewhere else?

You can paint nails anywhere.

Of course.

I finally find a job I'm good at.

Turns out to be a drug front.

I got two days left in this shithole.

I can't screw it up.

Then don't screw it up.

How's everything looking here?

Oh, you mean this?

-She's totally fucking dead.
-Oh, yeah?

I mean, I can't get her to start at all.

-You wanna give it a shot?
-Yeah.

All right.

- Whoa!
- Here you go, man.

Well, first off, you needed
to have it in neutral to restart it.

-Uh-huh.
-It looks like it just overheated.

-I see.
-Yeah, should work fine now.

So if it conks out,
let it cool,

put it in neutral, restart it.
Easy fix.

Huh! Listen, um...

if anyone should ask,

could you make it sound
way more complicated than that?

Man, oh, man, I'm gonna be
so fucking sore tomorrow.

I gotta start exercising.

Man, did you see how fast
that thing took dirt out a hole?

-I know.
-Like, whoosh.

Man, I feel like an autoworker
in Detroit after the robots came.

Like, "Oh, shit, I'm an autoworker
and now I'm out of a job"?

Or like, "Yay!
The robots are here

to do this shitty, horrible
autoworker work. Thank God"?

Hmm...

Uh, why is she running at me like that?

Ah!
What the fuck was that for?

-That was dope.
-Did you get it? Let me see.

Damn, she taste like strawberry.

Okay. Yeah, come on.

All right, the second one is a winner.
Don't you think?

- Huh? What?
- Look, what do you think?

Interracial lesbian love
behind bars, okay.

We're gonna hold out
for the big bucks, ladies, you know?

Make the rags fight over it.

All right, you did so good.

My mamma gonna see me
kissing a white woman.

What? I'm a mammal.

But maybe you're right,
I should shave this shit.

It's like my hormones are out of whack.

Where did you get that?

Commissary.

They haven't sold those since '92.

Tell me where it came from.

I got it in the salon.
On trade.

I was not aware the salon
was back up and running.

Oh, yeah.
Updos, downdos.

We got any 'do you wanna do.

I can see.

Vidal Sassoon's got nothing on you.

Business is business.

Stop giving me the side-eye.

I know how it got there.

Life is so tough
you can't make it into your own bunk?

I don't feel good.

I heard that Alex told you
how our garden grows.

If you say a word, I'll end you.

I would... never.

I just can't...

I can't believe she did what she did.

It needed to be done.

She told me...

and I didn't listen.

She was all on her own.

Maybe she was,
but now she's not.

I've been helping her.
So has Frieda.

She has friends.
Maybe not you, but other people.

-I should have been there for her.
-You had other things on your mind.

Being a panty kingpin took a lot of work.

If I had known,
I would have done something.

Honey... what she did
was morally defensible.

I think, ultimately,
she will find comfort in that.

It was kill or be killed.

Maybe you should worry about the choices
you've made a little more.

She's in pain.

We are all in pain.

I miss my mirror.

And you hurt your arm.

Hot plate accident?

Another tattoo?

Don't think I didn't hear
your tossing and turning all night.

It's nothing.

Show me.

Who did that to you?

Doesn't matter.
It's done.

Well, you can't go around
with that horror.

I probably deserve it.

We all need help.

Hey. Hey, there!

We gotta stop
running into each other like this.

Yeah, or you could, uh,
just stop followin' me.

That, uh, that whole Judas Priest thing,
that was a stupid joke.

Oh.

Truth be told, I'd probably
go back to when we first met.

-Okay.
-I would have treated you like a person.

Not like a duck.
Or... a thing.

And I... I...

I would have liked our first time,

if we had gotten there,
to have been... nice.

And I would have wanted to see your face.

And to have told you
what I told you about...

uh, loving you, but softer.

I wish I hadn't been so mad.

It wasn't fair what happened and...

So yeah, that's probably
what I'd go back to.

And I'm still trying
to figure out why it happened.

Why...

I did what I did.

I'm sorry, Doggett.

Thank you.
Thank you for saying that.

The backhoe broke down
within the first ten minutes.

Then it turned into a scene
out of Cool Hand Luke,

with the inmates
digging trenches in the sun.

Never seen that movie.

I've let them all down.

Well, you didn't let me down.

-Not now.
-Why not?

Because I'm upset.

Is that not obvious?

You know, the school had no chance.

Don't make me feel like
I'm some kind of dream killer.

At least a new dorm
will help with overcrowding.

Might help boost morale a little bit.

Okay.
Good then.

Morale... is... boosted.

- Or not boosted?

- I'll get that.

Will you watch the sauce?
Keep stirring.

-Who was it?
-Oh, it was no one.

I'll get it.
I'll get it.

-Who the hell is that?
-It's no one.

It's probably just a salesperson.

I hear you, Mr. Caputo.

And don't you even think about
turning that sprinkler back on me again.

Again? How many times
has she been here?

Shh! Keep it down.

--Keep it down. Keep it down.

I'm not going anywhere!
I know you're in there!

-Who is that?
-It's Crystal Burset.

Am I supposed to know who that is?

She's married to Sophia Burset,

the inmate you guys made me
put in a four-by-four box.

The human being you won't allow me
to release from inhumane captivity.

Why do you keep saying "you"?

It's not me.
I'm Linda.

I'm here to eat pasta and spend the night.

Can you separate me
from the corporation we both work for?

You're right.

You're right.
I'm sorry.

It's been going on for too long,
and it's starting to get to me.

Hey, hey, you're not MCC.

Hello?
I know you're in there, Mr. MCC.

All right.
I'm calling the cops.

-Don't do that.
-No, this is ridiculous.

-She's harassing us.
-I will handle it.

Crystal, it's late.

MCC denied our request
under the Freedom of Information Act.

I need to know what's going on.

Pasta. And I made a salad.

And we've been at work all day.
So, good night.

Everything okay over there?

-Who the hell is that?
-I have no idea.

I told you I will handle this.

Please. Go check on the sauce.

I need to know that she's okay.

I mean, I don't even know if she's alive.

MCC is hiding behind
its private corporate status

and not complying with federal laws.

Our lawsuit just goes on and on
and she's lost in there!

I assure you she is alive and well.

Well, I need proof.

I need documentation.

I need records.
I need a paper trail.

I'm entitled to that.

She's a federal prisoner.

What the fuck?

I got mugged once in Newark.
Don't worry, it's registered.

-What the fuck?
-No.

No, no, no guns.
Put the gun away.

This is a registered gun and you are
trespassing on private property.

You've been asked to leave
and I'm going to ask you one more time.

Please leave.
Now.

-Get back in your car, sir.
-Oh, Jesus.

You've got a gun on my girlfriend.

Well, if your girlfriend
joins you in your car,

she'll be far away from the gun.

Okay?

Call the office next time.
We will talk on the phone.

That was so hot.

Are we sure about this?
I mean, that's still really tender.

--We have to do it now or it won't match.

Yeah.

Let's do it.

Okay.

- Hold her tight.

I'm so sorry.

I know. I know.

I'm so sorry...

--Oh.

When God gives you a swastika,
he opens a window.

And then you remember...

there is no God.